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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Poking fun at the (linguistically) handicapped
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420

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Once, I had a very upper class young lady from Spain working in the office on an internship programme. She sat near Delia, whose language tended towards the colourful.

One day, the Spanish lady asked me, with the dignity befitting a queen, "Who should be contacted? My telephone be all fucked up."

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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There were apparently not enough candles at the late service Christmas Eve at the church where I work. The attendance sheet has been labelled:

quote:
Friday, December 24, 2004
10:30 PM
(Candle-lite Service)


Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
musician

Ship's grin without a cat
# 4873

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this is a good thread!

years ago, psyduck had ordered a book. one day the phone rang at home and when he answered the voice at the end spoke in the hushed, assumed posh tones one usually hears in a comedy sketch when a real person is talking to a Cleric.

"hello" it said. "is that mr psyduck. the reverend mr psyduck?"
he agreed with this and the voice continued
"this is xxx's bookshop. it's just to tell you that the book what you've ordered has came in"

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Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693

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quote:
Originally posted by Beethoven:

quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
quote:
Originally posted by Balaam:
How would you pronounce "Wednesday"?

Voe-tawn's dog (Wodansdag) when I'm Speaking Swedish or attempting German...
Hey, when did Sweden change it from Onsdag????? [Ultra confused] [Eek!]
We haven't changed. Or if we have, noone has told me. [Paranoid]

English is not my first language and I'm learning loads from this thread. It seems that I have unknowingly been mixing British and American words and spelling. I don't even want to think about pronounciation... [Help]

Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Hazey*Jane

Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754

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quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
Yes, I know what you mean, Newman's Own. My mother once came out with a classic, and my husband is still amazed that I knew what she meant. After travelling home from my grandfather's house, she commented:

"Well, it's been a good journey - all the traffic has been either with us, or going the other way."

Oh, that reminds me of my Great Aunt, bless her. Recounting once how she had managed to miss her bus stop she explained how she had had to "get off at the next one and walk backwards." She also once enquired, when I told her about the Secondary school I was excited about starting, "Will you be there till you leave?" I knew exactly what she meant but...
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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I almost put 'do' instead of 'due' in my post on your thread, Jane.

Sorry, Light! I am an opera fanatic and I have misplaced my Avsnitt Bök! I guess I wasn't University of Lund material. I see you are affiliated with the University. I was an architecture major at the University of California for a year before I returned to southern California for an easier course. What sort of engineering are you studying?

[read Light's profile and modified stupid question]

[ 03. January 2005, 23:16: Message edited by: Sir Kevin ]

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693

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Sir Kevin, I study mostly computer science (datorteknik). I am doing my last exams this week and the next so please wish me luck!
I'm sure you would have been welcome to study here too, there is an architectural course. But the weather in California must be much more pleasant!

(Will stop derailing thread now.)

Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Light:
English is not my first language and I'm learning loads from this thread. It seems that I have unknowingly been mixing British and American words and spelling. I don't even want to think about pronunciation... [Help]

Your use of English is fantastic. It is a huge deal better than a lot of written English that I have seen, supposedly written by native speakers.

I don't think that anyone on the Ship would notice if you mixed American and British words or spelling. We are so used to seeing both that I doubt it would even register.

Don't worry about pronunciation, you are probably far more intelligible than an average person from London. [Razz]

[ 04. January 2005, 13:13: Message edited by: babybear ]

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Exiled Youth
Shipmate
# 8744

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going back to dictation howlers briefly...one that i heard somewhere was a professor dictating the title of a module to the uni secretary, and turning up to find the lecture hall crammed with girls. The lecture on "discovering micro-organisms and fungis" had, predictably enough, been advertised as "discovering micro-orgasms and fun guys".

The one that REALLY gets my goat is aluminum. There are TWO "I"s in that word. Grr. Just another one to add to the list of pond-hopping annoyances.

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Gold from Egypt is still gold -- St. Augustine of Hippo

Posts: 411 | From: Home Sweet Home | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Gracious rebel

Rainbow warrior
# 3523

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quote:
Originally posted by Exiled Youth:


The one that REALLY gets my goat is aluminum. There are TWO "I"s in that word. Grr. Just another one to add to the list of pond-hopping annoyances.

But sadly in this case I think you'll find our american cousins have even changed the spelling to match their (mis)pronunciation! [Biased] So I don't think we have much cause for complaint on that one.

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Fancy a break beside the sea in Suffolk? Visit my website

Posts: 4413 | From: Suffolk UK | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
zandolit

Shipmate
# 346

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quote:
Originally posted by Exiled Youth:

The one that REALLY gets my goat is aluminum. There are TWO "I"s in that word. Grr. Just another one to add to the list of pond-hopping annoyances.

Well, apparently the guy (Humphry Davy)who originally isolated aluminium named it alumium. Then for reasons unknown he changed the name to aluminum. Americans adopted the new term. But then the Brits decided they didn't like it because it mucked up the -ium pattern and just decided to change the name without checking with the guy who named it in the first place.

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Senye, nou kontan se ou kap kenbe nou e se pa nou kap kenbe ou

Posts: 185 | From: Britain's oldest recorded town | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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On the ship, for me, British spelling is the default. What right do we uppity former colonists think we have to change it? Of course in the classroom I give spelling tests and occasionally introduce new words. Now if I could only pronounce all the letters as my pupils' parents and grandparents did in Mexico, they'd all get 100%. Grrrr! [Frown]

One thing I hear in spoken English alot is 'should of', should've mis-enunciated. I always try to speak without contractions in school as pupils aged 6-8 years are often English language learners; if they started in my school district at age 5, I do expect them to be able to spell and write in US English but due to their different pronunciation of the alphabet that is not always the case. I can however always tell an intelligent student who only has language problems by his skill in maths. (I am missing teaching right now as my school is on hiatus for another week).

A misconception I have had for years is popular phrases I had never seen wriiten, i.e. song lyrics such as You've got another think coming by Judas Priest. Can anyone come up with any others?

[I'm just now learning now how intelligent and well-educated bands like the Rolling Stones are. I always knew Sir Mick graduated from LSE and that Charlie was a graphic artist, but now know Keith and Ronnie went to art school (as did I although it was a department at a major university).]

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I can however always tell an intelligent student who only has language problems by his skill in maths.

Bad move!

There is far more to intelligence than being good at maths. Some people have a special aptitude at maths that is not present in the rest of their work. There are some who have dyscalculia and would appear to be utterly thick (but of course are not).

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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/tangent/
Admittedly, I'm only a supply teacher and father of one (who has dysgraphia), but if someone cannot tell the difference between 10+10 and 10x10 by age 10, they should be in 'special class', not in a regular classroom. I have to spend 25% of my time with these pupils at the expense of the other 22! Although our great-grandfather was a medical doctor and our father and grandfather were both mechanical engineers, my sister, brother and I did not inherit the family math gene; I cannot do calculus and chemistry but we all learned our times tables before we were 10!
[Disappointed]
/end tangent/

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
musician

Ship's grin without a cat
# 4873

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Sir Kevin
quote:
/tangent/
Admittedly, I'm only a supply teacher and father of one (who has dysgraphia), but if someone cannot tell the difference between 10+10 and 10x10 by age 10, they should be in 'special class', not in a regular classroom. I have to spend 25% of my time with these pupils at the expense of the other 22! Although our great-grandfather was a medical doctor and our father and grandfather were both mechanical engineers, my sister, brother and I did not inherit the family math gene; I cannot do calculus and chemistry but we all learned our times tables before we were 10!

/end tangent/

that's a wind up. please tell me that's a wind up.
Posts: 1569 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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That it is! I spend more time on my principal career stage tech, but principals (head teachers), other teachers and pupils know me as a very caring and concerned teacher who believes that every pupil and every subject is important.

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420

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It is worrying me that I understood perfectly what the comments about the traffic meant.. [Smile] Then again, I have often heard such gems as 'pull the door behind you.'

Those who work in the insurance field generally are not the strongest in humour. I once was proofreading a proposal from an acquaintance, in that field, who was involved with a programme of education related to liability. He did not understand my hilarity at his recommendation of a "Sexual Misconduct Workshop."

Do any of you find that there are certain words (in your native tongue, or another, though it is funnier when it is the former) that you simply cannot pronounce? I have no speech impediments, yet there are some words that come out wrong - for example, anything with a 'ger' ending, such as (of all things, since it was my profession) 'singer.'

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693

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quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
quote:
Originally posted by Light:
English is not my first language and I'm learning loads from this thread. It seems that I have unknowingly been mixing British and American words and spelling. I don't even want to think about pronunciation... [Help]

Your use of English is fantastic. It is a huge deal better than a lot of written English that I have seen, supposedly written by native speakers.

Thank you! [Hot and Hormonal]
Being on the Ship has really helped me improve my written English.

Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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Light,
If you had not said that English was not your native language, I would not have noticed.
Is that a triple negative??? [Ultra confused]

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Red Star Bethlehem
Shipmate
# 8897

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quote:
German? Simple? With three genders of definite article, and half a dozen cases? Italian, with dozens of incomprehensible idioms? No, give me English, the world language, any day. If it was good enough for Shakespeare and Tyndale...

Yes, pronunciation is a bit erratic. But have you ever tried to pronounce Irish Gaelic? [Eek!]

Well, nono, I did not say German was simple. Just the pronounciation is. After learning a set of max. 10 rules you can read it out aloud without understanding a word of it. Try that in English.

Yep, I tried Scottish Gaelic (it's like Irish really), the spelling of which must be a remnant of God's punishment around the time of the Babel tower. Plus, they tend to pronounce it differently from island to island, from hamlet to hamlet and from bay to bay, which is not bad for a tongue spoken by an enormous 25,000 people.

[Fixed spongy code]

[ 07. January 2005, 18:22: Message edited by: KenWritez ]

Posts: 179 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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A friend sent me this link which I felt belonged on this thread.
Warning: It's a Israeli site, but in English. There are Hebrew characters which might display funny.

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Yrmenlaf
Shipmate
# 8392

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quote:
Originally posted by Hazey Jane:
I guess it depends. If you want the nursery rhyme 'There was a little girl, who had a little curl...' to work then it's got to be 'forrid'. But I think the usual pronunciation is 'forehead'.

Hence (or otherwise) "Puddle" and "Middle" must rhyme, out of deference to the good doctor of Gloucester.

I have a wonderful letter from a piling contractor, in which the word "borehole" has been replaced throughout by the word "brothel". Injudicious use of a spell checker, I fear. So the letter asks me to provide a drawing that shows the location of the brothels around a particular site.

Y.

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Please do not think me foolish because I am flippant. And I will not think you wise if you are grave.

Posts: 107 | From: Durham, England | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Tina
Shipmate
# 63

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(Explanatory note: Barking is a place in Essex.)

Headline seen yesterday: 'Barking armed robber jailed.'

Sadly, a local fried chicken emporium has changed hands and no longer has the signs in its window:

'Student Special Offer: 2 chicken pieces lag or wing with school uniform.'

and my personal favourite:

'Please no dog and bicycle'

[ 08. January 2005, 10:07: Message edited by: Tina ]

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Kindness is mandatory. Anger is necessary. Despair is a terrible idea. Despair is how they win. They won't win forever.

Posts: 503 | From: South London | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Yrmenlaf
Shipmate
# 8392

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Or (since we are getting into headlines)

"British Left Waffles on Falklands"

Y.

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Please do not think me foolish because I am flippant. And I will not think you wise if you are grave.

Posts: 107 | From: Durham, England | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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An unfortunate waste of breakfast foods. [Big Grin]

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510

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Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw

Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pulsator Organorum Ineptus
Shipmate
# 2515

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That rhotic / non-rhotic map is quite misleading as far as the UK is concerned. It shows all of England to be non-rhotic. The northwest and southwest of the country are quite strongly rhotic, and most of the midlands are too - e.g. the residents of Derby call it Darby, not Dahby.

In fact, where I come from (East Lancashire) the letter R is always pronounced very strongly, as in parts of the USA. A story is told of a famous conductor rehearsing a local choral society in a sacred oratorio, and telling them, It's not "Owwer Soles" .. it's "aaaaah soles" and reducing the orchestra to fits of helpless laughter.

Up here, we would never insert an R where there isn't one written (e.g. drawring a picture). That seems to be a London area phenomenon. Basically, the illiterate buggers never pronounce an R where one is written, and make up for it by sticking them in randomly where there isn't one. [Smile]

Of course, sticking an R on the end of the word "draw" means that people then get mixed up between "draw" and "drawer" because they pronounce them the same. I've even seen the word "draw" used on the BBC web site when "drawer" was intended.

Somebody mentioned that around Bristol way they tend to stick L's on the ends of words. Is it true that Bristol was originally Bristow, and got its L by this process?

I have in my possession a book on (Scots) Gaelic. The pronunciations are done "in English" - but it's southern English! Thus where the author wishes to indicate an "uh" sound, she uses "er" ... very confusing to people from round here. To get any idea what the Gaelic word sounds like, you have to read the pronunciation as if you were Jeeves.

Posts: 695 | From: Bronteland | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Eigon
Shipmate
# 4917

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When I was working in an office in Greece, the office manager spoke excellent English apart from one or two little quirks, the best one being that she told me to "use the phone on your backside."
Quite logical, after I'd done the double take - left side, right side, back side.

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Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.

Posts: 3710 | From: Hay-on-Wye, town of books | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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quote:
Originally posted by Yrmenlaf:
I have a wonderful letter from a piling contractor, in which the word "borehole" has been replaced throughout by the word "brothel". Injudicious use of a spell checker, I fear. So the letter asks me to provide a drawing that shows the location of the brothels around a particular site.

[Killing me] great one.

I put this on a new thread, but it sank without trace, so here it is again:

On Jan 2 we had our annual joint service (that's a service with two churches, not a service with joints) with the Baptist church from whom we hire a hall. Worship was led by a man with a strong Caribbean accent (honest, I'm really not being racist here, he was a lovely man, but his accent was strong. It could have been Geordie... [Biased] )

At the beginning of the service I clearly heard him give thanks for being here 'with two toes on fire'. [Eek!] I thought this was odd even in a charismatic congregation. It wasn't till half way through the service that a light bulb came on above my head and I realized that he'd said he was thankful for being here 'in 2005'!

[edited to correct my time travel - I typed 2205 [Hot and Hormonal] ]

[ 09. January 2005, 10:53: Message edited by: Esmeralda ]

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/

Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

Alternately, you could write, "But the stairs beyond are calm and unafraid."

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amorya

Ship's tame galoot
# 2652

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quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
Do any of you find that there are certain words (in your native tongue, or another, though it is funnier when it is the former) that you simply cannot pronounce? I have no speech impediments, yet there are some words that come out wrong - for example, anything with a 'ger' ending, such as (of all things, since it was my profession) 'singer.'

I can't pronounce my own surname...

Gets annoying fast. I tend to just spell it out immediately.


Amorya

Posts: 2383 | From: Coventry | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pendragon

Ship's swordbearer
# 8759

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quote:
I can't pronounce my own surname...
Good job I can, [Snigger] though I have trouble with Amorya-transpose the r and the y

Despite speaking SE/Estuary English I have trouble with some words and a love of hitting my CAPS LOCK key when typing-thank God for the green warning message on my screen

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Not a particuarly GLE

Everything will be OK in the end; if it's not OK it's not the end.
(seen on a fridgemagnet)

Posts: 392 | From: Coventry | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Amorya

Ship's tame galoot
# 2652

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quote:
Originally posted by Pendragon:
quote:
I can't pronounce my own surname...
Good job I can, [Snigger] though I have trouble with Amorya-transpose the r and the y
Yeah - Sophs did that too. Seems to be a common one.

Amoyra [Devil]

Posts: 2383 | From: Coventry | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by Light:
Sir Kevin, I study mostly computer science (datorteknik). I am doing my last exams this week and the next so please wish me luck!
I'm sure you would have been welcome to study here too, there is an architectural course. But the weather in California must be much more pleasant!

(Will stop derailing thread now.)

/tangent/Actually not, lately. Landslides from torrential rainstorms have been shifting houses downhill and cars into the sea and have killed at least two people in the Los Angeles area and closed mjor highways to the north.
/tangent/

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Young fogey
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# 5317

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Sure, things like these examples are either amusing or annoying but they give me plenty of work to do (I'm a newspaper sub-editor) so I can't complain!

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A conservative blog for peace

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Exiled Youth:
The lecture on "discovering micro-organisms and fungis" had, predictably enough, been advertised as "discovering micro-orgasms and fun guys".

I'm not bloody surprised. There is no such word as "fungis". There is "fungus", singular, and "funguses" or "fungi", plural. But no "fungis"

No wonder the poor bugger couldn't figure it out.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Carys

Ship's Celticist
# 78

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This morning Radio 4 informed me that someone had pleaded guilty to `bogus police impersonation'. I thought about this for a moment and decided that it meant that he'd pretended to be a false policeman. I expect better of Radio 4.

Carys

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O Lord, you have searched me and know me
You know when I sit and when I rise

Posts: 6896 | From: Bryste mwy na thebyg | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Matt Black

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# 2210

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Doesn't the whole 'fore-head' vs 'forrid' thing originate with the Beeb in the 1930s and 'Received Pronunciation', 'forrid' being the BBC version and thus deemed 'correct'? It was this same pathology that led my late grandmother to insist that we pronounced 'ate' as 'et'.

Matt

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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'Fore-head', like "Waist-coat", is a spelling pronunciation.

Before widespread literacy, these words were always pronounced "forrid" and "weskit". But once people knew how they were spelt they tended to feel they ought to be pronounced that way.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
MusicMonkey
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# 3396

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A good friend has the admittedly rare but fairly straightforward surname Markwick, which is pronounced, as you might imagine, Mark-wick. Aside from the amusement it served it the days when we called him by this name only, leading many to assume his name was simply Mark Wick, it annoys him intensely that a greater number call him Stephen Marwick.
Posts: 142 | From: North East England | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
PhilA

shipocaster
# 8792

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quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

[Killing me] When I see a "wet paint" sign, I want to write "this is not an instruction" underneath.

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To err is human. To arr takes a pirate.

Posts: 3121 | From: Sofa | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Leetle Masha

Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209

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"Spelling pronunciation" might be helpful in understanding people who speak with the "Philadelphia accent", in which the words our, hour and are are all pronounced the same way: "awr". Words with diphthongs get an extra "y" before the diphthong, as "Hyawse" (house). The newspaper, the Philadelphia Inquirer, is pronounced "Fluffier Inkwire".

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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner

Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Leetle Masha:
"Spelling pronunciation" might be helpful in understanding people who speak with the "Philadelphia accent", in which the words our, hour and are are all pronounced the same way: "awr". Words with diphthongs get an extra "y" before the diphthong, as "Hyawse" (house). The newspaper, the Philadelphia Inquirer, is pronounced "Fluffier Inkwire".

Is this where "egg" consists of three syllables? Or is that further See-yow-erth.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
HopPik
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# 8510

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For years I thought there was a place in South London called Fort Neef. Then my sister moved to Thornton Heath.

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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw

Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
For years I thought there was a place in South London called Fort Neef.

There is! It's story is a little known, and often a strange one, most strange. Fort Neef, by the oasis of Fort Neef Pond, overlooked by the great Cow Idol was besieged by the Neef tribesmen.

A relief column of the Penge Foreign Legion marched over the hills of Sidi-en-Ham and yet arrived too late, to find the fort unfallen but abandoned save by dead men, guarding their posts as in life.

Where was the rest of the garrison?

Little did they knew that the survivors from the garrison of Ford Neef had fled over the Western Commons to the safety of the monastery of St. Reatham...

[ 11. January 2005, 15:22: Message edited by: ken ]

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Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

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KenWritez
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# 3238

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
'Fore-head', like "Waist-coat", is a spelling pronunciation.

Before widespread literacy, these words were always pronounced "forrid" and "weskit".

I knew what a waistcoat was, but I'd always wondered what a "weskit" was!

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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction

My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com

Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
HopPik
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# 8510

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[Smile]

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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw

Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Yrmenlaf
Shipmate
# 8392

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quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
Every time I see a notice saying "This door is alarmed" I want to write underneath "The window looks a bit twitchy too".

There used to be a sign in the library of the Durham University Mathematics Department, which said "Can the last person to leave the library please check that the window is closed"

To which some wag had added "And bounded above"

(a mathematician's joke, I am afraid)

Y.

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Please do not think me foolish because I am flippant. And I will not think you wise if you are grave.

Posts: 107 | From: Durham, England | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Hazey*Jane

Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754

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quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
For years I thought there was a place in South London called Fort Neef.

There is! It's story is a little known, and often a strange one, most strange. Fort Neef, by the oasis of Fort Neef Pond, overlooked by the great Cow Idol was besieged by the Neef tribesmen.

A relief column of the Penge Foreign Legion marched over the hills of Sidi-en-Ham and yet arrived too late, to find the fort unfallen but abandoned save by dead men, guarding their posts as in life.

Where was the rest of the garrison?

Little did they knew that the survivors from the garrison of Ford Neef had fled over the Western Commons to the safety of the monastery of St. Reatham...

[Killing me] Particulary the bit about the 'Penge Foreign Legion' [Smile]
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Amphibalus

Cloak of anonymity
# 5351

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Having been on shore leave for the last five weeks (Christmas, New Year, brother's 50th birthday, the Gwen/Augustus John exhibition at the Tate - all spent in computerless locations [Frown] ), I come back to find a wonderfully amusing thread like this in full flow.

To add to the merriment, can I mention a howler I noticed in a recent film review? The film was described by the reviewer as 'action-pact' - presumably indicating a promise that there would be some.

And speaking of biblical mispronunciations, I remember a very elderly churchwarden, reading a lesson at one of the country parishes I served, urging the congregation 'not to be mizzled' (misled), and another (very pompous) parishioner once pronouncing the name of Jeremiah's secretary as 'Baroosh' (Baruch).

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I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein. (Warren Zevon)

Posts: 1471 | From: Home of Ronnie Radford's boot | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged



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