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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Poking fun at the (linguistically) handicapped
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Gracie
Shipmate
# 3870
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Yes, I'd drop a spaghetto.
If I was in England I think I'd drop a piece of spaghetti. In France, a spaghetti.
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When someone is convinced he’s an Old Testament prophet there’s not a lot you can do with him rationally. - Sine
Posts: 1090 | From: En lieu sûr | Registered: Dec 2002
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angelfish
Shipmate
# 8884
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Posted
The school where my church currently meets is obviously educating the children about different countries. This Sunday, the country was Brazil and there was a collage on the school hall wall with the following phrase (in teacher's handwriting):
"The Brazilian flag is green with a yellow-shaped diamond in the middle"
![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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"As God is my witness, I WILL kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!"
Posts: 1017 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Mrs Badcrumble
Shipmate
# 5839
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Posted
Someone in my work place has a spelling problem,
Apparently we have -
scrap papper
a vacume nossle
and things are sent to det recovery
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Note to self, Religion - Scary...
Posts: 286 | From: Wrexham, North Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by angelfish:
"The Brazilian flag is green with a yellow-shaped diamond in the middle"
How the Dickens can you have a yellow-shaped diamond? Diamonds are blue and yellows are circular.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Amorya
Ship's tame galoot
# 2652
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
quote:
Originally posted by angelfish:
"The Brazilian flag is green with a yellow-shaped diamond in the middle"
How the Dickens can you have a yellow-shaped diamond? Diamonds are blue and yellows are circular.
Well, that's why she had to specify it was yellow-shaped, instead of it being obvious!
Amorya
Posts: 2383 | From: Coventry | Registered: Apr 2002
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angelfish
Shipmate
# 8884
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Posted
Amorya, if as babybear has stated, diamonds are blue and yellows are circular, then a yellow-shaped diamond would be a circular diamond.
How could such a thing exist? My head hurts. ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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"As God is my witness, I WILL kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!"
Posts: 1017 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
I spent five minutes trying to teach a colleague to say 'NEW-clee-are' instead of 'nuke-you-lear'! Wonder what it would take to have Jimmy Carter to give lessons to GWBush?
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by angelfish:
a yellow-shaped diamond would be a circular diamond. How could such a thing exist?
Exactly!
You can get an approximation to a circular diamond by taking a thinking about a cross section of a milk carton. It is not square because the milk inside is pushing the walls out, making the diamond more circular.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
a circular diamond is clearly just a sheared squircle.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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w_houle
Shipmate
# 9045
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Posted
How does one pronounce excelsior or for that matter excelsis. Being the same word I would figure them to be pronounced the same, but I notice that the first being pronounced with a soft c, or like an s. The latter being pronounced with a ch sound. I was under the impression that latin had no soft c's, therefore all c's would be pronounced as k's.
Posts: 128 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by w_houle:
How does one pronounce excelsior or for that matter excelsis.
In Modern Latin, Church Latin, Early Medieval Latin, Classical Latin, or.....?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.
[ 04. February 2005, 09:12: Message edited by: Karl: Liberal Backslider ]
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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stranding
Ship's humble ropemaker
# 9019
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Posted
Being a fervent reader as a child can bring pitfalls later. Sometimes the word you read/hear in your head doesn't match up with any word you come across in speech. I was always puzzled to read "mizzled". It wasn't till I had to read it out in class one day that I learnt the hard way of it's connection with "misled".
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Split plies, not hairs
Posts: 54 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2005
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Yes, as a child I once told someone I was reading a 'tri-ology'. Plus, I wasn't quite sure what cel-I-ba-cy was.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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stranding
Ship's humble ropemaker
# 9019
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Posted
quote:
sheared squircle
Custard, you absolute fiend ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
I'll never ever be able to say that right again...
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Split plies, not hairs
Posts: 54 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.
Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
If I heard correctly, according to a woman on my train, a quick way to make Spaghetti Bolognase is to use a jar of ready made Napoleon sauce! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) I wonder how she makes Beef Wellington...
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Girl with the pearl earring
Apprentice
# 9151
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Posted
I managed to make a provide some unscheduled comedy in the last reading I did at chapel. It was the story of David and Goliath, and I managed to read it as David saving his lamb from the 'lions drawers'. Needless to say, the choir was in stitches! I didn't dare look at them, especially as the guy sitting nearest to the lectern was my boyfriend, and apparently can't keep a straight face when I'm reading at the best of times!
GWTPE x
Posts: 26 | From: Cambridge UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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Anichan
Apprentice
# 9086
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Posted
At a Bible study group, someone had read the relevent passage out loud. Someone else said her translation had different connotations, and so read hers out loud. A third person piped up:
"That is quite different, isn't it? What translation is that, the HIV?"
[ 14. March 2005, 23:46: Message edited by: Anichan ]
Posts: 37 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2005
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
Hoping to prevent future embarrassment for the linguistically handicapped, I learned recently while watching a cooking demonstration that "Puttanesca" sauce for pasta is a sauce that Italian ladies of the evening used to keep simmering on a brazier in their dwellings, so as to have sauce for the pasta they consumed between clients.
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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Margaret
Shipmate
# 283
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Posted
I'd always wondered if "puttanesca" was any relation of the French "putain" - that explains it all! Must be wonderfully restorative stuff
Posts: 2456 | From: West Midlands UK | Registered: May 2001
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HenryT
Canadian Anglican
# 3722
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Posted
My wife was giving a short talk on calligraphy, and afterwards someone wanted to know what a sealed script would be like, since she had mentioned the uncial script, and the person had heard that as unsealed.
A common usage around here is to talk of "unthawing" something - which actually means thawing.
Then there are the Ottawa Valley waitress second person plurals: the singular is "dear", and the plural is "youse". "The cheeseburger, dear?" and "Does youse want anything else?"
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"Perhaps an invincible attachment to the dearest rights of man may, in these refined, enlightened days, be deemed old-fashioned" P. Henry, 1788
Posts: 7231 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2002
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
Ah, Margaret! A fellow philologist! ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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Margaret
Shipmate
# 283
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Posted
Hi, Masha - and a fellow cat-lover too! ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
I wonder if the Ottawa Valley waitresses can trace their ancestry back to Glasgow? "Youse" is the second person plural there too, quite logically, I suppose.
Posts: 2456 | From: West Midlands UK | Registered: May 2001
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HenryT
Canadian Anglican
# 3722
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Margaret:
...I wonder if the Ottawa Valley waitresses can trace their ancestry back to Glasgow? "Youse" is the second person plural there too, quite logically, I suppose.
In quite a few places, actually. It's amusing to be in a place "in the Valley" that has pretentions, a good cook, and a reasonable winelist. They can get the waitress into a long skirt, but they can't get here to stop addressing the customers "youse".
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"Perhaps an invincible attachment to the dearest rights of man may, in these refined, enlightened days, be deemed old-fashioned" P. Henry, 1788
Posts: 7231 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2002
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.
Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?
Ex-sell. Is there another way?
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.
Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?
Ex-sell. Is there another way?
Ex-ell.
Drop the 'c' when speaking (sure that's what you meant though Karl)
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Classical Latin - Ex-Kel-See-Or
Ecclesiastical Latin - Eks-chel-See-Or, or possibly Eggshell-see-or, depending on who you ask.
Ah. And how do you pronounce the name of that well known spreadsheet package, Excel?
Ex-sell. Is there another way?
Ex-ell.
Drop the 'c' when speaking (sure that's what you meant though Karl)
No, call me a Nyissan, but I definitely pronounce it with a double 's'.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Gracious rebel
Rainbow warrior
# 3523
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Posted
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?
Since the 'x' in excel is pronounced 'ks' I would say that the whole word is pronounced 'eksel'. To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!
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Fancy a break beside the sea in Suffolk? Visit my website
Posts: 4413 | From: Suffolk UK | Registered: Nov 2002
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
XL
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!
I remember reading somewhere that the ancient Babylonians had no less than 6 different pronunciations of the letter S. And some modern languages have more than one. You could combine a couple of those if you wanted to pronounce two Ss together, although frankly there are better wayssss of sssspending one'ssss time.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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HenryT
Canadian Anglican
# 3722
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
...I remember reading somewhere that the ancient Babylonians had no less than 6 different pronunciations of the letter S. ..
A quick count of my International Phonetic Alphabet chart gives 105 symbols for distinct sounds. And I can think of at least three English sounds - s, z, sh - all sometimes rendered as an written "s". Plus weirdness like "scion" which to my ear is a different s from "sign". Actually, it's a different "s" - "i" transition, isn';t it?
Calls forth a tongue twister on the "Scion of Zion sighin' at a sign" or something like that.
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"Perhaps an invincible attachment to the dearest rights of man may, in these refined, enlightened days, be deemed old-fashioned" P. Henry, 1788
Posts: 7231 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2002
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Oblatus
Shipmate
# 6278
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
Anybody else have any run-ins with the linguistically handicapped that we can laugh at?
You can laugh at me. At a surprisingly old age, I finally figured out that "misled" was miss-LED and not MY-zl'd. For years I had read the word as the past tense of "to misle," I guess. Funny how I never heard this pronounced that way.
Posts: 3823 | Registered: May 2004
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?
Since the 'x' in excel is pronounced 'ks' I would say that the whole word is pronounced 'eksel'. To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!
Ex-sell instead of Ex-el. There's a difference when I say the two; if anything a glottal stop is required to get the single 's'.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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sparkly_h
Shipmate
# 7997
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Posted
A friend of mine was comforting me during a crisis on our course and told me if I left, the profession would be "depraved" without me.
And we think she's headed for a first
Posts: 158 | From: Chichester | Registered: Jul 2004
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Gracious rebel
Rainbow warrior
# 3523
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?
Since the 'x' in excel is pronounced 'ks' I would say that the whole word is pronounced 'eksel'. To put a double 's' in the sound you would have to have a pause (glottal stop) in the middle of the word, as otherwise it's impossible to sound two 's' sounds together isn't it?!
Ex-sell instead of Ex-el. There's a difference when I say the two; if anything a glottal stop is required to get the single 's'.
I think we may be talking at cross purposes. Do you or do you not agree with my phonetic rendering of 'Eksel'? The crucial thing to me is that an 'x' sound already includes an 's' sound (as well as a 'k' or hard 'c' sound) and this is what make is difficult to add another 's' sound after it.
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Fancy a break beside the sea in Suffolk? Visit my website
Posts: 4413 | From: Suffolk UK | Registered: Nov 2002
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Perhaps it's conceptual, but if I split the word into two syllables, I get Ex-sell, not Ex-el - in other words the first syllable ends in an s and the second starts with one.
It's like the difference between "bookcase" and "backup". Perhaps it's better to call it a "long s" rather than a double s.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Flubb
Shipmate
# 918
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Posted
My sister in law was a few days from giving birth, and had asked me to keep my phone with me at all times in case she needed a lift to the hospital. On the way to Sainsbury's I suddenly realised I hadn't got it with me, so I turned to my argentine girlfriend and said 'I hope Lorraine doesn't go into labour', to which she asked puzzled, 'What, the political party?'.
At which point I almost drove off the road.
Not quite lingustically handicapped, but close enuff ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[ 18. March 2005, 23:07: Message edited by: Flubb ]
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In cyberspace everyone can hear your spleen...
Posts: 234 | From: St. Androos | Registered: Jul 2001
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?...
T'was Captain Kangaroo who taught me how to say "wasps". Dancing around with a glottal stop can't be any harder can it?
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Anichan
Apprentice
# 9086
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Posted
Does apostrophic inconsistency count as a linguistic handicap? I saw a sign today that said:
"TOILETS - Ladies and Gentleman's"
[ 20. March 2005, 17:23: Message edited by: Anichan ]
Posts: 37 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
?? How on earth does one pronounce anything with a double 's' sound ?
<snip>
Consider hiss (the sound a snake makes) with [i]his[i] (the male possessive). It isn't consistent (the double ss in possessive is pronounced as a singular) but that's an example I can think of.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Calindreams
Shipmate
# 9147
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Posted
When my theology lecturer was asking everyone where we came from, one woman said she came from Chester.
The tutor asked 'Is that where they make the draws?'
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Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore
Posts: 665 | From: Birmingham, England | Registered: Mar 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Calindreams:
When my theology lecturer was asking everyone where we came from, one woman said she came from Chester.
The tutor asked 'Is that where they make the draws?'
Can you explain this to a non-Brit?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Amazing Grace*
Shipmate
# 4754
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Calindreams:
When my theology lecturer was asking everyone where we came from, one woman said she came from Chester.
The tutor asked 'Is that where they make the draws?'
Can you explain this to a non-Brit?
"Chest of drawers" (piece of furniture) sounds like "chester draws" in some accents and was apparently taken as such by the tutor.
Charlotte (whose definitely non-British grandmother sounded like that)
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.sig on vacation
Posts: 2594 | From: Sittin' by the dock of the [SF] bay | Registered: Jul 2003
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Calindreams
Shipmate
# 9147
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Posted
Sermon gaffe
'We should all be united in one Holy Orgasm!'
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Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore
Posts: 665 | From: Birmingham, England | Registered: Mar 2005
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
And they meant to say what exactly?!
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Calindreams
Shipmate
# 9147
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Posted
organism
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Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore
Posts: 665 | From: Birmingham, England | Registered: Mar 2005
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
That's a bit overly scientific isn't it? Whatever was wrong with 'the Church as the Body of Christ'
Still, reminds me of that out-take from Blockbusters when the team is asked 'What O is the name for an animal, plant or other living entity...' and this student buzzes in with a slightly wrong answer! Poor bloke - he's probably in his 30s by now and horribly embarrased every time it turns up on 'It'll be alright on the night'
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
Watching Cheltenham last week made me remember this one.
My grandmother (long deceased, god bless her) used to love watching the horse racing on TV in the afternoons. One day we were watching it together and the commentator was describing the horses "this one's a mare .... this one's a gelding ...." and she turned to me and said "a gelding, that's when they castrate a horse, isn't it? How do they do that? Do they just cut off the tentacles?"
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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