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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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Anna B
Shipmate
# 1439
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Posted
Speaking of which, everybody should run right out and buy the new little book Punch by Colleen Mullaney. Just the thing for these dog days.
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Bad Christian (TM)
Posts: 3069 | From: near a lot of fish | Registered: Oct 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
Ken,
In re. your b.i.l., cook some of the stuffing in the cavity of the turkey and make sure the internal temperature doesn't rise above 160F.
Then prepare some stuffing for the rest of your family and cook it in the oven.
Give your b.i.l. the cavity stuffing and feed the rest of the family the properly cooked stuff.
After your b.i.l. gets out of the hospital and asks you, "Why'd you do it that way?" be honest and reply, "To poison you."
Then, if he doesn't get the message, the next time they come to eat, give him steak tartare or sushi or something else that looks like bait, only let it reach room temperature.
He'll get the message eventually.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
a) "What's done is done. No point talking about it now." Shift conversation to other matters.
b) Start now. Call brother at times you know are inconvenient for him to ask his advice, since he obviously has strong opinions about the proper way to do things and you're not that picky. Whenever possible, suggest that (since you are obviously incompetent at home improvements) he should pop by to do it for you. Repeatedly call to remind him that you really do need to get this done, so he should be planning a trip to your area soon. Whine. Escalate to calling him for advice about mundane matters, such as what to cook for lunch and how best to cook it. Don't do anything about anything you've asked him to do for you and he hasn't done. When he visits, remind him that you thought he was going to take care of all that and hand him a tool box.
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"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
Thanksgiving approaches
You need to learn to live in the present, Buckwheat, and not go borrowing trouble. Your brother could get run over by a bus on Labor Day. So could you. And then where was all that worry?
quote:
the Sturdy Wench and I will be having my family up for the day to our newly remodeled house.
Ah! The sin of pride has got you into trouble. You just had to have the family over to show off the palazzo, huh? Serves you right.
quote:
One of my brothers is a nit-picker.
I am tempted to rudely tell him where he can insert his "helpful advice" if he trots it out, but what would you suggest for a more socially acceptable form of dealing with this?
In a mild tone of voice you say "You could be right" and go on about your business.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Ooh, Ken, that's a good one! Will drive the guy nuts! ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I’m sorry to ask for help once again, but this one has me stumped. And for once, it isn’t a problem with Mrs Eliab.
One of my very oldest friends has been living with his girlfriend for several years. Recently, they have started sharing their home with another female house-mate. In fact, she is the third member of what is a polyamorous triplet. My friend has told others about the true nature of the relationship only when absolutely necessary and in the very strictest confidence. So naturally it has become common knowledge.
The problem is, I haven’t officially been told, so I have maintained the polite fiction that the two ladies are one girlfriend and one housemate and nothing more.
In the next two months or so, the House of Eliab is celebrating the baptism of my son and nephew (nb. that is, my son and my nephew, being two distinct babies, not just one baby meriting both labels, which would be incestuous). I’m inviting my friends and family to celebrate with me. Obviously it is only polite to invite partners as well, and I’d certainly invite Girlfriend A because I am friends with her as well as her boyfriend. I wouldn’t ordinarily extend an invitation to this sort of family event to people who merely happen to share a house with friends of mine, and I do not know Girlfriend B well enough that she would expect any invitation from me in her own right. But I would certainly invite her if she was my friend’s only romantic attachment.
So is it polite to continue to pretend she is just a housemate and invite only my friend and Girlfriend A? Will it look like a snub to Girlfriend B? Will it look judgemental? Or would it be rude to invite her when ‘officially’ I don’t know about the relationship?
And in general terms, what is the modern etiquette for dealing with friends in polyamorous relationships? Is any stable co-habiting group entitled to be treated as a ‘couple’? Does ‘Mr Solomon and partner’ on an invitation mean just the one partner? And if so, is it polite for the inviter to specify which partner (to avoid putting additional strain on what must be a difficult set of household affairs to manage), or should the guest be put to election as to which of his partners to bring?
I’m sure there are rules about this sort of thing. I just can’t bring myself to Google for them. The thought of what sort of websites I’d turn up…
Sine, please help,
Eliab
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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"
Richard Dawkins
Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
What a delightful question! Socially people are either engaged, married, or single. Your friend Studly and Girlfriend A can be considered "engaged" since they have been living together several years. You are correct that Girlfriend B socially is a "roommate" since only a cad would be engaged to two girls at the same time.
That you haven’t been officially told is not "the problem". It’s a blessing. You invite Studly and Girlfriend A. Period. Now, if when you issue this invitation Studly would care to explain the exact nature of his domestic relationships, you get to say "How very interesting. I shall look forward to getting acquainted with her, but of course this is a baptism, not a cocktail party. We’re just having family and close friends naturally."
Now as to general rules, there really aren’t social rules regarding what unmarried people do in the bedroom. Partners in a ménage à trois don’t exist as a social unit. Indeed considering how much trouble just a two person couple can create when they get liquored up, one shudders to think about the scenes possible for a threesome.
Obviously since Studly is a close friend of yours you’ve got some hard decisions to make. I think you need to talk to him and find out what his expectations are. Then you need to take those expectations back to your wife and find out how she feels about them. Then abide by her decision. It’s quite possible you may have to start meeting your friend, just the two of you, for lunch or a drink.
When people make unconventional life-style choices they cannot expect others to necessarily cater to them. As you said, this is an inherently unstable relationship. It could implode at any time. You don’t want to be caught in the middle.
OK, those are my thoughts. I’ll now throw it open to the Panel of Experts. Anybody got any better ideas?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
Sine,
How could anyone improve on that perfect peice of advice ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Have you ever considered a career in the diplomatic service?
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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Ginga
Ship's lurker
# 1899
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Posted
How poly is it? Are the two ladies involved at all, or is it just him that's having all the fun? If it's triangular, you could invite him and partner, and then also invite Girlfriend A and partner, leaving her free to bring along Girlfriend B should she wish (following explanations because it's a secret, of course).
Posts: 1075 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Sound social advice, as always, Sine. But since you asked for outside opinions, this particular part of your answer struck me:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Obviously since Studly is a close friend of yours you’ve got some hard decisions to make. I think you need to talk to him and find out what his expectations are. Then you need to take those expectations back to your wife and find out how she feels about them. Then abide by her decision.
You're assuming, Sine, that Mrs E is responsible for maintaining the Eliab social connections.
Whichever partner (Eliab or Mrs Eliab) takes that responsibility (or at least the deciding vote if the responsiblity is shared) needs to decide *before* the baptism just how this menage a trois is going to fit into the E-household's social sphere. Now (in response to the baptism situation) is the time to let the menage a trois know just how the Eliabs intend to deal with them socially: Mano a mano only, pseudo-engaged couple plus or minus "friend", or whatever variation the Eliabs are comfortable with.
The fact the Eliab "officially" doesn't know about the menage a trois only increases the options, but since it seems to be public knowledge, leaves the Eliabs free to arbitrarily (think *noblesse oblige*) and suddenly pretend that they had known and accepted the situation all along.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Presleyterian
Shipmate
# 1915
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Posted
Dear Sine:
I would appreciate your advice on how I can cultivate interesting and colorful friends like Eliab has.
Thanking you in advance for your cooperation in this regard.
Posts: 2450 | From: US | Registered: Dec 2001
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
Dear Sine:
My cousin is marrying a lovely girl soon, in a traditional Lapsed-Roman-Catholic-Used-to-Be-Slavic-Baptist ceremony at the local Masonic Temple Hall. This is cousin 8 of 12 (I'm 4 of 12, yes, we use those designations, no, I'm not Borg on my father's side), and he is not the first one to get married. I didn't get presents for any of my other cousins who got married, but my mother has decreed I should buy him something, since I'm traveling a thousand miles for the wedding. She says it's tacky to show up empty-handed. I said I don't have a steady job and my rent due. She shrugged and gave me the gift registry. They have been living together for a year and own a house, and it's got better furnishing than my own (and I'm not just grumpy because they have a brand new California King sleigh bed and I am sleeping on an air mattress on the floor). Everything they're asking for is hideously expensive and, in my mind, useless (I kid you not, a grandfather clock is on the list).
Is it truly tacky to show up empty-handed? If so, are there any suggestions for gifts more in my price range?
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
Oooh! Oooh! Me! Me! (My best Horshack impersonation, I'm afraid.)
Spiffy, I think it would be nice and appropriate for you to take a gift, but it doesn't have to be expensive, and it doesn't have to be from the registry.
IMHO (and I defer to Dear Sine, of course), I think a picture frame is the perfect compromise. I would get something classic and tasteful, maybe glass or oak or silver, and in a size appropriate for the style (5x7 for more formal, 4x6 for a casual "photograph" style). Don't get one any larger than 5x7, though. You should be able to get a nice one for well under $20.00. Many department stores and home decor places run 50% off sales regularly on frames.
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Josephine
Orthodox Belle
# 3899
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Posted
What about something "meaningful"? An icon of the Marriage at Cana perhaps? Or maybe a book such as Marriage and Family Life by St. John Chrysostom, or Marriage as a Path to Holiness by David and Mary Ford?
Or make up something meaningful -- make a little basket, with a jar of honey that their life together may be sweet, a candle that they may always be enlightened by their love for one another, that sort of thing. Write a sappy little guide to what's in the basket.
That shouldn't break your budget, and it would have the added benefit that anyone who dared criticize your choice of gift would risk appearing mercenary and crass.
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I've written a book! Catherine's Pascha: A celebration of Easter in the Orthodox Church. It's a lovely book for children. Take a look!
Posts: 10273 | From: Pacific Northwest, USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Dear Sine
In our lunch room at work today, the woman sitting next to me (whom I know very well, having worked with her for some years now) farted. Just like that. While I was eating my sushi, she gave the slightest little grunt, leaned forward and let out a blurt.
I was lost for words. I pretended I had heard nothing and she just went right on doing what she'd been doing pre-fart.
Should I have said something?
LATA
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
I would have burst out laughing, pointed at her and exclaimed loudly, "Your voice has changed, but your breath STILL SMELLS THE SAME!" [slaps table, rattling silverware]
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
I was taught that all signs of intestinal distress short of requiring immediate medical aid should be completely ignored by both parties; apologising is as much of a faux pas as laughing and pointing.
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Presleyterian:
Dear Sine:
I would appreciate your advice on how I can cultivate interesting and colorful friends like Eliab has.
Place an ad in The Village Voice.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep:
My cousin is marrying a lovely girl...
...my mother has decreed I should buy him something, since I'm traveling a thousand miles for the wedding. She says it's tacky to show up empty-handed...
...(and I'm not just grumpy because they have a brand new California King sleigh bed)...
Is it truly tacky to show up empty-handed? If so, are there any suggestions for gifts more in my price range?
First of all, there is nothing tackier than a California King sleigh bed. So they've beat you hands down there and have lost all right to any consideration from others. They are obviously trailer trash with a credit card and I don't know why you're even bothering to attend the ceremony.
Moving right along, "your mother has decreed", has she? Still in the midst of the mother/daughter power struggle are we, Spiffy? What else can she find to make you feel "less than" at this supposedly happy family occasion? Has she criticized your outfit yet? Maybe you can distract her with that to get her mind off the gift issue.
But as to your real question "Is is tacky to show up empty-handed": No, it is not. Presents are never obligatory. It's a religious ceremony, not a shake-down. (What is really, really, really tacky, however, and one of Sine's pet peeves, is people who bring gifts to the wedding reception itself rather than having them delivered before or after, but that's another story.)
All of that said, now that your mother has planted the seed of doubt in you mind (Probably along with a lifetime of seeds. You must have quite a garden of doubt by now.) you're not going to feel right showing up empty-handed. I refer you to Grits' and Josephine's excellent suggestions. Don't spend more than 25 bucks. You certainly don't have to get anything off their list. If your mother insists, give her your 25 bucks and tell her you'll go in with her on a gift. That should shut her up.
p.s.: Sometimes I'm glad my mother is dead.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
In our lunch room at work today, the woman sitting next to me...farted.
I was lost for words. I pretended I had heard nothing and she just went right on doing what she'd been doing pre-fart.
Should I have said something?
What Ann said. Although the really remarkable part of the story is that you were at a loss for words.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote:
Good advice from josephine, followed by:
That shouldn't break your budget, and it would have the added benefit that anyone who dared criticize your choice of gift would risk appearing mercenary and crass.
You know, that's the thing about Southern Magnolias™, They appear to be so refined, gentile, delicate and fragile, just before they hit you with the zinger.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719
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Posted
Sine, "sign" or "See-nay".
I've always said the first, but thinking about it, it should be the second, shouldn't it.
Just checking. We comprehensive schoolers didn't get Latin...
Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ferijen:
Just checking. We comprehensive schoolers didn't get Latin...
Speak for yourself, I got Latin at my comprehensive. All the way to Higher.
I've always pronounced in "Si-nay" (in my head, obviously).
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
But as to your real question "Is is tacky to show up empty-handed": No, it is not. Presents are never obligatory.
Not to weddings; presents, however, are officially obligatory at children's birthday parties and showers.
[damn prepositions]
[ 11. August 2005, 15:24: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
But as to your real question "Is it tacky to show up empty-handed": No, it is not. Presents are never obligatory.
Not to weddings; presents, however, are officially obligatory at children's birthday parties and showers.
True. But you can guess how many children's birthday parties and showers I attend. Besides, showers aren't parties any more than Tupperware "parties" are parties. They're shakedowns.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ferijen:
Sine, "sign" or "See-nay".
I've always said the first, but thinking about it, it should be the second, shouldn't it.
Just checking. We comprehensive schoolers didn't get Latin...
"See-nay" or more colloquially "Sinny". Although my close friends call me "Butch". But you probably don't want to get that close.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
quote:
p.s.: Sometimes I'm glad my mother is dead.
I may be taking this to the "Confess here" thread, by saying sometimes I WISH my mother was dead (not really -- only deathly compliant, I suppose). That'd throw a bucket of water on the proceedings, I dare say.
I, too, find it curious that the usually ebullient LatA had nothing to say in response to her workmate's gastric distress. Perhaps there really is truth to the bipolar rumor about her.
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Moving right along, "your mother has decreed", has she? Still in the midst of the mother/daughter power struggle are we, Spiffy? What else can she find to make you feel "less than" at this supposedly happy family occasion? Has she criticized your outfit yet?
She bought me an outfit to wear. Three sizes too big (which is impressive, given I'm already a big girl) and about as shapely as a potato sack. Needless to say, I'm not going to wear it.
Ah, the joys of coming from a matriarchial family and refusing to have daughters to perpetuate the cycle.
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
p.s.: Sometimes I'm glad my mother is dead.
Ah yes. I know the feeling. Mine has been gone since 1973, though her ghost is still with me, and we converse frequently.
She always initiates the conversation with, "OH MY GOD!" as in, "OH MY GOD, you haven't written that thank-you note yet?" Or "OH MY GOD, didn't I teach you how to sort laundry?"
Which raises a question, Sign. How does one exorcise the ghost of one's mother?
[ 11. August 2005, 19:22: Message edited by: tomb ]
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
quote:
Which raises a question, Sign. How does one exorcise the ghost of one's mother?
Frontal lobotomy.
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
Which raises a question, Sign. How does one exorcise the ghost of one's mother?
If the Osage medicine man failed, I'm sure I wouldn't know how.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
In our lunch room at work today, the woman sitting next to me...farted.
I was lost for words. I pretended I had heard nothing and she just went right on doing what she'd been doing pre-fart.
Should I have said something?
What Ann said. Although the really remarkable part of the story is that you were at a loss for words.
Ha Ha. Actually, I am very shy in mentioning farty matters, but I wouldn't expect you to understand.
I need more information. What if, as a result of me saying nothing, this woman now thinks "Oh, good, I can just fart around LATA any old time", and just blurts away on a regular basis while I'm eating? Yesterday's fart was not smelly, but if she drops a real stinker, am I entitled to say something? If so, what?
Sushi is expensive. I don't want to be vomiting it back because I share a lunch room with a woman with loose bowels.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
I was taught that all signs of intestinal distress short of requiring immediate medical aid should be completely ignored by both parties; apologising is as much of a faux pas as laughing and pointing.
Oh, yes. One must maintain appearances by all means. Never let it be said that gaseous emissions at the dinner table, when helped along by a lifted cheek and grunt, are rude and anti-social.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
What if, as a result of me saying nothing, this woman now thinks "Oh, good, I can just fart around LATA any old time", and just blurts away on a regular basis while I'm eating? Yesterday's fart was not smelly, but if she drops a real stinker, am I entitled to say something? If so, what?
Sushi is expensive. I don't want to be vomiting it back because I share a lunch room with a woman with loose bowels.
You want me to give you permission to be rude, don't you? I assume this is a public lunch-room, open to all employees. Do you feel that your wishes are so important you're entitled to drive a fellow employee from the room, probably in tears, for your convenience? When I put this together with your admitted penchant for abusing nuns in grocery stores the picture isn't pretty.
If you have such a horror of the bodily functions of others, have you considered eating lunch at your desk while firing off angry emails or letters to those multitudes who annoy you? And if the cost of sushi worries you, you might try peanut-butter & jelly sandwiches. One would hate for the children to miss college because mother squandered their tuition on lunches she couldn't really afford.
However...I will allow you one out. If your co-worker does in the future cut a really smelly big one, I'm sure a woman of your theatrical ability can faint dead away in a convincing manner. That should do it. You'll get the point across without having blatantly hurt the woman's feelings. Plus you'll give the appearance of great delicacy and breeding. Try to clutch your pearls as you fall.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
And, if you're afraid of hurting yourself in the fall, simply grasp your pearls (or something) and swoon big-time, dropping your head delicately on the table in front of you. (Watch out for the sushi.)
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Thank you Sine, and Grits.
I must add, in complete honesty and without fibbing at all, that this woman is ... an ex nun. I kid you not.
Maybe she heard about my stalking the grey nun in Woolies and deliberately did it to warn me off.
I will, henceforth, be nice to nuns.
[ 12. August 2005, 00:01: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
Which raises a question, Sign. How does one exorcise the ghost of one's mother?
Count your blessings if you only have the ghost of your mother. In addition to my German-Scots mother, twenty-odd years ago I inherited an Old Yankee Housewife ghost with my house. It's still an act of major willpower to throw away the last sliver of the bar of soap, and it isn't my mother's voice in my head!
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
I was taught that all signs of intestinal distress short of requiring immediate medical aid should be completely ignored by both parties;
Oh, yes. One must maintain appearances by all means. Never let it be said that gaseous emissions at the dinner table, when helped along by a lifted cheek and grunt, are rude and anti-social.
Ann is right, other people's bad manners don't excuse our own.
In most cases farting at the table will be by accident and terribly embarassing to the farter. It should be ignored, rather than compounding their embarrassment by drawing attention to it.
Somebody doing what you describe, on the other hand, is obviously doing it on purpose and already knows it is revolting, rude and anti-social. They want a reaction. Don't give them one.
(The exception might be if the farter was a child whose training you were responsible for)
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Somebody doing what you describe, on the other hand, is obviously doing it on purpose and already knows it is revolting, rude and anti-social.
Or an old lady. Old ladies can get away with it.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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splosh
Shipmate
# 2743
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I have been invited to an ex-boyfriend's wedding. Having not seen or spoken to ex for over a year, I am uncertain to whether to go, and if I do what to take as a gift.
please enlighten me
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Just remember you are one of God's special people
Posts: 1371 | From: Slightly less north than before | Registered: May 2002
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by splosh:
I have been invited to an ex-boyfriend's wedding. Having not seen or spoken to ex for over a year, I am uncertain to whether to go, and if I do what to take as a gift.
It all depends whether you are better or worse looking now than when you went out with him, and whether or not you have or can scrape up a partner, preferably one who is better looking than the ex.
If the answer to both those is yes, I'd go. Weddings have free food and people buy you drinks. These are good things.
If you've put on lots of weight, or had an unfortunate haircut, or broken out in bad skin, or if you'd be going on your own, then don't. Being all grown-up and mature and over him (and I'm sure you are all three) is all very well, but it's not worth it. After a few glasses of wine maturity goes out the window and you'll either slide into a pit of despair or get off with someone totally unsuitable.
Only go if you can be sure of remaining convincingly smug all evening.
That is my advice. Sine's will be much better.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
If you were "engaged" to the guy who's getting married to someone else and has in spite of that invited you to the wedding, you could always regret thusly:
Miss Splosh regrets exceedingly
That due to a previous engagement,
She is unable to accept the kind invitation of....
Best wishes,
Leetle M.
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
If the Osage medicine man failed, I'm sure I wouldn't know how.
Thank you, sir! I never would have thought of calling my cousin in Okmulgee.
quote:
Originally posted by JLG
Count your blessings if you only have the ghost of your mother. In addition to my German-Scots mother, twenty-odd years ago I inherited an Old Yankee Housewife ghost with my house. It's still an act of major willpower to throw away the last sliver of the bar of soap, and it isn't my mother's voice in my head!
Oh, for heaven's sake, Jennifer. This is about Issues, not Poltergeist. Try stripping the wallpaper in the bathroom. That's where they usually hide. If that doesn't help, at least you've managed to Redecorate.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
You've never grappled with an Old Yankee Housewife, living or dead, have you, tomb. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
Strip the wallpaper in the bathroom. *snort*
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
"Grappled?"
You make it sound so dirty.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
I should be so lucky.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by splosh:
Dear Sine,
I have been invited to an ex-boyfriend's wedding. Having not seen or spoken to ex for over a year, I am uncertain to whether to go, and if I do what to take as a gift.
please enlighten me
While women will invite ex-boyfriends to their weddings without ulterior motives it is an odd fact that no man ever invites an ex-girlfriend to his wedding just to be nice, especially one he hasn't seen or spoken to for over a year. You'd think it would be the other way round, but it's not. So you already know he's up to no good and certainly doesn't have your best interests at heart.
And there's a part of you that really, really wants to go, isn't there, Splosh? Wants to see if the groom looks tired and unhappy. Wants to check out the bride. Is she better or worse looking than you are? Pick out any flaws that might make you Ex miserable. Does she bray like a donkey when she laughs? The bustle on her gown that can't hide her fat ass. Her mother looks to be a virago who will be the mother-in-law from Hell. You certainly don't want to go to feel the love, as it were.
The thoughts we think about others always come back to us, for good or ill. It's a cosmic law. I personally would advise you not to put yourself in a situation where you will be thinking thoughts and having emotions that will ultimately be self-harming.
But that's a man's advice. For a woman's advice, see Rat's post. I bet you won't be able to resist. So if you do break down and go, give them a pair of lovely linen tea towels. Possibly with a picture of Charles and Diana on them.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
splosh: Rat and Sine speak the Truth.
The bottom line of all social situations is to feel the liberating sensation of superiority: emotional, physical, relational, existential, whatever. If you can't enter the situation secure in your particular sense of superiority, and you have any say in the matter, then don't go.
On the other hand, if you've gotten over feeling vulnerable, you'll be free to be learn the skills needed to be an old lady who farts on purpose just to enjoy watching the distress of her visitors nervous about observing the proprieties.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Niënna
Ship's Lotus Blossom
# 4652
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Posted
Dear Sine,
So, a friend of mine who lives on the opposite side of the coast sent me some sermon tapes (5 tapes, two hours each). I'm not really a sermon-y-type of person. I started listening but I have kind of a short attention span so its hard for me... Anyways, I know she'll want some feedback and she is really a good friend even if we have different tastes on receiving information... So, my question is what do I do? I really don't like sermons all that much or maybe its the style of the first sermon that I listened to. But I want her to know that I appreciated her sending it from such a far distance...
...so what do I do when she asks me, "How did you like them?"
sincerely,
Joyfulsoul
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[Nino points a gun at Chiki]
Nino: Now... tell me. Who started the war?
Chiki: [long pause] We did.
~No Man's Land
Posts: 2298 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Jun 2003
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyfulsoul:
what do I do when she asks me, "How did you like them?"
Don't wait for her to ask. Be proactive. Call her right now and thank her effusively. Then say "Which ones do you recommended I listen to first?" Then you only have to listen to, say, two of them, just in case she asks again later.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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