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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
Left at the Altar

Ship's Siren
# 5077

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I had the problem at my wedding of being forced to invite the husband of a friend from school, knowing that everyone loathes him within minutes of first meeting him.

I wanted desperately to invite just my friend. Then I had to work out where to sit them. Predictably, I received reports back from everyone else on their table about what a horrible person he was.

I wonder if Sine can advise how not to invite someone gracefully. Not that I plan to marry again.

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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.

Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Would it be a sin to move some teaspoons from the Pacific Cloth drawer to the caddy on the kitchen countertop?

If it were sterling I'd say move away. Sterling is immortal. I'm working off a set from the 1890s that's in fine shape and I could use it every day if I wanted to. The only reason I don't is that it really should be hand-washed and I don't want to do that. The same is true of your plate, but more so. The dishwasher will remove the plating over time.
The only dishwasher in this house is me. I'm off to raid the breakfront!

quote:
Your good china and silver may have sentimental value for your kids down the road, especially if you use for important family occasions and they associate with their childhood and happy family memories.
My kids are already pretty much grown and have no memories of this china and silver whatsoever.

quote:
Or possibly just something to fight over when you're gone. Don't deprive them of that pleasure. That can be a family tradition of a sort too.
Can't argue with this. I doubt it will be the china or silver, but even my and my husband's pretty calm and rational Teutonic and Scandinavian families managed a certain amount of sniping and emotional angst over the dispersion of the family heirlooms. Hubby and I only have two kids, and they're very different personalities and tastes, and probably won't want much of anything. But I have no doubt that something will become a point of mutual lust and never-quite-fully-forgiven nasty words.

[fixed code]

[ 26. August 2005, 23:43: Message edited by: jlg ]

Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Telepath
Ship's Steamer Trunk
# 3534

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I agree that it would be mortifying to show up at a wedding without a date.

After all, when you're dressed up to the nines, looking your absolute best, and about to mingle in a romantic setting with a bunch of strangers many of whom will also be single and in the same age group as you, the last thing you want to do is appear to be single yourself. You're not going to stay single for long that way, are you? [Snigger]

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Take emptiness and lying speech far from me, and do not give me poverty or wealth. Give me a living sufficient for me.

Posts: 3509 | From: East Anglia | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
MadKaren
Shipmate
# 1033

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Thinking about dinner etiquette...

When people come over for dinner, the only thing I need from them is a list of likes, dislikes and allergies. Easy enough. (It best be said that formal dinners don't happen in my place at the moment.) So sometimes when I am in the kitchen cooking away and the LittleGreenAlien is talking to people, guests wander in and ask if there is anything they can do to help.

I can juggle cooking absolutely fine. I can juggle cooking and talking to people as well. I don't need help with the cooking. However, I would appreciate very much help with the washing up afterwards.

So, how does one deal with this. I'm not sure it's polite to ask them to wash up later, but why do people ask if they can help if they don't mean it?

MadKaren

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--
Why do people who claim to love God embarrass him in public?

Posts: 866 | From: Jumping along the line between genius and insanity.... | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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quote:
Originally posted by MadKaren:
So, how does one deal with this. I'm not sure it's polite to ask them to wash up later, but why do people ask if they can help if they don't mean it?

I think most people do mean it. They just don't expect to be given a very onerous task in return for their offer. "Could you pour the water, please?" as opposed to "Could you gut and pluck this chicken?"

Besides, all day long people who don't really much care ask me "How are you?"* One can't be too literal about these things.

(*The only correct answer to which is "Fine. And yourself?" Unless it's somebody who knows what you look like naked. Doctor, mother, spouse...)

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Arabella Purity Winterbottom

Trumpeting hope
# 3434

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It wouldn't worry two hoots not to be invited to the wedding of one of Rosie's colleagues - first of all, I don't know any of them, secondly, they all talk to each other and on the odd occasion I have gone to something, I've ended up feeling like the afternoon would have been better spent gardening. If I do know them, then I would definitely go.

As I said originally, our CU isn't a big formal thing. We are not exactly flush with money, and at the current count there are 120 people coming. Parters would add another 40 people with consequent expense. It is only our colleagues that we have done this with - they all know each other, and they know us. I guess I feel that if they can't do without their partner for 90 minutes then that's a bit sad.

We want people we know to be there. And to be fair not one person has queried it - most of them are excited to be coming to their first CU. Our receptionist at work, Mrs Suburban Housewife personified (and one of my best work friends) told a meeting of her son's hockey team that she couldn't make a game because she was attending a civil union - apparently the rest of the parents stared at her, dumbstruck. She thought she would use the line again, should one particular chap start talking again.

Posts: 3702 | From: Aotearoa, New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
MadKaren
Shipmate
# 1033

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
I think most people do mean it. They just don't expect to be given a very onerous task in return for their offer. "Could you pour the water, please?" as opposed to "Could you gut and pluck this chicken?"

Ahhh. So they want to do something small and simple - or they want an excuse to hang out in the kitchen and chat. [Biased]

MadKaren

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--
Why do people who claim to love God embarrass him in public?

Posts: 866 | From: Jumping along the line between genius and insanity.... | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Besides, all day long people who don't really much care ask me "How are you?"* One can't be too literal about these things.

(*The only correct answer to which is "Fine. And yourself?" Unless it's somebody who knows what you look like naked. Doctor, mother, spouse...)

On the other hand, there is something to be said for being the local curmugeon. To the question of, "How are you?" I have been known to respond, "Not too good, thanks. How are you?" Curiously, very few seem to notice.* Those who do notice, usually people who are aware of my chronic medical situation, know that I am being bluntly honest."

*Unless, of course, they are being too polite to show it.

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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jlg, if you do start using your silver everyday, there is one thing you need to know.

Contact with egg yolk tarnishes silver very badly. Can you train your menage to use stainless steel for eggs?

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.

Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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Dear Sine,

A group of folks from my church gets together about every month or so for dinner at a restaurant. This social event is always coordinated by the same person, who has this month chosen a restaurant that I think is just too expensive. The food is by all accounts worth what they're charging, and one meal there would not put me in the poorhouse, but this is just not how I want to spend that much of my discretionary income this month. I can't control what I spend by ordering the least expensive thing on the menu, as this group has an established pattern of dividing the bill equally.

When I let the organizer know that I would not be coming, I gave the reason why instead of just saying I couldn't make it, as the restaurants she chooses have been getting more and more upscale, and she's getting close to pricing me right out of the group altogether. Was it rude of me to say I wouldn't be in attendance because of the prices at the restaurant? Is there a better way to handle something like this?

Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251

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On Sundays I tend to go to lunch with Madame la Directrice, his assistant the Ancilla Dominae and the Chief Whipper-in (Priests and Servers) with a free floating cast of Others, including the Young Hierophant, Her Holiness, Digsya and on occasions the Mater Amorosa and her daughter the Saveloy.

This is a wide range of incomes. Madame's mantra for lunch is "Cheap, plenteous and good". In Sydney this means Chinese, Indonesian or Lebanese. The trick is to find one full of Chinese, Indonesians or Lebanese respectively, all piling into the food. We have. The net result is we end the meal with Madame pronouncing himself to be "thoroughly satisfied" and a bill of about US$9.00 to US$13.50 per head.

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2^8, eight bits to a byte

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maleveque
Shipmate
# 132

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Dear Sine,
This is not so much a question as an appeal for commiseration in the ongoing Bridezilla Wars. As I am not directly affected by this particular Bridezilla (just a neighbor), I merely offer this as more anecdotal evidence of The End of Western Civilization.
Young Couple, cohabiting for several years, finally get married. They already own a house and have most household items they want (although they seem to acquire new appliances at a fairly brisk pace). Because it is tacky to ask for cash, Young Couple registers at C**** & B*****. Why? Because Bridezilla has determined that C**** & B***** will give you cash when you return gifts, unlike some other stores that will only give store credit. So all gifts were returned and cash acquired. Young Husband goes along with all this rather meekly. I suspect he comes from a slightly lower tax bracket than his Bride's family, and thinks maybe this is How Things Are Done. The excuse was that people insisted on giving them gifts, so this was the best way to let them do so.
Goodness knows what will happen when Aunt Mary comes to visit and asks, "why don't we use that automatic carrot slicer I gave you as a wedding gift?"
I ask you, whatever happened to simply registering your china and silver patterns?
Anne L.

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Life isn't all fricasseed frogs and eel pie.

Posts: 1496 | From: Washington, DC or thereabouts | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Telepath
Ship's Steamer Trunk
# 3534

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The interesting thing here is that Bridezilla is not tacky (at least not socially) because she did this, but because you know she did this.

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Take emptiness and lying speech far from me, and do not give me poverty or wealth. Give me a living sufficient for me.

Posts: 3509 | From: East Anglia | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
When I let the organizer know that I would not be coming, I gave the reason why instead of just saying I couldn't make it, as the restaurants she chooses have been getting more and more upscale, and she's getting close to pricing me right out of the group altogether. Was it rude of me to say I wouldn't be in attendance because of the prices at the restaurant? Is there a better way to handle something like this?

I'm quite sure someone of your diplomatic skills said what you had to say in the pleasantest way possible. So no, it wasn't rude. It was Valuable Feedback.

It pays to be honest and upfront regarding group outings of this sort. I frequently go to dinner with a group to the same restaurant on the same night. Turns out one guy really, really didn't care for this restaurant but for the longest time was reluctant to say anything. Just kept not showing up which was starting to give the rest of us a complex. He finally told us what the problem was, and now we alternate between the first restaurant and another that he likes which is also acceptable to the rest of the group.

People of good will can work most anything out. That pretty much applies to the Middle East or picking a restaurant. However if your organizer lady is really into control or has other issues such as one frequently finds in church go-getter types, you could be screwed.

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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Thanks, Sine. I never know when it's okay to talk about money.

quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
However if your organizer lady is really into control or has other issues such as one frequently finds in church go-getter types, you could be screwed.

Did I mention that she likes to order for the whole table? Or that everything is all about her? I told her once that an old boyfriend had recently emailed me a photo of his newborn daughter, and somehow that was all about her divorce. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer the second time, that turned out actually to be about her mother. Silly me, thinking it was about mine.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
Did I mention that she likes to order for the whole table?

Does she realize that makes her the hostess, entertaining her friends in a restaurant rather than privately at home? In which case she should pick up the check too.

Perhaps next time she does that you should say "Oh no, my dear. Just the house salad for me since you're paying."

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maleveque
Shipmate
# 132

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quote:
Originally posted by Telepath:
The interesting thing here is that Bridezilla is not tacky (at least not socially) because she did this, but because you know she did this.

I only know it because of manly commiseration between the Groom and my own DH. DH was so shocked and appalled that it was the first thing he told me about after the little ones and I were away for a weekend.
I think it's tacky that she did it, even if most of her victims never know.
Anne L.

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Life isn't all fricasseed frogs and eel pie.

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duchess

Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764

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Dear Uncle Sine,

My mother wants to spend lots of time with me. I hate spending time with her. I have lots of issues with my mother. But to honor Commandment #5 and be a good Christian daughter, I go to din din and watch movies from time to time with her.

Please give me good excuses for getting out of spending time with her. I can only handle her once every two weeks, along with all the phone calls (where she calls up over and over and over again until I pick up...and says things like "there is a cat outside in my yard!")

This is progress from when I used to ignore my mother since she ignored me lots of time when I was growing up [cues Cats In The Cradle song ]. But now I'd love to, mom, if I can find the time, And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me, I'd grown up just like her...

[eta: fixed code & yes, I am a bad evil daughter but only semi-evil nowadays. thx.]

[ 02. September 2005, 16:20: Message edited by: duchess ]

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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
iGeek.*

Resident alien
# 3207

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quote:
Originally posted by ferijen:
and gosh, you might even be met at the port by a local shipmate

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
"Might"?

Etiquette suggests that he would have to be met by a carefully chosen, perfectly dressed and extremely polite and knowledgeable shipmate ...

Preferably a nubile, 20-ish single male. There are a number of qualifying british shipmates that come to mind [Smile]

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.sig on holiday

Posts: 702 | From: Hot-on-us, TX | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
Please give me good excuses for getting out of spending time with her. I can only handle her once every two weeks, along with all the phone calls (where she calls up over and over and over again until I pick up...and says things like "there is a cat outside in my yard!")

It's always best to be pro-active in these situations. That gives you the control of the scheduling.

Don't wait for her to call. You call her and set up a visit. The same for phone calls. You call her. You set the frequency of the contact. If she gets used to you doing the arranging and the calling, she's not as likely to be calling you.

Once you've established your creds as "a daughter who makes an effort" if she calls and wants to do something you've got the moral highground to say "I can't tomorrow, Mom, but I can next week."

If that doesn't work, sign up for a course at night school. Between classes and homework you can get out of anything. She doesn't want you to fail, now does she?

(Has anybody else noticed we seem to get a lot of mother-daughter questions on this thread?)

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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I've noticed, yes. Perhaps it will make you feel better if I report that I get along really well with my mother. She is a genuinely nice, sweet person, and she loves me. She has never, not once, tried to tell me how to run my life since I became an adult, and she has never criticized my decisions. She has never made me feel bad about the way I look; she has never criticized my choice of clothing or implied that I need to lose weight. When I was a teenager she actually found a nice way to show me that I would look better and feel better if I stood up straight, and she gave me the sterling advice that if I'm ever not sure I'm wearing the right thing, I should just hold my chin up and look people in the eye with the attitude that "it's supposed to look this way." [Smile]
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
[...]I should just hold my chin up and look people in the eye with the attitude that "it's supposed to look this way." [Smile]

The secret of success in fashion, liturgy, and life.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Dear Sine,

I find myself increasingly in social situations with people that I just don't like. The older I get, the less time I like to waste on building relationships with people I don't like. However, due to work, marital, church, ship sorts of commitments I'm forced to spend time with these people. Every so often I have to actually make inane conversation with such individuals and waste hours with them giving them the false impression that not only do I enjoy their company but that I want more of it.

I realise I have to meet these social obligations, but do you have any recommendations as to how a) not to encourage these people and b) how to deal with their presence and conversation without being driven to drink?

Yours truly,
Bothered in Britain

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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Oh God! That's a difficult one!

Only last Friday night I found myself at dinner - once again - with two people whose inane conversation drives me right. up. the. wall. Just couldn't stand another second of it, but couldn't leave without appearing rude. I stayed home last night rather than endure it again.

And yet...and yet...it's partially my fault. On occasion both of these people do have things to share I find interesting. But I'm passive about trying to direct the conversation. I think people tend to be shy about being real. I know I can be. When you're stuck with these people at least try not to have it be a total waste of time.

As to not encouraging them, honesty can be the best policy if you're really honest. Not "honest" about them but about your own feelings. Not too long ago I told someone who habitually needles me "When you talk that way to me I feel 'less than'." Note that I didn't say I hated talking to them, or that in Christian Love I felt obligated to point out I think they're a raving bitch. I just told them how I felt.

People are usually quite taken aback by that kind of honesty. This particular person has been very quiet around me since then, but that's Ok. It seems to be a respectful kind of quiet.

In any case, what you describe is difficult to deal with and I welcome comments from our panel of experts.

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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719

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Dear Sine,

A former university acquaintance famed for a somewhat abrasive personality and an obsession with money has got back in touch after two years* to say she's visiting my company for work and would we like to get in touch. The preliminary contact was much chattier and 'friendlier' than her old self and I agreed to a meeting up but I fear that on our meeting she may go back to her traditional ways which traditionally would be a discussion of how much she is paid, the price of everything in her apartment, how much she spent on her parents' Christmas presents and how amazing her cooking is. (It isn't).

Now I would like to think that my friend has changed, hence the reason I agreed to lunch, but if she still displays the traits of her former self, how best should one deal with such vulgarity and is it possible to get out of this being a regular occurence?

(*I couldn't say who was the last to be in touch, I suspect it was me when I sent around a note to say I had a new job and was moving in with my boyfriend of whom she does not approve for complicated reasons including her ex's obsession with my other half's ex from about six years ago. What that has to do with me when I knew none of the parties concerned at the time, I've never quite fathomed...)

Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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quote:
Originally posted by ferijen:
Now I would like to think that my friend has changed, hence the reason I agreed to lunch, but if she still displays the traits of her former self, how best should one deal with such vulgarity and is it possible to get out of this being a regular occurence?

I guess I'm a bit puzzled why this person is your "friend" given your description of her. There must be something there you like.

However this week (next week it may change) I'm really into the power of being open and vulnerable. If she starts in on "wonderful, glorious, marvelous me" why don't you say "That sounds fabulous, but it makes me feel really bad about myself in comparison. Anything not going well in your life? I do better at sympathy rather than envy."

As to getting out of future lunch dates, try this on for size:

"Let's do this again soon."

"Oh, I'd love to but I just can't."

"Why not?"

"It's just not possible."

"When are you free?"

"I haven't a moment to myself next week. What's your number? I'll call you and set up something."

...and then don't. Chances are she won't ask again.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
how to deal with their presence and conversation without being driven to drink?

And the problem here being? With luck, they will start taking active steps to avoid being with this morose* lush.

*I'm assuming in vino veritas will kick in.

Actually, I have a sometimes staggering tolerance of boring people. I always imagine I'm writing their character into a book, and observing just which touches would convey their essential mindnumbingness while simultaneously being entertaining. Also, I knit a lot, which shows I obviously need a lack of excitement in my life.

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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I knew our panel of experts would come through!

Taking up knitting is an excellent idea. I know a woman who takes her knitting everywhere. You never have the least idea whether she's paying attention or not. And no one messes with a woman who's got two sharp needles in her hands.

Plus you're way ahead of the game present-wise come Christmas time.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Alfred E. Neuman

What? Me worry?
# 6855

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Actually, I have a sometimes staggering tolerance of boring people...

The only thing worse than boring people is boring people touching me.

[*shudder*] [Big Grin]

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--Formerly: Gort--

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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
Every so often I have to actually make inane conversation with such individuals and waste hours with them giving them the false impression that not only do I enjoy their company but that I want more of it. [B]ut do you have any recommendations as to... how to deal with their presence and conversation without being driven to drink?

Most people* have at least one interesting thing in their life. Try directing the conversation, and probing for what this might be. Find out their interests, and hit those topics.

People who are talking about something they like are much less boring.

Also, by directing the conversation, you can limit it, so that you don't get stuck with one person for the whole time. Set yourself a time limit, and think of some graceful exit lines. Use one when you time limit is up, and move on to the next person.

Alternatively, tell them that they bore you to tears, and if they walked away from you right now, you would still have spent too long in their miserable company. [Big Grin]

Why do you feel that you have to give the impression that you would welcome more of their company?

Sarkycow

*I'm sure there are one or two exceptions, but pretty much everyone else has this.

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Taking up knitting is an excellent idea. I know a woman who takes her knitting everywhere. You never have the least idea whether she's paying attention or not. And no one messes with a woman who's got two sharp needles in her hands.

On reading Sine's post I was irresistibly reminded of the knitting women at the Guillotine in "A Tale of Two Cities". Knitting can often be a deceptively innocuous pastime. Look closely at the shapeless garment being created but never criticize it. It may be your hair or sinews that end up in the next.

And never assume that a woman who knits isn't listening. In my experience they absorb information from a wide variety of sources simultaneously while knitting and do not hesitate to impart wisdom to you when they think it necessary.

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Actually, I have a sometimes staggering tolerance of boring people...

The only thing worse than boring people is boring people touching me.

[*shudder*] [Big Grin]

So maybe with that in mind you can understand why Laura and I and many other women prefer intelligent men when choosing sexual partners? [Big Grin]
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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No wonder you're still single Ruth [Biased] There's only about three of them out there - and two of them are gay!

--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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I know, I know. The last guy who expressed any interest in me is a self-described slut who just wants to get laid. (My internal response: "Uh, no, not when God only knows everywhere that's been.") The one before that, while a nice enough guy, isn't bright enough to figure out that he and I have almost nothing in common and that I'm not going to go out with someone who probably (I'll admit, this is speculation) owns at least one t-shirt that says on the back, "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
Most people* have at least one interesting thing in their life. Try directing the conversation, and probing for what this might be. Find out their interests, and hit those topics.

People who are talking about something they like are much less boring.

Unfortunately, in many people this one absorbing topic on which they can talk with the utmost vivacity for hours, is themselves.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alfred E. Neuman

What? Me worry?
# 6855

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
[...] So maybe with that in mind you can understand why Laura and I and many other women prefer intelligent men when choosing sexual partners? [Big Grin]

Oh, yes, Ruth! But unfortunately there's no direct correlation between intelligence and stimulating (as opposed to boring) company. I've known plenty of intelligent people who would bore you to tears. There's no shortage of them on these boards. [Snigger]

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--Formerly: Gort--

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The Bede's American Successor

Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
...The one before that, while a nice enough guy, isn't bright enough to figure out that he and I have almost nothing in common and that I'm not going to go out with someone who probably (I'll admit, this is speculation) owns at least one t-shirt that says on the back, "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."

Is someone making a nasty comment about bikers? [Paranoid]

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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.

—Ezekiel 16.49

Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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No, that's me saying I don't want to date one.

{edited for clarity}

[ 03. September 2005, 18:22: Message edited by: RuthW ]

Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
welsh dragon

Shipmate
# 3249

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Oh, many bikers are very intelligent people you know. Highly educated. Sensitive and spiritual. Talented in all sorts of ways [Cool] .
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Kat in the Hat
Shipmate
# 2557

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Taking up knitting is an excellent idea. I know a woman who takes her knitting everywhere. You never have the least idea whether she's paying attention or not. And no one messes with a woman who's got two sharp needles in her hands.

On reading Sine's post I was irresistibly reminded of the knitting women at the Guillotine in "A Tale of Two Cities". Knitting can often be a deceptively innocuous pastime. Look closely at the shapeless garment being created but never criticize it. It may be your hair or sinews that end up in the next.
IIRC there has been some research done which shows that knitting can help prevent PTSS. Something to do with brain not fully engaging with what is being seen. (can't quite remember how exactly).
I also have heard that the women had to attend the exectutions, so maybe that was why they took along their knitting. [Big Grin]

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Less is more ...

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Emma Louise

Storm in a teapot
# 3571

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Flausa.... surely you dont mean theres *shipmates* whose company you dont like?! [Paranoid] [Ultra confused]
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by The Bede's American Successor:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
...The one before that, while a nice enough guy, isn't bright enough to figure out that he and I have almost nothing in common and that I'm not going to go out with someone who probably (I'll admit, this is speculation) owns at least one t-shirt that says on the back, "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."

Is someone making a nasty comment about bikers? [Paranoid]
NB: The scene is on US Highway North, not far from Malibu, offframp = Ventura Park Road

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Bede's American Successor

Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
quote:
Originally posted by The Bede's American Successor:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
...The one before that, while a nice enough guy, isn't bright enough to figure out that he and I have almost nothing in common and that I'm not going to go out with someone who probably (I'll admit, this is speculation) owns at least one t-shirt that says on the back, "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."

Is someone making a nasty comment about bikers? [Paranoid]
NB: The scene is on US Highway North, not far from Malibu, offframp = Ventura Park Road
Perchance, did you mean US Rte. 101 North near Malibu?

--------------------
This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.

—Ezekiel 16.49

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The Bede's American Successor

Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042

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quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
Oh, many bikers are very intelligent people you know. Highly educated. Sensitive and spiritual. Talented in all sorts of ways [Cool] .

Aw, shucks, ma'am. 'Tis nothing, really. I didn't think anyone noticed.

--------------------
This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.

—Ezekiel 16.49

Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
The Bede's American Successor

Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
No, that's me saying I don't want to date one.

{edited for clarity}

It sure looked like your were taken aback by the use of the technical term "bitch." While I admit there are uses of the term "bitch" that are not polite and pleasant, you must place it in context. Even men say they are "riding bitch" when a passanger on a motorcycle.

It is much the same as the use of the term "hillbilly." I'm sure that my relatives from my mother's side of my family living in places like St. Francois County, Missouri, in the Lead Belt, would be taken back at some people's usage of the term. Not every usage of the term is bad, though.

(I was quite delighted to find that Tom Beverage's Ozarks has been placed on the Internet. I knew Dr. Beverage while a student at UMR. When imagining what CS Lewis must have been like, Dr. Beverage makes up half the image. The other half was a math professor during that period. Both men were well rounded individuals that could speak with solid authority outside of their academic credentials. While Ozarks is not some serious, scholarly work—it was arranged after his death from presentation notes he used for non-academic lectures around the community and state—you have a chance to pick up on a little of wit and humor of a person that graced my college life. And, I wish I would have had this reference during some recent discussions on infant baptism.)

--------------------
This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.

—Ezekiel 16.49

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Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:
Flausa.... surely you dont mean theres *shipmates* whose company you dont like?! [Paranoid] [Ultra confused]

Yes, several actually. Hmmm ... did I say that outloud? [Was that too honest?] Perhaps I need to post on the confessions thread.

[Don't worry dear Emma, I wouldn't have invited you on the Mad Tour USA if I didn't like your company. I'm not nice enough to invite people I really don't like to spend four days in a car with me.]

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Paul W.

Shipmate
# 1450

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:
Flausa.... surely you dont mean theres *shipmates* whose company you dont like?! [Paranoid] [Ultra confused]

Yes, several actually. Hmmm ... did I say that outloud? [Was that too honest?] Perhaps I need to post on the confessions thread.
Just buy us beer, we'll go away then. [Big Grin]

Paul W

--------------------
"It's just a ride" - Bill Hicks

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Posts: 2835 | From: Leeds, UK | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by Paul W.:
Just buy us beer, we'll go away then. [Big Grin]

Paul W

Now why would I want to do that. You and Tom are one of my favourite ship couples.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by The Bede's American Successor:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
No, that's me saying I don't want to date one.

{edited for clarity}

It sure looked like your were taken aback by the use of the technical term "bitch."
I wasn't. I am just not attracted to men who would wear that t-shirt. Just as I was not in high school attracted to boys who wore Mr. Zogs Sex Wax t-shirts. Certain t-shirts say "not Ruth's type" very loudly--that's all I was saying.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Paul W.

Shipmate
# 1450

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
quote:
Originally posted by Paul W.:
Just buy us beer, we'll go away then. [Big Grin]

Paul W

Now why would I want to do that. You and Tom are one of my favourite ship couples.
Thanks. We'll invite you to the wedding [Biased]

Paul W

--------------------
"It's just a ride" - Bill Hicks

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Posts: 2835 | From: Leeds, UK | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged



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