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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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Always Waiting
Shipmate
# 10141
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Posted
Oh no!! Nonono! I've come to the end of the thread. After fifteen pages of edification, I can't believe it. Sine, you are my touchstone. Your wisdom awes me. Your wit dazzles me. I bow to your immense knowledge. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
I have a very small quandry with which I would appreciate any advice you could offer. I am a student in New Zealand. My journey into the wonderful world of alcohol has been tainted by the crazy hedonism of student life. Under the careful tutelage of my friends, I have learnt to drink cheaply, quickly, and to great effect. I graduate at the end of this year, and plan to visit the UK, via America, on my OE (Overseas Experience). I am trying to train myself to drink like a civilised person.
Sadly, I don't know any civilised people.
Some advice on Alcohol Etiquette would be great. How do you know if you're being invited out for a few quiets, a bit of a laugh, or a right piss-up, particularly if the people doing the asking have unintelligible Coronation Street accents? I've heard about these "dinner parties" that grown-ups have. What is acceptable behaviour there? Is it OK to try to find these out things by asking people directly, or will that simply draw their attention to my a) ignorance, and b) propensity to drink like a thirsty camel?
I freely admit that I am a social pygmy. But I wouldn't want to look like a lush.
Yours in anticipation,
Always Waiting.
Posts: 191 | From: 42 Below | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Always Waiting:
Sine, you are my touchstone. Your wisdom awes me. Your wit dazzles me. I bow to your immense knowledge.
What a charming young person. Who says the quality of the apprentice class is declining? Not moi.
quote:
Some advice on Alcohol Etiquette would be great.
Boy, have you asked the right person. You just don't know.
Let me tell you a little story. I was out to dinner last Sunday. There was a young lady at the next table drinking something tasty-looking from a stemmed glass - possibly a flavored martini or perhaps a Manhattan. She picked up the glass, took a little sip, put it back down, resumed her animated conversation with her dinner partners, apparently forgetting there was a glass of liquor in front of her. A few minutes later she glanced down as if surprised, saw her cocktail, picked it back up, took another little sip, put it back down again and continued talking. It probably took her forty minuted to finish that little cocktail. It drove me mad. I kept wanting to scream "DRINK THE DAMN DRINK, BITCH!"
Ahem.
But you see, she was using alcohol as a social lubricant. To make the evening with friends pleasant and convivial. This is the way normal people drink. Not to get drunk but to heighten the occasion rather than to obliterate it.
You are never going to get into trouble by drinking too little but you sure can get into trouble, socially and legally by drinking too much. If you want a rule of thumb, here it is: Don't have more than one drink an hour.
In practice what this means is only have one coctail before dinner. Don't have your wineglass re-filled during dinnner and only have have one after-dinner drink.
Don't run the risk of being a drunken dinner guest. There's nothing more boorish. Believe me, they're not laughing with you, they're laughing at you.
If they're laughing at all.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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iGeek
Number of the Feast
# 777
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I totally feel you, RainbowKate
![[Eek!]](eek.gif) Does her partner know about this?
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Posts: 2150 | From: West End, Gulfopolis | Registered: Aug 2002
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RainbowKate
Shipmate
# 9331
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Posted
No, iGeek, she doesn't. She's very good at putting up with my baggage, but I have a feeling explaining that I'm being felt up by an axe wielding bunny would spell the end of our relationship.
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Coffee is the answer
Posts: 1227 | From: Left at the loophole | Registered: Apr 2005
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RainbowKate:
No, iGeek, she doesn't. She's very good at putting up with my baggage, but I have a feeling explaining that I'm being felt up by an axe wielding bunny would spell the end of our relationship.
Not to mention the added factor of said bunny having met you (*gasp*) online.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Always Waiting
Shipmate
# 10141
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Posted
quote:
But you see, she was using alcohol as a social lubricant. To make the evening with friends pleasant and convivial. This is the way normal people drink. Not to get drunk but to heighten the occasion rather than to obliterate it.
Wow, thanks Uncle Sine. Yet again, you open new vistas of human experience to my initiated eyes. No more boorish drunkness for me (or at least, not after I graduate) ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
[ 20. September 2005, 21:29: Message edited by: Always Waiting ]
Posts: 191 | From: 42 Below | Registered: Aug 2005
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Cosmo
Shipmate
# 117
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Don't run the risk of being a drunken dinner guest. There's nothing more boorish. Believe me, they're not laughing with you, they're laughing at you.
If they're laughing at all.
One way of putting it might be 'Don't think you'll resemble Dorothy Parker; you're much more likely to resemble Randolph Churchill'.
Cosmo
Posts: 2375 | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Well if people are gonna gossip about me, there's a lot worse they can say than that I made a pass at a sweetie like RainbowKate. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
quote:
That answer will cost you. But it involves strangling, carpets, and NFL stadiums.
Sine, is Janet March under The Coliseum?
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Grits:
quote:
That answer will cost you. But it involves strangling, carpets, and NFL stadiums.
Sine, is Janet March under The Coliseum?
I think it was Col. Mustard in the Study with the Rope.
Or am I on the wrong thread again?
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Nonpropheteer
6 Syllable Master
# 5053
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Oh dear. You do have a problem.
Unfortunately, we need to remember that our friends are more important than our material possessions. If these suede sofas are going to be a source of tension for you when people come over you might just as well go ahead and return them now and get something else you'll be more comfortable having your guests sit on.
Or cover them with clear vinyl slipcovers. Since your friends are from West Virginia they won't think a thing about it.
Posts: 2086 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by teddybear:
Which is best place to pick up men, in Church or at a bar?
There is something to be said for either venue. It all depends.
Naturally at church it helps if you're in the choir since that signals to potential sex partners that you're a person of low morals anyway, which saves a bit of time. Second best is being an usher since you get to check out all the meat as they enter and give them a dazzling smile and a meaningful look. If they're not interested, then you were just being friendly and welcoming. Also receptions after special church events are fertile stomping grounds. Especially after Evensongs, which always brings out the boys in full force. Plus a couple of glasses of cheap white wine loosens them up without making them sloppy drunk.
The downside of Church As Meat Rack is that your pool of available pick ups really aren't that attractive, since, in my experience, single men don't turn to the consolation of religion until they can't get a date on Saturday night and so have nothing better to do on Sunday morning anyway. But if they are, relatively speaking, dogs, at least they tend to be a better class of dogs than you get at 2:00 A.M. in a bar.
Plus you have built in conversation starters since you both obviously have a common interest in religion and things churchy. And you can always invite them back to your place to see your copy of the Gutenberg Bible or that rare icon you got for nothing at the flea market.
Also, and this is a real positive as you get older, church folks tend not to stay up late. If you pick them up at the coffee hour you can be done and have them out the door in time for your regular Sunday afternoon nap by 3:00 in the afternoon.
I won't go into the advantages/disadvantages of picking men up in bars since I assume you are already familiar with that proceedure.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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teddybear
Shipmate
# 7842
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Posted
Thank you O Wise One for these pearls of wisdom. One more question. When I attend Catholic Churches the only ones cruising me are the priests and frankly, collars don't do anything for me. Should I start attending the Episcopal Cathedral down the street? Sign me perplexed.
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My cooking blog: http://inthekitchenwithdon.blogspot.com/
Posts: 480 | From: Topeka, Kansas USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Kewl. Do they run a message board? Things have been a little slow around here lately.
[especially since SoF began selling black wristbands on Gadgets for God]
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
Things have been a little slow around here lately.
What? Only one fistfight a day? I guess you do need something to break the monotony.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
After a tough day fighting the forces of evil, one finds it difficult to discuss the intricacies of theology, liturgy and tat. Is it asking too much to expect a little prurient stimulation? I mean, black wristbands, polyamorous guilt, men traumatized by childbirth, plumbing issues and the passion of penguins just doesn't cut it for me.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Paige
Shipmate
# 2261
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Actually, and this came as rather a surprise to me, apparently the Churcha Christ is where it's really happening for sex.
Does Grits know about this?
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Sister Jackhammer of Quiet Reflection
Posts: 886 | From: Sweet Tea Land, USA | Registered: Jan 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Where'd you think he heard about it? ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
More plumbing issues here. (Sorry, Gort!) ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Dear Sine,
I'm putting pen to paper in order to clarify a matter of liturgical etiquette.
Following the misfortunes with my pedometer, (see Questions and answers thread elsewhere in Heaven), I have recently experienced a similar incident and am at a loss as to the correct way of dealing with it. To wit: Early this morning I was performing my toilette - or to be brutally accurate - I was seated upon the toilet when my 'Celebrating Common Prayer - Pocket Edition' slipped out of my 'Victoria's Secrets' wooly dressing gown pocket and down the pan. Fearing spiritual as well as physical blockage, I fished said book out pronto - checked the pages for damage - gave it a quick wipe, and left it to dry at the edge of the bath. No damage done, thankfully and as I took my customary route to church, I offered up thanks for the deliverance of the volume from the murky depths.
What I would like to know is:
For future reference what is the correct proceedure for dealing with such an incident?
and
Do you think God was trying to tell me something?
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
For future reference what is the correct proceedure for dealing with such an incident?
I don't know why people think everything is a matter of etiquette. Etiquette involves interaction with at least one other person, which doesn't seem to be the case in this instance. However if this sort of things seems to be happening a lot you might want to consider keeping a nice pair of silver-plated ice tongs next to the toilet, although I rather shudder to think what guests might think they're for.
quote:
Do you think God was trying to tell me something?
I like to think God is always trying to tell us something, if only we'll listen.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Sine - I'd have thought that prayer does involve interaction with at least one other person! However, thanks for the tip Much appreciated. Although there's not much call for silver-plated ice tongs chez Miffy. Would plastic salad spoons or pasta servers do instead?
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
Miffy, I'd suggest that you empty your pockets before going to the toilet in future...
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
Do you think God was trying to tell me something?
Yes. He's trying to tell you not to take prayer books into the toilet in a Victoria's Secret Dressing gown.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
Miffy, I'd suggest that you empty your pockets before going to the toilet in future...
Or take a magazine in there with you, like the rest of us.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Machine Elf
Irregular polytope
# 1622
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Posted
Or a WiFi laptop, so you can post to the ship.
TME
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Elves of any kind are strange folk.
Posts: 1298 | From: the edge of the deep green sea | Registered: Oct 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Well, when the very same thing happened to the church loo and the hymn book, the vicar went and bought a whole new set with a different title. Just after I'd carefully dried all the pages of the old one, too.
So perhaps He's telling you to ditch Celebrating Common Prayer, and use this order of service instead?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Evensnog
Shipmate
# 8017
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Machine Elf:
Or a WiFi laptop, so you can post to the ship.
TME
Oh, my. That was a visual image I did *not* need!
Posts: 507 | From: Silicon Valley | Registered: Jul 2004
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Niënna
Ship's Lotus Blossom
# 4652
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Posted
Dear Sine,
Ok...so I'm not sure what to do. My good friend bunked with this guy right after breaking up with her boyfriend and moving out of her boyfriend's apartment. She claims they were never in a relationship but after she moved out, the guy claimed that they were and emailed all her friends (including me). He says that his motivation for emailing everyone is to "come clean" and "take responsibility for his actions" and "set the record straight from the horse's mouth" etc...but being the fact that he is obnoxious and everyone of her friends recommended not ever in blue moon bunking with him...kind of ruins any credibility that he might of had. After stating an email that I don't want to discuss it, he sends me this long email about how there are two sides to every story and that I shouldn't take sides just because I'm better friends with the other person. The thing that makes it hard for me is that I know full well that my good friend treated him shabbily and irresponsibly but equally this guy is trying to spite her back by emailing all her friends and ex-boyfriend about what was going on.
aiii!
I don't want to deal with this drama but I want to behave in Christian [tm thingy insert here] way. What do I do?
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[Nino points a gun at Chiki]
Nino: Now... tell me. Who started the war?
Chiki: [long pause] We did.
~No Man's Land
Posts: 2298 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Jun 2003
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Email "this guy", tell him you understand, admit that you are completely infatuated with him and ask him to please not tell anyone.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
For him:
Send him an e-mail that says, "Whatever." ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
For her:
If your friend wants to go on about it, tell her she's well away from him and that the best thing to do would be to ignore his existence completely. Including talking about him- at all. Beginning now. No, really. Now.
That's a good, Christian response.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
Email "this guy", tell him you understand, admit that you are completely infatuated with him and ask him to please not tell anyone.
Don't forget to add that you are pregnant and also confess your addiction to alcohol and methamphetamine. Explain he is the only man you've ever really loved, that you can no longer face life without him and his example has convinced you to "come clean" about your feelings. And, since you're now out of money and so you're about to lose your home, could he please loan you several hundred dollars/pounds and could you please stay with him until you get back on your feet after the baby's birth? Make sure to ask if his front door has a good solid lock on it because you owe money to some unpleasant people.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
Tell the guy that it's none of your business. Because it isn't. Tell your friend that you believe her. Because it sounds like you do. Then ignore any other emails you get from the guy on the subject, and change the subject if it ever comes up in conversation with anyone again, making exceptions only for your friend if she wants/needs to talk about it.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Codepoet
Best Bear On Board
# 5964
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Posted
Tell him to get a blog.
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It's more important to be kind than to be right.
Posts: 1156 | From: Southampton | Registered: May 2004
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
It sounds like Sister Ruth has pretty much got it covered.
I love situations where I can take a High Moral Tone, not particularly because I'm a High Moral Tone kind of guy, which I'm not, but because I'm bored with something or it makes me uncomfortable - which seems to be the case here.
You just can't argue with a High Moral Tone.
As Ruth suggested what you want to tell this guy is "It's none of my business and I don't listen to gossip." I've noticed people seem very taken aback when you tell them something is none of your business. In this day of celebrity gossip and tabloid journalism, almost nobody says that anymore.
Sometimes I go around all day saying "It's none of my business." It really annoys people plus it gives me a wonderful self-righteous glow. I sleep better at night too. I've got plenty of problems of my own. I don't need to waste emotional energy on other people's if it's water under the bridge and I can't do anything about them anyway.
There's a lot to be said for a little emotional detatchment from all the craziness around one.
(I've got a friend who's still insane a year after a break-up. Whenever he mentions his ex-boyfriend's name at dinner I ostentatiously look at my watch and say "Ok. You've got five minutes starting now...")
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Niënna
Ship's Lotus Blossom
# 4652
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Posted
You guys are wonderful. Thank you for your advice and thank you very, very much for helping me. Gort, Lyda Rose, Kenwritez, Ruthw, Codepoet, and Sine Nomine ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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[Nino points a gun at Chiki]
Nino: Now... tell me. Who started the war?
Chiki: [long pause] We did.
~No Man's Land
Posts: 2298 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Jun 2003
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Auntie Doris
Screen Goddess
# 9433
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
(I've got a friend who's still insane a year after a break-up. Whenever he mentions his ex-boyfriend's name at dinner I ostentatiously look at my watch and say "Ok. You've got five minutes starting now...")
I do that with 2 friends who play bass. They are epically dull when they get together, so myself and one of their girlfriends limit their time being boring!! Works for us anyway ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Auntie Doris x
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"And you don't get to pronounce that I am not a Christian. Nope. Not in your remit nor power." - iGeek in response to a gay-hater :)
The life and times of a Guernsey cow
Posts: 6019 | From: The Rock at the Centre of the Universe | Registered: May 2005
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
My significant other (who plays bass) is considering taking us to a recital by the ensemble "Motorhead".
Could you advise me on etiquette re attire please? And also appropriate behaviour? Is there an alternative to playing air guitar?
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Earplugs would be a good start, WD.
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
I'm afraid you have far more serious problems than you know, welsh dragon, if your Sig Other is a bass player.
Bass players are notoriously unfaithful due to their deep-seated inferiority complexes from having to stand in the back all the time. That and the fact that everybody mocks them. They compensate by trying to shag everything that comes within spitting distance.
It's best you know this up front to avoid heartbreak and needless fashion expenditures.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
My significant other (who plays bass) is considering taking us to a recital by the ensemble "Motorhead".
Could you advise me on etiquette re attire please? And also appropriate behaviour? Is there an alternative to playing air guitar?
Jeans and a t-shirt featuring any heavy metal, classic rock/ Thrash metal band. Leather jacket if weather is cold.
A lot of howling "YEAH!!!!", or just inarticulate screaming.
There are many alternatives to playing air guitar, as long as you don't play air guitar.Hip-swaying, boob-shaking, loud stomping of Doc Martins. Just. Don't.Play. Air guitar. Myself, I would stick to head-banging. (if your neck is up to it-- for those uninitiated, it is simply bobbing your head vigoruosly in a rhythmic manner.Not for the chiropractic patient) Raising a bottle of whatever beverage you are consuming is also appropriate.
Be sure to bawl "GET OFF THE STAGE!" to the opening band, as well.It's just sort of traditional.
[ 01. October 2005, 19:31: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Auntie Doris
Screen Goddess
# 9433
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Bass players are notoriously unfaithful due to their deep-seated inferiority complexes from having to stand in the back all the time. That and the fact that everybody mocks them. They compensate by trying to shag everything that comes within spitting distance.
The last bloke I went out with was a bass player. Entirely accurate. Marvellous
Auntie Doris x
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"And you don't get to pronounce that I am not a Christian. Nope. Not in your remit nor power." - iGeek in response to a gay-hater :)
The life and times of a Guernsey cow
Posts: 6019 | From: The Rock at the Centre of the Universe | Registered: May 2005
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Motorhead's style is known as 'speed-metal', so be prepared for a high-energy, full on assault of the senses and unintelligible lyrics...unless they play my old favorite, "1916"
They do some awfully spooky stuff too.
Don't forget your Bic.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Bass players are notoriously unfaithful due to their deep-seated inferiority complexes from having to stand in the back all the time.
They're not the only ones condemned to the back row . . .
b.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Bass players are notoriously unfaithful due to their deep-seated inferiority complexes from having to stand in the back all the time. That and the fact that everybody mocks them.
Unless they're jazz bass-players, in which case they're sexy, confident and faithful. Especially the ones who play fretless electric and/or upright basses, plus Bach on the cello.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Jabber
Shipmate
# 9668
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I wonder if you can help with a little situation at work.
I work in a small team where the boss is incredibly busy and quite stressed and does not like being challenged on his decisions. On Friday he asked a Mo, a team member, to do a piece of work. Mo did what he was asked to do, and showed it to the boss. Later the boss tore up what he had done, and told me to do it, as it had not been done properly. He asked me to do this whilst Mo was out of the room, and also seemed to be expecting me to agree with him that Mo wasn't a good worker etc.
I didn't agree or disagree - I just did what he asked me to do.
What I would have like to have done is to ask him to tell Mo what was wrong with the work, and get him to do it again. (You can only learn from mistakes if you know what they are and so on). I know that if the same were done to me and I found out, I would feel less worthy as a member of the team.
How can I tell my boss without causing too many problems?
Kate
[ 08. October 2005, 11:56: Message edited by: KateLees ]
Posts: 153 | From: North West England | Registered: Jun 2005
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by KateLees:
How can I tell my boss without causing too many problems?
Golly. That's a hard one. My boss is very laid back and I'm fortunate to say we communicate excellently.
I think I'd go with "Boss, do you want me to go over this with Mo so it won't happen again, or do you think it would be more appropriate coming from you?"
Generally question get better results than statements, especially if you phrase it in a way that assumes he will of course want Mo to know about it.
What does our panel of experts think?
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Bass players are notoriously unfaithful due to their deep-seated inferiority complexes from having to stand in the back all the time. That and the fact that everybody mocks them. They compensate by trying to shag everything that comes within spitting distance.
Bass player married 26 years responding. Maybe being the Worst Bass Player in South Wales has something to do with this.
[ETA: Sine is spot-on about responding to boss re another's mistake. And don't ask boss to do this in anyone's earshot either.]
[ 08. October 2005, 12:42: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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