Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I just over a week I'm going to be working abroad for a month. There are two of us going. The person I am going with is not someone I particularly like. He has mentioned that he is glad we're both going because we get on so well and has suggested that we will be socialising together.
How do I suggest to him that I would rather socialise with a rancid goat for an entire month and that I don't particularly want to spend a second outside work time with him without offending the poor man?
-------------------- 'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
I'm sure Sine will have a better suggestion, but maybe put your arm around a rancid goat and shrug sweetly at your colleague? Offence may of course be caused, but whadya want? Sainthood? [ 08. October 2005, 16:38: Message edited by: HopPik ]
-------------------- Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Maybe you could tell him that you expect you'll both need a break from one another after such intense work? Or say that you try not to carry workplace friendships outside?
Alternately, read up on the most disgusting/ offputting aspects of the culture you'll be visiting, and then inform him (e.g.) that you're so thrilled he's willing to eat monkey's brains with you every night.
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by chive: Dear Sine,
I just over a week I'm going to be working abroad for a month. There are two of us going. The person I am going with is not someone I particularly like. He has mentioned that he is glad we're both going because we get on so well and has suggested that we will be socialising together.
How do I suggest to him that I would rather socialise with a rancid goat for an entire month and that I don't particularly want to spend a second outside work time with him without offending the poor man?
I don't want to steal Sine's thunder but I remember someone in this position being advised that they have an infectious disease that is a) far less bother for women than men and b) is more likely to be spread by prolonged contact.
That is, tell him you are incubating mumps.
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by chive: How do I suggest to him that I would rather socialize with a rancid goat for an entire month and that I don't particularly want to spend a second outside work time with him without offending the poor man?
You can't.
You've just got to have a strategy to minimize the damage. Hopefully you'll be able to invite some of the new people you're working with to join you so it's never just the two of you. And if you only accept his invitations every, say, third time maybe it won't be too bad.
On the other hand, I personally am known as The Office Curmudgeon, an attitude I've carefully developed over the years to get out of socializing such as you describe. My stock answer should anybody be so bold to suggest I join them in some dreary event is "I don't get to spend forty hours a week with people I actually like, so I think I'll pass."
Oddly enough people seem to think I'm joking, but at least it gets me out of things.
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Anna B
Shipmate
# 1439
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Posted
chive---
Here is my way of putting the kibosh on such situations. It is not for the faint of heart, but your mention of rancid goats suggests that you are not one such.
You must move quickly to convey to him that his friendship is returned, nay, is returned more than warmly. Armed with your datebook or PalmPilot, accost him in the hallway at work and demand that he immediately set up a time to socialize with you. Do not take no for an answer, and if he begins to seem a bit uneasy at your sudden enthusiasm, you can mentally pat yourself on the back.
Of course you will have to go through it if the two of you agree on something, but it will be time well spent. You can, for example, gush with compliments on his professional skills so that he blushes for you. You can say how thrilled you are that the two of you will be working together so closely in a foreign environment. Touching his arm would not go amiss.
One such occasion should do it.
-------------------- Bad Christian (TM)
Posts: 3069 | From: near a lot of fish | Registered: Oct 2001
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
Either that or the next we'll hear from chive will be on the Weddings thread ...
-------------------- Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by The Prophetess: chive---
Here is my way of putting the kibosh on such situations. It is not for the faint of heart, but your mention of rancid goats suggests that you are not one such.
You must move quickly to convey to him that his friendship is returned, nay, is returned more than warmly. Armed with your datebook or PalmPilot, accost him in the hallway at work and demand that he immediately set up a time to socialize with you. Do not take no for an answer, and if he begins to seem a bit uneasy at your sudden enthusiasm, you can mentally pat yourself on the back.
Of course you will have to go through it if the two of you agree on something, but it will be time well spent. You can, for example, gush with compliments on his professional skills so that he blushes for you. You can say how thrilled you are that the two of you will be working together so closely in a foreign environment. Touching his arm would not go amiss.
One such occasion should do it.
But then of course you might end up in bed with him.
-------------------- Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
You're making me shiver.
-------------------- 'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by chive: You're making me shiver.
With excitement?
-------------------- Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Left at the Altar: quote: Originally posted by chive: You're making me shiver.
With excitement?
I would say less excitement and more barely concealed horror. Believe me if you'd met this person you would understand.
-------------------- 'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
I suggest actually taking a rancid goat and saying at the outset, "I'm with him", pointing to your horny companion.
The only possible snag with this plan, is that your colleague might harbour secret desires to have a threesome with a lady and a goat. I consider this fairly unlikely. However, if it is the case, you are well and truly stuffed.
-------------------- Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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jlg
What is this place? Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
This brings back some bad memories.
What Sine said, definitely. I suggest that you think of something (prep for an exam, intensive personal prayer/discernment, writing a novel, whatever will seem remotely in character) that you have decided to pursue during this month of freedom from the usual demands of everyday life. Decide on the maximum amount of contact you are willing to accept with this guy (breakfast only - to plan the day's work, of course, dinner once a week on Saturday or Sunday, dinner only when it's with the customer so as not to be rude?) and announce it up front, with a flurry of fake-sincere apologies about not being available as a companion and regrets about leaving him on his own most of the time.
I do hope you're going to be someplace where he won't have any trouble amusing himself.
ETA: Make sure it's something that allows for the need to go out for walks alone in order to "think about" whatever, or to sit in a coffee shop or have a drink alone while reading or writing. You don't want to find yourself trapped in your hotel room! [ 08. October 2005, 22:55: Message edited by: jlg ]
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Thankyou for all your advice. I think I'm going to be grown up and say something along the lines of, 'I don't think so, you incredibly horrible nasty wee bloke.' Or alternatively just do what Sine does, and what my usual routine is, of just not socialising with colleagues.
Thankfully we don't have to stay in a hotel. Work has the decency of getting us proper apartments so there is going to be no need for polite chat over breakfast. I think I may also try and persuade my management to give me opposite shifts.
I will also invoke my deeply held love of solitude which I think will develop pretty much the morning I leave.
-------------------- 'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
I have an answer that's easy peasy: Tell him you're writing a novel and thus your non-work time is spoken for. This allows you to get out "to do research" in cafes, bars, restuarants, museums, et al, plus gives you excellent reasons for spending time with locals and not him.
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
An alternative might be to do something toghether where you aren't really together, eg going to the cinema or theatre. You can be sitting next to each other, but you don't have to talk because the film or play is taking up you attention.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
...although he might think it's a kind of date ...
-------------------- Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
I'm beginning to feel sorry for this poor idiot. (But not enough to suggest chive spend more than the bare minimum of time with him. ) But if he's such an awful specimen, he must be damned lonely. With any luck he'll find the new culture more congenial, leave chive alone, and at the end of the trip ask for a transfer to that nice foreign office.
How's that for optimism? [ 09. October 2005, 14:03: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
Since the Panel of Experts has been remarkably unhelpful to Chive (in my opinion), I've revisited her problem at no additional charge and come up with two possible lines for her to use. They both begin with "It's nothing personal" and they both will only work if she's not the life of the office party back home.
1) "It's nothing personal, but there's just no one I want to spend more than forty hours a week with."
2) "It's nothing personal but I make it a habit to keep my business and personal lives separate."
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evensnog
Shipmate
# 8017
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Posted
Dear Sine,
An coworker of mine has gotten involved with a company that does those dreadful retail house parties, where parties are arranged and the guests are pressured to buy scented candles, tea cups, glass pitchers, and other decorative knick-knacks.
I loathe the concept of such parties and do my best to avoid them like the plague. Unfortunately, my coworker is pressuring me to host one of these parties for her.
I'm extremely uncomfortable with the idea- it just seems to me, to be the height of rudeness, to invite people to my house and then expect them to buy various housewares.
Is there a polite way I can tell my coworker to 'bugger off'?
(Apologies if this has been asked before, I skimmed through the thread and didn't see anything similar).
Posts: 507 | From: Silicon Valley | Registered: Jul 2004
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by GloriaGloriaGloria: I'm extremely uncomfortable with the idea- it just seems to me, to be the height of rudeness, to invite people to my house and then expect them to buy various housewares.
I think that it is only rude if you are not up front and honest about what you are inviting them to. You could say something like "My friend, Sine, has just started selling Party Plan goods. Would you be interested in seeing his wares?" That way the person invited is under no illusions about just what they have been invited to.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by GloriaGloriaGloria: Is there a polite way I can tell my coworker to 'bugger off'?
Is there a reason why 'Do you think I am going to turn my home into a capitalist whorehouse the better to advance your tawdry schemes, you profiteering cow' is inappropriate?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
I think you should simply say something like:
"I am not comfortable with asking my friends to come to my house and spend their money there. They will feel pressured because they know me, and that's not a position I want to be put in."
Alternatively, tell her to rack off.
I, too, loathe those sorts of parties and avoid them at all costs. I will never ever ever ever host one.
-------------------- Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Howabout "My mother hosted a party for ******* only last week and I got the few goods I thought worthwhile there and then". [ 10. October 2005, 08:29: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Evensnog
Shipmate
# 8017
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Firenze: Is there a reason why 'Do you think I am going to turn my home into a capitalist whorehouse the better to advance your tawdry schemes, you profiteering cow' is inappropriate?
I really like that sound of that!
Posts: 507 | From: Silicon Valley | Registered: Jul 2004
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by GloriaGloriaGloria: Is there a polite way I can tell my coworker to 'bugger off'?
Naturally it would never occur to the co-worker that she's being rude by trying to pressure Gloria into hosting a shakedown, and here's poor Gloria wanting to be polite back. Well, we do teach our children that they shouldn't steal just because little Johnny does. Turn the other cheek, etc.
Vague. You want to be really vague here. I would suggest something along the lines of "Oh dear. A party. At my house. I'm just not in a position to right now." Look a little distracted and worried while saying this. That could cover anything from a leaky toilet in the guest bath to an impending divorce.
If she persists say "Let me get back to you after the holidays." That will buy you time to at least the middle of January. Maybe by then she will have lost interest.
Now as I've indicated before I'm pretty short with my co-workers when they try to impinge on my personal life. I don't even like signing birthday cards in the office. I've made it clear over the years not to fuck with me about stuff like that. Yet we still get on Ok and do our jobs. They just think I'm a little cranky and eccentric. I can live with that.
So if someone were so bold to ask me, I'd say "I hate those things. I wouldn't even host one for a friend."
It does have a certain simplicity of approach, plus they'll never, ever ask you again. [ 10. October 2005, 10:40: Message edited by: Sine Nomine ]
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
Dear Sine and assorted SOF experts,
Due to the circumstances surrounding my mother’s death, my brother and I found it necessary to ask my grandparents’ neighbor to help us settle her estate. We feel that it would be appropriate to get him a gift as a token of our gratitude (and we're finally planning a trip home to settle up).
He is a middle-aged native West Virginia resident who enjoys hunting and playing the bagpipes in his spare time. Most of the previous exchanges between my family and his have involved the exchange of such things as hunting rights, butchering skills, and meat, none of which we are currently in a position to offer.
His house is primarily decorated with the skins of the bears he has killed, along with an assortment of weapons that hang on the walls. I believe he collects old and unusual guns, so this might make an appropriate gift. However, as this is not an interest I share, I have no idea where I might procure such a thing, or even what I would be looking for.
I have to admit to being completely and utterly stumped here. I would greatly appreciate any ideas - I’d like to get him something he would appreciate, but I have no idea what that might be.
Thanks.
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
He sounds a lot like my dad. I suggest a gift certificate to Cabela's, Eddie Bauer, or, a framed copy of this print.
If your budget allows, you could also offer to have any one of his collectible pistols mounted and framed at a local art & frame store.
If nothing else, give him a hand-written card or note of thanks. It should not be effusive or floral, simple is best: "Thank you for all your help in settling [name] estate. We will always remember it."
Sine may have other thoughts.
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
If he plays the bagpipes, a bottle of good Scotch might not be amiss...
-------------------- When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion. - C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by saysay: I have to admit to being completely and utterly stumped here. I would greatly appreciate any ideas - I’d like to get him something he would appreciate, but I have no idea what that might be.
First of all, people who collect anything know more about what they collect than you possibly could, unless you're another collector of the same item. So it's unlikely you could get him a gun he would like. Put that thought out of your mind.
I assume you've known this man pretty much all your life if he's your grandparents' neighbor. My suggestions are:
A) Find a picture of you and your brother taken at your grandparents' house when you were kids, have it copied and framed.
B) Write him a lovely note as KenWritez suggested.
C) Get him either a gift basket or a case of West Virginia wines. He may not particularly like wine but as a West Virginian he'll be proud of his state's vineyards. Plus giving wine is classier than giving hard liquor, which might imply you think he enjoys a toddy or three a little too much.
The main thing is that you appear to have gone to some trouble in getting him a gift, since I'm sure he went to some trouble in helping to settle your mother's estate.
Now we really need some input from Twilight and NP, our resident West Virginia experts, who are doubtlessly surprised I didn't suggest you buy your friend a set of clear vinyl slipcovers. [ 12. October 2005, 10:55: Message edited by: Sine Nomine ]
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
I was going to suggest a new copper kettle for his still, but the wine is a much nicer idea.
Actually I'm still thinking back a few posts. In the sad times before we had Sine Nomine, I went to Judith (Miss Manners) Martin's site to research the perpetual party plan problem, as it has plagued me all my life. I remember she called them "horrid social hybrids" and reminded us that the usual social rules of RSVP etc., did not apply. In other words, we can just not go if invited or say, "I'm not really interested in tupperware," if asked to host. Yay.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
"He is a middle-aged native West Virginia resident who enjoys hunting and playing the bagpipes in his spare time."
I do hope he doesn't do both simultaneously.
-------------------- "...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe." ~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Pigwidgeon: "He is a middle-aged native West Virginia resident who enjoys hunting and playing the bagpipes in his spare time."
I do hope he doesn't do both simultaneously.
Do you think anything worth hunting will be attracted to the sound of bagpipes? Might make him more likely to be hunted.
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Matrix
Shipmate
# 3452
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sioni Sais: quote: Originally posted by Pigwidgeon: "He is a middle-aged native West Virginia resident who enjoys hunting and playing the bagpipes in his spare time."
I do hope he doesn't do both simultaneously.
Do you think anything worth hunting will be attracted to the sound of bagpipes? Might make him more likely to be hunted.
Well, the only thing worth hunting and eating that would respond to the pipes is haggis. I didn't know they had native haggis in the US at all.
M
-------------------- Maybe that's all a family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place. - Garden State
Posts: 3847 | From: The courts of the King | Registered: Oct 2002
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
If I kept dead animal parts on my wall, a build-it-yourself muzzleloading pistol kit would be charming.
-------------------- --Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by saysay: Dear Sine and assorted SOF experts,
He is a middle-aged native West Virginia resident who enjoys hunting and playing the bagpipes in his spare time. Most of the previous exchanges between my family and his have involved the exchange of such things as hunting rights, butchering skills, and meat, none of which we are currently in a position to offer.
If he has a family connection to Scotland (guess from the bagpipes reference) you could check out the correct tartan on the web and buy him scarf / gloves or kilt in the ancestral fabric. Failing that, what about a gourmet cookbook on receipes for game meat ?
-------------------- All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Presleyterian
Shipmate
# 1915
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Posted
I think Kenwritez' suggestion of a Cabela's gift certificate would be an inspired choice. Even though I have no idea what 75% of the merchandise is used for, any retail establishment that features a Bargain Cave is all right by me.
Posts: 2450 | From: US | Registered: Dec 2001
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wanderingstar
Shipmate
# 10444
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Posted
Dear Sine, is it ok to use bad words when formulating a query for you?
'Cos I've just finished a nightshift and drunk most, hang on, yes definitely most of a bottle of wine, and I can't seem to express my true concerns without expletives.
Should I wait until I am in a more presentable state before asking your advice? [ 15. October 2005, 10:17: Message edited by: wanderingstar ]
-------------------- You know what you shouldn't have done? You should never have let me press all those buttons...
Posts: 273 | From: Hollow lands and hilly lands | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by wanderingstar: I can't seem to express my true concerns without expletives.
Profanity: the linguistic crutch of inarticulate bastards.
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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wanderingstar
Shipmate
# 10444
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Posted
I'll take that as a yes (to my latter question) then. Many thanks.
-------------------- You know what you shouldn't have done? You should never have let me press all those buttons...
Posts: 273 | From: Hollow lands and hilly lands | Registered: Sep 2005
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marmot
Mountain mammal
# 479
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Presleyterian: I think Kenwritez' suggestion of a Cabela's gift certificate would be an inspired choice. Even though I have no idea what 75% of the merchandise is used for, any retail establishment that features a Bargain Cave is all right by me.
I have always been a fan of the Camo bedding, camo baby sleepers, and of course, Hunter Dan and Hunter Ann.
-------------------- Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"
Posts: 2754 | From: The land of Saint Damien | Registered: Jun 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Oh, Hunter Dan. I thought at first you were talking about Dapper Dan, the bezippered and buttoned guy who helps little boys learn how to dress. Hunter Dan looks like more of GI Joe type -- I'm glad he has Ann. GI Joe has already caused enough trouble between Ken and Barbie and since this is a well-mannered thread I won't even go into what Barbie did with Stretch Armstrong...
Is gossip always wrong, or are there times when we can say, "If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone -- sit right here by me." ?
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
As with pictures of naked people and ingestion of alcoholic liquids, I suspect the mysterious line that's crossed when one gossips one's way into "sin" territory is a faint one, slippery to peg down, different for each person.
If Dear Uncle weren't around to give the definitive answer, I would just make sure I tag any observation that smells like gossip with "Bless his heart", "God save her", etc., to take the curse off.
Can't wait to see what Nonc Sine says. Lord love him.
-------------------- I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you? Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Twilight: Is gossip always wrong, or are there times when we can say, "If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone -- sit right here by me." ?
Er...well, I wouldn't personally say gossip is wrong, though the more morally high-minded amongst us might disagree with me. However, I am always painfully aware of the saying "Those who gossip to you will gossip about you." when friends' eyes light up as they clutch my sleeve to dish the dirt about some mutual aquaintance.
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Josephine
Orthodox Belle
# 3899
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Twilight: Is gossip always wrong, or are there times when we can say, "If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone -- sit right here by me." ?
Why, what a coincidence! We've been discussing just that down on the Dead Horse thread on homosexuality!
-------------------- I've written a book! Catherine's Pascha: A celebration of Easter in the Orthodox Church. It's a lovely book for children. Take a look!
Posts: 10273 | From: Pacific Northwest, USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Dear Sine, I hope you can help me. It's a shoe question. Not the 'white/winter white thing'. Not the 'does every woman really need a pair of red high heels?' question. This is one about a pair of perfectly designed brown lizard court shoes (pumps to US Shipmates). Sine, is there any occasion when an priest can wear brown shoes? Any occasion whatsoever?
If Cosmo's lurking on this, I'd be interested to hear his views as well, though I'm afraid I know what they'd be.
Amoselda Marcamos
-------------------- At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
'a priest', sorry. editing time elapsed.
-------------------- At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Amos: [I]s there any occasion when an priest can wear brown shoes? Any occasion whatsoever?
While working in the garden?
-------------------- I upped mine. Up yours. Suffering for Jesus since 1966. WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
The Amosling has pointed out that if I wear brown shoes even the Bishop of Carlisle (qv) will not suspect that I am demonically possessed.
-------------------- At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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