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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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rugasaw
Shipmate
# 7315
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I was at my parent’s house the same time as my brother’s family. I went fishing during the night and caught three big catfish (one 20 lb and two 30 lb) not wishing to clean them in the night I stored them in the shower until morning. Unfortunately my brother’s urbanite wife woke up before me and was met with a sight that, according to her scream, did not agree with her. Seeing as how I will have to see her at family reunions and when ever I go to my brothers house what should I do?
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Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children. -Unknown
Posts: 2716 | From: Houston | Registered: Jun 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by rugasaw:
Seeing as how I will have to see her at family reunions and when ever I go to my brothers house what should I do?
Make sure you go before leaving your house. She's not going to want you anywhere near her bathroom.
Although you could try to teach her to enjoy catfish grappling. That way she could fill up her own shower with fresh catch.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
...Once you're OK going around like that you can work up a bit...
Thanks, Sine and Grits, for the advice and encouragement!
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Anna B
Shipmate
# 1439
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
If, however, she is not only a successful writer but also happily married with perfect children, you'll just need to resign yourself to a life of bitter, impotent envy. Or rustle up a friend who's less successful than you are. Although it sounds like you'll have to check the cemetery for that.
Sine, you backstabbing you-know-what.
"Happily married with perfect children" describes her to a T.
Somebody bring me a chair. Or at least a GIN and tonic. I feel faint...
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Bad Christian (TM)
Posts: 3069 | From: near a lot of fish | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Prophetess:
"Happily married with perfect children" describes her to a T.
Cheer up. Those things can come crashing down when you least expect it. I know you'll be there for her if that happens.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Dear Sine,
Picture the scene: A bright May Bank holiday morning in England's Green and Pleasant Land. The Angel of the Hearth staggers out of the bedroom, deftly avoiding tripping over the cat. Her heart sings at the prospect of coffee, croissants and a day of freedom ahead.
But then she stops, horror stricken (her halo tarnishing before our very eyes) as, out of the corner of her eye she glimpses outside her teen's room, an overflowing hamper. Yes indeed; in her hedonistic whirl of frivolity Ms Slob (Class I) has committed a cardinal sin - she has let her son run out of clean boxer shorts!! ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif) ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
As the rest of the household slumbers on, mercifully oblivious of the drama being played out, Ms Slob acts quickly. Diving to the bottom of the hamper, she retrieves a pair of grubby Calvin Kleins, runs downstairs, plugs in the iron, and presses the offending items before quirting them with summer breezes fabric freshner. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
The Angel of the Hearth has saved the day! ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) Breathing a sigh of relief, she adjusts her halo and reaches for the coffee pot...
But tell me, Sine, what should I do another time?
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Scholar Gypsy
Shipmate
# 7210
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I am a poor student, and have just finished my bottle of gin. I need to get some more, particularly as I have lots of friends who like Gin and Tonics. However, I'm not sure what is the best type of Gin to get - should I splash out on the most expensive bottle I can find, or is there a good name that I should look out for?
Also, is serving it with tonic passe, and if so what should I do instead.
Thank you for your help
S
Posts: 822 | From: Oxford | Registered: May 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Dear Sine,
When I want to impress people that I've met for a meal I invariably tend to dribble food onto whatever 'please like me' top I'm wearing. This is a nervous thing as I don't tend to dribble the rest of the time. Is there some solution to this that doesn't involve the utilisation of a pelican bib because breasts covered with dribbled food don't fall into the win friends and influence people bracket?
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
she has let her son run out of clean boxer shorts!!
Miffy, is your son older than 8? If so, do you also spoonfeed him when he eats and dress him every morning in his little sailor suit? If he's at least semi-functional, he's perfectly capable of washing his own choneys! Why are you the Laundry Slave? If he complains, hand him a box of detergent, point him to the washer, and kick him in the butt.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
A donut shop opened recently in the plaza across the street from our church.
Two or three times per week, I like to purchase one dozen large, cream-filled donuts to eat at my desk while I write my sermon.
However, one of the young ladies who teaches in the nursery school in our church basement often comes into my office to use the photocopier or paper shredder.
Must I offer her a donut if she comes in while there is a large carton of them on my desk?
If so, must I offer her a choice of any of them, or can I say something like, "Have a donut, just be sure to leave the chocolate-caramel creame ones for me, please"?
I really want to be nice to her; she often kills very large spiders for me, and once she called emergency services when it looked as if I might be having a heart attack. How do I demonstrate etiquette & consideration without losing my favorite treats?
[ 30. May 2005, 20:37: Message edited by: Jeremiah Gutzywuk ]
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Jeremiah, What part of "doughnuts"and "heart attack" are you missing?
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
I like to purchase one dozen large, cream-filled donuts to eat at my desk while I write my sermon.
Host! Host! Jeremiah's posting porn in the Heaven section again!
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
Jeremiah, What part of "doughnuts"and "heart attack" are you missing?
I'm afraid I don't understand your question.
I did not eat donuts on the way to the hospital; the ambulance attendant insisted on "nothing by mouth."
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jeremiah Gutzywuk:
I did not eat donuts on the way to the hospital; the ambulance attendant insisted on "nothing by mouth."
You mean they were - oh, never mind.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Adam.
Like as the
# 4991
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Posted
I, too, have a quandry. You see, normally, politeness would dictate that if I were to walk into some-one's office and have a conversation that began:
quote:
Me: Could you tell me X's Y, please?
Them: Yes, it's Z.
It really should end:
quote:
Me: Thankyou very much.
Them: You're quite welcome.
However, if this conversation occurs via email it would seem to me to be rather a waste of network space (or something) to have two emails corresponding to the lower two utterances. Need I include an email to the effect of the third? And, when roles are reversed, if I receive one should I reply?
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Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog
Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
Oh Auntie Sine, such a tide of human pain welling up while you're offline, how will you cope?
I'm sure you will. And how about this? Happened just this Sunday, we're out with friends of 18 years, godparents to their children. The sort of friends you think you know all about. Including the bad bits, like they've snapped and snarled at each other in our company often enough, and we in theirs.
So there we are in a seafront cafe, watching the windsurfers and the powerboats and the military jets practising their low-level stuff along the shoreline or whatever they were doing splitting our eardrums. And then suddenly world war III breaks out between our friends. I didn't actually catch the comment from one of them that set it off but instantly it's blood on the walls, heavy resentments going back decades, accusations and denials, all mixed up with the usual couples illogic (miniquote... "I don't blame you but I'll never forgive you"). One of them clearly wanting to get stuff off her chest in front of us, the other equally clearly resenting that and each of them eyeballing one or the other of US while they slag each other off. All of this in front of the kids, theirs and ours, though they were so busy plugging their ipods into each others' ears I don't know how much they noticed. Maybe they were busy trying not to.
Then, just as suddenly, it all stopped... a minute or two's silence while spouse and I look at each other thinking "What????" And then it's as though nothing ever happened, and clear that they want it to be that nothing happened, as clearly as they were trying to involve us before.
Maybe no answers Sine. Just one for the archive.
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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I have a dreadful addiction and I am not sure how to cure it. I have tried sex, wine, brandy, food and posting waffle on an internet site but nothing seems to be able to cure me of my new addiction.
I confess I have become addicted to powerpoint. It started with one presentation and it has led me to more, more, more... my life is one slideshow. What should I do?
Yours *clicking on next slide*
dolphy.
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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hedonism_bot
Shipmate
# 5027
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I have a friend whose brother - let us call him Piers - is seeking nomination as the Conservative party candidate for a parliamentary seat representing a fashionable resort town. To improve his chances Piers has hit upon the idea of claiming to have "experimented with a same-sex relationship" whilst at university. This would normally be a splendid wheeze guaranteeing popularity with the wing of the party dominant in that area, but unfortunately Piers is a beefy extrovert with about the same aura of ambivalent sexuality as John Wayne and making any such claim would quickly lead to exposure and ridicule. How can we talk him out of this disastrous course of action?
Posts: 778 | From: Running from the grand ennui | Registered: Oct 2003
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
Miffy, is your son older than 8?...If he's at least semi-functional, he's perfectly capable of washing his own choneys! Why are you the Laundry Slave? If he complains, hand him a box of detergent, point him to the washer, and kick him in the butt.
My dear Ken, you seem to be unaware that there are strict licensing requirements for the doing of laundry (and, for that matter, the loading and unloading of dishwashers). In my household, I am the only one licensed for dishwasher handling, and the only one with a full license for laundry. (My Senior Child has a learner's permit for the laundry; this allows her to turn her own underwear grey, but puts serious limits on her ability to ruin anyone else's wardrobe.)
This is, at any rate, the only theory that seems to account for my family's inability to deal with such things as detergent and lint screens.
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rossweisse:
quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
Miffy, is your son older than 8?...If he's at least semi-functional, he's perfectly capable of washing his own choneys! Why are you the Laundry Slave? If he complains, hand him a box of detergent, point him to the washer, and kick him in the butt.
My dear Ken, you seem to be unaware that there are strict licensing requirements for the doing of laundry (and, for that matter, the loading and unloading of dishwashers). In my household, I am the only one licensed for dishwasher handling, and the only one with a full license for laundry. (My Senior Child has a learner's permit for the laundry; this allows her to turn her own underwear grey, but puts serious limits on her ability to ruin anyone else's wardrobe.)
This is, at any rate, the only theory that seems to account for my family's inability to deal with such things as detergent and lint screens.
Hmmm... I would gladly hand out laundry licences to my family but nobody wants 'em!
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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
Hmmm... I would gladly hand out laundry licences to my family but nobody wants 'em!
Exactamundo.
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
Ms Slob (Class I) has committed a cardinal sin - she has let her son run out of clean boxer shorts!!
she retrieves a pair of grubby Calvin Kleins, runs downstairs, plugs in the iron, and presses the offending items before quirting them with summer breezes fabric freshner.
But tell me, Sine, what should I do another time?
I'm sorry. I got a little distracted by the image of retrieving a strapping young lad's Calvin's. What was your question again?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by xSx:
I'm not sure what is the best type of Gin to get - should I splash out on the most expensive bottle I can find, or is there a good name that I should look out for?
Also, is serving it with tonic passe, and if so what should I do instead.
Poor students have no business drinking gin. Gin is for grownups. Poor students should be drinking beer or cheap wine, otherwise they'll have no incentive to improve their lot in life.
Which makes your second question redundant.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
When I want to impress people that I've met for a meal I invariably tend to dribble food onto whatever 'please like me' top I'm wearing.
I had a very similar problem on Sunday. I ate lunch at an Italian restaurant while wearing a very expensive Salvatore Ferragamo tie and was fearful of dribbling. Nor did I want to use a bib, knowing it would destroy the beauty of my outfit. And make me look like a dork.
Having learned from experience, I offer you this advice: always order thin crust Pizza Margarita. It's not drippy and is generally one of the cheaper things on the menu...which will impress your date just as much as your breasts. If not more.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jeremiah Gutzywuk:
Must I offer her a donut if she comes in while there is a large carton of them on my desk?
If so, must I offer her a choice of any of them, or can I say something like, "Have a donut, just be sure to leave the chocolate-caramel creame ones for me, please"?
How do I demonstrate etiquette & consideration without losing my favorite treats?
Simple. You're getting a dozen donuts, right? Get two half-dozens.
Have the donut lady put your favorites in one box, the rest in the other. Make sure the other box is closest to the edge of the desk. The young lady is most likely to reach for the nearest box. If there is danger of her going for the second box say "You might want that other box. I haven't sneezed on it."
If they only have boxes of a dozen, remove your favorites right away and pile them greedily on a paper towel next to your keyboard. It will look childlike, but she's probably used to that.
You might want to munch on them as you write your next sermon on the text "sharing is caring".
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ACOL-ite:
if this conversation occurs via email it would seem to me to be rather a waste of network space (or something) to have two emails corresponding to the lower two utterances. Need I include an email to the effect of the third? And, when roles are reversed, if I receive one should I reply?
I agree. I've often thought that's a waste. I can however think of two points in its favor.
One - it saves you from some moron further wasting your time by then calling you to say "Did you get my email? Do you understand it?" These are the same people who will call to say "I'm getting ready to send you a fax." or "You'll get a package from me tomorrow. Just wanted to give you a heads up."
Two - you can seem to be polite and energetic (if such is your wish) by immediately emailing back a terse one word "Thanks!" - always include the exclamation mark. That's the energetic part.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
Oh Auntie Sine, such a tide of human pain welling up while you're offline, how will you cope?
Nobody has a unique problem. I have a card file.
quote:
Maybe no answers Sine. Just one for the archive.
My, what an interesting afternoon by the seaside. And in front of the children too. Must be the salt air.
What they did of course was extremely rude, but looks like they've got bigger problems than that. You shouldn't have ignored it. I hope you didn't. I would have been tempted to say something along the lines of "I hope you two feel better, because I sure don't. We need to leave now." And then leave and also leave the ball in their court to call and apologize.
No one should drag others, particularly close friends, into their domestic disputes. Or in front of the children. You need to let them know what they did was inexcusable and will not be tolerated. 18 year's friendship or no.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dolphy:
I confess I have become addicted to powerpoint.
Call Father Cosmo. He'll come over and smash it with his thurible.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by hedonism_bot:
unfortunately Piers is a beefy extrovert with about the same aura of ambivalent sexuality as John Wayne and making any such claim would quickly lead to exposure and ridicule. How can we talk him out of this disastrous course of action?
You certainly have a lot of friends who do peculiar things. These aren't the same folks down whose sink you pee'd are they?
In any case why talk "Piers" out of it? If he's that beefy and manly dress him in leather and watch him be a shoe in for the seat. I mean no one can really prove he didn't have the affair, now can they?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Anna B
Shipmate
# 1439
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Posted
We've got him using smilies, folks. Any minute now and he'll be dripping ice cream on the Ferragamo tie.
[ 31. May 2005, 01:40: Message edited by: The Prophetess ]
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Bad Christian (TM)
Posts: 3069 | From: near a lot of fish | Registered: Oct 2001
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Soror_Mystica
Apprentice
# 9285
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I'm sure you have had a busy day. Would you mind terriby one more burning question? In The North (Delaware) where I grew up The Rule was no patent leather shoes, no white shoes, no linen, no "summery" clothes between Labor Day and Memorial Day. When I lived in The South, the summer clothing Rules did not seem to be followed. People wore linen as early as March (and claimed overall to be better versed in the vagueries of etiquette than any damnyankee could possibly be). So, what is the Real Answer?
Yours sincerely,
Gentle Reader (oops, that's Judith Martin's line)
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was Inner Alchemist; opted for sex change.
Posts: 19 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Lillian
Shipmate
# 6158
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Make sure the front porch is reinforced so's when yer sittin a spell to visit it don't collapse and kill all the dawgs.
Sorry to quibble, but as a West Virginia girl I really must object. Honestly, do people believe everything about us they see in the movies?
Under the porch is where the pigs go. You tie the dogs up out back.
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Sometimes I think that the only art left for us is to slowly peel the label off a beer bottle while somebody tells us about a dream they had. —Lynda Barry
Posts: 233 | From: On a hallowed hill in Tennessee, USA | Registered: May 2004
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Dear Sine
As I get older I find that I am more frequently distressed by the sight of orchestra conductors wearing dinner-suit trousers with tail-coats.
Do you think I should stay in more?
With thanks in anticipation,
Chapelhead
[ 31. May 2005, 07:11: Message edited by: Chapelhead ]
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Dear Sine
As I get older I find that I am more frequently distressed by the sight of orchestra conductors wearing dinner-suit trousers with tail-coats.
Do you think I should stay in more?
With thanks in anticipation,
Chapelhead
Well, from my point of view, there is nothing better than a sharp-dressed man - so we can all look forward to Uncle Sine's answer.
My question: Asparagus - fingers or forks? Au beurre, hollandaise or vinaigrette?
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2^8, eight bits to a byte
Posts: 3967 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
I think that last post from CH was a subtle 'I buy seats in the Dress Circle' one. (How else can he see the 1 stripe instead of 2 down the side?)
Now to my pressing problem.
I have joined a choir. I am inexperienced, but I do know what part I *should* be singing. My problem is that next to me is a gentleman with a lovely voice (strong, melodious and on pitch), except that he is given to singing the melody instead of the tenor part about 80-90% of the time.
What can I do? Being neither a strong nor confident singer I often get thrown off course and find it very difficult to pick my part out again. It's all rather trepid and embarrassing, especially when our next best tenor loses the plot, in the absence of our perfect-pitch, sight-singing lead tenor. I do bravely try to pull us out of a death spiral, but alas, invariably I lose it too.
So that you can gauge the level of insight of the above-mentioned gentleman: (who has just sung the entire melody line at rehearsal) replies cheerily: "Yep, pretty right" when the choirmaster enquires if everything is alright with the tenors.
Your advice and encouragement will be, as always, warmly regarded.
C.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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anglicanrascal
Shipmate
# 3412
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Posted
I also have a musical question that is of some importance. I have a friend who went to an Eisteddfod and discovered that he had left his fly open. How does one recover from such a situation with the charm, grace and aplomb required if one is to make it in society? The difficulty seems to lie in getting trembling fingers which have naturally become damp with perspiration (on realising the delicacy of the situation) to grasp a tiny piece of metal and get the gap shut with the minimum amount of effort and attention.
Maestro, please inform us how it is to be done.
Pax,
ar
Posts: 3186 | From: Diocese of Litigalia | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Broad:
In The North (Delaware) where I grew up The Rule was no patent leather shoes, no white shoes, no linen, no "summery" clothes between Labor Day and Memorial Day.
When I lived in The South, the summer clothing Rules did not seem to be followed. People wore linen as early as March So, what is the Real Answer?
Goodness. They certainly have a lot of rules in Delaware for such a small state. Nearly as many as Rhode Island. Either that or you weren't listening properly and have run several different rules together.
My understanding is:
1) No white shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.
2) No patent leather shoes if you're a Catholic school girl.
3) No linen if you have to scrape ice off the windshield of your car.
Rules 1 & 2 are absolute and to break them would indicate you're trailer trash and/or a slut.
Rule 3 is more flexible. You can wear linen at Easter even if it's cold and damp but then you have to put it away again until it warms up. In that awkward fashion period between Easter and Memorial Day you follow common sense and the weather report.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
As I get older I find that I am more frequently distressed by the sight of orchestra conductors wearing dinner-suit trousers with tail-coats.
Do you think I should stay in more?
This is obviously a trick question since it's perfectly acceptable to wear dinner-suit trousers with white tie (in the US at least). The stripe is a holdover from military uniforms and is only there to hide the seam. Personally, I worry more about conductor's hair.
As to whether you should stay in more, that is a legal question you'll need to discuss with your parole officer.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Duo Seraphim:
My question: Asparagus - fingers or forks? Au beurre, hollandaise or vinaigrette?
Life, in my experience, is not all black and white. Not to be too PoMo about it, it all depends.
If you're serving asparagus vinaigrette with grilled steak on the terrace in the summer, fingers are fine.
If you're serving it in the winter with hollandaise in the dining room, definitely forks. Unless of course it's an intime dinner for two and you think there will be an advantage to slowly licking the hollandaise off your fingers while staring smouldering into your dinner partner's eyes.
Of course you may also have to lick hollandaise off the table cloth which might be counter-productive.
Au beurre is always appropriate. Just be sure to also sprinkle it with sea salt too.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
My problem is that next to me is a gentleman with a lovely voice (strong, melodious and on pitch), except that he is given to singing the melody instead of the tenor part about 80-90% of the time.
I do bravely try to pull us out of a death spiral, but alas, invariably I lose it too.
So that you can gauge the level of insight of the above-mentioned gentleman: (who has just sung the entire melody line at rehearsal) replies cheerily: "Yep, pretty right" when the choirmaster enquires if everything is alright with the tenors.
Coot, I really feel your pain on this one, having been in exactly the same situation myself. Your best bet is to start an affair with the other tenor and when the time seems right in the sweet after-glow of passion whisper "Dear, there's something I've been meaning to tell you...you're screwing up the whole section. If you want to sing the melody so damn badly why don't you let me cut your balls off and you can join the sopranos."
In my experience tenors are very open to criticism if you approach it in a kind and loving way.
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by anglicanrascal:
Maestro, please inform us how it is to be done.
One should never be too proud to ask for help. Just be careful who you ask. Don't ask the Coot.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
I think that last post from CH was a subtle 'I buy seats in the Dress Circle' one. (How else can he see the 1 stripe instead of 2 down the side?)
Now to my pressing problem.
I have joined a choir. I am inexperienced, but I do know what part I *should* be singing. My problem is that next to me is a gentleman with a lovely voice (strong, melodious and on pitch), except that he is given to singing the melody instead of the tenor part about 80-90% of the time.
What can I do? Being neither a strong nor confident singer I often get thrown off course and find it very difficult to pick my part out again. It's all rather trepid and embarrassing, especially when our next best tenor loses the plot, in the absence of our perfect-pitch, sight-singing lead tenor. I do bravely try to pull us out of a death spiral, but alas, invariably I lose it too.
So that you can gauge the level of insight of the above-mentioned gentleman: (who has just sung the entire melody line at rehearsal) replies cheerily: "Yep, pretty right" when the choirmaster enquires if everything is alright with the tenors.
Your advice and encouragement will be, as always, warmly regarded.
C.
if the loving moment fails to transpire in a timely manner, try the ol' tried & tested "Could you sing me / hum me / play me this bit" [select bit where your would-be-lover persists in melody singing] and let realisation dawn.
If this strategy fails, find an accomplice in the tenor section, arrange for one or other of you to 'forget' your music & agree to share because you both mark up your part in a similar way. Ensure said accomplice is some distance from mr. melody man.
[ 31. May 2005, 11:13: Message edited by: luvanddaisies ]
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by anglicanrascal:
I have a friend who went to an Eisteddfod and discovered that he had left his fly open.
Those robes have flies? Couldn't he just have covered it with his clarsach?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lillian:
Under the porch is where the pigs go. You tie the [hound] dogs up out back.
Quite right, Lillian! Recently, however, I have observed some slight, evolutionary change -- now the side yard often contains a penfull of pitbulls. One can never have too much protection on the estate.
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Dear Sine,
A few months ago I removed all my husbands clothes from his closet, washed them, washed the walls, and put them back; all in an attempt to get rid of a pervasive scent, I tactfully referred to as "unfresh." A more accurate description would have been "wet dog on a hot hamper of dirty socks". Now it must all be done again lest a prospective homebuyer receive a nasty shock -- we're rather far from the hospital.
Sine, how do I bring up this sensitve subject again, so soon? The last time he spent the entire day, shuffling around the halls muttering, "Nobody likes to be called high-smellin' and low down."
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Archimandrite
Shipmate
# 3997
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Dear Sine
As I get older I find that I am more frequently distressed by the sight of orchestra conductors wearing dinner-suit trousers with tail-coats.
Do you think I should stay in more?
With thanks in anticipation,
Chapelhead
I'll warrant the chap's waistcoat is too long, and that he's wearing an attached collar. Dear God! The depravity of the modern world! At least some of us keep the flame burning. And how many men still wear proper shoes at Balls?
Posts: 1580 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jan 2003
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
Oh Auntie Sine, such a tide of human pain welling up while you're offline, how will you cope?
Nobody has a unique problem. I have a card file.
quote:
Maybe no answers Sine. Just one for the archive.
My, what an interesting afternoon by the seaside. And in front of the children too. Must be the salt air.
What they did of course was extremely rude, but looks like they've got bigger problems than that. You shouldn't have ignored it. I hope you didn't. I would have been tempted to say something along the lines of "I hope you two feel better, because I sure don't. We need to leave now." And then leave and also leave the ball in their court to call and apologize.
No one should drag others, particularly close friends, into their domestic disputes. Or in front of the children. You need to let them know what they did was inexcusable and will not be tolerated. 18 year's friendship or no.
You are right of course. We said nowt at the time for the childrens' sake but must grasp the nettle.
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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Coot, I really feel your pain on this one, having been in exactly the same situation myself. Your best bet is to start an affair with the other tenor and when the time seems right in the sweet after-glow of passion whisper "Dear, there's something I've been meaning to tell you...you're screwing up the whole section. If you want to sing the melody so damn badly why don't you let me cut your balls off and you can join the sopranos."
In my experience tenors are very open to criticism if you approach it in a kind and loving way.
Methinks thou describeth this scenario sore vividly for mere fancy.....
[ 31. May 2005, 12:29: Message edited by: mdijon ]
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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HenryT
Canadian Anglican
# 3722
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Posted
I sometimes wear a bow tie to the office on Fridays. My defense of this is that it's "casual Friday", and any bow tie that is neither black nor white is casual.
Is this a valid syllogism?
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"Perhaps an invincible attachment to the dearest rights of man may, in these refined, enlightened days, be deemed old-fashioned" P. Henry, 1788
Posts: 7231 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Dear Sine,
This Mormon guy in the cube next to me at work, keeps complaining about me being too loud when I kvetch after calls letting off steam. He himself thinks nothing however of slamming down his hands on his desk and smashing it, making loud jarring noises. That is not fair! He is unaware he is loud himself too.
He is supposed to be friendshipping me. Where is the love? He even hates Steve Young. I thought I might score brownie points with him by mentioning the article with Steve Young I saw, but his wife worked for Steve Young...and...
I just can't win with this guy. Perhaps I should just tease him secretly on purpose instead and have fun watching him explode...give up trying to be a team player.
What do you think Uncle Sign? Should I try to bible bang stealthily...using the converting technique to drive him up the wall since I am anyway?
My work would be more productive if he did not seem to loathe me, since I want everybody to love me...but if he can't love me...I want to needle him to death. I live to serve.
Sincerely,
duchess
[ 31. May 2005, 13:21: Message edited by: duchess ]
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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