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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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John Holding
Coffee and Cognac
# 158
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Posted
Until you become a bishop. Then it's back to purple!
John
Posts: 5929 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
OK, get your length of furnishing fabric and don't hem it. Fray it instead.
And amethysts. You need amethysts.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Telepath
Ship's Steamer Trunk
# 3534
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Posted
Strangely, I have amethysts... an amethyst-and-garnet cross hairslide. I only hope it stays in place.
I couldn't find the velvet cape, so for warmth, I'll just use my dark grey wool wrap. Looks really monastic until I take it off and reveal the bling.
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Take emptiness and lying speech far from me, and do not give me poverty or wealth. Give me a living sufficient for me.
Posts: 3509 | From: East Anglia | Registered: Nov 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
Being a tight type person I find it odd to find people creating activities so they can have presents. Seems a tad grabby to me.
But then I always give new born babies a tiny pair of red wellies because I think they're cute.
Late addition:
The basic rules for either bridal or baby showers in the US is that they are not organized by the honoree or the honoree's relatives, but by a friend. It says "Shower" on the invitation so no one is ambushed. Contributions for the entertainment or refreshments are not solicited. And if one is really traditionally minded, they are to be only held for the first marriage or the first baby, since it is assumed one is starting from the ground floor on home or baby products. This last rule is generally ignored by anyone determined to celebrate their friend's good fortune.
Brides or moms giving themselves showers or trolling for cash in the form of money trees or having people "go in together" for a large gift are tacky.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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corvette
Shipmate
# 9436
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
Being a tight type person I find it odd to find people creating activities so they can have presents. Seems a tad grabby to me.
But then I always give new born babies a tiny pair of red wellies because I think they're cute.
Ahhhh! ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
[tangent]
and i always give flower vases for a wedding - you will never end up without a kettle, but a pretty vase is a pure luxury and by the time they can afford to buy their own, they will prob'ly have stopped giving each other flowers. [/tangent]
Posts: 494 | From: ecclesia sans frontiers | Registered: May 2005
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
Dear Sine--
A colleague--who I also consider a friend, though we don't often see each other outside work--gave me a gift, with an card expressing appreciation for work-related things I had done supporting her. The gift is a lovely coffee-table book. The thing is, I'm not really a coffee-table book kind of guy--I prefer books that are heavy on words. I might look at it once or twice, then it will spend several years on a shelf until I donate it to a thrift store. The Barnes & Noble gift receipt was in the card, but I've never exchanged a gift in my life--I always felt it was a bit tacky, unless someone gave you clothing that was the wrong size (in which case you could exchange it for a different color or style as well). Otherwise, you just say "Oh, that's lovely" and sigh inwardly, while appreciating the thought (which I do).
If the giver were geographically distant, I might just go ahead, but I see her at least once a week and I feel uneasy about either telling her I exchanged her gift for two or three other books I liked better, or pretending that I didn't.
Am I being overly scrupulous?
Timothy
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Joyeux
Ship's Lady of Laughter
# 3851
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Posted
Dear Sine,
This weekend, I am a bridesmaid in my roommate's wedding. The other bridesmaids (including the bride's sister) are all married, but I am single. How do I avoid being the target when the bride throws the bouquet? ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) You see, I'm tired of well-meaning people tell me, "You'll be next," or "haven't you met <insert name of obscure friend / relation> yet," especially at a wedding.
Further, I do have a date for the wedding, a man from church, but we're going as friends, so if I catch the bouquet, he'll be pushed to catch the garter, which would make things... awkward as we're only friends now, but... well... So, how do I (1) avoid the bouquet and (2) carry myself if we each catch the thrown object?
Thanks!
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Float?...Do science too
Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002
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Niënna
Ship's Lotus Blossom
# 4652
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Posted
Timothy the Obscure,
I'm sure Sine will offer far more tactful advice than I....but I wanted throw my two cents in anyway...
I want my friends to be happy. Call me weird, but that's how it is. If I got my friend a book that I was not quite sure he would like, I would slip the receipt in so that he would get something else that he would like. That's the point of the receipt.
So, if I were you - I would exchange the book for something you do want.
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[Nino points a gun at Chiki]
Nino: Now... tell me. Who started the war?
Chiki: [long pause] We did.
~No Man's Land
Posts: 2298 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Jun 2003
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyeux:
Dear Sine,
This weekend, I am a bridesmaid in my roommate's wedding. The other bridesmaids (including the bride's sister) are all married, but I am single. How do I avoid being the target when the bride throws the bouquet? You see, I'm tired of well-meaning people tell me, "You'll be next," or "haven't you met <insert name of obscure friend / relation> yet," especially at a wedding.
Further, I do have a date for the wedding, a man from church, but we're going as friends, so if I catch the bouquet, he'll be pushed to catch the garter, which would make things... awkward as we're only friends now, but... well... So, how do I (1) avoid the bouquet and (2) carry myself if we each catch the thrown object?
Thanks!
I was bridesmaid at Nutmeg's wedding. There is a photo of the bouquet, having been thrown by Nutmeg, in the air above all of the singles. All the women in the photo have their arms out-stretched to catch the flowers. Except me. I have my arms folded in front of me.
I recommend that. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Unless you think that flowers clash with their foliage.
Flowers tends to have a range of colours within them, rather than be single colours. This blending makes it easier on the eye. Clothes are often single blocks of colour.
quote:
A lot of truisms about colour are *un*true. I was always told that blue and green clashed, but I never really believed it.
Blues and greens can look very good together. It is about picking the right blues and greens.
Colour theory says that colours beside each other on the colour wheel will be good together, as will colours on opposite sides.
Also if you only change one of the colour factors (hue, saturation, light) then the new colour will be good with the old colour. This is the reason why the jewel colours work.
One classical way to choose a colour colour scheme is to play around with the light, this gives the shades and tones. Then take one of the new colours that you have created and alter the hue. Great colour ways can be created in this way.
The eye processes colours in different ways depending on the adjacent colours. This is the reason why on paint colour swatches the colours are given a nice border of white, so they can been seen in relative isolation.
However, everyone perceives colour differently because everyone's eyes are slightly different. You can use colour theory and other people's suggestions as a starting point, but choose colours that you like and that you think work well together.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyeux:
Dear Sine,
This weekend, I am a bridesmaid in my roommate's wedding. The other bridesmaids (including the bride's sister) are all married, but I am single. How do I avoid being the target when the bride throws the bouquet? You see, I'm tired of well-meaning people tell me, "You'll be next," or "haven't you met <insert name of obscure friend / relation> yet," especially at a wedding.
Further, I do have a date for the wedding, a man from church, but we're going as friends, so if I catch the bouquet, he'll be pushed to catch the garter, which would make things... awkward as we're only friends now, but... well... So, how do I (1) avoid the bouquet and (2) carry myself if we each catch the thrown object?
Thanks!
Let the flower girl catch it. She really wants to.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
I see her at least once a week and I feel uneasy about either telling her I exchanged her gift for two or three other books I liked better, or pretending that I didn't.
Am I being overly scrupulous?
No. I would say you're being overly unimaginative. Why are those your only two options? You're neither compelled to blurt out that you exchanged them (which you should) or pretend that you didn't.
Having given you the gift she's probably getting on with her life and isn't going to be badgering you to tell her how much you're enjoying The Big Book of North American Birds or whatever she got you. I assume you've already thanked her once. Now you're going to write her a little note thanking her again but mostly telling her how much her friendship and support at work mean to you.
Then one more time, in a week or so, you're going to run into her at work and say "Thanks again for the book. I really appreciated your thoughtfulness."
So you've told her a True Thing - you appreciate her thoughtfulness - but haven't specifically commented on the book itself. And I assume you will think of her with gratitude when you read the books you exchanged it for.
(There is always the chance she will say "I hope you liked it". If so, look straight into her eyes, smile, and say "It's a beautiful book." -- which I assume it is.)
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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birdie
fowl
# 2173
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyeux:
I'm tired of well-meaning people tell me, "You'll be next," or "haven't you met <insert name of obscure friend / relation> yet," especially at a wedding.
I think you've had sound advice on the matter of bouquet-avoidance.
Regarding the 'you'll be next' comments, I'm not sure of a way of stopping them, but you can make yourself feel better by saying the same thing to old people at funerals. ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
b
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"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow
Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyeux:
Dear Sine,
This weekend, I am a bridesmaid in my roommate's wedding. The other bridesmaids (including the bride's sister) are all married, but I am single. How do I avoid being the target when the bride throws the bouquet?
...Further, I do have a date for the wedding, a man from church, but we're going as friends, so if I catch the bouquet, he'll be pushed to catch the garter, which would make things... awkward as we're only friends now, but... well... So, how do I (1) avoid the bouquet and (2) carry myself if we each catch the thrown object?
You think you've got problems.
I work with a woman whose week includes the fact that she turned forty this last Tuesday and on Saturday she's a bridesmaid at her best friend's wedding which will make my co-worker the only single woman left in her family and social circle. And adding insult to injury she's only a bridesmaid because the groom wants more groomsmen than the bride has sisters. Her "friend" the bride told her that.
So things could be worse. What you don't want to do is draw attention to how you're feeling. People won't be paying that much attention to you if you, as kidnappers tell their hostages, "just act natural" even though they've got a gun stuck in their back.
So you neither want to jump up and down madly screaming "Throw it to me! Throw it to me!" (which it doesn't sound like you're going to do anyway) or stand there sullenly with your arms crossed over your chest and your fists clenched.
Half-heartedly join in the "fun" - it is the bride's big day, after all - and if you catch it, you catch it. If you have to take 5 minutes of ribbing, so be it. Then, as LaTA suggests, find the flower girl and give the boquet to her. Or leave it on a table. Or in the ladies room. Or the trash.
And do remember that those "well meaning people" are in fact...well meaning.
Regarding your date...this is why people shouldn't have "dates" at weddings. Besides why waste your evening with someone you already know when the cousin of the groom, whom you haven't even met yet, may be perfect for you.
I don't know where this "date" thing came from. In my day we were all just "guests" and half the fun was meeting new people at the reception. I had a fabulous night once with a groomsman who was a total stranger a few short hours before.
Of course this was in the 70s and we were all more adventurous then.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
When the bouquet gets thrown just glance sideways. I have enough trouble catching something I am looking at, let alone something a can't see and I imagine most people have the same trouble.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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iGeek
Number of the Feast
# 777
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
I don't know where this "date" thing came from. In my day we were all just "guests" and half the fun was meeting new people at the reception. I had a fabulous night once with a groomsman who was a total stranger a few short hours before.
Sine, you old romantic, you. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Posts: 2150 | From: West End, Gulfopolis | Registered: Aug 2002
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
Sine (and Joyfulsoul)--
Thank you--I was moving toward that solution, but it's good to have confirmation.
Timothy
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
And adding insult to injury she's only a bridesmaid because the groom wants more groomsmen than the bride has sisters. Her "friend" the bride told her that.
She should tell her,"I don't feel comfortable ruining you big day by taking the place of somebody who might be more appropriate up there."
Three days before the wedding.
(Of course I'm kidding. but wouldn't it be lovely? )
[ 02. December 2005, 16:40: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Hold your arms up in the air but with your palms facing the floor. That way you look like you're trying, but there's no chance of catching the thing. (Be sure to stand next to the flower girl, so she can grab it before it hits the floor. And then everyone will be too busy saying, "Ah, how cute" to bug you.)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
Joyeux: When it looks like the bride is getting ready to throw the bouquet, you could slink off to the bathroom, but if people notice they might just make the bride wait for you, which would also be uncomfortable. In the US, the bride typically throws the bouquet with her back to the group of potential bouquet-catchers, so it's hard for her to aim; being at the very edge of the group on one side is a good place to be in these cases, as most people will throw something straight behind them. If the bride will be facing the group, have a word with her ahead of time and ask her not to throw it to you.
If you still end up catching it, is it really such a bad thing? You can decide ahead of time that if people say "You'll be next," you'll just laugh. And what's so terrible about someone introducing you to someone new? You might like him.
I'm 43 and single, so I sympathize. But honestly, I think it's only as awkward as you decide it will be. Take control of the situation and make your own decision about how it will play out.
On the bouquet- and garter-throwing thing more generally: the sooner these practices go away, the better. 10 years ago at a friend's wedding, every other woman forced to the middle of the room drew back when the bride threw her bouquet, and I made a last-moment catch when it was barely a foot from the floor.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Mertseger
Faerie Bard
# 4534
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
In the US, the bride typically throws the bouquet with her back to the group of potential bouquet-catchers, so it's hard for her to aim;
Which led to a hilarious moment at a friend's wedding where the bride managed to sail the bouquet over the mass of single women entirely whereupon it landed in the lap of her only ex-boyfriend who was sitting at a table some thirty feet away. Everyone had a good laugh, and the subsequent do-over went more as planned.
[ 02. December 2005, 17:34: Message edited by: Mertseger ]
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Go and be who you are:
The Body of Christ,
The Goddess of Body,
The Manifest Song of Faerie.
Posts: 1765 | From: Oakland, CA, USA | Registered: May 2003
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The Machine Elf
Irregular polytope
# 1622
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Posted
The bouquet problem may also be solved if you happen to know any really good clay-pigeon shooters.
TME
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Elves of any kind are strange folk.
Posts: 1298 | From: the edge of the deep green sea | Registered: Oct 2001
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Joyeux
Ship's Lady of Laughter
# 3851
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Posted
Wow! Great advice from everyone! I like the idea of letting the flower girl (who is the bride's niece) catch it instead. That will be very cute.
It's just that it would be hard to smuggle in the weapon needed for our prize-winning™ clay pigeon shooter, simply because it doesn't match the men's tuxedos.
Thanks! I'll let everyone know how it goes!
(And Sine, I may want to meet new people, but I don't plan to get to know any of them that quickly!)
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Float?...Do science too
Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW
In the US, the bride typically throws the bouquet with her back to the group of potential bouquet-catchers, so it's hard for her to aim;
I saw something very amusing on 'America's Funniest Home Videos'.
The bride had her back to the group and threw the bouquet over her shoulder. She threw it too high; it hit the ceiling fan and was shredded.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Jen.
Godless Liberal
# 3131
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Posted
Or tell the bride to do what I did and don't throw it.
J// Still got her bouquet in a vase in the front room
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Was Jenny Ann, but fancied being more minimal.
Posts: 5318 | From: Manchester, England | Registered: Aug 2002
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Joyeux
Ship's Lady of Laughter
# 3851
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Posted
Well, I didn't catch the bouquet, but neither did either of the flower girls. One of the other children at the reception (bridesmaid #3's stepdaughter, about 6 years old, I'd guess) did... after it bounced off my shoulder. Sheesh! I was being a good sport and standing in the group, but I was with the flower girls, one of whom held onto my hand, and it was the shoulder of that hand that the bouquet hit. So gravity took over.
The bride kept her bouquet from the ceremony, and had a second (slightly smaller one) to throw, which is something I believe many American brides do.
Otherwise, I had a great time, dancing with the groom's brother, and flirting with the best man.
Thanks again for all the advice!
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Float?...Do science too
Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
One of my neighbours, a lady who had watched me grow up, was unable to come to my wedding because she had very agressive cancer. I asked for my bouquet to be given to her. I also visited her just before my Dad and I went to the church.
Twelve years ago when I was getting married there was a quite a fashion for having the bouquet either dried or pressed. There was a story of one father of the bride being horrified at the prices for those services. So, he took the bouquet, popped it in a carrier bag and placed it under the wheels of his car! Sadly, he found that technique didn't work well.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Joyeux
Ship's Lady of Laughter
# 3851
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Posted
Dear Sine,
When going ice skating at an indoor rink, during winter, how appropriate is it, always allowing for personal temperature needs, to forego the winter coat in favor of a flattering sweater (jumper for UK) instead of said bulky jacket?
Thank you!
Joyeux
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Float?...Do science too
Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dark Knight
Super Zero
# 9415
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Posted
Dear Sine,
We have met in Hell before, and once you gave me a dressing down for swearing ("a depressing lack of imagination" may have been your words).
Then I read this and I thought "Here is a gentleman who may have some advice to offer".
I enjoy swearing. If people do or say stupid or dangerous things (like tailgate my car when the baby is travelling with us - ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif) ), I find an outburst of profanity makes me feel better and prevents me from prematurely ending the offender's life (which would be most embarrassing, since due to a less than wise username choice some on the Ship have confused me with the superhero Batman, who apparently saves lives)
It seems to me you are able to respond to situations which may provoke anger with outbursts of acerbic, often very funny, wit. Two questions:
1. Do such outbursts relieve any angry feelings?
2. How to develop such a talent?
[ 15. December 2005, 00:22: Message edited by: Dark Knight ]
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So don't ever call me lucky
You don't know what I done, what it was, who I lost, or what it cost me - A B Original: I C U
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Love is as strong as death (Song of Solomon 8:6).
Posts: 2958 | From: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road | Registered: Apr 2005
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:
I enjoy swearing.
Interesting. Why?
quote:
If people do or say stupid or dangerous things (like tailgate my car when the baby is travelling with us - ),....
Oh my. There's a baby involved.
You do realize that not so many months down the road this baby will be a toddler with verbal abilities. Toddlers echo (out loud and at random) things they have heard. If you don't want the precise wording of your feelings about your fellow drivers to suddenly interrupt something like Christmas dinner with your in-laws, you might want to consider moderating your language in front of your child.
quote:
I find an outburst of profanity makes me feel better and prevents me from prematurely ending the offender's life....
In the short run, it does work that way. But it doesn't last. The negativity of it comes back to bite you.
I found that cultivating an in-your-face "smile and be friendly" response, while not attempting to deny all the nasty thoughts actually going through one's head, worked much better.
Oddly enough, you can discover that it is possible to care about people and wish the best for them even while being firmly convinced that they are total and complete assholes.
[ 15. December 2005, 01:59: Message edited by: jlg ]
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:
It seems to me you are able to respond to situations which may provoke anger with outbursts of acerbic, often very funny, wit. Two questions:
1. Do such outbursts relieve any angry feelings?
I really don't get angry (or perhaps admit to it.) very often.
quote:
2. How to develop such a talent?
Have very low expectations of people's behavior. Then you're rarely disappointed.
I generally deal with road rage in one of two ways:
a) "Bless her heart, she didn't leave the house in time and must be terribly stressed."
b) "Golly. He sure must like his job a hell of a lot more than I like mine if he's so anxious to get to it."
I really do try to believe that everyone is doing the best they're capable of doing at a given time. I also am very aware of the often huge gap between what people say and what they actually do. I think that's where the acid tongue comes from. I think you have to have a certain world view and then cynicism will proceed naturally from it. I think most people are hypocrites and liars, although it may be themselves they are lying to.
All of that said, plenty of people around here know I can go ballistic, but if I choose not to wallow in the pleasure of self-righteous anger I don't have to.
Hope that helps. It may not be the answer you were looking for.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
[...] You do realize that not so many months down the road this baby will be a toddler with verbal abilities. Toddlers echo (out loud and at random) things they have heard.
Yes, I learned this the hard way. Eldest son was only two years old when one evening the family was watching some war flick on TV involving fighter planes. Little did we know his mental tape recorder was running.
Several days later, friends were over sharing wine while the TV was running in the background. (it happened to be a cop show on when a shot rang out) Suddenly my son leaped up, thrust both little fists in the air and screamed, GOOD KILL! ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:
Two questions:
1. Do such outbursts relieve any angry feelings?
I had to re-visit this upon further reflection.
Yes. If I can find the words or the opposite of the words which exactly describe the situation as it exists in my mind, it's much better than swearing. Because I've named it specifically, not just expressed generalized anger.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dark Knight
Super Zero
# 9415
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:
I enjoy swearing.
Interesting. Why?
Dunno. Something about living with a very repressive mother who was also, paradoxically, very abusive. Profanity was and is one of my little rebellions against her.
quote:
quote:
If people do or say stupid or dangerous things (like tailgate my car when the baby is travelling with us - ),....
Oh my. There's a baby involved.
You do realize that not so many months down the road this baby will be a toddler with verbal abilities. Toddlers echo (out loud and at random) things they have heard. If you don't want the precise wording of your feelings about your fellow drivers to suddenly interrupt something like Christmas dinner with your in-laws, you might want to consider moderating your language in front of your child.
Exactly. Hence my original post to this thread. I want to be able to relieve angry feelings without teaching the little one bad habits.
quote:
quote:
I find an outburst of profanity makes me feel better and prevents me from prematurely ending the offender's life....
In the short run, it does work that way. But it doesn't last. The negativity of it comes back to bite you.
I found that cultivating an in-your-face "smile and be friendly" response, while not attempting to deny all the nasty thoughts actually going through one's head, worked much better.
Oddly enough, you can discover that it is possible to care about people and wish the best for them even while being firmly convinced that they are total and complete assholes.
I believe you when you say that. My wife has expressed almost the exact same view. But I can't believe I will ever feel that way.
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So don't ever call me lucky
You don't know what I done, what it was, who I lost, or what it cost me - A B Original: I C U
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Love is as strong as death (Song of Solomon 8:6).
Posts: 2958 | From: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road | Registered: Apr 2005
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
Dark Knight, are the bad drivers the cause of your anger or the occasion for it?
I have the impression you may have some pent-up rage which you vent when another driver does something dangerous. If this is what is going on, you might want to try to get it out of your system when you are not driving. I don't know the best way for you to do this.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Archimandrite
Shipmate
# 3997
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I am going to a wedding in the depths of Shropshire, in the depths of winter. What colour waiscoat is appropriate? Dove-grey is more summery, and, while black would be seasonally more appropriate, they are a charming and very young couple, and I do not wish to appear even more sternly Victorian than I usually do. Would you recommend a median note of dark-grey, or something else?
NB: They are classy people, so yer day-glo Council Estate faux-silk polyester flim-flammery is utterly out of the question.
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"Loyal Anglican" (Warning: General Synod may differ).
Posts: 1580 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jan 2003
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Get your copy of 'The Tailor of Gloucester' off the shelf, Archi. At the back you will see pictures of a beautiful embroidered waistcoat, eminently suited for a Christmas wedding in the Shires (worked specifically for one, in fact). I believe you can buy them in town ready-made in one of the little shops in the arcade off Jermyn Street.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Archimandrite
Shipmate
# 3997
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
Get your copy of 'The Tailor of Gloucester' off the shelf, Archi. At the back you will see pictures of a beautiful embroidered waistcoat, eminently suited for a Christmas wedding in the Shires (worked specifically for one, in fact). I believe you can buy them in town ready-made in one of the little shops in the arcade off Jermyn Street.
Ah yes, the "coat of cherry- coloured corded silk embroidered with pansies and roses and... cream- coloured satin waistcoat" with the cherry-coloured twist for the buttonholes.
But 'tes for the mayor of Gloucester, an' 'tes he as is to be married: I am merely a guest!
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"Loyal Anglican" (Warning: General Synod may differ).
Posts: 1580 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jan 2003
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
The Mayor of Gloucester wore cream, 'tis true. But if you turn back to the beginning of the book (as well as to the final paragraphs), the author suggests very strongly that other gentlemen dressed with similar elegance.
Perhaps something in sage-green worked with different shades of Helleborus Orientalis (or even Helleborus Niger, the Christmas Rose), snowdrops, and winter aconites?
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Archimandrite:
Dear Sine,
I am going to a wedding in the depths of Shropshire, in the depths of winter. What colour waiscoat is appropriate? Dove-grey is more summery, and, while black would be seasonally more appropriate, they are a charming and very young couple, and I do not wish to appear even more sternly Victorian than I usually do. Would you recommend a median note of dark-grey, or something else?
NB: They are classy people, so yer day-glo Council Estate faux-silk polyester flim-flammery is utterly out of the question.
this looks quite jolly!
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002
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Archimandrite
Shipmate
# 3997
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
quote:
Originally posted by Archimandrite:
Dear Sine,
I am going to a wedding in the depths of Shropshire, in the depths of winter. What colour waiscoat is appropriate? Dove-grey is more summery, and, while black would be seasonally more appropriate, they are a charming and very young couple, and I do not wish to appear even more sternly Victorian than I usually do. Would you recommend a median note of dark-grey, or something else?
NB: They are classy people, so yer day-glo Council Estate faux-silk polyester flim-flammery is utterly out of the question.
this looks quite jolly!
Yerrs...
I was hoping to curb my natural instinct while not ending up in something as shockin' bad as this.
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"Loyal Anglican" (Warning: General Synod may differ).
Posts: 1580 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jan 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Aw, walk on the wild side. You know you want to.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Ginga
Ship's lurker
# 1899
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
[...] I believe you can buy them in town ready-made in one of the little shops in the arcade off Jermyn Street.
If it's the one I'm thinking of, everyone should go there and buy waistcoats immediately, wedding or no.
They are the loveliest people, incredibly helpful even though I was only interested in their cheapest goods (which were still three figures), and gave me a discount just because they knew I was a bit strapped. They also made me up a matching cravat there and then.
The rest of their range is quite terrifyingly extensive. If I could, I'd own it all.
Hurrah for the waistcoat people of Just Off Jermyn Street.
Posts: 1075 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
Obviously the waistcoat discussion is well under control without any input from moi being necessary. Without knowing the particulars of the situation though, I would caution that waistcoats look best when the waist measurement is a smaller number than the inseam measurement. I trust that is the case.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Archimandrite:
I was hoping to curb my natural instinct while not ending up in something as shockin' bad as this.
Hooray! It's Henry!
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Dark Knight
Super Zero
# 9415
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:
Two questions:
1. Do such outbursts relieve any angry feelings?
I had to re-visit this upon further reflection.
Yes. If I can find the words or the opposite of the words which exactly describe the situation as it exists in my mind, it's much better than swearing. Because I've named it specifically, not just expressed generalized anger.
My apologies Sine, I wasn't ignoring you. I appreciate your responses and particularly your honesty with regard to my request. Thanks.
BTW, I think Moo is right - bad drivers are the occasion rather than the cause of my anger. Better self care usually helps, but sometimes things get a bit busy.
Thanks everyone.
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So don't ever call me lucky
You don't know what I done, what it was, who I lost, or what it cost me - A B Original: I C U
----
Love is as strong as death (Song of Solomon 8:6).
Posts: 2958 | From: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road | Registered: Apr 2005
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Duo Seraphim
Ubi caritas et amor
# 256
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Archimandrite:
quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
quote:
Originally posted by Archimandrite:
Dear Sine,
I am going to a wedding in the depths of Shropshire, in the depths of winter. What colour waiscoat is appropriate? Dove-grey is more summery, and, while black would be seasonally more appropriate, they are a charming and very young couple, and I do not wish to appear even more sternly Victorian than I usually do. Would you recommend a median note of dark-grey, or something else?
NB: They are classy people, so yer day-glo Council Estate faux-silk polyester flim-flammery is utterly out of the question.
this looks quite jolly!
Yerrs...
I was hoping to curb my natural instinct while not ending up in something as shockin' bad as this.
Useful advice for any wedding guest: don't try to outshine the bride.
Maybe dark grey/claret squares with suitable neck wear? Fob chain and watch naturally.
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Embrace the serious whack. It's the Catholic thing to do. IngoB
The Messiah, Peace be upon him, said to his Apostles: 'Verily, this world is merely a bridge, so cross over it, and do not make it your abode.' (Bihar al-anwar xiv, 319)
Posts: 7952 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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