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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: The Ungorgiveable Sin
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by franknhonest:
Blaspheming the Holy Ghost.
Jon.
Total reprobate.
Whatever that really means. Opinions vary.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
But since there is no God, according to frank'n', then there is no holy ghost, so there can be no blaspheming him/her/it.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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franknhonest
Shipmate
# 11109
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Posted
I'm pretty sure there is a God, but I have no contact with him.
Posts: 152 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Anyway, getting back to the spirit of the OP . . .
People who fart in elevators.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
People who smoke in elevators.
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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chicklegirl
Shipmate
# 11741
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Posted
Stupid neighbors. Including, but not limited to: neighbors next door who, when a large branch from one of our trees fell into their yard, let it sit there for a week and then in a dead of night hillbilly-run sort of maneuver, hoisted it over the fence and dumped it into our yard. These are the very same neighbors who lost their parakeet during a party one night and came over wanting to use a 20-foot ladder to climb up into our large tree and retrieve the bird, when they were all three sheets to the wind (okay, so the 10 year-old who owned the bird wasn't drunk--but he wasn't going to climb the ladder, either). We called a friend who's an attorney to make sure we wouldn't be liable and then gave the neighbors our permission, hoping perhaps to do our part in flushing out the shallow end of the gene pool.
OR, the neighbors next door on the other side who have huge outdoor summer parties in their backyard that inlcude a live band complete with fully functional amps that play until after 11 p.m. when the weather is too hot to keep windows closed without any prior notification.
It's called a door, people. Come knock on it, tell me about the branch in your yard or your upcoming raucous event like a responsible grown-up, and we'll deal with it. ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
[ 13. December 2006, 23:43: Message edited by: chicklegirl ]
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If you want to be happy, be.
~ Henry David Thoreau
Posts: 916 | From: Sixth Circle of Hell | Registered: Aug 2006
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AdamPater
Sacristan of the LavaLamp
# 4431
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Posted
People who light their farts in elevators.
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Put not your trust in princes.
Posts: 4894 | From: On the left of the big pink bit. | Registered: Apr 2003
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
People who annoyingly wear flammable clothing in an elevator when I'm lighting my farts.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) RooK, Brilliant!
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Women who apply hairspray and bodyspray (you know, cologne for slappers) in the lift. I know, I've been in there when they do it.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Arcadia
Shipmate
# 12096
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Posted
Whilst we're on the subject of lifts:
People who stand too close to you in the lift. Made worse when you're the only one in it.
People (and it's bad enough if it's just dogs or cats) who wee/poo in public lifts, like the ones in the car parks, blocks of flats etc. Sorry, but that's just not acceptible.
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"Then said Christian to his fellow, Now do I see myself in error"
John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress
Posts: 92 | From: Maidenhead, UK | Registered: Nov 2006
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
(I'm astonished at the variety of things people do in lifts.)
People who want to feed the birdies, but don't want birds and bird poo in their own garden are quite unforgivable.
My mum's next door neighbor is one of those well-preserved women. You know the type, perfect makeup, perfect house, lawn ornaments displayed with military precision, mad, psychopathic eyes. We once saw her creosoting the fence in full makeup and a silk scarf.
Anyway, my mum couldn't work out why all the crows and other big birds were flocking to her garden in the mornings, annoying her with their rowdy caws and pooing everywhere. It turned out that the silk scarf lady next door was cunningly throwing all her scraps for the birds over into my mum's garden. We assume she thinks it's such an eyesore already we'd never notice.
And in fact, the only reason we did notice was that I was standing there very early one morning, minding my own business, quietly putting something in the bin, when I was unexpectedly blessed with a shower of stale bread and bacon rinds flying over the 8-foot fence.
Being properly passive-aggressive British people, we haven't actually brought the subject up with my mum's neighbor - we just bitch about her when she's not around, and occasionally make pointed comments that she might just overhear from the other side of the fence.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Correct lift/fart etiquette is of course to fart just as you leave and the doors are closing, thus trapping your victims for at least one floor.
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif) ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Arcadia
Shipmate
# 12096
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Posted
Thanks for that one, Karl. I suppose it beats doing one and then pointedly looking at someone else disapprovingly to deflect the blame (note: this only works if there's more than two of you).
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"Then said Christian to his fellow, Now do I see myself in error"
John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress
Posts: 92 | From: Maidenhead, UK | Registered: Nov 2006
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Certainly, the most unforgivable sin of all is to lean your head back and quite selfishly die during one of my funerals.
Do you not realize how long it takes me to carefully craft such a service - and on short notice at that?
And then you have the gall to spoil the mood and ambience.
Stop being so selfish - it is not all about you! Wait your turn, can't you?
Or at least, wait to die until the reception time afterwards, when people are eating teeny-tiny sandwiches and drinking weak, tepid coffee, and I have finally finished speaking.
I swear, if just one more of youse selfish buggers kicks the bucket during one of my funeral services, I am going to insist -insist - that our Board of Managers begin fundraising to install airconditioning, and keep the temperature in our sanctuary below 35C.
So there!
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Izzybee
Shipmate
# 10931
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mostly Noble Pixels:
I swear, if just one more of youse selfish buggers kicks the bucket during one of my funeral services, I am going to insist -insist - that our Board of Managers begin fundraising to install airconditioning, and keep the temperature in our sanctuary below 35C.
So there!
Ummm, so how many people have your funeral services killed so far? It had never crossed my mind that this would happen outside of a sit-com, but apparently (and thankfully) I haven't been to enough funerals...
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Hate filled bitch musings...
Posts: 1336 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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calisnenath
Apprentice
# 11927
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Posted
Putting back emply sweetie/chocolate wrappers in the box/tin that the full ones came from.
People who don't get out of the way of buggies
People who leave all their appliances on stand-by and never turn them off.
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Still seeking inspiration on this.
Posts: 35 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2006
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mostly Noble Pixels:
Certainly, the most unforgivable sin of all is to lean your head back and quite selfishly die during one of my funerals.
Do you not realize how long it takes me to carefully craft such a service - and on short notice at that?
I thought you guys just read canned sermons straight out of a manual? You know...
Dearly Beloved, We are gathered her this _DAY_ / _EVENING_ to commemorate the life
of _DECEASED_ and to honor_HIS_ / _HER_ many contributions to our lives and those of others.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Scooby-Doo
Shipmate
# 9822
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by calisnenath:
Putting back emply sweetie/chocolate wrappers in the box/tin that the full ones came from.
People who don't get out of the way of buggies
People who leave all their appliances on stand-by and never turn them off.
Guilty as charged on all three counts M'Lud.
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Friendships multiply joy and divide grief.
[URL=http://https://[/URL]
Posts: 1036 | From: Dorset | Registered: Jul 2005
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
You cretin KW!
Do you not realize how long it takes to fill in the correct name, and remember to pronounce it properly half a dozen different times in the service?
And some of these fuckers have grandchildren whose names ya gotta include as well.
And then you need to talk a bit about where they worked, and about their wonderful Forida holidays. (Okay, that part you can just repeat, everyone in this part of the country takes Florida holidays.)
But must others at the funeral get so "into" singing Nearer, My God, To Thee that they head off in that direction before the service is over?
[ 14. December 2006, 23:34: Message edited by: Mostly Noble Pixels ]
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
MNP - you made my day!
I'm frustrated as hell at a number of dimbbulbs here at work, and now I keep picturing this church full of old bastards dropping like flies in the midst of the processional.
beautiful.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by calisnenath:
Putting back emply sweetie/chocolate wrappers in the box/tin that the full ones came from.
and people who don't provide waste paper bins piss me off.
quote:
People who don't get out of the way of buggies
People who ram the back of my legs with their damned buggies instead of saying "Excuse me please" piss me off too.
quote:
People who leave all their appliances on stand-by and never turn them off.
I wear my appliance: It does not need to be turned-on. I can't imagine anyone would find it a turn-on.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mostly Noble Pixels:
Certainly, the most unforgivable sin of all is to lean your head back and quite selfishly die during one of my funerals.
Do you not realize how long it takes me to carefully craft such a service - and on short notice at that?
And then you have the gall to spoil the mood and ambience.
Stop being so selfish - it is not all about you! Wait your turn, can't you?
Or at least, wait to die until the reception time afterwards, when people are eating teeny-tiny sandwiches and drinking weak, tepid coffee, and I have finally finished speaking.
I swear, if just one more of youse selfish buggers kicks the bucket during one of my funeral services, I am going to insist -insist - that our Board of Managers begin fundraising to install airconditioning, and keep the temperature in our sanctuary below 35C.
So there!
You know, MNP, if it happened once, you'd call it rude. But if it's happening all the time, then maybe you have to ask yourself whether your preaching style is a tad .... erm .... lethal.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Mind you, if we could get the stupid moose off the road, maybe they wouldn't have a bad scare for their hearts before arriving for the big day.
All summer long, reports of black bears on the golf course; all fall, moose along the side of the highway - no wonder the old farts' are ready to toss in the towel!
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Even though you've arrived in the theater to take your seat in the center of the row just as the lights are going down, I'm perfectly willing to stand and let you in. On the other hand, just standing there without speaking, or attempting to barge in stepping on feet, isn't going to get you anywhere. Is it too much to expect you to say, "Excuse me"?
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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Low Treason
Shipmate
# 11924
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Otter:
We've been living here for almost 8 years. I have not rearranged the contents of the cupboards since moving in. This pan, that colander, and the mixing bowl can be found (or put away) in the same places as last week.
HAH!! And thats another thing. I know where I put things, and if Someone comes along and 'tidies' it up, I do not welcome the answer to my legitimate enquiry 'where's xxx?' with the answer 'oh, its around somewhere..."
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He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love.
Posts: 1914 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2006
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Arcadia:
People who stand too close to you in the lift. Made worse when you're the only one in it.
Indeed. Nothing worse than being alone in a lift and then being crowded by Unseen People. Actually, the story is that there was once a crowded lift, but everyone in it was killed by a mysterious methane explosion. They've replaced the lift, but still, especially late at night, there's the sense of wedged bodies, and a strange, elusive odour...
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
People who don't get out of the way of buggies
People who ram the back of my legs with their damned buggies instead of saying "Excuse me please" piss me off too.
But the worst people of all are the ones who, when you politely say "excuse me, please", just look at you blankly then turn back and continue their conversation and blocking the doorway.
Those are the people the baby Jesus says you are allowed to ram with your buggy. It's a rule.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Low Treason
Shipmate
# 11924
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by calisnenath:
Putting back emply sweetie/chocolate wrappers in the box/tin that the full ones came from.
And used matches in the match box
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He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love.
Posts: 1914 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2006
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by My Duck:
I know where I put things, and if Someone comes along and 'tidies' it up, I do not welcome the answer to my legitimate enquiry 'where's xxx?' with the answer 'oh, its around somewhere..."
Hmph! My family has learnt that if they haven't put things away themselves it's no use bleating to me about where I might have tidied them.
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
People (usually men) who sit on the Underground with their legs crossed with one ankle resting on the other knee, in such a way that the dirty sole of their foot sticks out into the aisle so as to wipe the clothing of anyone trying to get past.
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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alienfromzog
Ship's Alien
# 5327
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mostly Noble Pixels:
Certainly, the most unforgivable sin of all is to lean your head back and quite selfishly die during one of my funerals.
Now, forgive me for being suspicious but,
1. You seem, Mostly Noble Pixels, to be inferring that this has happened to you more than once?
2. Now correct me if I'm wrong but you receive financial remuneration for performing such services?
3. Given that, is it not clear that there is a conflict of interest here? In fact it presumably serves your business model well if one guest at each funeral dies - that could keep you in new cassocks for years could it not?
4. It is clear to me and I presume to all Right-Minded People™ that your protestation on this thread is merely a pathetic attempt to cover-up your own sins.
One further question your honour.
Have you at any time, Mostly Noble Pixels, been behind a Grassy Knoll™ in Texas?
The unforgivable sin?
Perhaps it's people who take a joke too far?
AFZ
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Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]
An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)
Posts: 2150 | From: Zog, obviously! Straight past Alpha Centauri, 2nd planet on the left... | Registered: Dec 2003
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
I don't wear a cassock, you silly shit, it makes me look too much like a hassock.
I see by your profile that you are a doctor - or claim to be one.
Are you, by any chance, a proctologist?
Because you appear to see the world through rose-coloured asses.
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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alienfromzog
Ship's Alien
# 5327
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mostly Noble Pixels:
I don't wear a cassock, you silly shit, it makes me look too much like a hassock.
I see by your profile that you are a doctor - or claim to be one.
Are you, by any chance, a proctologist?
Because you appear to see the world through rose-coloured asses.
Dear Mostly Noble Pixels
I am sorry for suggesting you wear a cassock.
I am infact a doctor. For what it's worth I have 3 pieces of paper to prove it.
I am not a proctologist (we don't use that term in the UK - it would be colo-rectal surgeon and I'm not one of those either).
What do you mean that I see the world through rose-coloured asses? I in no way object to being insulted, I would just like to understand what you mean?
AFZ
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Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]
An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)
Posts: 2150 | From: Zog, obviously! Straight past Alpha Centauri, 2nd planet on the left... | Registered: Dec 2003
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