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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: AS: Shipmates Expecting 2006
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ye Olde Motherboarde:
quote:
And Bronwyn is due too?
Im not due til July 18th a bit behind Flausa, but I KNOW I am having my baby on the 4th July, which is 2 weeks early, but I guess I wanted to celebrate independance day for the baby.(I am not American though)
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Fool of a Took:
Or the ones who would ask 'when are you due' and then take a big step backwards when the answer was "Thursday"... as if I was going to suddenly drop a baby on their shoes.
My Mam and my Aunt Isobel were both around 8 months pregnant when my Aunt Jean got married. It is traditional in Scotland to get married, have a large dinner with all of the wedding guests and then to have a dance afterward.
No-one, but no-one, would ask my Mam and Isobel to dance. In the end they decided that sisters should do it for themselves. Apparently it was quite the sight to see, two hugely pregnant women dancing the Gay Gordons. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) The family doctor was also at the wedding, and his eyes never left the pair of them whilst they were on the dance floor.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Pants
Emergency underwear
# 999
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by AdamPater:
Why is it that any conversation amongst new parents sooner or later turns to poo? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
(I'm sure RooK would have a name for it.)
Cos that's what being a new parent is all about?
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♣ Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us. ♣
I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.
Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003
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Fool of a Took
chock full o' nuts
# 7412
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by AdamPater:
Why is it that any conversation amongst new parents sooner or later turns to poo?
There's even a theme song
Posts: 1205 | From: Toronto-ish | Registered: Jun 2004
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Tropical Beachcomber
Shipmate
# 9009
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Posted
Brilliant, Took! It's not just women who get 'parental porridge brain', which is good to know.
Good luck, Flausa. ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
Posts: 157 | From: south of the river | Registered: Jan 2005
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Melisande
Shipmate
# 4177
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
Apparently it was quite the sight to see, two hugely pregnant women dancing the Gay Gordons.
Brilliant! An also-pregnant friend and I danced together a few times back in the spring, and many jokes were made about us being our own two-couple set.
I was a bridesmaid when 8 1/2 months pregnant with baby #2, and everyone kept pushing their cell phone numbers on me in case I had to flee the ceremony.
And yes, the "still here?"/"better not see you next week!" comments wear thin very quickly.
And after my first, I cried and cried the day I accidentally put a dark sock in with the white load of laundry. Post-natal hormones are crazy nuts.
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The door itself makes no promises.
It is only a door.
-- Adrienne Rich
Posts: 302 | From: The western Main Line | Registered: Feb 2003
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
For all the new mummys and soon to be mummys who will experience posy baby hormones on the ship.
Post Natal Depression runs in my family and it is one of the few things that scares me about having a baby.
On the other hand my sister is due to pop out number 2 any day now (beeb will prolly be prem and has a growth on its lung ) and though she suffers from depression she has never been more stable than when she has been pregnant and a mummy...the hormones seem to work FOR her.
![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
quote:
And after my first, I cried and cried the day I accidentally put a dark sock in with the white load of laundry. Post-natal hormones are crazy nuts. [/QB]
Yes that is depression. Sean had a school camp recently and was frightened to leave me. I have been really struggling with that sort of thing and yes it can be something as silly as that which ruins my day. Sean really worries when I come home from work as it is most likely to happen then as I have much more contact with people and well sometimes Joe public isn't going to stop being annoying because I am in a uniform I am meant to take abuse(apparently)
Really dreading the post natal depression which is most likely to kick in. I know for a fact if I increased the AD a lot of these feelings would go but I also know the drug isn't 100% safe for baby so I am keeping a lid on it with half my normal dose.
Can't imagine dancing at 8 1/2 months pregnant but hey the baby would be full term so if something did happen it wouldn't be the end of the world.
All new parents talk about poo, I guess as it for me is overwelling I read a brestfeed baby may pooo after every feed!!!! That is up to 15 times a day if I read the other bit right.
Speaking of brestfeeding I have joined the Brestfeeding Association of Australia and been reading a lot. Does anyone else intend to brestfeed?
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
The ratling is a fortnight old today! He is being breastfed and poos a lot. (He also particularly enjoys peeing when his nappy is taken off, in great dramatic arcs across the room).
But it isn't terribly nasty poo, and doesn't smell particularly offensive. Just yellow muck, and quite easy to deal with. I've read this is typical of breastfed babies.
His only real poo moment so far was when we were taking him to visit relatives, all dressed in his very best clothes. Just before we were due to leave, he managed to poo right up his back and down his legs, all over his lovely outfit, something he's never done before or since! He knows, I tell you.
On the subject of baby blues, I had a really shaky weekend. Partly hormonal I'm sure, partly being in more or less constant pain, partly just the pressure of so many visitors stressing me out. (It is a mystery to me how so many people can lecture you endlessly about getting enough rest and sleeping whenever you get the chance, while completely oblivious to the fact that they are stopping you doing exactly that.) It all boiled up on Saturday when I cried for hours and hours, convinced I was such a bad mother that Mr Rat and family wanted to lure the ratling off the breast and onto a bottle to get him away from me. On Sunday I dropped my lunch on the floor and that set off another day of tears and feeling incompentent.
Things seem to be getting much better this week, though. My various sore bits are beginning to ease off, so I feel less like an invalid and can walk and sit without flinching. And we've enforced a visit ban on the family for at least a week (so everybody hates us now, but at least I have room to breathe and can get used to looking after the wee one without a critical audience).
It feels like I'm learning to work around his demands now rather than being run ragged by them. Yesterday I even managed to clean the bedroom and bathroom, so even though the rest of the house is a wreck there's a little oasis of order ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
Sorry to double post, but I just realised how negative that last post sounded. We have had lots of fun too!
The Ratling sleeps very well once he goes off, we've never had to get up more than once during the night. The health visitor says his feeding pattern is perfectly normal for a baby who plans to sleep most of the night - that's why he's particular demanding late evening and first thing in the morning. She also says he is thriving so he's obviously feeding well and getting all the milk he needs.
He loves his bath, and going out in his pram - good fun now that I can walk more than a few yards without feeling like my insides are going to drop out.
He's also getting more alert by the day. He often stays awake for a while after a feed and looks around him instead of going straight off to sleep. He focuses on our faces, turns towards our voices, and seems to be fascinated by anything with bright contrasting colours.
There've been a few trials, but he's definitely worth it
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
(((Rat))) I can't believe he's two weeks already! They grow up so fast!
I think I'm becoming more and more thankful that I don't have much family close by to pester us. And our building has a buzz-in entry system, so people can't get up to our door unless I'm in the mood to let them in. Visits by appointment only, subject to cancellation by mum and baby.
Oh, and Bronwyn, I'm planning to breastfeed, but don't plan to join our local "club," as their meeting times/locations are stupid inconvenient for me. Besides, they seem to put good in-home support in place with the midwives and health visitors, and I can always call on my emergency, back-up health visitor, Jack the Lass. I've also received a bazillion how-to pamphlets and a DVD (which I'll watch one of these days).
I know the best reason to breastfeed is for the baby's health, but personally I'm keen on the added benefits of free baby food and less smelly poo.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Sorry to double post, but I just realised how negative that last post sounded. We have had lots of fun too!
That's the thing with these baby blues - if I let on how I feel, I then have to follow it up by saying, but I'm happy really, and I love Beeb, in case people think I'm a bad mother. I probably am not a very good mother, but as I am the only one Beeb has, I'm also the best one he has.
Re breastfeeding I think the advice they give you before the birth rather underplays the fact that it can hurt quite a lot - and this doesn't necessarily mean you are doing it wrong. I have had midwives and breastfeeding counsellors check how Beeb is latched on, and he is fine, but my breasts still get sore sometimes at the end of a hungry day.
Also, breastfeeding him when he was newborn was nothing like what I was told beforehand. He had a small mouth (well, he was a tiny baby!) and I have big breasts, so I had to pull out my nipple into a mouth-sized portioned to get him latched on. My mother was very reassuring, but if I had been relying on the leaflets and the antenatal advice, I would never have managed it.
Hope you're all doing OK. Beeb is now more than 6 weeks and is being weighed today.
Best wishes
Posy
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Posy:
That's the thing with these baby blues - if I let on how I feel, I then have to follow it up by saying, but I'm happy really, and I love Beeb, in case people think I'm a bad mother. I probably am not a very good mother, but as I am the only one Beeb has, I'm also the best one he has.
I'm sure you are a very good mother.
I have to say, though, I'm not so much concerned with being thought a bad mother (not today, anyway ![[Smile]](smile.gif) ) as I am with depressing and pissing off the mums-to-be, who's thread this is. I was made livid in the last couple of months of pregancy by people telling me horror stories that seemed to imply, with varying degrees of glee, that I'd ruined my life. I found this very aggravating at a time when I was already feeling vulnerable and sometimes wondering whether I'd made a huge mistake that it was far too late to back out of.
I don't think it's good to pretend all is rosy or lie, of course, but I do think it's good to be balanced too, and I know I have a tendency to play up the disasters in any situation at the expense of the good things. And for me, so far, it has been worth it. (Even the stitches... hmm, well maybe not them)
I do agree about the breastfeeding though, I don't think they warn you how much it can hurt and the emphasis on saying 'well that means you're doing it wrong' doesn't seem entirely helpful or completely realistic. I think what sometimes happens is that one early imperfectly positioned feed damages your nipple, but then every feed after that aggravates it again and hurts like hell - which makes it difficult to tell whether you're doing it right or not, as well as making your heart sink when feeding time comes around. Like you, I've had quite a lot of pain on one side, despite being assured by midwives and health visitors that the Ratling is correctly latching on and getting good feeds. It seems to be getting better now, thank goodness.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693
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Posted
I'm not put off by posts like yours Rat, I think it's good to have realistic expectations of how things can be after the birth. I'm good at setting unrealistic goals for myself so it is helpful to know that it is ok and normal to have difficulties coping with the new situation. You don't make having a newborn sound exceptionally horrible in any way!
The tone in your post was not "ooo, here's another story of how horribly wrong everything can go", just a realistic account of how you are experiencing things.
But I have a sincere urge to shake your insensitive visitors, as well as my "well meaning" colleague who keeps telling me horror stories about deliveries and stillborn babies. At least my male colleagues try to hush her when she gets started, for which I am very grateful.
Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003
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Moth
Shipmate
# 2589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
His only real poo moment so far was when we were taking him to visit relatives, all dressed in his very best clothes. Just before we were due to leave, he managed to poo right up his back and down his legs, all over his lovely outfit, something he's never done before or since! He knows, I tell you.
SC was given a little frilly romper suit in a very small size by my mother. She never saw him in it, because whenever I put it on, he'd either poo, pee or posset on it within 5 minutes! On one occasion, I literally put it on as they left to visit us, and they live 10 minutes away, but he still soiled it in time!
ShadoK said it was him showing early good taste in clothing. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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"There are governments that burn books, and then there are those that sell the libraries and shut the universities to anyone who can't pay for a key." Laurie Penny.
Posts: 3446 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2002
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
Well so much activity today on this thread. Rat you are in my thoughts and prayers as you cope with Ratling.
Breastfeeding I always thought wasn't easy I guess joining the local group was also a way of meeting other mums around here as well I don't know many. Was very excited to see a tiny bit of colostrum on my brests in the last 24 hours. Only a drop but enough to excite me. Guess up here a little nervous about the health professionals. Some have been well midwifes for years stuck in a country hospital. I just want support. Well worth the $50 (approx 20 pounds) I believe.
Had a phone call from a friend today who is so sweet but was extreamly concerned when I mentioned I was in agonizing pain, to the point when even lifting a 2kg container out of the trolley sent shooting pains in my abdo and back. Shouldn't have been shopping all all but were needed a few things. Even walking has been painful. She convinced me to ring the hospital. Spend an hour and a half with a dr and midwife who did all sorts of tests and eventually suggested nothing was wrong with baby but I take a drug which I have had in the past and am sensitive too. I was willing to give it a go til I came home tonight and looked it up in my book of drugs in pregnancy given to me by a fellow nurse. The side effect is harm to baby's renal system in the 3rd trimester. Hence I have given it a miss and am in aganizing pain until I ring for advise tomorrow from where my gyne suggested I call about my anti depressent. Ie the womens hospital in Melbourne.
Most up to date researched info avalible. I am sure it is just scar tissue and although uncomfortable isn't worth risk to baby.
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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Pants
Emergency underwear
# 999
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
I think I'm becoming more and more thankful that I don't have much family close by to pester us. And our building has a buzz-in entry system, so people can't get up to our door unless I'm in the mood to let them in. Visits by appointment only, subject to cancellation by mum and baby.
The only way to do it!
quote:
I know the best reason to breastfeed is for the baby's health, but personally I'm keen on the added benefits of free baby food and less smelly poo.
Ohh yes. Damn good reason.
Nip cream is an essential for breastfeeding. And those who say if you're doing it right it wont hurt at all are talking out of their arse. Most womens nipples aren't used to being sucked on that much, of course they're gonna bloody hurt until they 'harden' up.
[ 10. May 2006, 18:48: Message edited by: Pânts ]
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♣ Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us. ♣
I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.
Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
Bron, those midwives are probably the best people around!
I found creams dreadfully unhelpful - made my nipples wet and more sore. In the end I just gave up on maternity bras (DON'T get the ones with zips if they still make them! Just DON'T, ok??! ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) ) and wore tee-shirts which were easy access for the baby and weren't spoilt by copious amounts of milk. They also let my nipples dry out between feeds (which wasn't long). Breast pads just kept them moist and sore. (I don't mean when I was out anywhere, of course! I wore bras then...)
So excited for you Bron! Hope the pain is better soon. Good that you are careful about the baby; my Mum was a nurse and had dreadful morning sickness with me but refused the new wonder drug they offered her 'just in case'. There were LOTS of thalidomide babies the year I was born.
[ 10. May 2006, 22:10: Message edited by: Vikki Pollard ]
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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004
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busyknitter
Shipmate
# 2501
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Posted
Trouble with breastfeeding is that what works for one, doesn't help at all for another. i could not have survived the early days of feeding without both a decent bra and the nipple cream.
Busyknitter's product endorsement is here . It was fantastic and provided instant relief. You can get it at any decent chemists (though i think it may be a UK-only product).
All the best to all you soon to be Mums
BK
[ 11. May 2006, 05:40: Message edited by: busyknitter ]
Posts: 903 | From: The Wool Basket | Registered: Mar 2002
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Suze
Ship's Barmaid
# 5639
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Posted
I'm just catching up with events here - congrats on baby Ratling, Rat, it's been so good to read of your first couple of weeks with him.
I didn't realise you were due so soon Flausa, prayers that all goes well for you both.
for all the new mums and mums-to-be posting here.
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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell
Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004
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Gracious rebel
Rainbow warrior
# 3523
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Posted
I'll second Busyknitter's recommendation for nipple cream. And it has a really nice smell.
Like her I could not imagine surviving without a bra in those early days - I even used to wear a 'sleep bra' at night. I guess this was mainly to hold the 'breast pads' in place.
I fact I didn't buy breast pads as I found a cheaper alternative. i dunno if you can still get it, but 16 years ago there used to be a product called nappy roll - designed as a disposable insert for terry nappies I think, to absorb the bulk of the mess. I found that if I cut this into squares of half the width of the roll, it made cheap and very absorbant breast pads. Which for someone with leaky boobs like me was a godsend (do other people experience leaking heavily from the other breast when you are feeding from the first one - or was that a personal quirk of my body?!)
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Fancy a break beside the sea in Suffolk? Visit my website
Posts: 4413 | From: Suffolk UK | Registered: Nov 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
(do other people experience leaking heavily from the other breast when you are feeding from the first one - or was that a personal quirk of my body?!)
It happened to me too. I found that the leakage problems stopped after a couple of months, but found washable breast pads great until then.
If you are going to use washable breast pads it is good idea to get a little laundry bag. I didn't use one, and a breast pad slipped between the drum and the seal and cause problems with the spin cycle. The engineer said that he has seen washines ruined by breast pads.
I was just thinking, if you were to write a manual for visitors, what would you put in it?
My entry would be only stay for a max of 20 mins (unless the mother pleads with you) and always at least offer to make a cup of tea or do the dishes.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Fool of a Took
chock full o' nuts
# 7412
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Posted
Add to the manual:
If you think muffins or cookies or sandwiches are an essential part of visiting, bring some muffins or cookies or sandwiches, and serve them yourself.
Posts: 1205 | From: Toronto-ish | Registered: Jun 2004
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
I was last pregnant thirty-five years ago. To prepare for breastfeeding I massaged my nipples with Masse cream two or three times a day, starting about eight weeks before my due date.
The cream is specifically designed to toughen a woman's nipples and make them more flexible. It works very well.
The other important point is not to let the baby suck very long the first few days. There's no milk there anyway, so you're not depriving him of food.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
I come from a breastfeeding family (again, we're cheap ). My sister had a fairly easy time breastfeeding her three. She said the worst bit was when my niece (her eldest) started getting her teeth (she had teeth very early ... no hair, but nice teeth), and during some eager feeds starting chewing rather than sucking. Yowch!
[ 11. May 2006, 14:27: Message edited by: Flausa ]
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pants
Emergency underwear
# 999
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gracious rebel:
I'll second Busyknitter's recommendation for nipple cream. And it has a really nice smell.
I said it first! But yes, Kamillosan is the best!
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♣ Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us. ♣
I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.
Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
My manual for visitors would suggest that they do what Babybear says, and also offer to:
hoover (vacuum)
mop the kitchen floor
iron (only if they're good at it).
Also, that if the visitor has a cold, the visitor should stay home. Do not suggest that you are helping Baby to build a strong immune system.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Suze
Ship's Barmaid
# 5639
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Posted
Also, if you're a close friend and they are comfortable with you looking after nipper for an hour or so, offer to babysit while mum has a shower/nap/whatever else she hasn't been able to do. I've had a few friends who have told me they really appreciated it.
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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell
Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004
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Pants
Emergency underwear
# 999
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Posted
Oh, and get them to bring a meal with them. I had a few who did that, and it was wonderful!!!
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♣ Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us. ♣
I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.
Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003
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busyknitter
Shipmate
# 2501
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Posted
Recently, when a member of our congregation had her third baby, church arranged a meals rota for the first 2-3 weeks. It seemed to work well (especially as word got back to me that they liked my lasagne best )
BK
Posts: 903 | From: The Wool Basket | Registered: Mar 2002
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
Beginning to thank God my mother sees it as her responsability to come up here for a couple of weeks and do ALL the house work, cooking and so on until I establish a routine and I am lucky now as I can tell her I need time alone. She will also serve all visitors drinks and so on. Worried it might be too much but I think I can tell her to have a rest.
Just back from Drs who was also shocked I was suggested I have the drug that was suggested and a phone call to the experts suggested it can cause a babys heart to close in the valves, kidney problems and something about labor. Got back to me having what I suggested originally and that is considered safe.
Managed to go to the brestfeedng night last night but was very uncomfortable. Here in Australia we have a product called Lansinoh which is get this: Australian and New Zealand Refined Wool fat, Refined in the UK and packed in Canada and Australia. I was told no preparation is necessary or recomended but I have been rubbing this onto my brests for weeks now once a day as they look dry. Most people do not need anything but it is suggested when you are feeding to put a little bit of milk on the brest and let it dry before covering with a bra. Also make sure the baby is lached on well as the midwife shows you. If you leave baby incorrectly to suck the brest will be sore.
On another front today I managed to lose both a reciept to claim money back from the govt for healthcare, I managed to break down in the chemmist picking up the medication as I was told I needed a card I also managed to have given someone who asked for it and then forgot to give it back. I was in so much pain when she sent me away to get it I told her I couldn't and pointed out I didn't need t for the script which she argued with me(I was right being a nurse I know how things work she just asked for it routinly). Then told me to go straight back, to which I said I couldn't I was in too much pain. All this in front of a pharmist I knew as well as a relative of a client. Got home, phoned both places and they are both in the post. I have not had to get in and out of my car three tomes which is so straining and painful currently.
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Glad to hear your mother will be around to help out during the first weeks, Bronwyn.
I can't imagine coping with all the visitors and such people are describing. And I was happily up and doing things within hours of having my kids. But you need that initial few weeks to get your body and sleep schedule meshed with the baby's needs. Which in plain English means when the baby is asleep, the only choice you should be making is "Do I need to sleep now too or do I want to get something done?".
No wonder new mothers seemed so stressed and have trouble breastfeeding and whatnot if people are expecting them to be gracious hostesses immediately post-partum!
Rat's post brought back memories of those first breastfeeding days -- settling the sore and stitched nether-regions gingerly down on the pillow in the chair, followed by the grimace of pain as the little barracuda latched onto the sore nipple.
I guess because I had watched my mother nurse my younger sister (when I was six) and my older sister nurse her babies (when I was a teen), I knew that nursing was a pleasant and relaxing thing once established, and worth every second of the initial pains.
I still miss it to this very day and I'm 54. When they're tiny, they heave this wonderful sigh of total contentment after they fall asleep and let go (or you detach them). When they're older they look up at you while nursing and sometimes smile (and thus lose their hold on the nipple ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ) and they pat and stroke your breast with their little hand. *sigh*
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but I do want to encourage the new moms to find the courage (or a suitable watchdog to chase them away) to deflect the useless visitors and take the time to give breastfeeding and bonding with the baby all the immense time and attention it requires.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Moth
Shipmate
# 2589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by busyknitter:
Recently, when a member of our congregation had her third baby, church arranged a meals rota for the first 2-3 weeks. It seemed to work well (especially as word got back to me that they liked my lasagne best )
BK
Our congregation did that for me when Sc was born. It lasted a fortnight. One week we had spaghetti bolognaise three times! I certainly found out who the best cooks were!
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"There are governments that burn books, and then there are those that sell the libraries and shut the universities to anyone who can't pay for a key." Laurie Penny.
Posts: 3446 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2002
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Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693
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Posted
It sounds as if I'd better plan to place Caid at the door with a big stick (or his kung fu sword!) to chase any visitors away.
I thought the baby should be kept away from other people during the first weeks because of risk of infections. Or is that just for the premature ones? My colleague just had a baby who was three weeks early and they didn't even let relatives visit in the beginning.
Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but I do want to encourage the new moms to find the courage (or a suitable watchdog to chase them away) to deflect the useless visitors and take the time to give breastfeeding and bonding with the baby all the immense time and attention it requires.
Any time you want a job as watchdog to chase away visitor, you're hired! Feel free to bring your favourite deflecting weapon of choice.
Not sure how I feel about having meals brought to us. Both hubby and I really enjoy cooking and find it one of the few "chores" that help us to relax. I am going to try to put aside some meals in the freezer, which means I've had the chance to cook, it'll be something that we know we'll like to eat, but still be a quick meal if that's what we need/want. Though if Jack the Lass wants to bring us more of her scrummy flapjacks, she is more than welcome.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Heh. As well as providing the Cresswells with yummy pudding, this week I have also discussed how to potty train toddlers with my sister and just got off the phone after a London-based friend with a 6 week old baby called me for advice about sleep and feeding. I still haven't finished my ****** essay though. Argh.
Perhaps I should start charging for my services
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
Jack, how 'bout we say a goat cheese and roast garlic tart makes us even this week and a new lettuce patch puts on a start for next week?
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moth:
quote:
Originally posted by busyknitter:
Recently, when a member of our congregation had her third baby, church arranged a meals rota for the first 2-3 weeks. It seemed to work well (especially as word got back to me that they liked my lasagne best )
BK
Our congregation did that for me when Sc was born. It lasted a fortnight. One week we had spaghetti bolognaise three times! I certainly found out who the best cooks were!
Mental note dont make spag bol if making for someone in the church then.
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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The Kat in the Hat
Shipmate
# 2557
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Posted
I was the first from my family to produce offspring. Apparently when my sisters told my mum they would going to visit, my mum said something along the lines of "you will not be a visitor, you will find someting helpful to do around the house - and take lunch with you!".
I did appreciate that (although I didn't know that was what had been said until much later!)
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Less is more ...
Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
Spag bol and breastfeeding... hmmm.
Not a good combo if my memory serves me correctly.
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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004
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Pants
Emergency underwear
# 999
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Posted
Indeed Vikki. Even having had the spag chopped up, I still left half of it over myself and the floor! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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♣ Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us. ♣
I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.
Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
About 10 seconds after I sat down to eat a meal the baby would need to be fed. Then my plate was pushed over to Gremlin so he could cut up my meal. After a few weeks I got rather adept at managing to eat dinner one-handed.
Pizza was a good thing as it can easily be eaten one-handed. Pasta things seemed to have the ability to slide of the fork. This was especially true if I was wearing a white top.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Annie P
Ship's galley maid
# 3453
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Posted
I breast fed exclusively for about 3 weeks or so, by which time, the two hour feeding sessions were starting to really do my head in. Sometimes it was ok, but for the majority it was quite stressful for me and little one. He never seemed to get enough and wouldn't go down to sleep easily. As soon as we started to put a bottle in, he was so much more contented, and I was happier too.
I still think that breast is best, but at the same time, if you're going to be miserable, I wouldn't blame anyone for going onto bottles.
If we have another one, I will try again, but I'm not going to get my knickers in a twist about it. I have heard that with some babies it works well, and with others it's much more like Matthew and me. I suppose it's just the way things go.
(Little nipper has just started on solids, and is sleeping ALL through the night - 7 till 7. Hurrah!)
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Older now, but not necessarily wiser.
Posts: 3248 | From: stockton-on-tees | Registered: Oct 2002
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
Annie, you mean we're not all the same, and one person's experience or "expertise" won't work for everyone? How on earth, can anyone ever do this motherhood thing right? ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) Oh wait, you engage your brain (and your partner's brain, if you aren't a single parent), discard the well-meant but crap advice, and find what works best for your family. Annie, I keep meaning to tell you that I have a great deal of respect for making the decision that was right for you and Matthew, regardless of what other people might think or say. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Annie P
Ship's galley maid
# 3453
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Posted
Thanks Flausa, you are right. What I think I was trying to say was that breast feeding might not work. I hope it does work, but if it doesn't, don't beat yourself up about it. Little one and you might both be better off on bottles. It's something you have to decide, don't let anyone pressure you into doing one or the other.
The single most important thing in this whole baby rearing is that you are happy and baby is happy (as far as possible). If there are things which you can change to make that possible, then do it. You don't get a medal for being brave, just for the sake of it, in parenting. (And that goes for labour and birth too).
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Older now, but not necessarily wiser.
Posts: 3248 | From: stockton-on-tees | Registered: Oct 2002
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Moth
Shipmate
# 2589
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Posted
I'd absolutely second what Annie says. I had a similar experience with breastfeeding - I tried very hard, but within a few weeks it was clearly not working well enough. As I look at my strapping great six-foot tall elder son now, I do wonder why I beat myself up so much at the time, fearing I'd ruin his life by not succeeding at breast-feeding!
I tried again with my second son, but he was prescribed anibiotics at about a week old, which upset his stomach and led to all kinds of feeding problems. I got even more het up about him, as his weight crawled along at the bottom of the charts, and he refused milk in any and all of its forms. Suddenly, at about a year old, he started eating normally, and at 12 he is if anything a little too plump - I'm watching his snack intake! I can't quite believe I used to fear that he'd starve to death because I wasn't feeding him properly.
One of the great benefits of living in the civilised west is that we have clean water and can sterilise bottles. So, if you really can't get on with breast alone, there is a perfectly adequate alternative.
You have to be a good-enough parent, not a perfect one. You will make mistakes, and circumstances out of your control will affect what happens, but if you love your child and you have an ounce of common sense, it will all work out in the long run.
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"There are governments that burn books, and then there are those that sell the libraries and shut the universities to anyone who can't pay for a key." Laurie Penny.
Posts: 3446 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2002
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
I agree with you all. While I'm perfectly convinced that breast is best, loads of stress and misery are definitely not best. It's got to be best to do what works for you and the baby.
I think it's worth bearing in mind that when I was born, the experts here didn't encourage breastfeeding at all, and women who insisted on it (my mum was actually called 'disgusting and unnatural' by one of the nurses in maternity!) were strongly advised to stop after 6 weeks. There was no support for breastfeeding mums, and no acceptance of public feeding. The result being that most of my generation either weren't breastfed or only for a short time - yet I don't see any huge drop in IQ, health or life expectancy among 30-somethings. So I'm betting that while the benefits of breastfeeding are surely real, they're not the matter of life and death we're currently lead to believe.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pants
Emergency underwear
# 999
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Posted
Well I think the only way is to breastfeed.
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Just kidding!
No, really, I am just kidding. Having seen friends going through trauma like Annie, whatever's best for baby and mum.
You see, I'm paranoid now... you do know I'm just kidding don't you?!! ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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♣ Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us. ♣
I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.
Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Just a word of support for all the new mommies and almost-mommies. I just wanted to add that, if you get baby started on it right away, you might have the option of doing both breast- and bottle-feeding. I did this with my firstborn, giving her a bottle around 5 pm when we were both tired and cranky. It also lets dad in on the feeding routine, so he can enjoy it too. Firstborn was able to take both formula and pumped milk in the bottle. It made it easier to transition to day care when my maternity leave was over. Not all babies will cooperate with alternating, though -- her younger brother would have no part of it. (At eighteen, he's still a stubborn pup - bless his heart .)
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tom Day
Ship's revolutionary
# 3630
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
It also lets dad in on the feeding routine, so he can enjoy it too.
It's great! I remember feeling left out when I couldn't help with the feeding and a bit useless. However, now I love feeding him - especially the solids - quite fun
Tom
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My allotment blog
Posts: 6473 | From: My Sofa | Registered: Dec 2002
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