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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: AS: Shipmates Expecting 2006
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Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693
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Posted
I've got a question about work... how long did you stay at home /do you plan to stay home before going back to work? How long is the maternity leave in the UK? Does the dad get to stay home any?
I'm trying to get my head around what I want to do, since I have the opportunity to be flexible... we have a very generous leave-system for parents here in Sweden. So I'm really interested in your thoughts!
Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Light:
I've got a question about work... how long did you stay at home /do you plan to stay home before going back to work? How long is the maternity leave in the UK? Does the dad get to stay home any?
I'm trying to get my head around what I want to do, since I have the opportunity to be flexible... we have a very generous leave-system for parents here in Sweden. So I'm really interested in your thoughts!
In the UK mothers are statutorily entitled to 6 months of paid maternity leave, and another 6 months unpaid.
[ETA: most people that I know have gone back after 6 months and not used the second, unpaid, period which is a fairly new entitlement.]
Not full pay, though. The statutory entitlement is 6 weeks at approx 90% of salary; the rest of the leave on statutory maternity pay of approx £100 a week. The company claims most of this expense back from the government (or if it qualifies as a small company can claim back over 100%). The father is entitled to 2 weeks of paternity leave, which can be taken at any time during the first 2 years of the child's life (I think). This is, IIRC, at 90% pay for 2 days, then £100 a week for the rest of the fortnight.
Many professional jobs will contractually offer better terms than this - I know people who get 6 months on full pay, or 12 weeks full pay, 12 weeks half-pay. This is usually considered an incentive to attract the best people, and may also be tied to some contractual obligation on the part of the employee such as continuing to work for the company for some period of time after leave.
My company have only offered statutory terms, which frankly I found a little insulting. They did offer me a large bonus to come back to work 6 weeks after the birth of the baby, which I told them to stick up their collective bottoms. There were several moments when I suspected they were trying to goad me into resigning outright, though in the end they did nothing that stepped over the line into illegality.
I haven't decided yet what I'm actually going to do, though I'm going to have to start making some decisions soon about work, childcare and who (if anybody) is going to be main carer. It partly depends how we manage on a much reduced income (I earn a lot more than Mr Rat), partly on what kind of return-to-work terms I can negotiate (they may let me work at home for some period, for instance), and partly just on how myself and Mr Rat feel.
Assuming we can manage financially, it's still too soon, I think, to have any clear idea about the last, we're all still getting used to things. Part of me wants to get back to work asap, and part doesn't. A big part of me thinks it's past time for a change in career and that this is a good an opportunity as any to take a break then look in another direction. Part of me doesn't want anyone else to be looking after my lovely Ratling, or to miss out on time that we'll never, ever have again. And part of me wants to get back to a secure income, adult conversation and not being puked on all day. I just don't know yet which of the three is strongest!
So there we go, that was coherent and helpful, I don't think. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
[ 24. May 2006, 12:57: Message edited by: Rat ]
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
Light interesting question. I have a book in my room with the answer but am loathed to wake up Sean to get it.
I am interested a bit as I have just sorted out mine(in Australia) for a nurse I can take 8 weeks paid, leave at full pay and up to 12 months unpaid. I have to allocate a time say 6 months and then say I will be back a month before or I want the whole year. Interestingly enough I also can use annual leave but the total time must not exceed 12 months. I said I would take 6 then in 5 months will probably say I resign, and take all my annual leave then work casually.
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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Mrs Tea
Shipmate
# 10570
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
quote:
Originally posted by Light:
I've got a question about work... how long did you stay at home /do you plan to stay home before going back to work? How long is the maternity leave in the UK? Does the dad get to stay home any?
In the UK mothers are statutorily entitled to 6 months of paid maternity leave, and another 6 months unpaid.
[ETA: most people that I know have gone back after 6 months and not used the second, unpaid, period which is a fairly new entitlement.]
Not full pay, though. The statutory entitlement is 6 weeks at approx 90% of salary; the rest of the leave on statutory maternity pay of approx £100 a week. The company claims most of this expense back from the government (or if it qualifies as a small company can claim back over 100%). The father is entitled to 2 weeks of paternity leave, which can be taken at any time during the first 2 years of the child's life (I think). This is, IIRC, at 90% pay for 2 days, then £100 a week for the rest of the fortnight.
The current standard rate of Statutory Maternity and Paternity Pay is £108.85 a week (see the DTI website for details). And sadly for the fathers, that's all there's any statutory entitlement to - there's no legal right to a couple of days at full or 90% pay, but a lot of companies already offered a few days at full pay before the legal right to paternity leave came in, and if so they aren't allowed to rescind it. So when our first was born Mr Tea got three days at full pay 'cos that was his company's deal, and the rest of two weeks at the standard rate 'cos that was his legal entitlement. For women, as you say, the first 6 weeks do have to be at 90% of full pay.
There's an excellent website at www.tiger.gov.uk which is run by the DTI and allows you to work out exactly what you're entitled to in your case.
I'm expecting my second at the moment (which fact is to blame for my long silence from posting anything on SoF -- for months I felt too grotty to do anything but survive and earn a living). Since Mr Tea is nowadays the main carer for our toddler and only in limited self-employment, I'm trying to work out how to survive on £108 a week for 4.5 months -- Christian charities like my employer rarely give anything more than the legal minimum. One answer, of course, is Child Tax Credit, which doubles while you have a baby in the house under a year old, so if you're on any medium-to-low income it's well worth claiming.
[ 24. May 2006, 13:41: Message edited by: Mrs Tea ]
Posts: 58 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2005
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by musician:
A pal of ours wiated so long to go to hosp that her husband was flying up the road and was stopped at 4 am by a police car for speeding. Husband yelled why he was racing. The 2 cops were really pleased, said thay'd always wanted to do this, told them to follow, switched on the blue light and took off even faster!
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
quote:
...in the spirit of potentially helpful unsolicited advice...
Very funny, moth. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Just wanted to announce that I'm expecting...
someone to have a baby before page 20 of this thread!
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
(deflates)
Dammit, Grits! ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
Honey, you are so easy.
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
jlg swoops in randomly as she tends to do, reads the backlog and...
I apologize if any of my posts felt oppresive or judgmental. I do have this thing for pregnancy and infants and it was all pretty easy for me and I tend to wax nostalgic and also "pronounce" things. Please don't hesitate to smack my if I opst something pompous, OK?
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
I am going baby visiting tomorrow. I have a gift bag with some things for the baby, and something for the 2 year old big sister. Can you give some suggestions for a little something for the parents, or even just the mother? So far, all I can think of have been luxury chocolates or some cream cakes.
bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Suze
Ship's Barmaid
# 5639
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
So far, all I can think of have been luxury chocolates or some cream cakes.
bb
I'm not pregnant nor am I ever likely to be but cream cakes and chocolate work for me every time. You could also try some really nice bath stuff/massage oil/body lotion.
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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell
Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Earplugs and a lock for the bathroom door?
Suze, the body pampering idea is rather lovely. I know that there are some essential oils that pregnant women are advised to steer clear of. Is there anything similar for breastfeeding mothers, are they advised to keep clear of any essential oils?
[ 25. May 2006, 07:12: Message edited by: babybear ]
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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birdie
fowl
# 2173
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Posted
I can't remember if there are any oils which breastfeeding women should steer clear of, but I do know lavender is okay.
I'd always go for lavender if I wasn't sure what someone could have or particularly liked - it's relaxing and good for healing - my midwife advised me to add it to a bath to help keep the stiches healing properly.
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"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow
Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002
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Curious
Shipmate
# 93
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
I am going baby visiting tomorrow. I have a gift bag with some things for the baby, and something for the 2 year old big sister. Can you give some suggestions for a little something for the parents, or even just the mother? So far, all I can think of have been luxury chocolates or some cream cakes.
bb
A gift voucher for the nearest delivery or takeaway restaurant? Or a couple of M&S ready meals to put in the freezer for that moment when there is NO TIME TO COOK!
Curious
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Erin - you are missed more than you could know. Rest in peace and rise in glory - to provide unrest in the heavenly realms.
Posts: 1372 | From: Betwixt and between | Registered: May 2001
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Tropical Beachcomber
Shipmate
# 9009
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Posted
Support for the body pampering idea here. I was given some really nice bath gel and matching lotion just after Bubble was born. It's a real treat to use them and was lovely to be given something specifically for me. Such things tend to last longer than chocolates, too!
JJB
Posts: 157 | From: south of the river | Registered: Jan 2005
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curious:
A gift voucher for the nearest delivery or takeaway restaurant? Or a couple of M&S ready meals to put in the freezer for that moment when there is NO TIME TO COOK!
Curious
Practical as always and IMHO spot on!
Being fed by others was one of the most thoughtful things our church and other friends did for us after both girls were born. They were also very good at putting the kettle on when visiting (referring back to an earlier conversation.)
[ 25. May 2006, 12:37: Message edited by: Ags ]
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
...don't give unsolicited advice that begins with a 'Huh'. Whether its an uttered 'huh' or an implied 'huh'.
How about this from my mother-in-law, two weeks ago. She was sitting on my sofa holding the Beeb, who was being as charming and placid as ever, when she said "Have you given him a dummy yet?"
"No", I replied brightly, "after all, he's only 7 weeks old. When he cries, he's not doing anything wrong, he's just doing what a 7 week old baby does." (In any case, though I didn't bother pointing this out to her, the Beeb is a natural self-soother - thumbs, fingers, cuffs of babygros go in his mouth when he wants to suck - he doesn't really need anything else apart from my breasts.)
"You will" she says, "you will - just wait until 12 weeks".
At that point I just wanted to pick up something large (maybe 2 volumes of Celebration Hymnal off the piano) and shove it in her mouth.
Am I bad?
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Earplugs and a lock for the bathroom door?
Suze, the body pampering idea is rather lovely. I know that there are some essential oils that pregnant women are advised to steer clear of. Is there anything similar for breastfeeding mothers, are they advised to keep clear of any essential oils?
Although a great idea I remember at my breast feeding class some babies find perfumes confusing and dont like the taste. In fact I have been advised only wo wash boobs in water. Oh to be able to be back to my pre pregnancy state when I enjoyed chocolate, ate it whan I liked, it didn't make me sick and essential oils were part of my DAILY bath which I made bath bombs. Now the essential oils make me nauseus, baths are too cold and well only when Sean is around to pull me out if I need him.
Im wondering is a nice feeding friendly set of PJs would be my first choice or an item of brestfeeding friendly clothing.
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
Posy, you could have just put a dummy in your mother-in-law's mouth.
[ 25. May 2006, 13:25: Message edited by: Flausa ]
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Posy:
Am I bad?
Don't you believe it.
One line that I found useful was 'Hmmm, there might be some truth in that.' said in a thoughtful manner. It sounds like you are might be agreeing with the person, or at the least giving it some thought. It doesn't commit you to anything and you could well decide that there was no truth in it at all.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Posy:
At that point I just wanted to pick up something large (maybe 2 volumes of Celebration Hymnal off the piano) and shove it in her mouth.
Am I bad?
No, it was only the hymnals, not the whole piano after all.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Moth
Shipmate
# 2589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
Posy, you could have just put a dummy in your mother-in-law's mouth.
Once when I was getting irritated and voluble about something and BC was very small, he thoughtfully took his dummy out of his mouth and tried to put it in mine!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
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"There are governments that burn books, and then there are those that sell the libraries and shut the universities to anyone who can't pay for a key." Laurie Penny.
Posts: 3446 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2002
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Annie P
Ship's galley maid
# 3453
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by birdie:
I'd always go for lavender if I wasn't sure what someone could have or particularly liked - it's relaxing and good for healing - my midwife advised me to add it to a bath to help keep the stiches healing properly.
I was given a bottle of Badedas which did a similar job. Was recommended to me by the midwives at the hospital. Lovely stuff.
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Older now, but not necessarily wiser.
Posts: 3248 | From: stockton-on-tees | Registered: Oct 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
You might take your appointment book and a pen, and give them a guaranteed evening out while you watch the little ones?
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Annie P:
quote:
Originally posted by birdie:
I'd always go for lavender if I wasn't sure what someone could have or particularly liked - it's relaxing and good for healing - my midwife advised me to add it to a bath to help keep the stitches healing properly.
I was given a bottle of Badedas which did a similar job. Was recommended to me by the midwives at the hospital. Lovely stuff.
I was recommended salt! With the added bonus that it would make the bath irreversibly non-slip by eating away at the surface.
quote:
Originally posted by JJB:
Support for the body pampering idea here. I was given some really nice bath gel and matching lotion just after Bubble was born. It's a real treat to use them and was lovely to be given something specifically for me. Such things tend to last longer than chocolates, too!
JJB
My mum gave me something pampering after the birth of one of my children. As the youngest is now eleven and I still haven't used it, I'd say it lasts longer than chocolate.
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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marmot
Mountain mammal
# 479
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
You might take your appointment book and a pen, and give them a guaranteed evening out while you watch the little ones?
Nothing personal, but that assumes they want you to take care of the kids. Some people can be picky about who gets to babysit, esp. when baby is young.
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Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"
Posts: 2754 | From: The land of Saint Damien | Registered: Jun 2001
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Suze
Ship's Barmaid
# 5639
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by marmot:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
You might take your appointment book and a pen, and give them a guaranteed evening out while you watch the little ones?
Nothing personal, but that assumes they want you to take care of the kids. Some people can be picky about who gets to babysit, esp. when baby is young.
It also assumes you're comfortable looking after them. Some friends I've been very happy and comfortable looking after their children, other friends less so - and I imagine they feel the same about me. Depends on the friendship I think.
I did give one set of friends a voucher for their favourite, close to home, restaurant one time - with the offer to babysit. Giving them the voucher meant the could decide to go when they wanted, and ask whoever they felt comfortable with to sit for them. Close to home restaurant meant they were only gone for about 90 mins, but had 90 mins of grown up, going out time which, by the time bub was about 9 weeks old, they really appreciated.
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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell
Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
I have to run off now -- but I began trying to Google things like
"essential oils""weaning"
and
"essential oils" "dry up"...
I figure if you look up anything recommended to help with weaning, and avoid those things that come up, then you'll be OK with the soothing products and essential oils, etc.
Things I believe a nursing mother would want to avoid in large quantities, things to not use "pure" on your breasts for example, might be peppermint oil, eucalyptus oil and melaleuca ("tea tree") oil.
I have always used things like these as skin soothers, wound sterilizers, etc. -- I bet melaleuca oil would be a great thing to dot on the painful hot skin over a plugged duct! -- but these three at least have been recommended to me to help my breeding dogs "dry up" when they needed to, so I would think they might have the same effect on a lady.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
The babysitting idea can be altered in other ways too--one very kind friend gave me an envelope with "pay a babysitter of your choice" money in it, for our first night out, whenever it should be. Another came to our home and just held the colicky baby for several hours while I got some much-needed sleep in the next room. I wouldn't have been happy leaving him home alone with her at that age, but wow! what a blessing her mere presence (and arms) turned out to be.
One could perhaps also offer to have older children (or disabled grandparents, etc.) looked after while parent(s) and child made the obligatory early doctor's visits? There are so many of those in the first few months....
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Or offer to do all the grunt work associated with a take-out meal: pick it up, set the table (a nice one with candles and the good china and a tablecloth), serve the food, sit in another room with the baby while parents have a leisurely dinner (OK, this will depend on the cooperation of the baby ![[Smile]](smile.gif) ), and then clean up everything. This will, of course, depend on both you and the family being comfortable with you in their kitchen.
Or if you're dealing with people like we were way back when, simply call and say "I was thinking of pizza - want me to bring some by? What toppings do you want? OK, see you soon" and then show up with beer, too. Bonus points if you hold the baby for ten minutes while Mom eats.
Having said that, the bottom line for me, I guess, is that if you're not an intimate friend, and you're not willing to do a bit of serious research among close family and friends of the mother, you're better off sending a handwritten note or a card expressing your sincere congratulations and joy at the arrival of the baby, and simply leave it at that. But then we're all curmudgeons in my house.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Thinking of Flausa and Alan today - hope it goes really well for you both (and not too slowly ).
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693
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Posted
(wow, this post got extremely long, scroll by if you are not interested in boring details about Swedish parental leave!)
Thanks for your replies Rat, Bronwyn and Mrs Tea!
Very interesting to hear about the different opportunities in different countries.
In Sweden the parents have the right to take a total of 16 months off work, where two months are exclusively set aside for each parent. The rest of the time (12 months) can be divided as the parents see fit. They cannot, however, both take parental leave at the same time.
The first 13 months are "paid", i.e. 80% of your salary, and the last 3 months you get a very token sum (less than £30/week I think). Most people use up all of the paid time, and it's getting common for dads to take at least their exclusive 2 months off. The money comes from the government, but some employers will offer to "fill up" up to 90% for a couple of months.
Me and Caid have planned to spend at least the first month after the baby comes at home together (he will use his annual leave, I will take parental leave). Then I have tentatively planned to stay at home full time for 5 more months, then start working part time and let Caid take over at home. I have no idea whether this is realistic in terms of breastfeeding etc. but the plan is not written in stone. I like my work but I'm still looking forward to staying home.
I am an engineer, and 90% of my colleagues are male. I will be the first woman to take parental leave from my workplace, there are a lot of dads but they usually only take a couple of months of at the time, mostly planned when work is not too busy. So I am a little worried about how taking time off will affect my position. My boss seems to be openminded about letting me work part time when I get back which is nice. I'll just have to see I guess...
If, as Rat said, most mothers in the UK take at most 6 months leave, how common is breastfeeding? I have been told that 6 months is the minimum, and then it takes a couple of months to wean the baby, but I have no clue really!
Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
Thinking of you Flausa and Alan Will keep checking to see news!!!!!
light I didn't end up posting the UK info I had as it would seem I was beaten to it. I guess I love the UK childcare books and well our honeymoon was in Wales.
Just wanted to comment on the breast feeding thing. In Australia this has become a big thing with the Australian Breast Feeding Association. Actually a feeding mother is often given breast feeding time to either express milk or if not then a baby can be brought to them, or you can make a trip to baby to feed. Would be worth asking your boss if they can supply a room, you will need a fridge to store the milk(if mainly male colluges some might feel funny about breast milk in the staff fridge, problem solved by not telling them and wrapping milk up as I did with my IVF drugs), a private room if you are shy, in an eletric pump then a power point. In my work place people slip into the bosses office, turn away from the door and express. No one has a problem with it. (Although if the ward is busy sometimes a woman can be uncomfortable and I have instructed them to JUST GO I will sort it)
By 6 months baby is still reling on mainly milk for nutrition, I mean by that that is what the world health organization say, start solids at 6 months but give milk(pref breast) until at least a year as main source of food. This also suggests if baby is hungary and you are away someone can feed a bit of babyfood to keep baby going until you are around.
Beware a totally breast feed baby may not take a bottle and a cup may need to be used. Best to try before you go back to work. A breaif summary of this is in a pamplet which if you are interested I can show you the URL with a summary and I can order and sent the booklet on if you think it could be of bennifit. Good luck.
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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Curious
Shipmate
# 93
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Posted
Alan & Flausa ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
Curious
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Erin - you are missed more than you could know. Rest in peace and rise in glory - to provide unrest in the heavenly realms.
Posts: 1372 | From: Betwixt and between | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Flausa, Alan & Wee Wan.
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Light:
If, as Rat said, most mothers in the UK take at most 6 months leave, how common is breastfeeding? I have been told that 6 months is the minimum, and then it takes a couple of months to wean the baby, but I have no clue really!
Breastfeeding is shockingly rare in the UK, with very few babies exclusively breastfed till 6 months, and indeed with many health visitors seeming to recommend solids earlier than that - even for mothers and babies that find breastfeeding difficult, it is not recommended to start them earlier than that.
Comparing what I have seen of the advice and support mothers get here, versus what they get in much poorer countries where breastfeeding is very common, it seems to me that the work situation can't help, but the main difference is that most mothers don't know a large number of other mothers who've breastfed for more than a few weeks, so don't have an array of experience to draw on if they don't have an easy time of it.
Most of the mothers I know who've breastfed for longer (and there aren't many of them, even though I know lots of mothers as friends and through work) are those who seem to have had a lovely time of it; the few who didn't, but who persevered, seem to be those with a friend or relative who also had difficulties.
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Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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Moth
Shipmate
# 2589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Breastfeeding is shockingly rare in the UK, with very few babies exclusively breastfed till 6 months, and indeed with many health visitors seeming to recommend solids earlier than that - even for mothers and babies that find breastfeeding difficult, it is not recommended to start them earlier than that.
Yes, but the advice changes frequently. I was advised to introduce solids at 12 weeks with BC, and at 20 weeks with SC. Most mothers I knew introduced them when the baby seemed too hungry for breastmilk alone, despite any advice they were given. I suspect babies vary quite a bit, and, as with most things, there is no fixed rule depite what academics claim.
A baby is not a project, but a person. I think most mothers know their own children better than the experts.
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"There are governments that burn books, and then there are those that sell the libraries and shut the universities to anyone who can't pay for a key." Laurie Penny.
Posts: 3446 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2002
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
I'm sure this is true, and I also know the advice keeps changing - but I've known more than a couple of people who thought their baby was quite happy on milk, but were pushed by friends/relatives/HVs to start solids earlier than recommended (as in, earlier than recommended at the time rather than earlier than recommended now).
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Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
What Moth said. Our girl was permanently hungry, so we introduced solids long before the WHO's recommended 6 months (counts up on fingers; about 18 weeks, if memory serves). The advice I got was that I shouldn't feed any solids until she was at least 16 weeks/4 months old, as her digestive system wasn't mature enough to cope until then; after that, pureed fruit and veg was OK, and baby rice mixed with milk, but meat and eggs shouldn't be introduced until she was over 6 months (there's plenty of NHS propaganda - oops, I mean information leaflets - available with more details).
I suspect (though no health professional has ever confirmed this for me) that the 6-month cutoff date is intended for mothers who don't have access to clean water and sterilization equipment and the reason they chose it is that new-born babies don't need much iron in their diet because they're born with enough to last for 6 months. After that, they need to start eating solids because breast milk doesn't have enough iron for them. The risk of iron deficiency after 6 months is greater than the risk of food poisoning.
Jane R
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Hugs across the sea to my lovely friend Flausa and her dear hubby! ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
most mothers don't know a large number of other mothers who've breastfed for more than a few weeks, so don't have an array of experience to draw on if they don't have an easy time of it.
I was very fortunate; all of my friends who had babies breastfeed them for at least a year. One friend was a La Leche League counsellor, and had about 6 years breastfeeding experience herself. Knowing someone who has 'been there and done that' is so useful. Breastfeeding four different children gives you a fair bit of experience.
I also found it useful to go along to the local La Leche League group. It was good to see how others were getting on and to swap news and advice. The group I went to was very happy to welcome pregnant women. It gave us a chance to ask questions and gain realistic expectations.
My GP was also rather fantastic. She had trained as a paeditrician before she became a GP, and he had also breastfed her children. Another 'been there and done that' and so can offer good solid advice.
For those in the UK, NCT have a Breastfeeding helpline that is 8am-10pm every day, with trained breastfeeding counsellors who will listen, give suggestions and help (0870 444 8708). I think they also have breastfeeding groups similar to the ones run by La Leche League.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
quote:
he had also breastfed her children.
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
Oops.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52
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Posted
ADidn't realise how passionate I have become about breastfeeding til I re read my last post. Have just done a course by the Australian Breastfeeding accociation Australia (formally Nursing mothers) which has filed me with info. If any australians are interested it is well worth the money and currently you get a free book if you join.
Still I will also say I understand not everyone can and the ABFA line is suport people in their choices and so wont push breastfeeding unless requested. It sounds similar to the UK group Babybear was refering too.
Any news from Alan and Flausa?????
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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.
Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
I'm confused.
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa [on May 22]:
So at present, the pregnancy is a not a pleasure, but at least I know it won't last more than another week (they'll induce after 7 more days), so we're almost there.
Did I miss a post somewhere about Flausa being in labor? This post indicates that they won't be inducing for a couple more days.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moth:
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Breastfeeding is shockingly rare in the UK, with very few babies exclusively breastfed till 6 months, and indeed with many health visitors seeming to recommend solids earlier than that - even for mothers and babies that find breastfeeding difficult, it is not recommended to start them earlier than that.
Yes, but the advice changes frequently. I was advised to introduce solids at 12 weeks with BC, and at 20 weeks with SC. Most mothers I knew introduced them when the baby seemed too hungry for breastmilk alone, despite any advice they were given. I suspect babies vary quite a bit, and, as with most things, there is no fixed rule depite what academics claim.
A baby is not a project, but a person. I think most mothers know their own children better than the experts.
Added baby cereals by 4 months for 1st baby.
After that, breastfed the rest of 'em, with a rare supplemental bottle of my milk, or water, or goat milk, if I positively could not be home for a feeding.
I let them eat whatever I was eating after they were old enough to pick up suitable pieces.
The only one who weaned early was the cereal baby.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
Jen, I think this is what people have been thinking about.
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
so they've scheduled me to go in to hospital Friday afternoon to start the induction.
Hopefully, this means a Cresswell baby this weekend.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
re: weaning. I was determined to wait and wait - but Holly actually supplemented her feed at 11 weeks by dipping her fingers in my food as I was distracted by breast-feeding and then sucking her fingers as I took a mouthful from my plate!
She always has been a strategic thinker.
I fed her till 11 months though and Lucy till 9 months. I really took on board all the stuff that was around about breastfeeding being a partnership - which means that if it isn't working for either of you, then it's not working. That is so important. It worked for me. If it hadn't done, then I would have stopped. No guilt trips allowed, you've just done the greatest thing possible by giving birth; give yerself some slack!
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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
Any news on the little mad Cresswell?
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Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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