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Source: (consider it) Thread: AS: Shipmates Expecting 2006
Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373

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Yes, I was wondering how the tests went - also a good reminder for me not to over-indulge in fruit juice tomorrow!

quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:

Just in the way of comment, I do think there's a reason that pregnancy lasts nine months, and I'm not talking just for the baby's development. I think most of us need at least that long to get used to the idea of becoming a parent and the other impacts that this will have on our social, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual life.

I don't know. In a way it might be easier if you made the big decision then, boom, got the baby while you were still sure it was an excellent idea. This way you have an awful long, slow time during which to worry yourself into a frenzy about all those things. (I seem to have got to the abject terror stage...keep having these awful anxiety dreams where I forget to, or amn't able to, feed the baby and it starves. But my mum assures me I'll get over it!)

[ETA I mean she says I'll get over the abject terror, not starving the baby. She's quite sure I won't forget to feed the baby.]

[ 20. February 2006, 20:01: Message edited by: Rat ]

--------------------
It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]

Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Hoping to get the test results tomorrow just before my appointment with the midwife. Have been having periods of diziness since removing sugar from my diet, so I really suspect my sugar's low as opposed to high. My sister had the same thing happen. I verbally thwacked her for not telling me that.

Good heavens, Rat. I've had some mild moments of panic thinking about how much life is going to change in a few months, but I hadn't yet had nightmares about starving the kid. Eek! Something else to keep me up nights.

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
miss jane
Apprentice
# 3107

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thanks for your welcome, Flausa. (Although I will avoid the milk if that's O.K., as it is the one guaranteed thing which will bring on major projectile vomitting!) I'm sorry if I came off as a scratchy b**** on the other thread.. I don't know what to do with ideas expressed on it... still thinking.

goodluck with the midwife visit and test results.

cheers,
Jane

Posts: 50 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tropical Beachcomber
Shipmate
# 9009

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Rat, your nightmare about forgetting to feed the baby made me laugh I'm afraid! Trust me, if you're breastfeedng you won't be able to forget - your boobs won't let you! (neither will the baby, of course, but it's more personal than that) The Bubble has slept from 10.30pm to 6.30am the last two nights, so I've been waking up with leaking cannonballs strapped to my chest. Lovely! [Eek!] Thank God for breast pumps.

JJB

Posts: 157 | From: south of the river | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693

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Hi all, I'm newly pregnant (expecting in September if all goes well).

miss jane, I think it would be a great idea to discuss the stuff you mentioned on your locked thread. Perhaps that would be easier on a private forum, where we could have "philosophical" discussion threads as well as "status" and "wellwishing" social threads? What do others think?

Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Congratulations, Light and welcome to the club!

I am extremely pissed at the moment. Got my test result back this morning, and it was normal.

However, the doctor that works with the midwife doesn't like the way that my GP's office conducts the test, so they want me to take the test again (had a message on my answering machine with the appointment schedule without asking me when I got home from work today). My urine was clean today. I've only had one bad sample and that was last week's and again that was after a large glass of juice.

I've decided if they want to have a pissing contest over who's blood test is better than who's they can do it their damn selves and leave me out of it. I intend to call them tomorrow when the office is open so I can give them an earful.

Oh, and the midwife forgot to take my 28 week blood test today, so they'll want more blood for that as well - but they'll happily take that at the hospital when I go for my new GTT. Ha! [Mad]

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Flausa Oh dear don't you hate it you are only the patient!!!!!!

Been really struggling this week. The local accident which has killed 6 teens and one serously injured has been hard for this small community and all I keep thinking is what if I had allowed our child to go to a party in the middle of nowhere and he/he was killed by a car. So many hurting families. Going down the street monday the whole town was in morning.

Been really emotional and not helped by having to go to a work conference which I have found hard in several ways. One being intrusive into my own self which is well always a bad idea unless you really want an emotional scene which is not the persona I have at work.

Been tired all the time but unable to rest due to severe pain, which I don't really know the reason for but suspect it is ligaments streaching combined with well streaching of scar tissue.

Over the last few days I have been really quite depressed and partly due to forgetting to take the anti D I believe as well as hormones and so on. Still being nausous has not helped either and [Projectile] a few times.

On the other hand was really excited as baby did some movement which I noticed for the first time whilst moving. Before it was only when I was sitting quietly. I put my hand to feel so Sean can and baby stops. Soon he wont worry about being shy I guess.

Better try to get a tiny bit more sleep before work.

--------------------
Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ruudy
Shipmate
# 3939

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Bron,

After Señor Frog came last August time has been especially hard to find and we have not spent time on the Ship. That said Suusan and I have been praying for you over the past few months.

Oh how pleased we were to see the wonderful news! Now another tiny baby to add to the list! How wonderful.

Take it easy. Treat yourself well. Hang in there.

I will try to check in more regularly for the updates!

Goar

--------------------
The shipmate formerly known as Goar.

Posts: 1360 | From: Gatorland | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by Bronwyn:
Flausa Oh dear don't you hate it you are only the patient!!!!!!

Ha! They don't know yet how well I can play the game. I've placed two phone calls to the office today, but no return calls back. My plan as it stands now is to go tomorrow to the hospital, tell them they can take the blood for the 28 week check-up, but that I refuse to take a second GTT. In order to make this an effective refusal, I intend to eat breakfast, hence making any test invalid.

Holding you in my prayers, Bron, as you are struggling. Just try to remember the baby's kicks and movements in the times that you are feeling poorly. It's the one thing that I know helps me feel better - a gentle reminder that the misery is well worth it.

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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Oooo, Flausa, you're about to become a 'non-compliant patient'! Welcome to the club. [Smile]

While it's important to be aware of possible problems such as gestational diabetes, it's also important to be your own medical advocate and listen to your own body. It seems that the medicalization of pregnancy is still alive and thriving, with lots of tests and interference "just in case". It's important to question and require justification for all this stuff they want to do. And it's quite all right to decide to decline some of it.

It's also good practice in preparation for not getting sucked into a "omigod it might be something serious" mode when you've got an infant and are dealing with the pediatrician's office.

My second child was a homebirth. When I took him to the doctor's office at three days old, the nurse (young and fresh from school, barely looked up from the forms, much less noticed us) insisted that we needed a follow-up visit two days later because "the baby has not regained his original birth weight". Yeah, right. He weighed ten pounds at birth and three days later had plunged down to nine pounds fifteen ounces. [Roll Eyes]

Quite the contrast to the lovely experienced nurse I had for my first child. One of the routine questions was "how often does the baby eat and how much at each feeding". Since I was breastfeeding on demand, I just looked at her and said "I have no idea. Whenever she wants to, for as long as she wants". She laughed and wrote down 'mother and baby are thriving'.

Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Flausa,
woke up late last night and worried you would not see the point I was making saying you were only the patient but I see you did. I guess from both being a patient and the fact that I am now pregnant on the fact I was a non compliant patient. I would still be doing IVF, the dr prescribing the same drugs(which didn't work) and he would be getting rich and me older and well not pregnant.
Always question everything. Now due to my refusal just to be a patient I have a dr who really does understand, lets me choose if I want a test, although the ones she has suggested I have agreed to except the one to check for downs as I wouldn't abort anyway. She accepted this.

Thanks Flausa I do remember the kicks, read my diary when I need to as I sometimes forget the visions and dreams God gave us. This baby is special.

B

--------------------
Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Suze

Ship's Barmaid
# 5639

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Bron I just love popping over here and seeing you on this thread [Axe murder] . [Votive] Praying for all you expectant mums and your little bundles.

--------------------
' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell

Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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Still enjoying reading this and seeing how you're all doing.

[Axe murder] to all!

--------------------
Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Flausa, reading your posts it seems you're really worked up about all this; hormones don't help!

By all means rant but do remember the most important thing is to keep your Blood Pressure down, so counter your outbursts with some quiet yoga or soothing music. Seriously. You don't want high BP.

Forget to breastfeed? [Killing me]

Mine are still 10 inches bigger 20 years on, they were so keen... [Eek!]

--------------------
"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
Mine are still 10 inches bigger 20 years on, they were so keen... [Eek!]

Thanks. And there was me living in some vague hope that they might 'tone up' again one day. Parcel tape here we come.

--------------------
Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Cheer up. Some people report a concave chest once feeding has stopped!

Anyway it's wasted on me. Nobody's interested in 'em. [Biased]

--------------------
"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
Flausa, reading your posts it seems you're really worked up about all this; hormones don't help!

By all means rant but do remember the most important thing is to keep your Blood Pressure down, so counter your outbursts with some quiet yoga or soothing music. Seriously. You don't want high BP.

Actually, I'm quite fine. Blood pressure's good and everything. And high blood pressure doesn't come from one incident. I'm really not the sort to get overly emotional and stressed to the gills, so a few moments of anger at times are ok and in this case were absolutely appropriate. Not all stress is bad stress. However, when I am angry, soothing music is not helpful - it just drives me batty. But as a former social worker, I know quite well how to calm myself down.

As to hormones, current research suggests that they don't drive our behavior as much as we women would like to think. It's our behavior that drives the hormones. I've really not had any hormonal surges the whole pregnancies. One day where I was tired and teary but that's it. I'm hoping that bodes well for the delivery meaning that I won't be one of those women who turns into a psycho-bitch towards her poor unsuspecting husband.

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tom Day
Ship's revolutionary
# 3630

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
As to hormones, current research suggests that they don't drive our behavior as much as we women would like to think. It's our behavior that drives the hormones.

Tom makes mental note of this argument [Biased]

--------------------
My allotment blog

Posts: 6473 | From: My Sofa | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
...one of those women who turns into a psycho-bitch towards her poor unsuspecting husband.

You mean this isn't normal?? [Two face]

--------------------
Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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quote:
Originally posted by Tom Day:
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
As to hormones, current research suggests that they don't drive our behavior as much as we women would like to think. It's our behavior that drives the hormones.

Tom makes mental note of this argument [Biased]
[Killing me]

Well get back to me when you're in perimenopause, Flausa! [Biased]

--------------------
"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Well I have found I have been moody for months now well years on and off with the IVF treatments. I guess though that is a LOT of hormones and also I believe I am particually sensitive. I one had to take a different pill to usual and I actually became so depressed I was suicidal. I finally managed to convince a nurse to change it and wow withing 2 days I was so much better.
I guess I also have chronic depression which is real and is relieved by the anti depressants. I have a wonderful husband who accepts me how I am and sometimes that can be not badly but irritable and moody. I really find it hard to believe in my case the hormones are followed by behaviour as I know I am being unreasonable but really can not help it. Things become worse when I have had a poor nights sleep, a stressful day at work or an emotional incident. Sean jokes I am like a 2 yo who will become irritable and then have a rest and I am much better.
Flausa where is this research? Interested as I always thought it was the other way.

--------------------
Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
Well get back to me when you're in perimenopause, Flausa! [Biased]

Well, this isn't really the most appropriate place to get into such a dialogue as it's a support thread for pregnant women. But if we're both still around the ship in 20 odd years, maybe I'll start a thread in Purg (or possibly Hell) in response.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by Bronwyn:
Flausa where is this research? Interested as I always thought it was the other way.

I'll be heading offline shortly for the weekend, but maybe when I get back I'll try to find the info online and start a thread in Purg. As I say to Vikki, a support thread isn't the best thread to have this sort of discussion. I apologize for starting it, but I must admit, I don't like it being implied that my behavior is simply because of hormones. It's an insult to me and my ability to control my own behavior.

As to the Glucose testing. I had my blood drawn yesterday for my 28 week tests, and explained to the midwife at the hospital how I felt like I was being jerked around. She was very understanding; she was concerned at the lack of communication at the health centre; and she said explained to me the differences in the tests. She said she would put it back in the hands of the health centre and make them responsible for taking further action. We also had a very pleasant chat about Florida (as she goes there every Spring), and travel plans. I very much appreciated her as she actually treated my like a reasonable, intelligent adult.

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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That's like saying it's an insult that your head aches if you have a head injury, surely?

Anyway all I was meaning was that hormones demosntrably do affect our behaviour (and personally I found pregnancy easier without the guilt trips from occasional bad days). Just seeing Lucy's mood swings as she's been on various treatments over the last four years is proof of that, as is working with teenagers in any capacity!


In pregnancy, it's important to be kind to yourself, is what I was saying. And to know that some things ARE out of your control. For example, every woman I know would have gladly sat and thought, "Ok, NOW I go into labour!" In fact the timing of labour is dictated by hormones produced by the baby's side of things. Totally out of our control.

However your aim to be Nice to your husband is a good and Christian thing, and I'm sure Alan will support you in it. [Biased]

Glad you've finally found someone who takes you seriously and treats you as an adult. Sadly this has always been a potential failing in the UK system, though there are lots of good guys and gals around too. Have a good break.

Bron, how many weeks are you now?

--------------------
"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
... I very much appreciated her as she actually treated my like a reasonable, intelligent adult.

But when you're pregnant, you're not. Haven't you noticed?!? [Biased]

--------------------
Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
ebeth

Shipmate
# 4474

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quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
... I very much appreciated her as she actually treated my like a reasonable, intelligent adult.

But when you're pregnant, you're not. Haven't you noticed?!? [Biased]
Welcome to the treatment of (impending) mothers. Just wait 'til you have an opinion about school [Biased]

All the best to the future Mummies on the thread and congrats to the new ones! It's really nice that you have a forum to share ideas/concerns/and good news.

--------------------
"To eat bread without hope is still, slowly to starve to death." --Pearl S. Buck

Posts: 1486 | From: Here | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Emma Louise

Storm in a teapot
# 3571

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
quote:
Originally posted by Bronwyn:
Flausa where is this research? Interested as I always thought it was the other way.

I'll be heading offline shortly for the weekend, but maybe when I get back I'll try to find the info online and start a thread in Purg. As I say to Vikki, a support thread isn't the best thread to have this sort of discussion. I apologize for starting it, but I must admit, I don't like it being implied that my behavior is simply because of hormones. It's an insult to me and my ability to control my own behavior.

I

Isnt it better than people thinking youre *really* grouchy selfdefensive/ whatever?
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
Ha! They don't know yet how well I can play the game.

Good for you! There is absolutely no need for women to be treated like idiots simply because they are pregnant or a new mother. (Of course some should be treated like idiots, but that is because they are idiots. [Smile] )

Rat, there are people who take a perverse delight in worrying expectant/new parents. They see it as 'a warning of what is to come'. Tis a load of rubbish and is just plain mean. Perhaps you could imagine pushing grapes up their nose and try to work out how long it would take them to notice. [Cool]

Best wishes to all for a safe and smooth pregnancy.

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
(Of course some should be treated like idiots, but that is because they are idiots. [Smile]

Thanks

--------------------
Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Well had the 20 week scan yesterday. Went to a lot of effort to make sure Sean was there as it was with a specilist dr and the 12 week one was much clearer and the Dr was well um very uncommunacative. I got so nervous I kept saying is it normal is it normal which he said as far as he could see it was. The only thing which gave me any confidence in his ability was he took the lords name in vein when he heard my history.

Oh well dont think I will bother with a second one from him unless my gyne really thinks it is worth it. Also had the Glucose test yesterday. Such a waste of time sitting in a waiting room for two hours. Felt so sick though from not eating and that very sweet drink which made my insulin cells go overboard and my sugar dropped I will be interested to see results but I felt like they were so low. Felt instantly better when I ate after the 2 hours.

--------------------
Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Fool of a Took

chock full o' nuts
# 7412

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I've been thinking about some stuff since Miss Jane posted, mostly about body image, but also about just... life.

We wanted this pregnancy for years. I know our struggle pales in comparison to some but, still, it was a long time coming. And the Nutter somehow chose to make her appearance at the one time in my life when I actually wasn't looking for any huge changes. I was happy. Happy with my work (or lack therof), happy with the fostering, happy with my home, happy with my marriage, my health, and life in general.

And now, she's changed everything. She hasn't made everything better, or everything worse- but she's certainly made just about everything different.

I lost some things that mattered to me when she made her existence known. My physical fitness goals were shot. The Foster kids moved on. I was 3 fecking pounds short of my next Weight Watcher's magnet... I resented her for some of that. I wonder if I'm alone in that- even in the midst of really enjoying pregnancy, having a little corner of my heart that resents all that I gave up- not just for the 9 months of pregancy, but for the foreseeable future.

But I also think now that I am doubly blessed in the timing of her arrival. 2 years ago I desperately wanted a child, and I was desperately unhappy. I don't know if her little shoulders could bear the weight of that. I had some extra time; I got some things under control in my life, and made myself happier. So now, even though things are forever different, the responsibility for my happiness is still mine- not hers.

I don't know... maybe I'm just going a little loopy from lack of sleep.

And not to get all schmaltzy (oh, but my precious angel is worth everything I've given up...) but expecting and new parents- what have you lost? And what do you do when, even if you're really enjoying what is- you miss what was, or what can now never be?

Posts: 1205 | From: Toronto-ish | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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You're totally not unusual. I did this too. Sort of like a love/hate relationship with the baby, except you can't bear to THINK of admitting to yourself that you could feel that way.... I suspect it happens to everybody, actually, that is aware enough to notice their lives have changed!

What helped me was getting away from my little Lamb long enough (like an hour or so) to go and do some of my pre-pregnancy things--taking a walk, going to a bookstore (!), seeing a friend. It may seem impossible, but I found that by six months (possibly sooner, can't remember) that I'd adjusted and now couldn't imagine life WITHOUT the Lamblet. But the first few months with a firstborn are damned hard.

Oh, and yes, you probably ARE a bit loopy from lack of sleep--I certainly was. The best thing I ever did was to find someone willing to "babysit" (actually just to sit and hold the baby in her arms) while I went in the other room and slept. No worries about emergencies, or "what ifs"--I was still on the premises, just drowned in sleep. A lifesaver.

Sounds normal to me. But if it really worries you, talk with your doc about possible postnatal depression, which is apparently very common, and can be treated. I'm sure I had it.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Hey Took! Glad to see you still posting here. Am a little hesitant at present to really share any more personal stuff on this thread, thanks to the Advice Squad that inevitably shows up to tell us how it should be done and how you should feel. But I will tell you that you aren't alone in recognizing losses that come with the arrival of the "bundle of joy."

Oh, but the things we gain ... weight, dirty diapers, midnight feedings, toys underfoot ...

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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I remember looking at myself as if from outside myself -- and shaking my head and "tsk tsk tsk"-ing at myself --

Because I actually felt horribly sad and sorry for myself and maybe a little resentful of the first baby, for just a little while.

Everyone and his uncle popped up from Heaven knows where to see the little one. I was just sort of incidental. No one drove out to the hospital to see me.

Didn't quite sink into such depths any other pregnancy. Maybe it was depression, who knows?

Expect the unexpected. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, you know, and you will go through that.

And I believe the most annoying sound on the face of the Earth is a young baby crying. I mean, annoying as in penetrating, a real attention-grabber. God made it so pitiful and penetrating for a reason -- so we wouldn't sleep when Baby needs us.

If anyone designs an alarm clock that rings with a realistic sound of a baby crying, I want some of the profits, it was my idea first!

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
marmot

Mountain mammal
# 479

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What Tookie said:
quote:
...lost some things that mattered to me when she made her existence known. My physical fitness goals were shot. The Foster kids moved on. I was 3 fecking pounds short of my next Weight Watcher's magnet... I resented her for some of that. I wonder if I'm alone in that- even in the midst of really enjoying pregnancy, having a little corner of my heart that resents all that I gave up- not just for the 9 months of pregancy, but for the foreseeable future.



At the time, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. And I really struggled with it, feeling more like a walking milk machine than a well-educated professional person. I felt like my life was being sucked right out of me.

I suspect every mother comes to terms with her changing identity in a different way. In my case, 17 years later, I can say these things about the changes in my life:

1. Some things are never the same. I mourned some, like career opportunities I missed, and wearing size 4. Some women regain those things; I never did.

2.Some losses became less important over time. I can say that on balance, those compromises, though they seemed huge, were right, and I'm glad I made them.

3. It helped me to remind myself that I was going into child-rearing with all the energy and skill I could muster--a sort of "This is Job 1 until the project is finished." Silly, I know, and not always easy, but it did help me to prioritize.

--------------------
Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"

Posts: 2754 | From: The land of Saint Damien | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jane R
Shipmate
# 331

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Things I miss:

1. Being free to drop everything and go out for the evening on a whim.
2. Having enough money for singing lessons.
3. Having six days off from doing the laundry every week.
4. Being a person in my own right and not just Chief Bottle-Washer in someone else's retinue.
5. Watching anything we like on the TV at any time of day (nowadays it's approved children's programmes only until Madam is in bed).
6. Lie-ins.

Things I like:

1. Total strangers (usually, but not exclusively, old ladies) come up to you in the street and admire the baby. Even in Reading.
2. There is now at least one person in the world who I would willingly die for. Even if she is always upstaging me.
3. Postman Pat, Bob the Builder, Brum and Thomas the Tank Engine. And someone lent us the DVD of Trumpton - I'd forgotten how good it was. Without a two-year-old excuse I might never have known...

Jane R

Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Corpus cani

Ship's Anachronism
# 1663

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quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
And someone lent us the DVD of Trumpton - I'd forgotten how good it was. Without a two-year-old excuse I might never have known...

[Big Grin]
Corpus

--------------------
Bishop Lord Corpus Cani the Tremulous of Buzzing St Helens.

Posts: 4435 | From: Trumpton | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Again breaking the flow of things but I haven't got those feelings which I can identify currently. I really want to know about vitamin K. Are you going to give it to your baby? If so how?

When I was in uni(1994) and did my mid placement I was told Injection was bad due to studies which suggested an increase in cancer. At the time I found an article which discounted this. I spent ages arguing with my supervisor about it as she had not heard of the research.

Now 12 years later the studies are still inconclusive. Some research suggesting a slight increase and others no increase in childhood cancer. I also think it is important as the disease they are trying to prevent is very dangerous making a child bleed to death. NOT here trying to give or get medical advice just want other peoples thoughts.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Left at the Altar

Ship's Siren
# 5077

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I recall that, Bronwyn. Between my first child (who had the injection) and my second child they started to raise these questions.

I recall my obstetrician saying that the "research" was retrospective and, in his view, flawed. Nevertheless, my second child had the Vitamin K by mouth, rather than injection. There was a much higher chance of bleeding to death (due to treatment not working so well as if injected), than of cancer, so far as anyone could tell, but no-one was giving injections.

By the third child, the research had been fairly well discredited and he had the injection.

I felt much more comfortable having the injections than the other.

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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.

Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by Bronwyn:
Again breaking the flow of things but I haven't got those feelings which I can identify currently. I really want to know about vitamin K. Are you going to give it to your baby? If so how?

Alien had it through injection. Because that seemed the best option!

--------------------
Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15217 | From: A grown up house | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Jane R
Shipmate
# 331

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Re Vitamin K: we weren't given the option; Little J had the injection. Given a choice between a remote and possibly nonexistent risk of cancer and a small risk of bleeding to death, I'd risk the cancer every time.

Bottle-fed babies don't get the Vitamin K injection in the UK; formula milk is fortified with it, so the injection is not considered necessary.

Jane R

Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Thanks for the feedback. I guess I will ultamatly get the injection as well I intend to breastfeed baby, Although as Jane said it would mean I wouldn't have this delemea so much(although in Aust they do recommend children have the Vitamin K if they are bottle feed just looked it up).

Busy week for baby last week with the scan which didn't show much, the glucose tolerance test which means I am diabetes free [Yipee] for the momment.. Dr appt, which showed I have now gone back to my prepregnancy weight, but dr was not concerned anyone who has seen me will know why(I am rather large) and hospital visit.

Was interesting to go to the hospital as a client always find it funny that those you see in the corridor every day and greet do not know you when you do not wear a uniform. Midwife showed me round which was great and also took my history. Was quite extensive interview including the dope I once smoked. Was interesting to note she was keen on the brest feeding idea for me even though some evidence suggest doing so with my anti D might not be a good idea exciting baby. I guess it is not considered safe yet but the gyne and the big womens hospital here suggest it is probably safe and looking at the alternative I guess it is better.

Last few days had a virus with sore throat, tiredness, headace and so on, resting heaps and avoiding tablets when I can. Sean was worried I wasn't. I was more worried as baby decided to have a 28 hour period of very little if any activity I could detect. I kept telling myself he has just moved round I cant feel him and so on but still I was anxious, now back to normal kicking and so on. (phew)

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Hi Bron, glad to hear it's all going well! [Yipee]

We had the same concerns over the vitamin K and the MMR but went ahead with both in the end. I'm not sure I'd be opting for the 25 or so vaccinations mooted these days in the UK - does it never end?!

Lucy never really moved much during pregnancy. So I thought. When she was born we realised she was just not very big and therefore not that noticeable. I'd feel wriggles now and again but not the mighty jolts I'd had from Holly, who objected to ne resting a mug on my belly during Bible Study and kicked it onto the floor... [Killing me]

I've always thought the trick to new parenthood is to realise that there is no going back to how it was before. You are not that person. I think this is the trigger for a lot of depression. As somebody said, be open to seeing the GP, be honest with the Health Visitor (mine were marvellous) and ask for what you need from people.

I didn't get time on my own for about four years after the babies were born (I mean literally) and I certainly regard it as one of the most stupid things I ever did in my life.

But you're right, they ARE worth it.

I have to say that now they're bigger than me. [Biased]

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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719

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Hello mums-to-be,

I hope you don't mind me butting into your thread to ask advice. A colleague of mine is going on maternity leave at the end of next week (the baby is due at the beginning of June) and we're pondering on what to buy her.

Should we get something treaty for her (my preferred option, but I've no idea what would constitute a nice treat), something for the baby, something generic (like a photo frame) or perhaps just some vouchers (which would probably be most helpful).

We've got about £40, so if there's anything lovely you'd like bought for you if you were in her position, what would it be?

Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Jane R
Shipmate
# 331

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Hotel Chocolat do chocolatey gifts for new parents: see here for details.

Some friends of ours bought us the crate the Christmas after Baby was born. Daddy and I enjoyed the chocolate, and she still has the bib.

If you buy clothes for the baby, you might want to consider getting a larger size; most people buy the newborn size or 0-3 months, failing to realise that the baby will continue to exist and require clothes after this period. My work colleagues got me a set of 3 baby-gros for 6-9 months, a toy suitable for a newborn baby and some posh talc and bubble bath for myself. All were acceptable and the baby-gros were still in use long after the other new baby gifts had been used up or passed on.

If money is tight, your colleague might prefer to have vouchers so she can choose what she wants.

HTH,

Jane R

Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719

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I love the Hotel Chocolat crate and I've bought it for a couple of people - but she's a bit funny about chocolate so that's off the radar.

Re: receiving baby clothes before the birth - is that the 'done' thing? My Mum always brought me up believing that baby clothes (of the older age ranges) were great presents, but only after Mum & baby were safe after birth. But I think I realised at work today that this isn't necessarily a normal attitude to have (though it has, unfortunately, served me well in a couple of cases [Frown] )

Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Eanswyth

Ship's raven
# 3363

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ACK! My godson isn't due until March 19 and he has decided not to wait. He's coming today! Please pray for a safe delivery and healthy baby and mom.

Eanswyth
Bobby's nervous godmother

Posts: 1323 | From: San Diego | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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quote:
Originally posted by ferijen:
We've got about £40, so if there's anything lovely you'd like bought for you if you were in her position, what would it be?

Personally, I'd want stuff for the baby not for myself, as I really don't do fru-fru that much. One of the best things we've received so far was gift vouchers to Mothercare (thank you, thank you, thank you Jackie) and to my favourite store back home, because it meant we could buy stuff for the baby or for me.

There's nothing wrong with asking her for ideas either. That way if you do purchase an item, then you'll be assured it's something that she wants, not that will be regifted or put in the attic.

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Oh, and it's not butting in if you're asking us for advice, it's only butting in if you're giving us unsolicited or unwanted advice. [Biased]

[Votive] Prayer for E's little Bobby.

Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Eanswyth

Ship's raven
# 3363

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Thanks be to God! I am pleased to announce the birth of Robert Lawrence at 9:20 today. Parents and child are doing very well.
Posts: 1323 | From: San Diego | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged



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