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Source: (consider it) Thread: AS: Universities - Watch out here they come!!
Petrified

Ship’s ballast
# 10667

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It doesn't seem 5 minutes since I carried him out of the maternity ward, but pebble has now has his place confirmed and will be off in 6 weeks or so.

30 years almost to the day he will be going to my old uni and, quite likely, staying in the same accommodation (much tarted up), many things have changed since then.

Does anyone have any helpful advice or tips for all those about to fly the coop (and their parents) must have items or, often more vital, don't bother with items.

[ 30. December 2007, 20:38: Message edited by: Campbellite ]

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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"

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rufiki

Ship's 'shroom
# 11165

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quote:
Originally posted by Petrified:
Does anyone have any helpful advice or tips for all those about to fly the coop (and their parents) must have items...

You can never have too many teaspoons! Just before I went to Uni my neighbour bought me an electrical extension lead for my birthday. Not very exciting but it's proved useful in most of my accomodation, where there often aren't enough sockets or they're in silly places.

quote:
...or, often more vital, don't bother with items.
When I started my (maths) degree I was presented with a reading list of must-have books. I dutifully went out and bought them all but never opened most of them.
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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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It's really not necessary to phone him every day; or write him. He's long past the point of summer camp where you could unpack his knapsack and find his clothes just as you packed them - except for the swimming suit, and towel.

He'll eat unhealthily. He'll stay up late. He'll get up early for things that interest him. Not too much else. He'll go out with his friends. He'll even study (I hope).

Make sure he packs at least one set of going out clothes - even a tie.

I found it useful to have some small things I was used to having around. It made my accomodation home.

One decent bath towel made a big difference to me. Back in my day the towels supplied by residences were of the cheap hotel sort.

Oh, and make sure he knows how to strip and remake a bed. And can do laundry.

In my day, I found a bottle opener and a can punch very useful. Possibly he won't need those esoteric items.

Advice to parents: don't cry as he leaves you.

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Even more so than I was before

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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Toilet roll! Particularly if he has to share a toilet.

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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Petrified

Ship’s ballast
# 10667

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quote:
Originally posted by PeteCanada:
Oh, and make sure he knows how to strip and remake a bed. And can do laundry.

I have already explained that the laundry fairies don't make house calls.

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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"

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Catrine
Shipmate
# 9811

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I was told before leaving to bring a stereo and favourite CD's (which you'll prob bring anyway- or an Ipod or something), but to have them easy to get at. When you are unpacking your life into your small halls cell, I mean room, not only is it comforting for you the fresher, but also attracts friends.

You will definately need a 4 plug extension lead as most rooms only have 2 plugs. Cushions are also great as your friends will come and sit in your room from time to time. Bring posters and photos for your walls (and blutac to put them up with) as these are often dull magnolia.

Finally, and most importantly bring teabags, there is no crisis that cannot be improved with tea- also will help you make friends, etc (you might also need a kettle, but sometimes there is a communal kitchen with one, sometimes they don't allow them in rooms as they are apparantly a fire hazard).

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Write letters regularly (i.e. every two or three days) and send him emails (once you know his email address). They only need to be about the trivia of life, such as how big the tomato plants are (When my sister was a Corrymeela my parents' saga of the tomatoe plants beat Coronation Street in the entertainment stakes amongst the volunteers).

Firstly he looses no cred through getting them. Secondly getting post is important, it makes you feel cared for. Thirdly they can be read again and again if home sickness overtakes him, while a phone call only last the length of the call.

Jengie

[ 17. August 2007, 10:50: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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wesleyswig
Shipmate
# 5436

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The knowledge that you will help him out with any crisis he faces at uni on the practical living side, such as calling going

"I have a burning pan of cheese infront of me what do I do with it?!??!"

Don't overinforce the knowledge he can do it but it'll be helpful to remember, same goes for general household things like sorting bills/broken stuff etc.

Regards
John

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"I am still a Methodist, You can never get it's special glow out of your blood" Ellen Wilkinson
Read my ramblings

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Catrine
Shipmate
# 9811

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Sorry, missed the edit window, but also a camera is great to bring with you. I have hundreds of photos of my uni days which I hold very dear.

I also kept an infrequent diary/journal, which helped me remember some of the events that happened with all the people I met.

Some of us met up pretty recently and laughed at the things we got up to, as you will invariably forget, because a) a lot will happen like events/nights out/minor crises b) you may be intoxicated often c) there will be a lot of people to remember

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Petrified

Ship’s ballast
# 10667

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So far we have:-

vital - bottle opener

Don't need - books

Seems ok to me [Killing me]

On the electricals point some unis require items to be safety checked, others don't, those who do may offer a cheaper service than at home.

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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"

Posts: 540 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
rufiki

Ship's 'shroom
# 11165

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quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Write letters regularly (i.e. every two or three days) and send him emails (once you know his email address).... looses no cred through getting them....

My mum sent me a birthday cake in the post one year (well, a plain cake with a little bag of icing sugar enclosed). All housemates were impressed.

Some halls don't allow blue-tak on the walls so check first (it'll probably somewhere in the gumph he's sent). Lots of halls have large pin-boards in the rooms though so he could take some pins with the posters.

Another thought - don't stress too much about having everything completely planned and sorted. Figuring stuff out communally and helping each other plays a big part in cementing relationships with new flat-mates/hall-mates. (I had to borrow a mug for my first few Uni cups of tea [Hot and Hormonal] )

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Max.
Shipmate
# 5846

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My mum was obsessed last year with giving me RICE! Like, everytime she was in London she would bring a goodie bag with RICE in it!

Rice is OK, but not when you have nothing BUT rice!

I must say - I'm surprised that in the last year I passed every subject I took with flying colours (I think the college has been fiddling my grades so they can grab more money from me in the next years) I had a very wild year, wasting money, clubbing, drinking, running around Bloomsbury stealing vacuum cleaner boxes (1 million super mega happy fun points to the person who can guess which brand of vacuum cleaner box I stole from number 24 Gower Street) and my mum would be absolutely shocked!

I got a regular sleeping pattern set up, I went to bed at about 4am and woke up at about 10am most nights and most lessons at college began in the afternoon so that was ok [Big Grin]

What a fun year [Big Grin] This year will be even better I hope! [Smile]


Max

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For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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It just dawned on me - don't send food - send prepaid gift cards to his favourite coffee shop ...

I lived on coffee and tea and caffeinated soft drinks. My Freshman year, I didn't sleep for 42 hours while doing my last set of exams. Two one day, and one the next morning, the afternoon and morning of the last day were my most badly prepared subjects.

I slept in the car on the way home though. My dad drove.

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Even more so than I was before

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Tazmeen

Ship's Baha'i
# 12891

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I finished uni this year and spent my first yr living in halls.

My room was on the small side so I would consider cutting back on non essential items of books, cds, clothes (judge by term season) etc until he finds digs in his second yr. Most people at uni didn't bring everything they owned, because they were still living at home prior to studying, whereas I moved out of my own two bed flat into an 8 by 12 room...hmm!

If he is a 'normal' student he will spent 80% of his loan on new clobber, anyway. (which really isn't a great idea unless he's gonna get a job as well).

I think one non essential item that is a great asset is a small house plant. It reminds you to take care of yourself ie. water and sunlight essential! And he will have something to look after, now that he is no longer officailly the one being looked after anymore.

One of my friend's parents wouldn't send money, but when she was really skint or was waiting for wages her mum would shop on tescos online and have the food delivered to her digs. Good way to show you care without throwing £'s at their feet.

Also i was really annoyed that noone thought to buy me books at christmas time. They can be up to or between £25-50 for some required reading, as well as all the others you have to buy on top.

My experience was that the library cost me more in fines than buying the books outright. Oh the joys of growing up. Good luck to him!

Tash [Yipee]

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Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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If you send a gift card for a coffee shop register it online so you can replace it if it gets lost ...

If the uni provides a list of kitchen essentials that can help. I'd have liked to splash out but actually I got the cheapest of everything as then it didn't matter too much if anything went missing. I added a few items that weren't on the list that I knew he used regularly and the thing that apparently was most impressive was the egg whisk as no-one else on his corridor had one.

I got a set of 3 small plastic drawers (the sort you get in stationary shops) and filled them with stuff like scissors, basic sewing kit, basic medical supplies, basic stationary things like drawing pins, sellotape etc - the sort of stuff you expect to find whenever you need it at home and don't really want to have to go out and buy specially each time you need them.

I also provided some quick foods to tide him over for about the first week. My son (who likes to think of me as a Wendy Craig type daffy mum - even though I don't think I am!) said afterwards it was hysterically funny the way the food I'd provided ranged from really basic stuff like baked beans to exotic ready meals.

I think to be honest all this was more therapy for me than a help to him, I'm sure he'd have managed find without any of it but it did act as a kind of symbolic reassurance in those early days that he still had back up, and it helped me to think that he'd taken a bit of home with him.

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i-church

Online Mission and Ministry

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by Tazman:
I think one non essential item that is a great asset is a small house plant. It reminds you to take care of yourself ie. water and sunlight essential!

If you do have a house plant, make sure it is sturdy enough to deal with alcohol and ciggie butts! Ahhh, the memories of music college parties!

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Petrified

Ship’s ballast
# 10667

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quote:
Originally posted by dolphy:
quote:
Originally posted by Tazman:
I think one non essential item that is a great asset is a small house plant. It reminds you to take care of yourself ie. water and sunlight essential!

If you do have a house plant, make sure it is sturdy enough to deal with alcohol and ciggie butts! Ahhh, the memories of music college parties!
You have memories of college parties [Confused]

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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"

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Mrs Shrew

Ship's Mother
# 8635

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The thing I really regretted forgetting was COAT HANGERS.

college halls rarely provide them, even if they did at one stage they will have walked off many years previously.

And of course, nobody remembers them, so it is virtually impossible to buy them locally to unis for the first three weeks of term: i had to get tiny kiddy ones and improvise extensions with garden canes. [Help]

For him: my big meeting people at uni trick was to ask everyone their fave flavour of ice cream: much more memorable than a name alone, and you ca get into a good conversation, which helps banish nerves a bit!

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"The goal of life is not to make other people in your own image, it is to understand that they, too, are in God's image" (Orfeo)
Was "mummyfrances".

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rufiki

Ship's 'shroom
# 11165

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quote:
Originally posted by mummyfrances:
For him: my big meeting people at uni trick was to ask everyone their fave flavour of ice cream: much more memorable than a name alone, and you ca get into a good conversation, which helps banish nerves a bit!

Oooo could this be the long sort-after Fourth Question?

(What's your name? Where are you from? What are you studying? Um...)

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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quote:
Originally posted by Petrified:
quote:
Originally posted by dolphy:
Ahhh, the memories of music college parties!

You have memories of college parties [Confused]
Well she may have been like me, even crazier if sober than drunk. Only snag is you do remember in the morning.

Jengie

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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Freelance Monotheist
Shipmate
# 8990

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Coat hangers, mugs, not too many pans, sets of cutlery or plates (means you *have* to wash up after every meal), a CD player & cCd's (or the equivalent), extension plug thing for stupidly-placed & sorely lacking sockets...
A trunk to carry belongings in is good, and if you cover it with a blanket & some cushions, you have extra seating space.
Cleaning stuff (washing up liquid, sponges etc) & tea-towels are also essential.
I remember doing my laundry for the first time & had to borrow some detergent, as there weren't any dispensers or anything. Oh, and you need to start saving your 20 p pieces and pound coins for the laundrette (the 'Site Office/Security/Post collection' place opposite the laundrette didn't do change, grrr)- it was £2.40 for a wash then 20 p for 20 mins in the dryer, often more if you got a machine that 'ate' your money or didn't wash or dry properly!
Also, the heating in halls can be pretty crappy/erratic, so bring lots of layers/bed socks/ a dressing gown so you can put on or discard layers as you need them.
E-mail is also a good, quick way of getting in touch and the offspring should have that sorted by the end of his first or second week.
Bring lots & lots of photos for Registration, as, like someone said, you'll need at least one for every card you own (library, NUS, any clubs you join).
A wall calender can be quite useful for counting down days til holidays/end of term or year/start of exams, making note of new friends' Birthdays & deadlines for assignments/essays/projects. Pin or blutack it over the desk and see everything you need to do at a glance.
Photos of home/family/friends can be comforting too.
Once my parents had left & I'd had a bit of a cry, I wandered down into town to explore & met another fresher who was in my hall, and we ended up going to a café together which was nice. It's so different from High School, as there's a lot more respect, it's a lot less cliquey and, while you might not be bosom pals with the people on your corridor, everyone's usually pretty respectful & polite to one another. My closest friends from Uni are definitely my friends for life-it sounds cheesy, but it's true!
If you belong to a certain denomination/religion, maybe you can check out churches in the area online & print off the map/directions so your offspring has a head start on that front.
Plus, lots of churches 'adopt' a student and feed them for free, so offspring will get to see a different part of the area/town, get some 'proper'/'real' food & hopefully have some wise friends/second set of parents for advice etc. Very useful, I must say, especially if your child is quite some way away from where you are.
Do not get offended when offspring comes back for the first time & refers to uni as 'home'. He or she means Uni 'home', not 'home' home!
Good luck to parents having offspring leaving the nest, and good luck to the offspring who'll be out there discovering the joys of uni life-enjoy it while it lasts, as it goes really really fast & continues to get faster every year!

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Denial: a very effective coping mechanism

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angelica37
Shipmate
# 8478

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Some good ideas welcome here, it looks like we'll be bidding the eldest offspring farewell as he passed his A levels and is off to Warwick.
I'll miss him but he is a fairly sensible chap and competent in the arts of making bacon sandwiches and using a washing machine.

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Well she may have been like me, even crazier if sober than drunk. Only snag is you do remember in the morning.

I'm saying nothing! [Biased]

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Auntie Doris

Screen Goddess
# 9433

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quote:
Originally posted by Max.:
running around Bloomsbury stealing vacuum cleaner boxes

All you stole was vacuum cleaner boxes?!!!! [Eek!] When I was in halls lots of road signs went missing and were to be found in our common room!! [Two face]

When I first went to uni I ended up sharing a room with a very strange girl ( [Snigger] ), but we have remained best of friends to this day. I would say a kettle for your room is essential as well as mugs, tea-bags and coffee.

Auntie Doris x

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"And you don't get to pronounce that I am not a Christian. Nope. Not in your remit nor power." - iGeek in response to a gay-hater :)

The life and times of a Guernsey cow

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Needle and thread.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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If offspring is interested in religion get him/her to go to the chaplaincy.

Reasons:
  • Free coffee
  • Often other lost students around
  • Impartial advice (Yes the chaplaincy will put you in touch with the CU if that is what you want)
  • Free coffee
  • chance of free food
  • normally on campus so you don't have to trek back to halls, so somewhere dry to eat your food
  • will provide a listening ear to a home sick fresher
  • and did I say Free coffee

Jengie

[ 17. August 2007, 18:46: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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Tazmeen

Ship's Baha'i
# 12891

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quote:
not too many pans, sets of cutlery or plates (means you *have* to wash up after every meal)
yes.

one plate, especially. It works!

exception is wine glasses. Obviously!

[Yipee]

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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And two mugs, so you can share with a new friend.

Oh heck! Just pack up Mum's kitchen! [Two face]

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Even more so than I was before

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Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881

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quote:
Originally posted by wesleyswig:
The knowledge that you will help him out with any crisis he faces at uni on the practical living side, such as calling going

"I have a burning pan of cheese infront of me what do I do with it?!??!"

Whatever you do, please do not call his professor / residence advisor / departmental secretary / me and threaten to sue or have someone fired if something isn't done about his burning cheese right this very moment. Please?
[Overused] <---- closest thing to a grovelling, begging smilie
OliviaG

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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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*scribbles furiously*

keep'em coming, folks! my shopping trip is tomorrow.

and thank you! [Big Grin]

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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WatersOfBabylon
Shipmate
# 11893

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quote:
Originally posted by Tazman:
Also i was really annoyed that noone thought to buy me books at christmas time. They can be up to or between £25-50 for some required reading, as well as all the others you have to buy on top.

£25-50? Oh, I envy you... I didn't know textbooks came that cheap.

I was an RA of a freshman dorm, and I told each one of my residents to go buy a bottle of Crest vanilla mint whitening toothpaste. When it dried, it matched the color of the walls perfectly, and it made for some quick and easy spackling, come room inspection time. I avoided hundreds of dollars in fees because I was able to fill in my nail holes.

Posts: 515 | From: I'm a nomad. | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
Alex Cockell

Ship’s penguin
# 7487

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Over one comment - whitening toothpaste as Polyfilla ? Well -I suppose it *is* Polyfilla for teeth! [Big Grin]

And re the 4-way mains strip... ONE 4-way? Try 4! (you can never tell when one might be needed for something communal)

Reckon ready meals are easier nowadays - as you can get retort-pouched stuff. I live alone and work - and yet find the easy stuff helpful at times. Fox's crackers and single-serving tuna-in-sauce tins.. they're useful at a pinch...

Save 75cl bottles... get the personal kettle tested, use UHT or sterilised milk - means that you're not bound to the fridge (and can keep backups in case some scrote decides to do a fridge-raid as happened to me once)...

Chaplaincy - oh yes - I used to spend HOURS there...

Alex, remembering student days.

Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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We're in the tough spot that Chasee is flying far away to Boston, we're not driving her there, so she has to fit everything she brings into her luggage. So I'm trying to figure out what she needs to bring from here versus buy there. the glitch being she will have no transport or know how to find good deals when she is first there.

argh!

So, assuming limited space, what would be people's, say, top ten must-bring items? (aside from clothes, toothpaste, the obvious stuff)

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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1) what they really want is more money

2) homesickness kicks in in week 2

3) therefore visit them in week 3, carrying whatever it is they think they have left at home and need.

4) but don't expect to be introduced to their friends. Go in, say hello, give them stuff, buy them a coffee, leave.

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WatersOfBabylon
Shipmate
# 11893

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
So, assuming limited space, what would be people's, say, top ten must-bring items? (aside from clothes, toothpaste, the obvious stuff)

I've always flown away to school, both to boarding school and college. While my neighbors in the dorm pulled up to college with a truckload of knick-knacks, I had to keep it to two suitcases.

I tried to pack minimally in my suitcases: clothes for the fall, toiletries that I would need on-call (toothpaste and deodorant. Shampoo could wait.), and a few framed pictures. I had Josephine ship me my winter gear, and everything else, I bought: clothes hangers, detergent, shampoo, a pillow, decorations, a rug... I do recommend bringing your own sheets, though, because those can get pricey for poor college folk. I carried on instruments.

Also, you might want to check to see if the college provides storage during breaks.

Luckily, though, I got most amenities for free. My school has a "Free Store" where people bring all of their junk that they don't want anymore and other students can go claim what they want. I got good winter clothes, some new shoes, a coffee maker, and a mini-fridge, all for free. It was a beautiful thing.

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WatersOfBabylon
Shipmate
# 11893

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Oh, and estimate the number of days you think it will take him to find and figure out the campus laundry system. Make sure there are at least that many pairs of underwear packed.
Posts: 515 | From: I'm a nomad. | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by Auntie Doris:
When I was in halls lots of road signs went missing and were to be found in our common room!! [Two face]


I still have one another student at UC San Diego stole and left by the elevator: La Jolla Shores Drive.

I'll second having a camera: it helps to remember your favourite places and friends and people you once dated.

Except for summertime, I usually lived in frat houses or flats so I or my girlfriend could do our own cooking.

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Catrine
Shipmate
# 9811

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
So, assuming limited space, what would be people's, say, top ten must-bring items?

I think the obvious stuff is probably the only stuff you should bring, but here you go.

1. Clothes, some stuff for winter, but also going out tops. Shoes, a pair of trainers, I did a shed load of exploring in my first couple of weeks and my skate trainers really saved me. Maybe a pair of going out shoes. Tell her to wear as much on the plane as she can.

2. Toiletries for the journey only- maybe just a toothbrush/paste/deoderant/moisturiser. She can buy the rest when she gets there

3. Camera if she has one- I love my photos of Uni times.

4. Ipod & Speakers if she has them, thus eliminating the need for CD's and a big stereo

5. Pictures of friends and family

6. Something comforting from home- she'll know herself what this is

7. Bedlinen (although Uni in Boston might do this, halls in the UK generally don't)

8. Towel (although arguably she could get it when she gets there, it's nice to get a shower when you arrive after travelling).

9. Hairdryer/straighteners

Well ok, that's only 9 but I think the key thing is to decide what things she can easily obtain when she gets there (without much cost) and which things would cost a lot to replace. The storage thing is a big issue too, whether the Uni has a cupboard where she can keep her stuff. I used to fly over to Liverpool (where I went to Uni) and this was the advice my Mum gave me.

Having to source local supplies also makes you a bit of a minor celebrity with some other freshers as you 'have the knowledge' and can say to all those hot lost men looking for the nearest shop that you'll show them, it'll take too long to explain! [Biased]

Posts: 2614 | From: Midlands | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Comet

May I suggest that you also give her a list of things to ask after. So she needs a crockery, you ask her to ask for directions to a good hardware store, or any local charity shops! Tell her to keep asking until more than one person recommends the same place.

Secondly get her a good street map of Boston before she goes. Then if the worst comes to the worst she can ask people where she is and they can find it on the map. Why before? because you nearly always have to go somewhere very early on and its nice to have the ability to plan how to get there. Tell her to write on the map any information that is useful for directions (e.g. where bus stops are and which services)

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

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Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Paul W.

Shipmate
# 1450

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quote:
Originally posted by Auntie Doris:
When I was in halls lots of road signs went missing and were to be found in our common room!! [Two face]

I've still got the traffic cone I "acquired" in Freshers' Week. Eight years ago. Moved house six or seven times since then too. I know where I got it from, so I'll take it back one day.

Paul W

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"It's just a ride" - Bill Hicks

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Posts: 2835 | From: Leeds, UK | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Whatever you do, do not:
a) Hang around your children's possible future department asking far more questions than your child, and making your child look bad and unkeen/unprepared.

b) Ring up your children's tutors to find out whether they have a place/tell them your children's grades/lie about your children's grades.

c) Ring up or write to your children's tutors to find out why they have not seen them yet/given them an extra easy assignment/marked their assignment/given them an A.

d) Persuade your child that they cannot come to see their tutor unless you give them a lift (an hour's train ride alone being beyond your child), and then expect to sit in on the meeting with the tutor.

The only circumstances in which communication from a parent to a university department is acceptable is when your child has broken their leg and can't get to the phone/lost their voice/been caught in the tsunami/been admitted to hospital.

Otherwise your child is an adult, and not treating them as such will not endear your child to their tutors, nor will it improve their chances of getting good marks.

I have one student whose mother has been doing c) and d) and I am afraid to say that although her dissertation is not due in till next February, I cannot foresee a good mark for her unless she seriously gets her act together.

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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.

Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Secondly get her a good street map of Boston before she goes.

There is no such thing as a good street map of Boston! Especially post-BigDig.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
We're in the tough spot that Chasee is flying far away to Boston, we're not driving her there, so she has to fit everything she brings into her luggage. So I'm trying to figure out what she needs to bring from here versus buy there. the glitch being she will have no transport or know how to find good deals when she is first there.

argh!

So, assuming limited space, what would be people's, say, top ten must-bring items? (aside from clothes, toothpaste, the obvious stuff)

Similar situation with Ms Miffy - beginning 2nd year uni in the UK - with the first term in New York. She texted Thurs a.m. our time, to say she'd arrived safely and is, I think, moving into college accomodation tomorrow sometime. Travelled over with one huge suitcase on wheels and a large rucksack. When/if we go out to see her later, we'll travel light so that we can cart some of her stuff back over the Atlantic for her. Don't know how much self-catering she'll be doing, as offically she's on a meal plan, so hopefully she won't have to waste too much money buying cheapish cooking utensils that she'd have to leave behind when she goes home.
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Emma Louise

Storm in a teapot
# 3571

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Im finding this thread strangely freaky. My father wasn't even in the country when I went to uni and I don't remember any fatherly advice about what to pack/take etc!

However, as I didnt have the most stereotypical upbringing I guess its another one of those ways Im a bit different to some folk! I found it liberating when I got to uni not to have cook every meal myself, have some bedlinen washed (i was in halls for the first year) and to have others around etc -ie I found it far "easier" when I was at uni!! I had been fending for myself for some time before then, but I don't think I quite realised how unusual I was!.

Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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From what I heard of the open days/interviews for the universities this year they seem to have laid on presentations and tours for the parents who came too; only 5% of the kids arrived independently. "Heard" because I was one of the very few mean and nasty parents who sorted out the train tickets and told her get on with it, reckoning if she couldn't get herself to the open day on her own she wasn't going to cope looking after herself away from home. If the parents still want to get involved when little Johnny has arrived the universities could be reaping what they sow from the expectations from making the parents welcome.

Stupid question - how extreme would it be to set up food deliveries? My daughter has big food intolerances/allergies and will struggle to feed herself (especially if her flat mates decide she has food to available when they roll in from the pub)

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
Zoey

Broken idealist
# 11152

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quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
Stupid question - how extreme would it be to set up food deliveries? My daughter has big food intolerances/allergies and will struggle to feed herself (especially if her flat mates decide she has food to available when they roll in from the pub)

Doesn't seem a stupid qu to me. If a student with no health problems or dietary restrictions had their mum sending them regular food deliveries, I'd be stunned by the amount of nannying going on and I'd probably also take the mick. In your daughter's case, however, it sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Have you talked to her halls about her dietary requirements and whether they can help out in any way? My college gave me (coeliac) a mini-fridge to have in my bedroom (they offered this to any student with medical dietary restrictions) - this was incredibly helpful - could keep my own butter etc, in my bedroom, rather than having it in the communal fridge and wondering if (or more likely when) other people were going to get bedcrumbs in it, etc. If you're able to get her a fridge or a mini-fridge so she can keep her food completely separate to that of her flat-mates, it might be a weight off your and her mind, but I realise this might not be feasible due to cost, or the issue of if she has to empty her room completely during vacations.

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Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.

Posts: 3095 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Secondly get her a good street map of Boston before she goes.

There is no such thing as a good street map of Boston! Especially post-BigDig.
it's really confusing right down there where the Big Dig was, too. from what I can see looking at lots of maps!

And that's where Berklee is. but at least you all name your streets down there, so that's something! and it looks like just about her whole life will be within walking distance. another bonus for her being downtown.

Chasee had the "reality" moment tonight; same one she had two weeks before she left for Thailand. was terrified and had a good cry, so we had a pep talk. compared to Bangkok at 16, Boston at 18 should be a piece of cake. And school will be challenging, but she'll eat it up. This kid has been breathing music since she was about 2.

another one for other people's checklists: a closable accordion folder, small, for important documents like birth certificate, school documents, car insurance, shot record, etc.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
From what I heard of the open days/interviews for the universities this year they seem to have laid on presentations and tours for the parents who came too; only 5% of the kids arrived independently. "Heard" because I was one of the very few mean and nasty parents who sorted out the train tickets and told her get on with it, reckoning if she couldn't get herself to the open day on her own she wasn't going to cope looking after herself away from home. If the parents still want to get involved when little Johnny has arrived the universities could be reaping what they sow from the expectations from making the parents welcome.

Stupid question - how extreme would it be to set up food deliveries? My daughter has big food intolerances/allergies and will struggle to feed herself (especially if her flat mates decide she has food to available when they roll in from the pub)

All change from twenty years ago. My parents came to one visit simply because they offered to drive me over. For one visit (my first) I even had to arrange my own train tickets!! Well I had twenty four hours notice and both parents were working. School was prepared to let me off to sort this out!

I'd second telling halls and especially if she is in self catering getting her, her own mini-fridge. If she has got allergies she will also need tough cleaning stuff if she is in shared self catering. There is no guarantee that other students will clean well enough for food cooked in the communal kitchen to be safe for her.

Oh and tell her from somebody who went through uni with unrecognised milk intolerance, that fussing about what she eats is really, really worth it. I have friends who were in the same hall as me, who wish I had done precisely that.

Jengie

[ 19. August 2007, 09:13: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

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Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
From what I heard of the open days/interviews for the universities this year they seem to have laid on presentations and tours for the parents who came too; only 5% of the kids arrived independently. "Heard" because I was one of the very few mean and nasty parents who sorted out the train tickets and told her get on with it, reckoning if she couldn't get herself to the open day on her own she wasn't going to cope looking after herself away from home. If the parents still want to get involved when little Johnny has arrived the universities could be reaping what they sow from the expectations from making the parents welcome.

Stupid question - how extreme would it be to set up food deliveries? My daughter has big food intolerances/allergies and will struggle to feed herself (especially if her flat mates decide she has food to available when they roll in from the pub)

Another mean and nasty parent, here, too, Curiosity. Son - just starting Year 13 - has been to one open day so far. Travelled down to Falmouth with three friends, staying the night. (Well,you have to check out the social life as well, don't you? [Biased] ). O.K. we sorted tickets and B and B for them, but apart from that there was no question of parental participation.

With his sister, I went with her to a couple of foundation interviews, but only because she needed somebody to carry her portfolio. Uni, her father may have driven her to one interview; I can't remember now, but apart from that, she was on her own!

Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Max.
Shipmate
# 5846

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I organised everything independently, Last year I went on the open days all on my own, I chose my college without parental consultation and I went on holiday on my own too... it wasn't until I booked that they found out I was going to Australia for a month!

I guess I'm quite an independent person

Max

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For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Posts: 9716 | From: North Yorkshire | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged



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