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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Hell: Baby Names for Atheists (Page 3)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Baby Names for Atheists
Sober Preacher's Kid

Presbymethegationalist
# 12699

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The odd thing is Jesus is a popular Spanish name, but English speakers won't touch it with a ten-foot pole. Mispronouncing the Spanish version according to English custom is a big no-no. Weird really.

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NDP Federal Convention Ottawa 2018: A random assortment of Prots and Trots.

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marmot

Mountain mammal
# 479

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quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
My spawn will be lucky if I don't name it after a particularly virulent parasite.

Giardia! Cryptosporidium! Time for dinner!

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Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"

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the Pookah
Shipmate
# 9186

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Frankly Rook does have a point;
it kind of freaks me out to meet Jewish men called Chris, Brian, Kevin...yuh all true. Give me your tried and true Davids, Joshuas et al.

And it was weirder in Ireland with the RC's taking up such Jewish specials as Leah and Aaron.

I want the dratted Atheists to take nifty Atheist names. Agnostics wishy-washy agnostic names too.

A Proper observance of nomeclature helps the non-Christian, Pookah avoid dating Mr. Jesus.
the Pookah
Remember James Jesus Angleton.

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Josephine

Orthodox Belle
# 3899

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Pookah, Eldest Son's best friends, when he was in high school, were Nathan (who was Lutheran) and Matthew (who was Jewish).

It was more than a bit confusing.

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I've written a book! Catherine's Pascha: A celebration of Easter in the Orthodox Church. It's a lovely book for children. Take a look!

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Fool of a Took

chock full o' nuts
# 7412

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quote:
Originally posted by marmot:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
My spawn will be lucky if I don't name it after a particularly virulent parasite.

Giardia! Cryptosporidium! Time for dinner!
I had a pet rat named yersinia. But then, you can do things to a pet you just can't do to the person who'll be selecting your nursing home.
Posts: 1205 | From: Toronto-ish | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by eeGAD:
Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing

wow that's a fun site. my favorite entry so far:
quote:
My last name is Tinkletop. For some reason my wife objects to naming our son Timothy, Timmy for short. I think it's a good, memorable name.
HAR! Some pople are too stupid to live.

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Petrified

Ship’s ballast
# 10667

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I have a small toy dog called Pseudosporochnus

I also rather like Cladoxylopsida

the realm of fossil plants is full of possibilities

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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"

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Drooling Drummer
Shipmate
# 11364

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My 8 year old sister-in-law called her pet budgie Rubella...despite being told it is a disease.

I vote for Bronchitis, Allan Indiana David Simon / Harold Iri Vermont (look at the capitals), Pneumonia or Gangrene.

They are my suggestions anyway.

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If you can't get a gold medal, go for bronze. It's goldier than silver!!

Known in an alternate reality as flighty.

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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I met a Lanesra recently. Her father's a football fan - it's Arsenal backwards. Aaaargh...

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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Freelance Monotheist
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Lyra for a girl? Heroine of 'His Dark Materials' trilogy by Pullman, so rather apt, I think.

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Denial: a very effective coping mechanism

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Left at the Altar

Ship's Siren
# 5077

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quote:
Originally posted by Komensky:
It's illegal in England to name your boy 'Jesus'.

K.

[Paranoid] Reference?

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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by Komensky:
It's illegal in England to name your boy 'Jesus'.

I've been Googling this for 20 mins, and drawn a blank. Could you please confirm this is true?

Thanks,

Jesus (dogwonderer).

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این نیز بگذرد

Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged
Left at the Altar

Ship's Siren
# 5077

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I reckon it's a myth. In some places, there are approved lists of names. Here in Australia (as, I think would be the case in the UK), registrars of Birth can refuse to register obscene or generally offensive (and perhaps, stupid) names. But Jesus isn't one that I'd expect to make the list. In fact, I recall a family in my home town (who were from PNG, but living and working in Australia for a period and presumably registering their children born in Australia under Victorian registration procedures), naming their two children Jesus and Moses. (It may come as a surprise to you all to know that this was a somewhat religious family). No one told them to change the names of these kids.

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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.

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Max.
Shipmate
# 5846

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I went to school with people with the following names:

Rawden (boy), Beren (boy), Dane (boy), Demelza (girl), Sky (boy), Flame (boy), Element (Girl).

I now go to college with a Augustus!


Max

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For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Posts: 9716 | From: North Yorkshire | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Emma Louise

Storm in a teapot
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Josephine mentioned that she was surprised to know a Jewish person with the name "Matthew" and there have been other similar comments.

Up until now I dont think Id ever thought that someones name reflects their religion at all. I know lots of Christians with kids with OT names like the Joshua and David fad that we went thru a few years ago. I know lots of Christians who have kids with names that I dont think are associated with the bible - like leila, sheelagh etc. Its so common I wouldnt bat an eyelid.

Do people really associate religions with names? (I'd assumed this was just a bit of fun til now!)

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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402

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How about "Jezebel"?

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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.


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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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Jesus doesn't appear in the top 100 most popular names in Britain in the last five years, 'though Joshua came second for four of those years, and third last year.

Check the stats, here (and here for girls).

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این نیز بگذرد

Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged
Freelance Monotheist
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Random aside: My sister was almost called Demelza... She ended up being a Mary though!

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Denial: a very effective coping mechanism

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Birdseye

I can see my house from here!
# 5280

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Why not avoid labelling your children entirely...thereby encouraging rational freedom of thought without burdening them with expectations -until they reach puberty they could just be 'Surname 1' 'Surname 2' and so forth -then at puberty they could choose their own identifier and have a naming party.

...Letting rebellious 13 year-olds pick their own names would be much more entertaining than letting grown-ups do it in advance.

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Life is what happens whilst you're busy making other plans.
a birdseye view

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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:

Do people really associate religions with names? (I'd assumed this was just a bit of fun til now!)

In weird places like Northern Ireland they do. I wonder if things have changed recently; but certainly in my childhood 'Irish' names such as Catriona, Connor, Sean, Siobhan, Bernadette, were almost sure to be the names of Catholic people.

Also, peculiar religious names such as Rafael and Assumpta.

Then the strange category of 'obviously Catholic' but don't quite know why eg, Petra, Damian, Simone, Liam.

As I say, weird.

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by Birdseye:
Why not avoid labelling your children entirely... until they reach puberty

This still amounts to child abuse- they should be at least eighteen, whereupon they'll be mature enough to make up their own minds, free from indoctrination and inculcation.

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این نیز بگذرد

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Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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Yeah. And stop heaping your doctrinaire expectations on them about bathing and going to school and stuff like that, too. Narsty self-centered parents. Hmph.

I wonder are their lots of Mormon Brighams, Youngs, Smiths -- and Kolobs and Moronis?

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

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JonahMan
Shipmate
# 12126

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I don't think you could go far wrong in copying a Mr Michael Howard who changed his name to
Yorkshire Bank plc are fascist bastards

I guess that might get shortened to York for everyday use. At least it would be a sentiment that both religious and non-religious people could all sign up to.

Jonah

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Thank God for the aged
And old age itself, and illness and the grave
For when you're old, or ill and particularly in the coffin
It's no trouble to behave

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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69

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quote:
Originally posted by JonahMan:
I don't think you could go far wrong in copying a Mr Michael Howard who changed his name to
Yorkshire Bank plc are fascist bastards

Jonah

No wonder the Tories lost the last election! [Help]

Perhaps they sould buy a Scrabble set, pick out some letters and use that as a name. Seems to work for half the NBA as far as I can see.

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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor

At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken

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Qestia

Marshwiggle
# 717

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quote:
Originally posted by Freelance Monotheist:
Lyra for a girl? Heroine of 'His Dark Materials' trilogy by Pullman, so rather apt, I think.

Good point, but then the male main character was... Will... which as we all know, has religious associations.

Please someone tell me what they are!

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I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.

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Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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I'm guessing King Billy, if she dislikes Calvin. (aka William III, King of England and Stadtholder of the Dutch Republic known in his lifetime as a politique and a statesman and postumously adopted as a regimental goat by the bovine spongiform wing of Ulster Protestantism.)

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

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Low Treason
Shipmate
# 11924

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quote:
Originally posted by Josephine:
Pookah, Eldest Son's best friends, when he was in high school, were Nathan (who was Lutheran) and Matthew (who was Jewish).

It was more than a bit confusing.

I seem to recall a Matthew who wrote a Rather Important Book who was also Jewish [Biased]

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He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love.

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Emma

It used to be standard practice in English Non-Conformist denominations to give your children Biblical names. This went on for centuries. There is reference to it in Silas Marner by George Elliot, but it was certainly often still practised when I was a child. That has left me with rather a lot of Ruths amongst my acquaintances.

At least we stopped naming kids after biblical virtues, I think.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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I love this quote from "Lords and Ladies" by Terry Pratchett.

quote:
The Carter parents were a quiet and respectable Lancre family who got into a bit of a mix-up when it came to naming their children. First, they had four daughters, who were christened Hope, Chastity, Prudence and Charity, because naming girls after virtues is an ancient and unremarkable tradition. Then their first son was born and out of some misplaced idea about how this naming business was done he was called Anger Carter, followed later by Jealousy Carter, Bestiality Carter and Covetousness Carter.

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Yes that is good, I wish I new the book which had lines in it being screeched at street kids like:

quote:

Chastity stop playing with that boy now!

or

quote:
Purity stop messing in the gutter!
or
quote:
Now Joy just you stop your snivelling or I'll whack you one.
Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
It used to be standard practice in English Non-Conformist denominations to give your children Biblical names.

It still is. And amongst evangelical Anglicans.

Little kids I can think of offhand include Isaac and Rebekah, James and John, a couple of Sams and an Adam, some Esthers and a Naomi.

The only reason it doesn't stand out so much nowadays is that everyone else does as well because we are going though another period of finding such names posh.

My own close relatives by marriage and blood include a Sarah, an Abigail, and a Ruth. Also more than one Mary and a Joseph (though they were the Catholic side)

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Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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Faith is still known here in Canada. One of my great-nieces is called that, and I know a few others

Charity and Hope are long gone though.

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Even more so than I was before

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by PeteCanada:
Faith is still known here in Canada... Charity and Hope are long gone though.

[Killing me]

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این نیز بگذرد

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Qestia

Marshwiggle
# 717

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quote:
Originally posted by PeteCanada:
Faith is still known here in Canada. One of my great-nieces is called that, and I know a few others

Charity and Hope are long gone though.

I went to school (in the US) with a Charity. She had a reputation for being, um, charitable towards boys.

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I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.

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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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quote:
Originally posted by Komensky:
It's illegal in England to name your boy 'Jesus'.

[looks around for usual suspects]
[Roll Eyes] [Eek!] [Roll Eyes]

[nope, none of them hereabouts]

[Komensky isn't orthodox is he?]

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Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

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sandushinka
Shipmate
# 13021

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I've always been fond of the Soviet era names Melor and Melsor. They're acronyms for Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin [the "s" got dropped later for obvious reasons], October, Revolution.

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It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

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marmot

Mountain mammal
# 479

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There's a Sci-fi name generator. I can't speak for all the races, but I think Vulcans are atheistic, aren't they?

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Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"

Posts: 2754 | From: The land of Saint Damien | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
the Pookah
Shipmate
# 9186

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Josephine; why do parents do that, do they have no sense of the future?

Emma et al. Nomenclature does matter. I realize most liberal shipmates don't care if the beloved is Christian or Jewish or Buddhist.
I'm fine dating liberal Christians too, the rub is when Jewish people want Jewish mates. I've seen it end in tears too many times for the non-Jewish person. And that very well could be someone with a Jewish father but who isn't Jewish by orthodox Jewish law.

With intermarriage so high in the U.S. now, no one can assume & people ask outright 'are you Jewish?' I am legally, no matter what kind of religious slacker I am.

Also I just don't have any cultural frame of reference with someone who believes sex is sinful, 'we are all sinners' or in Hell. So I would never even go out with an Evangelical or RC. (bad experiences with males trying to convert me)snd Josephine understands, Orthodox.

Jews should name their children, Joshua, David, Rachael or Israeli names - Avishag, Tal, Yael etc.
Francis Xavier or Eamonn gives someone a hint. So does Serge, Octobrina, and the inimitable Jesus [Biased] So in all seriousness I'm all for Pagan, Atheist & Agnostic nomenclature.
the Pookah - Middle name Sarah, wish I'd been named Yael.

Posts: 926 | From: the Northern colonies | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
Choirboy
Shipmate
# 9659

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quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
My spawn will be lucky if I don't name it after a particularly virulent parasite.

Never name them Rook - you might become attached.
Posts: 2994 | From: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
RooK

1 of 6
# 1852

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quote:
Originally posted by Choirboy:
Never name them Rook - you might become attached.

One of the things my wife found most disturbing about me was when she found out I name the meat portion of my meals individually. Well, except for the steak from Pagliacci's - "Damon Runyon" comes pre-named.

Damn, now I'm hungry.

Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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Wimp.

You wait until you're sitting at the restaurant, you namby-pampy, all cool and clean and relaxed, cute wife across the table from you to admire your prowess? You wait until the waiter brings it out to you to name it?

Hmph.

I wanna see you pimp the breeder bunnies.

I wanna see you cull the weanlings.

I wanna see you feed up the fryers nice and fat, having named every one and called each by his name over weeks of time.

I wanna see you select tonight's dinner, and pick him up, and stroke his furry body to still his worried quivering, murmuring his name.

And take him to the chopping block.

Bleed him, skin him, wash him, cut him up, simmer him with a little garlic and cayenne, and serve up little Thumper in his own gravy on a bed of fluffy rice.

Then I'd be impressed that you names yer meat.

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

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RooK

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# 1852

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Do I look like some loser yokel? Raising helpless penned creatures for food is what I pay lower echelons of society to do for me.

Prowess, indeed. I do it purely for the self-satisfied amusement it generates. I hereby dub the hilariously appropriate can of chunk white tuna I'm about to consume "Janine". While I'm at it, I'll dub the glass of wine "fuck you, stupid bitch".

Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
welsh dragon

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# 3249

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Your wife, Rook? I didn't realise you got hitched already. (scrolls through wedding pics on Rook's homepage). Gosh, how on earth did you persuade that very pretty girl to tie the knot?

Mind you, it must be a lot cheaper than paying nursing fees.

[many congrats btw]

[ 12. October 2007, 05:31: Message edited by: welsh dragon ]

Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

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# 68

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Yes, congrats to Rook and The Nurse, if I'm allowed to congratulate in Hell.

Now, back to the names - someone mentioned sci-fi names. Friends of mine have managed to incorporate Star Trek and X-Men names into their family without sounding too weird in the process. (But of course there are characters with religious faith in both of those, so you'd need to beware.)

I still don't see what's Christian about William, unless it's Billy Graham. But I've never understood why people would call their son 'Christian'. Surely that's just asking for trouble. Oddly enough, most people I know who have a son called Christian aren't churchgoers anyway. So why?

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
(scrolls through wedding pics on Rook's homepage).

Wedding Pics?!?!?

you're a fine one for sharing, Mr. KooK!

*tramples hellions on way to the wedding pictures*

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
Your wife, Rook? I didn't realise you got hitched already. (scrolls through wedding pics on Rook's homepage). Gosh, how on earth did you persuade that very pretty girl to tie the knot?

And what a fantastic lizard - has it replaced the squinty mouse? It's a lot better looking.

Must have been a great day. Hope the glow lasts.

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multipara
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# 2918

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The pague bacillus Yersinia pestis used to be known as Pasteurella pestis: now, how is Pasteurella for a suitably euphonious handle for a little atheist? Or Neisseria?

Curiously, no-one has suggested Rosa (for Rosa Luxemburg) or Krupskaya (for Lenin's wife)

Off-topic but what the heck: someone else commented that no Christiam calls their little boy Christ: wrong, wrong, wrong. Every little Greek Orthodox boy in Oz known as Chris was baptised Christos-definitely not Christophoros. The $64 question is whether the name day is celebrated on 25 December or 07 January.

m

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Cantiones Sacrae
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# 12774

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I discovered yesterday that a girl in my daughter's primary school class is called Bacardi - nothing Christian or religious about that. I know a family of four: two girls called Tethys and Tarnaquil, and two boys called Merlin and Rollo.
Posts: 271 | From: London | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged
Zwingli
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# 4438

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
And what a fantastic lizard - has it replaced the squinty mouse? It's a lot better looking.

Must have been a great day. Hope the glow lasts.

The mouse is still there, getting up close and personal with Mrs RooK in one picture.

And may I say, lovely photos, the bride looks fantastic, and RooK hides his evilness superbly.

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Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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I promise I will name the next creature I hunt or raise "RooK".

I wonder what the Nurse has to say about potential baby names, should that time come? I mean, assuming y'all's DNA is compatible and all...

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

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