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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Baby Names for Atheists
the Pookah
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# 9186

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Lietuvos;
indeed, Lithuanians were quite reluctant converts;-)It took a crusade in the 13th Century. And so there are a ton of names. I'm in touch with Romuva, the Lithuanian pagans & a scholarly bunch they are...

To be hellish;-) There are quite horrid saints names as Gogol pointed out: Akakii Akakievich is pretty awful.

As for Hazel, the entire 'nut' pun is suitable for 6 year olds..... Hazel, Ash, Linden, are wonderful pagan and atheist names.

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The Weeder
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quote:
Originally posted by Callan:


Mary Midgley is an atheist but she probably doesn't qualify because she and Dawkins don't get on, she's not rude about religious belief (being the daughter of a clergyman) and in some circles Mary is quite an important religious name.

Mrs, Midgeley was my tutor at University, and was quite at home with me reading Religious Studies. A lovely woman.
[Angel]

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Still missing the gator

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chukovsky

Ship's toddler
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
Presumably 'Lalla', as in Mrs Richard Dawkins, would do for a girl.

Or you could wickedly suggest Marian (the first Mrs Dawkins - not surprisingly not and RD fan).

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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.

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Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
Presumably 'Lalla', as in Mrs Richard Dawkins, would do for a girl.

Actually, given that she played one of the Time Lords in Doctor Who, Romanadvoratrelundar might also be a possibility.
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The5thMary
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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
She will have to watch gridiron football. Some of the names that the players have come from somewhere God doesn't dwell. There was a "Plaxico" something-or-other playing tightend for a team a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, it's awful. Plaxico plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers, or did when first I learned of his hideous name. I heard of a young black man here in Atlanta, GA named "ChexLexus" Harris. There is considerable debate here (in the U.S.A.) about what people name their children. What a god-awful name: ChexLexus.

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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The5thMary
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My best friend worked with a woman named "Velveeta"!

Velveeta! For those of you across the pond, Velveeta is this processed cheese-like substance. It's sort of good but it's loaded with fat and salt. It's cheap, though, and when you don't have a lot of money for food, it gets eaten a lot.

I hate to say this but most of the awful names I've come across in my time are black folks from the American South and usually, black folks from a lower socio-economic upbringing. I can't fathom why people would name their children such hideous names. I wonder if ol' Velveeta ever managed to get a better paying job than the local Godfather's Pizza chain?

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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SearchingForAbsolutes
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quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
The best atheist name for a boy is surely Jesus. I was tempted, when puppywonderer was born, but anticipated playground problems.

There may be more problems than you thought.

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In pursuit of pure, virtuous justice, whatever that means.

"And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins/When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins..." - Rudyard Kipling

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The5thMary
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quote:
Originally posted by Fool of a Took:
quote:
Originally posted by marmot:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
My spawn will be lucky if I don't name it after a particularly virulent parasite.

Giardia! Cryptosporidium! Time for dinner!
I had a pet rat named yersinia. But then, you can do things to a pet you just can't do to the person who'll be selecting your nursing home.
How about naming your daughter, "Clamidia"? "Vaginellia"? For a boy, "Testacular". "Son, you've done a testacular job on washing my sports car!"

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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The5thMary
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I think, to be perfectly safe, atheists should name their children after inanimate objects. How about "Chair" Sinclair? "Desk" Murphy. "Glass" Clown? Hahahaha, that was bad.

"I'd like you to meet the newest member of our family. Nine pounds and seven ounces, little "Bandsaw" and his older sister, "Doorknob". Aren't they the cutest?"


Named for a perfectly lovely saint,
-A.M.A. II/M.B.N. a.k.a. "SpikeyPants"

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
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Please read the thread before posting what has already been suggested.

On the other hand, I'm sure the Doors will be happy that you have added Doorknob to my list.

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Janine

The Endless Simmer
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quote:
Originally posted by SearchingForAbsolutes:
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
The best atheist name for a boy is surely Jesus. I was tempted, when puppywonderer was born, but anticipated playground problems.

There may be more problems than you thought.
Since all the Spanish-heritage countries are crawling with boys and men named Jesus, who do not all die in their thirties after a degenerate entertainment career, I suspect the guy in the link turned out so strange because his father was a sicko, not because of the name.

More atheist baby names:

Dizbelliffa
Incredula
Manissgod
Ration-Al


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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

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Raspberry Rabbit

Will preach for food
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Rivers in British Columbia

Fraser
Thompson
Skeena for a little girl might be nice.

RR

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...naked pirates not respecting boundaries...
(((BLOG)))

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SearchingForAbsolutes
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quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
quote:
Originally posted by SearchingForAbsolutes:
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
The best atheist name for a boy is surely Jesus. I was tempted, when puppywonderer was born, but anticipated playground problems.

There may be more problems than you thought.
Since all the Spanish-heritage countries are crawling with boys and men named Jesus, who do not all die in their thirties after a degenerate entertainment career, I suspect the guy in the link turned out so strange because his father was a sicko, not because of the name.
Ah. What a legitimate, thoughtful, reasonable theory!

Humour needs a good, stern smack on the face with a blunt instrument every once in a while. Thanks for being there.

--------------------
In pursuit of pure, virtuous justice, whatever that means.

"And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins/When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins..." - Rudyard Kipling

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ken
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quote:
Originally posted by Lietuvos Sv. Kazimieras:
Although this trend is to do with a nostalgic attempt at national authenticity, rather than atheism, it seems a good basis for finding analogous pre-Christian Anglo-Saxon-Celtic names

We don't have to look very hard to find pre-Christian English or Germanic names:

Albert, Alfred, Alvin, Arnold, Astrid, Athelstan, Aud, Aylmer, Brandi (yep, an old name really - means "sword" and can be a poetic reference to Wotan/Odhin whose name was not often used explicitly - names to do with spears, wolves, eagles, ravens, helms etc etc, as well as his nickname "Grim"), Dagbert, Drogo, Edwina, Elric (Elf King? We know who he was...), Elvina, Emma, Freya, Grim, Gudrun, Harvard (Might be a from of "Hereward" but might also be from Harbard="Greybeard" and so another kenning for You-Know-Who), Helga/Olga, Hilda (she was a Valkyrie before she was a saint), Oliver, Rolf/Ralph/Ranulph/Randolph/Rudolf/Adolf/Dolf (all originally one name meaning "famous wolf" - a bit totemic, eh?), Rowena, Thora, Winston, Wulf/Wolf - all might have have specific pagan connotations.

Lots of other old pre-Christian names are just names with no obvious religious implications: Alice, Charles (though that's a Frenchified spelling), Edward, Eric, Ethel, Richard, Robert, William (another frogification) and so on!

Am I the only person to think that a proper baby name for an atheist would be something like:

quote:

Ooo diddums whose Mummy's chubby little ickle-wickle athey-wastey then?



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Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

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Yorick

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quote:
Originally posted by ken:
Ooo diddums whose Mummy's chubby little ickle-wickle athey-wastey then?

You're just dysfunctionally jealous because your parents named you Kenneth. Surely one of the crappest names in all history.

[Unless Ken isn't your Real Name, and you chose it as a user name just to be Ironic]

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این نیز بگذرد

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Petaflop
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Well I guess a militant atheist could name their child
  Robert'); Drop Table Students;
and then send him to a church school.

(with apologies to xkcd).

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ken
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quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
Ooo diddums whose Mummy's chubby little ickle-wickle athey-wastey then?

You're just dysfunctionally jealous because your parents named you Kenneth. Surely one of the crappest names in all history.

A good Saints name, Kenneth. Patron Saint of Cork City (though the Irish can't spell it). Name of the first King of Scotland as well, King Kenneth the First.

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Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

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Alaric the Goth
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Isn't 'Kenneth' as a name reckoned to be of Strathclyde British origin (I know that Kenneth Mac Alpin was a Scot): Cynddylan perhaps??

BTW, I appreciate your guide to Germanic (Norse/OE/Frankish) names. I didn't know that about Ranuplh/Rudolf/Adolf. What was the Germanic form of Oliver? Ulfhere??

[ 02. November 2007, 15:11: Message edited by: Alaric the Goth ]

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Alaric the Goth
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Oh, ken, you missed 'Wulfstan' off your list, an name I reckon had a heathen origin, and one I mention as it was seriously considered as a middle name for the Elder Goth-bairn!
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aumbry
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I was under the impression that the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Adolf was Athelwulf. I am sure Ken can confirm or otherwise.

There is so much in a name.

It is difficult to imagine Athelwulf Hitler being determined on world domination.

Aumbry

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Alaric the Goth
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I have often wondered, do many/any Germans and Austrians still call their sons 'Adolf' since WW2? Or has it rather fallen out of fashion, except perhaps among Neo-Nazis?
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aumbry
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I think it is safe to say it is no longer a popular name in Germany.

Aumbry

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aumbry
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# 436

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In a sense I cannot see why the name should suffer - I mean Jack is one of the most popular boys names in Britain despite Jack the Ripper.

Aumbry

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Gwai
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Hitler might be said to have been responsible for at least a few more deaths than Jack the Ripper.

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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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aumbry
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True - but what if Jack the Ripper had become German Chancellor and Fuehrer?


Aumbry

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aumbry
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Thinking about it there would hardly be a name to choose if you discounted serial killers:

Jack, Fred, Neil, Ian, Rosie, Myra, Vlad, Sweeny........

Aumbry

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The Artisan
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I worked in a school with a child named Nevaeh (heaven backwards) so how about Tsiehta for a girl (the T could be silent) or Dogon or Snikwad for a boy. Cigol has a nice ring to it (again for a boy I think)and so does Noitulove whereas Reveil Ebnu has more of an ethnic/French feel.

On the Velveeta theme - how about a Marmite or a Marmalade. Fish Paste might be a bit too cruel!

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Sometimes our best intentions do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you Sheenagh Pugh


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mousethief

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quote:
Originally posted by The Artisan:
I worked in a school with a child named Nevaeh (heaven backwards) so how about Tsiehta for a girl (the T could be silent) or Dogon or Snikwad for a boy.

I've worked with people who might best be described as snikwads.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
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Ken

With the Irish-British (the Irish were better at it than the rest of us, but all of us did it) ability to create saints, you'd better be careful on which you suggest. A feminist theologian might well choose Hilda as a suitable name for a girl.

I guess that several others on your list have attached Saints.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
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quote:
Originally posted by aumbry:
In a sense I cannot see why the name should suffer

How many Americans have named their sons "Benedict" since the Revolution?

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

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the Pookah
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Kevin is popular in East Germany so go figure.

As we discussed before I don't imagine atheists would care to name their kin for either god or gods: Thora & Grim being out.

Meditation, Concord, Peace, Reason, Temperance, Compassion are all quality names that atheists could name their children.

the Pookah

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Ariel
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quote:
Originally posted by The Artisan:
I worked in a school with a child named Nevaeh (heaven backwards) so how about Tsiehta for a girl (the T could be silent) or Dogon or Snikwad for a boy.

This is how Senga became a first name in Scotland. Tsieh Ta, however, could well mean something rather disconcerting in Chinese. I'm reminded of the story of the English man who translated the syllables of his name into Chinese characters, only to be greeted with bemusement and asked if he was really called Bucket of Heavenly Manure.

Cheers

Leira.

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Foolhearty
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Lilith is a pretty girl's name, and has the advantage of being extra-canonical. But continuing in the Puritan line, I think "Apocrypha" has a nice kind of Addams-family ring to it.

[ 04. November 2007, 01:22: Message edited by: Foolhearty ]

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Fear doesn't empty tomorrow of its perils; it empties today of its power.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
the story of the English man who translated the syllables of his name into Chinese characters, only to be greeted with bemusement and asked if he was really called Bucket of Heavenly Manure.

Ah, they do it for you at the seal-cutting place in Stanley market. My transliteration means 'Beautiful Poetry'. Actually, the syllables don't sound anything like my name. But then an accurate rendition would probably come out as Unbecoming Tractor or something.
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k-mann
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quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
What do atheists shout when they orgasm?

Dawkins! Dawkins! O, Dawkins.... I'm coming!
Or; Me! Me! O Me.... I'm coming!

It might put your partner out, though.

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"Being religious means asking passionately the question of the meaning of our existence and being willing to receive answers, even if the answers hurt."
— Paul Tillich

Katolikken

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