|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Heaven: Twitterise famous bible stories
|
Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
|
Posted
Inspired by The Guardian's April Fool we wondered if it was time for a competition - famous bible stories twittered. EG:
- OMG!!!! i'm watching Josh on a blowjob walking rnd r city FFS. ROTFLMAO. Hols in 2 weeks. Can't w8. i'll b somewhere hot, hot hot!!!!!!!
If there are enough offerings on this thread we might put it out as a sponsored competition working with a third party.
Over 2U
[ 02. March 2011, 20:37: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
--------------------
Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
|
Posted
Gr8 reception from new cell tower @ Babel. But screen sez 中國電信股份有限公司 wtf?
FD
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
|
Posted
Hi Gab, be an angel n call Virgin.
FD
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
|
Posted
I've never used Twitter, but it looks like an online version of texting (remember that competition?)
Think I'll sit back and look at other entries before joining in myself....
--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
OMG am in nudist gdn with 2 hippies!! 1 offrd me appl n/sure if spiked so sed no. 2 many animals here loadsacrap undrft, if u hear abt eden don't bothr, h&s shd cls it dwn.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
QLib
Bad Example
# 43
|
Posted
All I sed wuz can i hav yur ass, spent nite in cazhulty, mist party. Lucky really. Shit from fuz. Jeezus wept. Trial b4 pilot (sp?) l8r
--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
|
Posted
A good start - but remember, you only have 140 characters!
--------------------
Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
|
Posted
Wntd 2 tell u Animal Lib geezer offring free cruise bt got flood cntrl.
FD
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
the parsley sage
Shipmate
# 12821
|
Posted
I actually heard one on the radio last night. It was a Twitter Joseph-Jesus'-dad posted. I don't remember it exactly, but it was something along the lines of:
quote:
marys pregnant but im not the dad. sez its Gods. i think shes usin me 4 my donkey.
There was a bit extra (to use up the 140 characters), but as I said, I don't remember it.
--------------------
Boys in books are better
Posts: 934 | From: in a race against thyme | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Louise
Shipmate
# 30
|
Posted
The Twitter account of Judah -
PaterFamilias1 @Onan Bad news, son! Your brother Er's snuffed it, you'll have to marry your ex sis-in-law and make babies
PaterFamilias1 @Onan What's wrong with her? She's a nice Jewish girl! Don't you 'Oh Dad' me
Tamar @All Friends Anyone know a good carpet cleaner?
Tamar @All Friends Bloody Hell! God's smote my husband! Funeral expenses AND the new carpet's ruined!
Tamar @ PaterFamilias1 Er... Good news father in law, the Kleenex bill's gone down! Bad news... I can has New Husband?
PaterFamilias1 @Tamar No, You cannot has New Husband! Not Yours!
PaterFamilias1 @Tamar And I mean No! Get a job in a Scottish widows ad!
PaterFamilias1 @Tamar No, I don't care there's a recession on.
PaterFamilias1 @All friends Phwoaaaaar! I met this really hot bird in hijab!
PaterFamilias1 @All friends But I think she nicked my wallet and ID
PaterFamilias1 @Tamar you filthy trollop, how dare you get up the duff! Stoning's too good for you!
Tamar @PaterFamilias1 Would you like your wallet back? It's the one with 'Bad Patriarch' stamped on it?
PaterFamilias1 @Tamar Er, you haven't dobbed me into child support have you?
Tamar @PaterFamilias1 PWND!!!!
--------------------
Now you need never click a Daily Mail link again! Kittenblock replaces Mail links with calming pics of tea and kittens! http://www.teaandkittens.co.uk/ Click under 'other stuff' to find it.
Posts: 6918 | From: Scotland | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Louise
Shipmate
# 30
|
Posted
PS - that's the way me and my mates do Twitter. Not text speak - but just tweeting things as they happen.
[ 04. April 2009, 03:42: Message edited by: Louise ]
--------------------
Now you need never click a Daily Mail link again! Kittenblock replaces Mail links with calming pics of tea and kittens! http://www.teaandkittens.co.uk/ Click under 'other stuff' to find it.
Posts: 6918 | From: Scotland | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
|
Posted
jonah@where: Shit it's dark in here
--------------------
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
wheelie racer
Shipmate
# 13854
|
Posted
woz ded: now not. alive 4evr.aLLELUIA
--------------------
Disability Rights: To boldly go where everyone else has gone..
Posts: 171 | From: off this planet | Registered: Jun 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Angel Wrestler
Ship's Hipster
# 13673
|
Posted
Did u save the good wine for last or m I 2 drunk 2 notice the diff?
--------------------
The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
(unknown)
Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
sh!t that wz close. no more sacrificial xpeditions w dad.
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anselm
Shipmate
# 4499
|
Posted
Nice day for a ride, might saddle up and head out with my mates War, Famine and Death. Unless that beast of an employer of mine has other plans.
--------------------
carpe diem domini
...seize the day to play dominoes?
Posts: 2544 | From: The Scriptorium | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anselm
Shipmate
# 4499
|
Posted
Apologies for the double post...
"He threw away our pigs and gave us back the madman we'd thrown out. Wuz we given a raw deal? or was the madman?"
--------------------
carpe diem domini
...seize the day to play dominoes?
Posts: 2544 | From: The Scriptorium | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
|
Posted
Light. Heaven. Earth. Sea. Grass. Fruit. Sun. Moon. Fish. Cattle. Creatures. Man. Woman. It’s all good. Done now, gonna have a rest! G’nite!
--------------------
Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anselm
Shipmate
# 4499
|
Posted
Gd's me grazier
I cn b lazier
Good food nice bed
Happy 2 walk thru d place of d dead
table's set milk's spilt
I will live in d hows Gd built
--------------------
carpe diem domini
...seize the day to play dominoes?
Posts: 2544 | From: The Scriptorium | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
wesleyswig
Shipmate
# 5436
|
Posted
Noah: tut tut, looks like rain
Noah: Looking for pieces of wood
Lion: Looking for companion for long voyage
Mrs Noah: Noah still in workshop *sigh*
Mr E.Vil: Oh crap - lots of rain
Noah: All aboard
Noah@allanimals: Get yourself in order, 2 by two, to ride to safety (hashtag great flood)
Mr E.VilJnr: Grrrr flood water seeping in - no escape
Noah: All aboard
Noah: Been at sea a while now
Mrs Noah: Getting board, not much to do - except clean/mop and polish
Lion: Getting bored, keeping getting told off for eyeing up tasty looking snacks on my shelf
Noah: I'm going mad
Noah: Suggering from cabin fever
Noah: Sending a dove out....
Dove: Eye spye a special leaf
Noah: Brilliant dove coming back
Dove: Landing!
Noah - Rainbow and bird in hand, what more do you want?
----------------
With Regards
John
--------------------
"I am still a Methodist, You can never get it's special glow out of your blood" Ellen Wilkinson
Read my ramblings
Posts: 878 | From: Chained to my desk.... | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Anselm:
Gd's me grazier
I cn b lazier
Good food nice bed
Happy 2 walk thru d place of d dead
table's set milk's spilt
I will live in d hows Gd built
Very nice, Anselm! I don't know from Twitter, but this works for me.
--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
|
Posted
*bump*
--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Printer-friendly view
