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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Mafia: An offer you can't refuse
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
The Smudge looked at herself in the mirror. Strange. She'd never been the centre of attention in her life and found it profoundly disconcerting. Whatever had she done to deserve such censure?
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sylvander:
Fair enough. I screwed up the intended boldprint above by cutting and pasting from Word.
I voted for Prof. Chells. And as she pointed out, she is a she, apologies for that, Prof.
Apologising for calling me a 'he' when I'm a 'she' is a bit of a side issue seeing as with your next breath you're calling for me to be lynched by a mob for a murder I didn't commit. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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ephemera
Shipmate
# 13355
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Posted
Ella looked up from her research to turn up the news. She was so busy she did not notice that there had been a murder. Someone murdered Prof Rufus de Ville. Disquieting, to say the least.
Out the window, she saw a crowd parading up and down the street with torches and placards calling for the lynching of Smudgie. They can't mean that mousy little thing that stands in the shadows and watches people, can they?
Ella read the signs aloud:
quote:
Sign carried by Jane Austen-Wreath:
Smudge Out Smudgie!
quote:
Sign carried by Dafyd the Post:
Smudge This!
Smudgie
quote:
Sign carried by Patty Romano:
Clean Up Little Florence
Lynch Smudgie!
Then she noticed two people standing motionless on the sidewalk holding different signs:
quote:
Sign carried by Harry Artson:
Prof. Chells Is Going to Hells!
quote:
Sign carried by Sir van der Hill:
Teach Prof. Chells A Big Lesson!
Lynch Her!
Ella was puzzled. Why were those two accused of the murder of Prof Rufus de Ville? Where was the evidence? Where were the witnesses?
A exceptionally vivid green and blue gecko ran up the wall and jumped onto her back, scurrying up onto the top of her head. Ella pulled him down and pet his chamois like scales as she gently whispered, "no lynching" to the little beast.
[ 19. January 2009, 10:37: Message edited by: ephemera ]
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A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket -
And you listening. T. Hughes
Posts: 583 | Registered: Jan 2008
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
Coming back from the funeral and interment of Prof de Villes, Rev Permin allowed himself a brief moment of satisfaction - not too much, of course, as that would be unbecoming. The family of the late occultist had seemed comforted by the service (even if he had had to gracefully decline to include 'Sympathy for the Devil' and, more strangely, 'Who let the dogs out?' in the service) and the church had been gratifyingly full. No doubt people had been attracted by all the publicity, as well as (he was sure) some undercover police and even federal agents.
Less satisfactorily, at least for his Father Brown moments, was that no-one had appeared who was obviously the killer. No-one twitched suspiciously at the name of the deceased; none appeared to be secret lovers or long-abandoned children seeking the inheritance of de Ville's extensive (and no doubt irreligious) library. Choosing Mrs Trellis as usher had clearly been a mistake as well - among suspicious strangers she had identified were Franklin Roosevelt, Margaret Thatcher and Genghis Khan...
Rev Permin saw a small demonstration across the road. He passed quickly on the other side (he did not know the Jerusalem-Jericho road but was certain it was safer than the average Little Florence sidestreet) but couldn't help but notice that there were calls to lynch two of the town's citizens. He thought that this was a little premature - after all, Prof de Ville was barely cold in his grave: it was rather soon to be adding another to the overcrowding at the local cemetery. Permin shook his head - if it were up to him, there would be no lynching today.
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Patty Romano
But the skin on the back of my neck began to prickle, just like it always does when there is something dastardly afoot.
quote:
Originally posted by Harry
The hairs on the back of his neck had pointed to Chells
D. Avelarge was not impressed by the follicular or epidermicular models of dastardliness detector, and voted for no lynching
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Sylvander - I identified your vote, but thanks for the confirmation. It just reminded me to issue a general request in case I missed anything in future.
We'll close the voting there. The totals are:
Prof Chells (Chelley): 1 vote (Sylvander)
The Smudge (Smudgie): 4 votes (Autenrieth Road, Dafyd, Hart, Pax Romana)
No lynching: 8 votes (Banner Lady, davelarge, ephemera, fletcher christian, jedijudy, lady in red, Rev per Minute, Stevie Boy Wonder)
It seems that the townsfolk are reluctant to take action in the name of justice. The decision to have no lynching may have prevented the spilling of more innocent blood, or it may have passed up an opportunity to catch up with the mob. Either way, whoever did Prof de Ville in has got away with it for now.
Night falls
If you have night actions, you may now take them.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
Darkness fell in the vicarage. The shadows became pools of gloom, the undraped windows a source of weak illumination. Never before had a night seemed so dark.
Rev Permin cursed the low-energy lightbulbs the diocese had forced him to install. His brightly-lit rooms were now barely-lit rooms. He considered whether becoming an Anglo-Catholic would allow him to light candles anywhere and everywhere in the house - at least he might be able to see where he was going.
Permin's mind went over the events of the past few days. While he seemed to be in the Bishop's good books at the moment, he still didn't fancy the time when the Bishop got into his books. At least with two deaths in the town, His Grace's mind was taken up with matters of life and death, rather than credit and debit. The town itself had shown remarkable restraint in not lynching anyone for the murder of Rufus de Ville, as the police seemed to be completely absent from the case - there only seemed to be a Press Officer in LFPD, no actual detectives or even ordinary cops.
He thought about the townsfolk. Rev Permin feared that the deaths weren't over, and that any more might well bring out the lynch mob. He shivered, and set about preparing for Evening Prayer.
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
What. A. Day.
Avelarge poured himself a sizable glass of bourbon and settled down on the couch to watch TV. While he was pleased that there had been no needless killings, he still wanted to take his mind off the events of the last few hours and watching the hockey would do that. Still, who knew if there'd be another killing. The police seemed powerless, and the town yet to come together to pursue the killer (or killers). Something should be done...
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Sister, Mom says you have two minutes to get in bed and go to sleep. If you don't I think she's going to punish you! ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
Aughghgh. Sister has to be so smarty-pants about everything. I can't wait until I'm grown up and can stay up as late as I like. And I'm never going to be mean to my kids, either.
Who can sleep with all this hoohaw? The grown ups must be scared with a murderer running loose. *chills* Oh! Maybe I'll see the murderer later when I sneak out to check things out! The roof of the pizzeria is dark, and the cast on my left arm would probably be a good weapon if some bad guy came along!
Now, I'll just wait for Mom and Sister to start snoring...
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
I have just finished a rousing version of Torna a Surriento and am about to start on O mio babbino caro. I sneak a look out the restaurant window, and see that all is quiet. Soon I will be finished with my 20-minute "set" and will be able to take up my knitting, sit at my table by the window, and watch the night life of Little Florence as it floats by me.
Pax Romana
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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Tucked up in her tiny room, the Smudge pulls the duvet up a little higher under her nose and wonders when sleep will come. Although she owns quite a large mansion at the top of the hill, she has chosen the smallest of the bedrooms to make her own... the rest stand silent and empty and many of them shrouded in dustsheets, though the cat is allowed free range to explore.
The only sound is the ticking of the clock downstairs, steadfastly counting the seconds as they merge into minutes and on into hours. It is matched by the beating of her heart as it rhythmically reminds her that she is still alive, despite the cruely and unfounded allegations of certain members of the community who were all out to get her lynched. She had no idea what had possessed them to think such a thing. People-watcher though she was, she has never encountered such as this before. She realises once again how fragile the hold of any person is upon life. Why, we do not even have the capacity to will ourselves to sleep when darkness falls and we seek rest.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
The Man Who Wasn't Welsh set off for a fast blast round town on his Harley Davidson Electraglide which wasn't the swiftest motorcycle on earth but definitely provided the finest soundtrack. A pity that it attracted the fuzz who cannot resist anything that looked like a wheeled brothel. That might account for them not appearing to do anything about the recent murder. They had better do something if Little Florence is not to be turned into Little Palermo.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner was very glad to have set a solid and leading example for the wayward populace of Little Florence in the aftermath of de Ville's death. How positively medieval to consider lynching people in this day and age. He shook his head as reached for the day's mail.
There were letters from several parishes requesting more time to get their accounts audited; an unexpected account from the florist (apparently even cheques from the churches funeral director were bouncing these days); a perfumed missive from Miss Austen-Wreath wanting more information about his Bishop's Relief Project; a small donation from Sir Van der Hill politely asking to be left alone from now on; and a strangely heavy registered post parcel from Dr.Andre...
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Lucinda had been teaching all day and hadn't had time to think about her recital. It was too late to practise without annoying the neighbours, but she decided to work out what outfit to wear. She looked through her wardrobe but didn't feel like wearing any of the dresses again, so she spread out the sewing books on the floor to plan a glorious new one. Bright red would be suitably dramatic for Brahms and Rachmaninov.
Suddenly she was plunged into darkness. Damn those old-fashioned electrics! She really must get the place rewired. She found a candle and a match in the kitchen, and went off to find the fusebox under the stairs.
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Adam.
Like as the
# 4991
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Posted
Harry was having a sleepless night, mulling over all he'd learnt over the past couple of days. Unfortunately, while business was pretty slow, the postal role playing game he was playing in was really heating up and he had to write some very long letters for it about driving for ten hours, having a three hour meeting and driving back over the next three 'days' (luckily a postal day was much shorter than a Little Florence day). He thought he'd let people know, partly because he thought that playing in a postal role playing game was pretty darn cool, and partly so as people didn't think him the strong and silent type.
[OOC: I'm away till Saturday. If anyone accuses me of trying to kill anyone, I didn't do it.]
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Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog
Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Day breaks
TOWN HIT BY DOUBLE SLAYING
Little Florence is reeling after the recent violence in the town hit a new level last night. In what appeared to be unrelated incidents, shady olive trader Don Carmen and mysterious wanderer The Smudge were both found murdered.
Lt Burke Enhare has been called in to investigate the possibility of a link to the recent death of Prof Rufus de Ville. He told us "It seems unlikely that they could be related. I mean, sure it's strange to have so many mysterious deaths in such a short space of time, but neither of the deceased were known to have dabbled in the occult, and their injuries aren't consistent with a sudden, explosive brain haemorrhage.
"However, it may be that this is the work of a serial killer obsessed with numbers. Look at it - one death last night, two deaths tonight. I think we should be expecting three deaths tomorrow night. That's the way these killers work. I've seen the movies."
Although little is known about the latest victims, both had come under suspicion since their arrival in town. Don Carmen's name had suggested some form of mob involvement, while The Smudge was caught up in an attempted lynching. Lt Enhare said "If the good people of Little Florence had just got on with it and lynched this Smudge, she'd have had a much quicker and more painless death. It would have been an act of kindness."
Smudgie and Ye Olde Motherboard have been murdered. They were both Citizens. Once they've both posted their death scenes, nominations will open for lynching for 24 hours.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Tick... tick... tick. Would she never get to sleep? No tossing and turning, The Smudge lay still and silent under the covers, waiting for the comforting light of day, unable to think how her world had changed in the blinking of an eye since the finger of suspicion had been laid so relentlessly upon her. The cat was her only comfort.
Perhaps tomorrow she would pack her bags, put the mansion on the market, and seek out some other town, some other place to call her home and to quietly resume her search for a worthy person to whom to leave her accumulated riches. With no family or friends to call her own, The Smudge had been carefully assessing the townsfolk of Little Florence, knowing of their financial difficulties, for the chance to be an anonymous donor to a worthy beneficiary. But now her faith in human nature felt shaken to the very core.
The cat shifted uneasily at the end of the bed. The Smudge decided that lying and thinking without sleep was pointless - far better to get up and make herself a calming mug of cocoa. She turned over onto her side to get up.
"What are you doing here? This is my private bedro..."
But her sentence never finished. A single twist of the knife into the heart of this quiet and lonely woman and her solitary existance came to a sudden end, mourned by nobody but the cat.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner shook open his morning paper, and then had to put it down to cross himself after the headlines had sunk in. TWO heinous murders in one night. And both innocent citizens! True, both victims were known about town for being a little odd. One old gentleman who ran his fruit orchard as though he was some kind of Sicilian patriarch; and one elderly lady who was a wealthy recluse. He could only assume the perpetrators were after money. Life must be tougher than he thought for some in this town.
It was time to launch his Bishop's Urban Relief Project, before the crime rate escalated even further. He had enough seed money to begin SOMETHING of benefit to Little Florence, thanks to Dr.Andre. But how to go about it? Perhaps he needed to confer with those working at the coal-face, so to speak. He picked up the phone to dial Rev. Permin, idly wondering if that dear Miss Smudge had received his letter before her horrible demise.
Should a donation arrive from her in today's post; or if perhaps she had thought to make a bequest to the church, he wanted to make sure that every cent would do some good. He punched in the numbers to Patrick Permin, more determined than ever that the side of Good needed to get a better profile around Little Florence.
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
Don Carmen was most pleased. It was his birthday and he had a dinner of his favorite spaghetti that Mrs. Domenico, his cook, had made. That sauce was like heaven, lots of onions and peppers like a cacciatore, but with basil highlights that infused your taste buds with joy.
Don Carmen thought, "I should be a restaurant owner." That's what I'll do next he thought. Open an Italian restaurant. I've got the money, and a great cook. What a lovely thought for my birthday - a new beginning. Mrs. D also made cannolis for him. Not just the vanilla kind, but half vanilla, half chocolate with candied fruit, just like home in Palermo.
As he sat in the kitchen he though he heard a sound. What could that be? Mrs. D. had just left, she must have forgotten something. But, there were footsteps, YES, he was sure of it. Now silence. Must be my imagination with all the goings one in this town, I must be just jumpy. Now, back to that delicious canolli.
Suddenly, he felt something and it wasn't the sweet taste of chocolate cannoli filling - it was blood. HIS BLOOD! There was a knife in his chest and slowly, ever so slowly blood was exiting his body. He didn't have time to think. He KNEW he had only a few seconds. Now, where is that phone? I have to call..............
but time was up.
That sauce was the glimpse of heaven we all strive for and Don Carmen had found it but in a way he didn't expect.
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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
Domenico sat with his head in his hands in his father's kitchen.
Who is going to clean up this mess? There is spaghetti sauce, vanilla and chocolate filling all over the place.YUCK. And, the police weren't too clean either. SLOBS. I bet they also tried to find money or something because ALL the rooms are a mess. I suspect them. YES, it will be my pleasure to make all of them pay.
Mrs. D, who found dad, had totally freaked out and ran out into the street screaming. She'll be useless for quite a while. So, now who is going to clean this up?
Too many bodies are piling up. I wonder, should I be watching out? Am I the, next victim and WHY????
First, the Don, then dad, and in the middle all those others and the Smudge!!! This is making no sense. But, there has to be a reason. Everything has a reason.......doesn't it?
A funeral and a mess. Now, I own the business, have to watch my back and find a killer. It's going to be a LONG DAY.
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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Nominations are open for lynching, with the same rules as last time. The 18 surviving townsfolk are:
§Andrew
Autenrieth Road
Banner Lady
Chelley
Dafyd
davelarge
ephemera
fletcher christian
Gwai
Hart
jedijudy
lady in red
leonato
Pax Romana
Rev per Minute
Sioni Sais
Stevie Boy Wonder
Sylvander
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
*yawn*
What? Is that Mom crying? She knows the bunnies get upset if someone cries like that!
*tiptoe down the stairs*
*looks over Mom's shoulder at the front page of the paper*
Rats. Two people were murdered last night? I had a really bad feeling about that Smudge lady. She really looked victimish. I wonder if that's a real word? Well, it's one of my words now.
Last night on the pizzeria roof, things sure seemed strange. No cops. But people were walking around. And that motorcycle almost made me fall...again. Bet Mom would have tanned my tail if I'd fallen there again. Especially after midnight! What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Besides, I like listening to that lady sing.
I remember that I got the creeps when one of those people walked past under where I was hiding. I really thought that I would just laugh it off this morning when the sun would be shining, but I'm not. Wish the cops would spy on Rev Permin to see if he's killing all those people. Man, I don't like the looks of him.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Dafyd the Post read in the Daily Wail about the horrible murders.
Hmm... he thought. It seems that Ms Romano's neck hairs are downright misleading. What would happen if they were to start pointing at other people? People could be misled.
Dafyd the Post decided to accuse Pax Romana.
He could deliver the accusation with the rest of the mail.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
Domenic wondered and wondered. There was a murderer here and someone had to be caught. He thought who is rotten enough to do this? Too many to list. But never underestimate a woman. That Romano woman has always been in his sights.
Guys don't have intuition, but there was something.......something that was in the back of his mind about someone.
I have to solve this and soon, real soon. Before the funeral would be nice.
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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
Patty Romano couldn't help but notice the funny looks she was getting from people today. The postman looked very nervous when he saw her, and almost put her mail in the wrong mailbox. She even thought she saw Don Carmen, a/k/a Domenico looking at her strangely. "That's odd," she thought. "He's dead, or at least he's supposed to be. Am I seeing things? Do I need to consult a psychic?"
Her feelings were very hurt by all this negative attention. All her life she had done nothing but bring beauty and love into people's lives, and this is how they repay her!
Well, okay ... She had called for the lynching of The Smudge, but why hold one little mistake against her?!
"I need some coffee," she thought as she reached for the whole bean Ethiopian Sidamo she had bought just yesterday in the gourmet shop.
Pax Romana
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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pax Romana:
She even thought she saw Don Carmen, a/k/a Domenico looking at her strangely. "That's odd," she thought. "He's dead, or at least he's supposed to be. Am I seeing things? Do I need to consult a psychic?"
Domenico appears to be Don Carmen's son. He's welcome to stick around and add some local colour, but as a non-playing character, he isn't allowed to nominate or vote, and should refrain from voicing any suspicions. The mob can get very upset when people stick their noses into family business.
So far, by my reckoning, we have 2 nominations: Rev Permin (Rev per Minute) and Patty Romano (Pax Romana). Nominations will stay open until this evening GMT.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
Sir van der Hill was confused. The town was awash with murders and there were dead people lying about left, right and centre so you almost started tripping over them. Well, in fact one of the dead of last night was a penguin, one of those that walk across the background in Bill Forsyth films.
While he was glad no one had been randomly lynched the day before he felt very sorry for Miss Smudge with whom a youthful infatuation had once connected him. She was one of the two dead last night. Organised crime was plucking folk off one by one.
Two deaths in one night seemed exaggerted in terms of dramatic effect but the criminals did not seem to care much for dramatic effects. It was also bad for the demographics of a place the size of Little Florence. And of course it was worrying to think that this random killing of people during the night might include him at some point. He who had such bad sleep already, one dared not think what a murderer trampling round the house would do to his desperate need of rest!
Van der Hill tried to remember who had suggested the innocenct Mss SMudge for lynching the day before? Maybe they were the same one who did away with her the following night? He could not remember who it was, though. He decided that the matter would have to wait, he had a load of work to do and not in Little Florence either but in Frankfurt which would take him away for the rest of the day. He hoped he would still find fellow residents in Little Florence when he came back.
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Lucinda was shocked. A double murder overnight! This wasn't the Little Florence she had grown up in.
From what she understood about the rules of the game, er - the cosmic laws geverning the way Little Florence was situated in its particular dimension in the space-time continuum - the mob only carried out one murder at a time, so it seemed that there were even more dark forces to contend with than she had realised. It could be that they had rivals who were also intent on the destruction of the honest hardworking citizens of Little Florence (although only one person had been killed the previous night. But maybe they had tried to carry out a dastardly crime and missed). Alternatively someone had decided to take the law into their own hands. However, both of the latest victims were harmless, innocent citizens, so if they was a loose cannon about taking potshots at people, they were also a pretty dangerous entity. Someone needed to be caught or Little Florence was going to start looking like a very dangerous place to be.
She went into town for her morning coffee and noticed that Romano's was strangely empty. There were rumours about Patty, it seemed, connecting her to the recent deaths. Lucinda wondered if she should go and get her coffee anyway in a show of solidarity for her musical friend, but she wasn't sure. What if it was true after all? Maybe she would try out the coffee in Leonato's today.
On her way round to rehearse with the accompanist, she ran into little jedijudy out shopping with her mother and proudly sporting her plaster cast. It was such a shame just now, when she had been progressing so nicely, but Lucinda told her not to worry, that she would be back to lessons and practise soon enough, and the exercise would be good for helping the bones to mend. It didn't hurt too much, did it? Jedijudy scowled at her. Lucinda could never understand why she was such a sulky child, when the rest of the family was perfectly pleasant. She liked to mutter darkly about various people about town, and had even made comments about the "penguin lady", the poor Smudge who was gone now. Lucinda wondered exactly what she did know.
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
Rev Permin was having a bad day. He had been woken by the Bishop, telling him that two more people had been murdered. When he went to speak to the families, he could find no relatives of Ms Smudge and all too many relatives of Don Carmen - most of whom spoke no English but all of whom could cry and wail with the best of them. Permin returned home with a headache - both literally and metaphorically. Did Smudge want a church funeral or not? Don Carmen would be having a full Requiem Mass in the RC Church, but he would attend as all the clerics in Little Florence kept close together.
But when Rev Permin got to the vicarage, his problems multiplied. Scrawled across the door was the word 'Murderer' - in red paint, of course. He quickly entered the house and shut the door, double-locking and bolting it. Permin briefly wondered whether he should stop parishioners coming to him in this way, but thought that the paint on the door would act as a deterrent.
If only he had the slightest clue about who was responsible for these terrible events? Permin had nowhere to turn and no-one he could point to as more likely targets. What could he do? The whisky bottle called invitingly, but he knew he needed a clear head for whatever was to come next. Taking a deep breath, he dialled the Bishop.
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
TMW3 looked at the paper: TWO dead! Really messy ones too, using blades by the look of it. Who knows how to use a blade in this town?
The Man Who Wasn't Welsh immediately realised that Harry Artson, town barber, knows all about blades and while he was out of town when the murder was reported, who is to know where he was when they took place? Can't people construct a decent alibi these days?
When he gets back, stretch Harry Artson's neck.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
We have 3 nominations. They are:
Rev Permin (Rev per Minute) nominated by jedijudy
Patty Romano (Pax Romana) nominated by Dafyd
Harry Artson (Hart) nominated by Sioni Sais
As Hart's currently absent and unable to offer a defence, to make it fair and get this sorted out by the weekend, we'll move straight to a vote, during which you're free to make any arguments you like about the best way to vote. You may vote for either Rev Permin, Patty Romano or Harry Artson to be lynched, or you can vote for no lynching. A majority of votes cast will see your chosen victim swing.
Voting will be open for 24 hours from now.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner was gratified. Miss Smudge, it seemed, was an orderly old thing, and her affairs were neat and simple. Her solicitor had rung him, explaining that her funeral, to be held at St.Cosimo's was paid for; and in the event of no other dependents or bequests, her estate in its entirety was to be given to the diocese; provided that the old mansion was used as a half-way house for the repatriation of those with criminal convictions.
Well, the Lord moved in mysterious and timely ways; and he knew without doubt this was the hand of God at work. The Urban Relief Project would be a lot of work; but surely the citizenry of Little Florence would support it. He was drafting a charter for it, when Rev Permin called and informed him of some more vandalism on the church grounds.
"Patrick, I suspect it's the work of children. There is one little girl who has been seen skulking around the centre of town at all hours of the day and night. Heaven only knows where her parents are... Yes; Jedi Judy she calls herself...the one with the plaster cast on her arm... Well, of course I know it's unlikely that anyone with a broken arm could do serious vandalism, but she could still use a can of spray paint with her other hand...What should you do? Leave it with me, Patrick, and I will send the cleaners and renovators over right away. They can do the church professionally while they are at it."
Bishop Banner thought again about the size of the bequest outlined by Miss Smudge's solicitor.
"Oh, and Patrick; there is going to be a most elegant funeral at St.Cosimo's this week. Perhaps you should get all the vestments dry-cleaned. The diocese will pick up the tab."
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Sneaking a peek, Dafyd the Post noted that the Daily Wail was commending the citizens for exercising their civic duties, by taking the law into their own hands, being have-a-go heroes, and not worrying about technicalities such as due process.
Dafyd's letter to the editor accusing Patty Romano had been printed.
As I nominated Pax Romana I vote for her.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
Mr D. Avelarge was not one to take his responsibilities lightly. This decision required clear-headed thought. Who was acting in a way which most resembled a mafia underling?
Clearly, Patty Romano and Harry Artson had been quick to get the lynching bandwagon rolling. Both seemed to have (as yet unknown) motives, so this was suspicious indeed.
But was there anything to choose between them? Not really, but the spate of killings shows no sign of letting up and we need to get something done about it. Therefore, summoning all his inward reserves of emotional steel, Mr Avelarge announced "I vote for Patty Romano to be lynched".
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076
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Posted
Miss Sal sighed as she read her mail. All these murders were definitely causing a denegration of public standards. Since when had a Bishop sent out a letter that had a typo? Sternly she penned a letter to him mentioning it. Still, perhaps he had a point about the church needing support. Perhaps if the church were doing better, people could stop brutally killing each other? After a bit of thought, she penned a check for a little bit.
As far as the rest of it went, Miss Sal couldn't accept the idea of lynching anyone. If we have to find the murderer, couldn't we just put him or her behind bars? Jail always seemed like a more civilized way to do things. Why on earth did that opera singer woman, Patty, want to lynch people over it? Miss Sal wrote a letter to the newspaper suggesting that perhaps Miss Patty Romano should be put behind bars until the murders were solved.
Then, scratching her chin delicately, she wrote another letter to the paper. Where on earth were the police in this mess, and why weren't they doing something productive? Perhaps we need a new police chief in New Florence, she suggested.
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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.
Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
Patty Romano didn't understand why, all of a sudden, everyone in town was avoiding her and even refusing to look her in the eye. She knew that something was about to happen, and could only hope that this was not a plot against her. Patty had never harmed a soul in her entire life (unless you count her little crusade against The Smudge), and in her heart of hearts she could only echo Desdemona's dying words from Verdi's Otello:
Muoio innocente!*
Pax Romana
*I die innocent!
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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Stevie Boy Wonder
Shipmate
# 11869
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Posted
Steve Buckland had heard the rumours, but with all the marking and preparations for parents' evening, he felt a little out of the loop. However, he definitely felt a gut reaction, and it wasn't that sickness bug going round the fifth grade. "The strange staring penguin woman may have freaked me out, but I was never convinced she was anything other than a quiet eccentric, and it turned out I was right," said his inner monologue. "Which makes me a little suspicious of her accuser..." Having filled his pupils' exercise books with little red ticks, Steve finally planted a small cross in the box to support the lynching of Patty Romano.
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Jesus saves. But in the current economic climate, His pension probably won't be enough for eternity...
Also by the same author
Posts: 1599 | From: Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
Sir Van der Hill was glad he had survived the last night and then remembered that in real SoF life the past few hours it had not been night at all but he had taken an afternoon nap. As if murder was not bad enough, he was now getting confused about night and day!
He was no friend of lynchings but with the useless demise of Miss Smudge his cynical side had been strengthened. Clearly if the honest citizens of LF just kept biding their time, they would be taken out one by one during the night like sitting ducks. We need to fight back against organised crime. But who looked suspect, he wondered? The risk was that all that would happen was another futile killing, further depleting our numbers and leaving the field wide open for the murderous lot. There was this eerie-looking wee lass with the plaster (was it really a medical implement or only a convenient hiding place for daggers?). She seemed absolutely weird, sneaking out and prowling around town during the night. She professed to be "observing" but she never seemed to observe anything useful for the rest of us. If she was indeed finding interesting information, maybe she could come clean and help the town?
On the other hand he had made inquiries and found out that the one who had accused the innocent Miss Smudge had been this infernal opera "singer". ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif) What had been her motives?
SvdH swayed between his dislike of weird children and his grudge against the woman who had tried to lay the noose around the neck of an innocent citizen.
And there was of course the fact that nobody had any positive proof or any well-founded suspicions so that one risked to further reduce one's chances by stringing up another citizen... Sigh.
In the end his desire for quiet during night-time prevailed and he decided to give this ShadyJudy child another chance to come clean. He voted to get rid of Pattie Romana.
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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fletcher christian
Mutinous Seadog
# 13919
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Posted
Oh, what the hell - lynch patty
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'God is love insaturable, love impossible to describe'
Staretz Silouan
Posts: 5235 | From: a prefecture | Registered: Jul 2008
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sylvander:
SvdH swayed between his dislike of weird children and his grudge against the woman who had tried to lay the noose around the neck of an innocent citizen.
Prof Chells raised a bemused eyebrow on hearing the protestations of Sir Van der Hill... hadn't he only a day or two before been calling for her own lynching: "laying the noose around the neck of an innocent citizen" as he put it! But she acknowledged that these were strange and dangerous times and her neighbours' reactions to this spate of murders were worrying indeed. It seemed another lynch mob was forming even now and while the Prof was as concerned as the rest of the town to get these murderers off the streets she echoed the call to put them in prison and seek justice not blood. To this end, and very concerned that two murderous gangs were now killing off the citizens of the town, and would continue unless stopped, she added her voice that Patty should be put behind bars.
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"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Lucinda was torn. Lynching didn't appeal to her finer artistic instincts, but doing nothing wasn't going to keep anyone safe either. They also didn't know who the second killer was. It might be another criminal gang, in which case they needed to catch someone to prevent more innocent citizens being caught in the crossfire. Alternatively there might be someone carrying out vigilante-style killings, in which case someone would still die even if no one was lynched.
In which case, wouldn't it be better for the town to have control of the proceedings out in the open? It was too dangerous not to vote.
Who looked guiltier? Rev Permin didn't seem to be particularly implicated in the killings at present, and while she had her suspiscions about that Harry Artson, it didn't look like there was any chance of him being apprehended any time soon... With a pain in her heart at the thought that she might be betraying her friend, Lucinda decided to go with the general consensus gathering against Patty Romano.
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
"It's a boy!" dr. André said. "Congratulations!"
After many hours of labour, the city of Little Florence could now welcome its new member. All went well, and a new person was brought into the world. It was worth all those hours -which seemed like days!- of the doctor staying at the bedside of the happy mother.
Suddenly, things looked brighter now. Doctor André was beginning to feel optimistic again. However, that didn't last for long.
As the doctor left the clinic exhausted, he felt something dark in the air of Little Florence. The people looked unrestful; they were speaking against three prominent members of our little society. Doctor André thought that fear and vengeance could shadow the people's reason.
As a scientist he valued reason highly. And, at this point, there were no serious foundation for the accusation raised against the good father, the beautiful singer (oh, what a voice!), or the town's barber. No lynching
But what if...
Doctor André took off his little blue notebook, and started taking notes. He observed the citizens' reasoning and he was making notes...
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Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
Patty Romano wondered why, all of a sudden, people were avoiding her as if she were some kind of gangster or something. "It must be my Italian name," she thought. "Everybody suspects the Italians." True, her brother Guido "The Cleaver" Romano had a few "connections," but Patty had never consorted with any of the "wiseguys" other than to accept tips from them for her beautiful singing in The Cleaver's restaurant.
Patty began to think it was time to get out of Little Florence, but how? She didn't have a car and the next Greyhound bus wasn't due in until 10:00 PM.
Pax Romana
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********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
Jane was surprised to discover that the reason she'd been so tired and wanting to cuddle up in down comforters all the time, was because she'd been nine months pregnant! She smiled down at her new baby, and up at the kindly doctor who still made house calls, and wondered who the father was.
Then she reached for her PDA and tapped out her email vote, along with a quick text message to the commissioners:
I don't believe that being first out of the post nominating for the first lynching is prima facie evidence of guilt. If there were only the two candidates Patty and Harry, I'd vote for no lynching. But since jedijudy (the scamp) slipped in a nomination too, therefore, much though I respect our hardworking man of the cloth, I'm going to vote to lynch The Reverend Permin.
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Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
The votes are in.
Rev Permin (Rev per Minute) : 1 vote (Autenrieth Road)
Patty Romano (Pax Romana) : 8 votes (Dafyd, davelarge, Gwai, Stevie Boy Wonder, Sylvander, fletcher christian, Chelley, lady in red)
Harry Artson (Hart) : 0 votes
No lynching : 1 vote (§Andrew)
Pax Romana is well and truly lynched. Unfortunately, she was a Watchman. Once she has posted her death scene, night will fall.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
Patty Romano had always wanted to have a grand death onstage in the middle of a performance, and she was not going to be cheated of this. No sooner had she been marched over to the oak tree in the middle of the square and had the noose put around her neck than she began to sing Liu's touching death scene aria from Puccini's Turandot.
Tu che di gel sei cinta
Da tanta fiamma vinta ...
The two men who were holding her allowed her to finish the aria before kicking the orange crate out from under her feet.
Her dying thought was an echo of the Emperor Nero:
"What an artist is perishing!"
Pax Romana
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********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
It was true that Bishop Banner had been accused in the past of not knowing what was going on around him. Sometimes people expected their leaders to be omniscient, when only God could be so. He was all too aware of how very human he was, by comparison. Still, it was a shock when his housekeeper burst in, just after dinner, with the news that some town ruffians had lynched, actually LYNCHED a woman known for her beautiful singing and the way she watched out for other people around Little Florence.
"Oh Bishop!" Bunny Baker exclaimed. "The streets are not safe around here. I dare not go out! That poor, poor woman!"
Bishop Banner put his arm around her comfortingly. He was deeply disturbed by this news. And now he would have to find another soloist for Miss Smudge's funeral. The town seemed to be descending into chaos. He sighed.
"Bunny, you had better stay here tonight. We shall say some prayers together for the poor woman's soul...and for the souls of those who have done this terrible thing..."
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Night falls
If you have night actions, you may now take them.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Dafyd the Post considered his record of votes. Two innocent people voted for out of two.
Possibly he should just shut up.
However, as a dedicated reader of newpapers, he knew that political pundits never let past errors shut them up. They just forgot about them entirely.
So he thought that the town should discuss what they thought they'd learned from the situation.
1) Potentially three people could be killed each evening. One night only one person was killed; the second night - after there was no lynching - two people were killed.
So, only one team of killers successfully struck on the first night.
Either no vigilantes took any action on the second night, or, again, only one team of killers successfully struck.
Either the watchmen have been super-efficient or there is only one team of killers on the loose.
2) I haven't got any ideas about who the detective is. The citizens find the game ridiculously easy if they can work out who the detective is. Of course, we're down a watchman (oops, sorry), and we don't know how many we started off with, so it might not be a good idea to speculate out loud.
3) Mafia behaviour. Any speculations on what they're doing? Are they keeping their heads down, or are they judiciously helping the lynching process along?
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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