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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Mafia: An offer you can't refuse
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
Harry Artson is lynched. Unfortunately, he was a Detective. Once he's posted his death scene, night will fall.
A look back over those he's gone after will be interesting then (except me early on). Shame Harry couldn't have declared some of his acquired knowledge especially to prevent his lynching, even if it might have meant the Mafia coming after him the next night to silence him?
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"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
Harry Artson is lynched. Unfortunately, he was a Detective.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Well done, folks!
Grrrrr. If we can lynch two watchmen, one vigilante and one detective, all with random shots in the dark - why not a single gangster?
quote:
Originally posted by Sylvander:
I am NOT the detective, so, fellow citizens: lynching me would be out of character. It would not inflict maximum harm on ourselves as is our custom.
As soon as Sir van der Hill was back, having braved black ice on Scottish rocks, fought mankind's arch enemy alcohol (by devouring it), delivered an address to the Immortal Memory of fellow philanderer Robert Burns and having escaped the snowstorms that made Britain grind to a halt, he found his home town had lynched the undercover detective that was there to protect them. Brilliant!
Guys and dolls, I was joking as in " j o k i n g " when I said we now need to lynch the detective. Just because I am German does not mean I don't have the ability to write something ironically, in jest, tongue-in-cheek, right? (After all, in written communication I can always resort to the dictionary to re-read the definition of "humour" and polish my phrases at leisure to make it look like I really possessed a GSOH - to no avail apparently). Well, I am glad at least you did not take my suggestion of collective suicide literally! (Although I am now inclined to repeat it in earnest).
Now what?
PS. I have not made any voting grids of my own (don't have the time) but if one of those who have perhaps could post it in an easy-to-grasp format (a grid perhaps)? Methinks that by now there should be some useful information there.
Sir van der Hill went to bed in order to think the whole business over next day with a little more leisure.
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
Patty Romano took a little time out from tormenting Dafyd the Post to haunt the streets of Little Florence and take a look at the latest goings-on. "These people just don't have a clue. They did it again," she thought as she shook what would have been her head if she were still alive and flew through the window of her brother's restaurant.
Pax Romana
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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Oooooh- weeeeeeee-ooooooooh! Scary stuff says the auditor, long dead in previous games…
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner was not a deeply spiritual man; but even he could tell that a sense of repentence was sweeping Little Florence after the unfortunate death of Hart, and he wondered how many would be praying tonight for their own salvation? Everyone answered to a higher authority, one way or another, and he was no exception to this. Perhaps it was time for a word with The Man Upstairs...
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Night falls
If you have night actions, you may now take them.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sylvander:
I have not made any voting grids of my own (don't have the time) but if one of those who have perhaps could post it in an easy-to-grasp format (a grid perhaps)? Methinks that by now there should be some useful information there.
Meh. I tried that and look where it got me. I suck as much at detective work as i do at maths ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
[Add code to the list of things that I suck at as well]
[ 03. February 2009, 07:59: Message edited by: lady in red ]
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
The Rev'd Permin's headache was getting worse. Another innocent had been lynched: not only that, but Harry had been an undercover cop. "If we took a machine gun and fired out of the window, we'd have a better chance of hitting one of the murderers," he thought. So much for 'dodgy points' or grids or other systems...
If it wasn't for the constant stream of funerals, Permin would have scarcely needed to get up in the morning. The last Sunday service was attended by three men and a dog - a Jack Russell, who had yapped all the way through the Eucharistic Prayer then had tried to take Communion. Permin hoped that the dog would be back next week, as that was the only congregation he was likely to get if people stopped going outdoors.
Permin was worried that it was always the same people doing the talking in the town. It almost always led to their deaths - either at the hands of the Mob or at the hands of... well, the mob. The more he thought this, the more he thought it was time to stop talking and get on with things.
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
This being dead thing isn't quite as bad as I thought it would be. I can float up to the pizzeria roof instead of climbing! And no more purple cast! Cool!
I do miss Mom's hugs, though. Sister is still a pain in the patootie, and took all my good stuff as soon as the funeral was over.
Too bad the grown ups never listen to us kids.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Day breaks
LAST BASTION OF CORRECT ENGLISH JOINS THE MAJORITY
Serial complainant and letter-writer Miss Sal was found dead last night, as the recent mob attacks showed no signs of slowing down. Police were unavailable for comment, being said to have fled the town in panic in an attempt to save their own well-upholstered hides.
Editor of the Little Florence Mercury, Philippa Paige, paid tribute to Miss Sal's tireless work over many years to correct our English. "She clearly cared very much about getting it right," she said, "And over the years, we came to feel that we almost knew her as a friend. It was lovely to have such a loyal and devoted reader checking up on us all the time. I must confess, if we hadn't heard from her in a while, I'd occasionally slip a deliberate mistake or two into the paper to try to coax her out."
Today's letters page has been left blank as a mark of respect, and from tomorrow, we will be running a week-long series of Miss Sal's Greatest Hits, including her memorable lecture on the correct use of hyphens, and the time her complaint was in sonnet form, in protest at the publication of a limerick which didn't scan.
Gwai has been murdered. She was a Citizen. Once she's posted her death scene, nominations will open for lynching. Those left alive are:
§Andrew
Autenrieth Road
Banner Lady
davelarge
Chelley
ephemera
lady in red
leonato
Rev per Minute
Sioni Sais
Stevie Boy Wonder
Sylvander
Unfortunately (and having checked my maths several times), this time it really is correct that lynching an innocent is likely to allow the mob to take control of the town. No lynching will put off that fateful day for now. The good people of Little Florence will need to tread very carefully.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076
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Posted
Miss Sal bit her pen.
She put her hair up in a bun and then took it down. Then put it back up into the bun and bit her pen again.
She'd never thought there was anything that would be hard to say in a letter, but finally she'd found something. Was it too peculiar to write a note to the paper thanking them for a perfect errorless week? It seemed a bit silly. After all, surely her job (don't say hobby, that would seem belittling, this was truly a volunteer labor of love, she told herself) was to find errors not to praise perfection? Also, there was a reason the paper had been perfect all week and it was probably related to the fact that half the columnists seemed to be dead, or fleeing for their lives (should probably say on vacation not fleeing for their lives.) It seemed cruel to thank the paper for only producing half a paper.
Still, she barely written the paper a letter all week. She had to say something about it all!
Her desk faced the wall and an old painting of her grandfather, so she didn't see the door open. She didn't hear them approach. She didn't notice the shadows moving across the floor. There was no anticipation, and she never had the chance to cry out. Even when the blows fell, she didn't make a noise. No, the only things that spoke for Miss Sal were the first two words of her letter, the only parts she'd managed to decide on.
quote:
Thank You
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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.
Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
Jane woke up, surprised to find herself still alive. The better for the Mafia to sling mud at her and confuse the populace, she supposed.
She quickly powered up her iQuill and tapped out an email.
To: CitizensList@littleflorence.mailman.gov
From: jaustenw
Date: Morning
Re: Nominations
Detective Harry Artson (RIP) nominated Professor Chells in round 1, voted for The Smudge (probably reading the temperament of the voters and preferring to try for a lynching than splitting the vote further). The Smudge was murdered that night and revealed to be a Citizen.
Then Detective Artson neither nominated nor voted until the latest round, round 4, when he nominated and voted to lynch Bishop Banner, and was himself lynched.
I believe this means that he was trying to get nominations going in Round 1, but without information. Then he lay low until he identified an actual Mafia member by dint of much nocturnal drinking coffee in cold cars, peeking through keyholes, and private messages to The Great Gumball In The Sky. At that point he nominated the beastly Bishop.
Time to haul down, fold up, and dispose of that embarrassement to the episcopate, that felonious flag, that problematic prelate.
I nominate Bishop Banner for lynching.
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Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner was employed with the idea of updating his car, so that the old one could be used up at Smudge House. He had been giving this a lot of thought. It needed to be something appropriate, and of course it had to be environmentally responsible. He had just rung the dealership and put his name down for a Ferrari F430 when his mobile buzzed. On answering it, his face went pale. It was indeed, The Man Upstairs, the one whose shoes he was not worthy to tie.
The boss was a man of few words. Indeed, he had hardly said anything throughout the entire game. But now the Don had decided it was time to jettison his Black Bishop in the interests of a mob victory. The little Florenzians were baying for a permanent end to his episcopate. An office which Bishop Banner had made peculiarly his own. The dead detective had made too damning an accusation.
But if Bp Banner went, he was not going alone. He had obeyed the Big L's orders unequivocably, but now his Sicilian boss was remaining strangely uncaring in the shadow of the noose being strung up outside Bishop House by a crazy woman with a baby in a sling.
There is a tradition in film and literature, that just before the bad guy becomes history, he comes clean. Perhaps the weight of his many misdemeanors was too much for him at this point (or maybe Banner Lady was getting a bit discomforted with slagging off at the church through the sleazy purple shirt she had created). Why should the Bishop's other three colleagues have a victory when everyone reading wanted the good guys to win in the end?
Banner Lady dialled the Big L again, but the private number of the Sicilian simply rang out. Even the front office of the pizzeria wasn't answering.
Bishop Banner squealed his frustration. "Bloody mobsters! If I go, you go too, Salvatore Leonato and then let's all see what happens to your Empire of Evil!"
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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ephemera
Shipmate
# 13355
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Posted
Ella woke up (while it was still dark) with a throbbing headache. She got up and took 4 extra-strength aspirins and 4 vitamin Cs and immediately returned to bed. She pulled the covers up over her head and closed her eyes. In her dark cocoon, all she could hear were two large salamanders and a few skinks scampering on the hardwood floors. She knew they were hunting down the last of the fat crickets she bought at the pet store. She thought, "Tomorrow will be better." Little did she know, it wasn't getting better, it was getting worse, in Little Florence.
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A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket -
And you listening. T. Hughes
Posts: 583 | Registered: Jan 2008
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
D. Avelarge didn't know what to make of the Bishop's apparent confession. Of course, the Mob were likely to be cruel, cold-blooded and calculating so sacrificing one of their own was not unexpected. But the ill-discipline that the Bishop showed in naming the kingpin? There's no way that was for real. Either an attempt to split the vote, or to (falsely) incriminate someone who they knew was innocent. Avelarge knew which side his bread was buttered, and when it came to voting, there was only one sensible choice...
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
Now that a few people had shown up to take up the next shift of the vigil outside the little episcopal palace, decorated in a little florentine motif (the palace, not the people), Jane decided it would be a good time to head home for a comforting pot of tea. Also, it was time to change to a green baby sling. The white one had been liturgically correct on the day she put it on, but then she had told little Florent that it was to commemorate The Presentation In The Temple, a.k.a. The Feast Of The Chopping Off Of Parts Of Our Lord's Dangly Bits, and he (Florent, not Our Lord), had been wailing ever since.
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Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
Sir van der Hill was stunned. A public confession by the Bishop. Just went to show the hypocrisy of the Church. What's new? Next thing you'd know is the Rev who does all the funerals in fact keeps part of the bodies for his supper. And occasionally added one to the tally to fill up his fridge perhaps?
Anyway, there was no way he was going to fall for the red herring of the pizza man. Sure, with the quality of his cooking he deserved a lynching three times a day - but bad cooking no Mafioso makes. He was a criminal but no Mafioso.
They'd have to lynch the bish and do it with pomp and circumstance. At long last one baddie strung up.
But what then? He was at the moment only a little wiser as to who else would look suspicious enough for lynching the following day. One would need to re-read and analyse and debate the past behaviour of the townsfolk. But all in due course. And he'd hardly have the time for it, dash it. Just as things were looking up a bit.
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner knew it was unlikely he would survive much longer. The family were angry. Very angry, and the death threats had been coming thick and fast. Even his mentor, Monsignor Milat, the man he most aspired to be like, had called to tell him that as he was now a persona non grata; he was finished with him. True, Bp Banner did not admire Mons Milat for his holiness, his service or his humble estate. Bp Banner admired Mons Milat because the monisgnor had effected a retirement plan which was worthy of a prince. It was something which Bishop Banner had also greatly desired. This present circumstance was certainly NOT the retirement Bp Banner had envisaged for himself.
Sick of the hourly threats, the bishop had taken the phone off the hook. He wasn't sure how safe he was, even behind the ornately grilled windows of Bishop House. He knew only too well that the mafia always hit their targets. But even if he made it through this night, there was the mob of angry citizens waiting for him outside next morning. He turned his mobile off, and then turned it on again.
He wondered if perhaps there was a God after all? He wondered if he should commit suicide as the Don had apparently ordered? Would God forgive him then? How ironic that when he actually wanted to tell thr truth and do the right thing nobody in Little Florence would believe him. Suddenly he realized he needed the church in a way he had never needed it before. He knew it was after midnight, but he was sure Patrick, of all people, would listen as he bared his soul...
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
The nominations are:
Bishop Banner (Banner Lady) nominated by Autenrieth Road
Salvatore Leonato (leonato) nominated by Banner Lady
I see little point in asking for a defence, so you may now vote for Bishop Banner (Banner Lady) or Salvatore Leonato (leonato) to be lynched, or for no lynching. I'll give you 24 hours to vote. A majority of votes cast will see one of them swing. As the town's population has declined to 12, 7 votes will guarantee the operation of mob justice.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
The Man Who Wasn't Welsh woke to find Little Florence blanketed in snow. He realised this was the only beautiful thing about it and that something must be done to this little town which must rival the Midsomer community in the TV series. Furthermore, the deed would have to be done by the inhabitants and they should lynch Bishop Banner.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
Life in Little Florence never stops to surprise you.
When violence and death seemed to reign, the city's spiritual authority made quite a revelation. No, it didn't have to do with the out-of-this-world stuff the spiritual leaders of the beautiful city were usually engaging themselves in, but with very "temporal" issues.
As a result, confusion erupted, and again, it fell on a scientist to try and bring an order out of this chaos, an ordered based on the voice of reason and logic.
quote:
POINT 1: Other cities have been plagued by the mafia as well. But at no time in history before, and at no place known to the citizens of Little Florence had a mafioso "confessed".
POINT 2: This means that the situation we face is very unusual, to say the least.
POINT 3: This means that we shouldn't rush and make decisions without thinking about what it all means first.
Now, let us think about what predated the Bishop's "confession".
One of the city's detectives was lynched. But before he was lynched, a momentum was starting to build against the Bishop.
With Harry the Barber/Detective's lynching, the momentum grew very big, and it was to be expected that the Bishop would probably be the one to follow Harry in "the other place".
So, if the Bishop is mafia, he gets lynched, we get to find out he is mafia, and this is it. His confession serves no purpose, especially since nobody buys the accusations against leonato (although perhaps we should; we don't know what's going on behind the scenes, and there might be factions that clash with each other in the mob, WHICH IS A GOOD THING for us!)
But what if his confession serves a different purpose, what if us getting him lynched will reveal something different than what we had in mind while we were suspecting him of being a mobster?
Let's say that the Bishop turns out to be a citizen after he gets lynched. What will this mean about leonato?
Citizens of Little Florence, we must be thinking ahead of the Day's events, if we want to protect and save our city!
What I am clumsily trying to say is that if the Bishop turns out to be the city's second detective, at least we know with almost certainty who is an actual mobster (leonato), because the Bishop, foreseeing his imminent end, gave us that information, unlike Harry (rest his soul!) who even though was seeing his imminent end didn't warn us about his identity.
I mean, when you see the end coming, you say "stop it! I'm a detective, and I have examined this and that, and this was a citizen and that was a mafioso" or "I have examined this and that and none were mafioso".
You don't just die without helping the city protect itself.
But it seems that our detectives haven't been much use till now, have they? Especially if the Bishop turns out to be a second detective all along.
What do you think? My head hurts. I'm going to take some aspirin. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
[ 05. February 2009, 10:55: Message edited by: §Andrew ]
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Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
Ah, Dr. Andre, I see you have even more ability to see wheels within wheels than I do. Nevertheless, in this case I think there's one really huge obvious wheel, with very little room for other wheels inside them, and that's why I'm voting to lynch Bishop Banner.
Having done her civic duty and cast her vote, Jane turned back to packing for her EfM Mentor Training retreat. She popped little Florent in his carseat, strapped him in six ways from Sunday and two ways from Tuesday, and drove off. By the magic of her Raspberry PDA (as a poor single young struggling writer/mother, she couldn't afford its beter-known cousin), she expected she'd be able to keep in touch with events in Little Florence.
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Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
Rev Permin's head was now spinning - and without the help of any Scotch mist, either. Hot on the heels of another accusation aimed at the Bishop, Permin found the Bishop himself on his doorstep, pleading for a chance to talk. Over the course of a long conversation (in which His Grace had imbibed the last of Permin's stock of Scotland's finest), the Bishop appeared to admit to being in the pay of the Mob and threw himself on Permin's mercy, naming names (one name, anyway).
With the Bishop sleeping it off in the spare room of the vicarage, Patrick had barely begun to absorb the implications of his confession when Dr André came around and suggested that the Bishop was covering for someone else. Perhaps the Bishop should be spared after all?
However, Permin could not see the logic of the Doctor's reasoning. If the Bishop was not a member of the Mob, what benefit could there be to him in confessing publicly? While it would be in the interests of the Mafia to pinpoint an innocent, giving them automatic control of the town, how did that work with a self-nomination?
He wondered if, providing the Bishop was a mobster and was lynched, whether one more murder the next night would give the Mob control? If not, the town would have another - final - chance to remove a malign influence from the town. Permin now had his doubts about Dr André - what made a man try so hard to convince everyone that the Bishop's confession was false?
Rev Permin's conscience was troubled. All his instincts were against mob violence and revenge, especially against a man who was troubled enough to make a confession to the town. On the other hand, a vacancy in the See of Little Massachusetts would not be bad for prospects of preferment. He decided that he would not stop the mob when they came to his door for the Bishop, and knew that this was as good as a vote for lynching poor Bishop Banner. And may the Lord have mercy on all our souls... ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Autenrieth Road:
Ah, Dr. Andre, I see you have even more ability to see wheels within wheels than I do.
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
That's years of analytical thinking and philosophical speculation. (and sci fi novels)
I do think however that there is only one way to tell for sure, whether there are factions rivaling with each other in the mob or whether the bishop is no mafia at all...
I will vote for the Bishop with ONE qualification. Don't blame me if he turns out to be the second detective. But if he does turn out to be the detective, then, CITIZENS, leonato MUST be lynched next or our town will be taken over by the mob!
[ 05. February 2009, 15:13: Message edited by: §Andrew ]
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Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
As a stout albeit not-so-practising Presbie Sir van der Hill was not entirely disinclined to stringing up bishops as a rule under any circumstances. The fact that this one had confessed to being part of the Mafia rather than just the ordinary kind of criminal episcopus was just an added bonus. (Typical, though, that the town had only caught a mafioso after killing all its own watchmen, detectives and vigilantes and only due to a confession. Nobody seemed to study their Agatha Christie with some attention to detail any more. He mused whether they'd be lucky enough to find a sudden burst of qualms in someone else next day?)
As the clamour of the mob on the town square grew louder he heard himself mutter: "Hang this darned bish and good riddance too!"
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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ephemera
Shipmate
# 13355
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Posted
Ella awoke to a hugh throng of people running down the street with signs and banners screaming about lynching Bishop Banner. She quickly got out some paint and a large piece of cardboard and made a sign. She hung it out her window to the cheers of those in the crowd. It said, "Lynch Bishop Banner!"
Ella put 2 geckos on the window sill so they could bask in the sun. Then she went back to bed. ![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket -
And you listening. T. Hughes
Posts: 583 | Registered: Jan 2008
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Stevie Boy Wonder
Shipmate
# 11869
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Posted
Much like in the Little Florence elections, Steve Buckland knew his vote wouldn't actually make any difference, as the necessary majority had already been reached. However, unlike the Little Florence elections, Steve actually wanted to vote for the winning ticket this time; everyone else had got in early and bashed the bishop* before he had. "Lynch Bishop Banner!" he cried, before returning to his marking.
*oh, come on, someone had to say it... ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Jesus saves. But in the current economic climate, His pension probably won't be enough for eternity...
Also by the same author
Posts: 1599 | From: Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home | Registered: Sep 2006
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
That's more than enough to settle it. The votes are:
Bishop Banner (Banner Lady): 8 votes (§Andrew, Autenrieth Road, ephemera, lady in red, Rev per Minute, Sioni Sais, Stevie Boy Wonder, Sylvander)
Salvatore Leonato (leonato): 0 votes
No lynching: 0 votes
Banner Lady is unanimously lynched. Congratulations, citizens! She was a Mafioso. Once she's posted her death scene, night will fall.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Bishop Banner woke up groggily. His hitheto elegant soutane had liquor stains on it. What had happened? And where was he? Oh, yes, St.Cosimo's rectory. He looked up at the paint peeling off the cornices and shuddered. Why was he still alive? He took a deep breath and checked that he still had his nose, ears and lips. He could hear a comotion outside in the street, and he knew that the mob were coming for him. He recognized some of the voices baying for his blood, and began to blubber uncontrollably.
This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He had turned! He had seen the Light! He had found salvation at last! Why wouldn't anyone believe him? He fumbled for his cell phone for he knew there was one last call he had to make... there was not much time, and the cell phone desperately needed recharging...but he needed to speak to Bunny.
His mind roamed back to one of the perks of his profession: that of knowing confidential information. Although Bishop Banner was not the only one to evince interest in the 'completely confidential' medical files which had identified Ms Baker as a chronic nymphmaniac among her other disorders; it was her Obssessive Compulsive Disorder that meant she made an ideal housekeeper. Both these complaints were facets of the Acute Anxiety Disorder with which she had been diagnosed by a brilliant (and also highly immoral) man of medicine. For a considerable fee, the specialist had supplied ' The Black Bishop' with this delicious information which meant Bp Banner could have a housekeeper who met ALL his needs. It was a highly acceptable arrangement for all concerned.
“Bunny? Yes, it's me. Look, I love you. NO: I SAID I LOVE YOU! I just wanted you to know that...NO, I'M NOT OUT OF MY MIND! I LOVE YOU! And Bunny...Bunny, would you please have the two cases of Glenfidditch that have been aging in my cellar sent over to St.Cosimo's rectory as soon as possible? Yes: mark it ATTENTION: Rev.P.Permin. Thank you Bunny and may God Bl...........................................
It was at this point that the phone died and Rev.Permin flung open the door, saying over his shoulder: “He's in here, folks.” We'll gloss over the fact that Bishop Banner went to his death squealing like a girl, and voided his bowels all over his episcopal purple. This is a Christian web site, after all...
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
And on that note...
Night falls
If you have night actions, you may now take them.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Day breaks
ONE LAST CLIENT FOR WREATH-MAKER
Yesterday's lynching of a mafioso behind Little Florence's soaring homicide rate appears to have done little to stem the carnage in the town, as Jane Austen-Wreath was found dead last night.
It seems highly likely that the wreath-maker was killed in revenge for her role in the lynching of mobster Bishop Banner, having led yesterday's lynch mob. "If you speak out, they'll get you," a neighbour told us, "But if you don't they'll pick you off one by one. It doesn't look good either way, to be honest."
A close friend, who asked to remain anonymous, said "It's so awful for this to happen to poor Jane now. Her business was really doing well out of half the town being slaughtered, and now she's been killed as well! I mean, what are the odds?" With a shortage of wreaths and pall-bearers running out, it seems that future funerals are going to be increasingly frugal.
Autenrieth Road has been murdered. She was a Citizen. Once she's posted her death scene, nominations will be open for lynching. The 10 remaining townsfolk are:
§Andrew
Chelley
davelarge
ephemera
lady in red
leonato
Rev per Minute
Sioni Sais
Stevie Boy Wonder
Sylvander
With one mobster and one innocent dead since my last warning, the equation for the citizens remains the same. Lynching an innocent is likely to see the mob taking control, while no lynching will at least ensure that another day will dawn without that happening.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
The ghosts of the good people, wrongly killed, float over the town.
Has anyone seen the Bish, yet? If he gets to float with us, I can think of some things we can do to let him know how ticked we are at him. I'm going to stick my tongue out at him! ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Yes, I'd like a word with that ghost about the little manner of a forged will. Leave Smudge Towers to the church indeed!
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
Could one of you other-worldlers help Miss Jane a bit? Her death seems to be a pro-longed and painful affair. One of you floating into the room cloaked in a white robe with holes for eyes might help her weak and failing heart over the edge.
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
Miss Jane had had a very satisfying EfM Mentor Training retreat over at the Jesuit Renewal Center in Big Clara. Driving back into town, she stopped at the post office. Even astute Citizens who had not voted to lynch the innocent Postie, were nevertheless required to pick their mail up themelves now. (The Mafia, it was rumoured, had a Private Message system of their own.)
Opening the one envelope, she found a sheet with newspaper letters raggedly glued on:
quote:
Funeral tomorrow. Make a wreath. We'll pick up tonight.
Jane hurried home and went into her workroom. Little Florent lay in his crib cooing while Jane bent to her task. She had just attached the final black frills and purple furbelows (none of this Mourning And Funerals Are So Passe, We Only Have Celebrations Of Life In Liturgical White baloney for an Austen Wreath) when the doorbell rang. (Jane was also fond of long parenthetical comments, but they were harder to express artistically on a wreath.)
Jane opened the door. A shot rang out. She heard little Florent's startled wailing. Her last thought as she felt blood oozing slowly in a puddle around her was, "Who will make sure my honey-diddums gets baptized now?" She saw a white light and felt herself to be floating down a long tunnel in a tweetle beetle paddle battle puddle muddle. The rest is silence.
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Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Lucinda looked sadly at little Florent, who was finally asleep in a laundry basket in the corner of her kitchen. She hadn’t been prepared for a baby, but she couldn’t have refused to take him in, poor little thing. He’d howled all morning. She tried her best with cuddles and bottles, but she couldn’t give him his mother back, which was what he really wanted. What was this town coming to?
Lucinda looked around her suspiciously. She suspected that not that much information could be gathered from the lynching of Bishop Banner, because his comments prior to his death seemed to imply that the mafia had had some kind of dispute and so some of his former comrades in arms had probably contributed to his lynching. And she wasn't convinced by that line about Salvatore Leonato, which had presumably been a desperate attempt to avoid death by pointing the finger elsewhere.
Hhhmmmm… ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif) She decides to ask The Man who wasn’t Welsh why he had been so keen to string up the town’s detective.
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
In the absence of a Messagio Privado (?) I had better reply here.
I messed up with Harry: just 'cos townsfolk don't get on is a lousy reason to lynch someone, but desperate times, etc, etc. Using 18/20 hindsight I realise now that I got it wrong.
Hart (lately our detective) had not only pointed the finger at Bishop Banner but also much earlier at Professor Chells. In the that round Bishop Banner was put up for lynching and the bishop, instead of voting for Professor Chells (in line with the detective’s line of enquiry) or herself (just plain bizarre, but we were dealing with a mobster) voted for no lynching, which was the result.
Professor Chells then states (19 Jan 11:10 GMT) that she didn’t murder Prof DeVille. Prof Chells and Bishop Banner (dec’d, Mobster) posted immediately after one another just before then regarding the same days events and nominated no one (AFAICS).
My conclusion is therefore that Prof Chells and Bishop Banner acted there in common cause and that cause is The Mob.
I therefore nominate Professor Chells for lynching.
[ 08. February 2009, 20:03: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Hart (lately our detective) had not only pointed the finger at Bishop Banner but also much earlier at Professor Chells.
And it was pointed out later that that was the round before he'd got actual information as I am still a citizen.
quote:
In the that round Bishop Banner was put up for lynching and the bishop, instead of voting for Professor Chells (in line with the detective’s line of enquiry) or herself (just plain bizarre, but we were dealing with a mobster) voted for no lynching, which was the result.
Professor Chells then states (19 Jan 11:10 GMT) that she didn’t murder Prof DeVille. Prof Chells and Bishop Banner (dec’d, Mobster) posted immediately after one another just before then regarding the same days events and nominated no one (AFAICS).
Prof Chells stated she didn't murder Prof DeVille because she didn't murder Prof DeVille, or anyone. If we posted around the same time it's pure coincidence.
quote:
My conclusion is therefore that Prof Chells and Bishop Banner acted there in common cause and that cause is The Mob.
I therefore nominate Professor Chells for lynching.
Well that would be a wrong conclusion and if others follow your call for my lynching you'll be going after one of the (presumably) few citizens left.
Prof Chells shook her head at the need to defend herself once again and looked around again at her neighbours.... she wondered about that Steve Buckland who'd seemed to have such an innocent face, but...
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"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
Rev Permin was in for a busy few days - if he lived that long, which in this town was looking unlikely. Jane Austen-Wreath's funeral would be a colourful affair: apparently every wreath in her workshop would decorate the bier, to the extent that Permin doubted that the usual six pall-bearers would be sufficient. The remainder of the town wanted young Florent to be baptised as soon as possible, probably on the basis that the child's life expectancy was no better than theirs. And, of course, there was to be the Bishop's funeral. The Presiding Bishop had decided that Bishop Banner was still entitled to all the usual obsequies (Permin had had to look that one up) but, in the circumstances, perhaps not in the Cathedral of St Lucrezia. Perhaps St Cosimo's could host the funeral?
As he packed his mobile baptism kit (bottle of water, bottle of oil, small towel), Permin thought about the problem of the Mafia still rife in the town. He could not understand why the Bishop, in his fit of contrition, should name another member of the Mob - as he understood the rules of that shadowy world, the Mob played to win, even when faced with their own death. On that basis, there was no reason for the Bishop to 'out' another Mobster: it was much more likely that the Bishop was trying to distract attention from the real killers.
Others had pointed the finger at Prof Chells. But Permin's own suspicions had been raised by the Doctor, whose arguments for not lynching the Bishop had been fairly self-serving and could only have served to protect the Mob's take-over. Permin was also far from keen on the Doctor's use of improper language and an attachment to squiggles.
Rev Permin prayed for forgiveness then said out loud, to no-one in particular, "I nominate Dr André for lynching."
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
By my reckoning, we've got 3 nominations for lynching so far. I'll give it another couple of hours before I close nominations.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
Ok, in view of the fact that the origin of the town's sole success so far was a suicidal confession, Sir van der Hill decided to grab the chance of chipping in a call for someone to save their soul.
"Come forward," he spokes in market square, "you'll get a deal and save your skin. There's some around who oppose capital punishment out of principle."
[...tick...tick...tick...tick]
Hullo, hullo, hullo! Not all at once on board the Crown Witness Sloop Survivor please! Stop fighting for first place! Surely even mafiosi can form a proper queue! This is New England, not a bus stop in Germany.
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
The ghosts of the good people, wrongly killed, float over the town.
Has anyone seen the Bish, yet? If he gets to float with us, I can think of some things we can do to let him know how ticked we are at him. I'm going to stick my tongue out at him!
Oh my dear, you are so very young. You cannot imagine the possibilities there are for making the Bishop wish she had never been born.
Flying around isn't the only thing ghosts can do.
Being a ghost is so much fun, especially when you have people like Dafyd and the Bishop to torment.
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Pax Romana
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********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chelley:
Prof Chells shook her head at the need to defend herself once again and looked around again at her neighbours.... she wondered about that Steve Buckland who'd seemed to have such an innocent face, but...
And so the Prof decided later to nominate him.
[ 09. February 2009, 15:17: Message edited by: Chelley ]
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"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
We have 4 nominations. They are:
TMW3 (Sioni Sais) nominated by lady in red
Professor Chells (Chelley) nominated by Sioni Sais
Dr André (§Andrew) nominated by Rev per Minute
Steve Buckland (Stevie Boy Wonder) nominated by Chelley
As there are so many contenders for a lynching, I suggest we have a defence phase, so that the accused can defend themselves, and the rest of the population of the town can wrangle over the best course of action.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Stevie Boy Wonder
Shipmate
# 11869
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Posted
Steve Buckland had noticed lots of suspicious glances at the parents' evening, but it wasn't until he was taken to one side by the school's head that he discovered the reason why. He wasn't surprised to find people talking about him - when the population is paranoid and rapidly shrinking, it's pretty inevitable - but he couldn't think how his behaviour could have led to Prof Chells' accusation. Still, it was nice that she'd said he had an innocent face; it matched the rest of his body.
Sensing that the best course of action was to address the rumours quickly, he tapped on his desk and cleared his throat. The assembled parents fell silent...
"Ladies and gentlemen, citizens of Little Florence, I am sure you have heard the local gossip suggesting that I am involved in the mafia activity in this city. I would like to assure you that I have no links to the organised crime scene, as doing so would compromise all my principles. The whole reason I became a teacher was because I wanted to be a good role model to the next generation. You see, I believe the children are our future - it's important to teach them well and let them lead the way. (these are not my words of course, the eagle-eyed among you will have noticed I borrowed them from Jack Black in School of Rock...)
I know it's difficult to know who to trust in this city, and I do not know the reasons why Prof Chells has chosen to accuse me, but I can promise you I stand alongside you, my fellow citizens, in my determination to see the mafia defeated. It may seem hopeless, but I truly believe we can still run these mobsters out of Little Florence. Can we beat them? YES WE CAN!"
Then he realised the last part of his speech had sounded less like Barack Obama and more like Bob The Builder, and decided it was time to stop talking...
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Jesus saves. But in the current economic climate, His pension probably won't be enough for eternity...
Also by the same author
Posts: 1599 | From: Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
The Man Who Wasn't Welsh llooks* back at Lucinda's post and wonders how that question on a separate topic has been taken as an accusation, and hence a nomination for lynching.
I have already replied to Lucinda (8 Feb, 21:00 GMT) so that will have to be taken into account: moreover, I did my bit to get the ball rolling for the movement to string up the evil Bishop Banner, the town's sole success so far.
What he does note is that after nominating Prof. Chells, she asserts outright that she is a citizen, did not murder Prof. DeVille and now nominates Steve Buckland. Weird or what?
*yes, llooks. I've been living by yur that long.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
D. Avelarge listened with interest to what was being said. He noted that Buckland could only come up with his own character witness as a defence. Not terribly impressive.
On the other hand:
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
I have already replied to Lucinda (8 Feb, 21:00 GMT) so that will have to be taken into account: moreover, I did my bit to get the ball rolling for the movement to string up the evil Bishop Banner, the town's sole success so far.
"That doesn't really count," said Avelarge, "seeing as how the Mob sacrificed the Bishop for the Good of the Family™. Again, not a very convincing defence.
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
Fellow Citizens!
You all know who I am and the good I have done to this city, be it either through my work or through my donations and philanthropy.
That the city's vicar, of all people, got to accuse me is astonishing.
If the city had followed my arguments, the town's detective would still be among us. If the city had chosen to abstain from lynching anyone at the first two nights, like I did, we wouldn't have had the blood of innocent people on our hands.
Why would a mafioso try to protect the city, like I have?
It's time that the city begins to appreciate her benefactors rather than send them to hades!
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Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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