My profile login | | Directory | Search | FAQs | Board home   Printer-friendly view   » Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Circus: Taking it literally (Page 6) Email this page to a friend or enemy.   Pages in this thread: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8    Source: (consider it) Thread: Circus: Taking it literally Pearl B4 Swine Ship's Oyster-Shucker # 11451 Posted                        The bad thing, however, was that his tens, elevens and twelves were quite uncovered, and flapping in the breeze! If you know what I mean. Speaking of uncovered, at the staff meeting yesterday, Madame Pastor had on a filmy blouse, which gaped open a good bit when she leant the least bit over, revealing much cleavage and surrounding area --in fact you could see all the way to China! -------------------- Oinkster "I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job) Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged Joyeux Ship's Lady of Laughter # 3851 Posted                        After such a pointed demonstration of the poor grasp the generally education has on geography, I was inspired as to my instructional calling: lighting hit my brain! -------------------- Float?...Do science too Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged aggg Shipmate # 13727 Posted                        This often happens in buildings where there is insufficient care of maintenance of lighting fixtures I've noticed. So the next thing I knew, I was on the way to Ikea to find the right lightbulb. I decided to visit the cafe as I needed a shot in the arm. -------------------- Myrrh: please, in future refrain from replying to anything I might write Posts: 567 | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged Nunzia Shipmate # 4766 Posted                        They're pretty trigger-happy in the cafe, and before I could swill back my Americano, I had been shot in the arm. "Why I thought I needed this, I don't know " I pondered aloud" I need this like I need a hole in the head" The armed, caffeine-crazed drifter at the next table pricked up his ears at that, and I knew it was time to leave. It had been far too eventful a day, and I longed to be bored to death. -------------------- ----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----. Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged aggg Shipmate # 13727 Posted                        Fortunately a distraught bull inexplicably on the loose inside Ikea was happy to oblige and I took a horn in the belly. My last thought was 'oh goodie'. I had clearly had my chips. -------------------- Myrrh: please, in future refrain from replying to anything I might write Posts: 567 | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged Nunzia Shipmate # 4766 Posted                        And they were delicious, as befits a last meal. But..if I'm dead, doesn't that mean the thread dies too? It's only six pages...too young to die! But then isn't it better to go quickly, than to drift on pointlessly for pages and pages with no quality of life, until an overworked host sighs and finally pulls the plug? [ 09. September 2009, 14:56: Message edited by: Nunzia ] -------------------- ----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----. Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged MiceElf Not your average mouse # 4389 Posted                        I realised that I was simply over tired and a little run down, I knew deep down that the world was my oyster, but right now it was clear that I couldnt see beyond the end of my nose. -------------------- What do we want.... Cure for Obesity When do we want it.... After Dessert. Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged Jahlove Tied to the mast # 10290 Posted                        Which proved, beyond reasonable doubt, that I was (a) not lying and (b) not made of wood. Which was a relief after the REALLY hard couple of days I'd been experiencing. Who can blame me for going out, painting the town red and rolling home three sheets to the wind?* *two for the price of one, there, folks. -------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged Pooks Shipmate # 11425 Posted                       Just when I was pretty pleased with my handiwork in painting the town red, I heard a deep cough behind me and a menacing voice said ‘What’s all this?’ I turned around and saw that it was the local bobby with knitted eyebrows looking at me disapprovingly. He promptly hauled me to court and the local magistrate, who had no aesthetic taste for red, ruled that I should un-paint the town red as punishment for my crime. Since I didn’t have the time to wipe the slate clean, I prayed to the Almighty to let it rain cats and dogs so the evidence of my sin would be washed away. Posts: 1547 | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged Smudgie Ship's Barnacle # 2716 Posted                        Immediately my prayer was answered and a violent storm of cats and dogs began showering down on all and sundry, though it was hardly as effective as I'd hoped in clearing off all the red paint. In fact quite the opposite, as the darned cats insited on walking through the paint trays and leaving a trail of bright red footprints everywhere they went, while the golden retrievers somehow turned into red setters and, feeling a soggy sensation around the socks, I looked down to find I had stepped in a poodle! Not wanting to be caught red-handed, I thrust the paintbrush into the hands of an innocent passerby, but the policeman was not so gullible as to fall for this red herring. -------------------- Miss you, Erin. Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged mousethief Ship's Thieving Rodent # 953 Posted                       "How did a herring come to have hands?" the policeman asked as the fish in question swam away with my paintbrush. The officer cuffed me and led me away to the black maria. There was nothing I could do but bite the bullet. -------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you... Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Angel Wrestler Ship's Hipster # 13673 Posted                       My hands were cuffed so I held the bullet from my arm in my teeth because I wanted to keep it for a memento of my rather adventurous life. I was red-faced as I charmed my way out of being held under arrest and the cop unlocked the handcuffs and let me get back to painting. "Go on, get out of here!" he said. So I hauled ass out of there. -------------------- The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist. (unknown) Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged Smudgie Ship's Barnacle # 2716 Posted                        If you've ever tried to pull a donkey in a direction it doesn't choose to go, you'll know what a Herculean task this was. My instince was to run as fast as I could while the going was good, but my conscience told me it was unfair to make a bid for freedom while leaving the donkey in the clutches of the police. What didn't occur to me at the time was that this was the very same donkey that I had been pretending to kick earlier in this saga and it had been taken into protective custody at its own request. If I weren't careful I'd find myself with a pig in a poke. -------------------- Miss you, Erin. Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged jacobsen seeker # 14998 Posted                        However, given my fateful relationship to the donkey, the RSPCA intervened, removed the pig from the poke, and rehomed it in a children's farm where it would get plenty of petting and never never never end up as the mainstaple of a breakfast bar. I heaved a sigh of relief. It had been a very close call. [ 10. September 2009, 16:41: Message edited by: jacobsen ] -------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty. Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged Ariel Shipmate # 58 Posted                          So close that my ear was still a bit deaf for several minutes after I'd put the mobile phone back in my pocket; still, the rest of me seemed to work OK so I was free to carry on. Oddly enough, I rather missed the pig, which had been (and probably still was) a small, perky, intelligent Tamworth with a mind of its own and a half-eaten second-prize rosette that was a souvenir of some county show or other. But whether it missed me was another matter altogether. And given its inquisitive, active nature, I'd have the devil's own job keeping tabs on it. Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Pearl B4 Swine Ship's Oyster-Shucker # 11451 Posted                        <double cross-post> I researched my 'answer' so long that I missed the opportunity to use it - you do realize that Pigs are my area of expertise ! So, you're getting it anyway. The reason I was lugging around a portly pig in that large bag was that I was smuggling her into a jazz concert. She was hungry to hear some guys with "real chops" go at it. She had some music playing device going in that bag & I could hear this stuff, and her muttering & snorting, "Way Cool, man, Far OUT" -------------------- Oinkster "I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job) Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged Angel Wrestler Ship's Hipster # 13673 Posted                       "You can say THAT again!" I replied. Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged Pooks Shipmate # 11425 Posted                       “Way Cool, man, Far OUT!" I heard the voice say it again. “Alright, alright!” I replied crossly to the piggy that I believed God was using to tell me to go to the north pole, since that was the only place I could think of that was both cold all the way and far out from any direction. Still, as I had an affection for the cute and cuddly polar bears ever since I was a baby with a stuffed toy bear to snuggle up to, the thought of being able to hug a real polar bear was a rather appealing prospect. Thus cheered up, I decided that as long as I didn’t have an albatross around my neck, this was going to be great. Posts: 1547 | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged mousethief Ship's Thieving Rodent # 953 Posted                       Suddenly, the ghost of the dowager princess appeared and pointed a ghostly finger at the necklace I didn't remember having on, a small golden albatross. This decided me: the pig and I would head for the south pole, where there were no polar bears. But it was going to take a while to get there; trudging this pig with me had given me a hitch in my getalong. -------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you... Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Nunzia Shipmate # 4766 Posted                        It was awfully nice of those little dogies to give me a hitch. It was relaxing just to sit in the back seat, and I'd always wanted to see Wyoming. But in retrospect, I think they did it for the pig. Some folks just have a soft spot for pigs. [ 12. September 2009, 05:06: Message edited by: Nunzia ] -------------------- ----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----. Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged jacobsen seeker # 14998 Posted                        But, in fact, the soft spot is the golden squishy yolk of the fried egg which accompanies crisp, curling slices of breakfast bacon. Thoughts of toast and fresh coffee filled my mind. A flood of saliva took me by surprize. I turned to my fellow passenger, and regarded the pig with new eyes. [ 12. September 2009, 11:52: Message edited by: jacobsen ] -------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty. Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged Chorister Completely Frocked # 473 Posted                          'Was blind but now I see...', I sang to the startled pig. With truly amazing grace, I viewed the renewed world around me, delighted with my new laser-surgery-enhanced eyes. As well as pigs, sheep, cows and chickens, I could now see a farmer and his wife coming towards me. I deduced that, although the farmer was wise enough, his wife was several sandwiches short of a picnic. -------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change. Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged mousethief Ship's Thieving Rodent # 953 Posted                       "I packed a picnic lunch for us all," she said, "but somebody has eaten several of the sandwiches already." She looked hard at the pig, which gazed back innocently. "I think that's my pig you have there," the farmer said, "Look at the tattoo inside its left ear." Sure enough, the tattoo said, "I am his pig." He had me dead to rights. -------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you... Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Ariel Shipmate # 58 Posted                          I might have been dead to rights but I was live to lefts, so I made a quick exit in that direction, with a few sandwiches for later. It was a fine day and I decided to walk on and enjoy the fresh country air, and see where the road took me. There wasn't much traffic about, so it was all quite pleasant. About ten minutes later, I was passed by a cyclist going hell for leather. Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged jacobsen seeker # 14998 Posted                        "Why Marvin," I said in surprize. "Fancy seeing you here. Who's guarding the shop down below?" "Why don't you climb aboard and see?" he replied. We're having a Hosts and Admin Fun Day. Lots of party games, and the losers will be hung out to dry." -------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty. Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged Chorister Completely Frocked # 473 Posted                          I knew I should have played my joker on the Everlasting Sentences round. Ah well, being on the losing side and being hung out to dry wasn't all bad - we got to stay out in the sunshine, with a peg on our waistbands, while the others had to stay indoors to wash and tidy up. When we were let down again, someone suggested we all head off to the pub for a pint or two, to end the evening. For once we were all in agreement, as the night was yet young. -------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change. Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged Jahlove Tied to the mast # 10290 Posted                        Will Young finished his set to almost universal booing for his elderly repertoire so, in fact, the night was not *young* but *old*. I was spending some well-deserved time in the bar when I got a call from Mrs Anvil to say that things were really kicking off at the laundry and could I come round and pour oil on troubled waters? -------------------- “Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged Amanda B. Reckondwythe Dressed for Church # 5521 Posted                       But the oil just made the water extra-slippery. Remembering the haunting lyric to Will Young's last song, "You can walk but you can't skate," I walked as gingerly as I could. Perhaps a pair of skates would have helped after all. But I had no way of getting a pair, and eventually my feet flew out from under me. -------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr. Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged mousethief Ship's Thieving Rodent # 953 Posted                       As I watched my feet fly away, I wondered if I'd ever see them again. Thankfully they soon got tired and flew back, eager to be connected to the arteries again. With my feet reattached, I decided to head for bed. As tired as I was, I was sure I would sleep like a rock. -------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you... Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Timothy the Obscure Mostly Friendly # 292 Posted                        Which I did--I had no idea that plate tectonics could be so disturbing. Every time a fault somewhere slipped a millimeter I woke up. I finally gave up and hit the streets, just as the rosy fingers of dawn were probing through the early mists... -------------------- When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.   - C. P. Snow Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Smudgie Ship's Barnacle # 2716 Posted                        "Oooh, er.. Dawn!" I giggled as her rosy fingers appeared through the mists and made contact with my most ticklish spot just as I was bending down to hit the road. The pain in my fist from making contact with the concrete was soon forgotten as Dawn continued her probing and found all my most ticklish spots, leaving me a crumpled giggling gibbering wreck on the floor, writhing in an exquisite agony. She was merciless and I was putty in her hands. -------------------- Miss you, Erin. Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged Stejjie Shipmate # 13941 Posted                           So much did I enjoy Dawn's hands that I failed to notice her double-glazing van. Suddenly I was being attached to the window frame and a piece of uPVC was heading my way!! I managed to wriggle myself out just in time. Having regained a vaguely human shape, I decided to hit the bar till I got plastered. -------------------- A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged Smudgie Ship's Barnacle # 2716 Posted                        Indeed, it was a really stupid decision for me to have made, seeing as a plaster cast on that broken arm I gained from repeatedly hitting that metal bar was going to be a real hindrance to anything else I might choose to do, especially as the other hand was still sore from where I'd hit the road too. Still, at least I was keeping the medical profession in business. There was no sign of Dawn or her dodgy window-fitting scam. I decided it was time I pulled my socks up and sorted myself out. -------------------- Miss you, Erin. Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged Amanda B. Reckondwythe Dressed for Church # 5521 Posted                       I never realized I had so many odd parts! I sorted as much of me as I could into plastic bins I had picked up at the local 99-cent shop, but even so there was lots left over that I had no idea what to do with. My doctor had once told me that my only health problem was that I had too much Miss Amanda -- that I could either spend more money on clothes or less money on food. And so, remembering his advice, I went straight to the best restaurant in the neighborhood, ordered the best meal they had on the menu, and licked the platter clean! [ 14. September 2009, 15:55: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ] -------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr. Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged Stejjie Shipmate # 13941 Posted                           Unfortunately, while I thought I was licking food off the plate, it was actually a very rare design. The owner of the restaurant was less than impressed with the "cleanliness" of said platter. IN his fury, he showed me another plate with the same design - I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on. -------------------- A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged mousethief Ship's Thieving Rodent # 953 Posted                       Causing me to collapse to the floor, sadly with said plate in hand. It smashed into a million pieces, and I knew the enraged manager was going to rip me limb from limb. -------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you... Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Stejjie Shipmate # 13941 Posted                           Given my legless state, this was less painful that it might have been. However, my lack of arms meant I was unable to pay for the damage to the plate. It looked like I'd got away scot-free, while he was spitting feathers. -------------------- A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged Ariel Shipmate # 58 Posted                          Well, not completely scot-free - as I escaped out of the restaurant in a shower of feathers, conveniently forgetting to pay the bill, I was pursued down the road by a large, burly kilt-wearing man called Hamish who cried out, "Come back! Ye forgot tae pay yer bill!" "You're quite right," I shouted back and jumped hastily onto a passing Number 21 bus. I was getting out of here. The world was going to hell in a handbasket. Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Amanda B. Reckondwythe Dressed for Church # 5521 Posted                       The handbasket sped past the No. 21 bus, the latter being one of the slowest on an infamously slow route. But it did not speed by so fast that I was unable to make out exactly who it was who was bound for the nether regions in said handbasket. And so I waved to the dowager princess, the bishop, Lady Plimpton and my dear friend Dawn as they gesticulated wildly in return. "Toodle-oo," I called out, "Happy trails!" -------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr. Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged Nunzia Shipmate # 4766 Posted                        And the trail I chose to walk on, having tired of the other myriad forms of transportation I'd been on, was indeed happy as a clam. "Go ahead, baby, walk all over me;You know how I love it" it murmured to me in a deep gravelly voice. I dropped a soda can on the trail and it shivered with delight. No doubt about it, this trail was one sick puppy. -------------------- ----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----. Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged Smudgie Ship's Barnacle # 2716 Posted                        Immediately I realised what I was thinking and leapt off the trail and into the wet grass alongside. With my animal cruelty record, albeit an innocently acquired one, it was not going to be a good idea in anyone's book to walk on a sick puppy, no matter how happy that puppy was. And at least the grass wasn't about to start talking to me. Still, knowing the prevelance of Lyme Disease in the area, I reminded myself that I'd better keep an eye out for ticks. -------------------- Miss you, Erin. Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged MiceElf Not your average mouse # 4389 Posted                        Fortunately at that very moment, a travelling fairground stopped beside me, and I was able win a small golden fish contained in a plastic bag filled with water, just by throwing darts at board and scoring 21 This was just the very thing I needed for carrying my eye in! I was soon accosted by a rather rude young boy who demanded to know why I was carrying a fish and an eye around with me. I told him my story leaving out the references to animal cruelty, but he did not beleive a word of it and shouted Liar Liar - Pants on Fire and caused such a commotion I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. -------------------- What do we want.... Cure for Obesity When do we want it.... After Dessert. Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged Smudgie Ship's Barnacle # 2716 Posted                        The ground not being a sentient being (with the exception of the happy trail, of course), it failed to oblige, but the goldfish in the bag obviously had delusions of grandeur as it opened its mouth wide and promptly swallowed me whole. I felt a bit like Jonah, except that in this case the creature was too small to fit me comfortably in its belly and, as my pants were on fire too, it exploded into a million tiny pieces, spewing me out onto the floor once more. I found myself lying, in a pile of fish fingers, at the feet of the animal cruelty lady who tutted in my general direction. I rolled my eyes at her in a gesture of utter helplessness. -------------------- Miss you, Erin. Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged Pearl B4 Swine Ship's Oyster-Shucker # 11451 Posted                        The Cruelty-Lady had taken a part-time job in a bowling alley, as "pin-boy" (only very old people will know about this), and I was trying to roll my eyes down the alley, staying out of the gutter. She refused to send my eyes back via the ball return thingy, so I thought I'd better move on in my quest- I had quite forgotten exactly what my quest was - other trails to ride, other fish to fry, and so on; if I was to accomplish anything I had better skeedaddle and get a leg up on it. -------------------- Oinkster "I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job) Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged Amanda B. Reckondwythe Dressed for Church # 5521 Posted                       (Miss Amanda remembers pin-boys.) I had selected the best looking pin-boy to practice my acrobatics on. As I got my leg up on him, he looked surprised at first, then shocked, then ecstatic (much to my relief). "Why, Miss Amanda," he cooed, "I didn't know you cared." "Hey, let's make music!" I replied. -------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr. Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged Ariel Shipmate # 58 Posted                          His eyes lit up and he immediately whipped out his trombone. I deliberated for about three seconds wondering which of my many instruments I should choose - the organ? Too obvious - I pulled out a small folding piano, unfolded it to the correct size and we were away. In a short space of time we'd attracted quite a crowd in the street, including a well-known Hollywood publicist, had made a small fortune busking and had a variety of lucrative musical engagements suddenly lined up - in short, the stars were ours. Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged mousethief Ship's Thieving Rodent # 953 Posted                       Unfortunately there are a lot of stars, and we owed tax on every one of them. Our busking take just about paid it off, along with the proceeds from our next 3 live shows. Once that was over we sold the stars from the back of a truck in a vacant lot, netting quite a tidy profit. Sometimes you think something is a good investment, but it turns out you can't see the forest for the trees. -------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you... Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Nunzia Shipmate # 4766 Posted                        Now that was a bad investment, setting up as a Seeing-Eye Human for vision-impaired trees. First, they didn't seem to see the need for my services, and when I handed out my business cards, one asked me with a menacing bark, "So where'd you get the paper for these, then?" He waved his limbs at me and I knew it was time to go. One more moment and I would've been toast. -------------------- ----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----. Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged jacobsen seeker # 14998 Posted                        Fortunately, as the Great Grill of the World rolled into sight, I scarpered in the opposite direction. I nice mess I was in now. No cash, no stars, no gigs. A pretty kettle of fish, indeed. -------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty. Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged Ariel Shipmate # 58 Posted                          In fact, it was an extraordinary beautiful kettle of fish, made as it was of clear crystal, filled with iridescent, opalescent, shimmering rainbow-hued fish of many colours (not that I'm one to repeat myself), darting here and there. The sight was so pretty that I took several photographs, painted a large picture and turned up at the gates of the nearest art gallery with them under my arm to see if they might be suitable for the next exhibition. The exhibition turned out to be Surrealism, so they were quite happy to take depictions of fish, and pay me a decent cash advance, and I went away feeling that the world was my oyster. [ 18. September 2009, 17:25: Message edited by: Ariel ] Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Pages in this thread: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8    Printer-friendly view Go to: Select a board: Category: Ship's business -------------------- The Styx Category: Community discussion -------------------- Heaven Purgatory Hell All Saints Category: Special interest discussion -------------------- Ecclesiantics Kerygmania The Circus Dead Horses The Eighth Day Category: Ship's Locker -------------------- Glory Limbo Category: Things we did -------------------- Nativity Play Auctions The Laugh Judgment The Da Vinci Code Chapter & Worse Contact us | Ship of Fools | Privacy statement © Ship of Fools 2016 UBB.classicTM 6.5.0