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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Change-a-letter Bible
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I love the Lord, for he has heard the vice of my supplication.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Matthew 8:3
And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched ham, saying, I will; be thou clean.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Orlando098
Shipmate
# 14930
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Posted
haha. So he was decreeing it would no longer be banned under his new covenant?
Posts: 1019 | From: Nice, France | Registered: Jul 2009
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I just find 'em, I don't interpret 'em.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
To Yaweh belong earth and all it holds,
the world and all who dive in it;
he himself founded it on the ocean,
based it firmly on the nether sea.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Nunzia
Shipmate
# 4766
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Matthew 8:3
And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched ham, saying, I will; be thou clean.
The Curing of the Ham. One of my favorite miracles.
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----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----.
Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003
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Nunzia
Shipmate
# 4766
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Posted
Many are culled, but few are chosen.
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----- ---------. ---- - ---- ----.
Posts: 1903 | From: Crazy-glued to the ledge | Registered: Jul 2003
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Proverbs 17:16
Why is there a prick in the hand of a fool?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
And the earth was without form and void, and the Spirit of God hoovered over the face of the waters.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Isaiah 10: And the spirit of the Lord shall nest upon him.
And don't evangelise in University towns:
Matthew 7: Do not give what is holy to dons.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not oink.
Ps 69:14
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Loveheart:
quote:
Originally posted by Jahlove:
<psst! Mousethief! Don't tell RW ![[Biased]](wink.gif) >
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Fake, eat, this is my body
(Matt. 26:26)
Vindication for RW? ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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Orlando098
Shipmate
# 14930
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not oink.
Ps 69:14
haha I like how you keep finding ones that give the sentence a whole new meaning rather than just being weird
Posts: 1019 | From: Nice, France | Registered: Jul 2009
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Orlando098
Shipmate
# 14930
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Esmeralda:
And the earth was without form and void, and the Spirit of God hoovered over the face of the waters.
Posts: 1019 | From: Nice, France | Registered: Jul 2009
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Orlando098
Shipmate
# 14930
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Posted
And I took my stand on the seashore. Then I saw a feast emerge from the sea.
Posts: 1019 | From: Nice, France | Registered: Jul 2009
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Job 9:12
If He tokes away, who can hinder Him? Who can say to Him, ‘What are You doing?’
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Orlando098
Shipmate
# 14930
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Posted
A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the bun
Posts: 1019 | From: Nice, France | Registered: Jul 2009
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Orlando098
Shipmate
# 14930
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Posted
LOL Mousethief, do you have some sort of change-a-letter-Bible software or just too much time on your hands? ![[Smile]](smile.gif) [I had to look up toke in the urbandictionary ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif) ]
Posts: 1019 | From: Nice, France | Registered: Jul 2009
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Isaiah 49:6
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your balls are continually before Me.
[ETA: just a twisted mind and an online bible lookup engine]
[ 16. September 2009, 20:50: Message edited by: mousethief ]
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290
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Posted
<huff!> some of us bother to look up our manual concordances <huff> ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain
Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Luddites.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
SOS 5:1
I have eaten my honeycomb with my homey.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Bacchus
Ship's Sommelier
# 11408
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Posted
Has this been done?
Fisherman's delight:
John 1:1
In the beginning was the Worm, and the Worm was with God, and the Worm was God.
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Cogito, ergo spud.
I think, therefore I yam.
Posts: 2066 | From: Central Indiana, USA | Registered: May 2006
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
Even men after God's own heart have bad hair days:
2 Sam 19.1
"The king was shaven, and went up to the room over the city gate to weep."
(eta: I can't be bothered even with online tools - I just grabbed a Bible & let it fall open!)
[ 17. September 2009, 00:50: Message edited by: churchgeek ]
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
OK, so this one makes two changes, but since it's a deuterocanonical text, I trust that's OK.
1 Maccabees 8.17-18:
"So Judas chose Eupolemus, son of John, son of Accos, and Jason, son of Eleazar, and sent them to Rome to establish an alliance of friendship with them. He did this to get rid of the yokel, for it was obvious that the kingdom of the Geeks was subjecting Israel to slavery."
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
I needed a chuckle, so I did another "open the Bible & point" and here it is:
Daniel 4.19 - Speaking twuth to power? Or just confusing a monarch?
"You are that twee, O king, large and strong!"
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I don't mean to say she's fat, but...
Jeremiah 48:32
Your pants have gone over the sea, they reach to the sea of Jazer.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
from Psalm 1
Their delight is in the flaw of the Lord
And they meditate on his flaw day and night.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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goperryrevs
Shipmtae
# 13504
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Posted
For those with impressive flatulence, 1 Corinthians 12:20.
"As it is, there are many farts, but one body."
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"Keep your eye on the donut, not on the hole." - David Lynch
Posts: 2098 | From: Midlands | Registered: Mar 2008
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andythehat
Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399
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Posted
Song of Solomon 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than mine.
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Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!
Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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andythehat
Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399
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Posted
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his wife for his friends.
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, dope and love
Jude 1:11
Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed for profit into Balaam's error; they have been destroyed in Koran's rebellion.
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif) I like this game!
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Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!
Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by andythehat:
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his wife for his friends.
Well done!
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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andythehat
Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399
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Posted
Aw shucks....
Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty tower.
[ 27. September 2009, 11:00: Message edited by: andythehat ]
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Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!
Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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andythehat
Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399
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Posted
And the Angel of Death pissed over the children of Israel...
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Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!
Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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andythehat
Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399
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Posted
And the angel of death pissed over the children of Israel.
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Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!
Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Job 38:6-7
On what were its bases sunk, or who lay its cornerstone,
when the moaning stars sang together...
There's always someone to complain.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
Song of Songs 8:6, for anyone who is feeling a little tired and needs a rest:
"Set me as a seat upon your heart, as a seat upon your arm"
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Bury 'em deep.
Rev 13:11
Then I saw another breast coming up out of the earth.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
One for the comedy club:
I was like a gentle lamb led to the laughter.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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goperryrevs
Shipmtae
# 13504
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Posted
Did you know Elijah dabbled in double-glazing?
"Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a window in Zarephath in the region of Sidon."
Luke 4:26
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"Keep your eye on the donut, not on the hole." - David Lynch
Posts: 2098 | From: Midlands | Registered: Mar 2008
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by andythehat:
And the Angel of Death pissed over the children of Israel...
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Those conflicts and disputes among you, where do they come from? Do they not come from your ravings that are at war within you?
(James 4:1)
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little duck, too!
Deut 32:25
The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the duckling also with the man of gray hairs.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Footballer's memorial:
Jeremiah 11:19
Let us cut him off from the land of the living so that his game will no longer be remembered.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
I saw all deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all is vanity and a chasing after wine.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
Also, from Ecclesiastics 2:
I searched with my mind how to cheer my body with swine.
And it seems Solomon had a dirty raincoat:
I got singers, both men and women, and delights of the flash, and many concubines.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
One for the financial crisis:
You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love, comely as Jerusalem, terrible as an army with bankers (Song of Songs 6.4)
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pooks
Shipmate
# 11425
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Posted
Highway to heaven?
Philippians 1:28
This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be paved—and that by God. ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
Posts: 1547 | Registered: May 2006
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Alternative punishment:
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without pin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7b)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 'Come go down to the rotter's house and there I will let you hear my words.'
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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