homepage
  roll on christmas  
click here to find out more about ship of fools click here to sign up for the ship of fools newsletter click here to support ship of fools
community the mystery worshipper gadgets for god caption competition foolishness features ship stuff
discussion boards live chat cafe avatars frequently-asked questions the ten commandments gallery private boards register for the boards
 
Ship of Fools


Post new thread  Post a reply
My profile login | | Directory | Search | FAQs | Board home
   - Printer-friendly view Next oldest thread   Next newest thread
» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Circus: H&A Day: Bribe the Hosts Here!

 - Email this page to a friend or enemy.    
Source: (consider it) Thread: Circus: H&A Day: Bribe the Hosts Here!
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Welcome, pilgrims, to the Temple of The Divine Aligator. In this sacred space, before the holy precincts of the Circus Maximus, the Powers that Be make their will known to Their people—but also take requests from supplicants (given suitable offerings). The Circus, remember, is governed by certain Rules; what is less known is that sometimes these rules can change. What was once a place of merriment can become an execution ground; where an ordered race was run, pure gladiatorial chaos may now reign.

All this, and more, is a possibility.

Pick your host.
Pick your bribe.
Hope.

The rules are made by those who know how to change them.


[ 17. July 2011, 03:40: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

 - Posted      Profile for Imaginary Friend   Email Imaginary Friend   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Bear in mind that it could benefit the potential briber to consider what you're hoping to get the bribee to do for you. Some 'perks' might be more 'expensive' than others...

--------------------
"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
A voice is heard from inside the temple, but not from any human source. All look to the Shrine of the Exalted Whatsit, and the image of the . . . well, nobody's quite sure what He is, but those sure are some nice fountain pens in His many hands!

"Henceforth, all Circus posts must be written in a narrative style, unless they are in conformity with the Edict of Creamtealand and its requirement for alligator pictures."

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

 - Posted      Profile for lilBuddha     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
1. Post in narrative style.
2. Suck up to "Host" when doing so.
3. Check for conformity to Cream tea standards.
4. Pics of Alligators

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
An ethereal fez forms over lilBuddha's head

"Your summary seems useful, worthy servant. What new rule/request would you like?"

[ 09. May 2011, 22:13: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

 - Posted      Profile for lilBuddha     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
None. I am unworthy to grovel at your feet, Lord Ariston, and am happy just to be of service to you! [Axe murder]

[codefix]

[ 09. May 2011, 22:43: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
"Why thank you," says the voice from the statue, "your newfound graciousness has been noted."

"Alright. We need to spread the fun. All of your precious threads are being held hostage; tell one of us why we shouldn't exile all of them to different boards, and we'll set one free. Otherwise?
Examples shall be made.
We are not above public executions."

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

 - Posted      Profile for lilBuddha     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I was incorrect; you do indeed exhibit hostly qualities. I marvel at how fast the corrup-er, hostly glow spreads. For the benefit of the others, I withdraw any comments which may have seemed negative.
Just do not, I beg you, remove the right to choose thread.

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

 - Posted      Profile for Imaginary Friend   Email Imaginary Friend   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
"Oh great master*" came a supplicant voice from stage-left, "I beg your indulgence to reopen two particular threads of my own choosing because I have my own plans and desires for their nefarious use.

"To compensate you for this apparent diminishing of your lordly powers, I am more than willing to pay in beer at a time and place of your choosing. Perhaps to celebrate the dismissal of serf Wenger? Of course, the decision is up to you."


* Well, you think you're the master, but truth be told, the PTB are just allowing you a little rope for the time being. The grasshopper will be returned to it's rightful place soon enough.

--------------------
"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
That request was already granted by the . . . Oh My. That's just horrifying.
Another demi-deity has already seen to that, supplicant/other d-d.

*And reminders of impending mortality aren't very nice.

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Imaginary Friend:
Perhaps to celebrate the dismissal of serf Wenger?

"And MAN U won something!"

The Hall of the Great Gator shakes as the Exalted Whatsit rages impotently, His holy fez trembling in its reliquary. Snickers can be heard from the Chapel of the Mental Companion as a diaphanous form emerges from the Creamtea Grotto to investigate.

[ 10. May 2011, 04:27: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:
a diaphanous form emerges from the Creamtea Grotto to investigate.

But it was only an old video of Kate Middleton sleepwalking in that dress. Everyone knows that true residents of Creamtealand only wear armour-plated wynciette.
And besides, not even the hound of hell itself could wake Chorister on her night off.

[ 10. May 2011, 14:06: Message edited by: Chorister ]

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Deckhand
Shipmate
# 15545

 - Posted      Profile for Deckhand   Author's homepage   Email Deckhand   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
@Chorister: You get nights off?

--------------------
Lay Anglicana discussion forum and blog

Posts: 1360 | From: Hampshire | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Sometimes I get a whole week off. But don't tell IF.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
*evil cackling from the Whatsit Chapel*

"Let's see you find your precious Quote File NOOOOWWWWWW!!!! None of you are good enough for it anymore! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I think it may be holding hands with 'Top Ten Tallies' - not that that will be missed much, given the number of posts on it recently.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I was wondering what else had been sent into the Land of Nod . . .

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Talking of which, Ariston-and-on-and-on-and-on is trying to make you all believe he's working really hard as a Circus host. But, boys and girls, can you see what he has done? Sent all the Circus threads off elsewhere, put up his feet, and fallen asleep.

I suppose he'll be expecting chocolate next... [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

 - Posted      Profile for LeRoc     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Maybe he could devise some new games for us?

--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

 - Posted      Profile for lilBuddha     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Talking of which, Ariston-and-on-and-on-and-on is trying to make you all believe he's working really hard as a Circus host.

For anyone who believes that I have some land to sell, just west of the Pillars of Hercules...

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Maybe he could devise some new games for us?

I believe that a "new game" was what this was! I made the whole Ship into a game, no?

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

 - Posted      Profile for Imaginary Friend   Email Imaginary Friend   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
You were certainly gaming something. (Or someone.) [Big Grin]

--------------------
"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

 - Posted      Profile for Ariston   Author's homepage   Email Ariston   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I almost didn't post this for fear you'd reply, but there is one reason I'll be glad to see this all end—no more clown picture.

Why couldn't they have given you something less disturbing—like, oh, Madeline Albright in a string bikini?

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

 - Posted      Profile for Imaginary Friend   Email Imaginary Friend   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Well... other people (notably PeteC) are petitioning me to keep it.

--------------------
"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

 - Posted      Profile for comet   Author's homepage   Email comet   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I enjoyed the clown. but I also like the imaginary number reference. I'm happy either way.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

 - Posted      Profile for lilBuddha     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
You are referring to IF's avatar comet?

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

 - Posted      Profile for Sir Kevin   Author's homepage   Email Sir Kevin   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I've no money to bribe with - I am the sole wage earner in our household. I can fix or supersede my own threads, thank you very much! [Biased]

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged


 
Post new thread  Post a reply Close thread   Feature thread   Move thread   Delete thread Next oldest thread   Next newest thread
 - Printer-friendly view
Go to:

Contact us | Ship of Fools | Privacy statement

© Ship of Fools 2016

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.5.0

 
follow ship of fools on twitter
buy your ship of fools postcards
sip of fools mugs from your favourite nautical website
 
 
  ship of fools