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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Circus: The Elegance of Language (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Circus: The Elegance of Language
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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We wish to affirm the sovereign rights of the lady - admittedly symbolic - whose standard graces our native British land.

No ball games in this area.

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504

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No amusements or leisure activities or contests of skill involving spherical objects are permitted within this geographical location

No litter

--------------------
"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)

Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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The deposition and dispersion of detritus are definitely discouraged.

No hawkers.

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Please gob elsewhere.

or, more seriously

While we are grateful for the personal attention that is involved in your bringing goods for purchase to my door, this is not an approach that will appeal to me. Therefore, kindly desist from attempting such sales at this doorway.

This Page Intentially Left Blank

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653

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This is to inform you that the lack of text on this page does not in any way infer that we are withholding information from you. We are simply of the opinion that the document looks better this way.

No graffiti!

Pax Romana

--------------------
********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber

Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
WhateverTheySay
Shipmate
# 16598

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The use of spray paint to daub writing over the wall in this location is strictly forbidden.

No alcohol sold to under-18's

--------------------
I'm not lost, I just don't know where I am going

Posts: 872 | From: Lost in Space, without a map | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
BessLane
Shipmate
# 15176

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Please be advised that persons under the legal age of majority in this municipality will be denied the opportunity to purchase fermented or distilled intoxicating beverages.

No shoes, no shirt, no service

--------------------
It's all on me and I won't tell it.
formerly BessHiggs

Posts: 1388 | From: Yorkville, TN | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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This establishment withholds its services from those whose nipples and/or pinky toes are visible to the casual observer within these premises.

Ring bell for service

[ 23. October 2011, 23:59: Message edited by: churchgeek ]

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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In order to partake of our excellent range of facilities, a modicum of light campanology is requested.

These doors are alarmed

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653

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Please be forewarned that, should you decide to try to enter or exit through these doors, you will activate an eardrum-splitting noise which will arouse and annoy every living thing within a very large radius.

Or, alternatively: These entrance and exit devices are of a nervous and hysterical temperament and have been recently frightened. (Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

You eat every bit of food on your plate!

Pax Romana

--------------------
********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber

Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
WhateverTheySay
Shipmate
# 16598

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The meal presented before you must be consumed in all its entirety, with not a crumb left behind.

Please shower before entering the pool

--------------------
I'm not lost, I just don't know where I am going

Posts: 872 | From: Lost in Space, without a map | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Despite the phrase "going bathing at the pool", the pool, in fact, is not a bath, and in the interest of fairness and not impugning any individual's hygiene, this establishment requires all swimmers to use its showers before swimming here.

All fines doubled in roadwork zone

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
BessLane
Shipmate
# 15176

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Please be advised that all monetary fines will increase twofold should one fail to obey posted ordinaces in an area where workers are, may be, or will be present.

Falling Rock Zone

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It's all on me and I won't tell it.
formerly BessHiggs

Posts: 1388 | From: Yorkville, TN | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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[tangent]
quote:
Originally posted by Pax Romana:
... Or, alternatively: These entrance and exit devices are of a nervous and hysterical temperament and have been recently frightened. (Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

I'm so glad someone else thinks as I do. [Smile]

[/tangent]

Back to the game, Bess Higgs wrote: Falling Rock Zone

Please exercise extreme caution in this region, as the effect of gravity upon unattached parts of the landscape may prove perilous.

Caution: heavy plant crossing

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
WhateverTheySay
Shipmate
# 16598

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This junction is used by vehicles of large mass, accessing the work area adjacent. Please proceed with caution.

No children on the building site

--------------------
I'm not lost, I just don't know where I am going

Posts: 872 | From: Lost in Space, without a map | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Juvenile persons not allowed in construction areas.

Remain seated until the plane reaches the gate

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Despite the fact that we have landed, and we realise that you have a strong desire to disembark, this is not advised. Rather, if you would remain in a seated position for a short tims further, until the aeroplane has completed its journey right the way up to the disembarkation point, it would be greatly appreciated.

Unless you are a haemorroid, get off my ass

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504

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if you are not actually an irritating medical condition generally found in the anal area, please remove yourself from my posterior

corrosive

--------------------
"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)

Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
corrosive

The substance herein will digest objects and body parts immersed within.

Talk softly and carry a big stick

--------------------
Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Jurisdictions within the general vicinity of the United States should govern themselves with the expectation that genteel diplomacy will invariably be accompanied by ominous displays of military might.

An eye for an eye

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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Retribution will be in kind.

Sidewalk closed
Cross here


[ 26. October 2011, 22:06: Message edited by: churchgeek ]

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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The pavement ceases.
Wind blows leaves across the road.
Cross over with them.

Do not ask for credit as refusal often offends

--------------------
we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Kindly pay cash upon receipt of services.

No loitering

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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quote:

No loitering

Please ensure that the duration of your stay in this establishment does not grossly exceed the amount of time required to purchase and/or consume the product(s) you have selected.

Bomb 'em back to the Stone Age!

(some uncorrected code was loitering, so I bombed it back to the Stone Age)

[ 27. October 2011, 19:41: Message edited by: Chorister ]

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Might I suggest that you jettison your airborne explosive devices over the target in a way which causes such damage to the ambient infrastructure that life in the affected area will perforce have to continue at the most basic level of human existence.

Parent and baby parking only.

Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
WhateverTheySay
Shipmate
# 16598

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This area of the car park is for use only by those who have with them a small child.

Knock before entering

--------------------
I'm not lost, I just don't know where I am going

Posts: 872 | From: Lost in Space, without a map | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Please ensure that you knuckles make contact with the wood in the hole before turning the entrance handle.

Don't be a jerk!

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653

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Please conduct yourself in a manner befitting a thoughtful, well-bred person and endeavor not to give offense to those who have occasion to partake of your companionship.

Keep your hands to yourself!

Pax Romana

--------------------
********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber

Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
WhateverTheySay
Shipmate
# 16598

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The extremities of your arms must remain outside of your neighbour's personal space and very much within only your own personal space.

Do not cross the railway

--------------------
I'm not lost, I just don't know where I am going

Posts: 872 | From: Lost in Space, without a map | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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This area is for trains: reserve it for them.

Mind the gap!

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653

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When disembarking from your train, do not insert the forepart of your foot into the space between the train and the platform. You might receive an unnecessary, and undesired, foot amputation.

Take this only as directed by your doctor

Pax Romana

--------------------
********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber

Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Ensure that the instructions of your physician are followed precisely in the ingestion of this medication.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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We wish you a most hearty and enjoyable celebration of the Feast of the Incarnation of our Most Blessed Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and that the coming solar circuit be filled with great prosperity and joy.

Close cover before striking

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653

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Do not attempt to light this match without first inserting the end of the cardboard cover into the slot, thereby covering the remaining matches and avoiding the possibility of a spontaneous combustion.

Coffee in ten minutes, Elizabeth! (Mrs. Bucket, of course)

Pax Romana

--------------------
********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber

Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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In a sixth of an hour, my neighbour, you shall be given a beaker with a warm brown liquid in it.

That's not the way I heard it!

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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My aural faculties are functioning differently from yours.

Close the door on your way out.

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
WhateverTheySay
Shipmate
# 16598

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Upon exiting the building, please ensure that you close the door.

Everything in the shop £1

--------------------
I'm not lost, I just don't know where I am going

Posts: 872 | From: Lost in Space, without a map | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Any item in this vending establishment will cost more than 99 pence, and less than one pound and one pence.

Banned in Boston

[ 20. November 2011, 10:43: Message edited by: Stetson ]

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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(Oh, and I hope I got the monetary terminoligy right for my "one pound" line. Apologies if otherwise.)

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pre-cambrian
Shipmate
# 2055

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Henceforward it will no longer be permitted to bring any product listed in the Schedule to this Order into a depressed port in south-eastern Lincolnshire, or to use it therein.

political correctness gone mad

--------------------
"We cannot leave the appointment of Bishops to the Holy Ghost, because no one is confident that the Holy Ghost would understand what makes a good Church of England bishop."

Posts: 2314 | From: Croydon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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Attempts to expurgate from language and culture all content that might provoke uneasiness in the sensibliities of marginalized-status groups and/or contribute to the further marginalization of said groups have now reached a point that may be compared without exaggeration to a condition comparable to those listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition(DSM-IV).

Come here and say that!!!

--------------------
I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Visit me and converse!

Come up with a new paradigm.

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by no_prophet:
quote:
Hard hat area
Cranial armour in the form of an approved chapeau is considered essential in the present environs.
[Killing me] Genius.

--------------------
این نیز بگذرد

Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Could we please carry on with the current page instead of being bloody rude and irrelevant?

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
Could we please carry on with the current page instead of being bloody rude and irrelevant?

Hosting!
Sir Kevin, no matter what you nominate yourself for, you are not, in fact, a host. Please leave that to the people whose names are listed at the top of the board.
AA, Circus Host

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
Visit me and converse!

Come up with a new paradigm.

Please take time to do a study and some research, after which you will present us with an example of a model we have never seen before.

Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

Pax Romana

--------------------
********************
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber

Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
Could we please carry on with the current page instead of being bloody rude and irrelevant?

I guess you think I was being sarcastic, but that is not so. No_prophet's post really did make me laugh a lot, and I find it extremely clever. I was late finding this thread and it had moved on since his post, but I really wanted to show my appreciation for it (even though that, in and of itself, was not relevant to the playing of the game). Sorry for any upset.

--------------------
این نیز بگذرد

Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged
Pre-cambrian
Shipmate
# 2055

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In response to Pax humana:

A precipitate accession to conjugal felicity may, in the fullness of time, give way to a belated recognition that the expectation of felicity was in fact infelicitous.

The Vicar of Christ

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"We cannot leave the appointment of Bishops to the Holy Ghost, because no one is confident that the Holy Ghost would understand what makes a good Church of England bishop."

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Wm Dewy
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# 16712

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The Vicar of Christ

The representative for the anointed One.

- We occasionally confuse obfuscation for elegance.

[ 27. November 2011, 10:40: Message edited by: Wm Dewy ]

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"And harmoniums and barrel - organs be miserable--what shall I call 'em ? - miserable machines for such a divine thing as music!"

Posts: 216 | From: Indiana USA | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged
Wm Dewy
Shipmate
# 16712

 - Posted      Profile for Wm Dewy   Email Wm Dewy   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
The Vicar of Christ

The representative for the anointed One.

First things first

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"And harmoniums and barrel - organs be miserable--what shall I call 'em ? - miserable machines for such a divine thing as music!"

Posts: 216 | From: Indiana USA | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged



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