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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Taking offence where none was intended...
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
Despite my sharing your bemusement I take offence at your responding to a leapfrog. It only encourages them.
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Even an old bean can sprout, lilB, so much in my case I have to watch my back in Chinese restaurants.
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
[gamus interruptus]
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
{Ok, quit trying to throw me off my game, lilb, won't work...]
Ooops, bottom of thread vertigo. Y'all planned that, didn't you? ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
[ 23. August 2012, 19:43: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I am offended that none of the last 6 posts express any offendedness. I am doubly offended that there appears to a love-in going on between at least 2 of you complete with titillation and marthambles. And endearments! I am offended by the endearments most of all!
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Well, I never! no prophet, the secondary sexual characteristics of your shipmates are not fodder for this thread, you pervert! And I am not aware who Miss Mbles is, but she is not a participant on this thread. And I am sure she would be as offended as I.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Well, I never!
Clearly.
(Someone had to say it.)
quote:
no prophet, the secondary sexual characteristics of your shipmates are not fodder for this thread, you pervert!
OK:
1. Speak for yourself.
2. You do realize that by phrasing that the way you did, you are pretty much opening the door for people to start discussing primary sexual characteristics? And who can we thank as the thread plunges down Smut Falls?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Marthambles is the state of being over heated. I am offended that our little buddy lilBuddha is over heated and now needs an ice bath. Further I am offended that some of you are falling for smut. Obviously you are friends of that Not-So-Hairy-Naked-Prince who offended nearly everyone except those of you who are not offended.
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Dear Lord, must we bring that up everywhere?
Can't we talk about cantaloupes, or Swingline staplers, or anything else?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
no prophet referring to cantaloupes is what started all this. Never heard a stapler as a euphemism. How does that work?
grabs stapler, scratches head. hmm. pushes down, top springs back up. well , maybe. pushes down a little harder, sproing! stapler explodes, sending staples flying over everything, wasted before they can be put to use.
Oh, right, now I get it. Kelly! Shame on you, dirty minded girl.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
How irresponsible.
Now I have a staple impaled in my foot.
Waddling with a limp.
And it's all your fault.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
1. The haiku thread is elsewhere.
2. That. scans. horribly.
(Staggers off to nurse bleeding eyes.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I am desolate that you should lambast poor Smudgie so...
...I wanted to do it!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Kelly, 'bleeding' comes from 'bloody' which comes from 'by Our Lady' and when all's said and done, this is a Christian website. 'Sodding eyes' or 'fucking eyes' would be preferable, notwithstanding that either would require one of them to hop over your nose. How big is your nose? Come to think of it, you'd have to lie on your back for this to work. And come to think of it again, eyes aren't a sexual characteristic, secondary or otherwise, so maybe they wouldn't be up for it. I'll mull it over.
[ETA] All will never be said and done. Now I get it!
[ 24. August 2012, 07:08: Message edited by: Bean Sidhe ]
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
I am SO offended that you began a diatribe about sexual innuendo without including me. And ITTWACW!
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
In their defence, BL, I think they did it with good intentions, mistakenly taking you as being innocent of any such thing - I think it is pretty darned offensive of you to point out their lack of vision in this way.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Lack of vision? Some of the things this thread has caused me to envision make me want to rip out my visual cortex. I nearly want to convert, just so I can pray for the visions to stop!
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Wait, the Buddha converting? As the head of a major religion, I'd think you'd have more conviction in your teachings—and the confusion it'd cause your followers. After all, we don't want a repeat of this incident, do we?
Compassion on your fellow beings indeed.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Now if that isn't faithist, I don't know what is. You think that all Buddhists ought to be convicted? What of, precisely? As far as I know there isn't a law against shaving your head (even down as far as the skull) or sitting with your legs crossed or even wearing saffron - though I did think the other day that there should be a law against one particular group of about a hundred Buddhist monks being in front of me in the queue for the icecream stall on a very hot day. BUt in general I find Buddhists to be a very law abiding faith group. Free the Buddhists, I say - they are innocent.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
While I would agree that selling Buddhists into slavery is wrong, I do not see that giving them away free is any better.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
Who's getting all this free stuff? No-one's offered me a free Buddhist.
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Buddhism is intrinsically free, haven't you got that yet?
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
See, but it was a "free Buddhists to good homes" deal. Emphasis on the "good homes" bit. Whereas some of us are willing to take our Bihkku on walks, feed it, brush it, and give it the occasional koan, other people just can't be trusted with that responsibility. I mean, there's a lot of work involved, and not just for Pure Land or Rinzai practitioners; even your run-of-the-mill Buddhist from the local ashram will need more attention than some people (like you) can handle. I'm sorry, but it hurts and offends me to see poor, neglected stray monks off on the side of the road, abandoned by their former masters.
Remember, a Buddhist isn't just for Vesak. It's for life.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
At first, I was offended by you lot. However after some reflection, something we do well, I determined I was a hypocrite for feeling so. And now, I must give you thanks. For today, I free my pet Christians. It is bittersweet, as I was given some of them as a young child. It was a learning experience at first, I must admit. Keeping the different breeds in different pens, cannot mix the fundamentalist with the RCCs, the fundamentals will turn rabid. Different feeds for each, unleavened wafers and wine for the RCCs, the High church CofEs demanding battenberg... I will have to confess I lost a few at first. That was embarrassing. Turns out they do not flush like goldfish. Father was quite peeved at needing to call the plumber. I did have such fun playing with them, though. Learned bunches about debate. Also about pointless diatribe.
Well it is over now, I realize keeping such pets is not the best thing. Though they do not seem capable of functioning on their own, I do worry they might injure themselves or each other. I shall release them seperately, in different areas.
Do any of you know of wildlife rehabilitation facilities which might be able to help them prepare for independence?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
OK, Public Service announcement: I do not respond to blatant attempts to craft Quotes File entries.
...
...
Dammit. (excuse me for a minute.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
I am offended and saddened. I came to share and offer thanks, and am accused of playing for laughs. What does it say of you, that you would think such? I'd thought better of you.
Well, alright, I hadn't thought better of you, but I had hoped better.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
You hoped better of our dear, beloved Kelly? She isn't good enough for you just as she is? We love her, warts (yes every single one of them) and all. Her faults, foibles, weaknesses and failings make her the Kelly we all know and we wouldn't have her any other way (except, perhaps, in a good stew if we were really hungry). Stop measuring her against perfection and start accepting her just the way God made her. Not everyone can be a penguin.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Smudgiekins, I am aghast at your implication that anyone might wish to be a penguin - it is something that has ever occurred to me, nor, I am fairly sure, to the vast majority of Shipmates.
I reckon you're on your own there, sweet chips.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
You do not like sweet/salty combinations? You culinary heathen.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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justlooking
Shipmate
# 12079
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
culinary heathen.
Culinary snob. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Posts: 2319 | From: thither and yon | Registered: Nov 2006
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Culinary redneck! What's snobbish about contrast? I love chilli jam, and grind pepper onto fruit - wondrous on strawberries. I drew the line, though, at Earl Grey chocolate. Had to try it, but... ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Would you kindly aim that into a bucket or a commode or something, instead of straight on my ears?
[gameface off] Smudge, oddly enough you post was just what I needed to hear today. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) [gameface ON, and BRING IT!]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Now I'm doubly offended.
First off, my bucket of fish now has copious quantities of beany-vomit in it. You've put me right off my supper.
And as if that wasn't enough, my finely crafted post was taken as "just what you needed to hear"
which is so not in the spirit of the game.
So if I'm doubly offended, do I get double the points?
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Smudgie, how can you chastise poor Kelly like that? We all know she's emotionally constipated. Just for once she opens her heart to you, and you make a specious point that it's not in the 'spirit of the game' - had she not said, clearly, 'gameface off'? Avians are supposed to be warm-blooded, I suggest you get medical help before yours freezes in your veins.
As for my vomit, most people have found it untypically wholesome - I am, after all, a bottle-a-day Toilet Duck addict. It can't have been worse than your fish if they'd spent hours in a bucket. I know you're far from the frozen south, but surely you could have got yourself a fridge by now? Dead or alive, they must have been crawling.
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433
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Posted
Beanie beanie beanie, your scattergun attitude to the relationships of pronouns is giving me a hernia. Is it the penguins, the vomit, or the little fishies that are crawling? Whatever. Your knee fetishes fail to titilate and that failure in itself is an offence/offence to an old man who likes his titilations ... talk about thwarted expectation.
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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/
Posts: 18917 | From: "Central" is all they call it | Registered: Sep 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I am shocked that you refer to yourself as old - if you are old then what am I?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Being a feckless layabout, Wodders, I'm sure you're wearing well. Just stay out of the sun and purge regularly.
Zappa, please concentrate. My use of 'they' eliminates two of the three possible objects you mention, making elaboration redundant. There is, after all, only one penguin on this thread, probably on the entire ship, though she does make enough noise for a whole raft of them. And when did I mention knees? Either my memory's failing or you're having one of your phases again. Hold fast, it'll soon pass.
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Dear Bean, how shocking that you should feel the need to remind Zappa about his medication quite so publicly - wouldn't a PM have done?
Mind you he has owed me one for days and I'm still waiting...
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
How important does Zappa think he is, that a head of government must act as his personal assistant? Good Gods, man, the daft codger already thinks he is two different musicians, don't inflate his ego further.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
You know what, lB? Jesus thinks you're a jerk.* One doesn't mock St. Zappa—nor those under his patronage—lightly.
And, before anyone gets any ideas, my mockery is always extremely serious and most deserved.
*NSFW . . . or, well, anywhere anyone who can be offended at all can hear.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I say this as a friend, Ariston, that's exactly the way RooK began talking before uncontrollable megalomania took over. Demigodhood might look pretty from a distance, but how do you know who your real friends are when you are surrounded by minions?
[@Zappa. You Dare?? YOU DARE????]
[ 26. August 2012, 21:39: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
As a minion myself, I take umbrage at the suggestion that Ariston should cast me off like a worn jacket. It's all very well talking about friends in such a cavalier manner - you do so so thoughtlessly that I can only assume you must have one already. But think of poor people like the masterful Ariston who has not the slightest chance of fulfilling that ambition. And while I gain a good income of the occasional kipper as a reward for my honest minionhood, I'll thank you not to be quite so disparaging of the services I provide.
Meanwhile, you could redeem yourself by noting the numerous causes for offense in Zappa's post.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Smudgie! Ariston does so have friends, some of them aren't even imaginary.* And the rumours that he needs bribe even his imaginary companions are completely unfounded, even if highly probable.
*or so I've heard. I'll choose to believe this unlikely thing until I see evidence to the contrary.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433
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Posted
And what is wrong pray tell about having an Imaginary Friend? I have staked my life on my Imaginary Friend™. I know Him as My Personal Lord and Saviour™. He pays my bills. Washes me in His Blood™ and (somehow) thereby makes me whiter than snow. He Heals my ingrown toenails and makes sure nasty libruls and atheistic persons Go South™. I am so offended I may even cry. Or pout.
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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/
Posts: 18917 | From: "Central" is all they call it | Registered: Sep 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
To both of you: not only do I not need to bribe my co-host, but, last time I checked, he's not Jesus. The implication that we should be patterning our lives after him—and that, contrary to a certain Eccles thread, buying our Sunday Best from chelseamegastore.com—is, quite frankly, both offensive and more than a little disturbing.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
I don't know what they do in your church, but in my church the choristers wear robes. They do not wear Chelsea tops. There are many choristers who know how to wear proper ceremonial vestments throughout the country and you should not be including them in your rash generalisations.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Not one myself but I'm related to several Chelsea supporters, and find your suggestion that wearing their strip will bring one out in a rash... not highly offensive, but sufficiently so for me to draw it to your attention. I'm sure the Chelsea shirt is made from the finest, non-allergenic fabric. If you developed a rash after wearing one, you really should consider alternative causes. Did you have unprotected sex during the preceding weeks? Perhaps you should visit an STI clinic without delay.
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
Did your mother not teach you that it is at least very impolite and at most highly offensive to ask questions about someone's sex life?
And to compound the offence, you are asking impertinent questions about STIs. Please cease casting nasturtiums immediately.
[ 28. August 2012, 16:17: Message edited by: kingsfold ]
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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Nasturtiums, of course! Highly allergenic. Dafyd, do you grow nasturtiums?
Thank you, Kingsfold. I buy your sliced bread every day.
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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