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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Sine Nomine Training Grounds
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
As per the current discussions,I would like to start a game in which we practice responding gracefully to insults. In other words: "I refuse to be offended."
(Since it is so close to an Offense thread, I wanted to check first.)
SO the rules are kind of like "Helping hand" or some such-- you give a set up, the next person responds, and provides their own setup.
If you want, use a specific insult you never had an answer for, but do NOT import board conflicts, past or present. (and don't get too heavy-- it's the Circus, not Oprah.)
Your response to the previous insult must be gracious and friendly-- almost as if you are taking it as a compliment. PM Sine or Grits for tips.
[any other rules?]
Example Set up: (from my stepfather) You hair was your one great beauty,and you cut it all off. Now you look ordinary. It's a shame, I tell you!
Example Response: Thanks, it's working! my spiritual adviser told me to avoid the sin of pride, and to stop basking in the endless compliments I get.The haircut takes enough of the edge off my dazzling beauty that it just might be possible now.
...and so forth.
Okay to kick things off...
Nobody wants to tell you this, but you have the most annoying, obnoxious laugh anyone has ever heard. Did you ever wonder why flocks of Canada geese suddenly appear overhead when you are laughing?
<small>[ 11. February 2013, 06:25: Message buggered about with by: Ariston ]</small>
[ 13. May 2013, 10:59: Message edited by: Imaginary Friend ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Ah, but...
{Smiles, and flies away with geese.}
Your IQ is smaller than your shoe size.
(Popular when I was a kid.)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Oh good; I was trying to find a way of advertising my presence so people would hear me coming. It's tactful, and makes life so much easier when they have time to change the subject naturally before I enter the room. Thanks - you've made my day.
From an aunt to my (allegedly) adult self: " you used to be such a nice child...."
Sorry, X-posted. Take your pick.
[ 10. November 2012, 06:05: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Nobody wants to tell you this, but you have the most annoying, obnoxious laugh anyone has ever heard. Did you ever wonder why flocks of Canada geese suddenly appear overhead when you are laughing?
You know you are not the first to notice the quality of my laugh. A man who books studio audiences for sitcoms asked for my e-mail addy. Although it isn't usual to have laugh tracks anymore, evidently they sometimes "fill out" a studio laugh with a distinctive laugh that startles everyone else into laughing louder. A laugh like mine. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
(At the beach) You know I've lost quite a bit of weight. And I know that you could, too. You could do better than to look like a beached whale in a swimsuit.
ETA: And yet another X-post. Sigh.
[ 10. November 2012, 06:16: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
On second thoughts, I'll continue, just to simplify matters.
your IQ is maller than your shoe size
Bless you, you're obviously having a bad day and need to vent personally instead of just disagreeing courteously. I don't mind absorbing your ill humour for once; maybe it will save some other, more vulnerable person, fom your attack.
From an aunt to my (allegedly) adult self: " you used to be such a nice child...."
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
(Jeez! Crosspost madness!)
(At the beach) You know I've lost quite a bit of weight. And I know that you could, too. You could do better than to look like a beached whale in a swimsuit.
I am so glad I am your friend. I get to stand by you and make you look better. I live for it.
Your IQ is smaller than your shoe size.
Yeah, I know, In Outer Bumfukia, my shoe size is about 250. So, close, but a little smaller, yeah.
You were so nice when you were a kid.
I was practicing to be an outstanding adult. Thank you for noticing.
For God's sake, pipe down when I'm trying to talk! Johnny McLastword!
[ 10. November 2012, 06:24: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Your concern for my health is so touching. Just fancy, being unable to string a sentence together while I'm smoking. Tell you what, I will quit, just for you.
Just look what the cat dragged in
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
And cats are known for their impeccable taste.
You fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
The tree looks much prettier now, without all those ugly branches. Pleased to be of service.
Bit of a rush this morning, was it? Did you forget to brush your hair?
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif) He just wouldn't let me get out of bed. You know how it is.
Do you really have to keep cracking your gum like you are the percussion section of an a cappella group?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Finally, I've mastered it! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've been trying to get the precise sound of the percussion section. Do you think you could do tuba?
It's so good of you to patronise Oxfam so regularly and help clear out their rejects box
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
It's incredible what you can find if you look carefully,isn't it? So many people can't be bothered, and miss out on an individual look.
Your next dental appointment is coming up, isn't it?
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
I'm so lucky to have you as my unpaid PA - I'd have missed the appointment otherwise and I do like to keep my teeth clean and healthy.
You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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claret10
Ship's Paranoid Android
# 16341
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Posted
Oh thank you so much for reminding me, I would have looked pretty silly going out without my head.
You are a the most boring person i've ever met.
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Just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does
Posts: 137 | From: Somewhere, nowhere, anywhere | Registered: Apr 2011
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
Thank you for helping me realise my teaching materials weren't going to work for that lesson. I always find it so helpful to try them out on you first.
That's so lame
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Gold lame always becomes me.
You have a mouth so tightly pursed it looks like a cat's bum
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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claret10
Ship's Paranoid Android
# 16341
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Posted
Wow that's amazing, i'm so impressed that you spotted the look i was going for.
Your so stupid! If your brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off
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Just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does
Posts: 137 | From: Somewhere, nowhere, anywhere | Registered: Apr 2011
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claret10
Ship's Paranoid Android
# 16341
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by claret10:
Wow that's amazing, i'm so impressed that you spotted the look i was going for.
You're so stupid! If your brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off
ETA (correct my grammer, ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif) )
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Just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does
Posts: 137 | From: Somewhere, nowhere, anywhere | Registered: Apr 2011
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Then why is your hat sitting so perfectly on your head, while mine is over there on that seat?
You're blinkin' hopeless!
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
It's these new glasses. I can now keep my eyes open for more than three seconds.
You're as thick as two short planks.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Oh! We have two more joining us on our picnic! This is going to be even more fun! Do you know if they want pbj or egg salad?
They say that pretty babies grow up to be ugly adults and ugly babies turn into beautiful adults. You were such a pretty baby. (Actually used on me by my grandmother!)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
It's so good to know that I've inherited the family traits.
(Actually said to someone who wasn't pregnant) Wow you're looking well, when's the baby due?
[ 10. November 2012, 14:15: Message edited by: Raptor Eye ]
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Well, thank you! The baby? Nanny brings him in about 5.
You look like something the cat dragged in.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Last week my cat dragged in the cutest little grey squirrel. Yeah I can see the connection, thanks.
How did you ever manage to graduate high school?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Isn't it amazing? All I had to do was flutter my eyelashes at the examiners. I do find it helps to be pretty.
you know, leggings only really suit slim people
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Thank you so much, do you like my red ones or my black ones best?
You can't sing a note - please be sure to mime through the next song
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
Oh, thank you so much, I was about to ask you if my bum looked big in these and you've saved me the embarrassment of asking.
You'd look so much younger if you'd dye your hair
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Thanks you for noticing my heavy cold. So kind of you to let me stay and be part of the concert instead of sending me home. You are such a darling, and so sensitive to others.
When are you going to do what your being paid for?
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
When he throws in a diamond choker. (Wink wink)
(From Steely Dan) Bodacious cowboys such as your friend will never be welcome here.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Good. Now I can have him all to myself. You won't mind if we leave early? (nudge).
Did you knit that? I can tell it's home made from across the room.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Yes, I took the time to knit that, I have very high standards for my appearance, and find that store-quality workmanship just will not do.
Actual comment from my youngest son, then aged 12
When people get older, they are supposed to get wiser; how come you are older than any of my friends' fathers but still, you are an idiot?
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Because consistency is such an underrated quality in our society, and I want to set an example. One day you'll thank me.
(said to me by a four-year old) You're bad, You're a bad, bad teacher, You're the baddest, baddest teacher in the whole bad school.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
Oh, thanks kid. I'm writing a beat poem about how tough it can be working in school and I think you might just have given me the perfect ending to it!
Is that what the kids are wearing these days?
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
Wonderful isn't it? So colourful and free, and showing their personalities.
You're going grey. You'd look so much younger if you dyed your hair
Teenage comment to me, regularly
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
(Imaginary Friend-- what I actually said was, "At least I'm superlative.")
That's exactly my problem, if I dye my hair to match my age, people will not recognize the deep ancient wisdom my grey hair signals.
Why are you looking at that dress in the window? It will never fit you.
[ 10. November 2012, 21:00: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Thank you for your concern, but I am afraid that I would get very strange looks cashing my pension cheques; besides, my eyes are grey, and I have always been told they are my most attractive feature.
With an enormous ass like that, have you ever considered attaching backup lights for safety?
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Aw, you been lookin'. You go for that badunkadunk don't you, honey?
Why are you looking at that dress in the window? It will never fit you.
[ 10. November 2012, 21:03: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Of course the window will never fit me; I am much smaller than it.
Is that your nose, or are you eating a banana?
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I'm actually eating a banana with my nose. It's a complicated trick. Hope I'm not showing off.
I see you have a Kandinsky book on your coffee table. What kind of deluded schill likes Kandinsky?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
I've been meaning to ask you that since you lent it to me.
Do you think will your clothes ever come back in fashion?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Excellent! I could do with a little extra income
If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous!
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
But I'd hate to be dangerous, so it's probably a good thing, isn't it?
What on earth were you thinking when you got involved with him?
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I was thinking,"This is one none of my friends will try to swipe."
You know, if you wear your skirt that short, you'll get a name.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
I already have one, actually, it's "Ariston." Don't you think it's rather fetching?
You're just like my ex
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Yeah, I know! She and I have said the same thing! Only she constantly creams me on "Words with Friends."
You know,you should hear what they say when you walk out of the room.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
Ooh, I'm obviously just your type. Sounds as if we could make a go of it.
You sound just like my mother. I do not mean that in a good way
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
As long as I don't sound like my own mother, I'm good.
You know,you should hear what they say when you walk out of the room.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Adam.
Like as the
# 4991
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Posted
Oh, I'd rather not: it would go to my head!
You don't think those clothes are a little young for you, do you?
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Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog
Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003
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