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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Hell: NUKE THE UNBORN GAY WHALES FOR JESUS (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: NUKE THE UNBORN GAY WHALES FOR JESUS
Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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I always liked "Jesus is coming. Everyone look busy."
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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quote:
Originally posted by Laura:
auntbeast,

Thanks, I may follow your example. I saw a version of the other you mentioned. It said:

Jesus loves you! Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

Not a bumper sticker but the 80's heavy metal band The Almighty (who were crap, btw) had a t-shirt that said "Jesus Loves You......... But I don't"

I thought that was quite funny. Their songs were funny to, but unintentionally.

Ben26

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Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
My "LibraryThing" page

Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Rain Dog
Shipmate
# 4085

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quote:
Originally posted by Ben26:
Not a bumper sticker but the 80's heavy metal band The Almighty (who were crap, btw) had a t-shirt that said "Jesus Loves You......... But I don't"

I thought that was quite funny. Their songs were funny to, but unintentionally.

Eh? Dissing the Almighty now? [Frown] - They weren't _that_ bad - Any band who penned a track as riddled with adrenaline and anger as Jonestown Mind can't be crap...
Posts: 620 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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Adrenaline + Anger = Good?

So, you like every, single thrash/death metal band in the whole world ever? [Roll Eyes] [Razz]

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

--------------------
Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
My "LibraryThing" page

Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Well I usually trot this out when people start talking about bumper stickers, so here we go.

About 15 years ago, the Wisconsin state tourism board developed the slogan "Escape to Wisconsin!" The idea being that Wisconsin is very close to Chicago, and people in Chicago and environs were encouraged to take vacations in beautiful neighboring Wisconsin.

Okay, there's the background. Now on a car's behind I saw two different bumper stickers:

On the left: Jesus is Coming!

On the right: Escape to Wisconsin!

Reader Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rain Dog
Shipmate
# 4085

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quote:
Originally posted by Ben26:
Adrenaline + Anger = Good?

So, you like every, single thrash/death metal band in the whole world ever? [Roll Eyes] [Razz]

Nah - but the Almighty's lyrics were a notch above most of that era's stuff and leagues ahead of those teenagers filling the charts nowadays - how many of them have even heard of Jim Jones?
Posts: 620 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Joyeux

Ship's Lady of Laughter
# 3851

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quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
On the left: Jesus is Coming!

On the right: Escape to Wisconsin!

Reader Alexis

[Killing me]

(psst - Mousethief - where do people in Wisconsin go to escape?)

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Float?...Do science too

Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
MrSponge2U

Ship’s scrub
# 3076

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I remember some "classics" I used to see quite a bit:

"God is my Co-pilot"
"In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned"
"Christians Aren't Perfect Just Forgiven"
"Hugs Are Better Than Drugs"
"I Found It"

I have a friend who has a sticker of a Ichtus fish swallowing a Darwin fish, and the caption reads "Survival of the Forgiven"

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sig? what sig?

Posts: 3558 | From: where two big rivers meet | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Joyeux:
(psst - Mousethief - where do people in Wisconsin go to escape?)

Chicago. Once it empties out of everybody escaping to Wisconsin, it's not such a bad place.

Reader Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kyzyl

Ship's dog
# 374

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quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by Kyzyl:
I have one that says "My Golden Retriever is smarter than your honor student" [for the non-USA readers: this is a play on the My child is an honor student at XYZ school stickers]

Actually, us non-USA readers get the Golden Retriever joke.

What we don't see is why anyone would be such a prat as to put a sticker saying "My child is an honor student at XYZ school". WTF cares? And what child could ride in such a car without dying of embarrasement, or at the very least total fear that some opther student at XYZ would see them. You'd have to crouch on the floor hiding out of view.

Ken! My point exactly!

I teach a course in the cognitive/social/emotional development of adolescents. You should hear the discussion when I mention "that" bumper sticker. It is one of the more enjoyable classes each semester [Snigger]

Are the "my child" stickers a US phenomenon or does the rest of the world also suffer?

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I need a quote.

Posts: 668 | From: Wapasha's Prairie | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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quote:
Originally posted by Kyzyl:
Are the "my child" stickers a US phenomenon or does the rest of the world also suffer?

I've bever seen one. Nor heard of them until this thread.

--------------------
Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Og: Thread Killer
Ship's token CN Mennonite
# 3200

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quote:
Originally posted by Kyzyl:

Are the "my child" stickers a US phenomenon or does the rest of the world also suffer?

Does "My dog is a Rottweiler" count?

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I wish I was seeking justice loving mercy and walking humbly but... "Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st."

Posts: 5025 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kyzyl

Ship's dog
# 374

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quote:
Does "My dog is a Rottweiler" count?
Does to me.

[That was close. You avoided being mocked by a mere two-posts-from-shipmate-status.]

[ 13. May 2003, 19:55: Message edited by: RooK ]

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I need a quote.

Posts: 668 | From: Wapasha's Prairie | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kyzyl

Ship's dog
# 374

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Ack! Damn new computer keyboard. Sorry.

Rotties deserve a bumper sticker, honor students do not. [Big Grin]

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I need a quote.

Posts: 668 | From: Wapasha's Prairie | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
TonyK

Host Emeritus
# 35

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quote:
Originally posted by Kyzyl:
... Are the "my child" stickers a US phenomenon or does the rest of the world also suffer?

Not seen anything similar in the UK - where bumper stickers are not quite so common anyway.

But I have seen one that I am waiting to use:

'Retired - and living it up on our children's inheritance!'

--------------------
Yours aye ... TonyK

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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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Slow handclap to Kyzyl, gradually quickening into applause.

And crongratulations to Kyzyl, our longest running apprentice, who has just made it to shipmate status!

Viki, hellhost

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”

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La Sal
Shipmate
# 4195

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My favorite: Your karma ran over my dogma!
Posts: 175 | From: sonoran desert | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
auntbeast
Shipmate
# 377

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Ah yes MrJuice, the ever popular (in its day) "I found it". I really preferred the run of spoofs it spawned:

"It's mine"
"We never lost it" (with a star of David on it)
"I stepped in it"
"I found it.. now how the hell do I get rid of it"

I also recall a parody I liked of the old "Honk if you love Jesus". It read "If you love Jesus work for Justice, any idiot can honk". It actually caused contenion in some parking lots [Disappointed]

Cheers,
Auntbeast

--------------------
"My vices are the children of a forced solitude that I abhor; and my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal" - Mary Shelley (Frankenstein)

Posts: 820 | From: Vancouver, Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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Then there's the spoof ones for old people which Victoria Wood coined:

We've seen the toilets at Longleat!
I lost my dentures at Alton Towers!
My other hat's a balaclava!

--------------------
*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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anglicanrascal
Shipmate
# 3412

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I always liked:

My other car is a broomstick.
Today I thought of someone I could give that to. [Two face]

Posts: 3186 | From: Diocese of Litigalia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
auntbeast
Shipmate
# 377

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For all I was bemoaning the fact that I don't have a big-ass 4X4 on another thread, I really do think that most of the sissy little yuppies who drive SUV's in town only and cry if they get mud on them need to be dealt with. One good idea.....

Guerilla bumper stickering...

Or for a Christian option check out this one...

Jesus and your SUV

Happy hunting,
Auntbeast

--------------------
"My vices are the children of a forced solitude that I abhor; and my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal" - Mary Shelley (Frankenstein)

Posts: 820 | From: Vancouver, Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
AB
Shipmate
# 4060

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I saw quite a good one the other day. It said:

"The meek will inherit the earth...
...if you don't mind"

Aaah, it made me smirk anyway.

Changing topic slightly, a friend of mine has a t-shirt with the phrase "Jesus can't skate" written on it, which I actually find, very, very funny.

[Smile]

AB

--------------------
"This is all that I've known for certain, that God is love. Even if I have been mistaken on this or that point: God is nevertheless love."
- Søren Kierkegaard

Posts: 513 | From: not so sunny Warwickshire | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Brendo
Apprentice
# 4512

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quote:
Here is Oregon I've seen for the first time, "Earth First--Then We'll Log the Rest of the Planets!"
sounds like the "Caution I speed up for small animals" I had on my old Mazda. [Big Grin]

{why not practice your UBB code?}

[ 14. May 2003, 12:54: Message edited by: Nightlamp ]

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'cos Sergeant D is coming, and you're on his list" -S.O.D.

Posts: 21 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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Someone sent me this a while back...
quote:
Fish on Cars

Top 10 things people won't say when they see a Christian bumper sticker or fish emblem on a car:

10. "Look! Let's stop that car and ask those folks how we can become Christians."

9. "Don't worry, Billy, those people are Christians. They must have a good reason for driving 90 miles an hour."

8. "What a joy to be sharing the highway with another car of Spirit-filled brothers and sisters."

7. "Isn't it wonderful how God blessed that Christian couple with a brand-new BMW?"

6. "Dad, how come people who drive like that don't get thrown in jail? Can we get a bumper sticker like that, too?"

5. "Stay clear of those folks, Martha. If they get raptured, that car's gonna be all over the road!"

4. "Oh, look! That Christian woman is getting a chance to share Jesus with a police officer."

3. "No, that's not garbage coming out of their windows, Bert. It's probably gospel tracts for the road workers."

2. "Oh boy, we're in trouble now! We just rear-ended one of God's cars."

1. "Quick, Alice, honk the horn or they won't know that we love Jesus!"


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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Here is Oregon I've seen for the first time, "Earth First--Then We'll Log the Rest of the Planets!"
The Oregon bumper sticker I found particularly -um- interesting was this one:

Welcome to Oregon. Now leave.

Reader Alexis

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
SeraphimSarov
Shipmate
# 4335

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We have the same sticker in California (probably all the refugees from Oregon! [Wink] )

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"For those who like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like"

Posts: 2247 | From: Sacramento, California | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Ann

Curious
# 94

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Today I followed "Caution - Blonde Thinking"

--------------------
Ann

Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kyzyl

Ship's dog
# 374

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quote:
Originally posted by sarkycow:
Slow handclap to Kyzyl, gradually quickening into applause.

And crongratulations to Kyzyl, our longest running apprentice, who has just made it to shipmate status!

Viki, hellhost

Aw shucks, thanks. Just needed the right thread and the ending of the spring term I guess.

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I need a quote.

Posts: 668 | From: Wapasha's Prairie | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
Today I followed "Caution - Blonde Thinking"

Isn't a bit like pigs flying? [Razz] [Big Grin] [Razz] [Big Grin] [Razz] [Big Grin]

<only joking y'know>

Ben26

--------------------
Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
My "LibraryThing" page

Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
auntbeast
Shipmate
# 377

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Saw a new one on the way to a fabulous fundraising party for a friends theater show...

"Don't pray in my school...
And I promise not to think in your church"

I was amused.

Cheers,
Auntbeast

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"My vices are the children of a forced solitude that I abhor; and my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal" - Mary Shelley (Frankenstein)

Posts: 820 | From: Vancouver, Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
fatprophet
Shipmate
# 3636

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I do love the sticker "Jesus is Coming, look busy!"

But is that meant to be offensive to x'ians?
Also, do you think I would get in trouble for suggesting it as the headline title of a series of youth events at my local church?

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FAT PROPHET

Posts: 530 | From: Wales, UK | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Trevor
Shipmate
# 3644

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I once saw, "If God is your co-pilot, switch seats.”

What I’d like to see is a Lamarck fish. He doesn’t usually get the respect he deserves.

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my joy has been transfinite

Posts: 196 | From: North Carolina, USA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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two goodies:

"Campus Crusade for C'thulu.... It Found Me."

"The meek will inheirit the earth.... the rest of us will go to the stars."

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Brendo
Apprentice
# 4512

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hey Auntbeast, wanted to reply to your stuff on the Christian boozers club but they closed it (bastards) like the philosophy of leading a posse of predatory women to prey on christian guys out for a few pints. Down here in redneck country Australia where men are men (and sheep are nervous...) we could use ladies like you all... [Devil] [Help]

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'cos Sergeant D is coming, and you're on his list" -S.O.D.

Posts: 21 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Trevor:
What I’d like to see is a Lamarck fish. He doesn’t usually get the respect he deserves.

For being wrong?

Reader Alexis

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lurker McLurker™

Ship's stowaway
# 1384

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quote:
Originally posted by Laura:
quote:
Originally posted by Regina Caeli:
quote:
Originally posted by Laura:
I saw a t-shirt in Provincetown that read:

What if the Hokey-Pokey really is what it's all about?

But of course the humour is lost in all the annoyance caused by the insistence on changing it to 'hokey pokey'.

RC

?
It's Hokey Cokey in Britain.

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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?

Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trevor
Shipmate
# 3644

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quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
For being wrong?

Reader Alexis

Sure, his evolutionary mechanism turned out to be wrong, but it was the first important one. He deserves respect for being a pioneer of evolutionary science, as well as for originating the field of invertebrate biology. (article)
Galen and Aristotle and Copernicus and Einstein all got things wrong too.

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my joy has been transfinite

Posts: 196 | From: North Carolina, USA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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"Hokey Cokey"???

Just to be sure, are we talking about the same thing? A dance game for kids? "You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out..."

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Trevor:
Galen and Aristotle and Copernicus and Einstein all got things wrong too.

But also made huge advances that others built on. Lamarck seems to be mostly a dead end.

Reader Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trevor
Shipmate
# 3644

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quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Trevor:
Galen and Aristotle and Copernicus and Einstein all got things wrong too.

But also made huge advances that others built on. Lamarck seems to be mostly a dead end.

Reader Alexis

My opinion of the matter, though hardly expert, is that Lamarck did make such an advance in evolutionary biology: the idea that organisms evolve at all.

Darwin is quoted as writing that "...he first did the eminent service of arousing attention to the probability of all changes in the organic, as well as in the inorganic world, being the result of law..."

That seems pretty major to me, and I consider a single major insight to trump incorrect specifics. Especially so in this case, because those specifics could not be proven wrong until after yet another discovery that happened a century later.

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my joy has been transfinite

Posts: 196 | From: North Carolina, USA | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Uncle!

Reader Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
sophs

Sardonic Angel
# 2296

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quote:
Originally posted by golden key:
"Hokey Cokey"???

Just to be sure, are we talking about the same thing? A dance game for kids? "You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out..."

You do the hokey cokey and you turn about....

yup thats the one!

Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lurker McLurker™

Ship's stowaway
# 1384

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quote:
Originally posted by golden key:
"Hokey Cokey"???

Just to be sure, are we talking about the same thing? A dance game for kids? "You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out..."

"In out, In out, shake it all about. Do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around. That's what it's all about. Oh! Hokey Cokey Cokey"

I had no idea it was spelt differently. Since the dance seems like it was invented by an American, perhaps our spelling originated with a misprint, like the US spelling of aluminium. Or is it because 'Poke' can have sexual connotations in Brit slang?

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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?

Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lurker McLurker™

Ship's stowaway
# 1384

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quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
Uncle!

Reader Alexis

Eh?

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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?

Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Here's the basic US version, with music.

http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/hokeypokey.html

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
TonyK

Host Emeritus
# 35

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quote:
Originally posted by Lurker:
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
Uncle!

Reader Alexis

Eh?
New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary:

" 'cry uncle, holler uncle, say uncle'
(N. Amer. colloq.) acknowledge defeat, cry for mercy."

IMHO, not a common reaction from Mousethief [Wink]

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Yours aye ... TonyK

Posts: 2717 | From: Gloucestershire | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Panda
Shipmate
# 2951

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What does a Lamarck fish look like anyway?

Re the 'my kid is...' stickers - my father was very pleased to have 'my daughter is an Air Cadet glider pilot' on his car til it faded, and that was in Canada. I haven't seen any other variants of it.

Posts: 1637 | From: North Wales | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
James Mc

Procrastinator
# 3414

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quote:
Originally posted by Panda:
What does a Lamarck fish look like anyway?


Whatever the environment forces it to look like? On a bumper, I would expect it to be very flat, wind proof and with an adhesive underside to assist maintenance of position. Rather like a squished, dried Cornish Sucker Fish , really....
Posts: 905 | From: London, UK | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by TonyK:
IMHO, not a common reaction from Mousethief [Wink]

Which smilie means "pbbbbbbth"? [Razz]

quote:
Originally posted by Panda:
What does a Lamarck fish look like anyway?

It would have to have an acquired characteristic which it was about to pass on to its offspring. Try representing THAT in a 1" x 3" bumper decal!

Reader Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
Uncle!

No! It was Charles Darwin's grandfather Erasmus Darwin who popularised the idea of evolution in England!

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Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged



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