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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: UM: UM Relay
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
... will not die in suspicious circumstances. And remember, we know where you live and have your children/cat/dog. Attempting to destroy this message will result in a visit from....
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
...will recieve a personally autographed picture of bill gates, and a....
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
eek,somehow i missed those last two posts when i made mine. sorry.
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Ham'n'Eggs
Ship's Pig
# 629
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Posted
...the car turned around and followed them. At the next intersection, it pulled ahead of them, and swerved to block them off. The driver got out, and said "Get in. You're going to pay a visit to"...
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"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...ropes designed for hanging boyfriends above cars are produced. Members of the public can visit this factory but if they do then they run the risk of having a kidney taken and then force-fed pop rocks and soda to make them explode. This factories existence is doubted by...
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
only those who don't love the lord Jesus with all their heart. These evil people have, with the help of satan himself, set up a group who's aim is to petition the government about...
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Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001
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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29
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Posted
...removing all non-Christian programming on television. As a bonus, if you sign their petition you will receive a copy of the gay-Jesus script and...
Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
...a personally autographed picture of bill gates as a thank you from microsoft. however, a less pleasent gift coming with this is a blue envelope infected with a virus which will....
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...open a pornography page on your computer and then send it to everyone in your address book. You can, however, prevent this by...
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29
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Posted
...placing a dollar bill in a glass jar and burying it in your backyard during a new moon. You will then be contacted by...
Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...that farmer from the midwest who has by now finished harvesting his corn. He will ask you to pass on a message to...
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
...the aliens in the mothership hovering over your head. the message will have something to do with the farmers irritation at having his corn spoiled by crop circles, but will not impress the aliens, who will....
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...return Elvis and Glenn Miller to torture the inhabitants of the Earth. Out of this devestation, however, will rise one man who will...
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
go on to create a one-world government, and force people to have barcodes tatooed onto their foreheads. to stop this, sign the attached petition. when it reaches 100 names, send it to...
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Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001
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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29
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Posted
...Outback Steakhouse, who will give you your choice of either a free meal or...
Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
...a kentucky fried rat. if you chose the rat....
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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aj
firewire technophobe
# 1383
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Posted
a free set of steak knives and a solar-powered mousetrap. But all this is only yours if you grab your phone right now and call...
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if there's no god, then who turns on the light when you open the fridge?
Posts: 2994 | From: ...on location | Registered: Sep 2001
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Ham'n'Eggs
Ship's Pig
# 629
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Posted
... 1-666-666-0666, which is of course, the number for ...
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"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...the Australian Police force (you have to be British to get that!). However, if you do dial this number you will be allowing unscrupulous types to make phone calls and charge them to you (the swines!). Also, if you receive an e-mail with the subject "Happy Birthday", under no circumstances open the attatchment as it will release...
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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aj
firewire technophobe
# 1383
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Posted
...lying outside the back door of a rubber-band factory. There is strange music coming from inside the building. In such a predicament you find you are sapped (sorry!)of strength, so you reach for you elastic-sided inflatable dartboard and realise that...
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if there's no god, then who turns on the light when you open the fridge?
Posts: 2994 | From: ...on location | Registered: Sep 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
...the music is in fact a cover version of "Bermuda Triangle" being recorded by Elvis, John Lennon, Glen Miller, Buddy Holly and the St Winifred's School Choir.
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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
and janis joplin as well. this strange choir causes you to have such a headache that you take two extra-strength tylenol, and....
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...wake up to find it's all been a horrible nightmare! You are infact...
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
...probably loosing interest in this story. Anyone got a good ending? 
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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aj
firewire technophobe
# 1383
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Posted
Okay. Let's try to wrap this one up. You are busy thinking of some incredibly witty addition to the UM relay when suddenly the worldwide electricity supply mysteriously drops out, closely followed by the failure of the global telecommunications network. This leaves the entire www in disarray for some time. You light a candle and read a book instead. The book is called...
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if there's no god, then who turns on the light when you open the fridge?
Posts: 2994 | From: ...on location | Registered: Sep 2001
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Highlander
Shipmate
# 584
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Posted
Perhaps this should now be written up. I'm happy to do it if you like.
Posts: 83 | From: Chessington | Registered: Jun 2001
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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29
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Posted
That would be fantastic, Highlander! Thanks!
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Siegfried
Life is just a bowl of cherries!
Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001
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