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Source: (consider it) Thread: Overheard snatches of wisdom
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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I've no idea if this is a thread or a single post, but here goes.

I suppose we all have the experience of catching snatches of conversation, overheard walking down the street or whatever. And, sometimes we hear something quite profound.

Just last night I turned on the TV, and in that moment before I switched to the channel I wanted caught a short piece of the programme that was on. And, heard some profound wisdom I would never have thought of otherwise.

"Accidents with chainsaws are rarely minor"

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Citizen of the world.

Posts: 31291 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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LOL. I'd say the same about cutting bagels. People wind up in the ER, due to the way they hold the bagel, plus a close encounter with the knife. However, there are bagel slicers available, plus safer ways to cut a bagel by hand.

Good idea for a thread, Alan. I'll keep my ears open.

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

Posts: 16758 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668

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"There is no such thing as minor surgery".

"Routine surgery is only routine from the surgeon's point of view".

[ 07. March 2017, 12:30: Message edited by: Stercus Tauri ]

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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)

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DonLogan2
Shipmate
# 15608

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From the wisdom sayings of my mother

"Don`t come running to me if you break your leg..."

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“I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth... "

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Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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One of my favorites is what I heard my brother tell his young daughter who was having a bit of a meltdown: "I realize you are upset, but that is no excuse for bad manners."

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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Gamaliel
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# 812

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One of the best I heard was in a very traditional old pub in Ledbury, Herefordshire. I hope it's still there.

This was when Space-Invaders and other machine-games were coming in but they didn't have any of that - simply table-skittles and dominoes.

I was a student and working on a fruit-farm a few miles away and a few of us wandered into town for a couple of pints on some evenings. I played table-skittles with an old fella called 'Ossie' with an accent as burred as a briar bush. 'Oi knocked down two buggerrrs ... 'Ee knocked down three buggerrrs ... Watch me knock down 'iss buggerrr now ...'

A few old couples were sat in the settles along the wall and I overheard this:

Husband: 'E sufferrred, 'e sufferrred afore 'e died ...'
Wife: ''E's the on'y man as I know, ever tried t'cure 'eart attack with Vic ...'

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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.

http://philthebard.blogspot.com

Posts: 14317 | From: Cheshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gamaliel
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# 812

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Or, on a train journey between Huddersfield and Leeds, when I noticed a lass across the aisle leafing through a large space-atlas - you know, one of those large books with illustrations of the constellations.

The old chap next to her would occasionally look up and peer over her shoulder at the illustrations.

Eventually, in a lugubrious Yorkshire accent he intoned, 'That's where we're all 'eaded ... the howlin vortex of infinity ...'

One of the best lines I've ever heard.

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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.

http://philthebard.blogspot.com

Posts: 14317 | From: Cheshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by DonLogan2:
From the wisdom sayings of my mother

"Don`t come running to me if you break your leg..."

The one I heard from my mother more often most often was "How can anyone be so intelligent yet act so stupid?"

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If someone takes a shot at President Trump will his bodyguards shout "Donald Duck"?

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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For those with synaesthesia:

'Don't you look at me in that tone of voice - it smells a funny colour!'

Yes, I have actually heard that said...

IJ

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The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Drat. It took me well over an hour after reading that before I realized all the problems with it. ("smells a funny color" made perfect sense and took three re-readings to notice.)
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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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I want to go back in time to tell all the people in the train carriage who laughed when I loudly told my student friends 'I've met the man I'm going to marry' that I really had. We celebrate our 34th Wedding Anniversary this year. Thank you.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34476 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
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# 16840

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Fairly well-worn one but good to remember when you're on the road and in a hurry --
'Better to be 5 minutes late in this world that 5 minutes early in the next'.

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. full stop for the purpose of leaving gap under post.
No hidden, deep or satirical meaning. Honest.

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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Lamb Chopped, I heard it said, and I, too, knew exactly what it meant. That was when I discovered that I am (slightly) synaesthesiac...(sp?).

[Two face]

IJ

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The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

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Arleigh
Shipmate
# 5332

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quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Fairly well-worn one but good to remember when you're on the road and in a hurry --
'Better to be 5 minutes late in this world that 5 minutes early in the next'.

Or the tagline for a Road Safety campaign I remember from my youth: "Better to be late than dead on arrival".
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Adeodatus
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# 4992

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A radio comedy panel show (I forget which) used to collect "eavesdroppings" like this. I'm not sure if it counts as wisdom, but one I've never forgotten was a bit of conversation between two young women - "He said, 'I want to marry a virgin', so I got right of that bed, put my clothes on, and went home!"

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"What is broken, repair with gold."

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Huia
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# 3473

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That reminds me of a friend commenting on a mutual acquaintance - "He says he wants to marry a virgin, then he goes around ensuring there are as few left as possible"

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

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Sarasa
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# 12271

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My favourite was 'It was so painful I thought I might as well have my belly button done as well'. Said in a very loud voice for all to hear in the local high street. I'm assuming the person in question had just paid a visit to our local tattoo/piercing parlour.

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Previously Gussie.
Newt fancier turned goldfish

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Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Fairly well-worn one but good to remember when you're on the road and in a hurry --
'Better to be 5 minutes late in this world that 5 minutes early in the next'.

Of course, if you are only 5 minutes from death (5 minutes early) I am not sure it is a good idea to be driving.

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Blog
My books for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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A well-known Les Barker quote -

Sex with a concertina is rarely accomplished discreetly

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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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ThunderBunk

Stone cold idiot
# 15579

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quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
A radio comedy panel show (I forget which) used to collect "eavesdroppings" like this.

It was Quote, Unquote.

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Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".

Foolish, potentially deranged witterings

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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927

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There were several of us in a queue for bathroom in a busy city store. Over the store music came a voice from a cubicle, "if I knew I would have the trots real bad like this, I would of stayed at home." *

The queue melted silently away .
*Grammar as remembered.

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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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"I don't need friends. I have knives."

Though the person who said this later confessed to quoting a video game.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19283 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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Not overheard as such, but to be seen by anyone entering the music room at my alma mater (an old 'tin tabernacle', BTW - the music room, not the school proper), was the following Pearl of Wisdom (or non-sequitur, if you prefer) neatly pencilled onto the green corrugated-iron:

'Seedy is a Soddy Sod. Like the Drip from the Roof.'

Seedy was our esteemed music master, Mr. Sutton (remember 'Sutton's Seeds'?).

IJ

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The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

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St. Gwladys
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# 14504

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Not sure if this counts:
We went to Avoncroft buildings museum many years ago. One of the exhibits was a display of Medieval roof cracks which had been rescued from a derelict building. The timbers were displayed lying on a platform.There were plenteous information boards explaining where they came from.
A family were looking at them at the same time as us. We overheard the mother tell her family "They must have found them like this".

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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)

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Stetson
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# 9597

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Listening to a guy lounging at a health-club giving a law-and-order rant about landlords who knowingly rent out space to drug dealers. He had prefaced his remarks by informing the assembled patrons that he was a lawyer.

GUY: I think that if someone knows that the house they're renting out is being used to sell drugs, they should be persecuted.

ME: You mean "prosecuted"?

GUY: Yeah, right. Prosecuted.

[ 12. March 2017, 15:56: Message edited by: Stetson ]

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Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
Seedy was our esteemed music master, Mr. Sutton (remember 'Sutton's Seeds'?).

No need to remember. They're still very much alive.
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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Pleased to hear it! Alas, our Seedy died suddenly whilst 'in post'....not, fortunately, at the school, though.

IJ

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The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

Posts: 7091 | From: With The Glums At The Bus Stop | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged


 
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