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» Ship of Fools   » Community discussion   » Heaven   » Ominous words (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Ominous words
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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quote:
Originally posted by Ohher:
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

I'm seeing this everywhere these days, and all it does is make me wonder what they had been using before

You really don't want to know. There are chemicals that give a similar flavour to most of those. Remember Walkers Smokey Bacon flavour crisp used to be vegetarian. Pringles still are.

Jengie

[ 22. June 2017, 11:17: Message edited by: Jengie jon ]

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

Posts: 20625 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
BroJames
Shipmate
# 9636

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"My government" (from Her Majesty)
Posts: 3242 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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"A strong and appropriate response".
Posts: 9406 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"But first" (said by newscasters)

Example: "A massive landslide has caused an entire coastal town to fall into the ocean. You'll never guess which one it was. But first, the latest sports scores."

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"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351

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"Have you got a minute?"

In pretty much any context (work, church, domestic)

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Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)

Posts: 1390 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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"Robust defence". More management speak, usually means arrogant and pig-headed.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343

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'Communion4all' (on service leaflet).

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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'

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Eirenist
Shipmate
# 13343

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Also 'mission-shaped'.

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'I think I think, therefore I think I am'

Posts: 432 | From: Darkest Metroland | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Brought to you by _____" (on TV, announcing a commercial break). What follows are ten commercials not in any way related to the sponsor whose name fills in the blank above.

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"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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quote:
Originally posted by Ohher:
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

I'm seeing this everywhere these days, and all it does is make me wonder what they had been using before, and immediately suspend belief.

This reminds me of a treat from my childhood that had the perplexing packaging of boasting that it was "Genuine Artificial Italian Ice"--whatever that meant.

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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

Posts: 2644 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged
Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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From a weather forecaster...

"It's shaping up to be another beautiful day out there!"

(my tastes in weather seem to be the polar opposite of the general consesnsus.)

Posts: 6384 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
There really is no need to worry.

Or "There is absolutely no cause for alarm" (start at about 1:00).

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9438 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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Doc hands me a paper, and says "here's the analogue", and then snaps on a rubber glove and says, "now for digital!".

(true story)

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Maybe I should stop to consider that I'm not worthy of an epiphany and just take what life has to offer
(formerly was just "no prophet") \_(ツ)_/

Posts: 11037 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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"Right-sizing," which has come to just mean "down-sizing," and probably means you're about to be canned.

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
"Guest" (anyone who pays money to use public transit)

...or of a store customer. Similarly, "team member" for an employee. "Family" is even worse in a business context.

quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
From a weather forecaster...

"It's shaping up to be another beautiful day out there!"

(my tastes in weather seem to be the polar opposite of the general consesnsus.)

Oh, I know! When I hear those words, I know it's going to be HOT and muggy!

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7660 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
leo
Shipmate
# 1458

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All thnings bein equal.

At the end of the day.

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My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com

Posts: 23054 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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Re building developments:

'An exciting, vibrant, new community' = more noise, litter, and traffic...

In similar vein (in parish profiles, advertising for new vicar):

'We are an exciting, vibrant parish' = we have a music group with BIGGER DRUMS than any other church...

IJ

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The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

Posts: 9132 | From: Passing The Glums At The Bus Stop | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:

'We are an exciting, vibrant parish' = we have a music group with BIGGER DRUMS than any other church...

IJ

[Killing me]

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9438 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Presumably not like these, though.
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"We are a small but growing parish" (= "we are five little old ladies and one incontinent cat")

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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O, I don't know - something along those lines, perhaps... [Paranoid]

IJ

--------------------
The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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(X-posted - I was making an observation on BT's drums).

What Miss Amanda said, anyhow. Has she been reading some Church of England parish profiles?

IJ

--------------------
The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

Posts: 9132 | From: Passing The Glums At The Bus Stop | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
# 15978

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quote:
On food product packaging: ". . . now with REAL (cheese, fruit, onion, whatever)"

In my local supermarket I once saw a packet of 'rectum and spinal cord -free mince'.

--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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O rats - they're the best bits.....

[Projectile]

IJ

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The future is another country - they might do things differently there...

Posts: 9132 | From: Passing The Glums At The Bus Stop | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
O rats - they're the best bits.....

...

He said mince, not mice.

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]

Posts: 7719 | From: Canada, eh? | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Reminds me of the first ingredient listed on a package of frozen crab meat I almost picked up at the supermarket: "crab-like product".

Which brings me to ominous words found on hotel reservation websites:

"Breakfast buffet" ( = reconstituted powdered egg-like product, microwaved bacon-like product, microwaved muffin-like product, etc.)

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kaplan Corday
Shipmate
# 16119

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"The hospitality industry..." - despite the fact that we PAY for the food, service, accommodation etc. it provides.
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Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
There really is no need to worry.

I was a student in Germany in the fall of 1956 when the Hungarian revolution and the Suez crisis took place simultaneously.

Like many other American students, I got in touch with the Consulate in Stuttgart and was told, "There is no official emergency yet."

Somehow, the combination of 'official' and 'yet' was not reassuring.

Moo

--------------------
Kerygmania host
---------------------
See you later, alligator.

Posts: 20191 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
"We are a small but growing parish"

Could also mean, "We are a tiny village but developers are about to build 1000 new houses".

Which reminds me: "Luxury dwellings" (= ordinary houses). "Affordable housing" (= slightly less exorbitant but poky).

[ 22. June 2017, 22:11: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
There really is no need to worry.

I was a student in Germany in the fall of 1956 when the Hungarian revolution and the Suez crisis took place simultaneously.

Like many other American students, I got in touch with the Consulate in Stuttgart and was told, "There is no official emergency yet."

Somehow, the combination of 'official' and 'yet' was not reassuring.

Moo

At that time it would probably have meant that no bombs had yet been dropped.

[ 22. June 2017, 22:24: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]

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Anglican't
Shipmate
# 15292

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"networking opportunity"

"Community Leader"

Posts: 3585 | From: London, England | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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"Clearly, therefore ..." (in an academic paper, signifying a huge illogical leap which the writer hopes no-one will notice).

"I'm only going to be five minutes" (by a driver, challenged when parking on private land).

"And you say you are Christians" (by a driver, challenged when parking in a private church car park).

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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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"We'll come back to that later/shortly," when spoken by a preacher (Mea culpa...).

[ 23. June 2017, 09:23: Message edited by: Stejjie ]

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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1048 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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All-age worship/ service = aimed squarely at the level of a dim 10 year-old (at best) with cacophonal interludes provided of either moronic action songs and/or worship dirges, all accompanied by a "music group" exclusively for those with little musical talent or training [Ultra confused]

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4673 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356

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'Something to suit all tastes'- most people will find one thing they're more or less OK with, amidst a lot of crud.

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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.

Posts: 6451 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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"Fine dining" = a very fancy room, lots of flummery, poor food.

"Morning gathered" = bought from supermarket the moment it opened.

"Hand-finished" = some poor sod sat by the production line sticking a single chocolate bean on top of each one.

"Lovingly created" = mass-produced.

Posts: 9406 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Sale" = we jacked up the prices so it looks like we've discounted them.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
The Midge
Shipmate
# 2398

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quote:
"I'll get back to you on that."
And meanwhile I won't hold my breath.

--------------------
Some days you are the fly.
On other days you are the windscreen.

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Ohher
Shipmate
# 18607

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"One size fits all" . . . except me.

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From the Land of the Native American Brave and the Home of the Buy-One-Get-One-Free

Posts: 233 | From: New Hampshire, USA | Registered: Jun 2016  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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quote:
Originally posted by Ohher:
"One size fits all" . . . except me.

[Overused]

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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"Yes we understand perfectly".

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18625 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Huia
Shipmate
# 3473

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From Metservice -

"Occasional showers"

"Morning fog" (If you're lucky it will clear by teatime).

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

Posts: 10095 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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"There will be a brief interruption to normal services...."

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

Posts: 7048 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815

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"G flat minor is a key anyone can sing in" - usually said by the organist.

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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican

Posts: 6697 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged
Ohher
Shipmate
# 18607

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From the tech-support voice at the other end of the phone: "That should work . . ."

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From the Land of the Native American Brave and the Home of the Buy-One-Get-One-Free

Posts: 233 | From: New Hampshire, USA | Registered: Jun 2016  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Any time you call into tech support, customer "service," whatever and spend 45 minutes listening to ghastly "hold" music... you finally reach a human, explain the problem, and they say "let me just transfer your call." You know the next thing you hear will be the dial tone.

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9438 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271

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Over the last few weeks I've become very fed up with 'the will of the people' being used by politicans.

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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.

Posts: 1913 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Alwyn
Shipmate
# 4380

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"Patriot" and "patriotic"

as in:-

"I am a patriot. I am not allowed to say this because it is not politically correct, but..."

"Don't you think that the media should report [...] in a more patriotic way?"

--------------------
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc
The TWC Writers' Study

Posts: 848 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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On a different tack...

On booting up your computer: "Windows is getting your computer ready" - aka, you will not be able to use the thing for ages (this normally happens when you need to use it very urgently!).

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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1048 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Kids eat half price" = choose a different restaurant to enjoy a quiet dinner.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10270 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755

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At the meat counter, "Frozen Fresh Thawed."
Posts: 2602 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged



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