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Source: (consider it) Thread: Alien Household Objects
Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755

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I have had a tablespoon in my house for about 30 years now. It does not match my tableware and I have no idea where it came from. I also found a table cloth among my stash that I have no memory of ever buying, and it is not the correct size for any of my tables. Finally I seem to have collected a rather large number of tape measures over the years.

Shipmates do you have any alien household objects that have landed in your abode?

[ 27. July 2017, 18:30: Message edited by: Graven Image ]

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M.
Ship's Spare Part
# 3291

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We were burgled last year; everything was pulled out of a cupboard, which meant - horrors! - it had to be given a long overdue tidy.

I discovered I have an impressive collection of hair grips - packets & packets of 'em - but I never use them...

M.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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I have one of those teaspoons that nobody recognizes. I think my infant son swiped it at a restaurant. I tried to take it back to the likely place, but they've changed patterns already...

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Piglet
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A lovely, heavy, old-fashioned serving-spoon bearing the initials "H P P" (which don't belong to anyone in the family) turned up in the Ancestral Pile in Orkney; as far as I know, nobody knows how it got there.

[ 27. July 2017, 22:13: Message edited by: Piglet ]

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Miss Manners once suggested you ought to make up wild and crazy tales about an ancestor (sadly deceased) by those initials.

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Galloping Granny
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# 13814

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Not an ancient relic but a welcome one.
I have several pairs of cheap but effective reading glasses kept where they might be needed: by the bed, in the car (which I try to remember to take into the doctor's waiting room so that I can read the New Yorker), in the bag I take to church.
A pair suddenly appeared on the table by the front door, where temporary articles are supposed to be put but some last for quite a while. It's become relatively clear lately, but no visitors who have been here lately have put it there.
So it has replaced the one in the car, which tended to fall off my nose anyway. Alas, the doctor was right on time this morning, so I only got half way through an article.

GG

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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113

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Brenda Clough
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# 18061

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About 20 years ago, on New Year's Day in the morning, I went out into the front yard and found a copper saucepan in the grass. It is a small one but clearly very expensive, one of those ones with a tinned inside. It is probably part of a very costly set. There seemed nothing to be done with it (clearly the squirrels were not going to use it) but take it inside, wash it, and use it. I have it still. I can construct a scenario of how it got onto my front lawn (inebriated New Year's celebrant flinging pan out of car window after a pot-luck party for which this pan held the sauce vor the cherries jubilee) but no one has ever come looking for it.

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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How. Awesome.

Around our house, I'm sorry to say, the alien objects are generally underwear.

No, I have NO idea how or why that is the case.

Most of them are children's underwear, which I suppose may have some connection with my great nephews who stay here weekly. But what really stumps me are the occasional tighty-brighties (usually dayglo colors) which turn up in the laundry. NOBODY wears those in this family. There is a grandparent who does, but he hasn't been here for a few years.... My housekeeping isn't that crappy, is it?

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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aizen
Apprentice
# 18794

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I shudder to think what I would find in the drawers and cabinets that have not opened in quite a time. I might find some great treasures though.
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Roseofsharon
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# 9657

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Mr RoS is something of a "snapper-up of unconsidered trifles" (not so far as stealing them, but if anything is being given away, or clearly long-lost he brings it home).. Unfortunately he also has a very bad short-term memory, so if asked - "what's this woolly hat doing in the washing basket?" or "where did this odd spoon in the cutlery drawer come from?" he has no knowledge of it .
Consequently many alien objects pop up around our house.
Most get exported to one charity shop or another, or snuck out to the dustbin.

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Talk about books -any books- on our rejuvenatedforum http://www.bookgrouponline.com/index.php?

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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A friend found an odd serving spoon in his house once. He thought it looked like my flatware pattern, and assumed it was mine. It wasn't but he gave it to me, and I use it frequently!

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Huia
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# 3473

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quote:
Originally posted by Galloping Granny:
Alas, the doctor was right on time this morning, so I only got half way through an article.

GG

I am impressed! A doctor that is not only on time, but also has decent reading material
[Eek!]

Mine has women's magazines so old that they contain announcements of engagements of celebrities whose divorces have just hit the newspaper headlines.

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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I tend to accumulate keys. The bottom drawer of my night table contains several keys, the locks to which they fit, I haven't the faintest notion.

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"Stop your noisy songs; I do not want to listen to your praise bands." -- Amos 5:23, Good News Bible (modified)

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mousethief

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# 953

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For a time, our house was a way station for towels. We lost towels, only to have them replaced with towels we had never seen and certainly would never have bought. For example Josephine bought me a lovely towel embossed with "42" on my 42nd birthday, and within a couple of years it was replaced by a bright purple thing of completely unknown provenance. This stopped happening after our two oldest left home.

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

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leo
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# 1458

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I'm convinced there's a black hole in my kitchen.

[ 28. July 2017, 16:53: Message edited by: leo ]

--------------------
My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com

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Brenda Clough
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# 18061

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There is an actual story (I think authored by Theodore Sturgeon) which postulates that paperclips mate, in the backs of kitchen drawers. Their larval form is wire coat hangers and as I recall the mature form is rusty bicycles.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Sparrow
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# 2458

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
There is an actual story (I think authored by Theodore Sturgeon) which postulates that paperclips mate, in the backs of kitchen drawers. Their larval form is wire coat hangers and as I recall the mature form is rusty bicycles.

No, ballpoint pens!

--------------------
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Would that they were. I could use a couple hundred ballpoint pens.

Instead, what do I get? Chopsticks. Cheap ones, dog nibbled, which don't match.

Gaaaaaah.

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Adeodatus
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# 4992

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I think I might be at the other end of the cutlery wormhole. I don't have a problem with things inexplicably turning up, I have a problem with things inexplicably vanishing. A set of 6 knives is currently down to four. Forks, three. I know the dishwasher hasn't claimed them because I think dishwashers are the ultimate depth of decadence and won't have one in the house. And I know my friends aren't stealing them because the knives and forks are stainless steel, and I'm proud to say my friends would steal nothing less than Georgian silver.

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"What is broken, repair with gold."

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Brenda Clough
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# 18061

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When we run thin on crockery and cutlery I go explore my son's room.
A comic that shows what I mean.

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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quote:
Originally posted by Sparrow:
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
There is an actual story (I think authored by Theodore Sturgeon) which postulates that paperclips mate, in the backs of kitchen drawers. Their larval form is wire coat hangers and as I recall the mature form is rusty bicycles.

No, ballpoint pens!
No no - ballpoint pens do the opposite of mating - they just disappear without trace.

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Penny S
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# 14768

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The teaspoons are in the compost heap.

When we turned out my Dad's house we found an odd thing in the drawer in the kitchen for odd things. It had a wooden handle, and a metal shaft like that of a screwdriver. On the end of the shaft was a flat disc with a number of indentations of various sizes around its circumference. The indentations were partial circles. After a long search, with photographs posted, we came to the conclusion that it was for scraping the rods of a barbecue grill. Except that he had no barbecue.

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MaryLouise
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# 18697

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Oh, yes. In a kitchen drawer I came across a vintage ceramic pie funnel or vent in the shape of a small white elephant with upturned trunk.

These pie funnels were made by Nutbrown, an English company manufacturing kitchenware based in Walker Street, Blackpool, in the 1930s. Their utensils were exported all over the world.

For a long time this pie funnel stood on the windowsill above the sink and was referred to as 'dust-collector' or 'wots-it'. It looked pretty and I had no idea what it was. Eventually, I examined it more closely and looked it up online. Pie vents or pie funnels were once very popular right across British colonies. They are still used. After a dish is lined with pastry crust, the funnel is placed into the centre, the filling is added, and the top crust is molded around the figurine. While baking, the hollow of the pie funnel allows steam to escape the filling and prevents juices from overflowing in the oven.

I assume this little ceramic elephant was brought in from the garden by a dog digging for bones. The house I live in is about a century old and someone in the 1930s might have baked pies with it.

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“As regards plots I find real life no help at all. Real life seems to have no plots.”

-- Ivy Compton-Burnett

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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/tangent alert/

My old Mum used ceramic and/or enamel pie funnels (she died in 2004), and I still have some of them (alas, no elephant-shaped ones, though.) They are, I believe, quite sought after by kitchenware aficionados, so don't chuck it out.

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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(Just spotted Penny's post).

The flat disc you mentioned may have been a knitting-needle gauge i.e. to check you have the right size needle. My old Mum had one, she being a great knitter, as well as pie-maker (see above).

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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Are the half-circle cut-outs the same size? Then it can't be a knitting needle gauge. I don't suppose the metal circle turns?

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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Apologies, but memories are often deceptive - Aged Mum's knitting needle gauge was, IIRC, actually bell-shaped:

http://paternoster.orpheusweb.co.uk/knitting/needlesizes.htm

I think Penny S' objet d'art may be something similar, though.

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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Sparrow
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# 2458

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quote:
Originally posted by MaryLouise:
Oh, yes. In a kitchen drawer I came across a vintage ceramic pie funnel or vent in the shape of a small white elephant with upturned trunk.

These pie funnels were made by Nutbrown, an English company manufacturing kitchenware based in Walker Street, Blackpool, in the 1930s. Their utensils were exported all over the world.

For a long time this pie funnel stood on the windowsill above the sink and was referred to as 'dust-collector' or 'wots-it'. It looked pretty and I had no idea what it was. Eventually, I examined it more closely and looked it up online. Pie vents or pie funnels were once very popular right across British colonies. They are still used. After a dish is lined with pastry crust, the funnel is placed into the centre, the filling is added, and the top crust is molded around the figurine. While baking, the hollow of the pie funnel allows steam to escape the filling and prevents juices from overflowing in the oven.

I assume this little ceramic elephant was brought in from the garden by a dog digging for bones. The house I live in is about a century old and someone in the 1930s might have baked pies with it.

My mother had one shaped like a baby Blackbird with its neck stretched up, the vent was its gaping beak.

--------------------
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Nicolemr
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# 28

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quote:
My mother had one shaped like a baby Blackbird with its neck stretched up, the vent was its gaping beak.

I have one of those!

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

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Brenda Clough
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# 18061

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They are still available!
Pie blackbird.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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cliffdweller
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# 13338

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
About 20 years ago, on New Year's Day in the morning, I went out into the front yard and found a copper saucepan in the grass. It is a small one but clearly very expensive, one of those ones with a tinned inside. It is probably part of a very costly set. There seemed nothing to be done with it (clearly the squirrels were not going to use it) but take it inside, wash it, and use it. I have it still. I can construct a scenario of how it got onto my front lawn (inebriated New Year's celebrant flinging pan out of car window after a pot-luck party for which this pan held the sauce vor the cherries jubilee) but no one has ever come looking for it.

While we were on vacation out-of-town my young sons were playing in a park when they discovered a pretty footed glass cake plate w/ glass dome hidden in the bushes. The sort you might have at a very fancy tea party, not the kind you'd have for picnic in the park. We waited until we ready to go hours later to see if anyone would claim it. No one did so we decided to adopt it and give it a good home.

I'm going to have to come up with an imaginative story to fit how it ended up on holiday. Perhaps it grew tired of stuffy upscale dinner parties where it was being employed, and snuck out one evening when the staff were a bit tardy in the cleaning up. Hiding in the bushes of the nearby seaside park, it watched a children's birthday party, finding them much more joyful than the soulless corporate events it had been relegated to. Thus it plotted to leap into my son's arms, begging to be liberated from it's colorless existence...

[ 29. July 2017, 20:38: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
When we run thin on crockery and cutlery I go explore my son's room.
A comic that shows what I mean.

When we packed to move, I found a whole nest of (my) screwdrivers under Son 2's bed. We'd only lived there 2 years. He was instructed to not collect other people's screwdrivers anymore.

[ 29. July 2017, 21:12: Message edited by: mousethief ]

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
While we were on vacation out-of-town my young sons were playing in a park when they discovered a pretty footed glass cake plate w/ glass dome hidden in the bushes. The sort you might have at a very fancy tea party, not the kind you'd have for picnic in the park. We waited until we ready to go hours later to see if anyone would claim it. No one did so we decided to adopt it and give it a good home.

I'm going to have to come up with an imaginative story to fit how it ended up on holiday. Perhaps it grew tired of stuffy upscale dinner parties where it was being employed, and snuck out one evening when the staff were a bit tardy in the cleaning up. Hiding in the bushes of the nearby seaside park, it watched a children's birthday party, finding them much more joyful than the soulless corporate events it had been relegated to. Thus it plotted to leap into my son's arms, begging to be liberated from it's colorless existence...

Was it MacArthur's Park? And was it left out in the rain?

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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Mmm, a public park, you say? Then the John LeCarre scenario leaps easily into the mind. "So, you've got it. If it's a glass cake stand, that means the drop is clear, and you go on and find the secret microfilms under the roundabout."
"Right. And if it's the tupperware?"
"That means that you're being blown by Stasi, and the North Koreans are on your trail. Go immediately to the safe house, and they'll prep you for plastic surgery. We'll have four separate church picnics going on, and no one will know which cake stand it'll be until the last second."
In the excitement of the drop, clearly someone forgot to scoop up the glass cake stand.

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338

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[Overused]
If only we had roundabouts here
In the U.S.

Perhaps film was buried underneath the clown speaker at the drive thru

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
[Overused]
If only we had roundabouts here in the U.S.

They're beginning to build some in Arizona, but Arizonans (not the nation's best drivers!) cannot figure out how to use them. Mostly they're at minor intersections, but if they ever put them in at major intersections it will be a disaster.

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Don't you have playground roundabouts either?

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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MaryLouise
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# 18697

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Went to check up on my 'sought-after by kitchen aficionados' collectable ceramic pie funnel, to see if it was chipped or stained.

Can't find it anywhere. Perhaps it is like one of those mysterious garden gnomes that pops up in Finland or Cornwall and travels around the world in Instagram.

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“As regards plots I find real life no help at all. Real life seems to have no plots.”

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L'organist
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# 17338

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If you find your pie funnel could you look at the same time for my herb mill: vanished, gorn, children deny ever having seen same, even in the face of photographic evidence of them using it to prepare mint for sauce. We also seem to have 'lost' 2 pruning saws and a long-armed tree lopper from a garden which is completely enclosed (and in any case they were in a padlocked shed).

Is there a black hole centred above the house, or should I conclude that The Borrowers wasn't a work of fiction?

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Penny S
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# 14768

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
(Just spotted Penny's post).

The flat disc you mentioned may have been a knitting-needle gauge i.e. to check you have the right size needle. My old Mum had one, she being a great knitter, as well as pie-maker (see above).

IJ

An important part of the needle gauge is the numbering - there were no numbers. Also the screwdriver structure would be very unusual, as most of my gauges are flat. Interesting idea, though.

The holes were different sizes, and the disc did not rotate.

[ 30. July 2017, 16:47: Message edited by: Penny S ]

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Brenda Clough
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# 18061

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Were they very small, like a knitting needle? If the holes were 1 inch or more then it may have been a pasta serving size measure.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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jedijudy

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# 333

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The Florida roundabouts are not understood by many of my neighbors. My friend was in the yield lane and was yelling at another driver who was blithely proceeding in his lane as he should. I mentioned the large, friendly letters spelling the word yield. She had never noticed them before. [brick wall]

And back to the subject!
I'm one of those who have mysterious towels appear in my home. It's not like visitors have to bring their own towels from home if they're staying with me. When asked about the alien things, nobody will claim to have ever seen them before.

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Penny S
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# 14768

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Were they very small, like a knitting needle? If the holes were 1 inch or more then it may have been a pasta serving size measure.

They were small - hence our thinking of scraping grill rods.

This is the nearest I can find - makes much more sense of scraping grills than the round thing, though.
Barbecue scraper

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Penny S
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# 14768

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And this is even nearer.


Another scraper

What is apparent from searching for thse things is that no-one has yet found the perfect one - they are legion in design.

[ 30. July 2017, 20:22: Message edited by: Penny S ]

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Penny S
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# 14768

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Even better match.

Universal scraper

Dad did not have a barbecue, remember. But he might have got it for the grill pan.

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cliffdweller
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# 13338

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quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
Don't you have playground roundabouts either?

We call them "merry-go-rounds" (in addition to the other, bigger ones with horsies)

So are you suggesting perhaps the cake plate was part of some crazed party that took place entirely upon the merry-go-round/roundabout, at which point the children became so hyped up on sugar that the merry-go-round was pushed faster & faster & faster until finally the cake plate went spinning out of control out into the outer atmosphere?

... whereupon it fell to earth, still spinning. so that it neatly decapitating Jimmy Hoffa... the most elegant Mafia hit ever...

...but the cake was delicious.

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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Nicolemr
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# 28

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Of ourse I was slightly disapointed by the content of this thread, as from the title I was hoping it would be about items an extraterrestrial would have around the house. [Big Grin]

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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But, if Penny's Dad didn't acquire The Mysterious Scrapey Thing for the grill pan, then maybe it is indeed of Alien Provenance.

It would be just the thing for combing one's facial tentacles, and keeping them free of soup or whatever.

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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I'm wondering what that 'whatever' might be, Bishops Finger. [Eek!]

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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Green Alien Gunge!!

[Projectile]

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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