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Source: (consider it) Thread: So misleading...
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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So I almost posted something on a different thread about an old surfing accident, and then I realized just how misleading that would be. Because I've mentioned it in real life and seen the sudden respect [Killing me] that comes into the other person's eyes, as they imagine me as a former badass, hanging ten on a real board in 20 foot waves.

In reality it was a boogie board, I was body surfing, and my shoulder dislocated way too easily due to a genetic tissue problem.

I'm tempted to mention none of this the next time I slip up.

Anyone else have misleading stories?

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19992 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pangolin Guerre
Shipmate
# 18686

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Well, I've made reference to this on an old thread. "I was having a drink with a KGB colonel, and he was telling me that..." It sounds all very Le Carre, foggy night on a bridge, someone "falls" into the Spree. In fact, he had defected, written a book, and we were at the faculty club. Very bourgeois, actually.

As to boogie boards, I actually almost killed myself on one once. I didn't know what I was doing, was alone, and was bounced off the ocean floor by a wave. My last words will likely be along the lines of "Oh, fu......"

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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heheheheheh.

Yes, come to think of it, I could tell you the story about the time we took top Communist Party leaders to the circus...

(The things we'll do for the Lord. Sheesh. You should have seen Mr. Lamb's face!)

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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Which circus?

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I'm not dead yet.

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Pangolin Guerre
Shipmate
# 18686

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Smiley's?
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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I'm remembering something in St Louis, very cool, it couldn't have been Cirque du Soleil, could it? This would have been in the late 90s.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Pangolin Guerre
Shipmate
# 18686

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Cirque du Soleil started around 1985, but I don't know that they would have been in St Louis before October 1989. (Assuming that your Commies were European, which, of course, they needn't be.)

[ 29. August 2017, 22:56: Message edited by: Pangolin Guerre ]

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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From Vietnam. Which is what made the situation fraught. Mr. Lamb is a vet, a camp survivor and a boat person--as they doubtless realized. Which is why we didnt do the usual Vietnamese thing of "Where are you from and who are your people?"

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19992 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Amorya

Ship's tame galoot
# 2652

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I was one of Charlotte Church's backing singers.

Technically true, for one day… it was when I (and she, we're about the same age) was in my early teens, and she was in her "voice of an angel" phase. I was part of a children's choir that did backing music for a Christmas TV programme that Ms Church sang for. I never met her, they recorded our parts separately and merged them using the magic of editing.

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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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In another identity I am a costumed crime fighter. True, but it is solely writers' scams, through SFWA and Writer Beware. No batarangs involved.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I'm remembering something in St Louis, very cool, it couldn't have been Cirque du Soleil, could it? This would have been in the late 90s.

Circus Flora?

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I'm not dead yet.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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It might have been--I have to confess I've never been to a circus other than on that one occasion, so I wouldn't necessarily remember anything distinguishing. Except that we were in a very posh venue (where, I can't remember) and I found the acts mesmerizing. (But then, I would, wouldn't I?)

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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Were there animals? If there were animals it may have been the Big Apple Circus. If there were only human beings but it was very sophisticated it was Cirque du Soliel.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597

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People from the general area of Edinburgh may be impressed to hear that I once provided the name for a particular year's Fringe.

Granted, it was the Edmonton Fringe, and my suggestion was conveyed via walking up to the festival's director in the beer tent and telling him what I thought he should call the next year's festival, a suggestion he followed up on two years later, as next year's name had already been chosen.

I will say that the Edmonton Fringe is not just any old Fringe, but was actually the first anywhere outside of Edinburgh. So it does have some historical significance, as far as Fringes go.

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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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If it was in St. Louis in that period, it was probably Circus Flora. (In fact, I believe that the Wikipedia article quotes from my review.) I don't think of them as posh, but they do have a very nice tent, although thrust into the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra's parking lot (at a time of year in which they're hosting graduation ceremonies and giving pops concerts - but Grand Center has its own agenda).

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I'm not dead yet.

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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I once coined a major marketing phrase, all unwitting, whilst visiting a friend in the Marketing and PR department of the grand opera company for which I used to sing.

Lyric Opera of Chicago was giving its first complete cycles of Wagner's "Ring," and the PR folks were amazed by how far people were coming to see it.

I explained, "They're Ringheads - like Deadheads, but for grand opera." There was a chorus of "Ohhhh." The next time LOC gave it, I returned to find hats and T-shirts and all sorts of things emblazoned "Ringhead."

I didn't get any credit for it, but I did buy a hat.

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I'm not dead yet.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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[Killing me]

Ringheads. [Killing me]

It was definitely not a tent, and no animals. Only people doing lovely and amazing things

Mr. Lamb had a schtick he eould pull out whenever a petty criminal was harassing one of our immigrant families. Leaning up against the wall, he would cross his arms, look the punk directly in the eye, and remark casually,

"I escaped from a jail."

(Leaning forward menacingly:)

"TWICE."

Then he'd have to stand back so they could rush out in a panic.

He never mentioned that the jail in question was a prison camp for former officers of South Vietnam. They took him for a murderer or something.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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Bravo!

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I'm not dead yet.

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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On a visit to Madrid, I suffered a flamenco-related injury.

We were walking to a flamenco dinner show in the pouring rain. I slipped on some wet cardboard and went careering down the hill with one leg bent under me. Nothing broken but I hobbled everywhere for the rest of our visit, walking with a stick the hotel kindly lent me.

I told people it was a flamenco-related injury, which sounded terribly glamorous.

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Searching for a new sig...

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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Once at a former job, I realized how funny out-of-context it would be if someone heard the couple of sentences I'd just uttered, about moving the flying saucer back into place and turning on the death rays.

See, I was working in a church.

The "flying saucer" was an information desk that was on wheels, so we could move it out of the way when we needed to use the space it normally occupied.

The "death rays" were really bright lights aimed at the stained glass windows from inside, which neighbors paid for, since they thought it looked pretty all lit up at night. We'd turn them off when we had a late service or other event, because (1) they filled the church with an unholy greenish light, and (2) they made a loud buzzing sound. Hence the nickname.

So we were cleaning up after a late service, and needed to turn those lights back on and move the information desk back into place! It's just so boring to put it that way...

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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I was scarred in a ride at Alton Towers.

I hight then point out that this was before it was a major adrenaline-ride park, and the ride was a concrete toboggan ride. And I refused to brake, because it was so much fun. Yes, it hurt, and there was a scar for many years, but it wasn't really that serious.

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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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I try to resist the temptation to bring up my excommunication in certain company, but it's hard. My whole life (from the outside, anyway) I've looked like a goody two shoes. Throwing the excommunication into the conversation makes me look less fluffy.

When they find out the excommunication was forced through by a lunatic and included about 60 other people, including small babies, well, my fluffiness quotient shoots back up again.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668

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I like to show people the scar on my right arm from when I was struck by a Seawolf missile, which is absolutely true. During a period of a few months when I was at RAE Farnborough we had our tea breaks in one of the weapons labs. One day it was getting a bit crowded, and someone asked me to give him a hand moving the shell of a Seawolf that was in the way. It slipped, and the pointed corner of a fin gashed my arm. I wear the scar proudly.

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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
...When they find out the excommunication was forced through by a lunatic and included about 60 other people, including small babies, well, my fluffiness quotient shoots back up again.

That's all right, LC. We know how badass you really are.

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I'm not dead yet.

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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643

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I have quite a number of good stories. On one visit to Russia an army colonel took us to visit the zoo, after we drove their mobile missile launching trucks around in a forest. My wife and I were both awarded Outstanding Soldier medals.

I used to be put at the end of the chow line in a logging camp in Alaska so everyone would get enough to eat. Actually we were engineers, not loggers (though it was, in fact, a logging camp) and I was willing to take the smallest steak in exchange for all the remaining vegetables that nobody else wanted.

I was attacked by a hedgehog while sleeping under a bridge in New Zealand.

And last week I was awarded the Mayor's Honor Medal of Ulaan Bataar, or so the translator thought it might be called. Something about supporting economic development and political stability according to the certificate, though I'm not exactly sure how that applies.

As a final exam in my French class we had to describe what we had done that day as an oral exam. I was unemployed at the time, and planned on spending the day studying, but was called out with the Search and Rescue team instead. The poor teacher's face went through stages of shock and horror as I described locating and recovering the body of a suicide victim ("to have killed oneself" being a properly reflexive phrase of the type she was hoping we would use.) I guess that wasn't what most people had done that day...


I have several more - part of it is the imagination of how to present situations in a light that makes them appear more unusual than they really are. I don't usually talk about them, but they do come in handy when someone insists that we play "Two Truths and a Lie" as an ice-breaker at one of our favorite restaurants.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Attacked by a hedgehog?!!!??

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
So I almost posted something on a different thread about an old surfing accident, and then I realized just how misleading that would be. Because I've mentioned it in real life and seen the sudden respect [Killing me] that comes into the other person's eyes, as they imagine me as a former badass, hanging ten on a real board in 20 foot waves.

In reality it was a boogie board, I was body surfing, and my shoulder dislocated way too easily due to a genetic tissue problem.

I'm tempted to mention none of this the next time I slip up.

Anyone else have misleading stories?

I have almost this story. A few years ago I broke my ankle. When folks asked me why I was hobbling round with my foot in a cast I murmured "surfing accident".

In reality, it wasn't my surfing. I was walking along the edge of the water when a surfer wiped out and his longboard came flying out (no leash-- bad surfer!) and whacked me right in the ankle.

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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That'll do it!

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19992 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
North East Quine

Curious beastie
# 13049

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I have mentioned my axe-killer great uncle on the boards. He hacked several people to death. Yes, honestly.

It was during the Battle of Ypres. His machine gun jammed, and he fought off advancing Germans with a trench hatchet. He was mentioned in dispatched as having killed three, the regimental history says he killed five, and the local newspaper reported that he had hacked no fewer than eleven "burly Huns" to death.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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[Eek!] [Eek!] [Eek!]

That's certainly someone to bring to your primary school Careers Day!

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19992 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
# 15978

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I'm missing a front tooth.

My Dad knocked it out when I was a kid.

(He didn't mean to. But hey, I do some volunteering and every now and again the short version breaks the ice with someone new at the centre, if they ask).

I also have a big scar on top of my right wrist. Well, I cut my wrist, but I got it wrong...

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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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Amorya

Ship's tame galoot
# 2652

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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
I also have a big scar on top of my right wrist. Well, I cut my wrist, but I got it wrong...

I have a scar on my right wrist. Approximately along the vein, too!

The real story: a vending machine had taken my money but the crisps didn't drop down. I tried to give it a hearty shove to help it along. But I caught my wrist on the catch holding the padlock to keep it shut.

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Conversation repeated several times by me:

Enquirer: Which town were you born in?
Me: East London
Enquirer: So you are a Londoner then, which part
Me: No, East London, South Africa.

afaik Londoners do not talk of 'East London'; they use 'East End' or the area name or the postcode but not 'East London'.

It's not helped by the fact that the first couple of years my life were spent in Alice.

Jengie

[ 08. September 2017, 08:16: Message edited by: Jengie jon ]

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

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Margaret

Shipmate
# 283

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My last school prize-giving, when I was the only person to carry off three prizes (a few people got two): the Russian prize, the Classics prize, and the general work for A level prize. My mother was delighted to report that someone behind her gasped when the list was read out. Alas, I only got two of them because I was the only person who lasted out Russian and Greek as far as doing the exams [Devil]
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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[Killing me] Yeah, that's how I got the AFL-CIO union scholarship for my year. I was the only one who wrote the essay for it, and so got it, in spite of my (probably unwelcome) point of view.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19992 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Og, King of Bashan

Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562

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I never let my wife forget that I am on a musical recording that gets regular radio play.

Never mind that it's my church choir, and our director happens to be good friends with the host of the "sacred choral classics" show on the local public radio. It's still a quality recording, and it's on the radio way more than anything by any of our other cooler musician friends.

I also proudly hold on to my four-year varsity award from High School. I seldom mention that it was in Cross Country, and at the time the school was so desperate for runners that anyone who showed up was automatically on the varsity team. Or that I finished at least one race dead last. I showed up for four years, stayed relatively healthy, and at the end of high school, I took my rightful place on the stage at the school awards program with a few all-state soccer and lacrosse players who were recruited to play for major college teams.

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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Some things can be stated to seem more exciting or bizarre than they actually are.

For example, I once shared a drink in a bar with a gay rabbi, the bishop of Durham and a member of the band Busted.

As it happens, Rabbi Lionel Blue (RIP old friend) had been giving a talk at my university college at which the recently consecrated bishop was in attendance. Afterwards, we headed down to the college bar, where the aforementioned pop star happened to be, as his girlfriend's sister was a fellow student.

In an entirely separate incident, a few weeks ago, I was locked in my own back garden by the British ambassador to Belarus.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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I travelled on the private motor-boat of the President of Guinea-Bissau.

(I was on missionary service at the time, we were travelling from an offshore island to the mainland, the Captain had run an errand for the President and was going back empty, about 30 assorted people hitched a ride. It was a rather small boat - and terribly slow!)

[ 08. September 2017, 16:42: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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I used to run my fingers through Placido Domingo's hair on a regular basis.

It was in a production of Bizet's "Carmen" at Lyric Opera of Chicago; I was in the chorus, playing a cigarette girl, and he was singing the role of Don José; and the director told me to do it. But there were people who were envious of my staging.

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I'm not dead yet.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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[Killing me]

I was an aide to Jimmy Doohan, you know, Scotty of Star Trek fame?

(for a couple hours--during a bookstore signing--he was very nice)

[ 08. September 2017, 18:45: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19992 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Huia
Shipmate
# 3473

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quote:
Originally posted by Carex:
I was attacked by a hedgehog while sleeping under a bridge in New Zealand.

We breed 'em tough here. Makes up for our lack of otherwise dangerous beasts.
[Big Grin]

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

Posts: 10124 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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Was he pleasant?

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I'm not dead yet.

Posts: 14683 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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I danced with Mark Phillips. (Well that worked better when Princess Anne was married to him.)

Except that it was a quite different Mark Phillips - he was my partner in the Maypole dance at Primary School.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34563 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
I danced with Mark Phillips. (Well that worked better when Princess Anne was married to him.)

Except that it was a quite different Mark Phillips - he was my partner in the Maypole dance at Primary School.

If we're going for that angle, then I can add that I used to share a house with Christopher Lee. I think he's now a primary school teacher somewhere in County Durham.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3708 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
rosamundi

Ship's lacemaker
# 2495

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I walked round on a broken leg for six weeks.

It was a stress fracture of my tibia, which are tricky things to diagnose at the best of times, and they can't really do anything for them even when you have a diagnosis. I did quite enjoy the four hours of uninterrupted reading time while the nuclear isotope they gave me as part of the bone scan worked its way through me.

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Website.
Ship of Fools flickr group

Posts: 2380 | From: here or there | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
I danced with Mark Phillips. (Well that worked better when Princess Anne was married to him.)

Except that it was a quite different Mark Phillips - he was my partner in the Maypole dance at Primary School.

Diana Spencer waited on me at Harrods. But she looked nothing like the real Princess Diana, whom I'd seen just a couple of days earlier.

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9459 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Oh, I was offered coffee by Michael Jackson when I was a student. He was the minister of the church I was attending at the time.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

Posts: 20652 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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Oh, Michael Jackson used to work as a teller where I banked, too!

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I'm not dead yet.

Posts: 14683 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881

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Rossweise, you'll enjoy this. In my youth, I was fortunate to score the role of Musetta in a summer touring production based in Cologne. "Wow, that's amazing! Congratulations!" Thanks, I'm really excited about going to Kelowna!

Oooh, ooh, and Patrick Stewart lived at one of the student residences at Caprica U. I saw him regularly when he came in to pay the rent and was amazed to see his full head of hair.

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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"

Posts: 5376 | From: Caprica City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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quote:
Originally posted by rosamundi:
I walked round on a broken leg for six weeks.

It was a stress fracture of my tibia, which are tricky things to diagnose at the best of times, and they can't really do anything for them even when you have a diagnosis. I did quite enjoy the four hours of uninterrupted reading time while the nuclear isotope they gave me as part of the bone scan worked its way through me.

I had fractured of 2 vertebrae, T5 and T6, roughly between the shoulderblades. I was merely a complainer for 3 weeks until I had an Xray, then I became really quite disabled with quite a bit of asking family to fetch me things and wait on me. There was about a week where the concept of breaking my back played on me, but I wasn't more disabled before I knew what the injury truly was.
Posts: 11082 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged



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