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» Ship of Fools   » Community discussion   » Heaven   » Dirty little secrets (Page 1)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Dirty little secrets
Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433

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No, no, not like that. I mean we don't want to know if you shagged the bishop or his/her wife. I admit I once confessed on these very boards to peeing on a church, but even that might push the envelope (and the church has been closed since: go figure). No, far more seemly things. Just the terribly unchic, if you get my meaning.

For example, I admit that I drink instant coffee. I even take some away with me when I stay with people. I mean I'm a coffee snob like the best of you, but you know, at three o'clock in the morning when you just want a figgin' hot caffeine fix who cares what it tastes like?

Well, I mean I wouldn't go for powdered caterers' blends, and in fact only allow myself the most expensive brand, which I won't name because it wouldn't do to advertise on the Ship ... but still, it's not the sort of think I'd confess in august circles ... [Disappointed]

Surely you have some dark secret? Your favourite food is roast guinea pig, or you subscribe to Breitbart or whatever ....

Keep it clean, of course. This is heaven. The angels and baby jesus weep in broiken harmony if they hear your sexual peccadiloes here. I don't even want to know if you go commando and all. No wobbly bits in here.

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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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I mix Marmite™ with margarine and a bit of cheese spread. Just the thing with morning tea!

I have been known to eat an entire bag of crunchy cheese sticks in one sitting.

[Hot and Hormonal] Peccavi. Mea culpa.

[spelin]

[ 05. September 2017, 08:06: Message edited by: Uncle Pete ]

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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815

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quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:


Surely you have some dark secret? Your favourite food is roast guinea pig, or you subscribe to Breitbart or whatever ....

IIRC guinea pig is a delicacy in one of the Andean countries. I've been tempted from time to time to make a sort of galantine from a boned and stuffed one, perhaps wrapped in vine leaves. Has anyone tried it?

I once boned and stuffed a rabbit, wrapped it in pancetta and then vine leaves and cooked it on the bbq. Delicious, but the boning was not a task I'd like to repeat, much more difficult than a chicken or duck as the bones were so small and went in contrary directions.

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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican

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Doone
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# 18470

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I am an avid reader and enjoy 'literary' books, both fiction and nonfiction. I also confess to reading a lot of the Cozy Mystery series of books as well, though [Hot and Hormonal] , especially those with quilting or knitting content.
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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Uncle Pete:
I mix Marmite™ with margarine and a bit of cheese spread. Just the thing with morning tea!

I have been known to eat an entire bag of crunchy cheese sticks in one sitting.

[Hot and Hormonal] Peccavi. Mea culpa.

[spelin]

Cheese and marmite improved cheese on toast but marmite, sliced tomato with cheese on top makes an epic toastie.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Marmite with margarine rather than butter? Is outrage!

[ 05. September 2017, 13:05: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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Peanut butter, spinach/lettuce, tomato, hot pepper sandwiches. When fridge is empty, peanut butter and pickle or relish or chutney.
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LutheranChik
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# 9826

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My dirty secret: I pretend to care about (American) college football as much as,my Dear Spouse does. I pay enough attention to the game to make appropriate noises of e,citement or dismay...7when DS says, " Did you see that play? Incredible!" I nod my head vigorously even though I've actually been Facebooking or menu planning orwatching birds outside the window. I also feign interest in the football fortunes of my own alma mater, when it's all I can do to remember the coach's name.

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Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com

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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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I lick the butter of the the knife before dipping it in the marmalade jar. It's only me who likes marmalade.

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Change is the only certainty of existence

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Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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I don't like children.

People think I'm joking when I say it, but it's true, I find them selfish, unpredictable and messy. I much prefer dogs.

Dogs want to please you, Children want to please themselves.

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Garden. Room. Walk

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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I agree with you on all counts, Boogie. Even as a very young child I loved my stuffed toy dogs but had virtually no interest in dolls.

That's not a "dirty little secret" -- anyone who knows me realizes that's the way I am.

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Kaplan Corday
Shipmate
# 16119

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I don't like children either, including adolescents.

Neither did C.S. Lewis, though he believed it was a fault in himself, not in the children, like someone who is tone deaf and can't appreciate music.

I once had a meal with Douglas Gresham (name dropping? you betcha!) who said it certainly wasn't obvious in his childhood relationship with his step-father.

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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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Marmite is not a dirty little secret. Liking it is the sign of one's affiliation with all that is evil and rotten.
The creation, use and promotion of marmite is the unforgivable sin mentioned in the bible.

quote:
Originally posted by Kaplan Corday:
I don't like children either, including adolescents.

Neither did C.S. Lewis, though he believed it was a fault in himself, not in the children, like someone who is tone deaf and can't appreciate music.

He was spot on, the fault is in the adult.

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So goodnight moon, I want the sun
If it's not here soon, I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

- A. N. Parsley, D. Mcvinni

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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I have been known to eat icing out of a can. [Hot and Hormonal]

When I baked cakes long, long ago, I made homemade icing. If I buy a can of it, you can bet it's to be eaten with a spoon.

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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At great personal risk, clearly, I'm going to have to confess I don't like dogs. I hate their wet noses, like they're running constantly. I hate not knowing if one is all bark or is actually a vicious bastard. I hate the way they jump at me when I'm on the bike. I cannot imagine taking a plastic bag of shit back with me from a walk, or having to de-turd the garden before using it for human activities. I hate the way it's acceptable to post 'if you don't love dogs I can't be your friend' memes on Facebook. But most of all I hate the way they want to lick your face, and the way their owners let them. [Projectile]

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Cats are my pet peeve (even though most are not really pets). If they're really pets, keep them in your house. If they need their "freedom," and you insist on letting them wander all over the neighborhood, then they're not pets.

They decimate the populations of native birds and small animals.

And they poop in my yard, especially around any flowers I try to plant! I have to keep my dog in my yard or on a leash (which I would do whether or not it was required). She has to wear a license for identification and to show she's been immunized for rabies (which I would do whether or not it was required). But cats can just wander wherever they want, kill whatever they wish (and often leave the remains for me to find in my yard), and leave me to "de-turd the garden before using it for human activities."

Sorry, this is getting pretty Hellish for Heaven.

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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quote:
Originally posted by Kaplan Corday:
Neither did C.S. Lewis, though he believed it was a fault in himself, not in the children, like someone who is tone deaf and can't appreciate music.

C.S. Lewis said that he didn't like very young children; he appeared to like them after the age of six or so. If he hadn't liked children, I don't think he could have written the Narnia books.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.

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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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I like Pot Noodles, a nasty habit I developed as a teenager coming home from school.

I don't 'get' most modern art. A recent visit to the Tate Modern left me almost entirely cold, and wondering if the world had gone mad. The sandwich in the cafe was nice...

I occasionally binge on trash magazines: Heat, Reveal, etc. I'm so old now I hardly recognize half of the 'celebrities', and I hate the culture that generates the famous-for-being-famous non-entities that populate TV these days. But yet I remain fascinated by their failed plastic surgeries, weight-loss battles and breeding patterns.

Karl's post reminds me that while I'd probably give my life for my dog, I wouldn't let him lick my face. Not that he wants to, thank heaven. The only thing he puts near his mouth is what he thinks is food; and his eating technique involves snatching viciously and quickly in the hope that what ends up in there is actually edible. So long as he can either sick it up or poo it later, he doesn't care much if it isn't. Legacy of being a skin-and-bone rescue, I suppose.

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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
I don't 'get' most modern art. A recent visit to the Tate Modern left me almost entirely cold, and wondering if the world had gone mad. The sandwich in the cafe was nice...

Most of looks to me like the rag the painter used to clean his/her brushes. [Frown]

But the Tate Modern and other London art museums do have lovely cafes. [Smile]

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
At great personal risk, clearly, I'm going to have to confess I don't like dogs. I hate their wet noses, like they're running constantly. I hate not knowing if one is all bark or is actually a vicious bastard. I hate the way they jump at me when I'm on the bike. I cannot imagine taking a plastic bag of shit back with me from a walk, or having to de-turd the garden before using it for human activities. I hate the way it's acceptable to post 'if you don't love dogs I can't be your friend' memes on Facebook. But most of all I hate the way they want to lick your face, and the way their owners let them. [Projectile]

Me too

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Maius intra qua extra

Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box

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Kaplan Corday
Shipmate
# 16119

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quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by Kaplan Corday:
Neither did C.S. Lewis, though he believed it was a fault in himself, not in the children, like someone who is tone deaf and can't appreciate music.

C.S. Lewis said that he didn't like very young children; he appeared to like them after the age of six or so. If he hadn't liked children, I don't think he could have written the Narnia books.

Moo

Not sure whether that follows, but you could be right.

I tend to suspect that he wrote them for himself, and for the select minority of untypical children who were like he was as a child, and that he was surprised by their popularity.

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Kaplan Corday
Shipmate
# 16119

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'm going to have to confess I don't like dogs.

In which case you are going to be miserable in Heaven, which is going to be full of them (according to John Wesley) - apart from Hitler's dog (according to Homer Simpson).

Actually, your anti-dog invective suggests that you are not going to be in Heaven.

[ 05. September 2017, 22:40: Message edited by: Kaplan Corday ]

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Graven Image
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# 8755

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I have been known to hide a candy bar from Mr Image so I do not have to share, and then eat it while he is out of the house.

I also often bring the car home without stopping at the gas station so Mr Image will fill it up.

PS I do love Mr Image but I really like certain candy bars, and I do not like filling the car for the simple reason the pump hurts my hand and the door to the station I find hard to open.

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Stercus Tauri
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# 16668

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Funny that Marmite should keep showing up here. I have been publicly scolded by the estimable Piglet for saying that my ideal breakfast consists of Marmite on Aberdeen butteries (or rowies, if you prefer), so I suppose it isn't a dirty little secret any more. But I do recommend it.

Another one. I've been told that mental calculations are good for keeping the last few working brain cells alive. I have found ample time for this during the less inspiring sermons lately.

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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)

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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433

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... and how do I confess on so illustrious a website, surrounded by aficionadi of Taverner and I dunno, Tallis and whatever other dudes scrwled spiders' footprints on fence wire, that I love (much, not all) country music [Ultra confused]

I'm sorry. [Hot and Hormonal]

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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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Z--

Check out singer Rhiannon Giddens. I saw her on "Infinity Hall Live". Singing, banjo, violin. Much roots music. And she has quite a stage presence.
[Cool]

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

Posts: 17561 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Rhiannon Giddens is curating Cambridge Folk Festival next year.

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Thanks, CK. Interesting.

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

Posts: 17561 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
At great personal risk, clearly, I'm going to have to confess I don't like dogs.

*shock*

Just shows, you never really know people in forums until you ask the really important questions about deepest secrets.

*strikes Karl off invitation list*

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Garden. Room. Walk

Posts: 12470 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Kaplan Corday:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'm going to have to confess I don't like dogs.

In which case you are going to be miserable in Heaven, which is going to be full of them (according to John Wesley) - apart from Hitler's dog (according to Homer Simpson).

Actually, your anti-dog invective suggests that you are not going to be in Heaven.

I'm already relying on Jesus' words that everything bar the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be forgiven a man, and trust that there will be a corner of heaven where dogs are friendly, have dry noses, not lick, will play fetch for a few minutes, then go away and be someone else's problem, just for kitten and me.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815

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Kitten?? In heaven?? Don't you know that cats are Satan's own creatures and that Heaven will be mercifully free of them.

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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican

Posts: 6573 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Surely in the many rooms in Heaven there will be space for different rooms for those who are exclusively dog lovers or cat lovers

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815

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To be a cat lover is akin to living the unforgivable sin. Dogs and their carers will be welcomed with open arms though - both dogs and their carers having already proven their fidelity.

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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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By kitten I meant the poster of the same name, but heaven will be full of cats anyway because they'll just whine until they're let in. It's interesting though isn't it how confessing to not liking children is fine but not liking dogs gets people responding...

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17426 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Higgs Bosun
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# 16582

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
By kitten I meant the poster of the same name, but heaven will be full of cats anyway because they'll just whine until they're let in. It's interesting though isn't it how confessing to not liking children is fine but not liking dogs gets people responding...

Once inside they will go to the pearly gates, wait for them to be opened, look outside for a couple of minutes, and decide to stay. St Pete sighs, and closes the gates again.

My dark secret is eating a whole packet of Jaffa Cakes in a few minutes.

Posts: 259 | From: Near the Tidal Thames | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
... and how do I confess on so illustrious a website, surrounded by aficionadi of Taverner and I dunno, Tallis and whatever other dudes scrwled spiders' footprints on fence wire, that I love (much, not all) country music [Ultra confused]

I'm sorry. [Hot and Hormonal]

Hey, me too!! I love much old and new polyphonic church music, and your basic classic choral repertoire. But I also love classic Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash et al. As well as a lot of the newer stuff, that is still recognizably of the genre.

Tex Ritter's 'Blood on the saddle' will always have a special place in my heart. [Big Grin]

[ 06. September 2017, 11:07: Message edited by: Anselmina ]

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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!

Posts: 9925 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Around here it is not a dirty little secret to admit loving mountain music, especially that of Ralph Stanley, who recently died.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.

Posts: 20105 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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This is a real Dirty Little Secret in Ship circles, but choral music leaves me cold. I have sat through many a choir concert either reading, or (in more recent years) playing games on my phone, if either of these activities can be done without annoying or distracting others. Or just dozing off, as once during a performance of the Messiah that all my musical friends were wildly excited about it college. I sat at the end of the pew where everyone had piled their coats, and only woke up whenever a particular high, shrill note was hit.

As for the not-liking-children thing -- I don't really get babies and toddlers. I liked my OWN kids when they were that age, and tolerated the children of my friends during the same period, but I do not get the oohing and aahing over babies. My classroom is near the front office at work and every so often I can hear someone come in and a bunch of high-pitched squealing erupt and people come from all over the corridor to ogle the thing that's just been brought in. When this happens I always say to my students, "Someone's just come in with either a baby or a puppy ... I hope it's a puppy."

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Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

Posts: 7330 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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I enjoy performing it, but I can't imagine sitting and listening to it. Twenty minutes of repetition of an obscure line from the Gloria just doesn't excite me.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17426 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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On the dogs thing, at the risk of digging a deeper hole, part of the problem for me is that I don't get this cute thing with dogs. I see so many pictures of "my beautiful boy" or "this gorgeous girl" and I just see a flat face and slobber. But I've always been badly grossed out by (even typing this I'm inwardly going "ick, ick, ick!") - urgh - [i]saliva[/]i - even human. Never mind canine.

They just aren't cute. No, not even puppies.

I'll happily play fetch with a dog for half an hour. But it's all that goes with them, as aforementioned, that I couldn't be doing with.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17426 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
I don't really get babies and toddlers. I liked my OWN kids when they were that age, and tolerated the children of my friends during the same period, but I do not get the oohing and aahing over babies.

No, I agree, they're much more interesting when they're a wee bit older.
Posts: 9132 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
I love (much, not all) country music [Ultra confused]

I'm sorry. [Hot and Hormonal]

And so you should be! I wonder what penance we could prescribe? Listening to Stockhausen or Boulez, perhaps. Or there's always aversion therapy ...
Posts: 9132 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
I love (much, not all) country music [Ultra confused]

I'm sorry. [Hot and Hormonal]

And so you should be! I wonder what penance we could prescribe? Listening to Stockhausen or Boulez, perhaps. Or there's always aversion therapy ...
Oh leave the lad alone. I'd be much more concerned about someone being into hip-hop.

Never understood how the otherwise musically wise John Peel found anything to like about that.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17426 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
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# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I'd be much more concerned about someone being into hip-hop.

Be concerned, be very concerned. Liking hip-hop is not dirty.
In seriousness, I do think the average age is a factor in the Ship's General aversion. And proof that the Ship doesn't list to port in everything.
quote:

Never understood how the otherwise musically wise John Peel found anything to like about that.

Because hip-hop has every quality of any other pop music category. You. Yes, you, are likely not versed in the many variations.
I hate country music. However, having reluctantly heard quite a lot, there are artists who have tranceded that and I like. Well, at least a song or two. (my Dirty Little Secret)More importantly, even that which I still do not care for, I better understand why some might.
I still say most of it is dreadful, but acknowledge that it is possible for some of it to be listenable.

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So goodnight moon, I want the sun
If it's not here soon, I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

- A. N. Parsley, D. Mcvinni

Posts: 16533 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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No, but it's a bit like fish innit? I've tried quite a few and hated all of them, so knowing that I loathe 100% of the types I've ever tried, I'm not inclined to run around trying all the rest in the unlikely event that there's one that bucks the trend.

Ditto Rap and any other music likely to be played far too loud on a car stereo (Karl's First Law of Car Stereos - 'The volume of music on a car stereo is in inverse proportion to its quality')

Country? Take it or leave it, prefer to do the latter, prefer it to the chart shite they insist on playing loudly at places like bowling alleys.

/Grumpy old man

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17426 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Oh leave the lad alone.

BT retreats, somewhat abashed, but resolute in his dislike of country music.
Posts: 9132 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
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# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
No, but it's a bit like fish innit?

Actually, it isn't. I hate fish as well, but it is the basic quality, the underlying taste that I hate.
If you think this is why you hate hip-hop, the you do not know hip-hop. The varying styles do not have the same underlying quality, so much as a superficial relationship.
Just as there is a big difference between the Big Bopper and Nine Inch Nails, so to amongst hip-hop artists.

That said, like what you like. My point is that dislike is often more from ignorance than familiarity.

Enough of this tangent, though.I am contemplating a hip-hop thread, but I fear it will just be me and, perhaps Og, King of Bashan.

--------------------
So goodnight moon, I want the sun
If it's not here soon, I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

- A. N. Parsley, D. Mcvinni

Posts: 16533 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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I reply to trolls on facebook threads. Although I like to reply to them not in kind, but rather with respect and reason. They never reply back, though.

I know it's a waste of time, but it does feel like it injects some dignity into a thread that's just full of people tossing insults at each other. I suppose I could claim it as holy folly?

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7634 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Dirty secrets--I DO like hip hop. But then, there isn't much I don't like musically.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19956 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Huia
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# 3473

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I am hooked on J.D Robb's In Death series. They are junk reading, the writing is slick, the sex scenes repetitive (besides I don't think sex is a spectator sport), and the characters are predictable, but everytime a new one comes into the library I borrow it.

I am not so far gone as to pay good money for them though.

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

Posts: 9963 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged



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