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Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
Jengie Jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Chesterbelloc tells life how it is:
quote:
Originally posted by Chesterbelloc:
The truth is what is, Leo - and before it sets you free it may embarrass the living shit out of you, but.

You can see it here in Styx.

Jengie

[Codefix. -AA, Host]

[ 13. August 2011, 22:22: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
my blog and thesis progress

Posts: 18827 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Teeheeheeheehee

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Love this hell thread, people grabbing the spotlight one after another. It's sort of like Hell Idol.



--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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In Eccles, Angloid makes this splendid observation about the church year:

quote:
I always breathe a big sigh of relief when Ordinary Time comes round. Easter is magnificent. So is champagne. But we appreciate it more because of the contrast with vin ordinaire.


--------------------
now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened

Posts: 18892 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chelley

Ship's Old Boot
# 11322

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Hole in one from Wood:

quote:
Originally posted by Wood:
quote:
Originally posted by Chelley:
It seems to me that it's about trying to live out both 'loving God with heart, soul, mind and strength' and 'loving your neighbour as yourself' when some are most focused on the first to the detriment of the second and the other on the second to the detriment of the first.

You mean they're different?
[ [Big Grin] Lamb Chopped]
Late discovery that I fed a line to Wood!
Like standing by the shark pool and holding up a little fish while waiting for Jaws to grab it, hoping the famous shark doesn't take your arm off in the process!

--------------------
"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"

Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who

Posts: 2846 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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newbie dunkduffel shows promise in hell:
quote:
As I pulled away from the traffic lights in Lower Broughton (Salford), I came under ruthless attack from feral children.
terrible. people think they're cute and take them home, but they get big and hard to manage and they're just dropped off in suburbia. once they're allowed to go feral, they pack up. roam the streets. get into your trash. howl at the moon. eat the neighborhood cats. shit in your yard. someone call animal control!

[ 15. August 2011, 21:13: Message edited by: comet ]

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16856 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by Chelley:
Like standing by the shark pool and holding up a little fish while waiting for Jaws to grab it, hoping the famous shark doesn't take your arm off in the process!

I read that as waiting for Jews to grab it. more coffee is called for.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16856 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Chelley

Ship's Old Boot
# 11322

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
quote:
Originally posted by Chelley:
Like standing by the shark pool and holding up a little fish while waiting for Jaws to grab it, hoping the famous shark doesn't take your arm off in the process!

I read that as waiting for Jews to grab it. more coffee is called for.
My fault for picking a fish... if I'd said 'holding up pork' you'd have known it wasn't Jews!

--------------------
"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"

Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who

Posts: 2846 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Chelley:
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
quote:
Originally posted by Chelley:
Like standing by the shark pool and holding up a little fish while waiting for Jaws to grab it, hoping the famous shark doesn't take your arm off in the process!

I read that as waiting for Jews to grab it. more coffee is called for.
My fault for picking a fish... if I'd said 'holding up pork' you'd have known it wasn't Jews!
Not good Jews, anyway. Naughty ones.

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God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. --Acts 10:28

Posts: 56108 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Curiosity killed got to do something lilBuddha would have liked to do, and lilBuddha apologized for being envious, sort of:

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Please do not be offended, but I am obligated to hate you for this.



--------------------
God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. --Acts 10:28

Posts: 56108 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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Patdys (in hell) for all who sometimes get too earnest -



quote:
Dear Mousethief. I look forward to the day when you appreciate that others may play with words and ideas for fun.

That in some cultures, gentle jibing can be constructive and a way of saying; I like this community or person. I have a vision that you may start to look at other people and consider that they may have good intentions and are not trying to be nasty or derogatory.

I can see a world in which you, Mousethief, can see puppies and not worry about chewed furniture or mess on your shoe. Don't be a victim of a sick society Mousethief.

Embrace your fluffy bunny.

Hold onto your dreams.

And remember that every pool of yellow snow once started life as a cold beer, a warm fire and a jovial evening.



Boogie <>< embracing fluffy bunnies

[Big Grin]

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365

Posts: 9226 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Joan Knox, in heaven, telling us all what makes summer so wonderful:

...wearing a light summer jumper while sitting in front of the lit fireplace, looking outside at the darkness of the sky caused by heavy, threatening clouds emptying their contents on waves of tourists in what would be summer-appropriate clothing anywhere else on this planet.

...hot chocolate in hand, listening as the cats sniff in utter disdain at the very idea of going outside. Somewhere in the distance, the forlorn cry of a lone seagull expressing its dismay at the dismal murk of a summer's day at Edinburgh's sea-side - the sort of summer only Leonard Cohen could love.


AG

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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 2520 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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As a thread devolves into a debate about St. Mary's hymen, Zach84 has a crisis of faith:
quote:
I think any belief in a just universe must be dispelled by the fact that a hell call for Mousethief has somehow turned into a debate about some dame's bajingo.



[ 19. August 2011, 05:13: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Originally posted by Lamb Chopped in Hell, about a very vexing person and situation:

quote:
Expletives fail me.


[ 22. August 2011, 15:32: Message edited by: mousethief ]

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God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. --Acts 10:28

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Quite long, but a masterpiece of sarcasm that I felt needed to be archived:

quote:
Originally posted by Apocalypso:
The Big Boondoggle

It’s 2004, and Barry Obama has made a hit speech at the Democratic Convention. “Hmmm. That went well. Maybe I should run for President,” he thinks. But he has a problem: he’s not a native-born US citizen and can’t serve in this office under the US Constitution.

He was actually born in a cab en route to the hospital. As the cab was jointly-owned and operated by a northern Finnish national with a green card and an ex-Swiss guard without papers, both with limited knowledge of English, Obama was technically born on foreign ground.

Fortunately for Obama, both Finn and Switzer have long since passed to their rewards (Hmmm . . . don’t you wonder what really happened to them?) and can’t testify to Obama’s Laplander/Vatican connections, either in Saami or Italian. Or French. Or German. As his mother has also departed this life (Hmmm . . . don’t you wonder what really happened to her?), she cannot testify to the fact that, as she was only 13 at the time, she had no way of conferring her citizenship upon young Barry. Everybody knows that all 13-year-olds are utterly stateless and are capable of conferring nothing but eye-rolls.

Obviously, what Obama needed, at his then-ripe-old age of 43, was a valid birth certificate. His cleverness in avoiding the need for such documentation previously – in enrolling in public school, in getting part-time jobs, in securing a driver’s license, in applying to college, in being awarded financial aid, in registering to vote, in receiving a US passport, in pursuing graduate school, in acquiring a marriage license, in getting admitted to the bar, in being hired to teach Constitutional law, in serving as a senator from Illinois – would not help him now, even though he managed to do all these things without a shred of proof of citizenship of any country whatsoever.

What to do, what to do? To run for President, he was going to have to create some kind of proof of a US birth. And he was going to need help.

Where should the alleged birth have taken place? Either Alaska or Hawaii, as the two states most recently admitted to the Union – that should appeal to the “young” crowd, right? On further investigation, Alaska – known until 1867 as Russian America – had obvious connotation problems. So Hawaii, thousands of miles off shore, expensive to get to, and with a cost-of-living sure to discourage in-the-flesh investigations, was the obvious choice. Besides, Hawaii was far more reliably Democratic in its politics than red-tinged Alaska.

So for the next 4 years, Obama – careful to use trusted intermediaries to protect his identity and conceal his direct involvement – hunts down an expert forger and a highly-successful thief. The operation is going to have three parts: first, the thief will break in to Hawaii’s central records office and secure several blank Hawaii short-form birth certs, smuggling them out to Obama’s associate, who will get them to Obama.

Second, Obama will pass the blanks on to another associate, who will get them to an expert forger. The forger will do the dirty deed, getting them back to the second associate, who will get them back to Obama, who will pass the best one on to Associate # 1, who will get it to the thief.

Third, the thief will cleverly insert this paper short-form into the appropriate slot in the bound books of short-form birth certs (hoping, obviously, that clerks will fail to notice that its number is out-of-sequence), and then cleverly create a microfiche backup somewhere not too far from the appropriate space in its vast cache of microfilmed copies (again, hoping everybody somehow fails to notice that it’s wildly out-of-place in the rolls – a fact which will also render the record virtually impossible to locate and call up, should the need ever arise. But hey: needs must when the devil drives, right?).

Fast-forward to 2008, when “questions” about Obama’s “citizenship” arise. I mean, seriously: can a guy with a name and complexion and father like that be a Real Ammurrik’n?

Presto! The short form gets posted on Obama’s website. Why has it taken until October? The clerks in Hawaii’s records dept., as predicted, cannot, despite arduous months of searching, locate Obama’s record in their microfilm files, and launch a search of their old paper records, all bound into volumes. They find the results of the thief’s and forger’s handiwork, photocopy it, mail it to Obama, and simples: there it is.

Of course it looks photoshopped. The thing was copied on the Hawaii state records department’s photocopier, obtained, as per all state contracts, from the lowest bidder.

Now, of course, Obama has another problem: what’s he going to do about all these people who are privy to various aspects of his plan? It would take a really dumb thief and forger, to say nothing of the “associates” who found them, not to realize they were sitting on Hugely Valuable Information.

What does Obama do now? (And why haven’t any of this crowd come forward? I mean, can you imagine the bazillions to be made off best-seller-turned-screenplay “I Forged Obama’s Birth Certificate?” Hmmm . . . don’t you wonder what really happened to them?) You guessed it: they’ve all been quietly offed, and nobody in the media has even noticed, too busy with debt-ceiling trivia to bother.

Obama now has to find more associates, clever thieves and forgers, and get Hawaii to change its law (because, of course, Presidents can do anything, which accounts for the O’s astounding track record in getting all his legislation passed and all his appointees approved), that’s why it takes so long to post the long-form cert.

Now, of course, there’s another round of mysterious disappearances due, so we can wonder, Hmmm . . . what do you suppose really happened to them?



[ 23. August 2011, 10:47: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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This from Dyfrig made me laugh. I can't wait for Greenbelt:

quote:
Originally posted by Dyfrig:
I will be the one in the Papua New Guinea baseball cap.

I understand this information is only useful to people who know what the PNG flag looks like (so I'm guessing only ken). But I share it in case anyone might want to accost me.

I, of course, will not see you.



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"I'm not drunk, I'm just avoiding the potholes" (Glasgow bumper sticker)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5349 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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From Jengie Jon, re the hurricane:

quote:
AS a friend says "It was the sort of weather where only the frail old ladies made it to church".




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Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 15602 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
marsupial.
Shipmate
# 12458

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Dafyd in Dead Horses:

quote:
The greatest love is to lay down our lives for our friends, indeed, but there is no reason to suppose it commendable for us to ask our friends to lay down their lives for nobody in particular.

Posts: 617 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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These words from Lamb Chopped, in Heaven, ring so true:

I love the church. Even though I hate it sometimes.

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You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881

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Originally posted by Ender's Shadow:

... being 'a slave to sin' does have its perks ...

I think I'll get that on a T-shirt. OliviaG

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Life is a journey, not a guilt trip.

Posts: 4390 | From: Caprica City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Adeodatus, on the Earthquake thread in purg:

I have a problem with the concept of God as an incompetent and lazy central heating engineer.

'And on the fifth day, he surveyed the universe while displaying his arse-crack above his saggy jeans, scratched his head and said, "Crikey, guv, you've had some cowboys in here ..."'



--------------------
You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Comet on the state of humanity:

yes, yes. People suck. I keep telling you all this.

The more I learn, the more convinced I am. We may have cars and computers and organic fair-trade dark chocolate covered espresso beans, but we're still just a bunch of fuckmonkeys who deserve to have our collective intestines pulled out through our nostrils and draped over the trees to give the squirrels superhighways. It's all we're good for.



(And some people have the cheek to query why we call ourselves 'miserable sinners' at prayerbook Evensong??!)

--------------------
You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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Yorick -

Martin, what are your thoughts about Luschenn’s Paradox with respect to the decoherence bias of wave functionality in a time irreversible quantum system? As I understand it, the Schrödinger post-measurement state is partially stochastic in collapsing thermodynamic macroscopic ningnongs, but what about the fluoby-dooby wombum blah blah? Is it possible that God is, will be, never was intrinsically, parsimoniously choate?

Amen to that!

[Big Grin]

--------------------
365

Posts: 9226 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Flausa on her marathon success:

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Flausa, you're a HUGE, HUGE STAR!!!


"Not as HUGE as I used to be I think I left another pound of flesh on the pavement yesterday."

--------------------
You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Eutychus on the Willow Creek thread:

Pxy_e, I have to say that when I clicked on this thread seeing your name on it, I never expected to read the content in your posts here. It was like a (bracing) slap in the face.

You willingness to engage in and learn from a church culture which, from what I know of you on here, is about as far removed from yours as can be imagined, is a real challenge and a lesson in humility

Slaps in the face like that are what make the Ship worthwhile.


--------------------
You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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I loved that, too, but wasn't sure whether to quote Pyx_e of Eutychus.

--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
Normally at this point, I'd expect a dawning realisation that this is a question so dense that it's collapsing under its own gravity, but as it's you, I'll be standing by with the cluebat.



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Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 15602 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lucia

Looking for light
# 15201

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Timothy the Obscure trying to not be obscure but not quite succeeding on the "Whatever happened to usury" thread.

Clear? No, probably not... I'm sure I stuffed something up in there--it's hard to think about this stuff without feeling as you're trying to lay out a bowl of spaghetti in neat parallel lines.

Posts: 831 | From: Northerly point near the sea | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Gamaliel tells it like it is:

I've heard plenty of people around here say that they wouldn't go anywhere near our parish church because people raise their hands in worship and sing contemporary choruses. Yet our vicar is still convinced of its evangelistic appeal.

These same people don't go to the more traditional worship services in town either.

Whatever style of worship was used they wouldn't be that bothered as long as they could attend a carol service once a year.



--------------------
You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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You're a really funny guy, Anselm.
[On speculation that "the valley of the shadow" was an actual valley]:
quote:
Originally posted by Anselm:
Oooh - I know this valley!
The entrance to the valley is so narrow that camels have to be unloaded to get in and it was called the Eye of the Needle.

And every now and then a tree from the hills above would fall, blocking the entrance and creating what was known as "a log in the Eye".

Of course historically the valley was owned by Abdul Ben Omar Sin who, legend tells, used to pay his workers with plots of land in the valley. Hence the old saying, "the wages of Sin are death".



[ 09. September 2011, 05:55: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Persephone Hazard

Ship's Wench
# 4648

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From Purg:

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
A while back I learned something-- an actual fact of science-- that created a big shift in spiritual thought for me.

It's this-- we are the only animal on the planet that can choke to death by mis-swallowing.

Why? Because our entire jaw, tongue, and larynx developed to be capable of speech. We lost physical traits that theoretically are vital for survival-- a pelt, claws, fangs, many survival instincts- and in return we got this wonky throat configuration and opposable thumbs. And a gigantic, highly developed cerebral cortex.

At the time I was working at a very evo-ish afterschool care and was talking to a guy who was leading a series of lectures picking at evolution. I let him say his piece. Then I brought up that fact and asked him what it said to him.
He blinked"Ah! It says that evolution is flawed, unless God designed..."

I shook my head. "To me it says, whether you believe in God or evolution, that communication is worth dying for."

That's the starting point, but I have a lot to work out. In short-- I think your story is important. I think my story is important. I think our stories collide and change each other's. I think that Holy Books relate the process of the collision and reforming of stories. I think life is about figuring yourself out and figuring others out-- and I suspect this is a bootcamp for something that comes after.

[Overused]

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A picture is worth a thousand words, but it's a lot easier to make up a thousand words than one decent picture. - ken.

Posts: 1642 | From: London | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Alwyn
Shipmate
# 4380

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quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
...yet another argument for why the social safety net will need to be shredded...

No, no, no! It is the social safety net. You can raise a huge Great War style citizen army of the poor and unemployed, stick them in cheap khaki uniforms, pay them a pittance, and send them to Asia to shoot or be shot. Its the Modern Way of unemployment insurance.

quote:

Not like the brazen giant of French fame,
With outstretched lamp astride old Bedloe's Island;
Here at our sea-washed recruiting station shall stand
A mighty woman with a gun, whose flame
Is the vengeful lightning, and her name
Mother of Armies. From her shooting hand
Grows War Against Terror; her stern eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that Twin Towers framed.
"Keep, United States, your Business Class!" cries she
With sergeant's lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
To Basic Training on the parade-ground floor!"

(with apologies to Emma Lazarus)



--------------------
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc
Stop the Traffik

Posts: 759 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The problem with public nudism is that it's mostly the wrong people who want to practice it. I wish it were illegal for anyone past puberty to go shirtless in public. For every Adonis going around without a shirt there are 10 guys blissfully unaware that their variously unattractive torsos are a blight upon the landscape.

[Killing me]

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"From the very first gold medal I won in 1939, my mama used to stress being humble. The people you pass on the ladder will be the same people you’ll be with when the ladder comes down." –Alice Coachman Davis

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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267

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An entertaining musical interlude in Eccles during a discussion of what is 'bread'.

quote:
Originally posted by Leaf:
quote:
Originally posted by Zach82:
You know, communion bread bakers, God can see you adding sugar, oil, or non-wheat flour to communion bread. Think about it.

Zach

He sees you when you're sleeping.
He know when you're awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good, for goodness sake!



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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account

Posts: 10280 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Even in the depths of Hell, A gem is found:

quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
I think the shovelling Tortuf was referring to was shovelling shit. That's what you do, very well, Evensnot, superbly.

And that's not a compliment.

quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Well here's where you're wrong Pete. Shovelling shit can only be a Good Thing seeing as how the person doing it is usually cleaning out some kind of toilet or animal stall for the Well Being and Healthy Preservation of All Good People and Animals.

Or, occasionally, one can shovel shit for three months as I once did in Colombia, South America, when collecting fresh cowpats for the production of a methane gas biodigester. Again, this is only a Good Thing.

So to be told one is a superb shit shoveler can really only be taken as a compliment.

So thanks PeteC. You hide it well, but I know you like me. And I love you too. [Angel]



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"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Comet on the 'Bend the minister's ear' thread:

No matter how wonderful, serene, god-like, and unflappable we think we are (or we think we have to be) everybody needs to break some crockery sometimes. And while God may be a great listener, He's not very good at sitting over a cuppa and telling you that you're not an emotional basketcase, Mrs. M. really is batshit crazy and Mr. G. really does look like a bulldog who's been run over by a tank.

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You're too late!

Posts: 33976 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Concise truth is always a glorious thing.
quote:
Originally posted by Balaam:

Anyway, a poor Doctor Who episode is still better than most things on the TV. (Big Bang Theory excepted.)



[ 18. September 2011, 22:11: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

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"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
OhSimone
Shipmate
# 16414

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LutheranChik invents my new favourite insult:
quote:
moonbats
Amazing.
Posts: 198 | From: The Black Country | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged
Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Scona, bless your pea-pickin' little heart! Sometimes I run down the Ship's stairs just to see what's happening, and lo and behold there's a show in Hell!

I see you in my mind's eye, bunny fur all puffed out to make you look big, moral authority just oozing out of your pores. If you take those nice blinders off, you'll see you are pretty much surrounded by large, scary bunny eaters who are being remarkably restrained.

Restraint only lasts so long.



--------------------
Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account

Posts: 10280 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Molopata The Rebel:
quote:
Originally posted by 205:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Beaswax Altar OTOH, is just a dick.

Why do you hate dicks?
Well in all fairness, he didn't say he did.
(Rimshot)

--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Loveheart

Blue-scarved menace
# 12249

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Anyone who attacks their minister for languaqe--and such mild language! has way too little work to do. No doubt the command in her Bible read "Go into all the world and pick holes in your fellow Christians, because they'll know you are Christians by your hate."

[Overused] worthy a mention, I thought.

(ETA, from the profanity thread in Hell)

[ 25. September 2011, 08:42: Message edited by: Loveheart ]

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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Lamb Chopped's been on a roll lately. Here she is in Hell, holding forth on disagreeable toilets:

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Shutting the fucking lid will do you no good if there is still a half-inch gap between the lid/seat assembly and the bowl. And even then, the moment you open the lid it'll come boiling up and smack you in the face.

Set the whole thing down to the unfortunate effecs of the Fall, and use your toilet time to muse on theology.



--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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[Hot and Hormonal] [Big Grin]

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Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 15602 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267

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quote:
Originally posted by kankucho:
‘Love your enemy’ isn’t a demand: it’s a party invitation.



[ 28. September 2011, 03:51: Message edited by: Spiffy ]

--------------------
Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account

Posts: 10280 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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Hope kankucho doesn't mind, but I'm pinching that!

[ 28. September 2011, 05:28: Message edited by: Gill H ]

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In memoriam Erin Etheredge, 8 May 1971 - 30 December 2010. May her memory be eternal.

Posts: 8923 | From: London | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Earwig

Pincered Beastie
# 12057

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On the Margaret Barker and Temple Theology thread in Purg, ken does it again:

quote:
Originally posted by ken:
Caveat: if you know a priest or other minister who is liable to fall for fads - you know the sort of thing, Taize this week, the Liturgy of St James the next, a little touch of Iona on Thursdays, the Toronto Blessing for six months then Alpha courses for a couple of years; Sunday mornigns alternating between BCP Morning Prayer morphed into hymns sandwich and a full-blown Anglo-Catholic High Mass with a choir of eunuchs and a gold-plated altar the size of Mount Sinai; evenings full of alt.1980s prayer stations with video loops of bored Tuareg warriors driving buses through Belfast being projected onto vases full of dead flowers - you know hwo I mean - especially if they come from the caricature Liberal Protestant raisin-cake-eating end if things - well do all you possibly can to keep such a flighty person away from Margaret Barker.



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I blog about embroidering, printmaking, weaving & other adventures as Sister Twisty.

Posts: 3102 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
piglet
Islander
# 11803

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From the Steve Jobs thread in Heaven:

In response to this from IngoB:

quote:
The Great Whatever will now be re-branded as iGod, I'm sure.
Suze replied:

quote:
The great iAM perhaps?
[Killing me]

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Elspeth
=======
alto n a soprano who can read music.
You can talk to God in any language, but He prefers Latin or Cranmer's matchless prose.

Posts: 10826 | From: St. John's, Newfoundland | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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To a query about the Ship selling poll results:

quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:
Spammers? Where! We want 'em dead! The 3¢ we'd make from that wouldn't be worth the moral shame, nor the extra H&A work we'd get having to delete "Enlarge Your Apocrypha" posts.



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Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 15602 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by Leaf:
Case in point: Catullus 16, which has "the filthiest first line ever written in Latin - or any other language, for that matter."

One person's "filthiest first line ever written" is another person's recipe for a really hot date.

So I've read.

[Big Grin] Ah, Sine, Sine!

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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams

Posts: 19470 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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Adeodatus describes a jazz club that only too many of us have known...

quote:
One of those places where the whisky is served straight, not on the rocks. And you're having another, just to forget. And the barman would listen to your story, if only he hadn't heard a dozen others already tonight. And the guy/gal in the corner has been looking at you, but you're thinking, "Not tonight, honey, not tonight. Tonight I just need the whisky and the rain outside and the wet pavements reflecting the streetlight as I walk home alone, and this sweet music that goes straight to my heart."


--------------------
That one last shot's a permanent vacation
and how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey, not a destination
and you just can't tell just what tomorrow brings.

Posts: 27184 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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When a shipmate talks about being judged by another Christian, Lamb Chopped comes down on the side of the angels:

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Angel Wrestler, I keep coming back to that verse in Romans 14. You might want to throw it at anyone who starts trying to remake you in their own wished-for image:

quote:
Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of Another? It is before his own Master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.


Alternately, tell them to fuck off.


--------------------
"Our continues existence depends on just how angry you can get."
Larry Kramer

Posts: 29468 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged



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