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Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by The Silent Acolyte:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by Beeswax Altar:
Atheists gave us Communism.

As soundbites go, that's one of the bite-ier ones.
Sine Nomine, is that bite-y as in "Bite me!"? Or, bite-y as in "that gives me something to chew on"?
I was thinking more along the lines of 'The Fox News Network Award for Gross Oversimplification'.
Not a word to add to that. [Overused]

--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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Triple Tiara

Ship's Papabile
# 9556

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Anselmina in Ecclesiantics:

quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
quote:
Originally posted by Unjust Stuart:
quote:
What next? An ordained only toilet?
At least one English cathedral used to have one of these.
For the use of clergy arseholes only? [Big Grin]


--------------------
I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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It's probably just my affection for the two guys involved that provokes this, but this was too cute for me not to preserve:

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

Liaisons Dangereuses

French girls are easy.

The Scarlet Letter

Puritan girls are easy.

Don Juan

All girls are easy.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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In a thread full of speculation, Jahlove hits on something quite plausible:

quote:
Originally posted by Jahlove:
What will God say to Dolly Parton?

"Sonny and I LOVE the collaborations with Ladysmith Black Mambazo; The Paraclete, however, is a diehard C&W purist. Thou hast occasioned discord and missteps in the perichoretic dance*. We shall decide the penalty in approximately 1000 years. Meanwhile, could you do *Knockin' on Heaven's Door* for us please?"



[ 30. October 2011, 03:31: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Pete C appears to be sufffering from dangerous vegetables, and is showing a magnificent degree of incomprehension.

Following on your Hostly recommendation, I bought an artichoke this morning. It is sitting staring at me balefully.

What the fuck do I do with it?

[Help]


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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 2577 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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This was rather well-crafted.

quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
You know, usually I find great joy in reading Shipmate's fascinating thoughts, and even in occasionally, but quite carefully and timidly, adding my voice to the conversation.
But this thread summons up black dogs in great howling packs, with its discussion on butt-wiping aboard British trains where abstinence does not prevent pregnancy and random breeders overpopulate the planet.

The delight to the senses here is somewhat similar to that moment when someone emits a great and sour fart into a crowded room whose atmosphere is already clogged with great stinking clouds of marijuana smoke, yet you have no choice but to sit there and breathe it all in, because you forgot which room you left your clothes in, and most of the bedroom doors are locked from the inside just at the moment anyhow.

I think I will shut down my computer, and go for a long walk outside, even though it is quite cold and raining buckets just at the moment.
Or I could just read one of my Larry McMurtry novels for the same effect.
Texasville ought to do it; it makes me joyfully happy that I have never met any of his novel's characters, while still being annoyed that I ever wasted my time reading about them.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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Chelley

Ship's Old Boot
# 11322

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Marvin providing clarity regarding hell in the Styx:

quote:
Better to have one well-defined cesspool than to have the whole place covered in crap.
Sums it up nicely!

--------------------
"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"

Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who

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Vulpior

Foxier than Thou
# 12744

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This absolute beauty came from RooK in Hell. His way with insults is inspired:

quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
quote:
Originally posted by Scona:
I have drawn out and exposed some real closed minded bigots.

I dare you to specify whom, and to clarify exactly what they are closed-minded about. You tap-dancing little chickenfuck.


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I've started blogging. I don't promise you'll find anything to interest you at uncleconrad

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Four posts and already in the quotes file. Is that a record of some sort?


quote:
Originally posted by Orwell:
quote:
Originally posted by Beeswax Altar:
[Roll Eyes]

Brilliant argument. You are surely at the pinnacle of mental prowess. I cannot believe I did not think that way earlier. Thank you so much for enlightening me with your magnificence! [Disappointed]


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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Okay, the LC paraphrase of Cranmer's deathless prose; being combin'd with Notes upon the Chaynge of Meaning over the Centuries, Together with an Exposicion of the many Shameless but totally Lawful Wayes Cranmer manipulates God Almighty by Leveraging His Owne Promises agaynst Him:

Almighty and most merciful [note that phrase, please. It is not empty flattery, rather a statement of sure hope!] Father,

We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep, [well gee, this is fairly kind, putting down our screw-ups not to deliberate wickedness but to sheepiness. I'm not sure I deserve such leeway much of the time, but let it pass]

We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts, [durrrrr]

We have offended against thy holy laws,

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, [ouch. Yes]

And we have done those things which we ought not to have done, [ouch again, but it's also true]

And there is no health [= wholeness, shalom] in us: [modern paraphrase: we haven't got a leg to stand on, and we aren't going to be able to get out of our mess by our own efforts]

But thou, O Lord, have mercy [as you surely will, see the opening of this prayer!]

upon us miserable [ = in a state that calls for pity and compassion, whether we ourselves think so at the moment or not]

offenders [= lawless ones];

Spare thou them [aka "us"], O God, which confess their faults, [meaning us, Lord, in case Cranmer's syntax has gotten too convoluted!]

Restore thou them that are penitent, [that's us again, see, Lord!? right here waiting for your mercy, we're all ready here]

According to thy promises [gotcha there, Lord]

declared unto mankind in Christ Jesu our Lord: [Ha! it's in the bag. Thank God]

And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake, [just to re-emphasize, it's all about Jesus, Lord, you know the one you promised to forgive us for? We're holding you to it, and we're saying it twice in two lines just to be sure you get it. [Biased] ]

That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober [ = no longer completely off our heads and out of touch with reality] life,

To the glory of thy holy Name. [which is another thing you've been banging on about in the Bible as important to you, and see, forgiving us will do that! ]

Amen. [signed, sealed, delivered--it's ours. Thanks.]



--------------------
Ken

L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.

Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Martin L's revision of a bishop's consecration:
quote:
If I were to be given carte blanche in redesigning the rites of episcopal consecration, I would include the following:

The principal celebrant/presiding bishop asks the following question of the candidate:

N, do you consent to being incorporated into the order of bishops?

The candidate, lifting eyes leftward and thereafter rightward, turning clockwise to face west, bolts for the door.

The principal celebrant/presiding bishop chases after the candidate, catching him/her with the crook of the crozier. A procession of incense, cross, and torchbearers leads the celebrant and candidate to the chancel. The cappa poena--a vestment so laden with heavy gems that it is impossible to move--is lain upon the candidate.



--------------------
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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the Gospel according to Patdys:
quote:
Christ however had a different approach. He said, and I am paraphrasing, 'Every single last one of you is a complete and utter fucking tool. You are stupid, self centred and incredibly fucking flawed. But you know what. Me and dad and the spook, we'll love you anyway. And you can participate in that if you want, to the best of your muppet abilities. And we will welcome you into our life.'
Exactly.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16883 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Janine, while bending down to tidy the family plots, was liberally doused with holy water by several priests on All Saints Day.
quote:
I now in fact have the least Satanic rear end in Terrebonne Parish.
[Big Grin]

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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams

Posts: 19552 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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Hot damn, Firenze! I want this on a t-shirt.

quote:
Frankly, anyone who thinks a creator of the universe has confided knowledge of desperate importance to humanity to a lot of strange old men in frocks is as deluded as they come.

But try telling them that.



--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Sadly, this won't fit...

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
ladies and gentlemen! welcome to Hell's own Nerd-down!

it's pocket protectors and slide rules at high noon!

in this corner, it's a fuzzy-faced new-world theologian with the 27-page footnotes, scientific calculator that only prints in aramaic, horn-rimmed glasses held together by duct tape and a chop stick, and head so far up his own ass he blinks his appendix!

in the other corner, it's the humorless twat waving his twenty-eleven leather-bound, mildewed, latin-only-please-and-thank-you tomes with his 40 Arms of Reason while tightening his polka-dot bow tie!

Gentleman, when the abacus strikes 3.14, come out with subtexts a-blazin'!



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Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Think²:
I don't see how possession of a cunt changes your ability to preach .



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753

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[In response to a ranting thread about whether or not being transgendered is a mental illness...]


quote:
Originally posted by comet:
ladies and gentlemen! welcome to Hell's own Nerd-down!

it's pocket protectors and slide rules at high noon!

in this corner, it's a fuzzy-faced new-world theologian with the 27-page footnotes, scientific calculator that only prints in aramaic, horn-rimmed glasses held together by duct tape and a chop stick, and head so far up his own ass he blinks his appendix!

in the other corner, it's the humorless twat waving his twenty-eleven leather-bound, mildewed, latin-only-please-and-thank-you tomes with his 40 Arms of Reason while tightening his polka-dot bow tie!

Gentleman, when the abacus strikes 3.14, come out with subtexts a-blazin'!



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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783

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It's all right guys, Ayah Asher Ayah, Ego Eimi has no ego for Dave. Non Ego Eimi ? There is no perichoresis including us. There is no us, no you, no me. We only ... think we are.

Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard in Purgatory.

ETA: And no, I do not know why he said it, but I kind of like it!

[ 16. November 2011, 23:20: Message edited by: Silver Faux ]

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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)

Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Firenze on the real reasons for atheists being drawn to Christian Unrest in preference to other religions:

quote:
If I don't frequent Muslim or Buddhist sites, it's not because I think the Prophet Mohammed or Siddhārtha Gautama may have been on to something, but because I haven't found one with a good thread on knitting.


--------------------
Who tripped the Fall, if not old Georgie?

Posts: 10952 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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Marvin in Purg, speaking the truth:
(in this case about the economic benefits to funeral directors of people smoking)

quote:
Fear not - the death rate associated with being human will remain at 100% regardless of what we do to change the specific method by which it occurs.


--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16883 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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I'm always a sucker for well-crafted self- mockery:

quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Dumb is preparing to walk to the shops with ones shopping trolley and plastic bag with two pairs of one's better half's work slacks inside to deposit at the shops for drycleaning.

Dumb is walking out the back door via the splendid garden and garage only to stop at the splendid postbox with one's shopping trolley and no drycleaning.

Dumb leaves the shopping trolley by the post box, goes back inside, searches everywhere for slacks to dryclean and can't find them so proceeds to shops for supplies for the evening meal.

Dumb returns and still can't think what happened to the drycleaning and looks again.

Dumb realises a few days later dumb has likely placed the plastic bag of (very expensive slacks) for drycleaning in one's outdoor rubbish bin when one was making one's way to the post box via the garage (wherein said outdoor rubbish bins are kept and where one often places plastic bags of rubbish in).

And the rubbish was emptied by the council the day before.

Dumb is a farkin absentminded retard.

One's better half is now pantless.

Not that I mind but work does.

[Disappointed] [Roll Eyes]



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evensong
Rational Mystic
# 14696

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Kelly speaking to Ruth in Allsaints:

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Ruth, I would express my feelings of sisterhood at that remark, but since you're introverted and obnoxious you'll probably just tell me to get off your leg.

[Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posts: 8814 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
... I was so far in the closet the only person I could reasonably expect to date was Mr Tumnus.

It's not funny, but it's very funny.
True.

But, oh, Adeodatus, honey, the folks against bestiality would've been upset, too. At least their legs would've been up in arms...

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evensong
Rational Mystic
# 14696

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Arch Anglo Catholic in Ecclesiantics in response to learning I was to be thurifer and to venbede's comment that it was the charcoal that caused the coughing problem so the solution was to pile on the incense.

quote:
Originally posted by Arch Anglo Catholic:
Best of luck Evensong - the joy of producing huge quantities of smoke for the Lord cannot be overstated!

I must disagree with my learned colleagues however; coughing is not caused by charcoal smoke, rather by protestantism!

Reformed Catholics in the CofE have no problems with it! Oh my sides....

[Big Grin]

--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posts: 8814 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Traveller
Shipmate
# 1943

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A wonderful attitude about whether to contribute to a particular Hell thread

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Stepping around the cowpat is perfectly acceptable. No comment need be made when the nature and location of the cowpat is clearly seen.



--------------------
I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live:
I will praise my God while I have my being.
Psalm 104 v.33

Posts: 1037 | From: Wherever the car has stopped at the moment! | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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I knew someone would snap that up.

--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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Oh, wonderful comet, which maketh me to laugh my arse off:
quote:
my dog thinks I'm a rock star.


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این نیز بگذرد

Posts: 7370 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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LutheranChik:
quote:
Oh, the spirit of Christmas vomited on several local lawns a few weeks ago already
[Snigger]

--------------------
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams

Posts: 19552 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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We all know that one day the Final Judgement wil come, when the sheep will be separated from the goats. But many of us sometimes about the details, about how this process will turn out to be in practice. And are we going to be judged on or faith or on our works?

Don't worry, Nigel M has all the answers:

quote:
Nigel M: Actually, we have a massive list of texts that promote care for the needy in both Testaments, so I have no worries about the backing for good works in and out of Christianity. What does leave me slightly unsure is how to approach that day before the King. I mean, which line should I start off in? For example:-

[Joining the sheep line and arriving at head of queue, King looks at me..] “You presumptuous, arrogant, snake. The first shall be last. Join the goats.”

[Joins the goat queue, arrives at head, King looks at me...] “I remember you gave a cup of Dr Pepper to a needy disciple of mine. Join the sheep.”

“On the other hand [half way across the floor], You didn't accept his message, even though you were a good little boy then. Goats.

“But I see [just one step back...] that Matthew didn't address whether the good little boys had to accept my message, rather than just offer takeaways. Better play this safe. Join the sheep.”

[Plonks feet firmly in sheep queue. King muses...] “John, on the other hand...”

[Me, getting a tad frustrated] “Oh for goodness sake, Lord, make up your mind!”

“Not everyone who calls me 'Lord'...”

I can already imagine that scene playing out [Killing me]

[ 24. November 2011, 10:51: Message edited by: LeRoc ]

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 5213 | From: Amazon region, Brazil | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Over on "Shipmates Expecting" where everyone is congratulating Jonathon Strange on the arrival of a strangelet (isn't that a sort of quark?)

quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
When you've had a rest, start putting the trainset together, and work out how to have The Talk with him - the one where you explain lbw.

AG

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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 2577 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Silver Faux on the yappy news thread in Hell:

"Well, good morning, welcome to Breakfast News!"
Giggle giggle, flips hair piece, chuckles.
"Our researchers have found this strange site, called, believe it or not, Ship of Fools."
Giggle giggle, flips hair piece, chuckles.
"They have formats divided into, wait for it, Heaven, Purgatory, Hell, and several others."
Chuckle, chuckle, flips hair piece, giggles.
"Anyhow, there is this really bizarre character there, who uses the pen name 'Yorick,' has an avatar of himself holding a human skull, claims to be a family doctor, and disrupts everything by crapping all over the discussion threads."
Giggle giggle, flips hair piece, chuckles.
Chuckle, chuckle, flips hair piece, giggles.

"Our remote cameras will take you right there, but first, our sponsor's brief words on sanitary napkins:"
Flips to commercial

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still need a priest

Posts: 34007 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Gentlemanly discourse on the above thread:

quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
You know, I had always thought Tuggers (your location) was short for Tuggeranong in Canberra. I am sorry. I hadn't realised it was a verb.



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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Loved this:

quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
I have learned that real love is learning to give some people to Jesus.

He keeps giving them back.


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When Adam delved and Eve span, who was then the gentleman? From the beginning all men by nature were created alike, and our bondage or servitude came in by the unjust oppression of naughty men.
John Ball

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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That was a priceless piece of Ruthiana. As is this:

quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
While this thread is still talking turkey, there are a couple of things that I have to wonder about, concerning the American Thanksgiving holiday.
First off, the last Thursday in November seems awfully close to when Christmas gatherings begin; for example, in a couple of weeks from now, my beloved and I are due to welcome around 40 of our delightful extended family to share our annual Christmas get-together.

It's a result of the Full Employment for Therapists Act. Having two big family-centered holidays about a month apart means that you can visit one side of the family for Thanksgiving and then see your therapist and talk it all out (or if you're here in California, get your aura adjusted) before you head over to the other side of the family for Christmas -- and then see your therapist/aura-adjustment specialist again before you just give up and drink heavily over New Year's.




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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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Pure Sunshine
Shipmate
# 11904

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Sometimes the erudition - and scatology - on this Ship amazes me. From Lamb Chopped:

quote:
Originally posted by Twangist:

quote:
Originally posted by Quilted:
Do we not have a responsibility to say straight out "That's a lie!"?
Would Christ have said "I hear what you're saying, but I think you'll find you've been somewhat misinformed" or would he have said "That's a load of crap!" (In aramaic, of course.)

How do you pronounce "crap" in Aramaic?
כראף

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Pure Sunshine by name, and sometimes by nature.

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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Twilight, signing off in style over in Hell:
quote:
Twilight -- Surliest Lady Bountiful that ever stomped the earth.


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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16883 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Who knew you could find a gem on the "Your Cup Runneth Over" thread?

quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
I DECLARE GAMALIEL'S PM BOX EMPTY! HALLELUJAH! MORE LORD! WE CAST OUT THOSE STALE PMS IN YOUR NAME! LET THEM DEPART INTO THE ABYSS, FOR THEY ARE LEGION! AMEN!

There, has that worked? Or did I not shout loud enough?



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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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From Eliab, from the "F*** Xmas" thread in Hell, snipped to just leave the bit I found amusing:

quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
...I love the whole thing. Just two nights ago, I cycled to the local shop..., and walked past a worker setting up a big festive display of chocolates. It made me so happy I was singing carols all the way home (and I rarely sing). I was happy just because it made me think about Christmas - I wasn't even inclined to buy more chocolate than I would otherwise have done*....

*Warning - may contain fib.



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God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. --Acts 10:28

Posts: 56478 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Silver Faux:
Wow! This will be my 63rd Christmas.
Have I ever spent Christmas alone? Nope!
Have I ever attended a Christmas function alone? Nope!
Have I ever skipped a Christmas function because I was alone? Nope!
Gregarious little bugger, ain't I?

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Yes, but how many times have you resorted to concealed weapons to keep your record intact?



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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29772 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783

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A concealed weapon does not really count as a romantic date at a Christmas function, orfeo.
Although I suppose you might be able to get a bang out of it.

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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)

Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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Smudgie speaks wisdom to the cream tea thread:

quote:
Watching one's weight is easier when there's more of it


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That one last shot's a permanent vacation
and how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey, not a destination
and you just can't tell just what tomorrow brings.

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Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Posted by Socratic-Enigma on the Slime Nomine thread

Yorick was incensed, infuriated and inflamed - his pique had been poked; his goad had been goaded; his noodle had gone from al dente to Al Dunlap.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.

Posts: 18130 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Boogie declares herself.

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by IngoB:
Huh? Boogie is not suspect of being a groupie of mine.

Just peep outside the door IngoB - on the edge of the crowd there - that's me!


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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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Evensong
Rational Mystic
# 14696

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quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
I think there's a question at least as important as "did it happen?". And that's "Why did Luke (or whoever) think it a good idea to write it down?" It would seem that the writer thought this story was a great one for getting people to become Christians.

I think it was aimed at those who were already Christian, as a way to extort as much of their money out of them as possible. "Give the church everything you possess or God will kill you".
Yes, that about sums it up - and is another rare occasion where we agree.

It's a ridiculous story, maybe a joke like the story of Jonah and the whale.

If God really is the sort who kills people like that, then he can stick his religion and his bible where the sun don't shine.

leo on fire in Kerg. [Overused]

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a theological scrapbook

Posts: 8814 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Niteowl

Hopeless Insomniac
# 15841

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From Lyda*Rose in the Xmas Wars thread:

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Frankly, I'm getting tired of Christian entitlement. I don't care if Anglican Christianity is the Established religion in the UK. I don't care if the US government was established in the majority by Chriatian men; I don't care if Christians get their widdo feelings hurt by not being treated as the centers of the universe. All you people with Not of this World decals on your cars: well, the world talks smack back sometimes. Deal.

We aren't meant as Christians to be privileged. We are meant to serve others and love our neighbors as ourselves. "Let your light so shine..." not "Let your voice so whine..." Think you are being disrespected? Try living somewhere where being a Christian and living a natural lifespan or even getting work is dicey proposition. And if some sunny bastard dares to wish you Happy Holidays, suck it up and turn the other cheek, dweeb. I say this in Christian love.



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"The Puritan's idea of hell is a place where everybody has to mind his own business." ~ Wendell Phillips, attributed

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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A comment on Ship dynamics.

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I love the way a thread set up to vilify Sine is heading rapidly towards his canonisation.

That man could give Teflon lessons.



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"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

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Earwig

Pincered Beastie
# 12057

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On the 'Waldorf/Steiner Education' thread in Purg:

quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
I am putting my children through Waldorf and Statler education but that is because they are muppets.



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I blog about embroidering, printmaking, weaving & other adventures as Sister Twisty.

Posts: 3109 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
Evensong
Rational Mystic
# 14696

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Comet on choice.


quote:
Originally posted by comet:
But the truth is, it's a choice you all make, also. Whether it's a conscious choice is another matter, but there IS another world out there that isn't full of all of this stressful, chaotic materialism and time-crunched stress.

I realize that ditching it all and moving to the countryside is a bit extreme of a reaction to the December bombardment from madison avenue (and international alternatives). But I urge all of you to really consider what choices you do have. I hear a lot on the Ship of people who seem to think they don't have choices. I don't know your lives, I can't tell you where you're truly stuck or not. But I do know we have more choices than we often realize.

When I was going through the diagnosis process for MS, one of the medicos told me I needed to simplify my life; reduce my daily stress. I laughed. there was no way. I was totally stuck with all of my stresses just to keep my head above water, just to keep the family fed and housed. I had no place to cut.

then my ex left me and my job essentially left me soon afterwards. Suddenly, I discovered a whole new level of functioning. against my will, I was forced to slough off a lot of extraneous baggage that I was not even aware that I had chosen to carry. But when the shit hits the fan, things change. my $900/month rental was no longer vital to life. hell, for a year there I didn't have much of a home at all. and I survived. we thrived, even.

I'm sorry for being long-winded. This is just something I'm passionate about. we really do make choices to live the life we do. and we accept drawbacks that go with the good stuff. All I'm saying is to make those choices consciously. if the holiday materialism really bugs you, make a real, concerted effort to find ways of avoiding it. you really do have more control over that than you think. so maybe you drink your coffee and read your paper at home until the chaos dies down. maybe you consciously choose not to patronize places that abuse your senses with holiday schlock. if your friend plays the radio when you're in the car, ask them not to. if they won't turn it off, chose not to ride with them in the future.

decide what you will and will not allow into your life, and then work to make that a reality. I'm not saying it's easy, but I am saying it's worth it.



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a theological scrapbook

Posts: 8814 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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This caused a water-out-the-nose snort!

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
WYGTMA* you don't just pass the pencil test - you pass the 'can of coke' test!

*When you get to my age.

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

Posts: 14948 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
St. Stephen the Stoned
Shipmate
# 9841

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Adeodatus on the "Snopes" thread:

quote:
quote: And when Jesus had finished these sayings, lo, many who heard him did consult their iPads*. And them that did, did murmur among themselves saying, Lo, Snopes saith there was no Good Samaritan. This man telleth porkies. And seeing their lack of faith, he left that place, muttering many things that are not recorded in this book.


* Some sources add: 'Other tablet computers are available'.



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Do you want to see Jesus or don't yer? Well shurrup then!

Posts: 508 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged



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