homepage
  roll on christmas  
click here to find out more about ship of fools click here to sign up for the ship of fools newsletter click here to support ship of fools
community the mystery worshipper gadgets for god caption competition foolishness features ship stuff
discussion boards live chat cafe avatars frequently-asked questions the ten commandments gallery private boards register for the boards
 
Ship of Fools


Post new thread  New poll  Post a reply
My profile login | Register | Directory | Search | FAQs | Board home
   - Printer-friendly view Next oldest thread   Next newest thread
» Ship of Fools   » Special interest discussion   » The Circus   » SoF Quotes File (Page 38)

 - Email this page to a friend or enemy.  
Pages in this thread: 1  2  3  ...  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  ...  51  52  53 
 
Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

 - Posted      Profile for Mamacita   Email Mamacita   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
A little Ash Wednesday humor from Eccles:

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Last night, we were asked to wipe off each others' ash during the peace as a sign of reconciliation.

quote:
To which Michael Astley responds:
Just be grateful that you didn't misread "ash".



--------------------
carpe diem

Posts: 19026 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pooks
Shipmate
# 11425

 - Posted      Profile for Pooks     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
From Hell, no less.

quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
...the key to effective communication is not just being right. Effective communication occurs when others pay attention to your message.


Posts: 1506 | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

 - Posted      Profile for Jack the Lass   Author's homepage   Email Jack the Lass   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Jengie Jon on the Celtic Spirituality thread in Purgatory:

quote:
That is not to say that there isn't something of the original, but it is fragmented and fragile. We, as our ancestors were to, are guilty of joining up just three dots on a scrap of paper and saying it is a highly skilled piece of Celtic Knot-work.


--------------------
"I'm not drunk, I'm just avoiding the potholes" (Glasgow bumper sticker)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5360 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267

 - Posted      Profile for Spiffy   Author's homepage   Email Spiffy   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Freddy:
quote:
Originally posted by The Great Gumby:
I can't decide whether it's your definition of "governing" or "random" that's idiosyncratic.

Probably both. In any case I love the idea that randomness is a form of government.


--------------------
Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account

Posts: 10280 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

 - Posted      Profile for churchgeek   Author's homepage   Email churchgeek   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
In the thread, "No! That's not right!" Amanda B. Reckondwythe made me laugh:

quote:
In days gone by, polite society would refer to pregnant ladies with the phrase "She's expecting."

Well, yes, aren't we all? We're expecting people to finish their sentences by including the direct object.



--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

(For Doctor Who fans)
And...my blog, on poetry, God, and Detroit (in no particular order)

Posts: 7287 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169

 - Posted      Profile for Leaf     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
In Dead Horses, from the thread "Texas but not Virginia", on a proposed law requiring women to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before a contemplated abortion. The clarity of Eliab's thought is worth the nastiness of the imagery:
quote:
That's exactly why it's a bad law. There's no possible principled defence for it. No one thinks it's OK to kill someone but only if you first allow an image to be made of them using a camera poked into your genitals. The State of Texas is not going to acquit you of murdering Rick Perry if you plead that you took a picture of him with your cockcam, and satisfied yourself that although he may well have had a physical resemblence to a human being, you were quite sure that he had not been endowed with a soul.
So nasty, so sharp, so funny.
Posts: 2521 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
This made me hurt myself laughing, Literally, pain:


quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Is there any record of anyone taking Nietzsche outside and belting him for talking such arrant nonsense?

Not that I know of, but I wanted to every time my tutor sighed and, with a faraway look on his face, said 'Have you read any Nietzsche?'
"Ah, dear Friedrich. Many's the time he would come into my office in the morning carrying a stuffed leopard. Or perhaps it was an ocelot. 'That which does not kill me makes me stronger!' he'd shout. Then he would usually call me Valerie and bark for a minute or two before wandering off, mumbling about some cove called Zarathustra. Did you know he was very keen on football? 'My idea of paradise,' he used to say, 'is a straight line to goal.' Didn't make much more sense than all the other stuff, now I think of it."


--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Timothy the Obscure

Mostly Friendly
# 292

 - Posted      Profile for Timothy the Obscure   Email Timothy the Obscure   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
If I'd actually been able to get through The Genealogy of Morals that would probably be even funnier.

--------------------
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
  - Mo Udall

Posts: 5954 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I just appreciate the effort put into this:

quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
Sexual choices and Schroedinger's Cat
might seem to have no kind of link,
But until you try it, for whom do you bat -
are you true blue, or leaning to pink?



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Earwig

Pincered Beastie
# 12057

 - Posted      Profile for Earwig   Author's homepage   Email Earwig   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Adeodatus is on fire at the moment - this post in Eccles made me hoot out loud:

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
How hungry do you have to be before you become a mystic?

Hungry enough so that everybody you look at appears to be a giant doughnut. The line between mystic vision and confectionary-inspired hallucination is a thin one.


--------------------
I blog about embroidering, printmaking, weaving & other adventures as Sister Twisty.

Posts: 3110 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

 - Posted      Profile for Moo   Email Moo   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
posted by Eleanor Jane on the Appropriate Dress thread
Of course, management in a church context seems to be pretty similar to trying to have a tea party in a crocodile enclosure...

Moo

--------------------
Kerygmania host
---------------------
See you later, alligator.

Posts: 18131 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Evensong
Rational Mystic
# 14696

 - Posted      Profile for Evensong   Email Evensong   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
angelfish on Revelation in purg:

quote:
Originally posted by angelfish:
Actually, the evidence for the existence of God is that He makes Himself known to people through revelation. Nobody starts believing in God because they read about Him. Once God makes Himself known, you can go to the Bible to see how others experienced revelation and read it using your intelligence, knowledge of history, anthropology etc and start to understand things on a level that is somewhat higher than a children's book.



--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posts: 8815 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Succinctly put:


quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:

Platitudes are for idiots. Better to shut up than risk a swirly in the nearest restroom when somebody in crisis hears you.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

 - Posted      Profile for Lamb Chopped   Email Lamb Chopped   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
[Big Grin] Must figure out what I've done with my embroidery supplies, just for you, Kelly.

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 15806 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
While I respect both opinions involved, I really had to archive this rare instance of IngoB being hilariously funny:

quote:
Originally posted by IngoB:
quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
Cathedrals are often ‘thin’ places for me. I frequently get a strong sense of atmosphere, of the ‘hum and sizzle’ described in the OP. I am convinced I experience this in the same way that many others do- most of whose experience persuades them of some sort of supernatural cause. I do not ascribe any supernatural phenomenon, however, and recognise my experience as a wholly natural one. It makes perfect sense to me, I still get to enjoy the experience, and I don’t have to subscribe to all the silly stuff.

God: Welcome, Yorick!
Yorick: I have a most interesting experience here. Something about the design of the place seems to trigger my hormonal system.
God: Uhhh. Hi there?
Yorick: Wow, intense. Let's see if it is reproducible. We will leave this cathedral...
God: Hey, wait. I wanted to chat to you. ... What is he doing?
Yorick: ... and go into this one. Do I get similar electrochemical reactions in my cerebral matter?
God: Ah, there you are again. Sorry, did I scare you back there?
Yorick: And there that feeling is again. Fascinating. Why would evolution create in me some sort of awe about cathedrals? It's probably something about caves and the likelihood of encountering bears in them...
God: Excuse me, but you do hear me, don't you? Let's crank up the volume a bit. Hello? Yorick?
Yorick: Hmm. Sniff. I'm even tearing up a bit... perhaps this is invoking old childhood memories. I must have some hidden trauma about getting dragged to church. Better give it a rest for now.
God: Hey, don't go so soon again. Maybe come back Sundays? We put on a show then, you might like it? Sigh. Humans, can't live with them, can't live without them...



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

 - Posted      Profile for Golden Key   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
It may be bad form to quote the Prayers thread (AS board), but...

Telepath:

quote:
So, please let this be a sign! [1]


[1] A sign that it's Meant To Be that I continue at my current workplace, I mean. Not a sign that I've gone down a rabbit hole of magical thinking and barmy semiotic arousal.

[Snigger]

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
~Time makes little difference to infinity and jelly doughnuts.~"Magnum PI"
That's very fascinating, in an NPR sort of way.--"Elementary"

Posts: 12218 | From: GOTHAM CITY | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
birdie

fowl
# 2173

 - Posted      Profile for birdie     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
A hell thread on gay marriage is not a place I expect to find myself laughing out loud, but...

quote:
Originally posted by Chesterbelloc:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
When does gay sexuality 'in bed' become 'sex'?
Reading in bed - different books, different reading light
One feels tired nods off
a hug
a kiss on the cheeks
a kiss on the lips
ditto with tongues
chewing nipples
licking armpits
mutual masturbation
fellatio
anal penetration with sex toy
anal penetration with penis

Blimey. I can see why Pam Ayres never got that one published.


--------------------
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow

Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
leo
Shipmate
# 1458

 - Posted      Profile for leo   Author's homepage   Email leo   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by birdie:
A hell thread on gay marriage is not a place I expect to find myself laughing out loud, but...

quote:
Originally posted by Chesterbelloc:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
When does gay sexuality 'in bed' become 'sex'?
Reading in bed - different books, different reading light
One feels tired nods off
a hug
a kiss on the cheeks
a kiss on the lips
ditto with tongues
chewing nipples
licking armpits
mutual masturbation
fellatio
anal penetration with sex toy
anal penetration with penis

Blimey. I can see why Pam Ayres never got that one published.

And i have added an update!

--------------------
My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com

Posts: 20636 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
On the train thread, Alaric the Goth teaches us how to tell someone to fuck off in Heaven without getting the Hosts on your ass:


quote:
Originally posted by Alaric the Goth:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
This thread should be in a dark corner of Hell.

AtB, Pyx_e

And also with you!


--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
[Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
"Yeah, I know, that's annoying, almost done."* I have seen kids go from complete flip-out to quiet grumbling just because someone said "Yeah I know, you hate this don't you?"

*( In a liturgically compatible form, of course.)

The officiant saith: O chylde, open thou thy lippes.
Aunswere. No no no no no!

Officiant (with humble repentense):

Indeed, chylde, I have offended against thy wille: I have left undone those thinges whiche I ought to have done, and I have done those thinges which thou thinkest I ought not to have done, and there is no health in me, but thou, O chylde, have mercy upon me a miserable offendour. Spare thou me, O chylde, whiche confesse my faultes.

Thou knowest, O chylde, the terrors of my heart; squinch not up thy teeny weeny eyes against my prayers: but spare us, O little one, O childe most noisy, O crankie and unhappy darling, thou most demanding judge infernall, suffer me not, within this hour, for any pangs of fear, to let thee fall.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

 - Posted      Profile for Lamb Chopped   Email Lamb Chopped   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
[Snigger] [Two face]

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to recently (new book out).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 15806 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

 - Posted      Profile for Lyda*Rose   Email Lyda*Rose   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Snatched out from under the swift sword of our goodly host Trudy in Purg this bit of "The Beast Revelation" thread:
quote:
Originally posted by michae1:
There can't be two Schroedinger's Cat's out there?

ken:
quote:
Only until the wavefunction collapses.
It just had to be rescued from almost instant Oblivion.

--------------------
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams

Posts: 19553 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
'Limbo" is when you just give up and quotes file the whole thread. I sense the thread that spawned this one may be a contender:

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
Another tangent concerning a child rather than a baby ...

When I was in parish ministry, a family wanted their 7-year-old daughter baptised at the same time as their new-born son. No problem. A not uncommon request.

Except that being enthusiastic and newly on-board church folk, mum and dad thought it would be a good idea for the 7-year old to answer for herself at the baptism. I explained the risks, but they seemed to have some lunatic idea that the Holy Spirit would make it all right, or something. (I told them that doesn't happen in the CofE, but....)

Come the day of the baptism. The girl is not in a good mood, because of all the attention her brother's been having. So on this occasion only, the liturgical dialogue went:

Priest: Do you wish to be baptised?
Candidate: No!
Priest: *Sigh* Well your brother's having it done.
Candidate: (Rolls eyes) Oh all right then.

You've got to make that kind of allowance. My tradition doesn't give Communion to babies, but I can imagine the words of administration might be "Open wide, here comes the Jesus aeroplane" rather than "The Body of Christ".



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

 - Posted      Profile for mousethief   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
On the hell thread "things that piss me off in the 'gay marriage' debate." As you can see, Eliab didn't stop being so bloody brilliant, but upped the ante.

quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Eliab, stop being so bloody brilliant. You might make me fall in love with you, and that can only end in tears.

[Disappointed]

Orfeo, we can't "fall in love". That's what might happen if one of us were a woman. As two men, we would have to develop a civil emotional attachment.

You are probably right that it would terminate in civil relational distress. And we live too far apart even for some civil osculatory contact in the mean time.

But I appreciate the compliment. [Axe murder]



--------------------
God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. --Acts 10:28

Posts: 56481 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
birdie

fowl
# 2173

 - Posted      Profile for birdie     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
You need the whole paragraph to get the context, but the last sentence of this, from Ariel...

quote:
Prayer is essentially communication. It doesn’t always feel like it, but it is basically a two-way process. In its broadest sense, we speak, and we listen. It provides a space to open yourself up to the possibility of an encounter with the numinous. (This is the difficult bit, because there isn't always a clearly recognizable answer. The other difficult bit is when there is.)

Ain't that the truth.

[ 23. March 2012, 15:23: Message edited by: birdie ]

--------------------
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow

Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753

 - Posted      Profile for jbohn   Author's homepage   Email jbohn   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
From the "Shot for being suspiciously black" thread in Purg:


quote:
Originally posted by OliviaG:
These folks don't need Neighbourhood Watch, they need to be a neighbourhood.

Don't we all...

--------------------
We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

Posts: 800 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Solid.


quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
The best thing I ever heard on the subject of prayer was "I hope God is listening when I talk to my imaginary friend called God." As far as I'm concerned that pretty much covers it. And very briefly too. Always a plus. Especially around here.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Lovely instance of double humour on the 'I could have been.....' thread in the Circus:


East Price Road:
I could have been a cobbler, but I didn't think it would last.

Ann:
Shame! Just think, if you'd persevered you could have been: East Price Road & Co, by Appointment, Shoemakers to the Queen and Cobblers to the Duke of Edinburgh

--------------------
still need a priest

Posts: 34007 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Silver Faux making Zappa feel better about people who treat him badly:

For example, when a funeral home sends a car round to pick you up, they will always politely return you to your home, after you have conducted a service.
When a funeral home sends a car round to pick up the principal benefactor who is now treating you like shite, they will deliver that person straight to the crematorium, and load them directly onto the conveyor belt.


--------------------
still need a priest

Posts: 34007 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Don't mind me, just archiving the best bits of an historical event:

quote:
Originally posted by Horseman Bree:
Just enquiring (enquiring minds like mine need to know!) as to the reason for the closure of the Quotes file.

No warning or reason was given on the thread.

quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
I just assumed Chorister wanted the last word.

quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
It was my fault! I had accessed the thread from my phone and closed it by accident when trying to close it. I didn't notice my mistake until this morning.

Sorry [Hot and Hormonal] [Hot and Hormonal] [Hot and Hormonal]

quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Of course, my earlier assumption still stands. [Big Grin]

quote:
Originally posted by passer:
Can I quote you on that?

quote:
Originally posted by OliviaG:
Can we still have a multi-page thread on how closing the Quotes File shows that the H&A play favourites, that discussion is being stifled, and breaking rules is of value to the community? OliviaG

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Alright you suspicious lot - I thought this must be an April Fool's joke, until I looked at the date and realised there are several days to go yet.

At least you've given us a good laugh Spike [Killing me]



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

 - Posted      Profile for Lyda*Rose   Email Lyda*Rose   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Spiffy:
quote:
My great-granduncle used to expound whilst in his cups that you didn't transition from being an immigrant to the US to an actual "American" unless you spoke English.

Then someone in the family would usually point out he was giving this tirade in Italian because, you know, he was drunk and had forgotten his second language, English.

Great, pithy story, Spiff! [Big Grin]

--------------------
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams

Posts: 19553 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
fletcher christian

Mutinous Seadog
# 13919

 - Posted      Profile for fletcher christian   Email fletcher christian   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
This was quick enough to make me chuckle:

quote:

Agreed. But as I get older I tend to repeat myself, not other people.

Posted by Sine in Hell

--------------------
'God is love insaturable, love impossible to describe'
Staretz Silouan

Posts: 4522 | From: a prefecture | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267

 - Posted      Profile for Spiffy   Author's homepage   Email Spiffy   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
It's a huge chunk of text, but I think it's important enough to be highlighted and remembered, and pointed out to those who don't frequent Hell.

quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

In this place - this community - literally all we have and are is our words, typed on a screen. Those words are the only means we have of becoming known, and of getting to know others. What we say and how we say it defines us for everyone else, and therefore defines the very community in which we all operate.

So when someone who generally comes across as a pompous blowhard who holds anyone he perceives to be of lesser academic weight than himself in utter contempt posts something that displays a kind, warm, intelligent and likeable side to their personality, most people here will start thinking better of him and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. These moments are special ones in the life of a community such as this - moments where we can genuinely come to a new and fuller appreciation of the real people behind our avatars.

And then it turns out that that person, far from displaying a different side to their personality, is merely copying someone else's words in order to make themselves look kind, warm, intelligent and likeable. What a betrayal! What a corruption of that special moment! In any form of relationship such a pretence is detestable, but to do it here, where it strikes at the very heart of what we are and how our community is built? How much worse is that?

Imagine never being able to be sure of who your real-life friends actually are. Never knowing if they mean what they say, or if they're just lying in order to make you think better of them. Never knowing if they've actually done the things they're telling you about and for which you admire them so. Imagine never quite knowing that you're not in some kind of Truman Show, where everyone else you know is just an actor whose words are written for them by others. That is the effect that leo's charlatanical ways have on the community that is the Ship. If we can't trust that posters here are who they claim to be, then how can we possibly exist in community with them? How can we share prayers with them in All Saints, play games with them in The Circus or discuss theology with them in Purgatory if we don't even know if it's them we're interacting with?

Seriously, this shit's important in communities like this. Do you not remember the Curious Buddhist debacle? If not, the poster by that name became well-known and respected around here, but fell ill and subsequently died. People prayed for her. People sent gifts. People cried genuine tears at the end. And then it turned out that it was all BULLSHIT, and she'd made the whole fucking thing up. All that genuine emotion, those genuine prayers, that genuine community, and it was all for a person who was nothing more than a story being told by some fucked up bitch who was just toying with us.

Words matter here. It matters that what we read can reasonably be expected to be genuine. Because too many incidents like that, or like this, and the working assumption on reading posts is going to change from "this is real" to "this is fake". And the second that happens is the second when we lose the community that is Ship of Fools.

So no, the Ship isn't a book or an academic paper. Knowing that the words we read genuinely come from the author is far more important here than in those arenas.



--------------------
Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account

Posts: 10280 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

 - Posted      Profile for comet   Author's homepage   Email comet   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Josephine beats someone up with the smart stick:

quote:
You were not only out of line, but out of plane and out of Euclidian space.
love it.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16883 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

 - Posted      Profile for Eutychus   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Curses, comet, I came here to post just that!

--------------------
Who tripped the Fall, if not old Georgie?

Posts: 10966 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Does it really matter who he's talking about?


quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
He's sort of a cross between Milli Vanilli and Ozymandias.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
One more for the Mousethief Golden One Liner Collecton:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Hell from the other Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard

No way. There can only be one.

(Dig the Highlander reference. [Big Grin] )

--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

 - Posted      Profile for comet   Author's homepage   Email comet   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Pooks made me smile. this is the beauty of using Hell as a razor-fine rapier rather than a caveman's club.

quote:
just because Evensong said inanity makes life worth living, doesn't mean you have to prove it.


--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 16883 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Sometimes it's the little things that will just make you snap like a rubber band.

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
I could start by asking you to stop signing posts. See that bit over to the left? That's where I can read who wrote the post. 90% of us get by with that indication of who we are.

Or perhaps you're thinking that if your account gets hacked, we'll all immediately realise it isn't really you posting because the false Zach will forget to add 'Zach' at the end of the post and give the game away?

ORFEO.



--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
The Ship is always the last to know.

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
you're cheating on us???

Well, it's just that... you don't fulfil all my needs. You're GREAT for the religious stuff and the political debate, and there's no place like Hell, but sometimes I want a Tori Amos freakout or a bit of time with the gays. And, um... I've just started seeing some classical music nuts too. It's early days yet (only about 35 posts), but so far we're getting along really well and I think it could be serious.

I just don't think I'm the kind of guy who can come to one board for everything.

(can't find my corkscrew. [Biased] )

--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881

 - Posted      Profile for Soror Magna   Email Soror Magna   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
ken serves up two of my favourite things - accuracy and wit:

quote:
Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha was of course a Saxon. Though not a Goth.
OliviaG

--------------------
Life is a journey, not a guilt trip.

Posts: 4403 | From: Caprica City | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Louise cuts through the guff and straight to the point:

Church says if you do X, then very bad things will happen.
People do X and bad things don't happen.
Church refuses to revisit claims on X despite evidence.
Sky continues not to fall when more people do X.
Therefore people conclude that church was wrong on X and frame laws accordingly.
'Behold!' says Church, 'How X leads to secularisation!'


--------------------
still need a priest

Posts: 34007 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Pyx_e's attitude to Good Friday Processions, revealed in all its glory:

I make my lot smile .............. by not turning up. I'm not joking, I fecking hate it, but they love it and love me being too grumpy to go, they sing extra loud so I can hear it from vicarage, bastards.

--------------------
still need a priest

Posts: 34007 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

 - Posted      Profile for Chorister   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Jahlove on the Press:

It's the popular press, guys - within which all women who get raped are asking for it, all non-whites are terrorists, all social workers are evil child-snatchers unless a kid gets killed by its parents in which case they are lazy fuckers, all teachers are lazy fuckers who can't teach while, at the same time, all parents are lazy fuckers who can't be arsed to toilet-train their kids before they go to school (unless they earn more than £50K pa in which case it reverts to teacher error), shedloads of jobs are taken by immigrant workers (even tho' UK yoof are idle, useless, work shy scum). And everyone is categorised by the value of their housing.

--------------------
still need a priest

Posts: 34007 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:

It's therefore more important for a young child to have a teacher with imagination and flair than for a particular scheme to be followed.

Lawmakers should have this line forcibly tattooed on their foreheads before they are allowed to go anywhere near education legislation.

--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evensong
Rational Mystic
# 14696

 - Posted      Profile for Evensong   Email Evensong   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
God is allowed to be violent but we aren't. No moral contradiction there. There are lots of things God gets to do that we ought not to. "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord" That is mine and not yours. Its ultra vires. Humans aren't meant to decide who lives and who dies. God does it all.

After all God created all those Canaanites, and God killed all those Canaanites. And all those Hebrews and Philistines and Egyptians and Chinese and in fact everyone else who was alive at the time. And all the cats and dogs and mice and insects and herrings and flowers and tortoises. In fact every living thing on Earth that was alive three thousand years ago is now dead, apart from a few unusual plants. Some died old, some died young, some died through "natural causes" (scare quotes because also all caused by God), some were killed violently, some died alone, some died all at once. God created them all, and God is responsible for their lives and their deaths. And ours too. We're not.

We don't get to decide who lives and who dies or when they die. And when we try to decide it we're breaking the rules because that's what God does. It kind of goes with being God. Omnipotent and eternal creator and all that.

ken in Purgatory.

--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posts: 8815 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
"it's Easter Sunday here in Lake Wobegon..."


quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy:
quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:

... there are 300 people who think, perhaps rightly, going to church on Easter morning is better than getting it on, but you may draw your own conclusions.

Is this where we insert a "Frozen Chosen" joke and imply they showed up hoping for instructions on precisely one went about having this sex they keep hearing about?




--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

 - Posted      Profile for Stejjie   Author's homepage   Email Stejjie   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
This may just be my weird sense of humour, but orfeo's ABC of History of Religions in the "Resurrection and the Archbishop" thread made me laugh:

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

You don't have to be a history of religion expert to assess whether or not a story claims to include real-life people or not.

All you need to do is read the story and see if it includes real-life people.



--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 819 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

 - Posted      Profile for Kelly Alves   Email Kelly Alves   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Remember the homies:


quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
[Roman] Catholics have their own Cola?

Royal Crown Cola.
Anglo-Caths pour a little out for King Charles the Martyr. [Biased]


--------------------
"It’s proof again that the good die young, and pricks live forever. He’s gonna be missed. There’s a hole, and it’s gonna take a long time to be filled.” Lewis Black

Posts: 29789 | From: Waves and seagulls, football crowds, and churchbells. | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

 - Posted      Profile for LeRoc     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
This is a bit serious for the Circus perhaps, but to me this advise from anoesis on a question about prenuptial arrangements is a highlight of the Ship (as various people on the thread have attested to):

quote:
anoesis: I don't know - I don't know - but if marriage really is a big and very important thing, perhaps she should not hold on so tightly to the things she owns, and put them all on the table. And perhaps you should not hold on so tightly to an issue of principle and instead show your deep love and concern for her by doing what is necessary to ease her fears. To sacrifice something you hold dear - for her. I think, if you can manage to do this, and do it without bitterness, it will have a tremendous impact on the depth of your relationship.


--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 5228 | From: Amazon region, Brazil | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged



Pages in this thread: 1  2  3  ...  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  ...  51  52  53 
 
Post new thread  New poll  Post a reply Close thread   Feature thread   Move thread   Delete thread Next oldest thread   Next newest thread
 - Printer-friendly view
Go to:

Contact us | Ship of Fools | Privacy statement

© Ship of Fools 2014

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.5.0

 
Check out Reform magazine
sip of fools mugs from your favourite nautical website
 
  ship of fools