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Source: (consider it) Thread: Everlasting....
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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quote:
Originally posted by Pangolin Guerre:
Xylographer of considerable talent, Teddy bided her time carving an image of Giovanna in a Ferrari - in El Paso!

"'elp!" a soldier cried, as wood chips flew out of Teddy's car.


[edited for page break]

[ 21. July 2017, 21:53: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango with Giovanna?

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Pangolin Guerre
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Nah, said Scaramouche (a new arrival into the scene), for he knew that Giovanna was fatale - for, knowing her past in Argentina, Scaramouche was acquainted with a particular tango homicide.

[ 23. July 2017, 03:17: Message edited by: Pangolin Guerre ]

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jrw
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# 18045

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"Dennis Wheatley novels?", said God, as Satan began unpacking his luggage on arrival in Heaven, "If you're hoping I'll give you another chance and let you stay here, you're going the wrong way about it".

--------------------
plug plug

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Pangolin Guerre
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"Tit for tat, thought Teddy as she caught Giovanna in the sights of her sniper's rifle.
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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
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Flee, Giovanna, lest you bite the dust!

[ 24. July 2017, 17:11: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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Pangolin Guerre
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Stunned and hurt by God's cold welcome, Satan repacked his books, and decided that the action would be in El Paso, so summoned his minion Ken the Demon, reluctantly.
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jrw
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Ken the demon reluctantly accepted his old job back, his attempts at finding any other employment having failed due to the fact that all the available jobs involved work.

--------------------
plug plug

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Pangolin Guerre
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Ed worked his magic and managed to buy a battered Mini from a used car dealership, and he and Anna were off to El Paso, vengeance and passsionate love in his wounded heart.
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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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He artfully dodged the police as he sped off to Texas.

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Tot, exasperated, screamed for a nice warm bottle.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Pangolin Guerre
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Let us know, whose tot that?
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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Hat trick, of course, for Giovanna and -- oh, whichever of her many men friends you care to pick -- she certainly wouldn't have a clue!

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Golden Key
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A Clue game marathon was the order of the day when the assorted angels, demons, ex-beloveds, etc., of all the afore named grew so sick of all the main characters that they pitched in together and locked them all in an adobe house in a quiet neighborhood in Austin, Texas.

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

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Pangolin Guerre
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As expected, though late to the party, seasoned cop Ray (investigating the guesome murders of the mechanic Jake and his girlfriend Val) and his squeamish-at-the sight-of-blood deputy Bert descended into El Paso.
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Golden Key
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So they rented a dented, old, tan van from Rent-My=Wreck, stocked up on Gatorade, fast food and Depends, and headed off to Austin, home of artists, filmmakers, and really good music.

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

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Pangolin Guerre
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Sickened by the motion of the van, Bert vomited repeatedly - blood was not his only bete noir.
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jrw
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"Oi, Ray and Bert!", exclaimed Ronald McDonald, as Ray and Bert sat eating at McDonalds in Austin, "My friend Scaramouche and the others are all locked in an adobe house! Help them!" He gave them the address of the house and then went off to have something to eat at Burger King.

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plug plug

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Pangolin Guerre
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Kingston is a lovely place, thought Bert as he contemplated a change of career.
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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Are, er, we talking about Kingston, Jamaica; Kingston, Ontario; or Kingston, New York? wondered Bert's friends -- if Kingston, New York, at least it isn't Poughkeepsie.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Pangolin Guerre
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Siesta time, thought Giovanna, oblivious to being in the cross hairs of vengeful Teddy.
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Pangolin Guerre
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[punting]

Dying for a beer, Ray and Bert walked into an El Paso dive for a Corona (limes supplied by Giovanna), only to see at the bar Ken the demon, now on his eighth tequila.

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jrw
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"Quila, Quila, is there anywhere here for me to hide!?", asked Ken panic-strickenly to the barmaid, "I've just seen my boss come in here and I'm supposed to be working!"

--------------------
plug plug

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Pangolin Guerre
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In gross inebriation, Ken experienced a prescient hallucination of the boss's arrival, having eaten the worm and chatted with a nonexistent coyote.
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654

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yo ! tell that crazy lady I ain't playing no fool

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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -

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Sipech
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# 16870

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Oolite is a word I found in my dictionary after I had a few minutes of head-scratching following the last post by Wet Kipper.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Pangolin Guerre
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Per Ken's tequila-induced precognitive vision, Satan arrived, not in search of Ken, but of drinks after a bad series of days.
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jrw
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"Day Six", Ken wrote in his diary, "I've been hiding inside Satan's head now for six days, the one place he's least likely to suspect and he's become really lazy due to 'The Ken Effect'. He's going to start suspecting something soon though and then he'll get an exorcist in. That should be a laugh!".

--------------------
plug plug

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Pangolin Guerre
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Ghostly visions started to disturb Satan's sight as he knocked backed a succession of Bourbons, not leaving his bar stool for six days, causing him to wonder hypochondriacally, Is it the booze, or a tumour?

[ 04. August 2017, 15:56: Message edited by: Pangolin Guerre ]

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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"At, um, our customary hour," mused Satan, "we will make an appearance that will leave their tails spinning."

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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In gall bladders, sometimes there are very painful stones.
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Pangolin Guerre
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Estimating that he had now been drinking for eight days uninterrupted, Satan forgot about his head (booze? tumour?), and turned his thoughts to the shooting pain in his abdomen, wondering whether it might be gall stones, or the bad nachos.
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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"Ach! Ostensibly appendicitis," opined the good Doctor Schadenfreude, whom Satan regularly consulted in crises such as the present.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Sipech
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# 16870

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Resentment and bitterness only get worse if they are allowed to fester.

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Pangolin Guerre
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Terminal resentment and bitterness, in the case of Theodora.
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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Dora the Explorer never ran into Ken or Giovanna on her adventures.

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Pangolin Guerre
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# 18686

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Reservations made at El Paso's swankiest Argentine restaurant, Scaramouche hoped there to lull Giovanna (who unwittingly had escaped Teddy's shot) into a false sense of security, and his revenge for the tango death of his porteno comrade upon her to wreak.
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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A knowing nod from Satan, followed by a wink, reminded Scaramouche, however, that this was the very restaurant where Satan had acquired a nasty case of appendicitis.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Scaramouche had found that it was difficult to dance a fandango with a ruptured appendix.

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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jrw
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# 18045

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"Dixon, watch what you're doing with those castanets...aaaaaaargh...f*** f*** f***...aaaarghohhhhh!!!", yelled Dave Roberts the guitarist, in agony, to his musical partner Steve Dixon, both of them from Barnsley in England.

--------------------
plug plug

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Glandular fever, the diagnosis of which had apparently escaped our good Doctor Schadenfreude, had, you see, infected all of the heroes and heroines of our ragged little fable.

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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A bleak and terrible lingering illness, featuring festering boils in armpits, pus oozing from bodily crevices, and gangrenous snot from orifices I shall not name, were Satan's disgusting, yet deserved gifts, bestowed on vile and despicable toadies such as Scaramouche and his ilk.

--------------------
Maybe I should stop to consider that I'm not worthy of an epiphany and just take what life has to offer
(formerly was just "no prophet") \_(ツ)_/

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Pangolin Guerre
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# 18686

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Silken hair fetchingly gathered back, elegant Giovanna took her seat across from Scaramouche, and wondered at his oozing of effluent.
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Fluent in medical jargon I am not," offered Giovanna, "but let me simply ask you, Moochie: Are you sick?"

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Yo, us Icknield Way walkers are not usually so fluent in gangsta.

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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

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Urfshyne
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# 17834

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Angst? Actually, I'm not anxious but livid!
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jrw
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# 18045

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"I'd like a burger, fries and a large coke, please", said Ronald McDonald to the waiter at the posh restaurant, "Oh hi, Moochie. Are you going to introduce me to your lady friend? No Mr Waiter, please don't throw me out! I went to a lot of trouble to buy this dinner jacket!" Giovanna was unimpressed by Scaramouche's friend and Scaramouche sat embarrassed and devastated, the whole evening's effect ruined.

--------------------
plug plug

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Pangolin Guerre
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# 18686

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In Ed's breast pocket was a Lonely Planet guide to demonology - he, thinking to use it on Giovanna, unaware that he might have to use it to exorcise Satan of Ken.
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Sipech
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# 16870

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Kentish ragstone was used in the construction of many churches in the south-east.

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Sou, the astronomically small bronze coin of French origin, can be used in terms to denigrate.

--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

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