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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
And I'm awestruck by the ability to distill the gay bakery thread into this;
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
Yes, you can kill with a carrot. Yes, you can discriminate against people with big noses. But sensible people, and sensible legislators, will be a little more worried about guns and homophobia.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
This is probably many pages back on this thread, but I was looking at my personal quotes file and this quote seemed quite prophetic of our times: quote:
Pyx_e:
We are way past "white flag of surrender" land and are currently galloping through "foaming at the mouth" land with "doing 60 mph into a brick wall" land clearly in sight.
I can't watch.
I miss Pyx_e. ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
I miss Pyx_e.
He did stop by the "Why daddy's nose bleeds: responsibility and disease and addiction" thread in Purgatory a couple of times on Friday. I also wish he were around more often.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Thanks! I'll check it out! ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
Just saw; quote:
There are no visitors on this board. Quiet, isn't it?
on the eighth day board for which the current topic is the quiet zone.
[ 06. January 2017, 07:09: Message edited by: mdijon ]
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
I'm still loving RuthW's response when Rook started name-checking a number of rarely seen Shipmates.
quote:
To me it sounds like RooK's running his own weird version of Pokemon Go on the Ship.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
The thing is, people and ideas are not static with respect to each other. And, fundamentally, the differentiation of the two is absolutely necessary for a society to flourish.
Ideas need to be tested, and mistrusted until they withstand some reasonable scrutiny. A brutal culling of weak ideas is the machinery of reason. By exposing ourselves to many ideas, we get to reap the benefits of testing them against each other and thereby improving our understandings. Meanwhile, while people are one of the ways that ideas are carried, it helps if they're afforded some basic respect and forgiveness for sometimes not being right...
Sometimes I worry that we scare away people who disagree with some of us. But then I look at how little we agree with each other - other than on the value of being decent fucking people. And it seems obvious that what we scare away are mostly just shitty people.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Spike, on the "Before Church" thread in Heaven, proving that one really shouldn't eat too much cheese before going to bed:
quote:
... I remain is a state of semi slumber as my dreams are invaded by Claire Balding and a bit later on by some bishop or another ...
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
WW nails it in the Rosencrantz game in the Circus:
quote:
Could the future assassin of the President Elect of the USA be called Dundonald?
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
This is so horribly accurate:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
Power attracts the corruptible. Suspect any who seek it.
Frank Herbert.
Pyx_e's guide to becoming a religion scholar
1/ The Bible is THE WORD OF GOD
2/ If I do what it says the I get THE POWER OF GOD (not unlike the power of castle Grayskull I imagine)
3/ Power is always defined by "the right" and "the wrong." Find "the wrong" in you then find people to give it to (poors , poofs and peculiars always a good start). Pour out your hate for yourself on them and use THE POWER OF GOD to justify it.
4/ Sit pretty.
There. Easy. Good job I never do any of that shit.
Pyx_e
Mt 20.26 : It will not be so among you, but whoever desires to become great among you must be your servant. dammit
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
quote:
Plus there's the small entropy monster, who spends his life carrying small objects around the house until he finds a different small object that he prefers. You can tell where he's been by the trail of out-of place objects in surprise cupboards, shelves, and so on.
I love this. A small entropy monster--I have the extra-large economy size one myself, and now I have the right phrase to describe him.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
I'm still not entirely sure if I agree or disagree, but on the Standing With Sweden thread Martin60 knocked the stuffing out of me with this one (particularly the bolded sentence):
quote:
His constituency's confidence cannot fail. Satire and liberal whinging are NOT speaking to power. Cost the opportunity of actually doing social action.
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
On the All Saints thread, "Where are you now?" discussing our changes (or lack of change) in our churchmanship over our lifetimes, no prophet's flag is set so... mentioned making a lot of things out of clay in Sunday School:
quote:
...don't put a penis on a clay Easter bunny unless it can be mistaken for a tail!
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
Sarah G, on how the crucifixion wasn't exactly what people were expecting:
quote:
Originally posted by Sarah G:
It's like ordering a pizza, and having a dead badger delivered.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Simontoad on Martin60's stream-of-consciousness approach to spirituality:
quote:
All theology should be lived like the milk is off and there's no long-life in the cupboard.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Piglet on the Lands of the Southern Cross thread in All Saints on the subject of soup:
"D's definition of a good restaurant is one where they can make a soup that he likes out of ingredients that he doesn't (a notable example having been red pepper and aubergine)."
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
People, people, people, this is a no- brainer. Why did it languish so long uncollected?
quote:
orfeo retorted: quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
This has turned into that most annoying of discussions - where all the current participants agree with each other fundamentally on the core topic, but insist on arguing semantics (probably for imaginary points). And I hate all of you for it.
For my benefit, exude from your tear ducts a quantity of liquid sufficient to fill a watercourse.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Only posted a few minutes ago, but it sums up the national mood perfectly. ArachnidinElmet on the UK Election thread in Hell:
quote:
I'm watching an episode of The Handmaid's Tale to cheer myself up...
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
from Dafyd, long may he wave:
quote:
quote:
You also cleverly avoided my point, which rests on the fact....
Oh if only I had been able to find a point to avoid.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
What if Archimedes had never existed?
We would not have had the old schoolyard joke about you-reeker
That stinks.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
If the snake had offered Eve a brussels sprout, just think of all the trouble it would have saved mankind. Eve would have told the snake where to shove it.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Quetzalcoatl and Callan on the subject of a lady Dr. Who:
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
What bliss! The last great barrier for women, after women doctors, astronauts, prime ministers. Jodie will be terrific.
It will be Bond next, then the U.S. President, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Pope and then, finally, the Leader of the Labour Party.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Gottschalk sums up what I believe should be the ethos of the Ship: quote:
we should perhaps never give up the task of trying to dialogue, discuss and learn, in spite of our convictions and beliefs, and that we all need a healthy dose of distance from ourselves, our beliefs, and everything else, all peppered with humour
That should be nailed to the masthead, at least of Purgatory.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433
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Posted
Quetzalcoatl (are you looking for frequent friggin' flying points down here? ![[Biased]](wink.gif) ... I note Lamb Chopped ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) ed it but clearly has enough frequent flights by courtesy of appearances on this thread)
quote:
I thought that everybody is ignored on the internet. In fact, forums are not really for communication, are they? Well, fortunately, I love reading my own posts. What could be more satisfying? Such wise words.
Though come on ... it should be "fora" ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/
Posts: 18917 | From: "Central" is all they call it | Registered: Sep 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
The Internet said:
"The current entry from the Oxford Dictionary says: The plural of forum is usually spelled forums; the plural fora (as in the original Latin) is chiefly used when talking about a public square in an ancient Roman city."
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
You can pry my latinate plurals out of my cold dead phalanges.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Leorning Cniht, if that wasn't in the Quotes File already, I think it would have to be put here.
edited for spelling of your name
[ 27. July 2017, 21:51: Message edited by: Piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
Brenda Clough in heaven:
quote:
...the number of cat photos on line is essentially as infinite as the mind of God.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
lilbuddha on the Famous Last Posts thread referring to newly created mash-up topic 2017 Celebrity Death Piglet:
quote:
Death Piglet Theatre presents: On Tiny Cloven Hooves
"Oh, what a cuuute little piggy!"
Squeal!
"What?! Nooo!"
Squeal! snort, snuffle, Squeal!
"But I'm too young to d..."
snort
Needed a laugh, made me own. Not even sorry.
Know that I'll be creating a Death Piglet Theatre version of any crime dramas I watch from now on (Law & Order: Porktown? Prime Rib Suspect?). ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
When Kerygmaniacs throw down:
quote:
Originally posted by LutheranChik:
Well, for one thing, Candler School of Theology at Emory isn't exactly Brother Billy Bob's Bible College and School of Hair Design...you can look up his CV if you want. His ideas are also echoed by scholars like Tamara Eskenazi.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
This exchange:
quote:
simontoad:
I wish to advise you all that this was typed with a cat sticking her claws into my left shoulder. Clearly she is an instrument of God's retribution.
quote:
Rossweisse:
Cats are good at that, when it's called for.
A new definition:
Cats: noun, pl - Agents of Gods retribution.
-----
[Yes, I know there is a missing apostrophe, but as a cat owner I do not care ... OW! get off ....]
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881
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Posted
While shopping in Hell , Doc Tor gave us this gem:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
I've been married for 25 years. Speaking truth to power is a necessity.
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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"
Posts: 5430 | From: Caprica City | Registered: Jul 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
This thread popped to the top of the Circus with a six day old quote. Meaning someone posted a quote and then deleted the post. I shall be forever* curious as to what that quote was and why it was deleted. Why the second though, was it nasty, salacious, twisted? All three?
*Well, 15 minutes or so.
[ 08. September 2017, 21:57: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
It was me. I said 'Brave man'. Then it occurred to me that I didn't know whether Doc Tor is a man or a woman and therefore, having kicked myself, I deleted it.
Sorry to disappoint!
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
He is a man. I do not think Soror Magna would have enshrined the quote otherwise.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
In the meantime, genius quotes abound. Like this gem regarding the current Commander in Chief:
quote:
Originally posted by simontoad:
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
Can anyone explain what goes on inside what passes for The Barking Dog's mind?
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
IJ
me mine me mine me mine me mine me mine nice ass me mine me mine me mine me mine screw you arsehole me mine me mine me mine oh she likes me me mine me mine me mine me mine .....
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
Prior to my 2nd marriage my (never married) husband-to-be was briefly concerned that (when asked) I made clear that daughter would always come first. He consulted with two married friends: "is it normal for your wife to put your kids first?". One, a new father with a brand-new baby, pondered the question for a brief moment. The other-- having been a father for several years with a couple of toddlers-- laughed at them both, mocking the new father for not realizing that "you were #2 before the epidural wore off".
Wisdom and truth. The only trick is to know what kind parent and child pair they will grow into to know if there is room in there edgewise for you.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Baptist Trainfan explains the life-cycle of the wire coat-hanger on the Decluttering thread in AS:
quote:
You do realise, don't you, that paper clips are the larval form of metal coat-hangers?
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
I used to watch crap TV (home makeover shows etc) whilst ironing my husband's shirts. He used to explain that I'd rot my brain watching such rubbish, and say that he would never risk his own mighty brain by watching inane T.V. Eventually I realised that I was losing my husband's respect by watching mindless drivel whilst ironing his shirts. But I knew that I was incapable of watching anything intellectually challenging and ironing at the same time.
So I stopped ironing his shirts.
His mighty brain had genuinely not anticipated that as a solution to the problem. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
One of the Greatest. Posts. Ever.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
In a great one-two punch, Rocinante and Alan Cresswell take the description of Brexit to new, er, heights?
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
quote:
Originally posted by Rocinante:
Britain is being pushed over a cliff by fools who think we'll somehow sprout wings during the long plummet to follow.
That's what happens when people live in cloud cuckoo land. They push everyone out of the nest before they can fly, then add a rather bizarre lemming twist by jumping themselves before they fledge.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ThunderBunk:
Stargazer lilies are the imprint of Satan's anus upon the world.
A perfect description!
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
RooK, firing on all eight cylinders in Hell:
“Full of shit doesn't even begin to describe it. It's the faecal neutronium remnant of a collapsed shit-star from its shit-nova.”
I laughed again as I spoke it out loud to myself and the dog. He laughed too.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Jack the Lass in All Saints on why the Almighty will have some explaining to do when she gets to Heaven:
quote:
I may have to add 'slug longevity' to my list of things I wish to ask The Almighty about when I get the chance, along with Donald Trump and wasps.
In fairness, I think Trump may be the work of the other bloke ...
[ 04. December 2017, 18:42: Message edited by: Piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
This exchange in the "Slogans" thread in heaven tickled me:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Have you predestined your life's -and afterlife's-
schedule with the Calvinists?
That was always going to be posted.
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Og, with a nice bit of touché.
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
My Dad always said money is like fairies - they only exist if you believe in them.
A bit short on allowance day, was he?
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
GK with some perspicacious advice on God's justice:
quote:
It might be wise to consider that if we call down justice, it might not be limited to our enemies...
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
In the middle of a philosophical discussion fraught with uncertainty and speculation, a word of solid truth is spoken:
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Yeah. Go ahead and buy that copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
Sophie's World is better.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Deep wisdom from a DH thread on the Bible:
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
Translation, with all the interpretation that implies, is an intrinsic part of the Scriptures.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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