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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
Jimmy B:
quote:
Well I had lunch at a classy restaurant while surrounded by beautiful women discussing ladies' fashion, specifically dresses with wrap around look top bits and the price of Louis Vuitton handbags. As I am a gentleman and a skilled conversationalist, I was able to contribute to the discussion... "Yes. I think that look is very flattering on some ladies" [Thought bubble: Orrr, fuckyeah! That looks so totally hot! More girlies should take the puppies out for a walk!]
I may have to write a book... The gay boyfriend in wolf's clothing or, How to pull Sheilas by feigning disinterest.
Outstanding.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) x100
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
dang you're fast! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Kelly beat me to it by a short head. You're showering sparks these days, which I reckon must be normal for a comet.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I wanted to beat the stampede of folk I knew wanted to quote that. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort in Hell:
quote:
Originally posted by Davy Wavy Morrison:
Sex? What's that?
If you have to ask, you're not mature enough for it. Go play with your biblical action figures.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Starbelly on Film:
quote:
Originally posted by starbelly:
I tried watching Borat last night, but gave up after 40 minutes as it failed to raise a smile even once.
quote:
Also just watched "World Trade Center" and actually laughed more than any other emotion, I must be a heartless bastard...
Neil, you are a special, special man. ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Trudy demonstrating outstanding modesty with a single comma:
quote:
Trudy, Scrumptious Purgatory Host
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
I'm changing my sig, but I wanted to save Davy Wavy's quote for posterity. It's from a larger discussion on cricket that for some reason was going on in Styx. I suspect if you understood cricket this would be less funny; same probably if it was in context (somehow?). I think it's hysterical!
quote:
Even no-balls are usually outside off stump, or even leg stump, going towards silly leg or leg slip, which means bodyline is being applied...
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Comet, correct me if I am mistaken, but don't we have a rule that all posts must be in English?
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
Well said, 206 !
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
So (in a Christian context) "cult" has overtones of a church that has replaced God with something else.
In my anecdotal experience the replacement item can be the bible. I'll leave the horses unexhumed but I'm beginning to believe 'the love of certainty is a root of evil'.
(from the Purgatory thread, "When your church is really a bit like a cult?")
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
RuthW, on raising one's cultural awareness by reading the Ship:
quote:
Honestly, the only reason I know who John Howard is is because Aussies on the Ship bitch about him.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Another candidate for Ship's tagline:
quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy B:
That's so mean.
I wish I'd said that.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
Zappa made me smile in the "When I was your age" thread in Heaven:
quote:
It's such a relief to know I can't save the world. Or even relate to it.
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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Petrified
Ship’s ballast
# 10667
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Posted
Mad Geo of Comet
quote:
Your Alaskan, Of course you'll survive in a breakdown. You'd probably know how to eat bark and catch a weasel with your bare teeth and cook it over a fire you lit with two rocks and a pair of high heels.
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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
SoF a "prick against Bigotterie"
Posts: 540 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2005
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Izzybee
Shipmate
# 10931
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Posted
Spiffy has given me the new mantra for my current flip-flopping crappy version of faith:
quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy da WonderSheep:
instead of saying, "OK, people are pulling stupid stunts in the name of Almighty God, I'm going to do some good and be the best man I can be in the name of Almighty God to balance it out", he tossed the Baby Jesus out with the bathwater.
I have a feeling I've done that lately...
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Hate filled bitch musings...
Posts: 1336 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Some moments just need to be saved for posterity:
quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
quote:
Originally posted by scarletpumpernickel:
So, in that light, I am viewing with untempered disgust the fact that this forum allows a private board dedicated to bondage and sado-masochism[snip]
You can shiver me timbers all day long, but in no uncertain terms, these people need to walk the plank.
Yes. They should be punished! Punished Very Severely! Punished, I say! Punished without regard to mercy...
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
Mousethief in the "I'm not easily offended..." thread in Purg (as opposed to the one in Styx and the one in Hell ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ):
quote:
Not that my opinion matters a rat's ass, but by symmetry neither does yours.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) Sig line, anyone?
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Some moments just need to be saved for posterity:
quote:
Yes. They should be punished! Punished Very Severely! Punished, I say! Punished without regard to mercy...
Thanks Kelly (and WD), this made me laugh hard!
[ 20. August 2007, 06:42: Message edited by: comet ]
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Once again, from The Comet in hellion mode!
"doesn't the idea of a whole pack of comet-wolves just sound like too much fun?"
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
I noticed a chill 'round the ol' inferno and found this:
quote:
Originally posted by dolphy:
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Stare into my eyes. you're feeling very relaxed. all your stresses melt away.
repeat after me: Hell is nice. It's warm here. I belong with the cool kids in Hell...
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif) It is warm here. I belong with the cool spankers in Hell.
Just for the record!
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
OMG, I am not worthy!
(one day I will be a hell host, oh yes!)
[ 20. August 2007, 22:06: Message edited by: dolphy ]
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
comet, once again telling it like it is! :
You'll all just have to start calling me "Your Majesty Queen Creature of the Night"
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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El Leona
Apprentice
# 12834
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Posted
"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying
Ouch!
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"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic..."
Posts: 10 | From: Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Jul 2007
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
From Tina in Heaven: quote:
Legend has it that when Victoria and David Beckham were married they had pennants emblazoned with their initials, and couldn't understand why everyone over a certain age was sniggering.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote:
Spiffy, Offended thread in Styx:
Is there anything more to discuss? The OPer has said, "OMG ur not Xtian!" the denziens have replied, "That's nice, who are you again?" and the world has gone back to equilibrium.
[ 23. August 2007, 02:18: Message edited by: Campbellite ]
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Rarely do I quote an entire post, but I was very moved by this from Irreverentkit:
quote:
While slave owners were reading epistles (Slaves, obey your masters) to their slaves, somehow the slaves that could read got a hold of the Exodus story, and the words of Jesus.
They believed the core of the teaching, that God cares for the widowed and orphaned, that God wants to set people free, and that God died as beaten and abused as any slave ... for that.
The gospel is for underdogs. Underdogs who hear the Gospel, realize this truth. You can be a slave on a plantation, a gay person in the closet or a kid bullied day in and day out at school ...
It keeps you going. It gives you hope.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
...and by this from Mousethief:
quote:
And as a very good preacher once said to me, "If you love your wife more than you love God, it's not because you love your wife too much. It's because you don't love God enough." Without going into the sticky problems differentiating love from indulgence, neediness, etc. -- speaking of real love and not its substitutes, in other words: we never love anybody on this earth as much as they deserve. The balance can't be made right by loving other people less, but only by loving God more.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
RooK is just so good at his job.
quote:
I hope you get stuck in an elevator with piped in Boy Band muzak.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
From the Daily Offices Refreshed thread, which recently went into a tangent regarding cats... um, assisting during daily prayer.
quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
Cats can recognize worship -- they got enough of it in Ancient Egypt. What they can't recognize is when it's not directed towards them.
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
ken in the 'Men and Women' thread in Purg
quote:
You don't have to die to lose the evolutionary race, you just have always end up crying in the kitchen at parties
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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rugasaw
Shipmate
# 7315
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Posted
ken is on a roll. Posted in Pugatory on the human-animal hybrids thread.
quote:
We vertebrates are basically worms lying on our backs and talking out of our arseholes.
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Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children. -Unknown
Posts: 2716 | From: Houston | Registered: Jun 2004
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Triple Tiara
Ship's Papabile
# 9556
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Posted
He certainly is! Too long to post here in full, but this must be the best account of Scottish history, ever!
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I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.
Posts: 5905 | From: London, England | Registered: May 2005
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Welease Woderick in the AS: Little Britan thread
quote:
If I go to the office and grab the service manager by any part of his anatomy that seems handy and slap him about, in a Quakerly manner, until he gets his team to go and fix it would that be an unChristian act?
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
PhilA on extra-virgin olive oil (hydrogenated Hell thread):
Bollocks to all this 'Super-extra-never-even-seen-a-picture-of-a-willy-virgin olive oil drizzled slowly over a desiccated Frenchman's left tit' crap.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
ken again, on education
English secondary schools are not very nice places. They manage to combine a level of intrusive discipline which any decent person would find offensive with the failure of that discipline to actually improve behaviour.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
OliviaG gets to the core of St. Chrysosdom's prayer:
quote:
Where two or three are gathered in His name, it's potluck.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
I don't post there often, but sometimes I feel that the prayer thread is the real heart and work of the Ship, and all the rest an entertaining playground.
It's an amazing feeling knowing that there are people praying for me all over the world. There have been times when I have posted, then been able to sleep knowing that someone, somewhere will be praying.
Huia
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Triple Tiara:
He certainly is! Too long to post here in full, but this must be the best account of Scottish history, ever!
I would say, if you think Scots history began with the Stuarts and ended with the Stuarts, or even centred totally on the Stuarts while they were on the throne, that you suffered Anglican Amnesia, except you are RC, which I thought gave immunity from that particular form.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Triple Tiara
Ship's Papabile
# 9556
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Posted
Och, my blood is Scottish. Admittedly I have not lived in Scotland, but tis still Scots I am. I do not have the prejudices you imagine. But you must admit ken's was a good yarn, no?
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I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.
Posts: 5905 | From: London, England | Registered: May 2005
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Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
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Posted
I liked it!
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"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Triple Tiara:
Och, my blood is Scottish. Admittedly I have not lived in Scotland, but tis still Scots I am. I do not have the prejudices you imagine. But you must admit ken's was a good yarn, no?
Yes a good yarn but about the Stuart Dynasty, not about Scottish History. I believe a certain John Knox and a few too many martyrs (on both sides) were happened during this dynasty in Scotland and didn't these Stuart's get to be kings and queens of England as well.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
Blessed to be able to claim Scottish ancestry myself, I too was delighted by Ken's fine yarn. Dame Antonia Fraser's Mary, Queen of Scots (fascinating but not nearly so much fun) did give the impression that John Knox really knew how to spoil a cocktail party, but nowadays everybody's got one or two friends like that whom we invite anyway because we like them for other reasons.
Best wishes,
Mary, who looked at portraits in Scotland of people from long ago with my same surname, and was amazed to notice that they all had a nose just like mine! Either the members of our clan have all had this funny nose down the generations, or those folks should have found a better portrait-painter.
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
Rather than discussing the relative merits of someone's post during a discussion, can we please instead keep this thread for showing exmaples of fine quotes
thanks
Wet Kipper
Circus Host
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Foxymoron has a lightbulb moment, in the Quantum Mechanics and God thread in Purg:
quote:
I feel giddy, in a conceptual sort of way. Thanks very much.
Yer all me besht mates, hic. ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
Golden Key, on Quantum Mechanics and God and Stuff:
quote:
I don't think anyone knows all that much. There are lots of puzzle pieces; and, since we have zillions of ideas of what the whole puzzle looks like, we disagree on how to put it together. We even disagree on whether it's all one puzzle, and whether all the pieces are REAL puzzle pieces.
Deep, but shallow. I love it.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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birdie
fowl
# 2173
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Posted
Rook:
The bad people who want to kill you include me. Except I want to do it with a spoon.
Signature material, except I'm too nice. ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
From churchgeek, in Purg:
quote:
Sin doesn't scare God. God scares sin
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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Mertseger
Faerie Bard
# 4534
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy da WonderSheep:
I always give such things a pass at big events, though. Because I believe at big events the MC says, "We can't please everyone, so let's be sure to include at least one thing for everyone of every churchmanship to be kinda cranky about. Then they'll be united in Christian irk.
"United In Christian Irk."
Now, there's a worthy candidate for an SoF marketing tag-line.
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Go and be who you are:
The Body of Christ,
The Goddess of Body,
The Manifest Song of Faerie.
Posts: 1765 | From: Oakland, CA, USA | Registered: May 2003
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Eliab on hair removal, in Hell:
quote:
I don't know why women should not want to look as if they were mammals. Particularly as the tits are such a giveaway.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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