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Originally posted by Yerevan:
That pretty much sums it up. I'm not going to start on the Vatican until I manage to be something other than "a disgrace and a blot on Christendom" myself. That could take a while...

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The thread should be about over, the cherry is on the cake Foaming at the Mouth has given his two cents on Catholics, he always eventually shows up. Here Foamy Foamy Foamy!! Come out come out wherever you are! It's 2,000 variations on why he has no use for Catholic folks. It's kinda like pouring maple syrup or treacle on the kitchen floor and wait for the ants.

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Originally posted by Spiffy da WonderSheep:
My mother always told me a true lady could (and would) completely eviscerate a person without resorting to physical violence. I try to live up to her teachings as much as possible, but sometimes find the directness of a well-loaded handbag to various portions of anatomy much more satisfying.

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Originally posted by churchgeek:
I have no problem agreeing with the Pope, when he's right.

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The chains are tightening around the city! We are under siege! Our way of life is in danger! They are closing down our pubs and replaing them with cheap plastic copies of airport catering outlets. Resist Starbucks! Death to the Franchises!

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Frankly, I don't mind being called a heretic and a schismatic. Or Schismatick. Or whatever.

As long as you aren't coming to burn me at the stake, I'm content to let the Lord sort it out. (Get away with that gasoline...)

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I despise bad trolls...they are worth playing tether troll with.

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Originally posted by Iole Nui:
Patience followed by violence seems to be the way to handle wet electrical goods.

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I'd rather have a large bar of Dairy Milk without the plastic packaging. You get to be more eco-friendly and get more chocolate.

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Christ is risen. Sometimes I'm buggered if I know what it all means, but it seems pretty good to me.

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Then I daydream of how, in the spirit of Christian charity, I could reach out to the poor thief... and kick the crap out of him.

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Life is just too damn short for crap coffee. Get the good stuff.

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Originally posted by ken:

First lunch. Then party. Then bed. On any day of the week.

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Originally posted by Autenrieth Road:
"Simeon and Levi, the two of you suck so much you're together just about maybe worth one son, so I'm going to tell the two of you together straight out: you suck. You thought I'd forgotten that slaughtering of the Shechemites thing, didn't you? No such luck. You're not going to get to live gathered together like your brothers' descendants; no, you're going to be scattered all over."

Genesis 49:5-7

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I have to admit seeing her use canned minced beef feels like catching the Pope with a porn mag.

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They didn't delete it; as soon as you understood the post, it disappeared from sight.

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Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Hugal, in a thread on a well-known TV chef (Delia, for thr brits amongst us).

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I have to admit seeing her use canned minced beef feels like catching the Pope with a porn mag.

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AG

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But -- I will accept parents' "faith-only, prayer-only" stance about their kids' health, when they also stand and pray over their plumbing, their cars and their pest control problems. Rather than calling a plumber, a mechanic and The Bug Man, I mean

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Yes, but are we completely sure RooK isn't the Pope?

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At the very least the Popemobile would be cool once again.

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What kind of sockpuppet personality do you think the Pope might assume on The Ship? If poster on The Ship is a secret presentment of the Supreme Pontiff, it's Siné.
...
The Pope might secretly desire to express crassness and vulgarity, but I doubt he wants to pretend to be stupid.

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Originally posted by duchess:
I hated Moulin Rouge all the painful way through. It was so dull, I picked off a hang nail.

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Originally posted by Campbellite:
It's all fun and games until someone tries to immanentize the eschaton.

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Oh dear. The fewer people care about something, the deeper they seem to care. Hooray for blogs.

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Four stupids don't make a smart.

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I don't care if you carry your bollocks in a wheelbarrow. If you wanna be called Sheila, it's "Yes, Ma'm" for me.

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From Gort, naturally

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Screw today. I'm going for ice cream.

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Originally posted by Linguo:
It's a pretty damn proficient attention whore who can have a five-page thread still running more than a week after his departure.

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Girls on Film:

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Originally posted by duchess:
I hated Moulin Rouge all the painful way through. It was so dull, I picked off a hang nail.

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Yay! I made it through here with something true from my past!

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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Didja like the Duran Duran reference? Didja, didja?

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OH MY GOSH I missed that! Awesome!

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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

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If you were to fall overboard while I was at the wheelhouse, the only reason the Ship might back up would be to try to hit you with the propeller.

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See, I find just the opposite. The church is one of the few places where you do find the uncool, the lonely, the odd. Where the first are last and the last are first. Where the burger flipper worships next to the accountant. Where Little Old Ladies rule the world.

If my church isn't like that, it isn't following Jesus. And it's up to me to do my bit to change that.

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Originally posted by Chorister:
Actually I quite like being boring. It's fun.

You gotta problem with that?

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There is not much less welcoming to your neighbours than running away into the desert, locking yourself in a hut, and refusing to talk to anyone except angels and lizards for six days out of seven.

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Sometimes the clueless among us have contributions to make that we'd recognize if we thought about it for a while and talked to them about what they might like to do. And when the only contribution someone can make is their presence, that becomes an extremely valuable gift to be given and received.

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CRACKS HOSTLY WHIP

This thread has exceeded the allowable level of stupid per given thread and must be annihilated, as per Ship Directive 238.77 (Hell) subsection b.

Thank you for your cooperation.
THREAD CLOSED.

comet,
HELLHOST

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Originally posted by tomb:

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Originally posted by Campbellite:

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Originally posted by tomb:


...recognize a metaphor ....

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What's a metaphor?
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It's a place to keep your cows.

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I don't keep cows in my metaphor. I keep my cows in the basement. I'm not gonna tell you what I keep in my metaphor.

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Fuckwits, like the poor, are with us always.

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Originally posted by Rossweisse:
On the plus side, the narcissi are lasting a lot longer than they usually do.

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That's pretty impressive. Nice work, God!

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Yes all hymn books need some dross if only because we cannot all agree what the dross is.

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The word 'indefinable' may be definable, but that which is indefinable is not definable, by definition.

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Originally posted by BWSmith:
I think I'll go start a thread on how much I like Pepsi, just so I can hear how much LC likes Coke.

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The world's most powerful national leader's daughter was overcome with compassion. “One perceives this to be one of the plebeian cuties” She said. Joinette scampered up at this point and said, “Would it pleasure One if I were to acquire the services of a Pleb to attend to this Junior Pleb's needs, perchance?” (A wily young lass, that. Pride of the Tribe).

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"Would it pleasure One..." ?!!

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Erin & Friend; Been there, done that; Ruth musical

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Originally posted by Barnabas62:
People who are sure they are right and others are wrong don't necessarily make as much effort to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

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Well, that should put a stop to those shipmates outside the UK who want to buy half a ton of knitted zebras.

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Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Inconsequential tangent: I would dearly love, some day, to find a culture where any ambiguous situations were automatically assumed to be about accounting. Ah, says she, in hushed tones. If you really knew what went on with that expense account....

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Originally posted by Faust:
Dear Christian God,

You don’t know me- I’m an atheist.

God, if You exist, which You probably don’t let’s face it, I wonder if You’d be omnikind enough to omniignore the fact that I don’t go to church or say those Hale Merrys or stuff, and never ‘open my door’ to Your baby boy Manuel who is Alive not dead, even though he knocketh if I would but listen? Please would You turn an all-seeing blind eye to the fact that I don’t believe in You and sometimes even try to convince others that You’re not actually real, and still not forsake me when I do open my heart by asking You to help number six just a little bit in the two-twenty at Kempton so that it may run quicker than all the other horses that You created without any evolution or anything, just like that. And also, please would You accept my apologies for using your son’s name in vain the other night- that can hardly have been appropriate can it? Oh, and sorry about all the reasonable doubt, God, but it’s not really my fault when You keep yourself so secret all the time and made those fossils is it? I’m really, really sorry for what I did to that Gideon bible at school when they gave them out, and hope You will find it within Yourself to forgive me someday. That’s got to be the worst sort of Karma, hasn’t it? Sorry for saying Karma in a prayer, too. Anyway, praise You for Christmas and all the presents and things, and thanks very much for killing the devil. One day I’ll definitely become a Christian (just before I die- if I get the chance! Touch wood, eh!), so if possible, please could I have a Porsche in advance?

Lots of love, Faust.

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So to reiterate, the Bible is, according to inerrancy, a book that floats 6 inches off the ground.

(DISCLAIMER: Provided that the definition of "floats" and "6 inches" is systematically clarified so that it only APPEARS to be sitting on the ground, which should not be mistaken for not floating at a height of 6 inches, given that the divinely-inspired authors of the Bible probably conceived of an "inch" as something very, very tiny, and that the normal separation between touching objects at the molecular level could technically fit a working definition of "floating".)

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