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Originally posted by Loveheart:
I was responsible for this the other day:

The wonderful thing about Jesus
Knowing Jesus is a wonderful thing
His heart is full wide and open
He's our Saviour our Lord and our King
He's bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
Fun fun fun fun fun
The wonderful thing about Jesus is
That he's the only one!

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Originally posted by Faust:

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Originally posted by Call me Numpty:
The problem is that Atheists have no idea that even the air they breathe belongs to God.

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Every time we sigh, we give it back.

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Man, that four-line sig rule sucks sometimes:

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Originally posted by Loveheart:
I was responsible for this the other day:

The wonderful thing about Jesus
Knowing Jesus is a wonderful thing
His heart is full wide and open
He's our Saviour our Lord and our King
He's bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
Fun fun fun fun fun
The wonderful thing about Jesus is
That he's the only one!

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I can't decide if it's your souls I want or just some yard work.

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My understanding of what Jesus said, obviously paraphrased, goes something like this:


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there is one God.

Now that I am here, you all can stop doing that crazy Old Testament violent shit. I am the way, the truth - not spooky boogyman stories from Leviticus.

Grow the fuck up.

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or something like that.

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Gosh. thanks, gang!

from the same Demons Hell Thread:

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Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Gather ye garlic while ye may,
While demons are a-flying,
For the same thread that grows today
Tomorrow may be dying.

The glorious host o’ hell, the comet,
The more stressed she’s a getting,
The sooner will our race be run
And nearer we’re to setting.

Then be not shy, but use your time,
And while ye may, be silly;
For having lost but once her mind
She’ll slap us all to Philly.

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I love a good Robert Herrick satire.

The last stanza is the best.

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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I have to admit, my first reaction to the first link was, "YIKES, people will be able to see my ASS!"

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When you're elsewhere as a shipmate you're representing us to the world, and if you're acting like the pathetic pricks you all really are it makes other people think we aren't the cosy little fucking lovefest we strive to be

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I tend to think that families come about through love, and it's a tad difficult to legislate for love. Experience suggests, however, that things such as houses and incomes are handy for families. Politicians tend to start moralising about 'family values' when they've given up trying to do anything substantial in respect of these former things.

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If its not the Youth of Today its asylum seekers or bendy buses or bishops or bishops wives or Catholics or chavs or child protection services or China or council estates or dropped aitches or Estuary English or falling house-prices or French or Germans or Godless Evolutionists or Gordon Brown or greengrocers or high oil prices or hip-hop or hoodies or insensitive church restoration or Iranians or Irish or Jews or journalists or Ken Livingstone or kids who cycle on the pavement or Kossovans or liberals or Londoners or loony-left councils or low oil prices or misused apostrophes or mixed bathing or mixed choirs or modern art or modern liturgy or Mullahs or oil taxation or paedophiles or Palestinians or Political Correctness or Protestasnts or public transport or queers or rising house-prices or Scots or social security or social services or social workers or socialists or speed cameras or split infinitives or strikers or tax or teachers or terrorists or the asians or the bin-men or the blacks or the Channel tunnel or the courts or the EU or the foreigners or the Fundamentalists or the immigrants or the Miners or the Muslims or the schools or trade unions or Turks or vegetarians or women priests.

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Originally posted by Esmeralda:
Ken, in the Purg thread on whether conservatives are happier than liberals:
Ken, you have surpassed even yourself.

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I blame the parents myself.

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The popularity of the Left Behind books does not for a moment make me believe I am missing anything by not reading them.

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Even though it is not mentioned in Scripture, I do believe Paul turned down the offer of a Nissan 4x4. I did hear that he prefered to walk as that meant he could talk to the common people.

There was an occassion when Timothy had got a new bycycle and gave Paul a lift on the handlebar to some city in Syria.

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I can't believe that a loving God could create someone this stupid.

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I'm going to have to remember that one

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Screw today. I'm going for ice cream.

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A Hellhost can't leave you lot long enough to get a good night's sleep and trust you not to to start cramming veggies up eachother's backsides.

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...but I have sat too often in a pew watching an incumbent place a surreal construction on Hebrews, easily avoided if they could but understand New Testament Greek, and have watched fewer episodes of Star Trek.

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Originally posted by Campbellite:

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Originally posted by Geneviève:
The point is to develop an attitude of giving thankfully, not to nit-pick.

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The Lord loveth a cheerful giver,
but He accepteth from a grouch.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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To leave, or not to leave: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous Shipmates,
Or take a lifeboat 'cross this sea of troubles,
And by departing, end them? To leave: to speak
No more; and by mere silence end
The heart-ache and the thousand Shiply shocks
That Max is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To leave, be still;
Shut up: to be forgot: ay, there's the rub;
For in that landlocked life what grief may come
When we have shuffled off this foolish Ship,
Must give us pause: the Internet
Doth make calam’ty of too public life;
And who would bear the whips and scorns of RooK,
Amanda's wrong, great Dyfrig’s contumely,
The pangs of despised wit, the calls to Hell,
The insolence of poets and the pats
Upon the head, with “Be a good boy, now”--
When he himself might his quietus make
By staying gone? who would mocking bear,
To grunt and sweat through an expanding thread,
But that the dread of tackling “Real Life,”
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
Few travellers return, frightens the will
And makes us rather bear the ills on board
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus Real Life doth make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

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Thanks for preserving that, Twilight.

Esmeralda proposes a new heresy:

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Originally posted by Esmeralda:
Kelvinism: Many are cold, but few are frozen.

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Originally posted by duchess:
Fuck, that was good.

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Originally posted by mousethief:
You are presumptuous and rude, and I hate the competition.

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Originally posted by Gort:

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Originally posted by Rossweisse:
...When is Jeffs eligible for parole?

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It doesn't matter. Jeffs will die in prison when Bubba sticks a shiv between his ribs.

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
IMHO, this is one of the funniest things Mousethief has ever said, ever.

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Originally posted by mousethief:
You are presumptuous and rude, and I hate the competition.

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Can I count this as #5 and move on to 6?

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Well, it's gotten to two pages and 96 posts which shows how few people actually enjoy their work.

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Originally posted by RooK:

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Originally posted by Squirrel:
Am I the only one to think that Bush's allegedly deep Christianity is a bullshit line?

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While I too might harbour such suspicions, I think that open speculation in that direction is ultimately fruitless. It's a low game to argue the nature of how another person's faith appears to themselves.

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This is something some Christians should have framed and re-read time and time again.

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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

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Originally posted by Laura:
Tragic, that's what it is. Our Lord himself said, in the parable of the sheep and goats: "I was a billionnaire and lost 30% of my net worth in the economic slowdown caused in part by my friends the sub-prime-mortgage investors around the corner and you ensured I didn't have to sell my Rolex."

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Speechless at this one.

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Originally posted by mousethief:
Choose your strategic withdrawal carefully. Onan was smote by the Lord when he pulled out.

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Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
I once asked the cashier at Starbucks in a loud, carrying sort of voice if the yellow diagonal lines down the side of the building meant 'SUV parking only'.

She snickered, but none of the blond babes in the store even turned a bleached hair.

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Originally posted by Foolhearty:
Silly people. The obvious next step for Obama is to offer the VP job to Chelsea, and appoint her parents as ambassadors to Outer Berzerkistan.

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Who, after all, likes having a decent theological debate interrupted with statements about God?

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Originally posted by ozowen:
I used to believe in reincarnation, but that was in a previous life when I was a Buddhist.

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Originally posted by Foaming Draught:
I've had it with baptismal regeneration. It don't work. A couple of days ago, I baptised my mobile phone in a lavatory bowl and it still isn't regenerate.

I've adopted another with the same number (what we term in the trade, Original SIM) while an electronics hobbyist shop lays hands on the immersee. I don't have a sure and certain hope that its light will ever shine again in the world.

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Some people will only ever learn under the stern tutelage of a swinging bar stool.

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Last week, I'm almost laughed during the reading, but it was nothing to do with the *words* on the page, but rather the ladybug that was wondering all around the book as I was reading from it! I almost felt guilty when I came to a page turn.

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Also on the way home we were "mooned" by three little boys on the side of the winding road. In keeping with the half-moon above us all, the boys were in profile -- three shiny golden half-butts awash with starlight and moonlight and halogen headlamp light. Ah, beauties of New Mexico, will you never cease?

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As the great St Pikmynos once said, "A donkey in the river eats no aubergines." Actually, that might lose something in translation, but you get the idea.

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I am going to jump the gun on parsley sage and start applauding NOW, because the urge to yell "John Cusack!!!!!" has just been choking me for the last day or so...

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I mean, how often are Shipmates choked by the urge to yell "John Cusack!!!!!" ?!

Well, I thought it was funny

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Erin & Friend; Been there, done that; Ruth musical

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Sometimes it's difficult to strike exactly the right balance with "I respect you as a person but you're wrong and are going to burn in Hell."

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Do you get donuts in heaven for every time you refuse to back down when you're in the right?

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Plus I love the idea of donuts in heaven

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Screw today. I'm going for ice cream.

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SoF - The only organization that allows one mission statement per member

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