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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
From hatless, on RooK's even-handedness:
quote:
He makes his arse to shine upon the righteous and the unrighteous.
[ 13. July 2008, 01:46: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lynn MagdalenCollege
Shipmate
# 10651
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Posted
From the quadruple Hell call, this building exchange struck me as quite wonderful:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
I'd steer clear of jlg though, the old battle ax beats groundhogs with shovels.
If anyone ever said something like this about me, I'd have it in my sig line so quickly you would smell something burning.
Actually, it was a baby groundhog.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif) ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Erin & Friend; Been there, done that; Ruth musical
Posts: 6263 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2005
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Originally posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard in the Gene Robinson thread in purg...
quote:
In polite, liberal, open society it is no one else's business what goes on behind closed doors.
The Church isn't 'polite society'.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
Two things that have brought joy to my week:
Firenze on the "Can't be arsed" food thread in Heaven:
quote:
THE ROAD TO ARMAGEDDON IS PAVED WITH READYMEALS.
ken on the "State Funeral for Margaret Thatcher" thread in Purg:
quote:
God is in the business of saving sinners. Even Tories.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
If the hole is large enough and there's enough force behind it, I imagine you can shove just about anything through just about any opening.
It's only naughty when taken out of context.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
Comet of course, with perfect comic timing even in a text based medium!
(On the 'what job would you really want to do' thread in Heaven)
quote:
I'd like to be empress of my own moderately-sized island.
Australia, perhaps.
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"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy:
quote:
Originally posted by Zwingli:
But surely being a priest implies having some authority over others?
You seem to have confused the order of the priesthood with the office of Altar Guild President.
I can't believe I'm the first one here with this gem from Spiffy.
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
quote:
Posted by Sandemaniac in Eccles
While I don't think you could describe the whole thing as Arts and Crafts - it is by the senior Gilbert-Scott, and comes across as rather like Oxford's Keble College on dodgier laudanum - St Michael and All Angels in Lyndhurst, Hampshire, has windows by Morris and by Burne-Jones. The latter has a strawberry-blonde Jesus... very Victorian!
I thought this gem from the Arts & Crafts churches thread deserved a wider audience.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
AnnaB does a nice little parody on the "Broad Church" thread.
quote:
It's a church of sinners, a church of saints,
It's a church of bishops and syncophants,
Though GAFCON may deride,
still it can't be denied
It's a broad church after all!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by hatless:
I would point, for justification, to the feeding of the 5,000 and the 4,000, and all the baskets full of left-overs. I think this is how it is with God. Sometimes God's followers get worried about running out, or God getting dirty. But they shouldn't.
Amen, amne, and amen. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
From HangerQueen, about the latest idiot making headlines:
quote:
According to Wikipedia, he claims to be both Jesus Christ and the Anti-Christ. Doesn't that mean he should immediately disappear in a burst of gamma rays?
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Avalon and Foaming Draught, on clergy careers:
quote:
Originally posted by Avalon:
So, is it defrocked or unfrocked if you jump before you're got?
I think one is said to have frocked off.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Roundaboutly, Gill H in Heaven has quoted this great bit of wordplay from John Donne in Purg:
quote:
... it's going to be a fiasco, and I don't want to be there when it fiasses.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
Sioni Sais, responding to Trudy about selecting cluess young celebs for the Death Pool:
quote:
Trudy, it's like shooting into a flock of starlings. You're going to hit something, but it won't be the starling you aimed at.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
Mechtilde, on the "Witness my rear end" thread:
quote:
Other than bumper stickers and urine, there's gotta be a better way to mark my space.
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Timothy the Obscure on the Kindergarchy thread in Purg:
(I think) the article is a great illustration of the journalistic definition of "trend": two (similar) anecdotes and a deadline.
Thanks Tim.
ps: I'm in the quotes file again! Two in four years!
eta: pps: post immediately above (Mechtilde's) is definitely
[ 01. August 2008, 19:39: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
angelfish speaks to the alien nature of Christians on the Purg thread, "Witness My Rearend":
quote:
Unfortunately subtlety is not a trait to be found in many Christians, or indeed humans...
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Ken's in good form, re writing the book of proverbs
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard:
Man proposes...
... and woman looks embarrassed for a few seconds and then tells him that she respects him very much and he knows he is in the shit.
That's from this post on the How Evangelical do you have to be...
Jengie
[ 07. August 2008, 15:59: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Posted by jlg here.
There is a lot more to true Christianity than simply screaming "I love you God" and getting all excited and doing Bible Study.
Would make a good sig ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Monologue form Exodus Non-Stop: God has a melt-down over Sabbath-breaking:
quote:
Originally posted by Bullfrog.:
Exodus 16:27-30
ARGHGHGHGHGHGH! How long am I going to have to repeat myself! How long will you thick-headed people insist upon ignoring me and refusing to keep my commandments! Look! I, THE LORD, have given you a Sabbath! See? S-A-B-B-A-T-H! Sabbath! Do you really need to be reminded to take a break every week? Is it that hard to do NOTHING for 24 hours? Do you suffer from congenital workaholism or something? Look, I give to you enough food on the 6th day to cover both days 6 and 7. You do not need to forage on the 7th day. Just sit tight and take a break like you're told!
So the people rested on the 7th day.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Listen up, Haters: the Ship IS community. Observe:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Antisocial Alto:
Whenever I hear the word "phenomenon" I hear it to the tune of the Muppets song "Mah Na Mah Na".
Phenomenon, doo doooo de doo-doo
Phenomenon, doo doo-doo doo
I'M NOT ALONE!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
From Johnny S. on a post he didn't make after all--and why:
quote:
I thought about putting "1st century Christians with a Jewish heritage" ... but it died the death of a thousand qualifications.
[ 19. August 2008, 02:57: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Listen up, Haters: the Ship IS community. Observe:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Antisocial Alto:
Whenever I hear the word "phenomenon" I hear it to the tune of the Muppets song "Mah Na Mah Na".
Phenomenon, doo doooo de doo-doo
Phenomenon, doo doo-doo doo
I'M NOT ALONE!
Thank you. Now I'm gonna start doing that. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
You are experiencing a movement of the Spirit, my sister.
Anyhow...
I encourage you all to simply sit back and bask in the beauty of this:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
I hate people who don't obey rules that I happen to obey. It makes me want to key the side of their car. (This would be residents at my building who park in the 'visitor' slots, for starters.)
I hate people who block traffic in front of Starbucks because their passenger is just running in to get a cup of coffee. What the hell do you think all the people who bothered to pull into parking places are doing, you SUV-driving asshole?
I hate people who take the moral high ground in ethical conversations when I know for a fact they are paying hustlers for sex - said financial proceeds of which are probably promptly converted into drugs.
There are plenty of other people I hate but I can't think of the details right this second other than people younger than me and older than me, richer than me and poorer than me, prettier than me and uglier than me, more liberal than me and more conservative than me - pretty much every one who isn't exactly like me, come to think of it.
And people who don't get their eyebrows waxed. I hate them too.
Thank you.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Janine, on the raising of Lazarus from Lazarus' point of view:
quote:
Sometimes we've got to remind ourselves that there's more to living than life.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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PrettyFly
Ship's sunbather
# 13157
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Posted
From the incomparable Lamb Chopped, in Purg:
quote:
Maybe we could give God credit for a little common sense and assume that, immediately upon death, we are not likely to "wake up" to the faces of our arch-enemies waving "Welcome to heaven!" banners.
I don't know whether to ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) or
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Screw today. I'm going for ice cream.
Posts: 1797 | From: Where the sun keeps shining and where the weather suits my clothes | Registered: Nov 2007
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
mousethief in Hell on the squabble about the name "America" as in United States of: quote:
Look, the time to complain about the use of "America" for a single country was 1776, okay? The complaints desk has long been closed and dismantled. You missed your chance. Get over it.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
I had this from an alto in the choir. And altos never lie. They don't have the imagination.
Another gem from the inimitable Sine, on the TICTH thread
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Y'know, Trudy? You're absolutely right.
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
Oh my. Dissing Bonnie Tyler. What has the world come to??
Let me tell you, there is no life experience more raw, more honest, more heartbreaking than sitting in your living room playing the 45 of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" over and over and over and over really loudly while on the other side of the duplex wall the guy you thought you loved is entertaining his new flame as you quietly weep in your darkened living room, alone with Bonnie and your four-inch high permed hair and your acid-wash jeans and your shattered dreams ...
Like everything else, it has its proper context.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
Thank you Kelly... I had secret dreams of being immortalized in the Quotes file for that one. Because I'm sure I'm not the only one.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Yeah. I'm still smarting because I invented the phrase 'Anointing Cooties' on the Florida thread and didn't make it here. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I live to serve.
From the "Fire Tunnel" thread:
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
My church had a wedding recently, and at the end of the evening celebration, everyone lined up in 2 rows, formed an arch and the couple ran through it on their way out of the building. As they did so, we prayed our individual prayers for the couple, whether silently or out loud. It was a fun way to wish them well as they left.
If that's the sort of thing being described, I have no problems with it, as long as no-one is put under pressure to do it (as prayer ministry for claustrophobia, it might not be the best method!)
If, on the other hand, it's a way to catch Anointing Cooties from the special people up front, then ewwww.
(BTW, I admit it - I invented the phrase 'Anointing Cooties' with the hope of being chosen for the SoF Quotes File ...)
****
****
(P.S. I've only done this on rare, special occasions where I felt the interests of Ship Canon overrode my natural humbleness and modesty, but I have quoted myself a couple of times, with accompanying apologies for my vanity. But heck, if the Teeming Millions can't recognise brilliance when they see it, what's a girl to do? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
I think if you do it constantly, though, it gets annoying.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
...but this one is Firenze. And Huey Lewis would agree...
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
And what is this 'love is a construct' blithering? Love is an emotion, love is an instinct - try getting between a bear and her cubs and explaining that's she disembowelling you for a construct.
[ 02. September 2008, 15:25: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Gildas, beautifully pointing out a distinction:
quote:
Incidentally, I have known love and I have known lust and trust me - the poetry and the prose of the flesh are two quite different things.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Triple Tiara
Ship's Papabile
# 9556
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Posted
Lietuvos Sv. Kazimieras posits an opinion and coins a new phrase in a discussion on Americans and travel:
quote:
maybe your air miles vary
very droll!
[ 10. September 2008, 00:04: Message edited by: Triple Tiara ]
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I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.
Posts: 5905 | From: London, England | Registered: May 2005
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
From "the coiled spring", on the thread about breaking JH Newman's body up for relics:
"Is it not wonderul that as Anglicans are still arguing about gay bishops, those nice boys in Rome have had a gay cardinal and now consider having a gay saint..
Eat your heart out Gene"
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
Now I'm hearing people say they like the Palin/ McCain ticket for president because they support "family values" and I don't think they're talking about McCain's choice to leave his crippled wife for a hot chick, young enough to be his daughter.
From the thread about churches telling people how to vote. I really didn't expect politics to inspire something memorable.
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I believe the appropriate response to the following is "SNAP!":
(On the "Godly break-up lines" thread)
quote:
Originally posted by Anglican_Brat:
To a straight woman.
"I'm sorry, I'm really would like to be attracted to you, but at the moment of my conception, Almighty God declared that I would be gayer than Elton John dancing with Boy George at a George Michael concert. I cannot go against the will of God."
[ 15. September 2008, 05:12: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
Foaming Draught makes a key point on the Barbeque thread:
quote:
And slow-cooking is just a waste of gas. Emissions trading schemes will put paid to that, we need all the carbon offset we can get to run the beer fridge.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Bucca: quote:
The point is to serve God by oneness in christ, through faith, via grace. Charity is a consequence of that and not a meritorious act in itself (nor is others being fed an aim in itself).
Albertus: quote:
Yes Bucca, all very well, but you still haven't answered my question: between now and the Second Coming, who should be responsible for the drains?
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by rugasaw:
At one time I thought that I could come up with odd answers. The ship has taught me that my odd answers are not as odd as I thought.
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Originally posted by Oscar the Grouch (on the 'Fear of Moderation' thread:
In short, non-Christians should be loved into the Kingdom whilst Christians who don't agree with "us" should be smacked around a bit for their own good.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Jon-with-no-H:
if my body is a temple, my tattoos are stained glass windows.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Caty S.
I read, therefore I am.
# 11996
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Posted
Zappa, on the Question thread in Heaven: quote:
I love not splitting infinitives, because it breaks the cliched expectations.
Though I quite like to occasionally and with willful and nefarious intent with malice aforethought and cheerful nonchalance after the fact demonstrate how bloody stupid split infinitives can be.
[ 19. September 2008, 14:14: Message edited by: Caty. ]
Posts: 2119 | From: Devon | Registered: Nov 2006
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
Apprentice Salt cuts through the religious divide on barbecue:
quote:
BBQ is smoked meat. Any meat… brought to a state of perfection beyond description with time, heat and smoke. If your neck is red… your beer is free and cold… and your family and friends eat it with gusto and enthusiasm… you will understand that you have stumbled upon the true meaning and purpose of life… Thanks be to God!!!
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Triple Tiara
Ship's Papabile
# 9556
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Posted
Oh my, Zappa, what a magnificent put-down this was (in Hell, of course!)
quote:
When you kick Jesus off the Right Hand of the Father™, would you whisper a prayer in the ear of the Creator for those of us less perfect than your self?
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I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.
Posts: 5905 | From: London, England | Registered: May 2005
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Dead Horses
OliviaG to Matt Black on how humans were "set up" to Fall: quote:
Well, yeah. For starters, the garden wasn't properly child-proofed. And then there's the parenting stragety of "I'm going out now; don't touch the cookies on the kitchen counter." I don't think you even have to be a parent to know that's not gonna work, at least not in the early stages of the game.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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