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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
melliethepooh's sig:
"The end of all our journeying will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time".
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Had to trace that one Dolphy but knew it was not MelliethePooh's original. Tried C.S.Lewis and tried George MacDonald, before I ended up Googling and finding it is from T.S. Elliots The Four Quartets. Strange how that quote stuck with me and quite a chunk of the rest of that quartet though I have rarely read it, or heard it.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Thanks for clarifying that Jengie, I knew I had read it somewhere before but could not place it... until now.
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I enjoyed reading the following post by marsupial:
Personally I think Christmas has become too commercialised and we seem to have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. Did Santa die on the cross for nothing?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I can't remember who it was, but one sparkling day in Hell we had one of those online tests that told you what your spiritual gifts were, and someone who took the test posted:
quote:
Oh, hoo-freaking-ray. I have the gift of celibacy.
Still gets me giggling.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Transferred from closed "Quote of the day" thread in Heaven:
by Rossweise:
From an interview by Warwick Thompson of Bloomberg News with conductor Harry Bicket, on his ability to work at the Metropolitan Opera after spending years as a musician in the Church of England:
quote:
... Thompson: But you come from a cathedral background yourself. Does that mean your instincts aren't theatrical?
Bicket: I was at Westminster Abbey for four years and let me tell you -- the processions! The big occasions! It was pure theater. And frankly, in terms of divadom, working for the clergy of the Church of England at the highest level prepares you for anything you might meet on the operatic stage. And you can quote me on that.
Rossweisse // trusting that if this is in the wrong place, some kindly host will transfer it
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
~~The Deep and The Controversial~~
"The great aunt Maud of Bishop Upright who ordained me was a lesbian. Oh my God ... where's the mitzvah bath?! The opportunities for evangelical Soundness Inquisition now know no bounds."
(Fr Gregory, response to Sydney commentary on the contaminated hands of ordinaries)
"As for an openly gay bishop -- all our bishops are celibate. Whether they aren't having sex with men or aren't having sex with women is totally irrelevant. I can't imagine why anyone would care."
josephine
"Are all gardens clearly heterosexual procreative environments? If I found heterosexuals procreating in my garden, I'd be mighty upset (especially if they smashed the basil)."
Mousethief
"... perhaps I unknowingly do harm by accepting homosexuality as a natural variation on human sexuality. But I cannot see how it is better to choose to do demonstrable harm over a possible, mysterious, esoteric harm not apparent to me."
Belle
"In my experience every one who loves the Church is also betrayed by the Church. For to love it is to also desire its heavenly reality to be incarnated NOW and all we get is an earthly monstrosity."
Jengie
"We are all (actually the whole world is) the incarnation of God and we will all die and we will all be resurrected. (I'm sure this belief is some formal heresy and would be glad to have it identified!"
I forgot to write down who wrote this one - anyone know? jlg possibly, it sounds like her ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
"The church is a whore but she is our mother, and we love her...."
Multipara
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
~ Blind Things ~ (traditional)
"Even a blind chicken can peck a grain of corn every now and again."
Sine
"Every once in a while, even a blind squirrel gets a shiny brass doorknob."
Mad Geo
"Even a blind pig gets an acorn now and then."
Moo
~~ They said it! Religious flavour. ~~
"I don't flirt. It breaks the flow of the liturgy."
Anselmina
"It is unseemly to bear at the mass symbols of our temporal bondage once we have crossed the threshold to that place without time."
The Dumb Acolyte, on wearing watches while celebrating the Mass.
"How is that made up? 5 minutes taking it up? 5 minutes glorying in it? 5 minutes preaching it? 5 minutes marching as it goes on before? 10 minutes clinging?"
Firenze, regarding the 'cross trainer'.
"I ain't had it in years and years, am I not holy?"
Jerry Boam
"I do love the risen Lord but after attending a recent happy clappy service I almost felt as if I'd been assaulted by him!!!"
Dorothea
"If the idea of a few subversive women offering up raisin cakes to God gets your knickers in that much of a twist then you should go and lie down."
Louise
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Balaam:
Marriage - when salad starts filling the space in the fridge reserved for beer.
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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
From Kiwigoldfish: the kind of attitude that makes Hell the delightful romp it is:
quote:
Perhaps I should change my sig line to "I reserve the right to wilfully misconstrue your posts for my own amusement."
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Goldfish Stew
Shipmate
# 5512
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Posted
Hallelujah! I've made it™!
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.
Posts: 2405 | From: Aotearoa/New Zealand | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sinistærial
Ship's Lefty
# 5834
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Posted
This post over in Hell. quote:
I work in one of those overstuffed vaginas!
Welcome to the ship Sophie Bell!
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People laugh at me because I am different.
I laugh at other people because they are all the same.
æ = æ
Posts: 894 | From: The Holy City - Adelaide | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"chive's a girl"
various threads and SoF cafe.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Dammit, this was funny, and if nobody else is gonna immortalize it, I will:
quote:
Holy Cow, a feminist call to arms? And nobody nudged me awake?
--A brilliant and hilarious person.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kepler's Puppet
Shipmate
# 4011
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Posted
"... reductio ad absurdum doesn't work if the target has achieved such absurdity on their own that no further reduction is possible."-- Timothy the Obscure
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Most Likely Lurking
Posts: 1447 | From: Dixie Land | Registered: Jan 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by josephine:
... between what should be and what is there is a gap wide enough to parallel park an aircraft carrier.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Trust Erin to come up with this one:
quote:
You are wronger than a wrong thing that is mistaken.
[ 06. February 2005, 17:48: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ronja
Shipmate
# 4693
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Posted
This just in from TrudyTrudy in Heaven:
quote:
References to coffins and dead mothers bring down the mood of a wedding.
Posts: 742 | From: Up North | Registered: Jul 2003
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
If it suited my nature more, I'd adopt this gem from RooK as my new sig:
quote:
...it is painful for me to read you butchering the principles with the tarnished butter knife you call an intellect.
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
How 'bout one from Gandhi?
quote:
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
--Gandhi
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Frederick Buechner's Lovechild
Shipmate
# 4058
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Posted
First post in a long time, guys (not that I was ever prolific!). Reading your lines made me smile.
I offer one from a guy I used to work with:
"I only swear when I'm angry. But I'm angry all the time".
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Go and preach the gospel - use words if you have to. (St Francis of Assisi)
Posts: 274 | From: Aberdeen | Registered: Feb 2003
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Kepler's Puppet
Shipmate
# 4011
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Posted
"See those two holes at the sides? Your arms go in there. Then you've gotta decide where to put your head."-- Amos
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Most Likely Lurking
Posts: 1447 | From: Dixie Land | Registered: Jan 2003
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Work was invented by the Devil to eat your life, sap your will and energy, and stop you doing the things you really want to do.
Amen and amen!
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Mullygrub
Up and over
# 9113
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Posted
Dumbledore Wannabe posted this in the early stages of his sailing (c/- the All Saints newbies board):
quote:
"I have no desire to be a bishop - I would rather go to heaven"
Chorister then adopted it as her sig for a while. Would've done the same, but can't be seen to be a copycat, now can I?
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Smurfs are weird. And so am I.
Posts: 634 | From: Melbskies | Registered: Feb 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I was griping about my family's melodramatic tendancies to my instructor, and she sniffed,"Constipation ain't contagious. That's their problem, you don't need to catch it."
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh, and just because this is such Sine thing to say:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
You don't get over 9800 posts if you care if other people are paying attention.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Trini
Shipmate
# 7921
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy da Wonder Sheep:
Snow is bad. Snow is evil. I believe that the Devil redecorated after reading Dante's 'Inferno'.
Posts: 816 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jul 2004
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Sophie Bell
Shipmate
# 8822
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Posted
From Trudy-Trudy on the F'ing Flag Wavers thread in Hell quote:
It's all praise and worship till somebody's baby loses an eye.
I think that's the funniest variation on that old saying I've ever heard!
Posts: 151 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2004
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
My 15 seconds of fame! Thank you Sophie Bell!
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
From Kenwritez on the 'Justifying a Christian Hell thread':
The Ship is a community full of lumpty, bumpty people and Alan Cresswell, it's not a frickin' TV show where all our problems are resolved in 22 minutes and four advertising breaks.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Best Description of Ship Life award goes to:
quote:
Originally posted by Barnabas62:
My silly answer is that, at this stage of my life, I am an increasingly round couch potato who gets his jollies by considering deep and daft questions on this Board. I really must get out more.
Shouldn't we all!
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
LC - Its brilliant isn't it! I'm so glad you made it your signature. I'm trying to work out how to get it into a sermon I'm preparing ...
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Sinistærial
Ship's Lefty
# 5834
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Posted
In the silly things I just found out thread in heaven babybear wrote: quote:
We were reclined against our pillows during those events. However, Gremlin would like me to inform you that he did experience difficulties in performing as well as he might like. He recommends a more upright position.
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People laugh at me because I am different.
I laugh at other people because they are all the same.
æ = æ
Posts: 894 | From: The Holy City - Adelaide | Registered: Apr 2004
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Just having a rustle through my potential .sig file for quotes since the last time I posted:
~Miscellaneous quotes, some funny, some deep~
"A circle is just a load of very short straight lines that did some bad stuff together."
Julian the Apostate
"It is a mystery, but that doesn't mean we can't try to think about it, if only to end up falling down in worship anew."
Divine Outlaw-Dwarf, on the Trinity.
"We can't stop the Second Coming, it is the consummate Good Thing, and after the "tribulations", the Kingdom will be realized."
Shareman
"Damn right babe. The old bag lady can load up her trolley, especially as she's off it, with whatever junk she likes. Poor dear. Jesus will clean her up to marry her."
Martin PC Not on The Church.
"Is this a less-than-usually-convincing Turing Test?"
Hedonism_Bot on newbie, peepingtom
"how love is lived out varies tremendously from one person to the next"
Ruth
"If Fr Sarducci's numbers are right, we should restrict ourselves to masturbating no more than 41 times a day (if otherwise sinless). It's a bit Spartan, but I think I can live with that..."
IngoB
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by kiwigoldfish:
Hallelujah! I've made it™!
Oh, kiwi! I've had one for you that I somehow missed using (possibly waiting for a thematic collection) which I think predates that.
"Well I would provide the evidence Mousethief. Except that I have 2 women, 4 men, 1 sheep and 3 dogs to hump before lunch so can't afford the time."
kiwigoldfish, when asked to provide evidence that liberals' are/are not sexually obsessed.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Elizabeth Anne
Altar Girl
# 3555
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Koovie:
quote:
"It's like the donated Plasma of Christ rather than His Shed Blood."
- Elizabeth Anne on White Wine at the Eucharist
I don't believe it! No one has ever quoted me before.
Edit: Sorry that thread has since been deleted, so the link is broken.
[ 31. July 2005, 16:30: Message edited by: Gremlin ]
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Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in my eyes...
Posts: 974 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2002
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Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153
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Posted
I've just noticed this thread. My favourite quote from a while ago - Mousethief on Calvinism:
quote:
every point a bona fide heresy
I've no idea if the oxymoron was intentional or not, but I love it and have resolved to use it whenever opportunity arises.
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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"
Richard Dawkins
Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
In the middle of one of those gross-out threads in Hell, Gloriagloriagloria said this:
quote:
Oh, ick. I think I just threw up into my mouth.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Sophie Bell
Shipmate
# 8822
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Posted
Because it made me giggle.
On a "calling the new guy to hell" post, Spiffy da WonderSheep had this to say about the ubiquitousness of trolls.
quote:
We seem to have a constant-volume system here with respect to trolls. One leaves, and new one appears.
Spiffy : quote:
Nature does abhor a vacuum.
So does my cat, now that I think about it...
Posts: 151 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Heh. I was gonna post that, too, but didn't want to double post.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Posted by Chukhovsky:
I vastly prefer to think the worst of people. It's so much more satisfying.
Very sigworthy - aren't I generous passing it on for someone else to use ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
From the tag of a tea-bag (keep your anti-tea-bag comments to yourself,please:)
quote:
Books have the same ememies as people; fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.
--Paul Valery.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh, and IMHO Laura currently has the best sig going:
quote:
Why do we always come here?/I guess we'll never know.
It's like a kind of torture/to have to watch the show.
Statler & Waldorf of The Muppet Show
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
I'm sorry I did not find this thread earlier (I only visit the Circus now and then.) I believe I just may begin my own file of excellent quotes.
Though there are various Ship mates whose contributions are very enlightening, when it comes to my falling over laughing (as well as thinking!) I would say that ken's posts are tops, with Fr Gregory and Callan coming in soon afterward.
One quote that I love was from FCB. I cannot recall the exact topic we were discussing in Purgatory, but do remember that a number of posts had bewailed the lack of charity, kindness, and so forth that people are shown in the Church. It would not have been as funny had it not come from a theologian: "The Church sucks. The Church always has sucked. And the Church always will suck."
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Never discuss food in Hell.
From RooK: quote:
Dang. Now I'm hungry.
Mmmm... babies.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
originally posted by Kelly Alves:
God loves to fuck with people's egos.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Gildas ap Caius
Shipmate
# 10470
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Posted
That's sad. That's really sad. Whatever happened to "But soft, my fair Ophelia! Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery; go!"
(Tell me you've read Huck Finn at least once in your life...)
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You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. — Ray Bradbury
Here's to bigger, and much, much better, explosions! --- Artemus Gordon
Posts: 276 | From: Thulcandra, screaming. | Registered: Sep 2005
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Gildas ap Caius
Shipmate
# 10470
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Posted
Dang it! Wrong thread! Don't you hate it when that happens?
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You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. — Ray Bradbury
Here's to bigger, and much, much better, explosions! --- Artemus Gordon
Posts: 276 | From: Thulcandra, screaming. | Registered: Sep 2005
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