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Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696

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Birdseye on the Just when I thought I'd seen it all thread in Purg.

quote:
Originally posted by Birdseye:
Okay -having spent the day being rather rude about the shortcomings of my own denomination... I would now like to say -by way of fairness and without compromising my grumpy mood...
Hooray for the dear old Church of England, with its loopy clerics, shaky structures, bad-tempered PCCs and decrepit buildings, hooray for its ill-considered attempts at outreach and its watery coffee, its tentative kindness and confident complaints, hooray for its diversity and confusion and open, obviously flawed and authentically tired members (including me). And hallelujah for its incomprehensible survival, its moments of mystical and ancient beauty, its attempts at fairness and justice and bravery, and its genuinely lovely and loving humanity and the cracks all over it where the light shines through... No earthly power COULD or WOULD build a church like this, on anxiety and earnestness, doubt and forgiveness, which might, if it were a human being, look a bit like a rugged and frightened and loving and grumpy fisherman...


Better that than a Church founded on thirty pieces of silver.



--------------------
a theological scrapbook

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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696

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oops. [Hot and Hormonal] Lamb Chopped beat me to it. Sorry.

--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Janine on the Santa Fe Meet thread but about airport security in USA:

quote:
I hear Texas has rebelled against the Feds -- they won't go whole-hog on the overzealous mess at the airports. People around here are talking about driving to Texas to fly anywhere they have to go, then driving the heck home from Texas when they're done.

I don't blame 'em. If I'm gonna have hands all over me I'm gonna damn well personally hand-pick the person they're attached to.

And I want roses and a nice dinner first.



--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Gracious rebel

Rainbow warrior
# 3523

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Louise on Leo (in Hell thread for Mudfrog)
quote:
You're a complete loony and should stop inventing things. I've almost got to the stage where I wonder whether you're an art project by a collective of bored students, because I can't believe that anyone could really be as pompous as your posts indicate, or as much of a hideous caricature of anglo-catholicism gone badly wrong, with a side-order of the self-awareness of a small toadstool.
[Overused]

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Fancy a break beside the sea in Suffolk? Visit my website

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leo
Shipmate
# 1458

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Fame at last.

Lunacy is in the eye of the beholder.

[ 05. June 2011, 17:30: Message edited by: leo ]

--------------------
My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com

Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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"Each has his own way of earning fame"
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Barefoot Friar

Ship's Shoeless Brother
# 13100

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I was digging around in an old thread and found:

quote:
Originally posted by PD:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin L:
quote:
Originally posted by PD:
Left to my own devices I would wear Apron and Gaiters for diocesan meetings and formal dinners, but I don't have the money.
PD

[Killing me] I'm not so sure that is a good idea in your conservative region!


I think you are right about that. However, I have threatened the diocesan secretary that if I ever hear the expression "focus group" or any other piece of pretentious grey suit jargon in a diocesan meeting that I will order the full rig and charge it to the diocese. There are times when the church is so like just another bureaucracy run by incompetants that one needs to reintroduce a little bit of Barchester in order to retain what bit of sanity one has left. At least out here in the long grass we are reasonably immune from senior clergy who think they are CEOs, and CFOs, though we do seem to have a few who seem to have been left behind by UFOs.

PD

Amen, brother. Amen.

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Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -- Desmond Tutu

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RooK

1 of 6
# 1852

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quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Lunacy is in the eye of the beholder.

Consider yourself beheld.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
leo
Shipmate
# 1458

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quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Lunacy is in the eye of the beholder.

Consider yourself beheld.
'Consider yourself one of the family
Consider yourself at home
we're sure we're going to get along....'

--------------------
My Jewish-positive lectionary blog is at http://recognisingjewishrootsinthelectionary.wordpress.com/
My reviews at http://layreadersbookreviews.wordpress.com

Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688

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Ken, why don't you let us know how you really feel?

quote:
Can the last Myers-Briggs witchdoctor be choked to death by being stuffed every book in the world that takes fucking Fowler's fucking stages of fucking faith fucking seriously and all of them burned on a funeral pyre made up of Gardener's Learning Styles?

And all the rest of the fluffy-bunny pseudo-scientific pop-psychology mendacious controlling bollocks that has been infesting the church like a plague for the past too many decades.

And we can get rid of the moronic nonsense about "Generation XYZ" while we're at it.

And if there is anything left of Freudianism we can lose that as well (surely there can't be, is anyone stupid or ignorant enough to take his psychology seriously these days?)

And as for the poncy post-modernists - shoot the in the kneecaps with an AK47 and then see whether they really think the narratives of the modern era are unpersuasive.



--------------------
Rent my holiday home in the South of France

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Hart is my F#$%ing hero.

quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
quote:
Originally posted by Net Spinster:
quote:
Originally posted by Hart:
Here's the Homer quote. It's book XI, not IX.

And that seems to be what the Stanford Encyclopedia has.
Yes, I emailed Ed Zalta, the Stanford prof who's the general editor for the SEP, yesterday when I found the correction and he changed it about 12 hours ago. Try getting a turn around that quick for a print publication!


--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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Holy Hell, Hart! You got to talk to Ed N. Zalta? Dude's The Man. His neo-Meinongian system of modeling abstract, uninstantiated possible objects based in a counterintuitive method of second-order predication may be kinda weird . . . but Zalta's The Man.
/Philosopherswooning.
[Overused]

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Quoting from the Quotes file how about this from Ariston Astuanax:

quote:

Holy Hell, Hart! You got to talk to Ed N. Zalta? Dude's The Man. His neo-Meinongian system of modeling abstract, uninstantiated possible objects based in a counterintuitive method of second-order predication may be kinda weird . . . but Zalta's The Man.
/Philosopherswooning.
[Overused]



--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Whoa, I haven't seen anybody mention Meinong in over 20 years. Parts of my brain I forgot existed are starting to lift their heads and sniff the wind and make little snuffly noises. Shut up, guys. Go back to sleep.

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169

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Angloid's admonishment in the "Cassocks, stoles, surplices" thread:
quote:
Of course it matters! This is Ecclesiantics.
If Ecclesiantics ever needs a new motto, this could be it.
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Somewhere in Bibliological academia, a paradigm shifts---

quote:
Originally posted by Chamois:
Poor old Paul, can't even have a bad day without 2000 years of analysis.




--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Originally posted by Yerevan:
This is a problem for Christians who believe that all non-Christians who die are bound for eternal conscious torment without the possibility of reprieve. The percentage of Christians who actually believe that may not be high. Catholics, Orthodox and liberals don't. A fair proportion of evangelicals don't. You are really addressing con evos, who are as scarce as hens' teeth on the Ship. Maybe another forum?

This has got to be a strong contender for the 'best reply to an OP' prize - Yerevan's response to Justinian's 'Atheist incivility' in Hell.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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BWSmith:
quote:
We live in an exciting age of Biblical consumerism, where one's opinions on Biblical truth are kind of like managing your stock options for your 401-K account:
I think we are in real trouble...

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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Amos

Shipmate
# 44

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From Hamletta in the Cassocks etc. thread in Ecclesiantics:

'If it ain't got men in dresses it ain't church.

The converse is not necessarily true however.

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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

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snowgoose

Silly goose
# 4394

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TubaMirum, in response to Jesse Phillips's comments about prayer being in some ways an analytical process:

quote:

I disagree, at least in part. First of all, prayer is quite often said in desperation: the short version is "Help me!". No analysis - just complete surrender.

Second, prayers very often involve something that has no solution, and that the person praying can't really do anything about. A sick child, or the death of a spouse, for instance. In these cases, prayer is a way to share pain - and to let go of things that threaten to overwhelm the psyche.

Third, even when there are things people can do to solve problems, prayers aren't necessarily about "analysis." They are often very confused and involve the same desperation and/or pain as mentioned previously.

In my view, prayers are just as often a way of letting go of problems - of getting some distance between you and what seems to be overwhelming trouble. They are, in these instances at least, emotional rather than analytical.



--------------------
Lord, what can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man? --Terry Pratchett

Save a Siamese!

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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I hope she doesn't mind me putting this here, but this (by comet) struck me as the most genuinely expressed prayer I've ever read on the internet:

We found her! she's alive and safe and HOLY CRAP!

HALLELUJAH


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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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The Fools continue to pick on St. Paul:

quote:
Originally posted by Hedgerow Priest:
He was in Rome; he popped into Gamarelli's, couldn't find any suitable tat, and moved on.



--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Caty S.

I read, therefore I am.
# 11996

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Ken, commenting on the place of the Athanasian creed in modern liturgy:

quote:
The typical parish church has loads of problems. But I suspect that infiltration by undercover monophysite bishops is not near the top of the list for very many congregations.
However, in just one or two churchyards you may see furtive activity followed by a whispered, "All mitres hidden? Good. Let's synchronise watches. And if anyone gets suspicious, make a run for it through the vestry window..."
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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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A bit of fun by Jackanapes: [Big Grin]

quote:

Originally posted by Yorick:
Who does the Born Twice stuff? It's hilarious.

I do. No, hold on a minute, it's someone else who just happens to look like me.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
birdie

fowl
# 2173

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A vivid image from cosmic dance:

quote:
Well tie me to an anthill and smear my ears with jam!


--------------------
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow

Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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flausa states the truth:
quote:
Sadly, it's much easier to put on a bag of Doritos than it is to take it off.


--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Niminypiminy
Shipmate
# 15489

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Gamaliel says it for all of us:

quote:
Being a Christian is all about being fully human. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be half-human or three-quarters human. Let's go for the whole thing.


--------------------
Lives of the Saints: songs by The Unequal Struggle
http://www.theunequalstruggle.com/

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birdie

fowl
# 2173

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Then, Gamaliel closes down Purgatory entirely:

quote:
All these things are mysteries before which it is wise, ultimately, to remain silent.



Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by birdie:
Then, Gamaliel closes down Purgatory entirely:

quote:
All these things are mysteries before which it is wise, ultimately, to remain silent.



The operative word there is wise. Purgatory shall remain open for a long while then.

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Alfred E. Neuman's epitaph:
quote:
Dear Lord, please let your everlasting light shine upon my popped clogs.


--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Alfred E. Neuman

What? Me worry?
# 6855

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My clogs can't pop - I have two stents.
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Thanks be to God for Alfred's popless clogs! [Big Grin]

And Josephine has the modern Christian take on gossip:
quote:
Gossip is just something we all do. We even sanctify it and call it "prayer requests."


--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
basso

Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228

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Over in the parallelism thread:

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
The mighty shrieks arose from out of thy courts,
From atop the grassy plains was heard great groaning.

(Wimbledon 15:30)

(Game, set, and match.)
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696

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Mousetheif gets it right in the house of heaven on the PSA thread:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
quote:
Originally posted by Gamaliel:

Evensong's Liberal Christianity can't really be the real thing, because in her version everyone gets to go to heaven - including the evangelicals ...

That does suck.

But apparently in my father's house there are many rooms that have been prepared.

We can avoid each other.

It is, indeed, a big house. The evangelicals can have the whole right wing.



--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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On the one hand, he totally rained on my parade, on the other, I laughed really hard:

quote:
Originally posted by Nigel M:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
(more tub-thumping) Isn't divination trying to access knowledge before it naturally comes to you? [Big Grin]

I think that's called Wikipedia.


--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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Leaf, in Ecclesiantics, on the tendency of some Lectors to tack their own little introductions onto the lectionary passages:

quote:
After announcing that "this is the Gospel of the Lord", and having it acclaimed as such, one should not then proceed with "a bunch of crap I made up."


[ 08. July 2011, 17:02: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Louise here in Hell responding to Marvin the Martian's assertion that the current News of the World scandal was all about "sucking up to fashionable leftie types"
quote:
When you've got to the point where the Daily Telegraph's chief political commentator writing in The Spectator must be 'sucking up to fashionable leftie types', then it's time for a rest in the Bide-a-Wee Yurt for Confused Right-Wing Mongolian Gentlefolk. I think you're just a wee bit 'out-there' to the right, Genghis.


--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by Taliesin:
Please answer with clear and unabiguous advice, so I can at least blame someone else for once when it all continues to go wrong.



--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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AS mousethief grouses about Dead Horse complaints, Edward Green has a lightbulb moment:

quote:
Originally posted by Edward Green:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
We seem to have this discussion every 3 months. Maybe we should put a permanent thread at the top of Styx. Or people should read the board descriptions before threading their panties onto a spinning wheel.

(de-lurks) Perhaps it should be moved to Dead Horses? (re-lurks)


--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442

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Huia on McDonalds:
quote:
Verdict? Food is crap, but the loos are great.
From this thread

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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese

Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
Earwig

Pincered Beastie
# 12057

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Martin L in Eccles:

quote:
Originally posted by Martin L:
quote:
Originally posted by Divine Outlaw Dwarf:
What was the 1980s like liturgically? I was there. I just don't remember.

Don't you remember the great hairspray-induced incense tragedies? The hair so high that it rivaled the bishop's mitre? Or when we briefly flirted with stonewash as the liturgical color for Advent? Or pants carefully tight-rolled above our sanctuary slippers?

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Adeodatus in the Clergy Exit Services thread in Eccles:

quote:
Indeed. I think we need three distinct rites: a "Bye bye, we love you very much; let's hug" rite. A "Sod off, and if we ever see you again we'll set the dogs on you" rite. And a "I never liked you lot anyway, I'm off to a parish where people give a damn" rite.

After all, we want to be honest, don't we? [Snigger]



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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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@Earwig: I really have to read Eccles more; that was freakin' funny.

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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169

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Firenze in All Saints, responding to a shipmate's helpfully frugal suggestion to "Patronise Poundland":
quote:
You're not a bad little Poundland in your way.
[Big Grin]
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Marvin the Martian in the Children of Satan thread in Hell

Satan is no liar. That's what makes him so dangerous.

Possibly the greatest temptation attributed to Satan was the very first - in the Garden of Eden. And he did it by telling the truth about the apple.

When Satan tempts Jesus in the wilderness, does anyone doubt that what he says is true? Jesus could have turned the rock into bread if He wished. Jesus would have been saved from falling. It's the truth that's used to tempt Jesus, not lies.

Assuming that something which is true cannot come from Satan is a very dangerous game, because there are an awful lot of things that are both true and sinful.


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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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MrsDoyle in the "God's anathema" thread:

quote:
[...]wait long enough and someone eventually will chuck God's displeasure at you (with the possible exception of God).


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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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PD:
quote:
No, still puzzled, {by Gamalial's theological button sorting} but please don't try and explain. I am bishop and theology is usually way over my head.
[Big Grin]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Traveller
Shipmate
# 1943

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Joan obviously doesn't like puppets in worship

quote:
Originally posted by joan knox:
Ah yes, Calvinist puppets: you can have puppets, as long as you don't enjoy them.
I certainly didn't.
Even after gouging my eyes out, crushing the eyeballs under the heel of my muck-encrusted hiking boots [once I found 'em], then puréeing the dessicated remnants in the blender and feeding the bloodied eye-goo to the goldfish, nothing will rid me of the seared imprint etched into my traumatised mind of these evil Presby Puppets of Putrescence. [Projectile]
Ahh, but there, see, I've gone and done that typically British understated repressed thing again. Must try harder....

That image has quite put me off my lunch

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I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live:
I will praise my God while I have my being.
Psalm 104 v.33

Posts: 1037 | From: Wherever the car has stopped at the moment! | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Even Alan Cresswell has fallen under the Lyda*Rose spell on the 'Calling LR to Hell' thread:

I'm not sure it really is worth posting on. I'm not sure why I'm posting on it to be honest.

Perhaps we have all been turned into puppets? [Ultra confused]

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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An example of fine Hellish hospitality:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Once I read Goddess Within and discovered I am represented by that wet noodle, Persephone.

Welcome to Hell. Pomegranate?


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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged



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