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Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
And it seems I was totally on fire in April. Trying to remember what happened in April... I think that was when the university course from hell finished and I hadn't yet developed a love life.

Interesting, love as the death of creativity. So, I owe those who've extracted my heart with a wrecking bar, not castigation, but commission? A percentage? Might be a novel approach, though.
Hello, gorgeous, I wager you can make me rich...

You rang?

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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OK, Martin not PC & Ship's Biohazard in Hell on the thread, just because I think it's worth preserving, even though it's got a Flesch-Kincaid Grade reading level of 7.25:
quote:
Hopefully not, Jamat: why must we all believe, interpret, understand the bible like a three year old ? As I keep trying to write in this truly sublimely hellish environment (and thank you DoubleThink and my apologies again for the Stygian remarks above).

OK, to get hellish, what got me (rightfully of course) censured on Dead Horses was that I said that Mark Betts had been frightened stupid. The same applies to you (I hope that's hellish enough).

As it DOES to me.

How can a scrap of poetry on the back of a fag packet edited throughout the entire bronze age be in conflict with science?

How can science, i.e. what we KNOW using our God given senses and brains which have come up with sublime, abstract, perfect, theoretical and concretely REAL quantum mechanics; one of the foundations of creation (in which God had NO choice at all of course), how can that make God a liar ? How can God make God a liar ?

The Word does not, cannot under any circumstances contradict the MERE word which is a HUMAN construct. An artefact. A multicultural 500 year span library from humanity's early-mid childhood. No matter that the humans concerned were in relationship with God. An APPARENT killer God. With their feet planted firmly in the mire.

With you and me.

You have elevated the word ABOVE the Word. This is true, childish, utter idolatry.

So again, what are you SO terrified of ? That's rhetorical in the sense that we're ALL psychotic and reconciled to it, unaware of it since Eden.

We haven't the faintest idea how FALLEN we are.

It's obvious in other ways. You think, or rather feel or think experientially, as in how you cross the road, because you cannot analytically think about your thinking; you implicitly 'think' that if the Word contradicts the wooden word (a false dichotomy in the first place) - just like the Church confronted by Galileo - then the word is a lie and therefore the Word lies, therefore ... there is no Word. All is meaninglessness NOW and oblivion awaits NEX.....................................


Even when God WENT WITH THEIR NARRATIVE (which was Indo-European and more, if not universal) and told the Israelites that He was the God who made the world in seven days, He did NOT lie even though it's taken Him 13.6 Ga so far.

Except to you in your arrested development.

And you WON'T see this. And it is NOTHING to do with my failure of communication, except at the most sublime level as some things, most things CANNOT be communicated to someone whose disposition is seared, crushed by fear. Psychotic.

Like me.

NOTHING can shake faith. Faith is, should be, AWASH with doubt, with humanity. Jesus' was.

I'm a creationist. I'm not a Christian materialist as most of the cognoscenti here are. I do not believe that universes have always happened. I believe that God made this, first universe. I do not believe that life arose spontaneously not because it can't, but because it DIDN'T based on Fermi's EASILY falsifiable paradox - show me an exoplanet with more than trace atmospheric oxygen. I do not believe that mind can arise spontaneously, of itself, endogenously, emergently in life.

I COULD BE WRONG. All it will take is a whiff of oxygen.

I used to worry, if I was honest, with the SAME fear you have. If there have always been universes, teaming with intelligent life - us - then whither God ?

Now I just don't care. Thank GOD for that. And, in the mean time, I can STILL happily, validly, faithfully, rationally believe in God being in full relation with His creation, MORE so. The more I read Brian McLaren. DESPITE reading this prophet of the postmodern. As well as because.

I cannot under any circumstances but brain damage have a wooden understanding of Genesis. But I'm pretty lignified. I can EASILY believe that God touched down and made a perfectly smooth insertion of paradise at Eden in to the 4 Ga evolved biosphere. So smooth that our DNA fits as if we'd evolved completely. As it should if we're to survive.

But I could be wrong.

The first 15 minutes of 2001 A Space Odyssey could be more right. Or I could be REALLY wrong, and through sexual selection we ended up as neotenous, bipedal, right angle central nervous systemed, opposable thumbed, naked, beautiful, face to face love making, talking apes with inevitable self awareness.

It certainly post-hoc materialistically looks like it.

EXCEPT for Fermi's paradox. We creationists can ignore Christian materialism due to it being hoist with its own petard in that. Until we get a whiff of oxygen.

Yeah that will be scary. But I'm scared all the time any way. Of looming redundancy, unemployemnt, immobility, impotence, increasing mental illness (acute and chronic intrusive thinking) and cognitive dissonance and impairment.

But all will be well and all IS well because I'm IN God and He's with me in it. He doesn't make it go away, He CAN'T, dementia and death will, but He DOES create space around it all. He IS bigger than me.

He's bigger with you and your mental frailties, including YEC, too.

Love - Martin



--------------------
Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753

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From the Jimmy Saville thread in Hell. Just for the sheer beauty of the imagery.

quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Oh go fuck a train.



--------------------
We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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comet on "Help! I've got a teenager!":
quote:
I also find it amazing that you have here a teenage boy who isn't trying to eat everything that doesn't bite back first. I just can't imagine this scenario ever happening with my son.

I feel like I live with Pacman.

[Big Grin]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Timothy the Obscure on the US thread:

quote:
The only winter fun I enjoy is sitting in a comfortable chair by a warm fire with a glass of something close at hand. Winter is Nature's way of telling you to stay indoors. And drink Port.


--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Ouch! OUCH!

quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
[bad taste warning]

I thought to go as Sylvia Plath, but I ran out of gas.

(churchgeek pitches a potential Halloween costume on a game thread.)

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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From the "Religious Collectibles" thread in Eccles:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
quote:
Originally posted by +Chrism:
I will be staying with some lovely sisters. While I am there I am hoping get as many religious collectibles as possible.

No, Fr Chrism - put Sister Perpetua back in her cell. You can't take her with you, she doesn't like aeroplanes and she's very elderly and doesn't want to be an anchoress ...


--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Not a quote, just want to say 'bye' where most people I've had fun with will see it. God bless Circus friends, fuck those others who've pissed me off. Nite nite, sleep well.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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[tangent]I do hope your "bye" will just be a break. You're good people and you'd be missed. As for the annoying shippies that piss you off: scrolling is your friend.[/tangent]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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Sorry guys. I was pissed off and pissed - never post drunk. I'm not going anywhere. Love you all.
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823

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And thanks, Lyda.

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520

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quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
* (When I say the rats are scrabbling, I mean they're making that funny scritchy noise with their claws, not going "Hey, I've got myxomatosis on a triple word score!")

(While discussing traditional views of the afterlife)

--------------------
mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon

Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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love this: (a little editing for clarity)
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus about BBC Radio 4:
It has the best comedy, the most erudite broadcasters, the most incisive interviewers ever to disturb an electromagnetic field. It has Toksvig, Purvis and Naughtie. It's where the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was born. It's where you can learn how to talk on any subject for a minute without hesitation, repetition or deviation. It's where you can learn everything you'll ever need to know about Hannibal, the care of begonias, or the eight favourite records of someone you'd never heard of before.

Radio 4 Extra is where you go in order to learn that your sense of humour hasn't matured at all in 35 years.

Thanks to the magic of the internet I discovered Radio 4 about 4 years ago, and Extra a few months ago. I may be late to the game, but I heartily concur. I'm a total convert.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Although Pyx_e says this isn't original, it made me laugh so much I couldn't resist re-posting it here:

Pyx_e, in Hell

PS I apologise if I've broken any commandments by posting it as a link, rather than in full.

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Timothy the Obscure

Mostly Friendly
# 292

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I'm no expert on commandments, but if the original thread were to be deleted, Pyx_e's brilliance might be lost, so:

quote:
I note somewhere in there the phrase "The cat sat on the mat."

The Church of England has discussed this matter at length:

The Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation...

How would the Church of England deal with "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This would lead to an immediate backlash from the Evangelicals. They would make it an essential condition of faith that a real physical, living cat, being a domestic pet of the Felix Domesticus species, and having a whiskered head and furry body, four legs and a tail, did physically place its whole body on a floor covering, designed for that purpose, which is on the floor but not of the floor. The expression "on the floor but not of the floor" would be explained in a leaflet.

Meanwhile, the Catholics would have developed the Festival of the Sedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was white and majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its assumption to the Great Cat Basket of Heaven. This would be commemorated by the singing of the Magnificat, lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times. This would cause a schism withthe Orthodox Church which would believe that tradition would require Holy Cats Day [as it would be colloquially known] to be marked by lighting six candles and ringing the bell four times. This would be partly resolved by the Cuckoo Land Declaration recognising the traditional validity of each.

Eventually, the House of Bishops would issue a statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation. It would explain that traditionally the text describes a domestic feline quadruped superjacent to an unattached covering on a fundamental surface. For determining its salvific and eschatological significations, it would follow the heuristic analytical principles adopted in dealing with the Canine Fenestration Question [How much is that doggie in the window?] and the Affirmative Musaceous Paradox [Yes, we have no bananas]. And so on, for another 210 pages.

The General Synod would then commend this report as helpful resource material for clergy to explain to the man in the pew the difficult doctrine of the cat sat on the mat. (All this found on web non accredited)



--------------------
When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
  - C. P. Snow

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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I just found this funny. Gave me a smile after a trying day:

quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
A long time ago, we had Tigglet's Dating Agency. Several threads worth, as I recall.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any of them, just references to some of the success stories.

Do we need to resurrect TDA, Inc. under new management? The testimonials I saw seem to speak rather highly of it.

Then again, do we even have anyone qualified to run it? I can only imagine what would happen if we were to have Ariston's Love Emporium opened for business.

quote:
Worst. Date. Ever. I specifically asked for a nice guy who knew how to treat a woman, and was easy on the eyes; did they ever screw that up! If you ask me, it's a shame that such a beautiful cathedral is stuck with such a hideous creature as its bellringer.
Etc.



[ 15. October 2012, 06:14: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Bullfrog.

Prophetic Amphibian
# 11014

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From the aforementioned hell thread, posting in a long string of quotes of uncertain organization or provenance, this one sentence jumped out at me and made me laugh, Thanks, Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard
quote:
How can a scrap of poetry on the back of a fag packet edited throughout the entire bronze age be in conflict with science?


--------------------
Some say that man is the root of all evil
Others say God's a drunkard for pain
Me, I believe that the Garden of Eden
Was burned to make way for a train. --Josh Ritter, Harrisburg

Posts: 7522 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Jade Constable on the relationships thread in AS:

quote:
I have no problems with dating an evangelical, fwiw, I just find that they invariably mind dating someone who isn't evangelical. And I'm not. And that's not changing. I don't want to be with someone I have to hide my rosary from!


--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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In Heaven we were discussing what to do when the world ends in December (Mayan calendar, etc etc.) After I said something about spending the evening posting on the Ship...

Ariston came up with:

quote:
And meanwhile, I'll be trying to see if I can't break all ten commandments and a few implied rules in a single post.

It's either that, or try to score a last date in some bar. I know which one's probably more fun.

To which Firenze responded with this gem:

quote:
Possible chat-up line: hey, let's go up to my place and break all Ten Commandments!*

(Followed by hours of date staring glumly at the Complete Works of Aristotle at the beddes heed while Ariston hammers at his laptop).

*success could depend on a certain level of Biblical illiteracy.



--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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I'm still loving Firenze's observations on the end of the world:

quote:
I just hope there's some air traffic control in place. Otherwise there could be aerial pile ups between raptured Southern Baptists and galloping Valkyries, particularly with all those spaceships dodging about trying to get their tractor beams in position.

I'm seeing a lot of people ending up in the wrong afterlife.



--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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I found this exchange funny:

quote:
long ranger: Ah, that's handy, because I'm contemplating experiencing God at the bottom of a can of beer. I guess he can fit into my expectations then.
quote:
Gamaliel: Now, now the long ranger, you should know that God cannot be found at the bottom of a CAN of beer because the stuff you find in cans is pasteurised beyond redemption and is fizzy, gassy and a poor excuse for beer.

No, real beer (and a sense of the divine) can be found in casks or in bottle-conditioned form ... although you do need to be more careful with some of the latter.

I speak as one who knows ...



--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I found this exchange funny:

quote:
long ranger: Ah, that's handy, because I'm contemplating experiencing God at the bottom of a can of beer. I guess he can fit into my expectations then.
quote:
Gamaliel: Now, now the long ranger, you should know that God cannot be found at the bottom of a CAN of beer because the stuff you find in cans is pasteurised beyond redemption and is fizzy, gassy and a poor excuse for beer.

No, real beer (and a sense of the divine) can be found in casks or in bottle-conditioned form ... although you do need to be more careful with some of the latter.

I speak as one who knows ...


LeRoc, you have shown that to be truly funny, it is also necessary for it to be true and profound. Few things are as profound as fine beer.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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From the "Misled by Tetzel" thread in Purg:

quote:
Originally posted by Charles Read:
Have you been mis-sold indulgences when you did not need them? Did the salesperson put you under undue pressure to buy? Were the terms and conditions never explained to you?

Thousands of people have successfully reclaimed their money after being sold indulgences they didn't need. Call our professional advisors now to see if you are owed money from mis-sold indulgences.


Phone Martin, Jean, Huldrych, John or Thomas today on Wittenberg 1517.



--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Even with a face full of Novocaine, I laughed my ass off at this:

quote:
Originally posted by Mockingale:
quote:
Originally posted by tclune:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Any speculation on The Donald's big "October surprise" announcement today?

The only October surprise I want from Trump is a swan dive off Trump Tower. C'mon D, make the world a better place...

--Tom Clune

Not me. First, I stop short of willing people I dislike to commit suicide. Second, if he dies a natural death, scientists can study his brain to try to help future nutters. If he pavement-dives, they'll have to pressure-wash his brains off the avenue.


--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Stejjie - [Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
The devil strides among us playing his usual magicians tricks. On one hand he has us incensed over some mad old dead DJ (and yet dressing our kids like porn stars) while on the other he stirs up the fires of insecurity, jealousy, fear and our longing for power by sexualising pretty much everything. We live in a morass of pornography, where self image and sex are seemingly all that matters. Where the young already raging with hormones are tortured in their heads or in the world by what they look like (or not) whether they are getting any (or not) whether they really have to do that because he says so or because everyone says they are (or not). And the sad old 40 yr old adolescents are still chasing the same bullshit they were chasing when they were 14. Where everyone is firstly and almost exclusively judged on how they look, a society of white painted sepulchres, awash inside with putrid longings and shameful guilt.

In short, the usual.



--------------------
Last ever sig ...

blog

Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Pyx_e on priests:

quote:
Mmmmm Most priest seem to be lonely. But then most choose it, simple pride. Like they choose to be busy. And choose to get all wrapped up in their way of doing religion to others (and themselves).

So let’s be clear: Other professions/vocations that have a demanding pastoral element; nurse. teacher, fire fighter, police officer. What is the big difference between being a priest and them. Mostly it is the lack of “water-cooler” moments those frequent times during the day when you sit down in the station, staff room or canteen and get it off your chest. Those constant moments of interaction with colleagues and friends where they notice you are having a bad day or that incident really hit you and in simple human compassion make space for you to de-compress, pray, tell a joke, cry, smoke, implore the Buddha or whatever works for you.

No priest have none of that. We may have to go from a funeral to a school assembly and onto a Council meeting all without any real space and always having to be the “professional Christian” and all that entails, mostly seemingly – being nice.

It’s easy for a day even a week but after 20 years it is the most exquisite torture, in which grace is that glass of water held just out of reach while you die of thirst.

Of course we have our retreats and our staff meetings and our chapters. Which so often are little more than “Bitch and Boast” sessions. Where, lest we show have broken we are, we whinge about our Bishops and boast (often with our fingers crossed) about our latest success. Everyone listening and hating it because our vocation keeps reminding us “it shall not be so among you” but we cannot help it because we have to be so fucking competent and so fucking together and so fucking right all the fucking time.

Woe to you who are to proud to ask for help, woe to you who wrap yourself in your cursed good works and busyness, woe to you who have forgone a relationship with your loving Father for the sake of hoping that “being a good priest” will salve your freakish insecurity AND win you a place in heaven. Woe. Woe to you who believe your hard work is foundation enough for Christ’s church.

Right next to you, right now in the parish next door another priest is feeling exactly like you do. Maybe if you asked for help, cried a bit more, really prayed a bit more, told your story a bit more you might not only save yourself but her.

And God only knows what endless bullshit we are putting our congregations through.

Lord Jesus Christ have Mercy on me a Sinner.

After which, Alogon said:
I'd like to propose Pyx_e for canonisation.

Picture, if you will, the scene.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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...and we just keep attracting more cool people:

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
quote:
Originally posted by Haydee:
(The best occasion was when a cleaner in some public toilets asked me if they were my daughters. I said yes. She then asked me if their father was black, trying to work out how a white woman could have black children. I told her both their fathers are black. Her eyes nearly burst out of her head, and I had a little snigger to myself…)

You are evil.

I like you.



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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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PATDYS on the loneliness of being a priest thread:

I think the loneliness represents that of all humankind. We are all able to develop relationships outside of our sphere of action where we can bitch....pastorally discuss and debrief. It is the same for every person in every role. But we are not good at relationship. We are not good at love. We are too proud, too important and too broken. And others have not earned our love and trust. So instead, we develop electronic relationship and hide behind pixels. We find it safer to talk across the world, even though experience shows us it is not.

Our friends die from sepsis, from cancer, from birth, from suicide, from pain. And yet it remains easier than real life. Christ showed us how to live. How to fight, how to love, how to live in community. And we are afraid. Priest or pagan, doc or diseased, sinner or sai-self deluded, we are afraid to love. Because it hurts . Life is lonely.

But the joy I see in the church, the hope and the transformation is in the hints, the promise, the possibility of love. So as a priest, as an example, have the courage to love, to be hurt and broken. And allow me to walk along side and share in the richness of that life.

And at times I will let you down and crucify you too...


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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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IngoB and the Prots are having at in Purg. As usual. But I found a warm spot in my heart for IngoB's defense of the Holy Mother:
quote:
Now the deal is simply this: benighted Catholics are talking out of their arses about many, many issues of Catholic faith. But not about the BVM. That's not doctrine. That's visceral. The old ladies arranging the flowers will spank you if you mess with her. It's not done. In a way it's even closer to the bone than Christ. Jesus is God, He's a big boy, He can handle Himself. Mary is not. She's a pregnant girl. She is a desperate mum. She gets this whole salvation business dumped on her and deals. She's us. Mess with her, mess with us.
Amen. [Angel]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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And another pithy comment by ken on the "Schismatics" thread:
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
I always wondered what to the RC church when it was headquartered in Avignon. And how it was that 2 or 3 popes were simultaneously infallible and infallibly fighting each other.

Its quantum infallibility. You can't know its exact position and velocity.
[Snigger]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Doc Tor, in a recent Purg thread about anti-semitism which reached the shocking, revelatory conclusion that some anti-Zionists are anti-semitic:

Next week on Stating the Bleeding Obvious, the Pope caught on camera celebrating Mass, and Bears: is there an arboreal-scatalogical connection?

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead

I am
# 21

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Albertus, responding to a post about Jesus 'striding on the quarterdeck and playing with a straight bat'

quote:
Tricky place to play cricket, of course- you wouldn't get any decent bounce off of the deck, unless I suppose you put down matting. I suppose it might be possible to erect a practice net on a quarterdeck- and (assumes Alan-Bennett-type vicar voice) who is to say that that is not what our Lord indeed did? Have we considered the possibility that when He found James and John mending their nets, it was not fishing nets that they were mending, but cricket nets? I like to think of those two as a sort of apostolic Bedser twins, going out to the wicket under the instructions of their captain, part of that greater team- a full eleven plus a twelfth man who, alas, so sadly let them down in the end - which... (contd v94).


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At times like this I find myself thinking, what would the Amish do?

Posts: 9123 | From: Near where I was before. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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quote:
Doc Tor, via mousethief: Bears: is there an arboreal-scatalogical connection?
I admit that I had to look up 'scatalogical' before the penny dropped!

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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The thing I love about Moo is she's so pragmatic:

quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
TICTH this pillock, and any other twat who would give class-A drugs to children.

I agree it is heinous, but I'm also flabbergasted that he would give away something so valuable. I wonder if he was high when he did it.

Moo



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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Posted by Soror Magna in the 2012 U.S. election thread:

quote:
President Obama, like every other President, placed his hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution, not the other way around.


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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alwyn
Shipmate
# 4380

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This gem is from Circuit Rider on 'It's Saturday Morning - here they come' in Purgatory.

quote:
Originally posted by Circuit Rider:
I heard a story about a woman who was visited several Saturdays in a row by JWs, two women, handing out literature and talking their doctrine.

One Saturday the woman decided she had had enough, and prepared for them. Sure enough, at the time she had been visited before, the doorbell rang.

Opening the door she saw two different women, but they had literature in their hand, so they were welcomed in. "Before we start," she said, "I want us to do something." She faced an American flag she had placed in her living room and said the pledge of allegiance. Then she sang the national anthem, "Star Spangled Banner." When she finished she invited her guests to sit down and said, "Now, how can I help you?"

One of the women visitors, clearly shocked and amazed, said, "In all my years of selling Avon I have never had this happen."

That's brilliant [Killing me]

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Post hoc, ergo propter hoc

Posts: 849 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Porridge, in the latest "criticising Israel is de facto anti-Semitism" thread:

quote:
Is it too much to hope that a thread going round in circles is also circling the drain?


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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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daronmedway:
quote:
I'm positively incandescent with mild pique.
Funniest thing this boy has said in quite a while. And following up an earnest complaint in Hell, too. Huzzah! [Big Grin]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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The Ship closed for a while, and whole new worlds opened for some of us:

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
I read a book. It was weird. There were pieces of paper, all bound up together. They had words on. It didn't have a keyboard. I guess it was a bit like using a Kindle, only fatter and heavier, and without a search facility.



[ 05. November 2012, 08:52: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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[Killing me] At the last sentence about the Kindle. That's gold.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Tell me at some point you haven't held a book in your hand and grumbled, "Why can't I just hit 'search'!"

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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Goodness me. I'm on record as having an issue with Martin's cryptic style at times, but this is the best summary of the last 65-odd years of Israeli history I can think of.

quote:
Originally posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard:
Israel is OUR abused child grown up in our abusive image.



[ 06. November 2012, 21:41: Message edited by: orfeo ]

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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Chorister really gave me a chuckle with this helpful hint on the 'Helpful Hand' thread:

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Process in facing backwards, with your hymn book held upside down. Soon it will all begin to make sense.
(I swear there are some people in my choir who do this all the time [Ultra confused] )



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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Curiosity killed ...

Ship's Mug
# 11770

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Adeodatus on the Archbishop Welby thread:

quote:
Not just biblical. The great St Ambrose went from catechumen to Bishop of Milan in just over a week. I'm really just imagining the Crown Appointments committee sitting round a table, throwing the names of bishops into baskets marked "Too Old", "Too Catholic", "Too Mad" ...
[Big Grin]

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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat

Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346

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IngoB on the Pax Christi thread in Purgatory
quote:
I think violence, like poverty, will always be with us. We often think of the poor from the perspective of the rich, i.e., they are a convenient opportunity for our charity. But the poor themselves often cannot do other than being poor, and they have to hope for better times. Yet I do not think that the Lord smiles more on the rich than on the poor. So perhaps we can see in this how it is with physical violence. Perhaps we should see ourselves as rich in peace now. Sixty years ago, our parents and grandparents were poor in peace. And most of them did not know how to escape being poor in peace, and had to hope for better times, when the fighting would somehow come to an end. We should regret this, deeply, as with poverty. But we should be careful what and whom we are condemning in this. Perhaps a better question is why we now, so rich in peace, see fit to deprive other people of peace so much. Why are our armies so active, why do our weapon foundries make so much money?
A thing of beauty. [Overused]

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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka

Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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Sine Nomine on "Dogpiling in Hell."

quote:
I commented to a friend "It's not mean if it's true."

She responded: "It's especially mean if it's true."



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Last ever sig ...

blog

Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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This may only be appreciated by Mornington Crescent aficionados but this by Karl:Liberal Backslider is glorious:

quote:
I think, sir, that if you are going to try the Leamington Spa nonsense here, we'd be better off discussing it in the Hot Place.

Goodge Street

As you know, and choose to conveniently forget, the Dronfield Variations are completely independent of the Leamington Spa Schism, and occurred before that particular shameful incident burst onto our screens. As was pointed out at the time that the Leamington Spa Mafia started bleating their nonsense, the adoption of their ridiculous ideas would lead to reverse shunts losing their entire raison d'etre outside the very lowest levels of the game. We thought we meant "easiest", but it turns out that the change was supported by the "lowest" levels of the game in more ways than one.

This should be all ancient history by now, and would be, were it not for the wooden-brained bleating from some die-hard idiots who neither understood the implications of their proposed revisions, nor cared sufficiently for the game to understand their ramifications.

It's hardly surprising that some of us feel very strongly about this, especially those of us with ties to the Coal Aston Crescentites, as alluded to earlier.

Your move.

I particularly like "The Leamington Spa Mafia"

[Killing me]

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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A fair and sensible summary from Gamaliel:

As to what the HTB background will mean ... I'm not sure it'll make a great deal of discernible difference in Welby's case in that he clearly gets on well with people of other traditions and is comfortable with different styles of worship. An HTB background may certainly incline him in a broad evangelical direction but I don't think it'd lead to him tearing out altar screens and replacing them with platforms for worship bands ...

HTB comes in for a lot of stick - and I often mete it out myself - but I don't consider it any kind of impediment in Welby's case ... at least, not at the moment I don't.

To give the evangelicals their due, at their best they bring enthusiasm, enterprise and organisational ability to the table. I wouldn't want to see a CofE that was exclusively evangelical and where only the HTB-look-alikes thrive, but the onus is on the liberal catholics, Anglo-Catholics and MoR people to get their house in order. I know 'success' isn't measurable in 'worldly terms' and in numbers, the size of the collection plate and so on ... still less in managerialism and slick marketing and so forth. But I don't object to aspects of the evo/HTB style approach ... provided it's tempered by other influences and emphases.


--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Great Gumby

Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989

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Nothing to add to this one:
quote:
Originally posted by mdijon:
We're talking about blokes who dress in cassocks, wear pectoral crosses, carry crooks around with them and have funny patterned pointy hats, and we're discussing whether looking odd is an impediment to the job?



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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman

A letter to my son about death

Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged



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