Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

quote:

---

Originally posted by mousethief:
I'm not sure I've ever been compared to a Star Trek episode before.

---

You know, earlier this week I had decided that God's sole purpose in putting me on this earth was to give other people an ego boost. This just cinches it. Here I am trying to pull your tail, and you figure out a way to frame me putting you in a death dance with MartinPCNot as a compliment.

Can't you exhibit just the tiniest bit of narcissistic wounding, just to make me feel like I can do something else with my life? Call me a bitch or something. Complain about me in the Styx. Anything.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by mousethief:

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Bastard.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
You're so far up your own ass that it can only be described using non-Euclidian geometry.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

when I see parentheses (like this) I (that would be me) tend to (rather than have an evidence base for) see them as indicating (probably intentionally) that the contents (inside, as it were) are not as important (parenthetical point) as the stuff outside of parentheses (not like this).

(And that's an important point to make).

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I fuckin' tried!

The thing is, when MT is being cool, you want to just live in the moment, because it can pass with lightning swiftness. And then all of a sudden you find yourself having a conversation like this:

Kelly:I like navel oranges.

MT: Oranges don't have navels.

Kelly. It's just what they call them.

MT: Who's they?

Kelly: I dunno, some fruit mogul I guess. It's just part of the language now.

MT: So you are willing to continue a scientific inaccuracy just because it's the common practice? No wonder Creationist hold sway in our country.

Kelly: How the hell did Creationists come into it?

MT: If you can't parse that, I don't see why I should help you.

Kelly: Lighten the hell up, Mousethief, it's oranges. Why are you suddenly the Noam Chomsky of oranges?

MT: Why are you being so bitchy?

Kelly:Why are you being so douchey?

MT: How the hell dare you call me a douche?

Kelly: You started it! You called me a bitch!

MT: Tu quoque!


(Takes bow)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
(From another thread)

quote:

---

Originally posted by mousethief:
Oh BTW your dialogue was very funny.

---

(Assuming you meant the above.) It occurred to me much later that "Tu Quoque" is your version of "THIRD BASE!"

And I laughed, and laughed...

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze on the Calling myself to Hell thread
So it's weird Papist stuff? Ten Hail Marys and make an arse of yourself on a bulletin board?

Let's hope he sins up to the level of a Vow of Silence or a pilgrimage to somewhere wi-filess.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

It's like coming home to find the dogs have found something aged to perfection in the trash.

Jaysus. There's no limit to the smelly shit you'll all roll in when I'm not watching, is there?

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

[Y]our posts are random ejaculatory statements. The logic that may (or may not) link them together remains hidden beneath the cover of your fevered brow. You rarely bother to write the prose necessary to convince your reader to agree with you as you hop from disjointed statement to disjointed statement, as if you were some demented frog, traversing the lilypads of your private mental pond.

---

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Trisagion:
I'm so glad to have given you such entertainment. Get out much?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilBuddha:
No, I do not. They are getting better about fastening the straps.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by horsethorn:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Emily Windsor-Cragg:
Another thought:

Jesus taught: "Ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free."

---

Out of interest, how do you know this jesus guy wasn't just another annunaki stooge?

ht

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilBuddha:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Oh right.

(I'm telling you, when you pray to St. Onan, use that time to practice endurance.)

---

But Orfeo doesn't have to. As both participants are men, there should be less of a disparity in, erm, completion times.

---

That was a rhetorical "you", I should have said, but boy, does that line have potential as a meditation device...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Meditation device? Would that be an additional setting; Fast, slow and meditation?

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

TICTH (Today I consign to Hell) late spring randy botanicals having sex in my sinuses.

I've never been this allergic in my life. I'm so sneezy I'm a danger on the road.

GET A ROOM, TREES!

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

W is for Westminster Abbey, the hotel God stays in when he's visiting the Queen.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Amos (from Mousethief):
... faggism is the one really really bad sin ...

---

I'm so glad I managed to give up smoking ...

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Albertus:
Ah yes, one of those Pond differences: over here no-one would take much notice if I were blithely to announce that 'I just can't get going until I've sucked on my first fag of the morning', but I imagine most Transatlantic eyebrows might rise...

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeRoc:
I read another piece of research somewhere that concluded that when someone of the opposite sex enters a room, statistically men will look more at her genital area, whereas women will look more at the quality of his shoes.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
And I read a piece of research that men who can chew and read at the same time, are more likely to put their wives' clothes on in times of stress.

Hint: I made this up. I was just ogling somebody, and it drove me to tell a lie. I'm sorry.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by QLib:
Sometimes, RooK, I just wish you'd come straight out and say what you think instead of pussy-footing around with all those mealy-mouthed euphemisms.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Yes Sebbie...gay divorce. And death of spouse -- widow if the survivor is female, widower if the survivor is male.

Here we've just celebrated the 10th anniversary of allowing same-sex couples to marry (not same-sex marriage, please, just regular ordinary marriage open to same-sex couples). There have been divorces, and, I presume, deaths among the married. Stands to reason -- some of them had been living together for 40 years or more when they were finally allowed to marry, and not so many people live into their 80s and 90s.

And you know what? It hasn't made a hoot of difference to the married straights, to the living common-law straights, to the just living together straights, to the serially monogamous straights, to the divorced or widowed straights, to the promiscuous straights or to the chaste or celibate straights. Or to anyone else.

John

---

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

Posted                       

quote:

---

Perhaps (from a sense of irony) my dying words could be "Five minutes more not two." To which my beloved 18 year old, sixth wife will answer "But you will only abuse those extra minutes."

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doc Tor:

It's like Gandhi said: "I like your social justice, I do not like your social justice bloggers. Your social justice bloggers do not model social justice."

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dafyd:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yorick:
It is helpful, for example, to understand that newborn babies are in fact atheists, because an appreciation of this fact affects our further understanding of things.

---

It is not a fact. It is a tendentious decision to define a word in a particular way for polemical purposes.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Indifferently, I am a Quaker, I am enjoined by my faith to seek that of God in everyone - where have you hidden yours, you sad fuck?

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

I think all this touchy-feely, let's-be-nice-to-each-other-even-if-it-kills-us stuff is a side product of that vile modern heresy that the other people around me in church are my friends. I find the Quakers admirable and wonderful people, but I believe their one big mistake was calling themselves Friends. Jesus and Paul got it right: those other folk in church are our sisters and brothers, not our friends. Like sisters and brothers, we're stuck with them, and while we're commanded to love them, nobody says we have to actually like them.

Ooh. That's got all my Friday feeling out of my system. I feel much better now.

---

Posted                         

quote:

---

Of course, there was a horrible fire at Fucks Farms this week. Truly terrible. The entire crop of fucks was destroyed. Therefore I am currently unable to give a single fuck about you and your opinion.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
Concentrating on virginity as this prized object is, as I see it, focusing on sexual sin in a rather negative and unhealthy way, and reenforces a completely false virgin/slut dichotomy. Sexual ethics do not begin and end with the first act of intercourse. It is no less important to have sex the 1,000th time for the right reasons than it is the first.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by the giant cheeseburger:
If an English team wins a match and nobody is able to watch it, did the win actually happen?

---

--------------------
a theological scrapbook

Posted                         

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:

---

Originally posted by PeteC:
Is a certain cache a certain type of hiding place?

---

It's where old pixels go before they fade away.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by dj_ordinaire:
And by the by, I definitely believe in the traditional definition of marriage, which in England is defined by the presence of sausage rolls and those little cheese-and-pineapple-on-stick thingies, as our Lord intended.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeRoc:
Most Hell threads start out with more mundane stuff and end up discussing people's penises. Has some fundamental reversal taken place in the Universe?

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
I do wonder if here is anything - ANYTHING - up to and including the outbreak of world peace, universal brotherhood, conquest of all diseases, wiping away of tears from every eye - which would not provoke a cavil from your mean, miserable, petty, sour, narrow little soul.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by orfeo:
Being a host is like being the curator of a public art space. You set the space up. You advertise the opening to the community. You tell them all about the different materials you're going to provide for them to use. Offer them classes in different media. Try to generate excitement about how this is going to be THEIR space to create, to share with each other.

And then the art space finally opens, and the only contribution on the first morning is a 16-year-old scrawling "GAVIN IS A COCKSUCKER" in large letters.

After a while you start lowering your expectations to the point where a good day is when 'cocksucker' is spelled correctly and in an attractive font.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by balaam:
From the Andy Murray thread in Hell:

quote:

---

Originally posted by orfeo:
...After a while you start lowering your expectations to the point where a good day is when 'cocksucker' is spelled correctly and in an attractive font.

---

There's a correct font for "cocksucker." The sort of useful information you only find on the Ship.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Taliesin:

quote:

---

Originally posted by North East Quine:
Surely tampons and pads make poor missiles? They're not heavy, and pads are not aerodynamic; it would be impossible to throw one with any degree of accuracy. Standing in the door of my study, I couldn't reliably hit the window of my study with one, i.e. I could not be sure of hitting a target measuring 5ft x 3ft at a distance of 12 feet.

---

Anyone intending to throw a tampon soaks it first. I believe beer is the liquid of choice, and I wish I didn't know this. It wasn't me, ok??

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

I knew her before she became a hermit.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Yes you are, [poster being replied to]. Very much so. In so many different ways. Total and utter arsehole. You could teach postgraduates at the Institute of Advanced Arsehole Studies. You are more full of shit than the Delhi sewer network. Sir Mix-a-lot wants to write a whole album of songs about the area immediately surrounding you. You could not be more obviously and blatantly an arsehole if you changed your name to Sphincter McAnus.

You are an arsehole.

---

--------------------
We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

Posted                       

quote:

---

God grant him the serenity to host in All Saints;
the courage to host in Hell;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gottschalk:
The fight for the liturgy cannot be better expressed than in the refusal of all attempts at artificial committee-baked liturgies imposed by ruthless and insensitive clerical bureaucracies.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Singles, gay or straight, are superior to you insensitive breeders. Filling up our planet with more resource hogging, pollution causing, noisy little disease vectors. Hang your head in shame!


For the humour impaired, this is a joke. I love children.

Particularly marinated with a good sauce and paired with the proper wine, perhaps a nice Riesling....

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by mousethief:
RIESLING? With red meat?

---

Posted                   

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pyx_e:
The truth? Someone needs to pound your gonads flat with a scaffold pipe in the vain attempt both to knock the silly out of you and the some semblance of sense in.

---