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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jack the Lass:
... Bibaculus on David Bowie:
quote:
I understand he might have been important to some people, but, let us be honest, its not like he has the cultural significance of, say, Nigel Blackwell from Half Man Half Biscuit.
Nigel who? ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
How about this one, from the Death Pool thread?
quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
Please be kind to Piglet who would have scored 32 points had David Bowie died in December.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Just indescribable:
quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
One of the useful things about the '7 deadlies' (or, if you want to go back in time a little further, the '8 thoughts') is that they provide a kind of decomposition of our faults into separate axes of 'sin space'.
Unlike Cartesian (3D xyz) space, colour (rgb), taste (sweet, sour etc) and Fourier (!) decomposition, sin space does not seem to have very orthogonal axes - there seems to be some overlap or redundancy between them. But still, it can be useful to consider what proportions of rgb comprise your personal shade of brown, without needing to think that red (for example) somehow caused green and blue - which would be reductionism, not simply useful decomposition.
.
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I'd like to see a Fourier transform of my sins. I'm sure it would look interesting ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
Just take the stuff you do, multiply it by e^j(fuckery_n *t) where 0<n<8, and integrate dt from the dawn of time to the end of all ages.
Or truncate at your birth and death if you prefer, or estimate over one waking day if you tend to do the same old shit.
Try to avoid being mid-sin as you wake or go to sleep; truncation errors may be improved by using a window function, at the cost of explicit spiritual guidance smearing across sin space and giving only generalised impressions of undifferentiated wankery.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Adeodatus: quote:
Anglican "apologies" on this (Dead Horse) issue always translate as "We're really sorry we keep punching you. If it's any consolation, it's really starting to hurt our fists now."
[ 16. January 2016, 04:58: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
The 'one' in the first sentence is a cockatiel.
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
A friend of mine had one. The family kept a special collection of brightly coloured chiffon headscarves handy because the bird would land on your head unless you were wearing one of these. There was no way to avoid looking like a wally when visiting as everybody had either a headscarf or a bird on their head.
The picture in my mind is hysterical!
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
No ibises (ibes?) in Brazil. Many great egrets though.
Egrets... I've had a few...
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
But then again, too few to mention.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I'll stick with Piaf.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Amanda B's response in AS to Lamb Chopped's quote from her son deserves preservation:
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
The Lord bless and keep you . . . The Lord lift up his continence upon you.
Definitely one for the SOF Quotes File. I should frame it and post it in the dining room at my father's nursing home.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
![[Eek!]](eek.gif) At least we have to mention that it was a slip of the tongue--and not mine! ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
The set-up line:
Nouveau riche, darling.
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I've got a darling ass you can kiss, buddy.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
oi! That was not a set-up!
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
mdijon in Dead Horses (the LGBT Anglican Clergy thread), about the moderate position in the CofE:
quote:
I think that's the point. There is no moderate. We are either fallen-away, luke-warm heretical diluters of the gospel and complicit with sinners or upholders of the gospel according to St Bastard. The middle is squeezed into oblivion.
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Did not want you to feel left out Orfeo, not in your preferred place centre-stage.
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Darling, if I want control of the narrative, I'll wrest it from you.
This just reminded me of an exchange Noel Coward might write.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Eirenist in Heaven talking about an amazingly long-running radio soap:
quote:
There's nothing wrong with The Archers that couldn't be put right by Tom, say, running amok with a chain-saw . . .
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
In the thread about chimps building cairns and asking if this is emerging religion.
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
It's not how religious the chimps are being. It's how chimp the religious are being.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Um. Did Martin Luther ever entertain the idea of reincarnation? Because this sounds like something from his insult generator, neologism aside:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
3. I hope an incontinent drop bear crawls into your shoe closet and finds your favourite pair, you monotreme-felching santorum stain.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Zappa completely fails to mince his words in "When church is an introvert's hell" in AS:
quote:
And chat fests to share your soul or be told you're spiritually ill if you don't? They make Cthulhu and all Angels vomit in four part harmony.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Just because.
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:
Oh brave new world, that has such fuckwits in it ...
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Helhost:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
Great Googly Moogly, I leave y'alls alone long enough to have some soda bread, homebrewed porter, and a shot of Jameson and I find This on my doorstep.
I used to be Lord of the Circus. I was a god. A king. People respected me. People feared me. I ended Mornington Crescent. More than once, even. Can't hardly do that to the DC Metro...well, okay, the Metro doesn't need my help to be fucked up, but LET'S PASS OVER THAT, MMKAY?
How the mighty have fallen. Now I have to herd an incontinent golden retriever complaining about introverts rather than parrying witty repartee from Budhette. Now I deal with lightweights who turn into Little Lost Puppies in the face of a little Cuervo. Why. Just Why.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by hatless:
Yes. The power of God is often used as a get-out-of-logic card.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Lamb Chopped: He thinks maybe Jesus popped into the soldiers' barracks and politely asked for them back
I can just imagine this. So they're lulling around in their barrack on Sunday morning, and this guy they crucified two days ago (they remember Him because of all those crazy women around) walks in naked as a jaybird: "would you terribly mind giving those back to me?" Dumbstruck, they hand Him over the package, stammering "o-… of course sir". Minutes after He left, they're still standing still, staring at the emptiness in front of them with enormous eyes.
Love.This.
Too funny.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
But what does "God exists" mean? Clearly, God doesn't exist in the same way as, say, a table exists.
Oh, I don't know, I bump into him from time to time... And the bruises are very real.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
I've 3 different sized cafetieres, plus an old stove-top percolator. One of the children informs me that when camping he uses an ordinary jug and puts the coffee in an old sock
The French expression for horrible, weak coffee is jus de chaussette (sock juice)...
We learn things in Heaven.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Graven Image on the Retirement thread is AS:
quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
...Finally help others to learn that , "NO," is a complete sentence.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Humble Servant in the Geometry and the Gospel thread in Eccles:
quote:
He's judging you for judging us for judging this lady for judging someone else's behaviour in church. Is that right Mousethief?
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
quote:
Why did God create the universe, and us?
Hey, we've all had boring Sunday afternoons that got out of hand.
Yeah. One time Sunday afternoon engulfed most of the rest of the week.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
que sais-je on the 'Why did God create the universe, and us?' thread.
quote:
...being omniscient he already knew it how it was going to turn out. Personally I'd have stopped right there (except of course I'd know I wasn't going to).
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plug plug
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Molopata creates a rather excellent new word on the Pastafarian thread in Heaven:
quote:
Originally posted by Molopata:
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
I am a pastafarian agnostic with doubts. If it's wholemeal, can it be the One True Pasta?
That would be more correctly referred to as an agnocchi.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Felafool in Purg optimist/pessimist thread quote:
I used to be a Pessimist. Now that I have become an Optimist I can see a lot of good reasons for being a Pessimist.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
When Kerygmaniacs carp.
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
What bugs me about conflating all the anointers/washers is that it cuts down on the number of interesting, intelligent, adult women interacting with Jesus, and reduces them all to a single troubled individual who is easily pigeonholed and disregarded as a stereotypical prostitute. And what's with that, anyway? We have no idea what sin the repentant woman had committed; for all we know, it could have been widespread financial fraud.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
On the circus that is the lead-up to the U.S. presidential elections:
quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
It's all fun and games until the horsemen of the apocalypse show up
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
The assholery of the human race is, by and large, the reason why we cannot have nice things.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Alan constructs one sentence that the entire UN would probably agree upon:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
(I wouldn't, but) I'd be tempted to buy the gun then turn up at his door and shoot him with it (before he has a chance to cash the cheque and give it to support the vile causes he's highlighted). If it's not illegal to use that gun to shoot a kid for walking while black, it can't be illegal to use it to shoot someone for the much graver offence of breathing while being an arsehole.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Ricardus: quote:
Revelation: GIANT MANY-HEADED MONSTERS DESTROY THE WORLD!!! (Tea and biscuits will be served afterwards.)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Alan constructs one sentence that the entire UN would probably agree upon
Clearly I'm not in the UN (only just saw this).
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
My experience is that there is little practical value in vilifying people.
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Really.
Predicting that exchange would have had really long odds with any discerning bookie.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Stetson muses on paradoxes in American political rhetoric:
quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
And has anyone else noticed this Democratic rhetoric about how Trump will undo "decades of US foreign-policy consensus?
I never knew American liberals regarded previous US administrations as such paragons of far-sighted geopolitical acumen and virtue.
HEY HEY LBJ
HOW MANY KIDS DID YOU KILL TODAY?
BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS SOME OTHER PEOPLE WHO COULD BE PRESIDENT!!
BUSH LIED, PEOPLE DIED!!
THOUGH WE DO GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR OPERATING WITHIN THE ACCEPTED PARAMETERS OF FOREIGN POLICY WISDOM!!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Pigwidgeon doesn't mince her words in a sub-thread conversation about silly place-names in AS:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
...and, of course, the incomparable Dildo.
I guess that comes in handy when you can't get to Intercourse.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Oooh, I've never made the Quotes File before!
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
A fine entry that belongs both here and in the hermeneutical cirque du soleil from Adeodatus.
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
...how many angels were there at the tomb on the day of the Resurrection? Matthew and Mark say one; Luke and John say two. But "Ah," say our inerrantists, "'One' might mean 'at least one', so there were two." Fine, but if I tell you there's a man waiting round the next corner to attack you with an axe, and you think, "Well it's only one man, I can take him on", you're going to be pretty miffed if there turn out to be six.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Brevity is the soul of wit.
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
The art of the one liner
In a two hour long video? ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Paradoxes make me tingly.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Contributed by a talented newby.
Tibi Omnes: quote:
Really, they should give gay people who want to join churches a signing bonus.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Contributed by a talented newby.
Tibi Omnes: quote:
Really, they should give gay people who want to join churches a signing bonus.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Nick Tamen identifies the elephant in the room.
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
The mention of prolife leads me to ask if Trump is pro anything.
Yes, he is. He is pro-Trump.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Alan Cresswell on the In, Out, In, Out thread:
quote:
The chaos in the Leave camp is a simple case of chickens coming home to roost. And, most of those chickens seem to have lost their heads.
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
On the Chilcot Inquiry thread into the Second Iraq War (2003 and onwards), Tony Blair's attempts to justify his actions have taken up most of comments. Martin 60 puts it briefly and accurately:
Blair has apologized FULLY and taken FULL responsibility for doing NOTHING wrong.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Betjemaniac sums up Andrea Leadsome's recent record on honesty: quote:
Originally posted by betjemaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
just voting for May and adding "Won MPs vote by a country mile" to her CV before sending her to the members.
they may as well, on current form Mrs Leadsom will undoubtedly have added it to hers...
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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