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Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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quote:
Originally posted by Jack the Lass:
... Bibaculus on David Bowie:
quote:
I understand he might have been important to some people, but, let us be honest, its not like he has the cultural significance of, say, Nigel Blackwell from Half Man Half Biscuit.

Nigel who? [Devil]

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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How about this one, from the Death Pool thread?

quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
Please be kind to Piglet who would have scored 32 points had David Bowie died in December.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Just indescribable:

quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
One of the useful things about the '7 deadlies' (or, if you want to go back in time a little further, the '8 thoughts') is that they provide a kind of decomposition of our faults into separate axes of 'sin space'.
Unlike Cartesian (3D xyz) space, colour (rgb), taste (sweet, sour etc) and Fourier (!) decomposition, sin space does not seem to have very orthogonal axes - there seems to be some overlap or redundancy between them. But still, it can be useful to consider what proportions of rgb comprise your personal shade of brown, without needing to think that red (for example) somehow caused green and blue - which would be reductionism, not simply useful decomposition.
.

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I'd like to see a Fourier transform of my sins. I'm sure it would look interesting [Smile]

quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
Just take the stuff you do, multiply it by e^j(fuckery_n *t) where 0<n<8, and integrate dt from the dawn of time to the end of all ages.
Or truncate at your birth and death if you prefer, or estimate over one waking day if you tend to do the same old shit.
Try to avoid being mid-sin as you wake or go to sleep; truncation errors may be improved by using a window function, at the cost of explicit spiritual guidance smearing across sin space and giving only generalised impressions of undifferentiated wankery.
[Smile]



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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Adeodatus:
quote:
Anglican "apologies" on this (Dead Horse) issue always translate as "We're really sorry we keep punching you. If it's any consolation, it's really starting to hurt our fists now."


[ 16. January 2016, 04:58: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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The 'one' in the first sentence is a cockatiel.
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
A friend of mine had one. The family kept a special collection of brightly coloured chiffon headscarves handy because the bird would land on your head unless you were wearing one of these. There was no way to avoid looking like a wally when visiting as everybody had either a headscarf or a bird on their head.

The picture in my mind is hysterical!

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
No ibises (ibes?) in Brazil. Many great egrets though.

Egrets... I've had a few...
[Big Grin]

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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But then again, too few to mention.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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I'll stick with Piaf.

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Amanda B's response in AS to Lamb Chopped's quote from her son deserves preservation:
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
The Lord bless and keep you . . . The Lord lift up his continence upon you.

Definitely one for the SOF Quotes File. I should frame it and post it in the dining room at my father's nursing home.
[Overused]

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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[Eek!] At least we have to mention that it was a slip of the tongue--and not mine! [Snigger]
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520

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quote:
The set-up line:
Nouveau riche, darling.

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I've got a darling ass you can kiss, buddy.



--------------------
mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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oi! That was not a set-up!

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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[Killing me] [Yipee] [Yipee] [Yipee]

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"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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mdijon in Dead Horses (the LGBT Anglican Clergy thread), about the moderate position in the CofE:

quote:
I think that's the point. There is no moderate. We are either fallen-away, luke-warm heretical diluters of the gospel and complicit with sinners or upholders of the gospel according to St Bastard. The middle is squeezed into oblivion.


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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:

Did not want you to feel left out Orfeo, not in your preferred place centre-stage.

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Darling, if I want control of the narrative, I'll wrest it from you.

This just reminded me of an exchange Noel Coward might write.



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"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Eirenist in Heaven talking about an amazingly long-running radio soap:

quote:
There's nothing wrong with The Archers that couldn't be put right by Tom, say, running amok with a chain-saw . . .


--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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In the thread about chimps building cairns and asking if this is emerging religion.

quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:

It's not how religious the chimps are being. It's how chimp the religious are being.

[Overused]

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Garden. Room. Walk

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Um. Did Martin Luther ever entertain the idea of reincarnation? Because this sounds like something from his insult generator, neologism aside:

quote:
Originally posted by RooK:

3. I hope an incontinent drop bear crawls into your shoe closet and finds your favourite pair, you monotreme-felching santorum stain.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Zappa completely fails to mince his words in "When church is an introvert's hell" in AS:
quote:
And chat fests to share your soul or be told you're spiritually ill if you don't? They make Cthulhu and all Angels vomit in four part harmony.
[Killing me] [Overused] [Killing me]

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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The Phantom Flan Flinger
Shipmate
# 8891

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Meanwhile in Hell, Schroedinger's cat expands on the theory that God is everywhere...


quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:

And these examples are just blatant cases of people finding God in their arses.



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http://www.faith-hope-and-confusion.com/

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Just because.

quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight:

Oh brave new world, that has such fuckwits in it ...



--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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The Loneliness of the Long Distance Helhost:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
Great Googly Moogly, I leave y'alls alone long enough to have some soda bread, homebrewed porter, and a shot of Jameson and I find This on my doorstep.

I used to be Lord of the Circus. I was a god. A king. People respected me. People feared me. I ended Mornington Crescent. More than once, even. Can't hardly do that to the DC Metro...well, okay, the Metro doesn't need my help to be fucked up, but LET'S PASS OVER THAT, MMKAY?

How the mighty have fallen. Now I have to herd an incontinent golden retriever complaining about introverts rather than parrying witty repartee from Budhette. Now I deal with lightweights who turn into Little Lost Puppies in the face of a little Cuervo. Why. Just Why.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by hatless:
Yes. The power of God is often used as a get-out-of-logic card.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Lamb Chopped: He thinks maybe Jesus popped into the soldiers' barracks and politely asked for them back
I can just imagine this. So they're lulling around in their barrack on Sunday morning, and this guy they crucified two days ago (they remember Him because of all those crazy women around) walks in naked as a jaybird: "would you terribly mind giving those back to me?" Dumbstruck, they hand Him over the package, stammering "o-… of course sir". Minutes after He left, they're still standing still, staring at the emptiness in front of them with enormous eyes.
Love.This.

Too funny.

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
But what does "God exists" mean? Clearly, God doesn't exist in the same way as, say, a table exists.

Oh, I don't know, I bump into him from time to time... And the bruises are very real.

[Big Grin]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
I've 3 different sized cafetieres, plus an old stove-top percolator. One of the children informs me that when camping he uses an ordinary jug and puts the coffee in an old sock [Eek!]

The French expression for horrible, weak coffee is jus de chaussette (sock juice)...
We learn things in Heaven. [Big Grin]

--------------------
Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Graven Image on the Retirement thread is AS:

quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
...Finally help others to learn that , "NO," is a complete sentence.



--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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North East Quine

Curious beastie
# 13049

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Humble Servant in the Geometry and the Gospel thread in Eccles:

quote:
He's judging you for judging us for judging this lady for judging someone else's behaviour in church. Is that right Mousethief?


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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
quote:
Why did God create the universe, and us?
Hey, we've all had boring Sunday afternoons that got out of hand.

Yeah. One time Sunday afternoon engulfed most of the rest of the week.

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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que sais-je on the 'Why did God create the universe, and us?' thread.

quote:
...being omniscient he already knew it how it was going to turn out. Personally I'd have stopped right there (except of course I'd know I wasn't going to).


--------------------
plug plug

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Molopata creates a rather excellent new word on the Pastafarian thread in Heaven:
quote:
Originally posted by Molopata:
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
I am a pastafarian agnostic with doubts. If it's wholemeal, can it be the One True Pasta?

That would be more correctly referred to as an agnocchi.
[Overused] [Killing me]

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 19601 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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Felafool in Purg optimist/pessimist thread
quote:
I used to be a Pessimist. Now that I have become an Optimist I can see a lot of good reasons for being a Pessimist.


--------------------
So goodnight moon, I want the sun
If it's not here soon, I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

- A. N. Parsley, D. Mcvinni

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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When Kerygmaniacs carp.
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:


What bugs me about conflating all the anointers/washers is that it cuts down on the number of interesting, intelligent, adult women interacting with Jesus, and reduces them all to a single troubled individual who is easily pigeonholed and disregarded as a stereotypical prostitute. And what's with that, anyway? We have no idea what sin the repentant woman had committed; for all we know, it could have been widespread financial fraud.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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On the circus that is the lead-up to the U.S. presidential elections:

quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
It's all fun and games until the horsemen of the apocalypse show up



--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
The assholery of the human race is, by and large, the reason why we cannot have nice things.



--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19991 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Alan constructs one sentence that the entire UN would probably agree upon:

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
(I wouldn't, but) I'd be tempted to buy the gun then turn up at his door and shoot him with it (before he has a chance to cash the cheque and give it to support the vile causes he's highlighted). If it's not illegal to use that gun to shoot a kid for walking while black, it can't be illegal to use it to shoot someone for the much graver offence of breathing while being an arsehole.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

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Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Ricardus:
quote:
Revelation: GIANT MANY-HEADED MONSTERS DESTROY THE WORLD!!! (Tea and biscuits will be served afterwards.)
[Big Grin]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Alan constructs one sentence that the entire UN would probably agree upon

Clearly I'm not in the UN (only just saw this).

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520

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quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
My experience is that there is little practical value in vilifying people.

quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Really.

Predicting that exchange would have had really long odds with any discerning bookie.

--------------------
mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Stetson muses on paradoxes in American political rhetoric:

quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
And has anyone else noticed this Democratic rhetoric about how Trump will undo "decades of US foreign-policy consensus?

I never knew American liberals regarded previous US administrations as such paragons of far-sighted geopolitical acumen and virtue.

HEY HEY LBJ
HOW MANY KIDS DID YOU KILL TODAY?
BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS SOME OTHER PEOPLE WHO COULD BE PRESIDENT!!

BUSH LIED, PEOPLE DIED!!
THOUGH WE DO GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR OPERATING WITHIN THE ACCEPTED PARAMETERS OF FOREIGN POLICY WISDOM!!



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"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Pigwidgeon doesn't mince her words in a sub-thread conversation about silly place-names in AS:

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
...and, of course, the incomparable Dildo.

I guess that comes in handy when you can't get to Intercourse.


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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 19601 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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Oooh, I've never made the Quotes File before!
[Yipee]

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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A fine entry that belongs both here and in the hermeneutical cirque du soleil from Adeodatus.
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
...how many angels were there at the tomb on the day of the Resurrection? Matthew and Mark say one; Luke and John say two. But "Ah," say our inerrantists, "'One' might mean 'at least one', so there were two." Fine, but if I tell you there's a man waiting round the next corner to attack you with an axe, and you think, "Well it's only one man, I can take him on", you're going to be pretty miffed if there turn out to be six.



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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Brevity is the soul of wit.

quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
The art of the one liner

In a two hour long video? [Roll Eyes]
Paradoxes make me tingly.


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"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Contributed by a talented newby.

Tibi Omnes:
quote:
Really, they should give gay people who want to join churches a signing bonus.



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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Contributed by a talented newby.

Tibi Omnes:
quote:
Really, they should give gay people who want to join churches a signing bonus.


[Overused]

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Nick Tamen identifies the elephant in the room.

Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
The mention of prolife leads me to ask if Trump is pro anything.


Yes, he is. He is pro-Trump.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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Alan Cresswell on the In, Out, In, Out thread:

quote:
The chaos in the Leave camp is a simple case of chickens coming home to roost. And, most of those chickens seem to have lost their heads.


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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5756 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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On the Chilcot Inquiry thread into the Second Iraq War (2003 and onwards), Tony Blair's attempts to justify his actions have taken up most of comments. Martin 60 puts it briefly and accurately:

Blair has apologized FULLY and taken FULL responsibility for doing NOTHING wrong.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24000 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Betjemaniac sums up Andrea Leadsome's recent record on honesty:
quote:
Originally posted by betjemaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:

just voting for May and adding "Won MPs vote by a country mile" to her CV before sending her to the members.

they may as well, on current form Mrs Leadsom will undoubtedly have added it to hers...


--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3695 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged



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