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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
This is truly bizarre but sort of amusing watching people argue that black is in fact white and anyone that says different is going to cause complete and total destruction of colours.
Chive on Mudfrog's suicide dive in hell.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Laura on the current Republicans in power:
quote:
Their devotion to increasing the power and reach of big governnment makes FDR look like a piker and their current operating strategy of burning money in an open field makes my Republican relatives apoplectic.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
While I bailed on the party awhile back, this certainly sums up where the GOP are falling on their face nowadays.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
Yeah, we probably are allowed the occasional off-site quote.
"There will never be a winner in the battle of the sexes. There is too much fraterniing with the enemy." -- Henry Kissinger
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Amoyra's parting words at the Montgomery Steet BART station, as he faced long (well, long enough) walk alone to his hostel in downtown San Francisco:
quote:
If I don't post for two or three days, avenge my death.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lord of all Llamas:
If you cultivate compassion, there's not much room for being a serial killer, an absent parent, or a raging fundamentalist.
-LS
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Because somebody was feeling negelcted...
Classic Sig Line from Kenwritez:
quote:
Don't piss me off! I'm on Atkins and I'd kill you just for the protein
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
If we're allowed the odd off-site quote ...
(My personal justification for doing so is that it provides sig material for those who are undecided sig-wise.)
[ 13. August 2006, 20:04: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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FreeJack
Shipmate
# 10612
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Posted
From Rewboss in the Parish Magazine thread in Hell:
quote:
The other reason for having a newsletter is that if you allow the Sunday School, the Church Council, the Wednesday Wives and all the other groups to submit their interminable reports to the parish magazine instead of reading them out at church while everyone's Sunday joints slowly transform into charcoal in the oven, the newsletter may be dire, but it will be of invaluable service to the community as a whole.
Posts: 3588 | Registered: Oct 2005
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Thanks, Kel. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
There are so many clever, witty lines on the current "Is Bush Churchill?" thread in Purgatory that I'm tempted to quote at least seven - but, for the moment, I'll confine my quote to that of Mousethief:
* One was a great man; the other is a great joke.
* One led his country to victory over a formidable foe; the other is leading his country to ruin for his fundraising friends.
* One was wise; the other is a fool.
* One was a great orator; the other is an embarassment every time he opens his mouth.
* One wrote many very well-crafted books; the other can barely read.
* One had a great vision for his country; the other has a great vision for his supporters.
* One was a wit; the other is a shit.
Sorry, just can't see the comparison.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
Couldn't resist - Alan's response to my post on the Bush and Churchill thread had me on the floor.
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
I doubt that Dubya has ever heard of the Norman Conquest.
Wasn't that when Stormin' Norman conquered the Iraqi army occupy Kuwait?
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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samara
Shipmate
# 9932
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Posted
On the Hell thread, Callan points out why "Jesus wasn't uncertain!" doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong to be.*
quote:
Er, Jesus was the Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds, light of light, very God of very God, of one substance with the Father, all that jazz. You, on the other hand, are just some guy arguing the toss on a discussion board. It could be argued, therefore, that the analogy is not an exact one.
*'Ware the negatives! But I think that comes out right.
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Bookworms will rule the world (after we finish the background reading).
Courtesy of Trouble in China
Posts: 439 | From: Canada | Registered: Aug 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Found it sigworthy,thought I should preserve it here:
From Amazing Grace:
quote:
God is big, God can deal. God often surprises us.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief, after a little Marvin butt-kissing:
Like Marvin, Myrrh always types in words made of letters I recognize.
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Yet another RooK special.
I am the very definition of kindness and light hereabouts. If you find anyone kinder or purer than I on this board, I'll kill them with my own bare hands.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
And this corker from Pyx_e, from the same thread.
Mire, I am a happily married man, of course I don't have sex. Your excuse?
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Izzybee
Shipmate
# 10931
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Posted
A gem from Alan Cresswell in purgatory:
Now, where are you in the body of Christ? Because at the moment you're looking an awful lot like the arse-hole.
Ten points for making diet coke come out of my nose...
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Hate filled bitch musings...
Posts: 1336 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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Izzybee
Shipmate
# 10931
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Posted
Oops - a correction - make that "Alan Cresswell posting in Hell".
You'd think I'd remember over the space of thirty seconds what board I was reading...
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Hate filled bitch musings...
Posts: 1336 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
... we don't have to go too far back in history to when castrati were all the rage in church choirs! Did that make their voices a cut above the rest?
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
I believe this one was from the "No Holidays Please, We're Americans" thread in Purg. I thought it was very insightful.
quote:
A Feminine Force wrote:
I think this is Work Camp America. We can't see the guard towers because they look like banks, can't see the barbed wire because they look like gated communities, and can't see the german shepherds because they look like shiny new SUVs.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Bullfrog.
Prophetic Amphibian
# 11014
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Posted
From Mousethief:
quote:
Further the Revelation is John of Patmos' acid dream and hardly a good source for historical information about the man Jesus of Nazareth.
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Some say that man is the root of all evil
Others say God's a drunkard for pain
Me, I believe that the Garden of Eden
Was burned to make way for a train. --Josh Ritter, Harrisburg
Posts: 7522 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
SteveTom, on the Oscar Romero thread in Purg:
quote:
Mixing politics and religion is like mixing love and sex.
I want to put that on a bumper sticker.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
From The Boondocks:
Riley Freeman, upon discovering that his idolized rap star is a fake, isn't particularly thuggish, and in fact might even be gay:
"It's like getting to Heaven and finding God smoking crack!"
...and Robert "Granddad" Freeman, expressing his not-very-positive opinion about the lifestyle of said idolized rapper:
"What the hell is 'Thuggin' Love'... Is that when you make love to your woman, then right before that special moment, you beat her upside the head, snatch her purse, and throw her down the stairs?!"
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
SteveTom:
quote:
Mixing politics and religion is like mixing love and sex.
SteveTom, is there anything you want to share with the rest of the class about your relationships?
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
From The Boondocks:
Riley Freeman, upon discovering that his idolized rap star is a fake, isn't particularly thuggish, and in fact might even be gay:
"It's like getting to Heaven and finding God smoking crack!"
...and Robert "Granddad" Freeman, expressing his not-very-positive opinion about the lifestyle of said idolized rapper:
"What the hell is 'Thuggin' Love'... Is that when you make love to your woman, then right before that special moment, you beat her upside the head, snatch her purse, and throw her down the stairs?!"
![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
I love that comic.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Geo on the Ouija thread:
Yes, weird shit happens, but if that weird shit happens than god's weird shit should be stronger.
Now that's good. My present top candidate for the 40th of the C of E 39 articles.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Have pinched Steve's as my sig on my church's website forum! Hope he doesn't charge royalties.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
This from the "You know you've grown up when ..." thread in Heaven.
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
You realize that it's not all about you. Sadly, some people never grow up.
That's now in my one-liner collection.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
Nicodemia in Purg, on the "Is God Given too much Credit?" thread:
quote:
But then one person's answered prayer may be another persons pile of shit!
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
And the one that followed it by Jack the Lass is pretty good too:
I think it's possible to cultivate a sense of thankfulness without seeing God behind every cornflake.
Isn't it interesting how there are some threads which just invite fabulous quotes?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
quote:
The Coot explains sermon writing better than most seminaries:
Really, it's not that hard to give an edifying sermon. It doesn't have to be longer than 5 or 6 minutes. Tell the flock how they can apply the gospel of the day to their lives, that God loves them and exhort them to be more Christ-like.
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681
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Posted
I Just love this one...Hope he is ok with me putting in in my sig
Everyone put down your preferred means of overdosing on dopamine, and get the hell off of this thread.
-RooK
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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious
Posts: 2679 | From: Under Downunder | Registered: Mar 2004
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
Zorro in Hell, explaining political theory:
quote:
Under democracy, the stupid people always win.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Figured this deserved a place in Ship Canon:
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
There is so much blatant and demonic bullshit implicit (and often explicit) in Jack Chick's world view that I think any link to his alleged writings should come with a health warning. ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
from Hell:
quote:
Originally posted by The Prophetess:
I had thought that the American taste for conspiracy theories was one rich, goopy soft drink we'd kept to ourselves.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
Anselm ruminating on why it's a good thing he isn't God:
- I'm a bit of an introvert and I find that at times I need a break from relating to people - so that whole Trinity thing would have been a little claustrophobic for me - I think I would have had to send other members of the trinity away at times...so maybe the incarnation and pentecost would have still occurred, just a little earlier and a little more often.
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Tefulchen climbs on the DILUTE! bandwagon:
quote:
What in the name of Dr. Bronner has your Noah's Ark question got to do with Rudyard Kipling?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Sorry, Teufelchen
![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
And Kelly puts it all in perspective with this: quote:
You know, A little rain may fall, we may sail though rough waters, but as long as we can still indulge in gratuitous dick jokes,there is life and hope...
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
One thing I’m learning is whenever I go into ‘I deserve it’ mode I’m in very dangerous territory. All common sense goes right out the window. Particularly when I combine ‘I deserve it’ with that other popular favorite ‘After all, I’m going to be here a long time. - Sine in latest Eagle Swings thread
(This is a hard truth ... that means I have too many shoes and too many hair products...and too much make up and so on...)
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
I'm a collecter and preserver of RooK "oneline specials" and here, from a recent HellHost ruling is a real and well-aimed "special".
Please climb to some overhead power lines, gnaw through their casing, and die.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Nope, just thought you should be better informed about the doings in your own country before you start comparing other people to Nazis. We'll let you know when we see brown-shirted, jack-booted thugs marching down the streets of American cities. Until then, perhaps you would care to study current affairs at home. -RuthW from Spot the difference thread in hell
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
Chorister, on a thread in Purg about Non-Christians posting on the Ship:
quote:
Thank God this site is full of not-Christians, were-once-Christians, not-sure-Christians, not-yet-Christians, not-on-your-life-Christians as well as fully-signed-up-Christians. It is this mix which gives the ship its balance and unique flavour, and makes it worth visiting and contributing to time and time again.
Would make a good introduction to the boards, no?
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Telepath in What to wear to work thread in Heaven.
quote:
Happiness is a drawer full of well-fitting undies.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Chelley
Ship's Old Boot
# 11322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hazey*Jane:
Chorister, on a thread in Purg about Non-Christians posting on the Ship:
quote:
Thank God this site is full of not-Christians, were-once-Christians, not-sure-Christians, not-yet-Christians, not-on-your-life-Christians as well as fully-signed-up-Christians. It is this mix which gives the ship its balance and unique flavour, and makes it worth visiting and contributing to time and time again.
Would make a good introduction to the boards, no?
Amen to that! Or 'absolutely', for the nots/not yets and all that!
--------------------
"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who
Posts: 2870 | From: Wonderland, UK | Registered: Apr 2006
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
The Paranoid thread in circus is ripe with great quotes. here's jedijudy's latest inspired message:
quote:
Earwax sonata! I repeat! Earwax sonata! alpha one, beta one, Eisenhower.
[ 11. October 2006, 02:47: Message edited on a spaz of: cometchaser ]
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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