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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Ken, in Hell, wrote one of the most non-swearword-using putdowns I have ever read outside of John Diefenbaker in Hansard:
quote:
So you have chosen to promote the cause by acting out the role of a all-boys-together, arrogant, arse-licking, brain-dead-anglo-catholic, carping, elitist, exclusionist, faux-aesthete, gin-swilling, hole-in-a-corner, incense-swinging, irrelevancy-wallowing, irrelevant, lace-covered, misdirecting, misogynist, muck-racking, mud-slinging, obscurantist, obstructionist, out-of-touch, over-fastidious, port-and-lemon, precious, precisionist, purblind, sanctimonious, sectarian, sentimental, sky-high, sneering, supercilious, tat-fondling, Tory-party-at-prayer, whinging, whining, women-hating snob.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
and alphabetical, too!!
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Hey! Half a dozen of those aren't insults!
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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Hey! Half a dozen of those aren't insults!
Depends if one is the insulter or the insultee. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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8bit Micro
Shipmate
# 10395
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Posted
RooK posting on the TICTH thread made the following statement that tickled me and I thought was worth preserving...
quote:
May a particularly sinister species of electric eel spontaneously evolve legs and migrate in the night to all your bedrooms and nest in your wobbly bits.
8.
Posts: 629 | From: Somewhere in England | Registered: Sep 2005
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
Jimmy B's OP offers us an opportunity to post "profound bits" so here's a magnificent one uttered by Noneen on the Catechesis thread this morning:
quote:
We need to continually 'rekindle the amazement' - to swim in the wonder of the Incarnation, to dive deep into the truth that we are children of the Creator.
Mary
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Spawn, in the "CU Forced to Rename" thread in Purg:
Conservative evangelicals unfortunately are very often the anoraks of the evangelical world - obsessed with the science of salvation, rather than the mystery of it.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dyfrig:
Dammit, DOD, stop introducing nuance, thoughtfulness and complexity into things! What this country needs is strong, no-nonsense, clear cut prejudice which can be easily categorised without recourse to further consideration.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
That Teufelchen is a guy to watch:
quote:
I'm all for trying to defend the orthodoxy of Anglican bishops, but I'm in no hurry to get into a fight with the Abominable Strawman.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
A fab little gem from Firenze:
"perpetually obliging hot tottie"
Would make a fantastic Ship title ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
quote:
From her post on Mark Driscoll's article about pastor's wives:
There's all the rockstar babe-magnet stuff - which I don't doubt. Pastors/ministers have an in to people's lives, and swooning female congregants are nothing new in the history of the church. A bad consequence, IMFO, of male leadership. I don't know which is worse - celibacy, or this kind of snorting, dominant-male sexuality. And the peeved insistence that the payback for not succumbing to all this adulation, is a wife who is perpetually obliging hot tottie. In these circles I suspect she is also supposed to produce and rear a brood of children, be unpaid secretary, informal social worker - and smiling helpmeet at all times - without, for an instant, 'letting herself go'. Poor bitch.
The whole thing was fantastic really.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Ena
Shipmate
# 11545
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Posted
Someone posted this a little while back:
Blackadder: Baldrick, have you no idea what irony is?
Baldrick: Yeah, it's just like goldy and bronzey but it's irony.
And this was from a Purg thread ages ago:
Maybe the only answer we really get to prayers is "I love you."
Sometimes it's hard to hear.
Sorry but I don't know who! Any claimers?
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"Flying through rock is next week's lesson, Fletch" (Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
Posts: 557 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
That was mine, actually... ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
Perhaps only one who is devoutly C of E has the right to fall on the floor laughing at this quote - and I am one to exercise my rights freely.
the coiled spring introduced a thread in Purgatory regarding "Elton John gives interview in which he say organised religion should be banned because of attitude towards gays."
My favourite amongst coiled spring's responses to his own thread was this:
quote:
I can see Elton the Lad having trouble with Islam if UK goes over to Shia law, but don`t know why he would have a problem with the C of E With a bit of an effort on his part, should quickly become a pri-matey and wear one of those funny card hats to cover his bald spot.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
This little gem from Karl: LB
quote:
If pews seem hard I say grow a bigger arse.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Saint Bertelin in Hell:
Foot odour can usually be remedied with leather shoes and cotton-rich socks. Heresy is quite another matter.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
Damnit, Comet, I was just toddling down here to drop that one off!
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Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing.
--Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spiffy da WonderSheep:
Damnit, Comet, I was just toddling down here to drop that one off!
what, not this one instead?
quote:
Originally posted by the Spiffster:
churches really should be like sluts; take everyone no matter who they are or whether they can pay.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Ah, we could have a whole thread just on Sineisms.
Very recently: quote:
Not Feeding the Troll doesn't allow one to be Irate, Holier Than Thou, or Claiming The Moral High Ground, which is the way a lot of folks get their rocks off, figuratively (I hope) speaking.
On the other hand Feeding the Troll is a way of feeling you've done a Brave And Noble Thing without actually having done much of anything. Plus it gives one a Warm Glow of Self-Satisfaction.
Who could resist?
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Lowly Worm
Ship's Annelid
# 11663
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Posted
Said by Jahlove in the cafe' (and I reprint this with her permission...)
quote:
I keep my best twat for High Mass on Sunday, thank you very much.
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"Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so difficult?" - David Bader
Posts: 654 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
And now a message from John Donne:
quote:
...all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God’s hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
From Comet, posting in hell:
quote:
If you can't tell the difference between an adult man and a duck, there is no help for you here.
(edited to unbugger the quote code...)
[ 21. November 2006, 04:25: Message edited by: infinite_monkey ]
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
From Foxy on the thread in Heaven about loving Christmas:
quote:
I am utterly slain by the idea of Almighty God, Creator of the Universe, being born amongst us as a helpless baby in a stable, warmed by the breath of animals. Wow.
Absolutely!
Though I normally reference very witty posts, this is one time when no Franciscan could resist a quote that is so warm and spot on.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Riverfalls demonstrates the proper application of 1 Corinthians 13 to nurks:
quote:
3If I give away all I have, and if I give my body to be burned, but if I do not love people, I get nothing out of it.
4Nurks is patient and kind. Nurks is not jealous. Nurks is not proud and does not boast.
5Nurks does not do things that are not nice. Nurks does not just think of itself. Nurks does not get angry. Nurks holds no wrong feelings in the heart.
6Nurks is not glad when people do wrong things. But it is always glad when they do right.
7Nurks forgives everything. Nurks is always trusting, and always hoping, and never gives up.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
After lo these many years as a Hell Host, the penny finally drops for RooK:
quote:
GROAN
People, please. You're making me start to think you all like being bitter, twisted anger sponges.
[ 29. November 2006, 01:53: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Sanityman on the Torchwood thread in Heaven:
quote:
That's one gaseous alien shag-monster and one squid-cum-200-year-old lesbian serial killer: I wonder if RTD wouldn't be happier filming a sequel to the Rocky Horror Show?
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
After lo these many years as a Hell Host, the penny finally drops for RooK:
quote:
GROAN
People, please. You're making me start to think you all like being bitter, twisted anger sponges.
Ah, but we are...otherwise we would not sinfully like eating chocolate cake, indulge in anger mgmt style on the ship.
For some reason, I think of smiling sponges, then mean nasty ones with square teeth plus pointed teeth...saying awful things.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
SpongeBob Squarefangs, duchess?
M
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
Melon, on "Stupid Computer Admins":
quote:
I hate that sort of job, which is why I don't tend to do that sort of job.
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Leetle Masha:
SpongeBob Squarefangs, duchess?
M
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Mousethief takes issue with Frank n' Honest:
quote:
If there is no God, who sends people to Hell? The Sorting Hat?
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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Mousethief takes issue with Frank n' Honest:
quote:
If there is no God, who sends people to Hell? The Sorting Hat?
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sister Mary Precious in a Heaven thread about "when did you find out":
Santa is truly just as real as the Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, and Cher.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I know you all will agree this needs to be archived:
Miss Sarkycow, on nebie flamebait:
quote:
Why do we periodically get random newbies who come across the Ship and think that the best possible way to have fun here is to come to Hell and see:
1.How stupid a thing they can say in an OP.
2.How many people can provide a rebuttal within 24 hours.
3.How many 6yr old insults they can hurl.
Is there some board elsewhere having a competition? Because surely the chance of lots and lots of random people all independently deciding that's the best way forward is too small to be believable. Or am I underestimating the stupidity of the human race again?
And why do they all say some variation on these lines:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wanted to see how hot it gets down here. Your insults are nothing to me. I am TEH UBER FLAMEGOD I will win this.
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It's not a fucking competition.
Arseholic morons.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I know you all will agree this needs to be archived:
Miss Sarkycow, on newbie flamebait:
quote:
Why do we periodically get random newbies who come across the Ship and think that the best possible way to have fun here is to come to Hell and see:
1.How stupid a thing they can say in an OP.
2.How many people can provide a rebuttal within 24 hours.
3.How many 6yr old insults they can hurl.
Is there some board elsewhere having a competition? Because surely the chance of lots and lots of random people all independently deciding that's the best way forward is too small to be believable. Or am I underestimating the stupidity of the human race again?
And why do they all say some variation on these lines:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wanted to see how hot it gets down here. Your insults are nothing to me. I am TEH UBER FLAMEGOD I will win this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not a fucking competition.
Arseholic morons.
[ 10. December 2006, 21:32: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
YES, DAMMIT, IT'S BRILLIANT!
( )
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lowly Worm
Ship's Annelid
# 11663
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar on a Hell thread:
It's times like this that I imagine RooK and Marvin and Sarky with lovely golden rings shimmering above their heads, as they paitiently read all the dross.
St RooK, St Marvin and St Sarkycow. The Trinity.
Hmmm, there's a theology I can get behind!
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"Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so difficult?" - David Bader
Posts: 654 | Registered: Jul 2006
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Arrietty:
quote:
Originally posted by aumbry:
I am a regular visitor to London from this Saxon fastness and I recall seeing no Christmas symbolism in any of the public decorations.
Come to think of it, my last Easter egg wasn't embossed with the stations of the cross either.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Teufelchen
Shipmate
# 10158
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ken on the 'Last Rites' Purgatory thread:
...the stresses introduced by Anglo-Catholcism - i.e. "how do we ensure that the next vicar is the Right Sort of Chap when half the diocese thinks we are a cross between the Great Whore of Babylon and the Spawn of Cthulu?"
T.
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Little devil
Posts: 3894 | From: London area | Registered: Aug 2005
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
A Horseman Bree "special" on the Homosexuality DH thread.
quote:
Gluttons and gossips tend to have the valued positions in the church, despite the Biblical strictures.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Pure Sunshine
Shipmate
# 11904
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Posted
In Hell, Dinghy Sailor wrote:
Ken, why do you have to be right so much? It makes me all the more annoyed when I don't agree with you.
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
I think Ken should use that as his sig!
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Pure Sunshine by name, and sometimes by nature.
Posts: 472 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
"Why Bother Getting Up in the Morning" Dept.:
quote:
Originally posted by Bean Sidhe:
Les
We will be offended if you are offensive
We will be offended if you are not offensive
We will be offended if you take offence
We will be offended if you do not take offence
We will be offended, in fact, if you speak
We will be offended if you do not speak
Read that once more, then start again.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
...and Kenwritez lives to serve:
quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
I have no husband. So Duran Duran underwear welcomed here. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Duch, I dunno if I can find any down here. What if I just grab a pair of whites and use a Magic Marker to write DURAN on each cheek and Hungry Like the Wolf on the front?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Quoth Callan in Purg, on the thread regarding children in church:
quote:
Churches are scary enough for the unchurched without them having to face the massed ranks of the Hyacinth Bouquet Panzer Division every time their children makes a sound which is not authorised by the rubrics.
what a terrifying mental image!
(but funny as hell!)
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Another gem from KenWritez:
quote:
God is the author of my life, I'm the pages on which His text is written.
Currently, He seems to be drawing cartoons on me.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Goes well with the Donne quote.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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