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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: SoF Quotes File
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Quoth the esteemed tomb (squamous and rugose) on the AS:Molly thread:
quote:
Death is so inconvenient.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
LynnMagdaleneCollege gives props to Sine:
quote:
Sine, your cynical self-interest regarding no-room-at-the-inn and the Bethlehem Marriott is practically inspiring.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Eliab in Purg:
quote:
The Christian gospel is not a logic puzzle that God set us so that he can ensure he gets the smartest possible worshippers. If it were, the incarnation would have been unnecessary – a Sudoku would have done just as well.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Spiffy in Purg:
quote:
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is simple and 10 is complex, God is a banana.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Grushi attempts to celebrate his Loss of Faith:
quote:
I went out[to Walmart] this morning after learning that Genesis 1 invalidates the whole of the bible, and the best they could offer me was Tickle Me Richard Dawkins.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I love it when there's a hilarious post in Eccles. Here's Louise describing the music at Christmas Mass:
quote:
lo, verily, the organist had smitten the keyboard like unto Samson getting all Bronze Age on somebody's ass.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Ena
Shipmate
# 11545
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Posted
On the 'Ungorgivable (sic) sin' thread in Heaven a little while back:
' Not so very long ago, gully prepared to deliver a major seminar before the great and the good, SWMBO had to go commando. Threw away all her gallen-apart knickers with not a thought og buying replacements. Mr Eggiciency had the wash on; when cries were heard "Guck! I haven't got any knickers!" '
Unfortunately I don't remember who said it, and it won't let me search for it, so.........yet again, I say: any claimers? Someone must be proud of that one!
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"Flying through rock is next week's lesson, Fletch" (Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
Posts: 557 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Can't argue with you, Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
If Kindade had painted only one picture, I think I would like it.
Unfortunately, he didn't stop there.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
[Tangent]I had never heard of Kindade - but he appears to be some kind of American Jack Vettriano[/Tangent]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oops, didn't correct the spelling. It's Kincade.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ena:
Unfortunately I don't remember who said it, and it won't let me search for it, so.........yet again, I say: any claimers? Someone must be proud of that one!
I think that was Welease Woderick, but I could be wrong.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
quote:
Originally posted by Ena:
Unfortunately I don't remember who said it, and it won't let me search for it, so.........yet again, I say: any claimers? Someone must be proud of that one!
I think that was Welease Woderick, but I could be wrong.
No, it wasn't. Take a bow, Zealot en Vacance.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Ena
Shipmate
# 11545
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Posted
Ah, thank you! I can see WW saying it too, though...
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"Flying through rock is next week's lesson, Fletch" (Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
Posts: 557 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2006
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
[Tangent]I had never heard of Kindade - but he appears to be some kind of American Jack Vettriano[/Tangent]
...except Vettriano's works aren't cloying gobs of sentiment. I like JV's work because it contains a bit of mystery and helps me build stories around the figures in the paintings (something I value as a writer), whereas Kincade's works present me with nothing more than a cute image.
Of course, both of these men can laugh at their critics all the way to the bank.
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ena:
I can see WW saying it too, though...
I can't see WW referring to SWMBO somehow - I think HWMBO might have something to say about that ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
I thought the same thing, JtL. Congrats, BTW.
Adeodatus on Torchwood:
quote:
There are only so many British cities you can trample on or fight an interplanetary war over, before somebody somewhere notices.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
I've already just confessed that Callan is one of my favourite quotable shipmates, and here he is on form again. From the NOS thread in Purgatory:
quote:
but we can all see that giving someone in their twenties pastoral care of a congregation of six hundred young people after one year at theological college with no adequate support or oversight is going to end badly whether he is Hannibal Lecter or St. John of the Cross.
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
From the hell thread "Why not just have a siren go off? "FAT-so, FAT-so, FAT-so!"
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
I look in the mirror and see... A thrill ride. The cockpit of a vintage luxury car well-covered in butter-soft Fine Corinthian Leather. A full-fat, extra-cream dessert, spiked with spices and finest liquors and set afire as it's served.
All I can say is whoa..yeaaassss! ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
(and I am borrowing this...mighty fine line! )
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
Max in Eccles
quote:
Mine goes over my head and then has a zip up the middle.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I really should be getting to bed, but I had to drop this one off:
quote:
Originally posted by Corpus cani:
There's little more painful than banging one's own bony bits against someone else's bony bits, and there's always the risk of it sounding like a xylophone.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
From the hell thread "Why not just have a siren go off? "FAT-so, FAT-so, FAT-so!"
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
I look in the mirror and see... A thrill ride. The cockpit of a vintage luxury car well-covered in butter-soft Fine Corinthian Leather. A full-fat, extra-cream dessert, spiked with spices and finest liquors and set afire as it's served.
All I can say is whoa..yeaaassss!
(and I am borrowing this...mighty fine line! )
Uh huh. That's Janine all right.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Corpus cani
Ship's Anachronism
# 1663
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Posted
Yoiks! I am humbled Mme Lapin avec une hache.
In years to come, those researching my biography will find this permanent record of my erudition.
"Oh, look," will say Researcher the First, "He contributed a passage to an internet-based theological forum!"
"Really?" will come the response. "What is the underlying theme of his thesis?"
"Umm... it's all about knobbing skinny girls."
Bang goes my canonisation then...
Cc
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Bishop Lord Corpus Cani the Tremulous of Buzzing St Helens.
Posts: 4435 | From: Trumpton | Registered: Nov 2001
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
Posted by Ags
quote:
Don't mind, lad or lass
[ 09. January 2007, 22:52: Message edited by: Spike ]
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Well, Cc, at least you named your preference.
I, on the other hand, seem to be a little ambivalent about mine! ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
Spike - ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Sine Nomine reflects:
quote:
I’m not becoming my mother. I’m becoming my grandmother. And to think I pitched her bridge cloths when I moved. I knew I shouldn’t get rid of anything. I just KNEW it!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
From Trudy Scrumptious on the Praise Thread -- quote:
Sometimes all we can do is throw a rock at the window and let grace shine through!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I'm back with another; this time, Bede's American Successor on the ECUSA vs. CofE thread:
quote:
To forget that +KJS was an active research oceanographer is not wise. She is not the Vicar of Dibley in rochet and chimere.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
IngoB in purgatory: quote:
God is Love, not Prozac.
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
This comes up all the time, so I feel it proper to save this nugget form Lyda Rose:
quote:
It's almost frightening the regularity in which it represents people who like to play in Hell- but not well. Someone should write it up as an addendum to Rorschach.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oops, clipped it.
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
What is it about the tiger avatar? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
It's almost frightening the regularity in which it represents people who like to play in Hell- but not well. Someone should write it up as an addendum to Rorschach.
I except Mama Thomas, Of course. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
[ 18. January 2007, 05:01: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
...and ken preaches the full gospel:
quote:
Look, this is Hell. We've got no problem with posters mocking loonies and dumbos and mentally subnormal sick people. But if they misuse the English language our pedantry circuits will be engaged.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lowly Worm
Ship's Annelid
# 11663
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Posted
on the God isn't a bitch hell thread...
quote:
Posted by The Lad Himself:
Obviously God's female. Otherwise how do you explain multiple orgasms? Exactly.
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"Be here now, be somewhere else later. Is that so difficult?" - David Bader
Posts: 654 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Dang it, Worm, you beat me to it!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Keep this excuse handy, courtesy of dogwonderer:
quote:
I haven't actually read past Line 3 of the OP yet, cos my dog ate the printout.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Another RooKism for the minutes:
quote:
the truth is that in this thread you've been little more than a scratching post to a herd of bored cats.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
I love taking things out of context...
quote:
Originally posted by Lynn MagdalenCollege:
Play with your dead kitty and see what looks good - be bold!
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Another RooKism :It may be cynical, but you can't really argue with it:
quote:
I think you'll find that the preponderance of clinical evidence clearly identifies two specific kinds of relationships as being most likely to cause psychological harm: marriage and parenthood.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Corpus Cani: quote:
As a fully fledged Anglican I can claim to be fully qualified in nailing my colours firmly to the fence.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Vanity alert
I posted this a long time ago, in reference to somebody involved in the Gitmo situation:
quote:
I'm sure he'll be providing the forward to the Patriot Edition of the Malleus Malificarum.
(I just thought that was a great line. Forgive me.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Dear Blesséd Spiffy said in Hell, in re: Gordo's recurrent lack of Immodium:
quote:
The Gospel according to Gordito, after all, says Jesus wandered into the desert for 40 days to come up with the 4 Step Plan for Salvation and to helpfully write out all His words in red marker in Elizabethan English, all the while singing "Shine, Myself, Shine".
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
I just came here to print that Pete. It may be the funniest thing I've ever read here. At least in the top ten. That darn Spiffy.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881
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Posted
From the speed camera thread in Hell:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
You're so dense that your brain must have an event horizon around it.
I think the most beautiful thing about this insult is the incongruity of a person who knows what an event horizon acting so dense as to deserve this. OliviaG
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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"
Posts: 5430 | From: Caprica City | Registered: Jul 2005
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by OliviaG:
I think the most beautiful thing about this insult is the incongruity of a person who knows what an event horizon acting so dense as to deserve this. OliviaG
Hey! I resemble that remark!
I maintain my physics-based approach as correct... but RooK is much better at the riposte than me, so that's where the kudos goes. Curse his canuck hide!
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
KenW's been taking the megalomania pills again.
Once he stopped taking them, and an ozone hole developed over Fresno.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by AdamPater:
But before you can listen you have to stop talking. And before you can understand someone you have to stop telling them what they're saying. Before you can point them to Jesus, you have to stop giving them the finger.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
I was just on my way to post that one: AdamPater,
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Doublethink (on the Purg discussion about banning fake testicles as vehicle ornaments): quote:
I wonder if they'd bother to ban false clitorides ? Though of course you'd have to mount them somewhere under the hood, and the mechanic would spend ages trying to find them ...
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Sine Nomine in Hell:
quote:
Well you know, Gordo, it occurs to me that if you were so damn happy with your own beliefs you wouldn’t feel the compulsion to throw stones at other people’s.
Words to live by.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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