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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Famous Headlines of Weirdness
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
We had for a while a thread about Famous BBC RSS Feed headlines, and assorted ones.
I keep coming across new headlines in the media which I consider worth sharing with the wider Ship crew, and imagine you might encounter those as well and wish to post them, possibly with our own brief and insightful comment, like in the previous thread. I hope I'm not mistaken, and am really looking forward to discovering your curious finds and clever observations! ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
* * * * * * *
Thus: Welcome to the wonderful world of strange, not quite thought-through or well-structured tag lines.
May I start, please? ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
I've just found this, from Reuters:
Plane broke up in mid-air after noise - investigators
That's why I love silent compartments on trains. They definitely should have them on planes too.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
So the plane broke up after the noise-investigators?
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
If think it makes sense to assume it broke up after noise, especially as planes are known to be somewhat on the silent side. But then YMMV.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Old, but sweet.
Man falls off bicycle
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
On Tuesday, the notice outside a Dundee newsagent read "Baptist Rocket Kills Dundee Cow"
A cow, believed spooked by the noise from a firework party hosted by a Baptist church, broke through a fence, fell down an embankment and died. The Dundee Courier even carried a photo of the dead cow.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Sky News has just been featuring "Screams in Scotland as Clooney Has a Sarnie".
Who or what was in the sarnie to make the Scots scream has not been revealed.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
An old favourite stuck on the fridge door for years was from the New York Times: "Creative Tension Grips Yonkers". With certain Goon Show overtones, it seemed somewhat unlikely. (Just checked with Auntie Google, and for once, my memory was good - it's real!)
In NEQ's territory, there was the Press & Journal's legendary "Giant neep found in Turriff", but I don't know if that's verifiable.
I liked the Dundee cow story. Was it a presbyterian or Wee Free cow, I wonder? Could be bad for ecumenical relations.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri;
quote:
In NEQ's territory, there was the Press & Journal's legendary "Giant neep found in Turriff", but I don't know if that's verifiable.
It's not true. The giant neep hailed from Crathie. It was a Balmoral green top neep, measured 37 inches in circumference and weighed 22lbs. Also, in fairness, news of the neep wasn't front page news, but was tucked away in the farming section.
Although Turriff hasn't produced any neeps worthy of report by the P&J, it did lay claim to a giant tattie, weighing 2lb 7oz, which was displayed in a shop window for three weeks in 1936. I imagine it was quite the talking point in Turriff.
(Translation - neeps =turnips, tatties = potatoes)
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Attack on Paris an assault on the city itself
I think I know what they're trying to say, ie. it's an attack on the spirit of the city, but the headline as written doesn't even work as a meaningful redundancy. Just a redundancy, full stop.
link
[ 14. November 2015, 19:44: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
From the "Mirror Daily" (not to be confused with the Daily Mirror):
Mass Extinction Would Affect Massive Animals More
So smaller animals enjoy extinction more? Or it doesn't hurt as much? What?
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Today, the BBC News website offers us:
Beethoven disrupts anti-migrant rally in Germany
Pretty spry for an old man.
As if that wasn't enough, the first paragraph of the story reads:
quote:
German police are taking legal action against theatre staff in Mainz for disrupting an anti-migrant rally by singing Beethoven's Ode to Joy.
What?
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Weird. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
The city newsletter that comes with my water/waste bill had the headline "Roof rats meeting in January." I was quite disappointed to read on and learn that this is an informational meeting for (human) residents, and not a gathering or rodents.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From the BBC News site:
Police 'not prepared for honour crime'
At least one group of people not doing 'em! That's a relief.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
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Posted
A couple of years back, the BBC website had the succinct-to-the-point-of-meaninglessness headline:
Bat Walk Ha-Ha Fall Man Sues
A man who fell down a ha-ha ditch at a stately home in the dark after the end of a walk to spot bats was suing the stately home. Makes perfect sense now.
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"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Icelanders flock to religion revering Sumerian gods and tax rebates
Obviously Valhalla not coming across with the financial incentives these days.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From Reuters:
'No fingerprints!' chant migrants in Italy
The nation-wide biggest, weirdest Christmas choir ever?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
BBC News frontpage:
'Whip' organisers of Iglesias Lanka gig
This left me puzzled. Where's the verb? Or is there one? A group called 'Whip' are the organisers of the concert? An eccentric Iglesias now doing a BDSM show, Madonna-like?
It is actually this:
quote:
Sri Lanka's president says the organisers of an Enrique Iglesias gig should be whipped as punishment over the behaviour of some female fans.
Which is just as strange!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Seen on tonight's MSNBC crawl:
Man falls to death while distracted by electronic device in San Diego.
I **told** you that the electronic devices they have in San Diego are especially dangerous!
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
BBC again very cryptic:
Death quiz man, 86, 'woman's husband' ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
Absurd? Gruesome story here, if interested.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
Have to admit to being irresistibly drawn to this headline after being sent the sad care home story link.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
There have been similar headlines before, but it is always a classic:
Fight breaks out at New Jersey anti-violence demonstration
I don't think they are doing it right....
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
From the BBC:
Giant Mao appears in China countryside
Suddenly, I have a plot for the next Godzilla movie.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger:
China may be using sea to hide submarines.
Cunning. Very cunning.
I only just read this, and had myself a great OLL (Out Loud Laugh)
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Seen on this morning's CNN crawl:
Clinton, Sanders running neck in neck in Iowa
It's about time those two put their heads together, don't you think?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
From the BBC:
Penguin scraps degree requirement
I'm still trying to work out if that's a very demanding Antarctic bird or if one has previously needed to be highly qualified to work in the manufacture of small chocolate biscuits.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
From the BBC:
Penguin scraps degree requirement
All that work for nothing.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Just seen on BBC online: quote:
Dog poo DNA test launches in Barking
Actually I have nothing to add.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Also from the BBC website:
India school mauling leopard escapes
The question of why a school in India would maul a leopard becomes trivial compared to the question of how, exactly, a school escapes.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From BBC News:
Swiss vote on foreign criminals law
There could be an apostrophe missing, couldn't there? I hope voters will say no to a law that's brought forward by foreign criminals! - At least they've got a vote on it...
[ 28. February 2016, 07:22: Message edited by: Wesley J ]
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
From the BBC:
Star Wars victorious at Empire awards
I want to make some sort of joke about the Oscars striking back, but I can't quite make work out the precise wording.
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I watch the local news over breakfast each morning (no, it doesn't put me off my food). There are two stories that you can rely on to appear every morning: (1) somebody got shot last night; and (2) somebody's house burned down last night.
Imagine my satisfaction when the following appeared on the crawl: "Suspect shot while house burns." Talk about two birds with one stone. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Lately we can rely on a third story also appearing every morning: "Driver caught going wrong way on freeway."
I can hardly wait to see the crawl: "Driver shot while car catches fire going wrong way on freeway."
[ 08. April 2016, 19:39: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From the Grauniad:
Prince Sister says artist had no known will
We always thought he had quite a will of his own, but now we realise he was totally will-less.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
From the Western Telegraph
John Thomas in trouble over penis pictures
Is anyone surprised?
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
From the BBC:
Tim Peake to control rover from space
Poor doggy...
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From Reuters News:
China trains 'fishing militia' to sail into disputed waters
Why are Chinese railways fishing for militia? Oh... I see!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Olympian 'drove drunk with shotgun'
I did not think it was weird until I saw that the report came out of Australia. I really expected the US to sweep the medals in the Driving-Drunk-With-Shotgun event.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
My local paper provided this thought-provoking headline this morning:
Rent of D.A.'s ex-wife probed
I had no idea you even could rent a D.A.'s ex-wife! I think I'll have one at my next party!
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Americans to buy Swansea
Why on earth they would want it I'm not sure.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From Reuters:
Oxford museum exhibits roast under newly cleaned glass roof
Not some historical 'roast' exhibited (whatever that might be!), but just some very high temperatures in the Oxford University Museum of Natural History. A bit disappointing.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
From the Telegraph:
"Woman left in bathroom as baby attempts to find birth mother with help of Facebook."
O cruel (but clearly very computer-literate) baby.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Qoheleth.
Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265
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Posted
The Tragedy of the Commas:
quote:
For one Friday every month in 2016, the Pope visits people who have suffered as part of his Holy Year of Mercy.
(Channel 4 News Facebook page)
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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.
Posts: 2532 | From: the radiator of life | Registered: Apr 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
From the Telegraph: "Punch and Judy booth to close after 130 years because puppeteer is fed up with kids throwing rocks at him."
I'm amazed he put up with it for so long.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
From the BBC today:
Star snapped before and after explosion
Charlie Sheen just can't stay out of the headlines, can he?
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Proof indeed of the existence of God.
Quoting from the linked article:
quote:
Perkins was forced to escape by canoe earlier this week when water poured into his southern Louisiana home.
What? You mean he couldn't just walk on the water?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Another misplaced modifier on this morning's headline crawl on the local TV station I love to hate:
Sen. Jeff Flake says he can't vote for Trump on several interview programs this weekend.
Well of course not, Jeff. You have to go the polls to vote.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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