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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Famous Headlines of Weirdness
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
On this morning's TV news crawl: "The girl was brought to the hospital and is on life support."
Any particular girl, or should we draw a name out of a hat?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
Pain-relief poppies give disenchanted farmers a headache
From Australian's ABC. Sweet.
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Ohher
Shipmate
# 18607
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Posted
From some time back, my local rag had a story headed "Boy Heads for Transplant."
No girl heads available, alas.
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From the Land of the Native American Brave and the Home of the Buy-One-Get-One-Free
Posts: 374 | From: New Hampshire, USA | Registered: Jun 2016
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Rat on board causes flight to be cancelled
Surely a human would make the decision? Or was it a surfing rat and the pilots were laughing too hard? Was it a cheese board and planes aren't allowed to fly without cheddar? We'll never know...
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Thai penis whitening trend raises eyebrows
{On BBC World News Asia section)
What the !*^!
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
I suppose it was inevitable, since labia whitening is also a thing. (A thing to be sedulously avoided, let me assure you.)
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Ohher
Shipmate
# 18607
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Posted
I could certainly Google these phenomena and add to my ever-expanding fund of Useless-&-Disturbing Knowledge, but on reflection, I believe I'll pass. Please refrain from enlightening me further.
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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From the Land of the Native American Brave and the Home of the Buy-One-Get-One-Free
Posts: 374 | From: New Hampshire, USA | Registered: Jun 2016
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
On these subjects ignorance is decidedly the better part. There are things which once learned cannot be unlearned!
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I should say so. Definitely Not Going There. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
So I just looked at my Google News Feed. One box leads with:
Trump Overstates Size of Tax Cuts in Speech to Farmers attributed to the NY Times. Then, under the heading "Related Coverage" comes this headline: One-year-old girl attacked by family dog in Falmouth.
How the heck is that related coverage?? And it was also labelled "Highly Cited" and attributed to My Fox Boston.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
So I just looked at my Google News Feed. One box leads with:
Trump Overstates Size of Tax Cuts in Speech to Farmers attributed to the NY Times. Then, under the heading "Related Coverage" comes this headline: One-year-old girl attacked by family dog in Falmouth.
How the heck is that related coverage?? And it was also labelled "Highly Cited" and attributed to My Fox Boston.
"Falmouth" and "Foul-mouthed" don't sound so different. Maybe that's how they are related?
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
On the crawl of this morning's news broadcast on one of our local TV stations, known for one illiterate blooper after another in the crawl (although I never thought they'd stoop to "idiot's apostrophe"):
Storm threatens California burn areas in it's way
Yes, I suppose storms do have their own unique way of threatening burn areas.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
Googling the 19th-century US education reformer Horace Mann (as you do), I came across this headline from a couple days ago, apparently:
Ambulances called to Horace Mann Middle School for ill students
It's nice that there's a school for ill students. But I wonder why they needed to call an ambulance?
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
On the crawl of this morning's news broadcast on one of our local TV stations, known for one illiterate blooper after another in the crawl (although I never thought they'd stoop to "idiot's apostrophe")
I worked at a TV station about 20 years ago, and became convinced that there are those who enter broadcast journalism because they can't read or write.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I wouldn't be surprised.
And on this morning's news:
Suspect in murder, massacre in court
I'd love to have been a fly on the wall of **that** courtroom.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
I wouldn't be surprised.
And on this morning's news:
Suspect in murder, massacre in court
I'd love to have been a fly on the wall of **that** courtroom.
The Marx brothers would make a whole movie based on that headline.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
From BBC News:
Giant bat remains discovered in New Zealand
... despite its desperate struggle to hide again?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Salicional
Shipmate
# 16461
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Posted
I got a chuckle from this one, on CBC news today:
Police Dog Easily Tracks Down Saint John Steak Thief
The article includes a quote from the Saint John police: "The steaks were recovered from the suspect. Probably not the best thing to be carrying when a determined police service dog is tracking you down."
Posts: 68 | From: near Lake Erie | Registered: Jun 2011
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Salicional:
"The steaks were recovered from the suspect."
But were they recovered from the dog?
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
On Trump's medical exam results:
quote:
Doctor: No heart, cognitive problems
Give that headline writer a Pulitzer.
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
On Trump's medical exam results:
quote:
Doctor: No heart, cognitive problems
Give that headline writer a Pulitzer.
I love it!
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
SHUTDOWN BEGINS AS BILL FALTERS IN SENATE
Says the WaPo. Ok, but who is that Bill Falters guy?
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
He's probably a cousin of our old friend Bill Posters. Now he seems to have gone quiet of late, so I suspect that he has not only finally been Prosecuted but locked up.
You may also recall Wol's distant relative Trespassers Will in "Winnie the Pooh".
[ 20. January 2018, 08:40: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
You may also recall Wol's distant relative Trespassers Will in "Winnie the Pooh".
Piglet's relative. Uncle, IIRC.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Ah, I'm wrong. Piglet's grandfather was Trespassers W, short for Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William. It was the grandfather who was named Trespassers after an uncle and William after Trespassers.
Source, chapter 3, In Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
Ah, I'm wrong. Piglet's grandfather was Trespassers W, short for Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William. It was the grandfather who was named Trespassers after an uncle and William after Trespassers.
Source, chapter 3, In Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle.
[tangent]
Seeing as this is The Circus where important issues are discussed, and that you've raised Winnie the Pooh, I wish to assert that the best Expotition was to the North Pole, where this occurs as they are sneaking:
quote:
"Hush!" said Eeyore in a terrible voice to all Rabbit's friends-and-relations, and "Hush!" they said hastily to each other all down the line, until it got to the last one of all. And the last and smallest friend-and-relation was so upset to find that the whole Expotition was saying "Hush!" to him, that he buried himself head downwards in a crack in the ground, and stayed there for two days until the danger was over, and then went home in a great hurry, and lived quietly with his Aunt ever-afterwards. His name was Alexander Beetle.
I wondered for a very long time who Alex Beetle's aunt was, and my very own aunt assured me that Trespassers William had a wife, and this was the aunt in question. Her name was Theresa William. Debatable perhaps.
[/tangent]
[ 20. January 2018, 20:50: Message edited by: no prophet's flag is set so... ]
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
Ah, I'm wrong. Piglet's grandfather was Trespassers W ...
Indeed it was. We were thinking of getting a sign made for our house saying "Trespassers W".
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I regularly walk past a house with that name. Almost as good as the house near a former home of mine which was named Pooh Corner. Not quite sure what the inhabitants were thinking but they named their son Christopher Robin. At least he'd never get lost.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
This has to win the Freudian Slip of the Year award"
Men's clinics report erectile dysfunction on the rise
Well, no, it isn't, and that's the problem, eh?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Miss Amanda: ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Just what I needed on a grim, grey Monday when I'm feeling grim and grey.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Edmund reaches Australian open semi-finals
Lucy and the High King still stuck in Lantern Waste, however.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
Currently on BBC.com's "Most Read":
US tortured sibling 'bullied at school'
The article fails to explain why the US felt it necessary to torture a sibling who had been bullied at school. One assumes that it was done in the national defense, and that the school was located at Guantanamo Bay.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Broad Street is closed after a sinkhole appeared in the middle of the road - council, Fire Service, Thames Water looking into it
Can't tell if the wording is on purpose, but cue pictures of three men 'looking into' a hole.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Boris and the case of the ancient mummy
No, not something suggesting that our Foreign Secretary has taken to chasing 'cougar' women: rather that he appears to be a descendant of the famous "Mummy of Basel". The mummified remains of a woman discovered in Basel two years ago have been found to be those of Anna Catharina Bischoff, the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother of Boris Johnson.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
Someone posted this on facebook today. It sounds like it could be about college football, but not...quite:
quote:
Satanic Temple Beats Missouri in Showdown Over Abortion Rights
What was the score? 66-6?
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
A classic one from the WaPo now:
Germans up in arms about weapons sales [...]
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
On this morning's news:
Ebay to sever ties with Paypall [sic]
It's Paypal, dummies. A pall is something you put over a coffin at a funeral. It's true, however, that this may very well be the death knell for Paypal.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
From Huffpo:
A Behaviour Code In Parliament Will Help Curb Sexual Harassment But It Must Go Further
You mean the behaviour code, right? Please?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
On tonight's TV news:
Teen Shot by Shopping Center
Good Lord! It's not bad enough that lunatic yahoos roam around with guns. Now buildings do too. What's next -- the library?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
On tonight's TV news:
Teen Shot by Shopping Center
Good Lord! It's not bad enough that lunatic yahoos roam around with guns. Now buildings do too. What's next -- the library?
"The only thing that stops a bad shopping center with a gun is a good shopping center with a gun."
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Not a headline, in fact from the opposite end of an article.
A comments section remark in a piece about the disposal of a WWII bomb found in the Thames near the London City Airport.
It belongs in a MUSEUM! They should have blown it up in a museum.
Made me chuckle.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Elon Musk’s Boring Company gets Hyperloop permit for NYC to DC
And I thought Mr Musk led exciting companies...
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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